<h2><SPAN name="trap"></SPAN> A Trap to Catch a Cracksman </h2>
<p>I was just putting out my light when the telephone rang a furious
tocsin in the next room. I flounced out of bed more asleep than awake;
in another minute I should have been past ringing up. It was one
o'clock in the morning, and I had been dining with Swigger Morrison at
his club.</p>
<p>"Hulloa!"</p>
<p>"That you, Bunny?"</p>
<p>"Yes—are you Raffles?"</p>
<p>"What's left of me! Bunny, I want you—quick."</p>
<p>And even over the wire his voice was faint with anxiety and
apprehension.</p>
<p>"What on earth has happened?"</p>
<p>"Don't ask! You never know—"</p>
<p>"I'll come at once. Are you there, Raffles?"</p>
<p>"What's that?"</p>
<p>"Are you there, man?"</p>
<p>"Ye—e—es."</p>
<p>"At the Albany?"</p>
<p>"No, no; at Maguire's."</p>
<p>"You never said so. And where's Maguire?"</p>
<p>"In Half-moon Street."</p>
<p>"I know that. Is he there now?"</p>
<p>"No—not come in yet—and I'm caught."</p>
<p>"Caught!"</p>
<p>"In that trap he bragged about. It serves me right. I didn't believe
in it. But I'm caught at last ... caught ... at last!"</p>
<p>"When he told us he set it every night! Oh, Raffles, what sort of a
trap is it? What shall I do? What shall I bring?"</p>
<p>But his voice had grown fainter and wearier with every answer, and now
there was no answer at all. Again and again I asked Raffles if he was
there; the only sound to reach me in reply was the low metallic hum of
the live wire between his ear and mine. And then, as I sat gazing
distractedly at my four safe walls, with the receiver still pressed to
my head, there came a single groan, followed by the dull and dreadful
crash of a human body falling in a heap.</p>
<p>In utter panic I rushed back into my bedroom, and flung myself into the
crumpled shirt and evening clothes that lay where I had cast them off.
But I knew no more what I was doing than what to do next I afterward
found that I had taken out a fresh tie, and tied it rather better than
usual; but I can remember thinking of nothing but Raffles in some
diabolical man-trap, and of a grinning monster stealing in to strike
him senseless with one murderous blow. I must have looked in the glass
to array myself as I did; but the mind's eye was the seeing eye, and it
was filled with this frightful vision of the notorious pugilist known
to fame and infamy as Barney Maguire.</p>
<p>It was only the week before that Raffles and I had been introduced to
him at the Imperial Boxing Club. Heavy-weight champion of the United
States, the fellow was still drunk with his sanguinary triumphs on that
side, and clamoring for fresh conquests on ours. But his reputation had
crossed the Atlantic before Maguire himself; the grandiose hotels had
closed their doors to him; and he had already taken and sumptuously
furnished the house in Half-moon Street which does not re-let to this
day. Raffles had made friends with the magnificent brute, while I took
timid stock of his diamond studs, his jewelled watch-chain, his
eighteen-carat bangle, and his six-inch lower jaw. I had shuddered to
see Raffles admiring the gewgaws in his turn, in his own brazen
fashion, with that air of the cool connoisseur which had its double
meaning for me. I for my part would as lief have looked a tiger in the
teeth. And when we finally went home with Maguire to see his other
trophies, it seemed to me like entering the tiger's lair. But an
astounding lair it proved, fitted throughout by one eminent firm, and
ringing to the rafters with the last word on fantastic furniture.</p>
<p>The trophies were a still greater surprise. They opened my eyes to the
rosier aspect of the noble art, as presently practised on the right
side of the Atlantic. Among other offerings, we were permitted to
handle the jewelled belt presented to the pugilist by the State of
Nevada, a gold brick from the citizens of Sacramento, and a model of
himself in solid silver from the Fisticuff Club in New York. I still
remember waiting with bated breath for Raffles to ask Maguire if he
were not afraid of burglars, and Maguire replying that he had a trap to
catch the cleverest cracksman alive, but flatly refusing to tell us
what it was. I could not at the moment conceive a more terrible trap
than the heavy-weight himself behind a curtain. Yet it was easy to see
that Raffles had accepted the braggart's boast as a challenge. Nor did
he deny it later when I taxed him with his mad resolve; he merely
refused to allow me to implicate myself in its execution. Well, there
was a spice of savage satisfaction in the thought that Raffles had been
obliged to turn to me in the end. And, but for the dreadful thud which
I had heard over the telephone, I might have extracted some genuine
comfort from the unerring sagacity with which he had chosen his night.</p>
<p>Within the last twenty-four hours Barney Maguire had fought his first
great battle on British soil. Obviously, he would no longer be the man
that he had been in the strict training before the fight; never, as I
gathered, was such a ruffian more off his guard, or less capable of
protecting himself and his possessions, than in these first hours of
relaxation and inevitable debauchery for which Raffles had waited with
characteristic foresight. Nor was the terrible Barney likely to be
more abstemious for signal punishment sustained in a far from bloodless
victory. Then what could be the meaning of that sickening and most
suggestive thud? Could it be the champion himself who had received the
<i>coup de grâce</i> in his cups? Raffles was the very man to administer
it—but he had not talked like that man through the telephone.</p>
<p>And yet—and yet—what else could have happened? I must have asked
myself the question between each and all of the above reflections, made
partly as I dressed and partly in the hansom on the way to Half-moon
Street. It was as yet the only question in my mind. You must know
what your emergency is before you can decide how to cope with it; and
to this day I sometimes tremble to think of the rashly direct method by
which I set about obtaining the requisite information. I drove every
yard of the way to the pugilist's very door. You will remember that I
had been dining with Swigger Morrison at his club.</p>
<p>Yet at the last I had a rough idea of what I meant to say when the door
was opened. It seemed almost probable that the tragic end of our talk
over the telephone had been caused by the sudden arrival and as sudden
violence of Barney Maguire. In that case I was resolved to tell him
that Raffles and I had made a bet about his burglar trap, and that I
had come to see who had won. I might or might not confess that Raffles
had rung me out of bed to this end. If, however, I was wrong about
Maguire, and he had not come home at all, then my action would depend
upon the menial who answered my reckless ring. But it should result in
the rescue of Raffles by hook or crook.</p>
<p>I had the more time to come to some decision, since I rang and rang in
vain. The hall, indeed, was in darkness; but when I peeped through the
letter-box I could see a faint beam of light from the back room. That
was the room in which Maguire kept his trophies and set his trap. All
was quiet in the house: could they have haled the intruder to Vine
Street in the short twenty minutes which it had taken me to dress and
to drive to the spot? That was an awful thought; but even as I hoped
against hope, and rang once more, speculation and suspense were cut
short in the last fashion to be foreseen.</p>
<p>A brougham was coming sedately down the street from Piccadilly; to my
horror, it stopped behind me as I peered once more through the
letter-box, and out tumbled the dishevelled prizefighter and two
companions. I was nicely caught in my turn. There was a lamp-post
right opposite the door, and I can still see the three of them
regarding me in its light. The pugilist had been at least a fine
figure of a bully and a braggart when I saw him before his fight; now
he had a black eye and a bloated lip, hat on the back of his head, and
made-up tie under one ear. His companions were his sallow little
Yankee secretary, whose name I really forget, but whom I met with
Maguire at the Boxing Club, and a very grand person in a second skin of
shimmering sequins.</p>
<p>I can neither forget nor report the terms in which Barney Maguire asked
me who I was and what I was doing there. Thanks, however, to Swigger
Morrison's hospitality, I readily reminded him of our former meeting,
and of more that I only recalled as the words were in my mouth.</p>
<p>"You'll remember Raffles," said I, "if you don't remember me. You
showed us your trophies the other night, and asked us both to look you
up at any hour of the day or night after the fight."</p>
<p>I was going on to add that I had expected to find Raffles there before
me, to settle a wager that we had made about the man-trap. But the
indiscretion was interrupted by Maguire himself, whose dreadful fist
became a hand that gripped mine with brute fervor, while with the other
he clouted me on the back.</p>
<p>"You don't say!" he cried. "I took you for some darned crook, but now
I remember you perfectly. If you hadn't 've spoke up slick I'd have
bu'st your face in, sonny. I would, sure! Come right in, and have a
drink to show there's—Jeehoshaphat!"</p>
<p>The secretary had turned the latch-key in the door, only to be hauled
back by the collar as the door stood open, and the light from the inner
room was seen streaming upon the banisters at the foot of the narrow
stairs.</p>
<p>"A light in my den," said Maguire in a mighty whisper, "and the blamed
door open, though the key's in my pocket and we left it locked! Talk
about crooks, eh? Holy smoke, how I hope we've landed one alive! You
ladies and gentlemen, lay round where you are, while I see."</p>
<p>And the hulking figure advanced on tiptoe, like a performing elephant,
until just at the open door, when for a second we saw his left
revolving like a piston and his head thrown back at its fighting angle.
But in another second his fists were hands again, and Maguire was
rubbing them together as he stood shaking with laughter in the light of
the open door.</p>
<p>"Walk up!" he cried, as he beckoned to us three. "Walk up and see one
o' their blamed British crooks laid as low as the blamed carpet, and
nailed as tight!"</p>
<p>Imagine my feelings on the mat! The sallow secretary went first; the
sequins glittered at his heels, and I must own that for one base moment
I was on the brink of bolting through the street door. It had never
been shut behind us. I shut it myself in the end. Yet it was small
credit to me that I actually remained on the same side of the door as
Raffles.</p>
<p>"Reel home-grown, low-down, unwashed Whitechapel!" I had heard Maguire
remark within. "Blamed if our Bowery boys ain't cock-angels to scum
like this. Ah, you biter, I wouldn't soil my knuckles on your ugly
face; but if I had my thick boots on I'd dance the soul out of your
carcass for two cents!"</p>
<p>After this it required less courage to join the others in the inner
room; and for some moments even I failed to identify the truly
repulsive object about which I found them grouped. There was no false
hair upon the face, but it was as black as any sweep's. The clothes,
on the other hand, were new to me, though older and more pestiferous in
themselves than most worn by Raffles for professional purposes. And at
first, as I say, I was far from sure whether it was Raffles at all; but
I remembered the crash that cut short our talk over the telephone; and
this inanimate heap of rags was lying directly underneath a wall
instrument, with the receiver dangling over him.</p>
<p>"Think you know him?" asked the sallow secretary, as I stooped and
peered with my heart in my boots.</p>
<p>"Good Lord, no! I only wanted to see if he was dead," I explained,
having satisfied myself that it was really Raffles, and that Raffles
was really insensible. "But what on earth has happened?" I asked in
my turn.</p>
<p>"That's what I want to know," whined the person in sequins, who had
contributed various ejaculations unworthy of report, and finally
subsided behind an ostentatious fan.</p>
<p>"I should judge," observed the secretary, "that it's for Mr. Maguire to
say, or not to say, just as he darn pleases."</p>
<p>But the celebrated Barney stood upon a Persian hearth-rug, beaming upon
us all in a triumph too delicious for immediate translation into words.
The room was furnished as a study, and most artistically furnished, if
you consider outlandish shapes in fumed oak artistic. There was nothing
of the traditional prize-fighter about Barney Maguire, except his
vocabulary and his lower jaw. I had seen over his house already, and
it was fitted and decorated throughout by a high-art firm which
exhibits just such a room as that which was the scene of our
tragedietta. The person in the sequins lay glistening like a landed
salmon in a quaint chair of enormous nails and tapestry compact. The
secretary leaned against an escritoire with huge hinges of beaten
metal. The pugilist's own background presented an elaborate scheme of
oak and tiles, with inglenooks green from the joiner, and a china
cupboard with leaded panes behind his bullet head. And his bloodshot
eyes rolled with rich delight from the decanter and glasses on the
octagonal table to another decanter in the quaintest and craftiest of
revolving spirit tables.</p>
<p>"Isn't it bully?" asked the prize-fighter, smiling on us each in turn,
with his black and bloodshot eyes and his bloated lip. "To think that
I've only to invent a trap to catch a crook, for a blamed crook to walk
right into! You, Mr. Man," and he nodded his great head at me, "you'll
recollect me telling you that I'd gotten one when you come in that
night with the other sport? Say, pity he's not with you now; he was a
good boy, and I liked him a lot; but he wanted to know too much, and I
guess he'd got to want. But I'm liable to tell you now, or else bu'st.
See that decanter on the table?"</p>
<p>"I was just looking at it," said the person in sequins. "You don't
know what a turn I've had, or you'd offer me a little something."</p>
<p>"You shall have a little something in a minute," rejoined Maguire. "But
if you take a little anything out of that decanter, you'll collapse
like our friend upon the floor."</p>
<p>"Good heavens!" I cried out, with involuntary indignation, and his fell
scheme broke upon me in a clap.</p>
<p>"Yes, <i>sir!</i>" said Maguire, fixing me with his bloodshot orbs. "My trap
for crooks and cracksmen is a bottle of hocussed whiskey, and I guess
that's it on the table, with the silver label around its neck. Now look
at this other decanter, without any label at all; but for that they're
the dead spit of each other. I'll put them side by side, so you can
see. It isn't only the decanters, but the liquor looks the same in
both, and tastes so you wouldn't know the difference till you woke up
in your tracks. I got the poison from a blamed Indian away west, and
it's ruther ticklish stuff. So I keep the label around the
trap-bottle, and only leave it out nights. That's the idea, and that's
all there is to it," added Maguire, putting the labelled decanter back
in the stand. "But I figure it's enough for ninety-nine crooks out of
a hundred, and nineteen out of twenty 'll have their liquor before they
go to work."</p>
<p>"I wouldn't figure on that," observed the secretary, with a downward
glance as though at the prostrate Raffles. "Have you looked to see if
the trophies are all safe?"</p>
<p>"Not yet," said Maguire, with a glance at the pseudo-antique cabinet in
which he kept them.</p>
<p>"Then you can save yourself the trouble," rejoined the secretary, as he dived
under the octagonal table, and came up with a small black bag that I knew at a
glance. It was the one that Raffles had used for heavy plunder ever since I
had known him.</p>
<p>The bag was so heavy now that the secretary used both hands to get it
on the table. In another moment he had taken out the jewelled belt
presented to Maguire by the State of Nevada, the solid silver statuette
of himself, and the gold brick from the citizens of Sacramento.</p>
<p>Either the sight of his treasures, so nearly lost, or the feeling that
the thief had dared to tamper with them after all, suddenly infuriated
Maguire to such an extent that he had bestowed a couple of brutal kicks
upon the senseless form of Raffles before the secretary and I could
interfere.</p>
<p>"Play light, Mr. Maguire!" cried the sallow secretary. "The man's
drugged, as well as down."</p>
<p>"He'll be lucky if he ever gets up, blight and blister him!"</p>
<p>"I should judge it about time to telephone for the police."</p>
<p>"Not till I've done with him. Wait till he comes to! I guess I'll
punch his face into a jam pudding! He shall wash down his teeth with
his blood before the coppers come in for what's left!"</p>
<p>"You make me feel quite ill," complained the grand lady in the chair.
"I wish you'd give me a little something, and not be more vulgar than
you can 'elp."</p>
<p>"Help yourself," said Maguire, ungallantly, "and don't talk through
your hat. Say, what's the matter with the 'phone?"</p>
<p>The secretary had picked up the dangling receiver.</p>
<p>"It looks to me," said he, "as though the crook had rung up somebody
before he went off."</p>
<p>I turned and assisted the grand lady to the refreshment that she craved.</p>
<p>"Like his cheek!" Maguire thundered. "But who in blazes should <i>he</i> ring
up?"</p>
<p>"It'll all come out," said the secretary. "They'll tell us at the
central, and we shall find out fast enough."</p>
<p>"It don't matter now," said Maguire. "Let's have a drink and then
rouse the devil up."</p>
<p>But now I was shaking in my shoes. I saw quite clearly what this
meant. Even if I rescued Raffles for the time being, the police would
promptly ascertain that it was I who had been rung up by the burglar,
and the fact of my not having said a word about it would be directly
damning to me, if in the end it did not incriminate us both. It made
me quite faint to feel that we might escape the Scylla of our present
peril and yet split on the Charybdis of circumstantial evidence. Yet I
could see no middle course of conceivable safety, if I held my tongue
another moment. So I spoke up desperately, with the rash resolution
which was the novel feature of my whole conduct on this occasion. But
any sheep would be resolute and rash after dining with Swigger Morrison
at his club.</p>
<p>"I wonder if he rang <i>me</i> up?" I exclaimed, as if inspired.</p>
<p>"You, sonny?" echoed Maguire, decanter in hand. "What in hell could he
know about you?"</p>
<p>"Or what could you know about him?" amended the secretary, fixing me
with eyes like drills.</p>
<p>"Nothing," I admitted, regretting my temerity with all my heart. "But
some one did ring me up about an hour ago. I thought it was Raffles.
I told you I expected to find him here, if you remember."</p>
<p>"But I don't see what that's got to do with the crook," pursued the
secretary, with his relentless eyes boring deeper and deeper into mine.</p>
<p>"No more do I," was my miserable reply. But there was a certain
comfort in his words, and some simultaneous promise in the quantity of
spirit which Maguire splashed into his glass.</p>
<p>"Were you cut off sudden?" asked the secretary, reaching for the
decanter, as the three of us sat round the octagonal table.</p>
<p>"So suddenly," I replied, "that I never knew who it was who rang me up.
No, thank you—not any for me."</p>
<p>"What!" cried Maguire, raising a depressed head suddenly. "You won't
have a drink in my house? Take care, young man. That's not being a
good boy!"</p>
<p>"But I've been dining out," I expostulated, "and had my whack. I
really have."</p>
<p>Barney Maguire smote the table with terrific fist.</p>
<p>"Say, sonny, I like you a lot," said he. "But I shan't like you any if
you're not a good boy!"</p>
<p>"Very well, very well," I said hurriedly. "One finger, if I must."</p>
<p>And the secretary helped me to not more than two.</p>
<p>"Why should it have been your friend Raffles?" he inquired, returning
remorselessly to the charge, while Maguire roared "Drink up!" and then
drooped once more.</p>
<p>"I was half asleep," I answered, "and he was the first person who
occurred to me. We are both on the telephone, you see. And we had
made a bet—"</p>
<p>The glass was at my lips, but I was able to set it down untouched.
Maguire's huge jaw had dropped upon his spreading shirt-front, and
beyond him I saw the person in sequins fast asleep in the artistic
armchair.</p>
<p>"What bet?" asked a voice with a sudden start in it. The secretary was
blinking as he drained his glass.</p>
<p>"About the very thing we've just had explained to us," said I, watching
my man intently as I spoke. "I made sure it was a man-trap. Raffles
thought it must be something else. We had a tremendous argument about
it. Raffles said it wasn't a man-trap. I said it was. We had a bet
about it in the end. I put my money on the man-trap. Raffles put his
upon the other thing. And Raffles was right—it wasn't a man-trap.
But it's every bit as good—every little bit—and the whole boiling of
you are caught in it except me!"</p>
<p>I sank my voice with the last sentence, but I might just as well have
raised it instead. I had said the same thing over and over again to
see whether the wilful tautology would cause the secretary to open his
eyes. It seemed to have had the very opposite effect. His head fell
forward on the table, with never a quiver at the blow, never a twitch
when I pillowed it upon one of his own sprawling arms. And there sat
Maguire bolt upright, but for the jowl upon his shirt-front, while the
sequins twinkled in a regular rise and fall upon the reclining form of
the lady in the fanciful chair. All three were sound asleep, by what
accident or by whose design I did not pause to inquire; it was enough
to ascertain the fact beyond all chance of error.</p>
<p>I turned my attention to Raffles last of all. There was the other side
of the medal. Raffles was still sleeping as sound as the enemy—or so
I feared at first I shook him gently: he made no sign. I introduced
vigor into the process: he muttered incoherently. I caught and twisted
an unresisting wrist—and at that he yelped profanely. But it was many
and many an anxious moment before his blinking eyes knew mine.</p>
<p>"Bunny!" he yawned, and nothing more until his position came back to
him. "So you came to me," he went on, in a tone that thrilled me with
its affectionate appreciation, "as I knew you would! Have they turned
up yet? They will any minute, you know; there's not one to lose."</p>
<p>"No, they won't, old man!" I whispered. And he sat up and saw the
comatose trio for himself.</p>
<p>Raffles seemed less amazed at the result than I had been as a puzzled
witness of the process; on the other hand, I had never seen anything
quite so exultant as the smile that broke through his blackened
countenance like a light. It was all obviously no great surprise, and
no puzzle at all, to Raffles.</p>
<p>"How much did they have, Bunny?" were his first whispered words.</p>
<p>"Maguire a good three fingers, and the others at least two."</p>
<p>"Then we needn't lower our voices, and we needn't walk on our toes.
Eheu! I dreamed somebody was kicking me in the ribs, and I believe it
must have been true."</p>
<p>He had risen with a hand to his side and a wry look on his sweep's face.</p>
<p>"You can guess which of them it was," said I. "The beast is jolly well
served!"</p>
<p>And I shook my fist in the paralytic face of the most brutal bruiser of
his time.</p>
<p>"He is safe till the forenoon, unless they bring a doctor to him," said
Raffles. "I don't suppose we could rouse him now if we tried. How much
of the fearsome stuff do you suppose <i>I</i> took? About a tablespoonful! I
guessed what it was, and couldn't resist making sure; the minute I was
satisfied, I changed the label and the position of the two decanters,
little thinking I should stay to see the fun; but in another minute I
could hardly keep my eyes open. I realized then that I was fairly
poisoned with some subtle drug. If I left the house at all in that
state, I must leave the spoil behind, or be found drunk in the gutter
with my head on the swag itself. In any case I should have been picked
up and run in, and that might have led to anything."</p>
<p>"So you rang me up!"</p>
<p>"It was my last brilliant inspiration—a sort of flash in the brain-pan
before the end—and I remember very little about it. I was more asleep
than awake at the time."</p>
<p>"You sounded like it, Raffles, now that one has the clue."</p>
<p>"I can't remember a word I said, or what was the end of it, Bunny."</p>
<p>"You fell in a heap before you came to the end."</p>
<p>"You didn't hear that through the telephone?"</p>
<p>"As though we had been in the same room: only I thought it was Maguire
who had stolen a march on you and knocked you out."</p>
<p>I had never seen Raffles more interested and impressed; but at this
point his smile altered, his eyes softened, and I found my hand in his.</p>
<p>"You thought that, and yet you came like a shot to do battle for my
body with Barney Maguire! Jack-the-Giant-killer wasn't in it with you,
Bunny!"</p>
<p>"It was no credit to me—it was rather the other thing," said I,
remembering my rashness and my luck, and confessing both in a breath.
"You know old Swigger Morrison?" I added in final explanation. "I had
been dining with him at his club!"</p>
<p>Raffles shook his long old head. And the kindly light in his eyes was
still my infinite reward.</p>
<p>"I don't care," said he, "how deeply you had been dining: _in vino
veritas_, Bunny, and your pluck would always out! I have never doubted
it, and I never shall. In fact, I rely on nothing else to get us out
of this mess."</p>
<p>My face must have fallen, as my heart sank at these words. I had said
to myself that we were out of the mess already—that we had merely to
make a clean escape from the house—now the easiest thing in the world.
But as I looked at Raffles, and as Raffles looked at me, on the
threshold of the room where the three sleepers slept on without sound
or movement, I grasped the real problem that lay before us. It was
twofold; and the funny thing was that I had seen both horns of the
dilemma for myself, before Raffles came to his senses. But with
Raffles in his right mind, I had ceased to apply my own, or to carry my
share of our common burden another inch. It had been an unconscious
withdrawal on my part, an instinctive tribute to my leader; but I was
sufficiently ashamed of it as we stood and faced the problem in each
other's eyes.</p>
<p>"If we simply cleared out," continued Raffles, "you would be
incriminated in the first place as my accomplice, and once they had you
they would have a compass with the needle pointing straight to me.
They mustn't have either of us, Bunny, or they will get us both. And
for my part they may as well!"</p>
<p>I echoed a sentiment that was generosity itself in Raffles, but in my
case a mere truism.</p>
<p>"It's easy enough for me," he went on. "I am a common house-breaker,
and I escape. They don't know me from Noah. But they do know you; and
how do you come to let me escape? What has happened to you, Bunny?
That's the crux. What could have happened after they all dropped off?"
And for a minute Raffles frowned and smiled like a sensation novelist
working out a plot; then the light broke, and transfigured him through
his burnt cork. "I've got it, Bunny!" he exclaimed. "You took some of
the stuff yourself, though of course not nearly so much as they did.</p>
<p>"Splendid!" I cried. "They really were pressing it upon me at the end,
and I did say it must be very little."</p>
<p>"You dozed off in your turn, but you were naturally the first to come
to yourself. I had flown; so had the gold brick, the jewelled belt,
and the silver statuette. You tried to rouse the others. You couldn't
succeed; nor would you if you did try. So what did you do? What's the
only really innocent thing you could do in the circumstances?"</p>
<p>"Go for the police," I suggested dubiously, little relishing the
prospect.</p>
<p>"There's a telephone installed for the purpose," said Raffles. "I
should ring them up, if I were you. Try not to look blue about it,
Bunny. They're quite the nicest fellows in the world, and what you
have to tell them is a mere microbe to the camels I've made them
swallow without a grain of salt. It's really the most convincing story
one could conceive; but unfortunately there's another point which will
take more explaining away."</p>
<p>And even Raffles looked grave enough as I nodded.</p>
<p>"You mean that they'll find out you rang me up?"</p>
<p>"They may," said Raffles. "I see that I managed to replace the
receiver all right. But still—they may."</p>
<p>"I'm afraid they will," said I, uncomfortably. "I'm very much afraid I
gave something of the kind away. You see, you had <i>not</i> replaced the
receiver; it was dangling over you where you lay. This very question
came up, and the brutes themselves seemed so quick to see its
possibilities that I thought best to take the bull by the horns and own
that I had been rung up by somebody. To be absolutely honest, I even
went so far as to say I thought it was Raffles!"</p>
<p>"You didn't, Bunny!"</p>
<p>"What could I say? I was obliged to think of somebody, and I saw they
were not going to recognize you. So I put up a yarn about a wager we
had made about this very trap of Maguire's. You see, Raffles, I've
never properly told you how I got in, and there's no time now; but the
first thing I had said was that I half expected to find you here before
me. That was in case they spotted you at once. But it made all that
part about the telephone fit in rather well."</p>
<p>"I should think it did, Bunny," murmured Raffles, in a tone that added
sensibly to my reward. "I couldn't have done better myself, and you
will forgive my saying that you have never in your life done half so
well. Talk about that crack you gave me on the head! You have made it
up to me a hundredfold by all you have done to-night. But the bother
of it is that there's still so much to do, and to hit upon, and so
precious little time for thought as well as action."</p>
<p>I took out my watch and showed it to Raffles without a word. It was
three o'clock in the morning, and the latter end of March. In little
more than an hour there would be dim daylight in the streets. Raffles
roused himself from a reverie with sudden decision.</p>
<p>"There's only one thing for it, Bunny," said he. "We must trust each
other and divide the labor. You ring up the police, and leave the rest
to me."</p>
<p>"You haven't hit upon any reason for the sort of burglar they think you
were, ringing up the kind of man they know I am?"</p>
<p>"Not yet, Bunny, but I shall. It may not be wanted for a day or so,
and after all it isn't for you to give the explanation. It would be
highly suspicious if you did."</p>
<p>"So it would," I agreed.</p>
<p>"Then will you trust me to hit on something—if possible before
morning—in any case by the time it's wanted? I won't fail you, Bunny.
You must see how I can never, never fail you after to-night!"</p>
<p>That settled it. I gripped his hand without another word, and remained
on guard over the three sleepers while Raffles stole upstairs. I have
since learned that there were servants at the top of the house, and in
the basement a man, who actually heard some of our proceedings! But he
was mercifully too accustomed to nocturnal orgies, and those of a far
more uproarious character, to appear unless summoned to the scene. I
believe he heard Raffles leave. But no secret was made of his exit: he
let himself out and told me afterward that the first person he
encountered in the street was the constable on the beat. Raffles
wished him good-morning, as well he might; for he had been upstairs to
wash his face and hands; and in the prize-fighter's great hat and fur
coat he might have marched round Scotland Yard itself, in spite of his
having the gold brick from Sacramento in one pocket, the silver
statuette of Maguire in the other, and round his waist the jewelled
belt presented to that worthy by the State of Nevada.</p>
<p>My immediate part was a little hard after the excitement of those small
hours. I will only say that we had agreed that it would be wisest for
me to lie like a log among the rest for half an hour, before staggering
to my feet and rousing house and police; and that in that half-hour
Barney Maguire crashed to the floor, without waking either himself or
his companions, though not without bringing my beating heart into the
very roof of my mouth.</p>
<p>It was daybreak when I gave the alarm with bell and telephone. In a
few minutes we had the house congested with dishevelled domestics,
irascible doctors, and arbitrary minions of the law. If I told my
story once, I told it a dozen times, and all on an empty stomach. But
it was certainly a most plausible and consistent tale, even without
that confirmation which none of the other victims was as yet
sufficiently recovered to supply. And in the end I was permitted to
retire from the scene until required to give further information, or to
identify the prisoner whom the good police confidently expected to make
before the day was out.</p>
<p>I drove straight to the flat. The porter flew to help me out of my
hansom. His face alarmed me more than any I had left in Half-moon
Street. It alone might have spelled my ruin.</p>
<p>"Your flat's been entered in the night, sir," he cried. "The thieves
have taken everything they could lay hands on."</p>
<p>"Thieves in my flat!" I ejaculated aghast. There were one or two
incriminating possessions up there, as well as at the Albany.</p>
<p>"The door's been forced with a jimmy," said the porter. "It was the
milkman who found it out. There's a constable up there now."</p>
<p>A constable poking about in my flat of all others! I rushed upstairs
without waiting for the lift. The invader was moistening his pencil
between laborious notes in a fat pocketbook; he had penetrated no
further than the forced door. I dashed past him in a fever. I kept <i>my</i>
trophies in a wardrobe drawer specially fitted with a Bramah lock. The
lock was broken—the drawer void.</p>
<p>"Something valuable, sir?" inquired the intrusive constable at my heels.</p>
<p>"Yes, indeed—some old family silver," I answered. It was quite true.
But the family was not mine.</p>
<p>And not till then did the truth flash across my mind. Nothing else of
value had been taken. But there was a meaningless litter in all the
rooms. I turned to the porter, who had followed me up from the street;
it was his wife who looked after the flat.</p>
<p>"Get rid of this idiot as quick as you can," I whispered. "I'm going
straight to Scotland Yard myself. Let your wife tidy the place while
I'm gone, and have the lock mended before she leaves. I'm going as I
am, this minute!"</p>
<p>And go I did, in the first hansom I could find—but not straight to
Scotland Yard. I stopped the cab in Picadilly on the way.</p>
<p>Old Raffles opened his own door to me. I cannot remember finding him
fresher, more immaculate, more delightful to behold in every way.
Could I paint a picture of Raffles with something other than my pen, it
would be as I saw him that bright March morning, at his open door in
the Albany, a trim, slim figure in matutinal gray, cool and gay and
breezy as incarnate spring.</p>
<p>"What on earth did you do it for?" I asked within.</p>
<p>"It was the only solution," he answered, handing me the cigarettes. "I
saw it the moment I got outside."</p>
<p>"I don't see it yet."</p>
<p>"Why should a burglar call an innocent gentleman away from home?"</p>
<p>"That's what we couldn't make out."</p>
<p>"I tell you I got it directly I had left you. He called you away in
order to burgle you too, of course!"</p>
<p>And Raffles stood smiling upon me in all his incomparable radiance and
audacity.</p>
<p>"But why me?" I asked. "Why on earth should he burgle <i>me?</i>"</p>
<p>"My dear Bunny, we must leave something to the imagination of the
police. But we will assist them to a fact or two in due season. It was
the dead of night when Maguire first took us to his house; it was at
the Imperial Boxing Club we met him; and you meet queer fish at the
Imperial Boxing Club. You may remember that he telephoned to his man
to prepare supper for us, and that you and he discussed telephones and
treasure as we marched through the midnight streets. He was certainly
bucking about his trophies, and for the sake of the argument you will
be good enough to admit that you probably bucked about yours. What
happens? You are overheard; you are followed; you are worked into the
same scheme, and robbed on the same night."</p>
<p>"And you really think this will meet the case?"</p>
<p>"I am quite certain of it, Bunny, so far as it rests wit us to meet the
case at all."</p>
<p>"Then give me another cigarette, my dear fellow, and let me push on to
Scotland Yard."</p>
<p>Raffles held up both hands in admiring horror.</p>
<p>"Scotland Yard!"</p>
<p>"To give a false description of what you took from that drawer in my
wardrobe."</p>
<p>"A false description! Bunny, you have no more to learn from me. Time
was when I wouldn't have let you go there without me to retrieve a lost
umbrella—let alone a lost cause!"</p>
<p>And for once I was not sorry for Raffles to have the last unworthy
word, as he stood once more at his outer door and gayly waved me down
the stairs.</p>
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