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<h2> IV. MANNERS. </h2>
<p>HALF the world, it is said, knows not how the other half live. Our
Exploring Expedition saw the Feejee islanders getting their dinner off
human bones; and they are said to eat their own wives and children. The
husbandry of the modern inhabitants of Gournou (west of old Thebes) is
philosophical to a fault. To set up their housekeeping nothing is
requisite but two or three earthen pots, a stone to grind meal, and a mat
which is the bed. The house, namely a tomb, is ready without rent or
taxes. No rain can pass through the roof, and there is no door, for there
is no want of one, as there is nothing to lose. If the house do not please
them, they walk out and enter another, as there are several hundreds at
their command. "It is somewhat singular," adds Belzoni, to whom we owe
this account, "to talk of happiness among people who live in sepulchres,
among the corpses and rags of an ancient nation which they know nothing
of." In the deserts of Borgoo the rock-Tibboos still dwell in caves, like
cliff-swallows, and the language of these negroes is compared by their
neighbors to the shrieking of bats and to the whistling of birds. Again,
the Bornoos have no proper names; individuals are called after their
height, thickness, or other accidental quality, and have nicknames merely.
But the salt, the dates, the ivory, and the gold, for which these horrible
regions are visited, find their way into countries where the purchaser and
consumer can hardly be ranked in one race with these cannibals and
man-stealers; countries where man serves himself with metals, wood, stone,
glass, gum, cotton, silk, and wool; honors himself with architecture;
writes laws, and contrives to execute his will through the hands of many
nations; and, especially, establishes a select society, running through
all the countries of intelligent men, a self-constituted aristocracy, or
fraternity of the best, which, without written law or exact usage of any
kind, perpetuates itself, colonizes every new-planted island and adopts
and makes its own whatever personal beauty or extraordinary native
endowment anywhere appears.</p>
<p>What fact more conspicuous in modern history than the creation of the
gentleman? Chivalry is that, and loyalty is that, and, in English
literature, half the drama, and all the novels, from Sir Philip Sidney to
Sir Walter Scott, paint this figure. The word gentleman, which, like the
word Christian, must hereafter characterize the present and the few
preceding centuries by the importance attached to it, is a homage to
personal and incommunicable properties. Frivolous and fantastic additions
have got associated with the name, but the steady interest of mankind in
it must be attributed to the valuable properties which it designates. An
element which unites all the most forcible persons of every country; makes
them intelligible and agreeable to each other, and is somewhat so precise
that it is at once felt if an individual lack the masonic sign,—cannot
be any casual product, but must be an average result of the character and
faculties universally found in men. It seems a certain permanent average;
as the atmosphere is a permanent composition, whilst so many gases are
combined only to be decompounded. Comme il faut, is the Frenchman's
description of good Society: as we must be. It is a spontaneous fruit of
talents and feelings of precisely that class who have most vigor, who take
the lead in the world of this hour, and though far from pure, far from
constituting the gladdest and highest tone of human feeling, is as good as
the whole society permits it to be. It is made of the spirit, more than of
the talent of men, and is a compound result into which every great force
enters as an ingredient, namely virtue, wit, beauty, wealth, and power.</p>
<p>There is something equivocal in all the words in use to express the
excellence of manners and social cultivation, because the quantities are
fluxional, and the last effect is assumed by the senses as the cause. The
word gentleman has not any correlative abstract to express the quality.
Gentility is mean, and gentilesse is obsolete. But we must keep alive in
the vernacular the distinction between fashion, a word of narrow and often
sinister meaning, and the heroic character which the gentleman imports.
The usual words, however, must be respected; they will be found to contain
the root of the matter. The point of distinction in all this class of
names, as courtesy, chivalry, fashion, and the like, is that the flower
and fruit, not the grain of the tree, are contemplated. It is beauty which
is the aim this time, and not worth. The result is now in question,
although our words intimate well enough the popular feeling that the
appearance supposes a substance. The gentleman is a man of truth, lord of
his own actions, and expressing that lordship in his behavior, not in any
manner dependent and servile, either on persons, or opinions, or
possessions. Beyond this fact of truth and real force, the word denotes
good-nature or benevolence: manhood first, and then gentleness. The
popular notion certainly adds a condition of ease and fortune; but that is
a natural result of personal force and love, that they should possess and
dispense the goods of the world. In times of violence, every eminent
person must fall in with many opportunities to approve his stoutness and
worth; therefore every man's name that emerged at all from the mass in the
feudal ages, rattles in our ear like a flourish of trumpets. But personal
force never goes out of fashion. That is still paramount to-day, and in
the moving crowd of good society the men of valor and reality are known
and rise to their natural place. The competition is transferred from war
to politics and trade, but the personal force appears readily enough in
these new arenas.</p>
<p>Power first, or no leading class. In politics and in trade, bruisers and
pirates are of better promise than talkers and clerks. God knows that all
sorts of gentlemen knock at the door; but whenever used in strictness and
with any emphasis, the name will be found to point at original energy. It
describes a man standing in his own right and working after untaught
methods. In a good lord there must first be a good animal, at least to the
extent of yielding the incomparable advantage of animal spirits. The
ruling class must have more, but they must have these, giving in every
company the sense of power, which makes things easy to be done which daunt
the wise. The society of the energetic class, in their friendly and
festive meetings, is full of courage and of attempts which intimidate the
pale scholar. The courage which girls exhibit is like a battle of Lundy's
Lane, or a sea-fight. The intellect relies on memory to make some supplies
to face these extemporaneous squadrons. But memory is a base mendicant
with basket and badge, in the presence of these sudden masters. The rulers
of society must be up to the work of the world, and equal to their
versatile office: men of the right Caesarian pattern, who have great range
of affinity. I am far from believing the timid maxim of Lord Falkland
("that for ceremony there must go two to it; since a bold fellow will go
through the cunningest forms"), and am of opinion that the gentleman is
the bold fellow whose forms are not to be broken through; and only that
plenteous nature is rightful master which is the complement of whatever
person it converses with. My gentleman gives the law where he is; he will
outpray saints in chapel, outgeneral veterans in the field, and outshine
all courtesy in the hall. He is good company for pirates and good with
academicians; so that it is useless to fortify yourself against him; he
has the private entrance to all minds, and I could as easily exclude
myself, as him. The famous gentlemen of Asia and Europe have been of this
strong type; Saladin, Sapor, the Cid, Julius Caesar, Scipio, Alexander,
Pericles, and the lordliest personages. They sat very carelessly in their
chairs, and were too excellent themselves, to value any condition at a
high rate.</p>
<p>A plentiful fortune is reckoned necessary, in the popular judgment, to the
completion of this man of the world; and it is a material deputy which
walks through the dance which the first has led. Money is not essential,
but this wide affinity is, which transcends the habits of clique and caste
and makes itself felt by men of all classes. If the aristocrat is only
valid in fashionable circles and not with truckmen, he will never be a
leader in fashion; and if the man of the people cannot speak on equal
terms with the gentleman, so that the gentleman shall perceive that he is
already really of his own order, he is not to be feared. Diogenes,
Socrates, and Epaminondas, are gentlemen of the best blood who have chosen
the condition of poverty when that of wealth was equally open to them. I
use these old names, but the men I speak of are my contemporaries. Fortune
will not supply to every generation one of these well-appointed knights,
but every collection of men furnishes some example of the class; and the
politics of this country, and the trade of every town, are controlled by
these hardy and irresponsible doers, who have invention to take the lead,
and a broad sympathy which puts them in fellowship with crowds, and makes
their action popular.</p>
<p>The manners of this class are observed and caught with devotion by men of
taste. The association of these masters with each other and with men
intelligent of their merits, is mutually agreeable and stimulating. The
good forms, the happiest expressions of each, are repeated and adopted. By
swift consent everything superfluous is dropped, everything graceful is
renewed. Fine manners show themselves formidable to the uncultivated man.
They are a subtler science of defence to parry and intimidate; but once
matched by the skill of the other party, they drop the point of the sword,—points
and fences disappear, and the youth finds himself in a more transparent
atmosphere, wherein life is a less troublesome game, and not a
misunderstanding rises between the players. Manners aim to facilitate
life, to get rid of impediments and bring the man pure to energize. They
aid our dealing and conversation as a railway aids travelling, by getting
rid of all avoidable obstructions of the road and leaving nothing to be
conquered but pure space. These forms very soon become fixed, and a fine
sense of propriety is cultivated with the more heed that it becomes a
badge of social and civil distinctions. Thus grows up Fashion, an
equivocal semblance, the most puissant, the most fantastic and frivolous,
the most feared and followed, and which morals and violence assault in
vain.</p>
<p>There exists a strict relation between the class of power and the
exclusive and polished circles. The last are always filled or filling from
the first. The strong men usually give some allowance even to the
petulances of fashion, for that affinity they find in it. Napoleon, child
of the revolution, destroyer of the old noblesse, never ceased to court
the Faubourg St. Germain; doubtless with the feeling that fashion is a
homage to men of his stamp. Fashion, though in a strange way, represents
all manly virtue. It is virtue gone to seed: it is a kind of posthumous
honor. It does not often caress the great, but the children of the great:
it is a hall of the Past. It usually sets its face against the great of
this hour. Great men are not commonly in its halls; they are absent in the
field: they are working, not triumphing. Fashion is made up of their
children; of those who through the value and virtue of somebody, have
acquired lustre to their name, marks of distinction, means of cultivation
and generosity, and, in their physical organization a certain health and
excellence which secures to them, if not the highest power to work, yet
high power to enjoy. The class of power, the working heroes, the Cortez,
the Nelson, the Napoleon, see that this is the festivity and permanent
celebration of such as they; that fashion is funded talent; is Mexico,
Marengo, and Trafalgar beaten out thin; that the brilliant names of
fashion run back to just such busy names as their own, fifty or sixty
years ago. They are the sowers, their sons shall be the reapers, and their
sons, in the ordinary course of things, must yield the possession of the
harvest to new competitors with keener eyes and stronger frames. The city
is recruited from the country. In the year 1805, it is said, every
legitimate monarch in Europe was imbecile. The city would have died out,
rotted, and exploded, long ago, but that it was reinforced from the
fields. It is only country which came to town day before yesterday that is
city and court today.</p>
<p>Aristocracy and fashion are certain inevitable results. These mutual
selections are indestructible. If they provoke anger in the least favored
class, and the excluded majority revenge themselves on the excluding
minority by the strong hand and kill them, at once a new class finds
itself at the top, as certainly as cream rises in a bowl of milk: and if
the people should destroy class after class, until two men only were left,
one of these would be the leader and would be involuntarily served and
copied by the other. You may keep this minority out of sight and out of
mind, but it is tenacious of life, and is one of the estates of the realm.
I am the more struck with this tenacity, when I see its work. It respects
the administration of such unimportant matters, that we should not look
for any durability in its rule. We sometimes meet men under some strong
moral influence, as a patriotic, a literary, a religious movement, and
feel that the moral sentiment rules man and nature. We think all other
distinctions and ties will be slight and fugitive, this of caste or
fashion for example; yet come from year to year and see how permanent that
is, in this Boston or New York life of man, where too it has not the least
countenance from the law of the land. Not in Egypt or in India a firmer or
more impassable line. Here are associations whose ties go over and under
and through it, a meeting of merchants, a military corps, a college class,
a fire-club, a professional association, a political, a religious
convention;—the persons seem to draw inseparably near; yet, that
assembly once dispersed, its members will not in the year meet again. Each
returns to his degree in the scale of good society, porcelain remains
porcelain, and earthen earthen. The objects of fashion may be frivolous,
or fashion may be objectless, but the nature of this union and selection
can be neither frivolous nor accidental. Each man's rank in that perfect
graduation depends on some symmetry in his structure or some agreement in
his structure to the symmetry of society. Its doors unbar instantaneously
to a natural claim of their own kind. A natural gentleman finds his way
in, and will keep the oldest patrician out who has lost his intrinsic
rank. Fashion understands itself; good-breeding and personal superiority
of whatever country readily fraternize with those of every other. The
chiefs of savage tribes have distinguished themselves in London and Paris,
by the purity of their tournure.</p>
<p>To say what good of fashion we can, it rests on reality, and hates nothing
so much as pretenders; to exclude and mystify pretenders and send them
into everlasting 'Coventry,' is its delight. We contemn in turn every
other gift of men of the world; but the habit even in little and the least
matters of not appealing to any but our own sense of propriety,
constitutes the foundation of all chivalry. There is almost no kind of
self-reliance, so it be sane and proportioned, which fashion does not
occasionally adopt and give it the freedom of its saloons. A sainted soul
is always elegant, and, if it will, passes unchallenged into the most
guarded ring. But so will Jock the teamster pass, in some crisis that
brings him thither, and find favor, as long as his head is not giddy with
the new circumstance, and the iron shoes do not wish to dance in waltzes
and cotillons. For there is nothing settled in manners, but the laws of
behavior yield to the energy of the individual. The maiden at her first
ball, the country-man at a city dinner, believes that there is a ritual
according to which every act and compliment must be performed, or the
failing party must be cast out of this presence. Later they learn that
good sense and character make their own forms every moment, and speak or
abstain, take wine or refuse it, stay or go, sit in a chair or sprawl with
children on the floor, or stand on their head, or what else soever, in a
new and aboriginal way; and that strong will is always in fashion, let who
will be unfashionable. All that fashion demands is composure and
self-content. A circle of men perfectly well-bred would be a company of
sensible persons in which every man's native manners and character
appeared. If the fashionist have not this quality, he is nothing. We are
such lovers of self-reliance that we excuse in a man many sins if he will
show us a complete satisfaction in his position, which asks no leave to
be, of mine, or any man's good opinion. But any deference to some eminent
man or woman of the world, forfeits all privilege of nobility. He is an
underling: I have nothing to do with him; I will speak with his master. A
man should not go where he cannot carry his whole sphere or society with
him,—not bodily, the whole circle of his friends, but
atmospherically. He should preserve in a new company the same attitude of
mind and reality of relation which his daily associates draw him to, else
he is shorn of his best beams, and will be an orphan in the merriest club.
"If you could see Vich Ian Vohr with his tail on!—" But Vich Ian
Vohr must always carry his belongings in some fashion, if not added as
honor, then severed as disgrace.</p>
<p>There will always be in society certain persons who are mercuries of its
approbation, and whose glance will at any time determine for the curious
their standing in the world. These are the chamberlains of the lesser
gods. Accept their coldness as an omen of grace with the loftier deities,
and allow them all their privilege. They are clear in their office, nor
could they be thus formidable without their own merits. But do not measure
the importance of this class by their pretension, or imagine that a fop
can be the dispenser of honor and shame. They pass also at their just
rate; for how can they otherwise, in circles which exist as a sort of
herald's office for the sifting of character?</p>
<p>As the first thing man requires of man is reality, so that appears in all
the forms of society. We pointedly, and by name, introduce the parties to
each other. Know you before all heaven and earth, that this is Andrew, and
this is Gregory,—they look each other in the eye; they grasp each
other's hand, to identify and signalize each other. It is a great
satisfaction. A gentleman never dodges; his eyes look straight forward,
and he assures the other party, first of all, that he has been met. For
what is it that we seek, in so many visits and hospitalities? Is it your
draperies, pictures, and decorations? Or do we not insatiably ask, Was a
man in the house? I may easily go into a great household where there is
much substance, excellent provision for comfort, luxury, and taste, and
yet not encounter there any Amphitryon who shall subordinate these
appendages. I may go into a cottage, and find a farmer who feels that he
is the man I have come to see, and fronts me accordingly. It was therefore
a very natural point of old feudal etiquette that a gentleman who received
a visit, though it were of his sovereign, should not leave his roof, but
should wait his arrival at the door of his house. No house, though it were
the Tuileries or the Escurial, is good for anything without a master. And
yet we are not often gratified by this hospitality. Every body we know
surrounds himself with a fine house, fine books, conservatory, gardens,
equipage and all manner of toys, as screens to interpose between himself
and his guest. Does it not seem as if man was of a very sly, elusive
nature, and dreaded nothing so much as a full rencontre front to front
with his fellow? It were unmerciful, I know, quite to abolish the use of
these screens, which are of eminent convenience, whether the guest is too
great or too little. We call together many friends who keep each other in
play, or by luxuries and ornaments we amuse the young people, and guard
our retirement. Or if perchance a searching realist comes to our gate,
before whose eye we have no care to stand, then again we run to our
curtain, and hide ourselves as Adam at the voice of the Lord God in the
garden. Cardinal Caprara, the Pope's legate at Paris, defended himself
from the glances of Napoleon by an immense pair of green spectacles.
Napoleon remarked them, and speedily managed to rally them off: and yet
Napoleon, in his turn, was not great enough with eight hundred thousand
troops at his back, to face a pair of freeborn eyes, but fenced himself
with etiquette and within triple barriers of reserve; and, as all the
world knows from Madame de Stael, was wont, when he found himself
observed, to discharge his face of all expression. But emperors and rich
men are by no means the most skilful masters of good manners. No rentroll
nor army-list can dignify skulking and dissimulation; and the first point
of courtesy must always be truth, as really all the forms of good-breeding
point that way.</p>
<p>I have just been reading, in Mr. Hazlitt's translation, Montaigne's
account of his journey into Italy, and am struck with nothing more
agreeably than the self-respecting fashions of the time. His arrival in
each place, the arrival of a gentleman of France, is an event of some
consequence. Wherever he goes he pays a visit to whatever prince or
gentleman of note resides upon his road, as a duty to himself and to
civilization. When he leaves any house in which he has lodged for a few
weeks, he causes his arms to be painted and hung up as a perpetual sign to
the house, as was the custom of gentlemen.</p>
<p>The complement of this graceful self-respect, and that of all the points
of good breeding I most require and insist upon, is deference. I like that
every chair should be a throne, and hold a king. I prefer a tendency to
stateliness to an excess of fellowship. Let the incommunicable objects of
nature and the metaphysical isolation of man teach us independence. Let us
not be too much acquainted. I would have a man enter his house through a
hall filled with heroic and sacred sculptures, that he might not want the
hint of tranquillity and self-poise. We should meet each morning as from
foreign countries, and, spending the day together, should depart at night,
as into foreign countries. In all things I would have the island of a man
inviolate. Let us sit apart as the gods, talking from peak to peak all
round Olympus. No degree of affection need invade this religion. This is
myrrh and rosemary to keep the other sweet. Lovers Should guard their
strangeness. If they forgive too much, all slides into confusion and
meanness. It is easy to push this deference to a Chinese etiquette; but
coolness and absence of heat and haste indicate fine qualities. A
gentleman makes no noise; a lady is serene. Proportionate is our disgust
at those invaders who fill a studious house with blast and running, to
secure some paltry convenience. Not less I dislike a low sympathy of each
with his neighbor's needs. Must we have a good understanding with one
another's palates? as foolish people who have lived long together know
when each wants salt or sugar. I pray my companion, if he wishes for
bread, to ask me for bread, and if he wishes for sassafras or arsenic, to
ask me for them, and not to hold out his plate as if I knew already. Every
natural function can be dignified by deliberation and privacy. Let us
leave hurry to slaves. The compliments and ceremonies of our breeding
should signify, however remotely, the recollection of the grandeur of our
destiny.</p>
<p>The flower of courtesy does not very well bide handling, but if we dare to
open another leaf and explore what parts go to its conformation, we shall
find also an intellectual quality. To the leaders of men, the brain as
well as the flesh and the heart must furnish a proportion. Defect in
manners is usually the defect of fine perceptions. Men are too coarsely
made for the delicacy of beautiful carriage and customs. It is not quite
sufficient to good-breeding, a union of kindness and independence. We
imperatively require a perception of, and a homage to beauty in our
companions. Other virtues are in request in the field and workyard, but a
certain degree of taste is not to be spared in those we sit with. I could
better eat with one who did not respect the truth or the laws than with a
sloven and unpresentable person. Moral qualities rule the world, but at
short distances the senses are despotic. The same discrimination of fit
and fair runs out, if with less rigor, into all parts of life. The average
spirit of the energetic class is good sense, acting under certain
limitations and to certain ends. It entertains every natural gift. Social
in its nature, it respects everything which tends to unite men. It
delights in measure. The love of beauty is mainly the love of measure or
proportion. The person who screams, or uses the superlative degree, or
converses with heat, puts whole drawing-rooms to flight. If you wish to be
loved, love measure. You must have genius or a prodigious usefulness if
you will hide the want of measure. This perception comes in to polish and
perfect the parts of the social instrument. Society will pardon much to
genius and special gifts, but, being in its nature a convention, it loves
what is conventional, or what belongs to coming together. That makes the
good and bad of manners, namely what helps or hinders fellowship. For
fashion is not good sense absolute, but relative; not good sense private,
but good sense entertaining company. It hates corners and sharp points of
character, hates quarrelsome, egotistical, solitary, and gloomy people;
hates whatever can interfere with total blending of parties; whilst it
values all peculiarities as in the highest degree refreshing, which can
consist with good fellowship. And besides the general infusion of wit to
heighten civility, the direct splendor of intellectual power is ever
welcome in fine society as the costliest addition to its rule and its
credit.</p>
<p>The dry light must shine in to adorn our festival, but it must be tempered
and shaded, or that will also offend. Accuracy is essential to beauty, and
quick perceptions to politeness, but not too quick perceptions. One may be
too punctual and too precise. He must leave the omniscience of business at
the door, when he comes into the palace of beauty. Society loves creole
natures, and sleepy languishing manners, so that they cover sense, grace
and good-will: the air of drowsy strength, which disarms criticism;
perhaps because such a person seems to reserve himself for the best of the
game, and not spend himself on surfaces; an ignoring eye, which does not
see the annoyances, shifts, and inconveniences that cloud the brow and
smother the voice of the sensitive.</p>
<p>Therefore besides personal force and so much perception as constitutes
unerring taste, society demands in its patrician class another element
already intimated, which it significantly terms good-nature,—expressing
all degrees of generosity, from the lowest willingness and faculty to
oblige, up to the heights of magnanimity and love. Insight we must have,
or we shall run against one another and miss the way to our food; but
intellect is selfish and barren. The secret of success in society is a
certain heartiness and sympathy. A man who is not happy in the company
cannot find any word in his memory that will fit the occasion. All his
information is a little impertinent. A man who is happy there, finds in
every turn of the conversation equally lucky occasions for the
introduction of that which he has to say. The favorites of society, and
what it calls whole souls, are able men and of more spirit than wit, who
have no uncomfortable egotism, but who exactly fill the hour and the
company; contented and contenting, at a marriage or a funeral, a ball or a
jury, a water-party or a shooting-match. England, which is rich in
gentlemen, furnished, in the beginning of the present century, a good
model of that genius which the world loves, in Mr. Fox, who added to his
great abilities the most social disposition and real love of men.
Parliamentary history has few better passages than the debate in which
Burke and Fox separated in the House of Commons; when Fox urged on his old
friend the claims of old friendship with such tenderness that the house
was moved to tears. Another anecdote is so close to my matter, that I must
hazard the story. A tradesman who had long dunned him for a note of three
hundred guineas, found him one day counting gold, and demanded payment:—"No,"
said Fox, "I owe this money to Sheridan; it is a debt of honor; if an
accident should happen to me, he has nothing to show." "Then," said the
creditor, "I change my debt into a debt of honor," and tore the note in
pieces. Fox thanked the man for his confidence and paid him, saying, "his
debt was of older standing, and Sheridan must wait." Lover of liberty,
friend of the Hindoo, friend of the African slave, he possessed a great
personal popularity; and Napoleon said of him on the occasion of his visit
to Paris, in 1805, "Mr. Fox will always hold the first place in an
assembly at the Tuileries."</p>
<p>We may easily seem ridiculous in our eulogy of courtesy, whenever we
insist on benevolence as its foundation. The painted phantasm Fashion
rises to cast a species of derision on what we say. But I will neither be
driven from some allowance to Fashion as a symbolic institution, nor from
the belief that love is the basis of courtesy. We must obtain that, if we
can; but by all means we must affirm this. Life owes much of its spirit to
these sharp contrasts. Fashion, which affects to be honor, is often, in
all men's experience, only a ballroom-code. Yet so long as it is the
highest circle in the imagination of the best heads on the planet, there
is something necessary and excellent in it; for it is not to be supposed
that men have agreed to be the dupes of anything preposterous; and the
respect which these mysteries inspire in the most rude and sylvan
characters, and the curiosity with which details of high life are read,
betray the universality of the love of cultivated manners. I know that a
comic disparity would be felt, if we should enter the acknowledged 'first
circles' and apply these terrific standards of justice, beauty, and
benefit to the individuals actually found there. Monarchs and heroes,
sages and lovers, these gallants are not. Fashion has many classes and
many rules of probation and admission, and not the best alone. There is
not only the right of conquest, which genius pretends,—the
individual demonstrating his natural aristocracy best of the best;—but
less claims will pass for the time; for Fashion loves lions, and points
like Circe to her horned company. This gentleman is this afternoon arrived
from Denmark; and that is my Lord Ride, who came yesterday from Bagdat;
here is Captain Friese, from Cape Turnagain; and Captain Symmes, from the
interior of the earth; and Monsieur Jovaire, who came down this morning in
a balloon; Mr. Hobnail, the reformer; and Reverend Jul Bat, who has
converted the whole torrid zone in his Sunday school; and Signor Torre del
Greco, who extinguished Vesuvius by pouring into it the Bay of Naples;
Spahi, the Persian ambassador; and Tul Wil Shan, the exiled nabob of
Nepaul, whose saddle is the new moon.—But these are monsters of one
day, and to-morrow will be dismissed to their holes and dens; for in these
rooms every chair is waited for. The artist, the scholar, and, in general,
the clerisy, wins their way up into these places and get represented here,
somewhat on this footing of conquest. Another mode is to pass through all
the degrees, spending a year and a day in St. Michael's Square, being
steeped in Cologne water, and perfumed, and dined, and introduced, and
properly grounded in all the biography and politics and anecdotes of the
boudoirs.</p>
<p>Yet these fineries may have grace and wit. Let there be grotesque
sculpture about the gates and offices of temples. Let the creed and
commandments even have the saucy homage of parody. The forms of politeness
universally express benevolence in superlative degrees. What if they are
in the mouths of selfish men, and used as means of selfishness? What if
the false gentleman almost bows the true out Of the world? What if the
false gentleman contrives so to address his companion as civilly to
exclude all others from his discourse, and also to make them feel
excluded? Real service will not lose its nobleness. All generosity is not
merely French and sentimental; nor is it to be concealed that living blood
and a passion of kindness does at last distinguish God's gentleman from
Fashion's. The epitaph of Sir Jenkin Grout is not wholly unintelligible to
the present age: "Here lies Sir Jenkin Grout, who loved his friend and
persuaded his enemy: what his mouth ate, his hand paid for: what his
servants robbed, he restored: if a woman gave him pleasure, he supported
her in pain: he never forgot his children; and whoso touched his finger,
drew after it his whole body." Even the line of heroes is not utterly
extinct. There is still ever some admirable person in plain clothes,
standing on the wharf, who jumps in to rescue a drowning man; there is
still some absurd inventor of charities; some guide and comforter of
runaway slaves; some friend of Poland; some Philhellene; some fanatic who
plants shade-trees for the second and third generation, and orchards when
he is grown old; some well-concealed piety; some just man happy in an ill
fame; some youth ashamed of the favors of fortune and impatiently casting
them on other shoulders. And these are the centres of society, on which it
returns for fresh impulses. These are the creators of Fashion, which is an
attempt to organize beauty of behavior. The beautiful and the generous
are, in the theory, the doctors and apostles of this church: Scipio, and
the Cid, and Sir Philip Sidney, and Washington, and every pure and valiant
heart who worshipped Beauty by word and by deed. The persons who
constitute the natural aristocracy are not found in the actual
aristocracy, or only on its edge; as the chemical energy of the spectrum
is found to be greatest just outside of the spectrum. Yet that is the
infirmity of the seneschals, who do not know their sovereign when he
appears. The theory of society supposes the existence and sovereignty of
these. It divines afar off their coming. It says with the elder gods,—</p>
<p>"As Heaven and Earth are fairer far<br/>
Than Chaos and blank Darkness, though once chiefs;<br/>
And as we show beyond that Heaven and Earth,<br/>
In form and shape compact and beautiful;<br/>
So, on our heels a fresh perfection treads;<br/>
A power, more strong in beauty, born of us,<br/>
And fated to excel us, as we pass<br/>
In glory that old Darkness:<br/>
———— for, 'tis the eternal law,<br/>
That first in beauty shall be first in might."<br/></p>
<p>Therefore, within the ethnical circle of good society there is a narrower
and higher circle, concentration of its light, and flower of courtesy, to
which there is always a tacit appeal of pride and reference, as to its
inner and imperial court; the parliament of love and chivalry. And this is
constituted of those persons in whom heroic dispositions are native; with
the love of beauty, the delight in society, and the power to embellish the
passing day. If the individuals who compose the purest circles of
aristocracy in Europe, the guarded blood of centuries, should pass in
review, in such manner as that we could at leisure and critically inspect
their behavior, we might find no gentleman and no lady; for although
excellent specimens of courtesy and high-breeding would gratify us in the
assemblage, in the particulars we should detect offence. Because elegance
comes of no breeding, but of birth. There must be romance of character, or
the most fastidious exclusion of impertinencies will not avail. It must be
genius which takes that direction: it must be not courteous, but courtesy.
High behavior is as rare in fiction as it is in fact. Scott is praised for
the fidelity with which he painted the demeanor and conversation of the
superior classes. Certainly, kings and queens, nobles and great ladies,
had some right to complain of the absurdity that had been put in their
mouths before the days of Waverley; but neither does Scott's dialogue bear
criticism. His lords brave each other in smart epigramatic speeches, but
the dialogue is in costume, and does not please on the second reading: it
is not warm with life. In Shakspeare alone the speakers do not strut and
bridle, the dialogue is easily great, and he adds to so many titles that
of being the best-bred man in England and in Christendom. Once or twice in
a lifetime we are permitted to enjoy the charm of noble manners, in the
presence of a man or woman who have no bar in their nature, but whose
character emanates freely in their word and gesture. A beautiful form is
better than a beautiful face; a beautiful behavior is better than a
beautiful form: it gives a higher pleasure than statues or pictures; it is
the finest of the fine arts. A man is but a little thing in the midst of
the objects of nature, yet, by the moral quality radiating from his
countenance he may abolish all considerations of magnitude, and in his
manners equal the majesty of the world. I have seen an individual whose
manners, though wholly within the conventions of elegant society, were
never learned there, but were original and commanding and held out
protection and prosperity; one who did not need the aid of a court-suit,
but carried the holiday in his eye; who exhilarated the fancy by flinging
wide the doors of new modes of existence; who shook off the captivity of
etiquette, with happy, spirited bearing, good-natured and free as Robin
Hood; yet with the port of an emperor, if need be,—calm, serious,
and fit to stand the gaze of millions.</p>
<p>The open air and the fields, the street and public chambers are the places
where Man executes his will; let him yield or divide the sceptre at the
door of the house. Woman, with her instinct of behavior, instantly detects
in man a love of trifles, any coldness or imbecility, or, in short, any
want of that large, flowing, and magnanimous deportment which is
indispensable as an exterior in the hall. Our American institutions have
been friendly to her, and at this moment I esteem it a chief felicity of
this country, that it excels in women. A certain awkward consciousness of
inferiority in the men may give rise to the new chivalry in behalf of
Woman's Rights. Certainly let her be as much better placed in the laws and
in social forms as the most zealous reformer can ask, but I confide so
entirely in her inspiring and musical nature, that I believe only herself
can show us how she shall be served. The wonderful generosity of her
sentiments raises her at times into heroical and godlike regions, and
verifies the pictures of Minerva, Juno, or Polymnia; and by the firmness
with which she treads her upward path, she convinces the coarsest
calculators that another road exists than that which their feet know. But
besides those who make good in our imagination the place of muses and of
Delphic Sibyls, are there not women who fill our vase with wine and roses
to the brim, so that the wine runs over and fills the house with perfume;
who inspire us with courtesy; who unloose our tongues and we speak; who
anoint our eyes and we see? We say things we never thought to have said;
for once, our walls of habitual reserve vanished and left us at large; we
were children playing with children in a wide field of flowers. Steep us,
we cried, in these influences, for days, for weeks, and we shall be sunny
poets and will write out in many-colored words the romance that you are.
Was it Hafiz or Firdousi that said of his Persian Lilla, She was an
elemental force, and astonished me by her amount of life, when I saw her
day after day radiating, every instant, redundant joy and grace on all
around her. She was a solvent powerful to reconcile all heterogeneous
persons into one society: like air or water, an element of such a great
range of affinities that it combines readily with a thousand substances.
Where she is present all others will be more than they are wont. She was a
unit and whole, so that whatsoever she did, became her. She had too much
sympathy and desire to please, than that you could say her manners were
marked with dignity, yet no princess could surpass her clear and erect
demeanor on each occasion. She did not study the Persian grammar, nor the
books of the seven poets, but all the poems of the seven seemed to be
written upon her. For though the bias of her nature was not to thought,
but to sympathy, yet was she so perfect in her own nature as to meet
intellectual persons by the fulness of her heart, warming them by her
sentiments; believing, as she did, that by dealing nobly with all, all
would show themselves noble.</p>
<p>I know that this Byzantine pile of chivalry or Fashion, which seems so
fair and picturesque to those who look at the contemporary facts for
science or for entertainment, is not equally pleasant to all spectators.
The constitution of our society makes it a giant's castle to the ambitious
youth who have not found their names enrolled in its Golden Book, and whom
it has excluded from its coveted honors and privileges. They have yet to
learn that its seeming grandeur is shadowy and relative: it is great by
their allowance; its proudest gates will fly open at the approach of their
courage and virtue. For the present distress, however, of those who are
predisposed to suffer from the tyrannies of this caprice, there are easy
remedies. To remove your residence a couple of miles, or at most four,
will commonly relieve the most extreme susceptibility. For the advantages
which fashion values are plants which thrive in very confined localities,
in a few streets namely. Out of this precinct they go for nothing; are of
no use in the farm, in the forest, in the market, in war, in the nuptial
society, in the literary or scientific circle, at sea, in friendship, in
the heaven of thought or virtue.</p>
<p>But we have lingered long enough in these painted courts. The worth of the
thing signified must vindicate our taste for the emblem. Everything that
is called fashion and courtesy humbles itself before the cause and
fountain of honor, creator of titles and dignities, namely the heart of
love. This is the royal blood, this the fire, which, in all countries and
contingencies, will work after its kind and conquer and expand all that
approaches it. This gives new meanings to every fact. This impoverishes
the rich, suffering no grandeur but its own. What is rich? Are you rich
enough to help anybody? to succor the unfashionable and the eccentric?
rich enough to make the Canadian in his wagon, the itinerant with his
consul's paper which commends him "To the charitable," the swarthy Italian
with his few broken words of English, the lame pauper hunted by overseers
from town to town, even the poor insane or besotted wreck of man or woman,
feel the noble exception of your presence and your house from the general
bleakness and stoniness; to make such feel that they were greeted with a
voice which made them both remember and hope? What is vulgar but to refuse
the claim on acute and conclusive reasons? What is gentle, but to allow
it, and give their heart and yours one holiday from the national caution?
Without the rich heart, wealth is an ugly beggar. The king of Schiraz
could not afford to be so bountiful as the poor Osman who dwelt at his
gate. Osman had a humanity so broad and deep that although his speech was
so bold and free with the Koran as to disgust all the dervishes, yet was
there never a poor outcast, eccentric, or insane man, some fool who had
cut off his beard, or who had been mutilated under a vow, or had a pet
madness in his brain, but fled at once to him; that great heart lay there
so sunny and hospitable in the centre of the country, that it seemed as if
the instinct of all sufferers drew them to his side. And the madness which
he harbored he did not share. Is not this to be rich? this only to be
rightly rich?</p>
<p>But I shall hear without pain that I play the courtier very ill, and talk
of that which I do not well understand. It is easy to see, that what is
called by distinction society and fashion has good laws as well as bad,
has much that is necessary, and much that is absurd. Too good for banning,
and too bad for blessing, it reminds us of a tradition of the pagan
mythology, in any attempt to settle its character. 'I overheard Jove, one
day,' said Silenus, 'talking of destroying the earth; he said it had
failed; they were all rogues and vixens, who went from bad to worse, as
fast as the days succeeded each other. Minerva said she hoped not; they
were only ridiculous little creatures, with this odd circumstance, that
they had a blur, or indeterminate aspect, seen far or seen near; if you
called them bad, they would appear so; if you called them good, they would
appear so; and there was no one person or action among them, which would
not puzzle her owl, much more all Olympus, to know whether it was
fundamentally bad or good.'</p>
<p><br/></p>
<hr />
<p><br/><br/><br/></p>
<p>GIFTS.<br/>
<br/>
Gifts of one who loved me,—<br/>
'T was high time they came;<br/>
When he ceased to love me,<br/>
Time they stopped for shame.<br/></p>
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