<h3>Chapter 12</h3>
<p>In the early days after his return from Moscow, whenever Levin shuddered and
grew red, remembering the disgrace of his rejection, he said to himself:
“This was just how I used to shudder and blush, thinking myself utterly
lost, when I was plucked in physics and did not get my remove; and how I
thought myself utterly ruined after I had mismanaged that affair of my
sister’s that was entrusted to me. And yet, now that years have passed, I
recall it and wonder that it could distress me so much. It will be the same
thing too with this trouble. Time will go by and I shall not mind about this
either.”</p>
<p>But three months had passed and he had not left off minding about it; and it
was as painful for him to think of it as it had been those first days. He could
not be at peace because after dreaming so long of family life, and feeling
himself so ripe for it, he was still not married, and was further than ever
from marriage. He was painfully conscious himself, as were all about him, that
at his years it is not well for man to be alone. He remembered how before
starting for Moscow he had once said to his cowman Nikolay, a simple-hearted
peasant, whom he liked talking to: “Well, Nikolay! I mean to get
married,” and how Nikolay had promptly answered, as of a matter on which
there could be no possible doubt: “And high time too, Konstantin
Dmitrievitch.” But marriage had now become further off than ever. The
place was taken, and whenever he tried to imagine any of the girls he knew in
that place, he felt that it was utterly impossible. Moreover, the recollection
of the rejection and the part he had played in the affair tortured him with
shame. However often he told himself that he was in no wise to blame in it,
that recollection, like other humiliating reminiscences of a similar kind, made
him twinge and blush. There had been in his past, as in every man’s,
actions, recognized by him as bad, for which his conscience ought to have
tormented him; but the memory of these evil actions was far from causing him so
much suffering as those trivial but humiliating reminiscences. These wounds
never healed. And with these memories was now ranged his rejection and the
pitiful position in which he must have appeared to others that evening. But
time and work did their part. Bitter memories were more and more covered up by
the incidents—paltry in his eyes, but really important—of his
country life. Every week he thought less often of Kitty. He was impatiently
looking forward to the news that she was married, or just going to be married,
hoping that such news would, like having a tooth out, completely cure him.</p>
<p>Meanwhile spring came on, beautiful and kindly, without the delays and
treacheries of spring,—one of those rare springs in which plants, beasts,
and man rejoice alike. This lovely spring roused Levin still more, and
strengthened him in his resolution of renouncing all his past and building up
his lonely life firmly and independently. Though many of the plans with which
he had returned to the country had not been carried out, still his most
important resolution—that of purity—had been kept by him. He was
free from that shame, which had usually harassed him after a fall; and he could
look everyone straight in the face. In February he had received a letter from
Marya Nikolaevna telling him that his brother Nikolay’s health was
getting worse, but that he would not take advice, and in consequence of this
letter Levin went to Moscow to his brother’s and succeeded in persuading
him to see a doctor and to go to a watering-place abroad. He succeeded so well
in persuading his brother, and in lending him money for the journey without
irritating him, that he was satisfied with himself in that matter. In addition
to his farming, which called for special attention in spring, and in addition
to reading, Levin had begun that winter a work on agriculture, the plan of
which turned on taking into account the character of the laborer on the land as
one of the unalterable data of the question, like the climate and the soil, and
consequently deducing all the principles of scientific culture, not simply from
the data of soil and climate, but from the data of soil, climate, and a certain
unalterable character of the laborer. Thus, in spite of his solitude, or in
consequence of his solitude, his life was exceedingly full. Only rarely he
suffered from an unsatisfied desire to communicate his stray ideas to someone
besides Agafea Mihalovna. With her indeed he not infrequently fell into
discussion upon physics, the theory of agriculture, and especially philosophy;
philosophy was Agafea Mihalovna’s favorite subject.</p>
<p>Spring was slow in unfolding. For the last few weeks it had been steadily fine
frosty weather. In the daytime it thawed in the sun, but at night there were
even seven degrees of frost. There was such a frozen surface on the snow that
they drove the wagons anywhere off the roads. Easter came in the snow. Then all
of a sudden, on Easter Monday, a warm wind sprang up, storm clouds swooped
down, and for three days and three nights the warm, driving rain fell in
streams. On Thursday the wind dropped, and a thick gray fog brooded over the
land as though hiding the mysteries of the transformations that were being
wrought in nature. Behind the fog there was the flowing of water, the cracking
and floating of ice, the swift rush of turbid, foaming torrents; and on the
following Monday, in the evening, the fog parted, the storm clouds split up
into little curling crests of cloud, the sky cleared, and the real spring had
come. In the morning the sun rose brilliant and quickly wore away the thin
layer of ice that covered the water, and all the warm air was quivering with
the steam that rose up from the quickened earth. The old grass looked greener,
and the young grass thrust up its tiny blades; the buds of the guelder-rose and
of the currant and the sticky birch-buds were swollen with sap, and an
exploring bee was humming about the golden blossoms that studded the willow.
Larks trilled unseen above the velvety green fields and the ice-covered
stubble-land; peewits wailed over the low lands and marshes flooded by the
pools; cranes and wild geese flew high across the sky uttering their spring
calls. The cattle, bald in patches where the new hair had not grown yet, lowed
in the pastures; the bowlegged lambs frisked round their bleating mothers.
Nimble children ran about the drying paths, covered with the prints of bare
feet. There was a merry chatter of peasant women over their linen at the pond,
and the ring of axes in the yard, where the peasants were repairing ploughs and
harrows. The real spring had come.</p>
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