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<h2> XI </h2>
<p>Mr. Loomis, true to his word, wrote a few days later that he had enquired
in vain in the work-shop for any news of Ramy; and as she folded this
letter and laid it between the leaves of her Bible, Ann Eliza felt that
her last hope was gone. Miss Mellins, of course, had long since suggested
the mediation of the police, and cited from her favourite literature
convincing instances of the supernatural ability of the Pinkerton
detective; but Mr. Hawkins, when called in council, dashed this project by
remarking that detectives cost something like twenty dollars a day; and a
vague fear of the law, some half-formed vision of Evelina in the clutch of
a blue-coated "officer," kept Ann Eliza from invoking the aid of the
police.</p>
<p>After the arrival of Mr. Loomis's note the weeks followed each other
uneventfully. Ann Eliza's cough clung to her till late in the spring, the
reflection in her looking-glass grew more bent and meagre, and her
forehead sloped back farther toward the twist of hair that was fastened
above her parting by a comb of black India-rubber.</p>
<p>Toward spring a lady who was expecting a baby took up her abode at the
Mendoza Family Hotel, and through the friendly intervention of Miss
Mellins the making of some of the baby-clothes was entrusted to Ann Eliza.
This eased her of anxiety for the immediate future; but she had to rouse
herself to feel any sense of relief. Her personal welfare was what least
concerned her. Sometimes she thought of giving up the shop altogether; and
only the fear that, if she changed her address, Evelina might not be able
to find her, kept her from carrying out this plan.</p>
<p>Since she had lost her last hope of tracing her sister, all the activities
of her lonely imagination had been concentrated on the possibility of
Evelina's coming back to her. The discovery of Ramy's secret filled her
with dreadful fears. In the solitude of the shop and the back room she was
tortured by vague pictures of Evelina's sufferings. What horrors might not
be hidden beneath her silence? Ann Eliza's great dread was that Miss
Mellins should worm out of her what she had learned from Mr. Loomis. She
was sure Miss Mellins must have abominable things to tell about
drug-fiends—things she did not have the strength to hear.
"Drug-fiend"—the very word was Satanic; she could hear Miss Mellins
roll it on her tongue. But Ann Eliza's own imagination, left to itself,
had begun to people the long hours with evil visions. Sometimes, in the
night, she thought she heard herself called: the voice was her sister's,
but faint with a nameless terror. Her most peaceful moments were those in
which she managed to convince herself that Evelina was dead. She thought
of her then, mournfully but more calmly, as thrust away under the
neglected mound of some unknown cemetery, where no headstone marked her
name, no mourner with flowers for another grave paused in pity to lay a
blossom on hers. But this vision did not often give Ann Eliza its negative
relief; and always, beneath its hazy lines, lurked the dark conviction
that Evelina was alive, in misery and longing for her.</p>
<p>So the summer wore on. Ann Eliza was conscious that Mrs. Hawkins and Miss
Mellins were watching her with affectionate anxiety, but the knowledge
brought no comfort. She no longer cared what they felt or thought about
her. Her grief lay far beyond touch of human healing, and after a while
she became aware that they knew they could not help her. They still came
in as often as their busy lives permitted, but their visits grew shorter,
and Mrs. Hawkins always brought Arthur or the baby, so that there should
be something to talk about, and some one whom she could scold.</p>
<p>The autumn came, and the winter. Business had fallen off again, and but
few purchasers came to the little shop in the basement. In January Ann
Eliza pawned her mother's cashmere scarf, her mosaic brooch, and the
rosewood what-not on which the clock had always stood; she would have sold
the bedstead too, but for the persistent vision of Evelina returning weak
and weary, and not knowing where to lay her head.</p>
<p>The winter passed in its turn, and March reappeared with its galaxies of
yellow jonquils at the windy street corners, reminding Ann Eliza of the
spring day when Evelina had come home with a bunch of jonquils in her
hand. In spite of the flowers which lent such a premature brightness to
the streets the month was fierce and stormy, and Ann Eliza could get no
warmth into her bones. Nevertheless, she was insensibly beginning to take
up the healing routine of life. Little by little she had grown used to
being alone, she had begun to take a languid interest in the one or two
new purchasers the season had brought, and though the thought of Evelina
was as poignant as ever, it was less persistently in the foreground of her
mind.</p>
<p>Late one afternoon she was sitting behind the counter, wrapped in her
shawl, and wondering how soon she might draw down the blinds and retreat
into the comparative cosiness of the back room. She was not thinking of
anything in particular, except perhaps in a hazy way of the lady with the
puffed sleeves, who after her long eclipse had reappeared the day before
in sleeves of a new cut, and bought some tape and needles. The lady still
wore mourning, but she was evidently lightening it, and Ann Eliza saw in
this the hope of future orders. The lady had left the shop about an hour
before, walking away with her graceful step toward Fifth Avenue. She had
wished Ann Eliza good day in her usual affable way, and Ann Eliza thought
how odd it was that they should have been acquainted so long, and yet that
she should not know the lady's name. From this consideration her mind
wandered to the cut of the lady's new sleeves, and she was vexed with
herself for not having noted it more carefully. She felt Miss Mellins
might have liked to know about it. Ann Eliza's powers of observation had
never been as keen as Evelina's, when the latter was not too self-absorbed
to exert them. As Miss Mellins always said, Evelina could "take patterns
with her eyes": she could have cut that new sleeve out of a folded
newspaper in a trice! Musing on these things, Ann Eliza wished the lady
would come back and give her another look at the sleeve. It was not
unlikely that she might pass that way, for she certainly lived in or about
the Square. Suddenly Ann Eliza remarked a small neat handkerchief on the
counter: it must have dropped from the lady's purse, and she would
probably come back to get it. Ann Eliza, pleased at the idea, sat on
behind the counter and watched the darkening street. She always lit the
gas as late as possible, keeping the box of matches at her elbow, so that
if any one came she could apply a quick flame to the gas-jet. At length
through the deepening dusk she distinguished a slim dark figure coming
down the steps to the shop. With a little warmth of pleasure about her
heart she reached up to light the gas. "I do believe I'll ask her name
this time," she thought. She raised the flame to its full height, and saw
her sister standing in the door.</p>
<p>There she was at last, the poor pale shade of Evelina, her thin face
blanched of its faint pink, the stiff ripples gone from her hair, and a
mantle shabbier than Ann Eliza's drawn about her narrow shoulders. The
glare of the gas beat full on her as she stood and looked at Ann Eliza.</p>
<p>"Sister—oh, Evelina! I knowed you'd come!"</p>
<p>Ann Eliza had caught her close with a long moan of triumph. Vague words
poured from her as she laid her cheek against Evelina's—trivial
inarticulate endearments caught from Mrs. Hawkins's long discourses to her
baby.</p>
<p>For a while Evelina let herself be passively held; then she drew back from
her sister's clasp and looked about the shop. "I'm dead tired. Ain't there
any fire?" she asked.</p>
<p>"Of course there is!" Ann Eliza, holding her hand fast, drew her into the
back room. She did not want to ask any questions yet: she simply wanted to
feel the emptiness of the room brimmed full again by the one presence that
was warmth and light to her.</p>
<p>She knelt down before the grate, scraped some bits of coal and kindling
from the bottom of the coal-scuttle, and drew one of the rocking-chairs up
to the weak flame. "There—that'll blaze up in a minute," she said.
She pressed Evelina down on the faded cushions of the rocking-chair, and,
kneeling beside her, began to rub her hands.</p>
<p>"You're stone-cold, ain't you? Just sit still and warm yourself while I
run and get the kettle. I've got something you always used to fancy for
supper." She laid her hand on Evelina's shoulder. "Don't talk—oh,
don't talk yet!" she implored. She wanted to keep that one frail second of
happiness between herself and what she knew must come.</p>
<p>Evelina, without a word, bent over the fire, stretching her thin hands to
the blaze and watching Ann Eliza fill the kettle and set the supper table.
Her gaze had the dreamy fixity of a half-awakened child's.</p>
<p>Ann Eliza, with a smile of triumph, brought a slice of custard pie from
the cupboard and put it by her sister's plate.</p>
<p>"You do like that, don't you? Miss Mellins sent it down to me this
morning. She had her aunt from Brooklyn to dinner. Ain't it funny it just
so happened?"</p>
<p>"I ain't hungry," said Evelina, rising to approach the table.</p>
<p>She sat down in her usual place, looked about her with the same wondering
stare, and then, as of old, poured herself out the first cup of tea.</p>
<p>"Where's the what-not gone to?" she suddenly asked.</p>
<p>Ann Eliza set down the teapot and rose to get a spoon from the cupboard.
With her back to the room she said: "The what-not? Why, you see, dearie,
living here all alone by myself it only made one more thing to dust; so I
sold it."</p>
<p>Evelina's eyes were still travelling about the familiar room. Though it
was against all the traditions of the Bunner family to sell any household
possession, she showed no surprise at her sister's answer.</p>
<p>"And the clock? The clock's gone too."</p>
<p>"Oh, I gave that away—I gave it to Mrs. Hawkins. She's kep' awake so
nights with that last baby."</p>
<p>"I wish you'd never bought it," said Evelina harshly.</p>
<p>Ann Eliza's heart grew faint with fear. Without answering, she crossed
over to her sister's seat and poured her out a second cup of tea. Then
another thought struck her, and she went back to the cupboard and took out
the cordial. In Evelina's absence considerable draughts had been drawn
from it by invalid neighbours; but a glassful of the precious liquid still
remained.</p>
<p>"Here, drink this right off—it'll warm you up quicker than
anything," Ann Eliza said.</p>
<p>Evelina obeyed, and a slight spark of colour came into her cheeks. She
turned to the custard pie and began to eat with a silent voracity
distressing to watch. She did not even look to see what was left for Ann
Eliza.</p>
<p>"I ain't hungry," she said at last as she laid down her fork. "I'm only so
dead tired—that's the trouble."</p>
<p>"Then you'd better get right into bed. Here's my old plaid dressing-gown—you
remember it, don't you?" Ann Eliza laughed, recalling Evelina's ironies on
the subject of the antiquated garment. With trembling fingers she began to
undo her sister's cloak. The dress beneath it told a tale of poverty that
Ann Eliza dared not pause to note. She drew it gently off, and as it
slipped from Evelina's shoulders it revealed a tiny black bag hanging on a
ribbon about her neck. Evelina lifted her hand as though to screen the bag
from Ann Eliza; and the elder sister, seeing the gesture, continued her
task with lowered eyes. She undressed Evelina as quickly as she could, and
wrapping her in the plaid dressing-gown put her to bed, and spread her own
shawl and her sister's cloak above the blanket.</p>
<p>"Where's the old red comfortable?" Evelina asked, as she sank down on the
pillow.</p>
<p>"The comfortable? Oh, it was so hot and heavy I never used it after you
went—so I sold that too. I never could sleep under much clothes."</p>
<p>She became aware that her sister was looking at her more attentively.</p>
<p>"I guess you've been in trouble too," Evelina said.</p>
<p>"Me? In trouble? What do you mean, Evelina?"</p>
<p>"You've had to pawn the things, I suppose," Evelina continued in a weary
unmoved tone. "Well, I've been through worse than that. I've been to hell
and back."</p>
<p>"Oh, Evelina—don't say it, sister!" Ann Eliza implored, shrinking
from the unholy word. She knelt down and began to rub her sister's feet
beneath the bedclothes.</p>
<p>"I've been to hell and back—if I AM back," Evelina repeated. She
lifted her head from the pillow and began to talk with a sudden feverish
volubility. "It began right away, less than a month after we were married.
I've been in hell all that time, Ann Eliza." She fixed her eyes with
passionate intentness on Ann Eliza's face. "He took opium. I didn't find
it out till long afterward—at first, when he acted so strange, I
thought he drank. But it was worse, much worse than drinking."</p>
<p>"Oh, sister, don't say it—don't say it yet! It's so sweet just to
have you here with me again."</p>
<p>"I must say it," Evelina insisted, her flushed face burning with a kind of
bitter cruelty. "You don't know what life's like—you don't know
anything about it—setting here safe all the while in this peaceful
place."</p>
<p>"Oh, Evelina—why didn't you write and send for me if it was like
that?"</p>
<p>"That's why I couldn't write. Didn't you guess I was ashamed?"</p>
<p>"How could you be? Ashamed to write to Ann Eliza?"</p>
<p>Evelina raised herself on her thin elbow, while Ann Eliza, bending over,
drew a corner of the shawl about her shoulder.</p>
<p>"Do lay down again. You'll catch your death."</p>
<p>"My death? That don't frighten me! You don't know what I've been through."
And sitting upright in the old mahogany bed, with flushed cheeks and
chattering teeth, and Ann Eliza's trembling arm clasping the shawl about
her neck, Evelina poured out her story. It was a tale of misery and
humiliation so remote from the elder sister's innocent experiences that
much of it was hardly intelligible to her. Evelina's dreadful familiarity
with it all, her fluency about things which Ann Eliza half-guessed and
quickly shuddered back from, seemed even more alien and terrible than the
actual tale she told. It was one thing—and heaven knew it was bad
enough!—to learn that one's sister's husband was a drug-fiend; it
was another, and much worse thing, to learn from that sister's pallid lips
what vileness lay behind the word.</p>
<p>Evelina, unconscious of any distress but her own, sat upright, shivering
in Ann Eliza's hold, while she piled up, detail by detail, her dreary
narrative.</p>
<p>"The minute we got out there, and he found the job wasn't as good as he
expected, he changed. At first I thought he was sick—I used to try
to keep him home and nurse him. Then I saw it was something different. He
used to go off for hours at a time, and when he came back his eyes kinder
had a fog over them. Sometimes he didn't har'ly know me, and when he did
he seemed to hate me. Once he hit me here." She touched her breast. "Do
you remember, Ann Eliza, that time he didn't come to see us for a week—the
time after we all went to Central Park together—and you and I
thought he must be sick?"</p>
<p>Ann Eliza nodded.</p>
<p>"Well, that was the trouble—he'd been at it then. But nothing like
as bad. After we'd been out there about a month he disappeared for a whole
week. They took him back at the store, and gave him another chance; but
the second time they discharged him, and he drifted round for ever so long
before he could get another job. We spent all our money and had to move to
a cheaper place. Then he got something to do, but they hardly paid him
anything, and he didn't stay there long. When he found out about the baby—"</p>
<p>"The baby?" Ann Eliza faltered.</p>
<p>"It's dead—it only lived a day. When he found out about it, he got
mad, and said he hadn't any money to pay doctors' bills, and I'd better
write to you to help us. He had an idea you had money hidden away that I
didn't know about." She turned to her sister with remorseful eyes. "It was
him that made me get that hundred dollars out of you."</p>
<p>"Hush, hush. I always meant it for you anyhow."</p>
<p>"Yes, but I wouldn't have taken it if he hadn't been at me the whole time.
He used to make me do just what he wanted. Well, when I said I wouldn't
write to you for more money he said I'd better try and earn some myself.
That was when he struck me.... Oh, you don't know what I'm talking about
yet!... I tried to get work at a milliner's, but I was so sick I couldn't
stay. I was sick all the time. I wisht I'd ha' died, Ann Eliza."</p>
<p>"No, no, Evelina."</p>
<p>"Yes, I do. It kept getting worse and worse. We pawned the furniture, and
they turned us out because we couldn't pay the rent; and so then we went
to board with Mrs. Hochmuller."</p>
<p>Ann Eliza pressed her closer to dissemble her own tremor. "Mrs.
Hochmuller?"</p>
<p>"Didn't you know she was out there? She moved out a month after we did.
She wasn't bad to me, and I think she tried to keep him straight—but
Linda—"</p>
<p>"Linda—?"</p>
<p>"Well, when I kep' getting worse, and he was always off, for days at a
time, the doctor had me sent to a hospital."</p>
<p>"A hospital? Sister—sister!"</p>
<p>"It was better than being with him; and the doctors were real kind to me.
After the baby was born I was very sick and had to stay there a good
while. And one day when I was laying there Mrs. Hochmuller came in as
white as a sheet, and told me him and Linda had gone off together and
taken all her money. That's the last I ever saw of him." She broke off
with a laugh and began to cough again.</p>
<p>Ann Eliza tried to persuade her to lie down and sleep, but the rest of her
story had to be told before she could be soothed into consent. After the
news of Ramy's flight she had had brain fever, and had been sent to
another hospital where she stayed a long time—how long she couldn't
remember. Dates and days meant nothing to her in the shapeless ruin of her
life. When she left the hospital she found that Mrs. Hochmuller had gone
too. She was penniless, and had no one to turn to. A lady visitor at the
hospital was kind, and found her a place where she did housework; but she
was so weak they couldn't keep her. Then she got a job as waitress in a
down-town lunch-room, but one day she fainted while she was handing a
dish, and that evening when they paid her they told her she needn't come
again.</p>
<p>"After that I begged in the streets"—(Ann Eliza's grasp again grew
tight)—"and one afternoon last week, when the matinees was coming
out, I met a man with a pleasant face, something like Mr. Hawkins, and he
stopped and asked me what the trouble was. I told him if he'd give me five
dollars I'd have money enough to buy a ticket back to New York, and he
took a good look at me and said, well, if that was what I wanted he'd go
straight to the station with me and give me the five dollars there. So he
did—and he bought the ticket, and put me in the cars."</p>
<p>Evelina sank back, her face a sallow wedge in the white cleft of the
pillow. Ann Eliza leaned over her, and for a long time they held each
other without speaking.</p>
<p>They were still clasped in this dumb embrace when there was a step in the
shop and Ann Eliza, starting up, saw Miss Mellins in the doorway.</p>
<p>"My sakes, Miss Bunner! What in the land are you doing? Miss Evelina—Mrs.
Ramy—it ain't you?"</p>
<p>Miss Mellins's eyes, bursting from their sockets, sprang from Evelina's
pallid face to the disordered supper table and the heap of worn clothes on
the floor; then they turned back to Ann Eliza, who had placed herself on
the defensive between her sister and the dress-maker.</p>
<p>"My sister Evelina has come back—come back on a visit. She was taken
sick in the cars on the way home—I guess she caught cold—so I
made her go right to bed as soon as ever she got here."</p>
<p>Ann Eliza was surprised at the strength and steadiness of her voice.
Fortified by its sound she went on, her eyes on Miss Mellins's baffled
countenance: "Mr. Ramy has gone west on a trip—a trip connected with
his business; and Evelina is going to stay with me till he comes back."</p>
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