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Humbugs of the World, The

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<div class="tn"> Transcriber’s Note Obvious typographical errors have been corrected. A list of these changes is found at the end of the text. Inconsistencies in spelling and hyphenation have been maintained. A list of inconsistently spelled and hyphenated words is found at the end of the text. </div> <hr class="chapbreak" /> <h1 class="chapterhead">THE HUMBUGS OF THE WORLD.</h1> AN ACCOUNT OF HUMBUGS, DELUSIONS, IMPOSITIONS, QUACKERIES, DECEITS AND DECEIVERS GENERALLY, IN ALL AGES. BY P. T. BARNUM. “Omne ignotum pro mirifico.”—“Wonderful, because mysterious.” <div class="figcenter"> <ANTIMG src="images/illus-001.png" width-obs="50" height-obs="38" alt="decorative" title="decorative" /></div> NEW YORK: CARLETON. PUBLISHER. 413 BROADWAY. 1866. <hr class="chapbreak" /> Entered according to Act of Congress, in the year 1865, by G. W. CARLETON, In the Clerk’s Office of the District Court for the Southern District of New York. <hr class="chapbreak" /> <h2 class="chapterhead">PUBLISHER’S NOTE.</h2> <hr class="declong" /> One of Mr. Barnum’s secrets of success is his unique methods of advertising, and we can readily understand how he can bear to be denounced as a “Humbug,” because this popular designation though undeserved in the popular acceptation of it, “brought grist to his mill.” He has constantly kept himself before the public—nay, we may say that he has been kept before the public constantly, by the stereotyped word in question; and what right, or what desire, could he have to discard or complain of an epithet which was one of the prospering elements of his business as “a showman?” In a narrow sense of the word he is a “Humbug:” in the larger acceptation he is not. He has in several chapters of this book elaborated the distinction, and we will only say in this place, what, indeed, no one who knows him will doubt, that, aside from his qualities as a caterer to popular entertainment, he is one of the most remarkable men of the age. As a business man, of far-reaching vision and singular executive force, he has for years been the life of Bridgeport, near which city he has long resided, and last winter he achieved high rank in the Legislature of Connecticut, as both an effective speaker and a patriot, having “no axe to grind,” and seeking only the public welfare. We, indeed, agree with the editor of The New York Independent, who, in an article drawn out by the burning of the American Museum, says: “Mr. Barnum’s rare talent as a speaker has always been exercised in behalf of good morals, and for patriotic objects. No man has done better service in the temperance cause by public lectures during the past ten years, both in America and Great Britain, and during the war he was most efficient in stimulating the spirit which resulted in the preservation of the Union, and the destruction of Slavery.” We cannot forbear quoting two or three additional paragraphs from that article, especially as they are so strongly expressive of the merits of the case: “Mr. Barnum’s whole career has been a very transparent one. He has never befooled the public to its injury, and, though his name has come to be looked upon as a synonym for humbuggery, there never was a public man who was less of one. “The hearty good wishes of many good men, and the sympathies of the community in which he has lived, go with him, and the public he has so long amused, but never abused, will be ready to sustain him whenever he makes another appeal to them. Mr. Barnum is a very good sort of representative Yankee. When crowds of English traders and manufacturers in Liverpool, Manchester, and London, flocked to hear his lectures on the art of making money, they expected to hear from him some very smart recipes for knavery; but they were as much astonished as they were edified to learn that the only secret he had to tell them was to be honest, and not to expect something for nothing.” We could fill many pages with quotations of corresponding tenor from the leading and most influential men and journals in the land, but we will close this publisher’s note with the following from the N. Y. Sun. “One of the happiest impromptu oratorical efforts that we have heard for some time was that made by Barnum at the benefit performance given for his employés on Friday afternoon. If a stranger wanted to satisfy himself how the great showman had managed so to monopolize the ear and eye of the public during his long career he could not have had a better opportunity of doing so than by listening to this address. Every word, though delivered with apparent carelessness, struck a key-note in the hearts of his listeners. Simple, forcible, and touching, it showed how thoroughly this extraordinary man comprehends the character of his countrymen, and how easily he can play upon their feelings. “Those who look upon Barnum as a mere charlatan, have really no knowledge of him. It would be easy to demonstrate that the qualities that have placed him in his present position of notoriety and affluence would, in another pursuit, have raised him to far greater eminence. In his breadth of views, his profound knowledge of mankind, his courage under reverses, his indomitable perseverance, his ready eloquence, and his admirable business tact, we recognise the elements that are conducive to success in most other pursuits. More than almost any other living man, Barnum may be said to be a representative type of the American mind.” <hr class="chapbreak" /> <h2 class="chapterhead">INTRODUCTION.</h2> <hr class="declong" /> In the “Autobiography of P. T. Barnum,” published in 1855, I partly promised to write a book which should expose some of the chief humbugs of the world. The invitation of my friends Messrs. Cauldwell and Whitney of the “Weekly Mercury” caused me to furnish for that paper a series of articles in which I very naturally took up the subject in question. This book is a revision and re-arrangement of a portion of those articles. If I should find that I have met a popular demand, I shall in due time put forth a second volume. There is not the least danger of a dearth of materials. I once travelled through the Southern States in company with a magician. The first day in each town, he astonished his auditors with his deceptions. He then announced that on the following day he would show how each trick was performed, and how every man might thus become his own magician. That exposé spoiled the legerdemain market on that particular route, for several years. So, if we could have a full exposure of “the tricks of trade” of all sorts, of humbugs and deceivers of past times, religious, political, financial, scientific, quackish and so forth, we might perhaps look for a somewhat wiser generation to follow us. I shall be well satisfied if I can do something towards so good a purpose. P. T. BARNUM. <hr class="chapbreak" /> <h2 class="chapterhead">CONTENTS.</h2> <hr class="decshort" /> I. PERSONAL REMINISCENCES. CHAPTER I.—GENERAL VIEW OF THE SUBJECT.—HUMBUG UNIVERSAL.—IN RELIGION.—IN POLITICS.—IN BUSINESS.—IN SCIENCE.—IN MEDICINE.—HOW IT IS TO CEASE.—THE GREATEST HUMBUG OF ALL. 11 CHAPTER II.—DEFINITION OF THE WORD HUMBUG.—WARREN OF LONDON.—GENIN THE HATTER.—GOSLING’S BLACKING. 18 CHAPTER III.—MONSIEUR MANGIN, THE FRENCH HUMBUG. 29 CHAPTER IV.—OLD GRIZZLY ADAMS. 37 CHAPTER V.—THE GOLDEN PIGEONS.—GRIZZLY ADAMS.—GERMAN CHEMIST.—HAPPY FAMILY.—FRENCH NATURALIST. 46 CHAPTER VI.—THE WHALE, THE ANGEL FISH, AND THE GOLDEN PIGEON. 53 CHAPTER VII.—PEASE’S HOARHOUND CANDY.—THE DORR REBELLION.—THE PHILADELPHIA ALDERMAN. 57 CHAPTER VIII.—BRANDRETH’S PILLS.—MAGNIFICENT ADVERTISING.—POWER OF IMAGINATION. 65 II. THE SPIRITUALISTS. CHAPTER IX.—THE DAVENPORT BROTHERS, THEIR RISE AND PROGRESS.—SPIRITUAL ROPE-TYING.—MUSIC PLAYING.—CABINET SECRETS.—“THEY CHOOSE DARKNESS RATHER THAN LIGHT,” ETC.—THE SPIRITUAL HAND.—HOW THE THING IS DONE.—DR. W. F. VAN VLECK. 73 CHAPTER X.—THE SPIRIT-RAPPING AND MEDIUM HUMBUGS.—THEIR ORIGIN.—HOW THE THING IS DONE.—$500 REWARD. 82 CHAPTER XI.—THE “BALLOT TEST.”—THE OLD GENTLEMAN AND HIS “DISEASED” RELATIVES.—A “HUNGRY SPIRIT.”—“PALMING” A BALLOT.—REVELATIONS ON STRIPS OF PAPER. 88 CHAPTER XII.—SPIRITUAL “LETTERS ON THE ARM.”—HOW TO MAKE THEM YOURSELF.—THE TAMBOURINE AND RING FEATS.—DEXTER’S DANCING HATS.—PHOSPHORESCENT OIL.—SOME SPIRITUAL SLANG. 96 CHAPTER XIII.—DEMONSTRATIONS BY “SAMPSON” UNDER A TABLE.—A MEDIUM WHO IS HAPPY WITH HER FEET.—EXPOSÉ OF ANOTHER OPERATOR IN DARK CIRCLES. 102 CHAPTER XIV.—SPIRITUAL PHOTOGRAPHING.—COLORADO JEWETT AND THE SPIRIT PHOTOGRAPHS OF GENERAL JACKSON, HENRY CLAY, DANIEL WEBSTER, STEPHEN A. DOUGLAS, NAPOLEON BONAPARTE, ETC.—A LADY OF DISTINCTION SEEKS AND FINDS A SPIRITUAL PHOTOGRAPH OF HER DECEASED INFANT, AND HER DEAD BROTHER WHO WAS YET ALIVE.—HOW IT WAS DONE. 109 CHAPTER XV.—BANNER OF LIGHT.—MESSAGES FROM THE DEAD.—SPIRITUAL CIVILITIES.—SPIRIT “HOLLERING.”—HANS VON VLEET, THE FEMALE DUTCHMAN.—MRS. CONANT’S “CIRCLES.”—PAINE’S TABLE-TIPPING HUMBUG EXPOSED. 119 CHAPTER XVI.—SPIRITUALIST HUMBUGS WAKING UP.—FOSTER HEARD FROM.—S. B. BRITTAIN HEARD FROM.—THE BOSTON ARTISTS AND THEIR SPIRITUAL PORTRAITS.—THE WASHINGTON MEDIUM AND HIS SPIRITUAL HANDS.—THE DAVENPORT BROTHERS AND THE SEA-CAPTAIN’S WHEAT-FLOUR.—THE DAVENPORT BROTHERS ROUGHLY SHOWN UP BY JOHN BULL.—HOW A SHINGLE “STUMPED” THE SPIRITS. 130 CHAPTER XVII.—THE DAVENPORT BROTHERS SHOWN UP ONCE MORE.—THE SPIRITUALIST BOGUS BABY.—A LADY BRINGS FORTH A MOTIVE FORCE.—“GUM” ARABIC.—SPIRITUALIST HEBREW.—THE ALLEN BOY.—DR. RANDALL.—PORTLAND EVENING COURIER.—THE FOOLS NOT ALL DEAD YET. 145 III. TRADE AND BUSINESS IMPOSITIONS. CHAPTER XVIII.—ADULTERATIONS OF FOOD.—ADULTERATIONS OF LIQUOR.—THE COLONEL’S WHISKEY.—THE HUMBUGOMETER. 152 CHAPTER XIX.—ADULTERATIONS IN DRINKS.—RIDING HOME ON YOUR WINE-BARREL.—LIST OF THINGS TO MAKE RUM.—THINGS TO COLOR IT WITH.—CANAL-BOAT HASH.—ENGLISH ADULTERATION LAW.—EFFECT OF DRUGS USED.—HOW TO USE THEM.—BUYING LIQUORS UNDER THE CUSTOM-HOUSE LOCK.—HOMŒOPATHIC DOSE. 160 CHAPTER XX.—THE PETER FUNKS AND THEIR FUNCTIONS.—THE RURAL DIVINE AND THE WATCH.—RISE AND PROGRESS OF MOCK AUCTIONS.—THEIR DECLINE AND FALL. 167 CHAPTER XXI.—LOTTERY SHARKS.—BOULT AND HIS BROTHERS.—KENNETH, KIMBALL & COMPANY.—A MORE CENTRAL LOCATION WANTED FOR BUSINESS.—TWO SEVENTEENTHLIES.—STRANGE COINCIDENCE. 175 CHAPTER XXII.—ANOTHER LOTTERY HUMBUG.—TWO HUNDRED AND FIFTY RECIPES.—VILE BOOKS.—“ADVANTAGE-CARDS.”—A PACKAGE FOR YOU; PLEASE SEND THE MONEY.—PEDDLING IN WESTERN NEW YORK. 182 CHAPTER XXIII.—A CALIFORNIA COAL MINE.—A HARTFORD COAL MINE.—MYSTERIOUS SUBTERRANEAN CANAL ON THE ISTHMUS. 189 IV. MONEY MANIAS. CHAPTER XXIV.—THE PETROLEUM HUMBUG.—THE NEW YORK AND RANGOON PETROLEUM COMPANY. 195 CHAPTER XXV.—THE TULIPOMANIA. 204 CHAPTER XXVI.—JOHN BULL’S GREAT MONEY HUMBUG.—THE SOUTH SEA BUBBLE IN 1720. 213 CHAPTER XXVII.—BUSINESS HUMBUGS.—JOHN LAW.—THE MISSISSIPPI SCHEME.—JOHNNY CRAPAUD AS GREEDY AS JOHNNY BULL. 221 V. MEDICINE AND QUACKS. CHAPTER XXVIII.—DOCTORS AND IMAGINATION.—FIRING A JOKE OUT OF A CANNON.—THE PARIS EYE WATER.—MAJENDIE ON MEDICAL KNOWLEDGE.—OLD SANDS OF LIFE. 232 CHAPTER XXIX.—THE CONSUMPTIVE REMEDY.—E. ANDREWS, M. D.—BORN WITHOUT BIRTHRIGHTS.—HASHEESH CANDY.—ROBACK THE GREAT.—A CONJUROR OPPOSED TO LYING. 237 CHAPTER XXX.—MONSIGNORE CRISTOFORO RISCHIO; OR IL CRESO, THE NOSTRUM-VENDER OF FLORENCE.—A MODEL FOR OUR QUACK DOCTORS. 242 VI. HOAXES. CHAPTER XXXI.—THE TWENTY-SEVENTH STREET GHOST.—SPIRITS ON THE RAMPAGE. 251 CHAPTER XXXII.—THE MOON HOAX. 259 CHAPTER XXXIII.—THE MISCEGENATION HOAX.—A GREAT LITERARY SELL.—POLITICAL HUMBUGGING.—TRICKS OF THE WIRE-PULLERS.—MACHINERY EMPLOYED TO RENDER THE PAMPHLET NOTORIOUS.—WHO WERE SOLD AND HOW IT WAS DONE. 273 VII. GHOSTS AND WITCHCRAFTS. CHAPTER XXXIV.—HAUNTED HOUSES.—A NIGHT SPENT ALONE WITH A GHOST.—KIRBY THE ACTOR.—COLT’S PISTOLS VERSUS HOBGOBLINS.—THE MYSTERY EXPLAINED. 284 CHAPTER XXXV.—HAUNTED HOUSES.—GHOSTS.—GHOULS.—PHANTOMS.—VAMPIRES.—CONJURORS.—DIVINING—GOBLINS.—FORTUNE-TELLING.—MAGIC.—WITCHES.—SORCERY.—OBI.—DREAMS.—SIGNS.—SPIRITUAL MEDIUMS.—FALSE PROPHETS.—DEMONOLOGY.—DEVILTRY GENERALLY. 293 CHAPTER XXXVI.—MAGICAL HUMBUGS.—VIRGIL.—A PICKLED SORCERER.—CORNELIUS AGRIPPA, HIS STUDENTS AND HIS BLACK DOG.—DOCTOR FAUSTUS.—HUMBUGGING HORSE-JOCKEYS.—ZIITO AND HIS LARGE SWALLOW.—DEVIL TAKE THE HINDERMOST. 300 CHAPTER XXXVII.—WITCHCRAFT.—NEW YORK WITCHES.—THE WITCH MANIA.—HOW FAST THEY BURNED THEM.—THE MODE OF TRIAL.—WITCHES TO-DAY IN EUROPE. 308 CHAPTER XXXVIII.—CHARMS AND INCANTATIONS.—HOW CATO CURED SPRAINS.—THE SECRET NAME OF GOD.—SECRET NAMES OF CITIES.—ABRACADABRA CURES FOR CRAMP.—MR. WRIGHT’S SIGIL.—WHISKERIFUSTICUS.—WITCHES’ HORSES.—THEIR CURSES.—HOW TO RAISE THE DEVIL. 314 VIII. ADVENTURERS. CHAPTER XXXIX.—THE PRINCESS CARIBOO. 323 CHAPTER XL.—COUNT CAGLIOSTRO, ALIAS JOSEPH BALSAMO, KNOWN ALSO AS “CURSED JOE.” 330 CHAPTER XLI.—THE DIAMOND NECKLACE. 338 CHAPTER XLII.—THE COUNT DE ST. GERMAIN, SAGE, PROPHET, AND MAGICIAN. 354 CHAPTER XLIII.—RIZA BEY, THE PERSIAN ENVOY TO LOUIS XIV. 361 IX. RELIGIOUS HUMBUGS. CHAPTER XLIV.—DIAMOND CUT DIAMOND.—MATTHIAS THE IMPOSTOR.—NEW YORK FOLLIES THIRTY YEARS AGO. 370 CHAPTER XLV.—A RELIGIOUS HUMBUG ON JOHN BULL.—JOANNA SOUTHCOTT.—THE SECOND SHILOH. 380 CHAPTER XLVI.—THE FIRST HUMBUG IN THE WORLD.—ADVANTAGES OF STUDYING THE IMPOSITIONS OF FORMER AGES.—HEATHEN HUMBUGS.—THE ANCIENT MYSTERIES.—THE CABIRI.—ELEUSIS.—ISIS. 386 CHAPTER XLVII.—HEATHEN HUMBUGS NO. 2.—HEATHEN STATED SERVICES.—ORACLES.—SIBYLS.—AUGURIES. 392 CHAPTER XLVIII.—MODERN HEATHEN HUMBUGS. 401 CHAPTER XLIX.—ORDEALS. 408 CHAPTER L.—APOLLONIUS OF TYANA. 415 <hr class="chapbreak" /> <h2 class="chapterhead">HUMBUGS OF THE WORLD.</h2> <hr class="declong" /> <h2 class="chapterhead">I. PERSONAL REMINISCENCES.</h2> <div style="break-after:column;"></div>

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