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<h3>CHAPTER LXXVIII</h3>
<h3>The New Ministry<br/> </h3>
<p>When the ex-Prime Minister was left by himself after the departure of
his old friend his first feeling had been one of regret that he had
been weak enough to doubt at all. He had long since made up his mind
that after all that had passed he could not return to office as a
subordinate. That feeling as to the impropriety of Cæsar descending
to serve under others which he had been foolish enough to express,
had been strong with him from the very commencement of his Ministry.
When first asked to take the place which he had filled the reason
strong against it had been the conviction that it would probably
exclude him from political work during the latter half of his life.
The man who has written Q.C. after his name must abandon his practice
behind the bar. As he then was, although he had already been driven
by the unhappy circumstance of his peerage from the House of Commons
which he loved so well, there were still open to him many fields of
political work. But if he should once consent to stand on the top
rung of the ladder, he could not, he thought, take a lower place
without degradation. Till he should have been placed quite at the top
no shifting his place from this higher to that lower office would
injure him in his own estimation. The exigencies of the service and
not defeat would produce such changes as that. But he could not go
down from being Prime Minister and serve under some other chief
without acknowledging himself to have been unfit for the place he had
filled. Of all that he had quite assured himself. And yet he had
allowed the old Duke to talk him into a doubt!</p>
<p>As he sat considering the question he acknowledged that there might
have been room for doubt, though in the present emergency there
certainly was none. He could imagine circumstances in which the
experience of an individual in some special branch of his country's
service might be of such paramount importance to the country as to
make it incumbent on a man to sacrifice all personal feeling. But it
was not so with him. There was nothing now which he could do, which
another might not do as well. That blessed task of introducing
decimals into all the commercial relations of British life, which had
once kept him aloft in the air, floating as upon eagle's wings, had
been denied him. If ever done it must be done from the House of
Commons; and the people of the country had become deaf to the charms
of that great reform. Othello's occupation was, in truth, altogether
gone, and there was no reason by which he could justify to himself
the step down in the world which the old Duke had proposed to him.</p>
<p>Early on the following morning he left Carlton Terrace on foot and
walked as far as Mr. Monk's house, which was close to St. James's
Street. Here at eleven o'clock he found his late Chancellor of the
Exchequer in that state of tedious agitation in which a man is kept
who does not yet know whether he is or is not to be one of the actors
in the play just about to be performed. The Duke had never before
been in Mr. Monk's very humble abode, and now caused some surprise.
Mr. Monk knew that he might probably be sent for, but had not
expected that any of the ex-Prime Ministers of the day would come to
him. People had said that not improbably he himself might be the
man,—but he himself had indulged in no such dream. Office had had no
great charms for him;—and if there was one man of the late
Government who could lay it down without a personal regret, it was
Mr. Monk. "I wish you to come with me to the Duke's house in St.
James's Square," said the late Prime Minister. "I think we shall find
him at home."</p>
<p>"Certainly. I will come this moment." Then there was not a word
spoken till the two men were in the street together. "Of course I am
a little anxious," said Mr. Monk. "Have you anything to tell me
before we get there?"</p>
<p>"You of course must return to office, Mr. Monk."</p>
<p>"With your Grace—I certainly will do so."</p>
<p>"And without, if there be the need. They who are wanted should be
forthcoming. But perhaps you will let me postpone what I have to say
till we see the Duke. What a charming morning;—is it not? How sweet
it would be down in the country." March had gone out like a lamb, and
even in London the early April days were sweet,—to be followed, no
doubt, by the usual nipping inclemency of May. "I never can get over
the feeling," continued the Duke, "that Parliament should sit for the
six winter months, instead of in summer. If we met on the first of
October, how glorious it would be to get away for the early spring!"</p>
<p>"Nothing less strong than grouse could break up Parliament," said Mr.
Monk; "and then what would the pheasants and the foxes say?"</p>
<p>"It is giving up almost too much to our amusements. I used to think
that I should like to move for a return of the number of hunting and
shooting gentlemen in both Houses. I believe it would be a small
minority."</p>
<p>"But their sons shoot, and their daughters hunt, and all their
hangers-on would be against it."</p>
<p>"Custom is against us, Mr. Monk; that is it. Here we are. I hope my
friend will not be out, looking up young Lords of the Treasury." The
Duke of St. Bungay was not in search of cadets for the Government,
but was at this very moment closeted with Mr. Gresham, and Mr.
Gresham's especial friend Lord Cantrip. He had been at this work so
long and so constantly that his very servants had their
ministerial-crisis manners and felt and enjoyed the importance of the
occasion. The two newcomers were soon allowed to enter the august
conclave, and the five great senators greeted each other cordially.
"I hope we have not come inopportunely," said the Duke of Omnium. Mr.
Gresham assured him almost with hilarity that nothing could be less
inopportune;—and then the Duke was sure that Mr. Gresham was to be
the new Prime Minister, whoever might join him or whoever might
refuse to do so. "I told my friend here," continued our Duke, laying
his hand upon the old man's arm, "that I would give him his answer to
a proposition he made me within twenty-four hours. But I find that I
can do so without that delay."</p>
<p>"I trust your Grace's answer may be favourable to us," said Mr.
Gresham,—who indeed did not doubt much that it would be so, seeing
that Mr. Monk had accompanied him.</p>
<p>"I do not think that it will be unfavourable, though I cannot do as
my friend has proposed."</p>
<p>"Any practicable arrangement—" began Mr. Gresham, with a frown,
however, on his brow.</p>
<p>"The most practicable arrangement, I am sure, will be for you to form
your Government without hampering yourself with a beaten
predecessor."</p>
<p>"Not beaten," said Lord Cantrip.</p>
<p>"Certainly not," said the other Duke.</p>
<p>"It is because of your success that I ask your services," said Mr.
Gresham.</p>
<p>"I have none to give,—none that I cannot better bestow out of office
than in. I must ask you, gentlemen, to believe that I am quite fixed.
Coming here with my friend Mr. Monk, I did not state my purpose to
him; but I begged him to accompany me, fearing lest in my absence he
should feel it incumbent on himself to sail in the same boat with his
late colleague."</p>
<p>"I should prefer to do so," said Mr. Monk.</p>
<p>"Of course it is not for me to say what may be Mr. Gresham's ideas;
but as my friend here suggested to me that, were I to return to
office, Mr. Monk would do so also, I cannot be wrong in surmising
that his services are desired." Mr. Gresham bowed assent. "I shall
therefore take the liberty of telling Mr. Monk that I think he is
bound to give his aid in the present emergency. Were I as happily
placed as he is in being the possessor of a seat in the House of
Commons, I too should hope that I might do something."</p>
<p>The four gentlemen, with eager pressure, begged the Duke to
reconsider his decision. He could take this office and do nothing in
it,—there being, as we all know, offices the holders of which are
not called upon for work,—or he could take that place which would
require him to labour like a galley slave. Would he be Privy Seal?
Would he undertake the India Board? But the Duke of Omnium was at
last resolute. Of this administration he would not at any rate be a
member. Whether Cæsar might or might not at some future time
condescend to command a legion, he could not do so when the purple
had been but that moment stripped from his shoulders. He soon
afterwards left the house with a repeated request to Mr. Monk that he
would not follow his late chief's example.</p>
<p>"I regret it greatly," said Mr. Gresham when he was gone.</p>
<p>"There is no man," said Lord Cantrip, "whom all who know him more
thoroughly respect."</p>
<p>"He has been worried," said the old Duke, "and must take time to
recover himself. He has but one fault,—he is a little too
conscientious, a little too scrupulous." Mr. Monk, of course, did
join them, making one or two stipulations as he did so. He required
that his friend Phineas Finn should be included in the Government.
Mr. Gresham yielded, though poor Phineas was not among the most
favoured friends of that statesman. And so the Government was formed,
and the crisis was again over, and the lists which all the newspapers
had been publishing for the last three days were republished in an
amended and nearly correct condition. The triumph of the "People's
Banner," as to the omission of the Duke, was of course complete. The
editor had no hesitation in declaring that he, by his own sagacity
and persistency, had made certain the exclusion of that very unfit
and very pressing candidate for office.</p>
<p>The list was filled up after the usual fashion. For a while the
dilettanti politicians of the clubs, and the strong-minded women who
take an interest in such things, and the writers in newspapers, had
almost doubted whether, in the emergency which had been supposed to
be so peculiar, any Government could be formed. There had been,—so
they had said,—peculiarities so peculiar that it might be that the
much-dreaded deadlock had come at last. A Coalition had been possible
and, though antagonistic to British feelings generally, had carried
on the Government. But what might succeed the Coalition, nobody had
known. The Radicals and Liberals together would be too strong for Mr.
Daubeny and Sir Orlando. Mr. Gresham had no longer a party of his own
at his back, and a second Coalition would be generally spurned. In
this way there had been much political excitement, and a fair amount
of consequent enjoyment. But after a few days the old men had rattled
into their old places,—or, generally, old men into new places,—and
it was understood that Mr. Gresham would be again supported by a
majority.</p>
<p>As we grow old it is a matter of interest to watch how the natural
gaps are filled in the two ranks of parliamentary workmen by whom the
Government is carried on, either in the one interest or the other. Of
course there must be gaps. Some men become too old,—though that is
rarely the case. A Peel may perish, or even a Palmerston must die.
Some men, though long supported by interest, family connection, or
the loyalty of colleagues, are weighed down at last by their own
incapacity and sink into peerages. Now and again a man cannot bear
the bondage of office, and flies into rebellion and independence
which would have been more respectable had it not been the result of
discontent. Then the gaps must be filled. Whether on this side or on
that, the candidates are first looked for among the sons of Earls and
Dukes,—and not unnaturally, as the sons of Earls and Dukes may be
educated for such work almost from their infancy. A few rise by the
slow process of acknowledged fitness,—men who probably at first have
not thought of office but are chosen because they are wanted, and
whose careers are grudged them, not by their opponents or rivals, but
by the Browns and Joneses of the world who cannot bear to see a Smith
or a Walker become something so different to themselves. These men
have a great weight to carry, and cannot always shake off the burden
of their origin and live among begotten statesmen as though they too
had been born to the manner. But perhaps the most wonderful
ministerial phenomenon,—though now almost too common to be longer
called a phenomenon,—is he who rises high in power and place by
having made himself thoroughly detested and also,—alas for
parliamentary cowardice!—thoroughly feared. Given sufficient
audacity, a thick skin, and power to bear for a few years the evil
looks and cold shoulders of his comrades, and that is the man most
sure to make his way to some high seat. But the skin must be thicker
than that of any animal known, and the audacity must be complete. To
the man who will once shrink at the idea of being looked at askance
for treachery, or hated for his ill condition, the career is
impossible. But let him be obdurate, and the bid will come. "Not
because I want him, do I ask for him," says some groaning chief of a
party,—to himself, and also sufficiently aloud for others'
ears,—"but because he stings me and goads me, and will drive me to
madness as a foe." Then the pachydermatous one enters into the
other's heaven, probably with the resolution already formed of
ousting that unhappy angel. And so it was in the present instance.
When Mr. Gresham's completed list was published to the world, the
world was astonished to find that Sir Timothy was to be Mr. Gresham's
Attorney-General. Sir Gregory Grogram became Lord Chancellor, and the
Liberal chief was content to borrow his senior law adviser from the
Conservative side of the late Coalition. It could not be that Mr.
Gresham was very fond of Sir Timothy;—but Sir Timothy in the late
debates had shown himself to be a man of whom a minister might well
be afraid.</p>
<p>Immediately on leaving the old Duke's house, the late Premier went
home to his wife, and, finding that she was out, waited for her
return. Now that he had put his own decision beyond his own power he
was anxious to let her know how it was to be with them. "I think it
is settled at last," he said.</p>
<p>"And you are coming back?"</p>
<p>"Certainly not that. I believe I may say that Mr. Gresham is Prime
Minister."</p>
<p>"Then he oughtn't to be," said the Duchess crossly.</p>
<p>"I am sorry that I must differ from you, my dear, because I think he
is the fittest man in England for the place."</p>
<p>"And you?"</p>
<p>"I am a private gentleman who will now be able to devote more of his
time to his wife and children than has hitherto been possible with
him."</p>
<p>"How very nice! Do you mean to say that you like it?"</p>
<p>"I am sure that I ought to like it. At the present moment I am
thinking more of what you will like."</p>
<p>"If you ask me, Plantagenet, you know I shall tell the truth."</p>
<p>"Then tell the truth."</p>
<p>"After drinking brandy so long I hardly think that 12s. claret will
agree with my stomach. You ask for the truth, and there it is,—very
plainly."</p>
<p>"Plain enough!"</p>
<p>"You asked, you know."</p>
<p>"And I am glad to have been told, even though that which you tell me
is not pleasant hearing. When a man has been drinking too much
brandy, it may be well that he should be put on a course of 12s.
claret."</p>
<p>"He won't like it; and then,—it's kill or cure."</p>
<p>"I don't think you're gone so far, Cora, that we need fear that the
remedy will be fatal."</p>
<p>"I am thinking of you rather than myself. I can make myself generally
disagreeable, and get excitement in that way. But what will you do?
It's all very well to talk of me and the children, but you can't
bring in a Bill for reforming us. You can't make us go by decimals.
You can't increase our consumption by lowering our taxation. I wish
you had gone back to some Board." This she said looking up into his
face with an anxiety which was half real and half burlesque.</p>
<p>"I had made up my mind to go back to no Board,—for the present. I
was thinking that we could spend some months in Italy, Cora."</p>
<p>"What; for the summer;—so as to be in Rome in July! After that we
could utilise the winter by visiting Norway."</p>
<p>"We might take Norway first."</p>
<p>"And be eaten up by mosquitoes! I've got to be too old to like
travelling."</p>
<p>"What do you like, dear?"</p>
<p>"Nothing;—except being the Prime Minister's wife; and upon my word
there were times when I didn't like that very much. I don't know
anything else that I'm fit for. I wonder whether Mr. Gresham would
let me go to him as housekeeper? Only we should have to lend him
Gatherum, or there would be no room for the display of my abilities.
Is Mr. Monk in?"</p>
<p>"He keeps his old office."</p>
<p>"And Mr. Finn?"</p>
<p>"I believe so; but in what place I don't know."</p>
<p>"And who else?"</p>
<p>"Our old friend the Duke, and Lord Cantrip, and Mr. Wilson,—and Sir
Gregory will be Lord Chancellor."</p>
<p>"Just the old stupid Liberal team. Put their names in a bag and shake
them, and you can always get a ministry. Well, Plantagenet;—I'll go
anywhere you like to take me. I'll have something for the malaria at
Rome, and something for the mosquitoes in Norway, and will make the
best of it. But I don't see why you should run away in the middle of
the Session. I would stay and pitch into them, all round, like a true
ex-minister and independent member of Parliament." Then as he was
leaving her she fired a last shot. "I hope you made Sir Orlando and
Sir Timothy peers before you gave up."</p>
<p>It was not till two days after this that she read in one of the daily
papers that Sir Timothy Beeswax was to be Attorney-General, and then
her patience almost deserted her. To tell the truth, her husband had
not dared to mention the appointment when he first saw her after
hearing it. Her explosion first fell on the head of Phineas Finn,
whom she found at home with his wife, deploring the necessity which
had fallen upon him of filling the fainéant office of Chancellor of
the Duchy of Lancaster. "Mr. Finn," she said, "I congratulate you on
your colleagues."</p>
<p>"Your Grace is very good. I was at any rate introduced to many of
them under the Duke's auspices."</p>
<p>"And ought, I think, to have seen enough of them to be ashamed of
them. Such a regiment to march through Coventry with!"</p>
<p>"I do not doubt that we shall be good enough men for any enemies we
may meet."</p>
<p>"It cannot but be that you should conquer all the world with such a
hero among you as Sir Timothy Beeswax. The idea of Sir Timothy coming
back again! What do you feel about it?"</p>
<p>"Very indifferent, Duchess. He won't interfere much with me, as I
have an Attorney-General of my own. You see I'm especially safe."</p>
<p>"I do believe men would do anything," said the Duchess, turning to
Mrs. Finn. "Of course I mean in the way of politics! But I did not
think it possible that the Duke of St. Bungay should again be in the
same Government with Sir Timothy Beeswax."</p>
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