<h2>CHAPTER XX—COFFEE-HOUSES AND DOSS-HOUSES</h2>
<p>Another phrase gone glimmering, shorn of romance and tradition and
all that goes to make phrases worth keeping! For me, henceforth,
“coffee-house” will possess anything but an agreeable connotation.
Over on the other side of the world, the mere mention of the word was
sufficient to conjure up whole crowds of its historic frequenters, and
to send trooping through my imagination endless groups of wits and dandies,
pamphleteers and bravos, and bohemians of Grub Street.</p>
<p>But here, on this side of the world, alas and alack, the very name
is a misnomer. Coffee-house: a place where people drink coffee.
Not at all. You cannot obtain coffee in such a place for love
or money. True, you may call for coffee, and you will have brought
you something in a cup purporting to be coffee, and you will taste it
and be disillusioned, for coffee it certainly is not.</p>
<p>And what is true of the coffee is true of the coffee-house.
Working-men, in the main, frequent these places, and greasy, dirty places
they are, without one thing about them to cherish decency in a man or
put self-respect into him. Table-cloths and napkins are unknown.
A man eats in the midst of the débris left by his predecessor,
and dribbles his own scraps about him and on the floor. In rush
times, in such places, I have positively waded through the muck and
mess that covered the floor, and I have managed to eat because I was
abominably hungry and capable of eating anything.</p>
<p>This seems to be the normal condition of the working-man, from the
zest with which he addresses himself to the board. Eating is a
necessity, and there are no frills about it. He brings in with
him a primitive voraciousness, and, I am confident, carries away with
him a fairly healthy appetite. When you see such a man, on his
way to work in the morning, order a pint of tea, which is no more tea
than it is ambrosia, pull a hunk of dry bread from his pocket, and wash
the one down with the other, depend upon it, that man has not the right
sort of stuff in his belly, nor enough of the wrong sort of stuff, to
fit him for big day’s work. And further, depend upon it,
he and a thousand of his kind will not turn out the quantity or quality
of work that a thousand men will who have eaten heartily of meat and
potatoes, and drunk coffee that is coffee.</p>
<p>As a vagrant in the “Hobo” of a California jail, I have
been served better food and drink than the London workman receives in
his coffee-houses; while as an American labourer I have eaten a breakfast
for twelvepence such as the British labourer would not dream of eating.
Of course, he will pay only three or four pence for his; which is, however,
as much as I paid, for I would be earning six shillings to his two or
two and a half. On the other hand, though, and in return, I would
turn out an amount of work in the course of the day that would put to
shame the amount he turned out. So there are two sides to it.
The man with the high standard of living will always do more work and
better than the man with the low standard of living.</p>
<p>There is a comparison which sailormen make between the English and
American merchant services. In an English ship, they say, it is
poor grub, poor pay, and easy work; in an American ship, good grub,
good pay, and hard work. And this is applicable to the working
populations of both countries. The ocean greyhounds have to pay
for speed and steam, and so does the workman. But if the workman
is not able to pay for it, he will not have the speed and steam, that
is all. The proof of it is when the English workman comes to America.
He will lay more bricks in New York than he will in London, still more
bricks in St. Louis, and still more bricks when he gets to San Francisco.
<SPAN name="citation3"></SPAN><SPAN href="#footnote3">{3}</SPAN> His standard
of living has been rising all the time.</p>
<p>Early in the morning, along the streets frequented by workmen on
the way to work, many women sit on the sidewalk with sacks of bread
beside them. No end of workmen purchase these, and eat them as
they walk along. They do not even wash the dry bread down with
the tea to be obtained for a penny in the coffee-houses. It is
incontestable that a man is not fit to begin his day’s work on
a meal like that; and it is equally incontestable that the loss will
fall upon his employer and upon the nation. For some time, now,
statesmen have been crying, “Wake up, England!” It
would show more hard-headed common sense if they changed the tune to
“Feed up, England!”</p>
<p>Not only is the worker poorly fed, but he is filthily fed.
I have stood outside a butcher-shop and watched a horde of speculative
housewives turning over the trimmings and scraps and shreds of beef
and mutton—dog-meat in the States. I would not vouch for
the clean fingers of these housewives, no more than I would vouch for
the cleanliness of the single rooms in which many of them and their
families lived; yet they raked, and pawed, and scraped the mess about
in their anxiety to get the worth of their coppers. I kept my
eye on one particularly offensive-looking bit of meat, and followed
it through the clutches of over twenty women, till it fell to the lot
of a timid-appearing little woman whom the butcher bluffed into taking
it. All day long this heap of scraps was added to and taken away
from, the dust and dirt of the street falling upon it, flies settling
on it, and the dirty fingers turning it over and over.</p>
<p>The costers wheel loads of specked and decaying fruit around in the
barrows all day, and very often store it in their one living and sleeping
room for the night. There it is exposed to the sickness and disease,
the effluvia and vile exhalations of overcrowded and rotten life, and
next day it is carted about again to be sold.</p>
<p>The poor worker of the East End never knows what it is to eat good,
wholesome meat or fruit—in fact, he rarely eats meat or fruit
at all; while the skilled workman has nothing to boast of in the way
of what he eats. Judging from the coffee-houses, which is a fair
criterion, they never know in all their lives what tea, coffee, or cocoa
tastes like. The slops and water-witcheries of the coffee-houses,
varying only in sloppiness and witchery, never even approximate or suggest
what you and I are accustomed to drink as tea and coffee.</p>
<p>A little incident comes to me, connected with a coffee-house not
far from Jubilee Street on the Mile End Road.</p>
<p>“Cawn yer let me ’ave somethin’ for this, daughter?
Anythin’, Hi don’t mind. Hi ’aven’t ’ad
a bite the blessed dy, an’ Hi’m that fynt . . . ”</p>
<p>She was an old woman, clad in decent black rags, and in her hand
she held a penny. The one she had addressed as “daughter”
was a careworn woman of forty, proprietress and waitress of the house.</p>
<p>I waited, possibly as anxiously as the old woman, to see how the
appeal would be received. It was four in the afternoon, and she
looked faint and sick. The woman hesitated an instant, then brought
a large plate of “stewed lamb and young peas.” I was
eating a plate of it myself, and it is my judgment that the lamb was
mutton and that the peas might have been younger without being youthful.
However, the point is, the dish was sold at sixpence, and the proprietress
gave it for a penny, demonstrating anew the old truth that the poor
are the most charitable.</p>
<p>The old woman, profuse in her gratitude, took a seat on the other
side of the narrow table and ravenously attacked the smoking stew.
We ate steadily and silently, the pair of us, when suddenly, explosively
and most gleefully, she cried out to me,—</p>
<p>“Hi sold a box o’ matches! Yus,” she confirmed,
if anything with greater and more explosive glee. “Hi sold
a box o’ matches! That’s ’ow Hi got the penny.”</p>
<p>“You must be getting along in years,” I suggested.</p>
<p>“Seventy-four yesterday,” she replied, and returned with
gusto to her plate.</p>
<p>“Blimey, I’d like to do something for the old girl, that
I would, but this is the first I’ve ’ad to-dy,” the
young fellow alongside volunteered to me. “An’ I only
’ave this because I ’appened to make an odd shilling washin’
out, Lord lumme! I don’t know ’ow many pots.”</p>
<p>“No work at my own tryde for six weeks,” he said further,
in reply to my questions; “nothin’ but odd jobs a blessed
long wy between.”</p>
<p>* * * * *</p>
<p>One meets with all sorts of adventures in coffee-house, and I shall
not soon forget a Cockney Amazon in a place near Trafalgar Square, to
whom I tendered a sovereign when paying my score. (By the way,
one is supposed to pay before he begins to eat, and if he be poorly
dressed he is compelled to pay before he eats).</p>
<p>The girl bit the gold piece between her teeth, rang it on the counter,
and then looked me and my rags witheringly up and down.</p>
<p>“Where’d you find it?” she at length demanded.</p>
<p>“Some mug left it on the table when he went out, eh, don’t
you think?” I retorted.</p>
<p>“Wot’s yer gyme?” she queried, looking me calmly
in the eyes.</p>
<p>“I makes ’em,” quoth I.</p>
<p>She sniffed superciliously and gave me the change in small silver,
and I had my revenge by biting and ringing every piece of it.</p>
<p>“I’ll give you a ha’penny for another lump of sugar
in the tea,” I said.</p>
<p>“I’ll see you in ’ell first,” came the retort
courteous. Also, she amplified the retort courteous in divers
vivid and unprintable ways.</p>
<p>I never had much talent for repartee, but she knocked silly what
little I had, and I gulped down my tea a beaten man, while she gloated
after me even as I passed out to the street.</p>
<p>While 300,000 people of London live in one-room tenements, and 900,000
are illegally and viciously housed, 38,000 more are registered as living
in common lodging-houses—known in the vernacular as “doss-houses.”
There are many kinds of doss-houses, but in one thing they are all alike,
from the filthy little ones to the monster big ones paying five per
cent. and blatantly lauded by smug middle-class men who know but one
thing about them, and that one thing is their uninhabitableness.
By this I do not mean that the roofs leak or the walls are draughty;
but what I do mean is that life in them is degrading and unwholesome.</p>
<p>“The poor man’s hotel,” they are often called,
but the phrase is caricature. Not to possess a room to one’s
self, in which sometimes to sit alone; to be forced out of bed willy-nilly,
the first thing in the morning; to engage and pay anew for a bed each
night; and never to have any privacy, surely is a mode of existence
quite different from that of hotel life.</p>
<p>This must not be considered a sweeping condemnation of the big private
and municipal lodging-houses and working-men’s homes. Far
from it. They have remedied many of the atrocities attendant upon
the irresponsible small doss-houses, and they give the workman more
for his money than he ever received before; but that does not make them
as habitable or wholesome as the dwelling-place of a man should be who
does his work in the world.</p>
<p>The little private doss-houses, as a rule, are unmitigated horrors.
I have slept in them, and I know; but let me pass them by and confine
myself to the bigger and better ones. Not far from Middlesex Street,
Whitechapel, I entered such a house, a place inhabited almost entirely
by working men. The entrance was by way of a flight of steps descending
from the sidewalk to what was properly the cellar of the building.
Here were two large and gloomily lighted rooms, in which men cooked
and ate. I had intended to do some cooking myself, but the smell
of the place stole away my appetite, or, rather, wrested it from me;
so I contented myself with watching other men cook and eat.</p>
<p>One workman, home from work, sat down opposite me at the rough wooden
table, and began his meal. A handful of salt on the not over-clean
table constituted his butter. Into it he dipped his bread, mouthful
by mouthful, and washed it down with tea from a big mug. A piece
of fish completed his bill of fare. He ate silently, looking neither
to right nor left nor across at me. Here and there, at the various
tables, other men were eating, just as silently. In the whole
room there was hardly a note of conversation. A feeling of gloom
pervaded the ill-lighted place. Many of them sat and brooded over
the crumbs of their repast, and made me wonder, as Childe Roland wondered,
what evil they had done that they should be punished so.</p>
<p>From the kitchen came the sounds of more genial life, and I ventured
into the range where the men were cooking. But the smell I had
noticed on entering was stronger here, and a rising nausea drove me
into the street for fresh air.</p>
<p>On my return I paid fivepence for a “cabin,” took my
receipt for the same in the form of a huge brass check, and went upstairs
to the smoking-room. Here, a couple of small billiard tables and
several checkerboards were being used by young working-men, who waited
in relays for their turn at the games, while many men were sitting around,
smoking, reading, and mending their clothes. The young men were
hilarious, the old men were gloomy. In fact, there were two types
of men, the cheerful and the sodden or blue, and age seemed to determine
the classification.</p>
<p>But no more than the two cellar rooms did this room convey the remotest
suggestion of home. Certainly there could be nothing home-like
about it to you and me, who know what home really is. On the walls
were the most preposterous and insulting notices regulating the conduct
of the guests, and at ten o’clock the lights were put out, and
nothing remained but bed. This was gained by descending again
to the cellar, by surrendering the brass check to a burly doorkeeper,
and by climbing a long flight of stairs into the upper regions.
I went to the top of the building and down again, passing several floors
filled with sleeping men. The “cabins” were the best
accommodation, each cabin allowing space for a tiny bed and room alongside
of it in which to undress. The bedding was clean, and with neither
it nor the bed do I find any fault. But there was no privacy about
it, no being alone.</p>
<p>To get an adequate idea of a floor filled with cabins, you have merely
to magnify a layer of the pasteboard pigeon-holes of an egg-crate till
each pigeon-hole is seven feet in height and otherwise properly dimensioned,
then place the magnified layer on the floor of a large, barnlike room,
and there you have it. There are no ceilings to the pigeon-holes,
the walls are thin, and the snores from all the sleepers and every move
and turn of your nearer neighbours come plainly to your ears.
And this cabin is yours only for a little while. In the morning
out you go. You cannot put your trunk in it, or come and go when
you like, or lock the door behind you, or anything of the sort.
In fact, there is no door at all, only a doorway. If you care
to remain a guest in this poor man’s hotel, you must put up with
all this, and with prison regulations which impress upon you constantly
that you are nobody, with little soul of your own and less to say about
it.</p>
<p>Now I contend that the least a man who does his day’s work
should have is a room to himself, where he can lock the door and be
safe in his possessions; where he can sit down and read by a window
or look out; where he can come and go whenever he wishes; where he can
accumulate a few personal belongings other than those he carries about
with him on his back and in his pockets; where he can hang up pictures
of his mother, sister, sweet-heart, ballet dancers, or bulldogs, as
his heart listeth—in short, one place of his own on the earth
of which he can say: “This is mine, my castle; the world stops
at the threshold; here am I lord and master.” He will be
a better citizen, this man; and he will do a better day’s work.</p>
<p>I stood on one floor of the poor man’s hotel and listened.
I went from bed to bed and looked at the sleepers. They were young
men, from twenty to forty, most of them. Old men cannot afford
the working-man’s home. They go to the workhouse.
But I looked at the young men, scores of them, and they were not bad-looking
fellows. Their faces were made for women’s kisses, their
necks for women’s arms. They were lovable, as men are lovable.
They were capable of love. A woman’s touch redeems and softens,
and they needed such redemption and softening instead of each day growing
harsh and harsher. And I wondered where these women were, and
heard a “harlot’s ginny laugh.” Leman Street,
Waterloo Road, Piccadilly, The Strand, answered me, and I knew where
they were.</p>
<div style="break-after:column;"></div><br />