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<p>Chapter XIV. 'Le Roi est mort—vive le Roi.'</p>
<p>Toward daylight of the same morning, Tom Canty stirred out of a heavy
sleep and opened his eyes in the dark. He lay silent a few moments,
trying to analyse his confused thoughts and impressions, and get some sort
of meaning out of them; then suddenly he burst out in a rapturous but
guarded voice—</p>
<p>"I see it all, I see it all! Now God be thanked, I am indeed awake
at last! Come, joy! vanish, sorrow! Ho, Nan! Bet! kick off
your straw and hie ye hither to my side, till I do pour into your
unbelieving ears the wildest madcap dream that ever the spirits of night
did conjure up to astonish the soul of man withal! . . . Ho, Nan, I say!
Bet!"</p>
<p>A dim form appeared at his side, and a voice said—</p>
<p>"Wilt deign to deliver thy commands?"</p>
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<p>"Commands? . . . O, woe is me, I know thy voice! Speak thou—who
am I?"</p>
<p>"Thou? In sooth, yesternight wert thou the Prince of Wales; to-day
art thou my most gracious liege, Edward, King of England."</p>
<p>Tom buried his head among his pillows, murmuring plaintively—</p>
<p>"Alack, it was no dream! Go to thy rest, sweet sir—leave me to
my sorrows."</p>
<p>Tom slept again, and after a time he had this pleasant dream. He
thought it was summer, and he was playing, all alone, in the fair meadow
called Goodman's Fields, when a dwarf only a foot high, with long red
whiskers and a humped back, appeared to him suddenly and said, "Dig by
that stump." He did so, and found twelve bright new pennies—wonderful
riches! Yet this was not the best of it; for the dwarf said—</p>
<p>"I know thee. Thou art a good lad, and a deserving; thy distresses
shall end, for the day of thy reward is come. Dig here every seventh
day, and thou shalt find always the same treasure, twelve bright new
pennies. Tell none—keep the secret."</p>
<p>Then the dwarf vanished, and Tom flew to Offal Court with his prize,
saying to himself, "Every night will I give my father a penny; he will
think I begged it, it will glad his heart, and I shall no more be beaten.
One penny every week the good priest that teacheth me shall have; mother,
Nan, and Bet the other four. We be done with hunger and rags, now, done
with fears and frets and savage usage."</p>
<p>In his dream he reached his sordid home all out of breath, but with eyes
dancing with grateful enthusiasm; cast four of his pennies into his
mother's lap and cried out—</p>
<p>"They are for thee!—all of them, every one!—for thee and Nan
and Bet—and honestly come by, not begged nor stolen!"</p>
<p>The happy and astonished mother strained him to her breast and exclaimed—</p>
<p>"It waxeth late—may it please your Majesty to rise?"</p>
<p>Ah! that was not the answer he was expecting. The dream had snapped
asunder—he was awake.</p>
<p>He opened his eyes—the richly clad First Lord of the Bedchamber was
kneeling by his couch. The gladness of the lying dream faded away—the
poor boy recognised that he was still a captive and a king. The room
was filled with courtiers clothed in purple mantles—the mourning
colour—and with noble servants of the monarch. Tom sat up in
bed and gazed out from the heavy silken curtains upon this fine company.</p>
<p>The weighty business of dressing began, and one courtier after another
knelt and paid his court and offered to the little King his condolences
upon his heavy loss, whilst the dressing proceeded. In the
beginning, a shirt was taken up by the Chief Equerry in Waiting, who
passed it to the First Lord of the Buckhounds, who passed it to the Second
Gentleman of the Bedchamber, who passed it to the Head Ranger of Windsor
Forest, who passed it to the Third Groom of the Stole, who passed it to
the Chancellor Royal of the Duchy of Lancaster, who passed it to the
Master of the Wardrobe, who passed it to Norroy King-at-Arms, who passed
it to the Constable of the Tower, who passed it to the Chief Steward of
the Household, who passed it to the Hereditary Grand Diaperer, who passed
it to the Lord High Admiral of England, who passed it to the Archbishop of
Canterbury, who passed it to the First Lord of the Bedchamber, who took
what was left of it and put it on Tom. Poor little wondering chap,
it reminded him of passing buckets at a fire.</p>
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<p>Each garment in its turn had to go through this slow and solemn process;
consequently Tom grew very weary of the ceremony; so weary that he felt an
almost gushing gratefulness when he at last saw his long silken hose begin
the journey down the line and knew that the end of the matter was drawing
near. But he exulted too soon. The First Lord of the
Bedchamber received the hose and was about to encase Tom's legs in them,
when a sudden flush invaded his face and he hurriedly hustled the things
back into the hands of the Archbishop of Canterbury with an astounded look
and a whispered, "See, my lord!" pointing to a something connected with
the hose. The Archbishop paled, then flushed, and passed the hose to
the Lord High Admiral, whispering, "See, my lord!" The Admiral
passed the hose to the Hereditary Grand Diaperer, and had hardly breath
enough in his body to ejaculate, "See, my lord!" The hose drifted
backward along the line, to the Chief Steward of the Household, the
Constable of the Tower, Norroy King-at-Arms, the Master of the Wardrobe,
the Chancellor Royal of the Duchy of Lancaster, the Third Groom of the
Stole, the Head Ranger of Windsor Forest, the Second Gentleman of the
Bedchamber, the First Lord of the Buckhounds,—accompanied always
with that amazed and frightened "See! see!"—till they finally
reached the hands of the Chief Equerry in Waiting, who gazed a moment,
with a pallid face, upon what had caused all this dismay, then hoarsely
whispered, "Body of my life, a tag gone from a truss-point!—to the
Tower with the Head Keeper of the King's Hose!"—after which he
leaned upon the shoulder of the First Lord of the Buckhounds to regather
his vanished strength whilst fresh hose, without any damaged strings to
them, were brought.</p>
<p>But all things must have an end, and so in time Tom Canty was in a
condition to get out of bed. The proper official poured water, the
proper official engineered the washing, the proper official stood by with
a towel, and by-and-by Tom got safely through the purifying stage and was
ready for the services of the Hairdresser-royal. When he at length
emerged from this master's hands, he was a gracious figure and as pretty
as a girl, in his mantle and trunks of purple satin, and purple-plumed
cap. He now moved in state toward his breakfast-room, through the
midst of the courtly assemblage; and as he passed, these fell back,
leaving his way free, and dropped upon their knees.</p>
<p>After breakfast he was conducted, with regal ceremony, attended by his
great officers and his guard of fifty Gentlemen Pensioners bearing gilt
battle-axes, to the throne-room, where he proceeded to transact business
of state. His 'uncle,' Lord Hertford, took his stand by the throne,
to assist the royal mind with wise counsel.</p>
<p>The body of illustrious men named by the late King as his executors
appeared, to ask Tom's approval of certain acts of theirs—rather a
form, and yet not wholly a form, since there was no Protector as yet.
The Archbishop of Canterbury made report of the decree of the
Council of Executors concerning the obsequies of his late most illustrious
Majesty, and finished by reading the signatures of the Executors, to wit:
the Archbishop of Canterbury; the Lord Chancellor of England;
William Lord St. John; John Lord Russell; Edward Earl of Hertford; John
Viscount Lisle; Cuthbert Bishop of Durham—</p>
<p>Tom was not listening—an earlier clause of the document was puzzling
him. At this point he turned and whispered to Lord Hertford—</p>
<p>"What day did he say the burial hath been appointed for?"</p>
<p>"The sixteenth of the coming month, my liege."</p>
<p>"'Tis a strange folly. Will he keep?"</p>
<p>Poor chap, he was still new to the customs of royalty; he was used to
seeing the forlorn dead of Offal Court hustled out of the way with a very
different sort of expedition. However, the Lord Hertford set his
mind at rest with a word or two.</p>
<p>A secretary of state presented an order of the Council appointing the
morrow at eleven for the reception of the foreign ambassadors, and desired
the King's assent.</p>
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<p>Tom turned an inquiring look toward Hertford, who whispered—</p>
<p>"Your Majesty will signify consent. They come to testify their royal
masters' sense of the heavy calamity which hath visited your Grace and the
realm of England."</p>
<p>Tom did as he was bidden. Another secretary began to read a preamble
concerning the expenses of the late King's household, which had amounted
to 28,000 pounds during the preceding six months—a sum so vast that
it made Tom Canty gasp; he gasped again when the fact appeared that 20,000
pounds of this money was still owing and unpaid; {4} and once more when it
appeared that the King's coffers were about empty, and his twelve hundred
servants much embarrassed for lack of the wages due them. Tom spoke
out, with lively apprehension—</p>
<p>"We be going to the dogs, 'tis plain. 'Tis meet and necessary that
we take a smaller house and set the servants at large, sith they be of no
value but to make delay, and trouble one with offices that harass the
spirit and shame the soul, they misbecoming any but a doll, that hath nor
brains nor hands to help itself withal. I remember me of a small
house that standeth over against the fish-market, by Billingsgate—"</p>
<p>A sharp pressure upon Tom's arm stopped his foolish tongue and sent a
blush to his face; but no countenance there betrayed any sign that this
strange speech had been remarked or given concern.</p>
<p>A secretary made report that forasmuch as the late King had provided in
his will for conferring the ducal degree upon the Earl of Hertford and
raising his brother, Sir Thomas Seymour, to the peerage, and likewise
Hertford's son to an earldom, together with similar aggrandisements to
other great servants of the Crown, the Council had resolved to hold a
sitting on the 16th of February for the delivering and confirming of these
honours, and that meantime, the late King not having granted, in writing,
estates suitable to the support of these dignities, the Council, knowing
his private wishes in that regard, had thought proper to grant to Seymour
'500 pound lands,' and to Hertford's son '800 pound lands, and 300 pound
of the next bishop's lands which should fall vacant,'—his present
Majesty being willing. {5}</p>
<p>Tom was about to blurt out something about the propriety of paying the
late King's debts first, before squandering all this money, but a timely
touch upon his arm, from the thoughtful Hertford, saved him this
indiscretion; wherefore he gave the royal assent, without spoken comment,
but with much inward discomfort. While he sat reflecting a moment
over the ease with which he was doing strange and glittering miracles, a
happy thought shot into his mind: why not make his mother Duchess of
Offal Court, and give her an estate? But a sorrowful thought swept
it instantly away: he was only a king in name, these grave veterans and
great nobles were his masters; to them his mother was only the creature of
a diseased mind; they would simply listen to his project with unbelieving
ears, then send for the doctor.</p>
<p>The dull work went tediously on. Petitions were read, and
proclamations, patents, and all manner of wordy, repetitious, and
wearisome papers relating to the public business; and at last Tom sighed
pathetically and murmured to himself, "In what have I offended, that the
good God should take me away from the fields and the free air and the
sunshine, to shut me up here and make me a king and afflict me so?" Then
his poor muddled head nodded a while and presently drooped to his
shoulder; and the business of the empire came to a standstill for want of
that august factor, the ratifying power. Silence ensued around the
slumbering child, and the sages of the realm ceased from their
deliberations.</p>
<p>During the forenoon, Tom had an enjoyable hour, by permission of his
keepers, Hertford and St. John, with the Lady Elizabeth and the little
Lady Jane Grey; though the spirits of the princesses were rather subdued
by the mighty stroke that had fallen upon the royal house; and at the end
of the visit his 'elder sister'—afterwards the 'Bloody Mary' of
history—chilled him with a solemn interview which had but one merit
in his eyes, its brevity. He had a few moments to himself, and then
a slim lad of about twelve years of age was admitted to his presence,
whose clothing, except his snowy ruff and the laces about his wrists, was
of black,—doublet, hose, and all. He bore no badge of mourning
but a knot of purple ribbon on his shoulder. He advanced
hesitatingly, with head bowed and bare, and dropped upon one knee in front
of Tom. Tom sat still and contemplated him soberly a moment. Then he
said—</p>
<p>"Rise, lad. Who art thou. What wouldst have?"</p>
<p>The boy rose, and stood at graceful ease, but with an aspect of concern in
his face. He said—</p>
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<p>"Of a surety thou must remember me, my lord. I am thy whipping-boy."</p>
<p>"My <i>whipping</i>-boy?"</p>
<p>"The same, your Grace. I am Humphrey—Humphrey Marlow."</p>
<p>Tom perceived that here was someone whom his keepers ought to have posted
him about. The situation was delicate. What should he do?—pretend
he knew this lad, and then betray by his every utterance that he had never
heard of him before? No, that would not do. An idea came to
his relief: accidents like this might be likely to happen with some
frequency, now that business urgencies would often call Hertford and St.
John from his side, they being members of the Council of Executors;
therefore perhaps it would be well to strike out a plan himself to meet
the requirements of such emergencies. Yes, that would be a wise
course—he would practise on this boy, and see what sort of success
he might achieve. So he stroked his brow perplexedly a moment or
two, and presently said—</p>
<p>"Now I seem to remember thee somewhat—but my wit is clogged and dim
with suffering—"</p>
<p>"Alack, my poor master!" ejaculated the whipping-boy, with feeling;
adding, to himself, "In truth 'tis as they said—his mind is gone—alas,
poor soul! But misfortune catch me, how am I forgetting! They
said one must not seem to observe that aught is wrong with him."</p>
<p>"'Tis strange how my memory doth wanton with me these days," said Tom.
"But mind it not—I mend apace—a little clue doth often serve
to bring me back again the things and names which had escaped me. (And
not they, only, forsooth, but e'en such as I ne'er heard before—as
this lad shall see.) Give thy business speech."</p>
<p>"'Tis matter of small weight, my liege, yet will I touch upon it, an' it
please your Grace. Two days gone by, when your Majesty faulted
thrice in your Greek—in the morning lessons,—dost remember
it?"</p>
<p>"Y-e-s—methinks I do. (It is not much of a lie—an' I had
meddled with the Greek at all, I had not faulted simply thrice, but forty
times.) Yes, I do recall it, now—go on."</p>
<p>"The master, being wroth with what he termed such slovenly and doltish
work, did promise that he would soundly whip me for it—and—"</p>
<p>"Whip <i>thee</i>!" said Tom, astonished out of his presence of mind. "Why should
he whip <i>thee</i> for faults of mine?"</p>
<p>"Ah, your Grace forgetteth again. He always scourgeth me when thou
dost fail in thy lessons."</p>
<p>"True, true—I had forgot. Thou teachest me in private—then
if I fail, he argueth that thy office was lamely done, and—"</p>
<p>"Oh, my liege, what words are these? I, the humblest of thy
servants, presume to teach <i>thee</i>?"</p>
<p>"Then where is thy blame? What riddle is this? Am I in truth
gone mad, or is it thou? Explain—speak out."</p>
<p>"But, good your Majesty, there's nought that needeth simplifying.—None
may visit the sacred person of the Prince of Wales with blows; wherefore,
when he faulteth, 'tis I that take them; and meet it is and right, for
that it is mine office and my livelihood." {1}</p>
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<p>Tom stared at the tranquil boy, observing to himself, "Lo, it is a
wonderful thing,—a most strange and curious trade; I marvel they
have not hired a boy to take my combings and my dressings for me—would
heaven they would!—an' they will do this thing, I will take my
lashings in mine own person, giving God thanks for the change." Then he
said aloud—</p>
<p>"And hast thou been beaten, poor friend, according to the promise?"</p>
<p>"No, good your Majesty, my punishment was appointed for this day, and
peradventure it may be annulled, as unbefitting the season of mourning
that is come upon us; I know not, and so have made bold to come hither and
remind your Grace about your gracious promise to intercede in my behalf—"</p>
<p>"With the master? To save thee thy whipping?"</p>
<p>"Ah, thou dost remember!"</p>
<p>"My memory mendeth, thou seest. Set thy mind at ease—thy back
shall go unscathed—I will see to it."</p>
<p>"Oh, thanks, my good lord!" cried the boy, dropping upon his knee again.
"Mayhap I have ventured far enow; and yet—"</p>
<p>Seeing Master Humphrey hesitate, Tom encouraged him to go on, saying he
was "in the granting mood."</p>
<p>"Then will I speak it out, for it lieth near my heart. Sith thou art
no more Prince of Wales but King, thou canst order matters as thou wilt,
with none to say thee nay; wherefore it is not in reason that thou wilt
longer vex thyself with dreary studies, but wilt burn thy books and turn
thy mind to things less irksome. Then am I ruined, and mine orphan sisters
with me!"</p>
<p>"Ruined? Prithee how?"</p>
<p>"My back is my bread, O my gracious liege! if it go idle, I starve. An'
thou cease from study mine office is gone thou'lt need no whipping-boy. Do
not turn me away!"</p>
<p>Tom was touched with this pathetic distress. He said, with a right
royal burst of generosity—</p>
<p>"Discomfort thyself no further, lad. Thine office shall be permanent
in thee and thy line for ever." Then he struck the boy a light blow
on the shoulder with the flat of his sword, exclaiming, "Rise, Humphrey
Marlow, Hereditary Grand Whipping-Boy to the Royal House of England!
Banish sorrow—I will betake me to my books again, and study so
ill that they must in justice treble thy wage, so mightily shall the
business of thine office be augmented."</p>
<p>The grateful Humphrey responded fervidly—</p>
<p>"Thanks, O most noble master, this princely lavishness doth far surpass my
most distempered dreams of fortune. Now shall I be happy all my
days, and all the house of Marlow after me."</p>
<p>Tom had wit enough to perceive that here was a lad who could be useful to
him. He encouraged Humphrey to talk, and he was nothing loath.
He was delighted to believe that he was helping in Tom's 'cure'; for
always, as soon as he had finished calling back to Tom's diseased mind the
various particulars of his experiences and adventures in the royal
school-room and elsewhere about the palace, he noticed that Tom was then
able to 'recall' the circumstances quite clearly. At the end of an
hour Tom found himself well freighted with very valuable information
concerning personages and matters pertaining to the Court; so he resolved
to draw instruction from this source daily; and to this end he would give
order to admit Humphrey to the royal closet whenever he might come,
provided the Majesty of England was not engaged with other people. Humphrey
had hardly been dismissed when my Lord Hertford arrived with more trouble
for Tom.</p>
<p>He said that the Lords of the Council, fearing that some overwrought
report of the King's damaged health might have leaked out and got abroad,
they deemed it wise and best that his Majesty should begin to dine in
public after a day or two—his wholesome complexion and vigorous
step, assisted by a carefully guarded repose of manner and ease and grace
of demeanour, would more surely quiet the general pulse—in case any
evil rumours <i>had</i> gone about—than any other scheme that could be
devised.</p>
<p>Then the Earl proceeded, very delicately, to instruct Tom as to the
observances proper to the stately occasion, under the rather thin disguise
of 'reminding' him concerning things already known to him; but to his vast
gratification it turned out that Tom needed very little help in this line—he
had been making use of Humphrey in that direction, for Humphrey had
mentioned that within a few days he was to begin to dine in public; having
gathered it from the swift-winged gossip of the Court. Tom kept these
facts to himself, however.</p>
<p>Seeing the royal memory so improved, the Earl ventured to apply a few
tests to it, in an apparently casual way, to find out how far its
amendment had progressed. The results were happy, here and there, in
spots—spots where Humphrey's tracks remained—and on the whole
my lord was greatly pleased and encouraged. So encouraged was he,
indeed, that he spoke up and said in a quite hopeful voice—</p>
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<p>"Now am I persuaded that if your Majesty will but tax your memory yet a
little further, it will resolve the puzzle of the Great Seal—a loss
which was of moment yesterday, although of none to-day, since its term of
service ended with our late lord's life. May it please your Grace to make
the trial?"</p>
<p>Tom was at sea—a Great Seal was something which he was totally
unacquainted with. After a moment's hesitation he looked up
innocently and asked—</p>
<p>"What was it like, my lord?"</p>
<p>The Earl started, almost imperceptibly, muttering to himself, "Alack, his
wits are flown again!—it was ill wisdom to lead him on to strain
them"—then he deftly turned the talk to other matters, with the
purpose of sweeping the unlucky seal out of Tom's thoughts—a purpose
which easily succeeded.</p>
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