<SPAN name="chap57"></SPAN>
<h3> CHAPTER 57 </h3>
<p>Mr Chuckster's indignant apprehensions were not without foundation.
Certainly the friendship between the single gentleman and Mr Garland
was not suffered to cool, but had a rapid growth and flourished
exceedingly. They were soon in habits of constant intercourse and
communication; and the single gentleman labouring at this time under a
slight attack of illness—the consequence most probably of his late
excited feelings and subsequent disappointment—furnished a reason for
their holding yet more frequent correspondence; so that some one of the
inmates of Abel Cottage, Finchley, came backwards and forwards between
that place and Bevis Marks, almost every day.</p>
<p>As the pony had now thrown off all disguise, and without any mincing of
the matter or beating about the bush, sturdily refused to be driven by
anybody but Kit, it generally happened that whether old Mr Garland
came, or Mr Abel, Kit was of the party. Of all messages and inquiries,
Kit was, in right of his position, the bearer; thus it came about that,
while the single gentleman remained indisposed, Kit turned into Bevis
Marks every morning with nearly as much regularity as the General
Postman.</p>
<p>Mr Sampson Brass, who no doubt had his reasons for looking sharply
about him, soon learnt to distinguish the pony's trot and the clatter
of the little chaise at the corner of the street. Whenever the sound
reached his ears, he would immediately lay down his pen and fall to
rubbing his hands and exhibiting the greatest glee.</p>
<p>'Ha ha!' he would cry. 'Here's the pony again! Most remarkable pony,
extremely docile, eh, Mr Richard, eh sir?'</p>
<p>Dick would return some matter-of-course reply, and Mr Brass standing on
the bottom rail of his stool, so as to get a view of the street over
the top of the window-blind, would take an observation of the visitors.</p>
<p>'The old gentleman again!' he would exclaim, 'a very prepossessing old
gentleman, Mr Richard—charming countenance sir—extremely
calm—benevolence in every feature, sir. He quite realises my idea of
King Lear, as he appeared when in possession of his kingdom, Mr
Richard—the same good humour, the same white hair and partial
baldness, the same liability to be imposed upon. Ah! A sweet subject
for contemplation, sir, very sweet!'</p>
<p>Then Mr Garland having alighted and gone up-stairs, Sampson would nod
and smile to Kit from the window, and presently walk out into the
street to greet him, when some such conversation as the following would
ensue.</p>
<p>'Admirably groomed, Kit'—Mr Brass is patting the pony—'does you great
credit—amazingly sleek and bright to be sure. He literally looks as
if he had been varnished all over.'</p>
<p>Kit touches his hat, smiles, pats the pony himself, and expresses his
conviction, 'that Mr Brass will not find many like him.'</p>
<p>'A beautiful animal indeed!' cries Brass. 'Sagacious too?'</p>
<p>'Bless you!' replies Kit, 'he knows what you say to him as well as a
Christian does.'</p>
<p>'Does he indeed!' cries Brass, who has heard the same thing in the same
place from the same person in the same words a dozen times, but is
paralysed with astonishment notwithstanding. 'Dear me!'</p>
<p>'I little thought the first time I saw him, Sir,' says Kit, pleased
with the attorney's strong interest in his favourite, 'that I should
come to be as intimate with him as I am now.'</p>
<p>'Ah!' rejoins Mr Brass, brim-full of moral precepts and love of virtue.
'A charming subject of reflection for you, very charming. A subject of
proper pride and congratulation, Christopher. Honesty is the best
policy.—I always find it so myself. I lost forty-seven pound ten by
being honest this morning. But it's all gain, it's gain!'</p>
<p>Mr Brass slyly tickles his nose with his pen, and looks at Kit with the
water standing in his eyes. Kit thinks that if ever there was a good
man who belied his appearance, that man is Sampson Brass.</p>
<p>'A man,' says Sampson, 'who loses forty-seven pound ten in one morning
by his honesty, is a man to be envied. If it had been eighty pound,
the luxuriousness of feeling would have been increased. Every pound
lost, would have been a hundredweight of happiness gained. The still
small voice, Christopher,' cries Brass, smiling, and tapping himself on
the bosom, 'is a-singing comic songs within me, and all is happiness
and joy!'</p>
<p>Kit is so improved by the conversation, and finds it go so completely
home to his feelings, that he is considering what he shall say, when Mr
Garland appears. The old gentleman is helped into the chaise with
great obsequiousness by Mr Sampson Brass; and the pony, after shaking
his head several times, and standing for three or four minutes with all
his four legs planted firmly on the ground, as if he had made up his
mind never to stir from that spot, but there to live and die, suddenly
darts off, without the smallest notice, at the rate of twelve English
miles an hour. Then, Mr Brass and his sister (who has joined him at
the door) exchange an odd kind of smile—not at all a pleasant one in
its expression—and return to the society of Mr Richard Swiveller,
who, during their absence, has been regaling himself with various feats
of pantomime, and is discovered at his desk, in a very flushed and
heated condition, violently scratching out nothing with half a penknife.</p>
<p>Whenever Kit came alone, and without the chaise, it always happened
that Sampson Brass was reminded of some mission, calling Mr Swiveller,
if not to Peckham Rye again, at all events to some pretty distant place
from Which he could not be expected to return for two or three hours,
or in all probability a much longer period, as that gentleman was not,
to say the truth, renowned for using great expedition on such
occasions, but rather for protracting and spinning out the time to the
very utmost limit of possibility. Mr Swiveller out of sight, Miss
Sally immediately withdrew. Mr Brass would then set the office-door
wide open, hum his old tune with great gaiety of heart, and smile
seraphically as before. Kit coming down-stairs would be called in;
entertained with some moral and agreeable conversation; perhaps
entreated to mind the office for an instant while Mr Brass stepped over
the way; and afterwards presented with one or two half-crowns as the
case might be. This occurred so often, that Kit, nothing doubting but
that they came from the single gentleman who had already rewarded his
mother with great liberality, could not enough admire his generosity;
and bought so many cheap presents for her, and for little Jacob, and
for the baby, and for Barbara to boot, that one or other of them was
having some new trifle every day of their lives.</p>
<p>While these acts and deeds were in progress in and out of the office of
Sampson Brass, Richard Swiveller, being often left alone therein, began
to find the time hang heavy on his hands. For the better preservation
of his cheerfulness therefore, and to prevent his faculties from
rusting, he provided himself with a cribbage-board and pack of cards,
and accustomed himself to play at cribbage with a dummy, for twenty,
thirty, or sometimes even fifty thousand pounds aside, besides many
hazardous bets to a considerable amount.</p>
<p>As these games were very silently conducted, notwithstanding the
magnitude of the interests involved, Mr Swiveller began to think that
on those evenings when Mr and Miss Brass were out (and they often went
out now) he heard a kind of snorting or hard-breathing sound in the
direction of the door, which it occurred to him, after some reflection,
must proceed from the small servant, who always had a cold from damp
living. Looking intently that way one night, he plainly distinguished
an eye gleaming and glistening at the keyhole; and having now no doubt
that his suspicions were correct, he stole softly to the door, and
pounced upon her before she was aware of his approach.</p>
<p>'Oh! I didn't mean any harm indeed, upon my word I didn't,' cried the
small servant, struggling like a much larger one. 'It's so very dull,
down-stairs, Please don't you tell upon me, please don't.'</p>
<p>'Tell upon you!' said Dick. 'Do you mean to say you were looking
through the keyhole for company?'</p>
<p>'Yes, upon my word I was,' replied the small servant.</p>
<p>'How long have you been cooling your eye there?' said Dick.</p>
<p>'Oh ever since you first began to play them cards, and long before.'</p>
<p>Vague recollections of several fantastic exercises with which he had
refreshed himself after the fatigues of business, and to all of which,
no doubt, the small servant was a party, rather disconcerted Mr
Swiveller; but he was not very sensitive on such points, and recovered
himself speedily.</p>
<p>'Well—come in'—he said, after a little consideration. 'Here—sit
down, and I'll teach you how to play.'</p>
<p>'Oh! I durstn't do it,' rejoined the small servant; 'Miss Sally 'ud
kill me, if she know'd I come up here.'</p>
<p>'Have you got a fire down-stairs?' said Dick.</p>
<p>'A very little one,' replied the small servant.</p>
<p>'Miss Sally couldn't kill me if she know'd I went down there, so I'll
come,' said Richard, putting the cards into his pocket. 'Why, how thin
you are! What do you mean by it?'</p>
<p>'It ain't my fault.'</p>
<p>'Could you eat any bread and meat?' said Dick, taking down his hat.
'Yes? Ah! I thought so. Did you ever taste beer?' 'I had a sip of it
once,' said the small servant.</p>
<p>'Here's a state of things!' cried Mr Swiveller, raising his eyes to the
ceiling. 'She never tasted it—it can't be tasted in a sip! Why, how
old are you?'</p>
<p>'I don't know.'</p>
<p>Mr Swiveller opened his eyes very wide, and appeared thoughtful for a
moment; then, bidding the child mind the door until he came back,
vanished straightway.</p>
<p>Presently, he returned, followed by the boy from the public-house, who
bore in one hand a plate of bread and beef, and in the other a great
pot, filled with some very fragrant compound, which sent forth a
grateful steam, and was indeed choice purl, made after a particular
recipe which Mr Swiveller had imparted to the landlord, at a period
when he was deep in his books and desirous to conciliate his
friendship. Relieving the boy of his burden at the door, and charging
his little companion to fasten it to prevent surprise, Mr Swiveller
followed her into the kitchen.</p>
<p>'There!' said Richard, putting the plate before her. 'First of all
clear that off, and then you'll see what's next.'</p>
<p>The small servant needed no second bidding, and the plate was soon
empty.</p>
<p>'Next,' said Dick, handing the purl, 'take a pull at that; but moderate
your transports, you know, for you're not used to it. Well, is it
good?'</p>
<p>'Oh! isn't it?' said the small servant.</p>
<p>Mr Swiveller appeared gratified beyond all expression by this reply,
and took a long draught himself, steadfastly regarding his companion
while he did so. These preliminaries disposed of, he applied himself
to teaching her the game, which she soon learnt tolerably well, being
both sharp-witted and cunning.</p>
<p>'Now,' said Mr Swiveller, putting two sixpences into a saucer, and
trimming the wretched candle, when the cards had been cut and dealt,
'those are the stakes. If you win, you get 'em all. If I win, I get
'em. To make it seem more real and pleasant, I shall call you the
Marchioness, do you hear?'</p>
<p>The small servant nodded.</p>
<p>'Then, Marchioness,' said Mr Swiveller, 'fire away!'</p>
<p>The Marchioness, holding her cards very tight in both hands, considered
which to play, and Mr Swiveller, assuming the gay and fashionable air
which such society required, took another pull at the tankard, and
waited for her lead.</p>
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