<p><SPAN name="link2H_4_0115" id="link2H_4_0115"></SPAN></p>
<h2> LETTER CXIII </h2>
<h3> LONDON, May 17, O. S. 1750 </h3>
<p>MY DEAR FRIEND: Your apprenticeship is near out, and you are soon to set
up for yourself; that approaching moment is a critical one for you, and an
anxious one for me. A tradesman who would succeed in his way, must begin
by establishing a character of integrity and good manners; without the
former, nobody will go to his shop at all; without the latter, nobody will
go there twice. This rule does not exclude the fair arts of trade. He may
sell his goods at the best price he can, within certain bounds. He may
avail himself of the humor, the whims, and the fantastical tastes of his
customers; but what he warrants to be good must be really so, what he
seriously asserts must be true, or his first fraudulent profits will soon
end in a bankruptcy. It is the same in higher life, and in the great
business of the world. A man who does not solidly establish, and really
deserve, a character of truth, probity, good manners, and good morals, at
his first setting out in the world, may impose, and shine like a meteor
for a very short time, but will very soon vanish, and be extinguished with
contempt. People easily pardon, in young men, the common irregularities of
the senses: but they do not forgive the least vice of the heart. The heart
never grows better by age; I fear rather worse; always harder. A young
liar will be an old one; and a young knave will only be a greater knave as
he grows older. But should a bad young heart, accompanied with a good head
(which, by the way, very seldom is the case), really reform in a more
advanced age, from a consciousness of its folly, as well as of its guilt;
such a conversion would only be thought prudential and political, but
never sincere. I hope in God, and I verily. believe, that you want no
moral virtue. But the possession of all the moral virtues, in 'actu
primo', as the logicians call it, is not sufficient; you must have them in
'actu secundo' too; nay, that is not sufficient neither—you must
have the reputation of them also. Your character in the world must be
built upon that solid foundation, or it will soon fall, and upon your own
head. You cannot, therefore, be too careful, too nice, too scrupulous, in
establishing this character at first, upon which your whole depends. Let
no conversation, no example, no fashion, no 'bon mot', no silly desire of
seeming to be above, what most knaves, and many fools, call prejudices,
ever tempt you to avow, excuse, extenuate, or laugh at the least breach of
morality; but show upon all occasions, and take all occasions to show, a
detestation and abhorrence of it. There, though young, you ought to be
strict; and there only, while young, it becomes you to be strict and
severe. But there, too, spare the persons while you lash the crimes. All
this relates, as you easily judge, to the vices of the heart, such as
lying, fraud, envy, malice, detraction, etc., and I do not extend it to
the little frailties of youth, flowing from high spirits and warm blood.
It would ill become you, at your age, to declaim against them, and
sententiously censure a gallantry, an accidental excess of the table, a
frolic, an inadvertency; no, keep as free from them yourself as you can:
but say nothing against them in others. They certainly mend by time, often
by reason; and a man's worldly character is not affected by them, provided
it be pure in all other respects.</p>
<p>To come now to a point of much less, but yet of very great consequence at
your first setting out. Be extremely upon your guard against vanity, the
common failing of inexperienced youth; but particularly against that kind
of vanity that dubs a man a coxcomb; a character which, once acquired, is
more indelible than that of the priesthood. It is not to be imagined by
how many different ways vanity defeats its own purposes. One man decides
peremptorily upon every subject, betrays his ignorance upon many, and
shows a disgusting presumption upon the rest. Another desires to appear
successful among the women; he hints at the encouragement he has received,
from those of the most distinguished rank and beauty, and intimates a
particular connection with some one; if it is true, it is ungenerous; if
false, it is infamous: but in either case he destroys the reputation he
wants to get. Some flatter their vanity by little extraneous objects,
which have not the least relation to themselves; such as being descended
from, related to, or acquainted with, people of distinguished merit and
eminent characters. They talk perpetually of their grandfather such-a-one,
their uncle such-a-one, and their intimate friend Mr. Such-a-one, with
whom, possibly, they are hardly acquainted. But admitting it all to be as
they would have it, what then? Have they the more merit for those
accidents? Certainly not. On the contrary, their taking up adventitious,
proves their want of intrinsic merit; a rich man never borrows. Take this
rule for granted, as a never-failing one: That you must never seem to
affect the character in which you have a mind to shine. Modesty is the
only sure bait when you angle for praise. The affectation of courage will
make even a brave man pass only for a bully; as the affectation of wit
will make a man of parts pass for a coxcomb. By this modesty I do not mean
timidity and awkward bashfulness. On the contrary, be inwardly firm and
steady, know your own value whatever it may be, and act upon that
principle; but take great care to let nobody discover that you do know
your own value. Whatever real merit you have, other people will discover,
and people always magnify their own discoveries, as they lessen those of
others.</p>
<p>For God's sake, revolve all these things seriously in your thoughts,
before you launch out alone into the ocean of Paris. Recollect the
observations that you have yourself made upon mankind, compare and connect
them with my instructions, and then act systematically and consequentially
from them; not 'au jour la journee'. Lay your little plan now, which you
will hereafter extend and improve by your own observations, and by the
advice of those who can never mean to mislead you; I mean Mr. Harte and
myself.</p>
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