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<h2> LETTER CXXXV </h2>
<h3> LONDON, March 18, O. S. 1751. </h3>
<p>MY DEAR FRIEND: I acquainted you in a former letter, that I had brought a
bill into the House of Lords for correcting and reforming our present
calendar, which is the Julian, and for adopting the Gregorian. I will now
give you a more particular account of that affair; from which reflections
will naturally occur to you that I hope may be useful, and which I fear
you have not made. It was notorious, that the Julian calendar was
erroneous, and had overcharged the solar year with eleven days. Pope
Gregory the Thirteenth corrected this error; his reformed calendar was
immediately received by all the Catholic powers of Europe, and afterward
adopted by all the Protestant ones, except Russia, Sweden, and England. It
was not, in my opinion, very honorable for England to remain, in a gross
and avowed error, especially in such company; the inconveniency of it was
likewise felt by all those who had foreign correspondences, whether
political or mercantile. I determined, therefore, to attempt the
reformation; I consulted the best lawyers and the most skillful
astronomers, and we cooked up a bill for that purpose. But then my
difficulty began: I was to bring in this bill, which was necessarily
composed of law jargon and astronomical calculations, to both which I am
an utter stranger. However, it was absolutely necessary to make the House
of Lords think that I knew something of the matter; and also to make them
believe that they knew something of it themselves, which they do not. For
my own part, I could just as soon have talked Celtic or Sclavonian to them
as astronomy, and they would have understood me full as well: so I
resolved to do better than speak to the purpose, and to please instead of
informing them. I gave them, therefore, only an historical account of
calendars, from the Egyptian down to the Gregorian, amusing them now and
then with little episodes; but I was particularly attentive to the choice
of my words, to the harmony and roundness of my periods, to my elocution,
to my action. This succeeded, and ever will succeed; they thought I
informed, because I pleased them; and many of them said that I had made
the whole very clear to them; when, God knows, I had not even attempted
it. Lord Macclesfield, who had the greatest share in forming the bill, and
who is one of the greatest mathematicians and astronomers in Europe, spoke
afterward with infinite knowledge, and all the clearness that so intricate
a matter would admit of: but as his words, his periods, and his utterance,
were not near so good as mine, the preference was most unanimously, though
most unjustly, given to me. This will ever be the case; every numerous
assembly is MOB, let the individuals who compose it be what they will.
Mere reason and good sense is never to be talked to a mob; their passions,
their sentiments, their senses, and their seeming interests, are alone to
be applied to. Understanding they have collectively none, but they have
ears and eyes, which must be flattered and seduced; and this can only be
done by eloquence, tuneful periods, graceful action, and all the various
parts of oratory.</p>
<p>When you come into the House of Commons, if you imagine that speaking
plain and unadorned sense and reason will do your business, you will find
yourself most grossly mistaken. As a speaker, you will be ranked only
according to your eloquence, and by no means according to your matter;
everybody knows the matter almost alike, but few can adorn it. I was early
convinced of the importance and powers of eloquence; and from that moment
I applied myself to it. I resolved not to utter one word, even in common
conversation, that should not be the most expressive and the most elegant
that the language could supply me with for that purpose; by which means I
have acquired such a certain degree of habitual eloquence, that I must now
really take some pains, if, I would express myself very inelegantly. I
want to inculcate this known truth into you, which, you seem by no means
to be convinced of yet, that ornaments are at present your only objects.
Your sole business now is to shine, not to weigh. Weight without lustre is
lead. You had better talk trifles elegantly to the most trifling woman,
than coarse in elegant sense to the most solid man; you had better, return
a dropped fan genteelly, than give a thousand pounds awkwardly; and you
had better refuse a favor gracefully, than to grant it clumsily. Manner is
all, in everything: it is by manner only that you can please, and
consequently rise. All your Greek will never advance you from secretary to
envoy, or from envoy to ambassador; but your address, your manner, your
air, if good, very probably may. Marcel can be of much more use to you
than Aristotle. I would, upon my word, much rather that you had Lord
Bolingbroke's style and eloquence in speaking and writing, than all the
learning of the Academy of Sciences, the Royal Society, and the two
Universities united.</p>
<p>Having mentioned Lord Bolingbroke's style, which is, undoubtedly,
infinitely superior to anybody's, I would have you read his works, which
you have, over and-over again, with particular attention to his style.
Transcribe, imitate, emulate it, if possible: that would be of real use to
you in the House of Commons, in negotiations, in conversation; with that,
you may justly hope to please, to persuade, to seduce, to impose; and you
will fail in those articles, in proportion as you fall short of it. Upon
the whole, lay aside, during your year's residence at Paris, all thoughts
of all that dull fellows call solid, and exert your utmost care to acquire
what people of fashion call shining. 'Prenez l'eclat et le brillant d'un
galant homme'.</p>
<p>Among the commonly called little things, to which you, do not attend, your
handwriting is one, which is indeed shamefully bad and illiberal; it is
neither the hand of a man of business, nor of a gentleman, but of a truant
school-boy; as soon, therefore, as you have done with Abbe Nolet, pray get
an excellent writing-master (since you think that you cannot teach
yourself to write what hand you please), and let him teach you to write a
genteel, legible, liberal hand, and quick; not the hand of a procureur or
a writing-master, but that sort of hand in which the first 'Commis' in
foreign bureaus commonly write; for I tell you truly, that were I Lord
Albemarle, nothing should remain in my bureau written in your present
hand. From hand to arms the transition is natural; is the carriage and
motion of your arms so too? The motion of the arms is the most material
part of a man's air, especially in dancing; the feet are not near so
material. If a man dances well from the waist upward, wears his hat well,
and moves his head properly, he dances well. Do the women say that you
dress well? for that is necessary too for a young fellow. Have you 'un
gout vif', or a passion for anybody? I do not ask for whom: an Iphigenia
would both give you the desire, and teach you the means to please.</p>
<p>In a fortnight or three weeks you will see Sir Charles Hotham at Paris, in
his way to Toulouse, where he is to stay a year or two. Pray be very civil
to him, but do not carry him into company, except presenting him to Lord
Albemarle; for, as he is not to stay at Paris above a week, we do not
desire that he should taste of that dissipation: you may show him a play
and an opera. Adieu, my dear child.</p>
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