<h3>Chapter 13</h3>
<p>None but those who were most intimate with Alexey Alexandrovitch knew that,
while on the surface the coldest and most reasonable of men, he had one
weakness quite opposed to the general trend of his character. Alexey
Alexandrovitch could not hear or see a child or woman crying without being
moved. The sight of tears threw him into a state of nervous agitation, and he
utterly lost all power of reflection. The chief secretary of his department and
his private secretary were aware of this, and used to warn women who came with
petitions on no account to give way to tears, if they did not want to ruin
their chances. “He will get angry, and will not listen to you,”
they used to say. And as a fact, in such cases the emotional disturbance set up
in Alexey Alexandrovitch by the sight of tears found expression in hasty anger.
“I can do nothing. Kindly leave the room!” he would commonly cry in
such cases.</p>
<p>When returning from the races Anna had informed him of her relations with
Vronsky, and immediately afterwards had burst into tears, hiding her face in
her hands, Alexey Alexandrovitch, for all the fury aroused in him against her,
was aware at the same time of a rush of that emotional disturbance always
produced in him by tears. Conscious of it, and conscious that any expression of
his feelings at that minute would be out of keeping with the position, he tried
to suppress every manifestation of life in himself, and so neither stirred nor
looked at her. This was what had caused that strange expression of deathlike
rigidity in his face which had so impressed Anna.</p>
<p>When they reached the house he helped her to get out of the carriage, and
making an effort to master himself, took leave of her with his usual urbanity,
and uttered that phrase that bound him to nothing; he said that tomorrow he
would let her know his decision.</p>
<p>His wife’s words, confirming his worst suspicions, had sent a cruel pang
to the heart of Alexey Alexandrovitch. That pang was intensified by the strange
feeling of physical pity for her set up by her tears. But when he was all alone
in the carriage Alexey Alexandrovitch, to his surprise and delight, felt
complete relief both from this pity and from the doubts and agonies of
jealousy.</p>
<p>He experienced the sensations of a man who has had a tooth out after suffering
long from toothache. After a fearful agony and a sense of something huge,
bigger than the head itself, being torn out of his jaw, the sufferer, hardly
able to believe in his own good luck, feels all at once that what has so long
poisoned his existence and enchained his attention, exists no longer, and that
he can live and think again, and take interest in other things besides his
tooth. This feeling Alexey Alexandrovitch was experiencing. The agony had been
strange and terrible, but now it was over; he felt that he could live again and
think of something other than his wife.</p>
<p>“No honor, no heart, no religion; a corrupt woman. I always knew it and
always saw it, though I tried to deceive myself to spare her,” he said to
himself. And it actually seemed to him that he always had seen it: he recalled
incidents of their past life, in which he had never seen anything wrong
before—now these incidents proved clearly that she had always been a
corrupt woman. “I made a mistake in linking my life to hers; but there
was nothing wrong in my mistake, and so I cannot be unhappy. It’s not I
that am to blame,” he told himself, “but she. But I have nothing to
do with her. She does not exist for me....”</p>
<p>Everything relating to her and her son, towards whom his sentiments were as
much changed as towards her, ceased to interest him. The only thing that
interested him now was the question of in what way he could best, with most
propriety and comfort for himself, and thus with most justice, extricate
himself from the mud with which she had spattered him in her fall, and then
proceed along his path of active, honorable, and useful existence.</p>
<p>“I cannot be made unhappy by the fact that a contemptible woman has
committed a crime. I have only to find the best way out of the difficult
position in which she has placed me. And I shall find it,” he said to
himself, frowning more and more. “I’m not the first nor the
last.” And to say nothing of historical instances dating from the
“Fair Helen” of Menelaus, recently revived in the memory of all, a
whole list of contemporary examples of husbands with unfaithful wives in the
highest society rose before Alexey Alexandrovitch’s imagination.
“Daryalov, Poltavsky, Prince Karibanov, Count Paskudin, Dram.... Yes,
even Dram, such an honest, capable fellow ... Semyonov, Tchagin,
Sigonin,” Alexey Alexandrovitch remembered. “Admitting that a
certain quite irrational <i>ridicule</i> falls to the lot of these men, yet I
never saw anything but a misfortune in it, and always felt sympathy for
it,” Alexey Alexandrovitch said to himself, though indeed this was not
the fact, and he had never felt sympathy for misfortunes of that kind, but the
more frequently he had heard of instances of unfaithful wives betraying their
husbands, the more highly he had thought of himself. “It is a misfortune
which may befall anyone. And this misfortune has befallen me. The only thing to
be done is to make the best of the position.”</p>
<p>And he began passing in review the methods of proceeding of men who had been in
the same position that he was in.</p>
<p>“Daryalov fought a duel....”</p>
<p>The duel had particularly fascinated the thoughts of Alexey Alexandrovitch in
his youth, just because he was physically a coward, and was himself well aware
of the fact. Alexey Alexandrovitch could not without horror contemplate the
idea of a pistol aimed at himself, and had never made use of any weapon in his
life. This horror had in his youth set him pondering on dueling, and picturing
himself in a position in which he would have to expose his life to danger.
Having attained success and an established position in the world, he had long
ago forgotten this feeling; but the habitual bent of feeling reasserted itself,
and dread of his own cowardice proved even now so strong that Alexey
Alexandrovitch spent a long while thinking over the question of dueling in all
its aspects, and hugging the idea of a duel, though he was fully aware
beforehand that he would never under any circumstances fight one.</p>
<p>“There’s no doubt our society is still so barbarous (it’s not
the same in England) that very many”—and among these were those
whose opinion Alexey Alexandrovitch particularly valued—“look
favorably on the duel; but what result is attained by it? Suppose I call him
out,” Alexey Alexandrovitch went on to himself, and vividly picturing the
night he would spend after the challenge, and the pistol aimed at him, he
shuddered, and knew that he never would do it—“suppose I call him
out. Suppose I am taught,” he went on musing, “to shoot; I press
the trigger,” he said to himself, closing his eyes, “and it turns
out I have killed him,” Alexey Alexandrovitch said to himself, and he
shook his head as though to dispel such silly ideas. “What sense is there
in murdering a man in order to define one’s relation to a guilty wife and
son? I should still just as much have to decide what I ought to do with her.
But what is more probable and what would doubtless occur—I should be
killed or wounded. I, the innocent person, should be the victim—killed or
wounded. It’s even more senseless. But apart from that, a challenge to
fight would be an act hardly honest on my side. Don’t I know perfectly
well that my friends would never allow me to fight a duel—would never
allow the life of a statesman, needed by Russia, to be exposed to danger?
Knowing perfectly well beforehand that the matter would never come to real
danger, it would amount to my simply trying to gain a certain sham reputation
by such a challenge. That would be dishonest, that would be false, that would
be deceiving myself and others. A duel is quite irrational, and no one expects
it of me. My aim is simply to safeguard my reputation, which is essential for
the uninterrupted pursuit of my public duties.” Official duties, which
had always been of great consequence in Alexey Alexandrovitch’s eyes,
seemed of special importance to his mind at this moment. Considering and
rejecting the duel, Alexey Alexandrovitch turned to divorce—another
solution selected by several of the husbands he remembered. Passing in mental
review all the instances he knew of divorces (there were plenty of them in the
very highest society with which he was very familiar), Alexey Alexandrovitch
could not find a single example in which the object of divorce was that which
he had in view. In all these instances the husband had practically ceded or
sold his unfaithful wife, and the very party which, being in fault, had not the
right to contract a fresh marriage, had formed counterfeit, pseudo-matrimonial
ties with a self-styled husband. In his own case, Alexey Alexandrovitch saw
that a legal divorce, that is to say, one in which only the guilty wife would
be repudiated, was impossible of attainment. He saw that the complex conditions
of the life they led made the coarse proofs of his wife’s guilt, required
by the law, out of the question; he saw that a certain refinement in that life
would not admit of such proofs being brought forward, even if he had them, and
that to bring forward such proofs would damage him in the public estimation
more than it would her.</p>
<p>An attempt at divorce could lead to nothing but a public scandal, which would
be a perfect godsend to his enemies for calumny and attacks on his high
position in society. His chief object, to define the position with the least
amount of disturbance possible, would not be attained by divorce either.
Moreover, in the event of divorce, or even of an attempt to obtain a divorce,
it was obvious that the wife broke off all relations with the husband and threw
in her lot with the lover. And in spite of the complete, as he supposed,
contempt and indifference he now felt for his wife, at the bottom of his heart
Alexey Alexandrovitch still had one feeling left in regard to her—a
disinclination to see her free to throw in her lot with Vronsky, so that her
crime would be to her advantage. The mere notion of this so exasperated Alexey
Alexandrovitch, that directly it rose to his mind he groaned with inward agony,
and got up and changed his place in the carriage, and for a long while after,
he sat with scowling brows, wrapping his numbed and bony legs in the fleecy
rug.</p>
<p>“Apart from formal divorce, One might still do like Karibanov, Paskudin,
and that good fellow Dram—that is, separate from one’s wife,”
he went on thinking, when he had regained his composure. But this step too
presented the same drawback of public scandal as a divorce, and what was more,
a separation, quite as much as a regular divorce, flung his wife into the arms
of Vronsky. “No, it’s out of the question, out of the
question!” he said again, twisting his rug about him again. “I
cannot be unhappy, but neither she nor he ought to be happy.”</p>
<p>The feeling of jealousy, which had tortured him during the period of
uncertainty, had passed away at the instant when the tooth had been with agony
extracted by his wife’s words. But that feeling had been replaced by
another, the desire, not merely that she should not be triumphant, but that she
should get due punishment for her crime. He did not acknowledge this feeling,
but at the bottom of his heart he longed for her to suffer for having destroyed
his peace of mind—his honor. And going once again over the conditions
inseparable from a duel, a divorce, a separation, and once again rejecting
them, Alexey Alexandrovitch felt convinced that there was only one
solution,—to keep her with him, concealing what had happened from the
world, and using every measure in his power to break off the intrigue, and
still more—though this he did not admit to himself—to punish her.
“I must inform her of my conclusion, that thinking over the terrible
position in which she has placed her family, all other solutions will be worse
for both sides than an external <i>status quo</i>, and that such I agree to
retain, on the strict condition of obedience on her part to my wishes, that is
to say, cessation of all intercourse with her lover.” When this decision
had been finally adopted, another weighty consideration occurred to Alexey
Alexandrovitch in support of it. “By such a course only shall I be acting
in accordance with the dictates of religion,” he told himself. “In
adopting this course, I am not casting off a guilty wife, but giving her a
chance of amendment; and, indeed, difficult as the task will be to me, I shall
devote part of my energies to her reformation and salvation.”</p>
<p>Though Alexey Alexandrovitch was perfectly aware that he could not exert any
moral influence over his wife, that such an attempt at reformation could lead
to nothing but falsity; though in passing through these difficult moments he
had not once thought of seeking guidance in religion, yet now, when his
conclusion corresponded, as it seemed to him, with the requirements of
religion, this religious sanction to his decision gave him complete
satisfaction, and to some extent restored his peace of mind. He was pleased to
think that, even in such an important crisis in life, no one would be able to
say that he had not acted in accordance with the principles of that religion
whose banner he had always held aloft amid the general coolness and
indifference. As he pondered over subsequent developments, Alexey
Alexandrovitch did not see, indeed, why his relations with his wife should not
remain practically the same as before. No doubt, she could never regain his
esteem, but there was not, and there could not be, any sort of reason that his
existence should be troubled, and that he should suffer because she was a bad
and faithless wife. “Yes, time will pass; time, which arranges all
things, and the old relations will be reestablished,” Alexey
Alexandrovitch told himself; “so far reestablished, that is, that I shall
not be sensible of a break in the continuity of my life. She is bound to be
unhappy, but I am not to blame, and so I cannot be unhappy.”</p>
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