<h3><SPAN name="chap08"></SPAN>[ 8 ]</h3>
<p>Pineapple rock, lemon platt, butter scotch. A sugarsticky girl shovelling
scoopfuls of creams for a christian brother. Some school treat. Bad for their
tummies. Lozenge and comfit manufacturer to His Majesty the King. God. Save.
Our. Sitting on his throne sucking red jujubes white.</p>
<p>A sombre Y. M. C. A. young man, watchful among the warm sweet fumes of Graham
Lemon’s, placed a throwaway in a hand of Mr Bloom.</p>
<p>Heart to heart talks.</p>
<p>Bloo... Me? No.</p>
<p>Blood of the Lamb.</p>
<p>His slow feet walked him riverward, reading. Are you saved? All are washed in
the blood of the lamb. God wants blood victim. Birth, hymen, martyr, war,
foundation of a building, sacrifice, kidney burntoffering, druids’ altars.
Elijah is coming. Dr John Alexander Dowie restorer of the church in Zion is
coming.</p>
<p class="poem">
Is coming! Is coming!! Is coming!!!<br/>
All heartily welcome.</p>
<p>Paying game. Torry and Alexander last year. Polygamy. His wife will put the
stopper on that. Where was that ad some Birmingham firm the luminous crucifix.
Our Saviour. Wake up in the dead of night and see him on the wall, hanging.
Pepper’s ghost idea. Iron Nails Ran In.</p>
<p>Phosphorus it must be done with. If you leave a bit of codfish for instance. I
could see the bluey silver over it. Night I went down to the pantry in the
kitchen. Don’t like all the smells in it waiting to rush out. What was it she
wanted? The Malaga raisins. Thinking of Spain. Before Rudy was born. The
phosphorescence, that bluey greeny. Very good for the brain.</p>
<p>From Butler’s monument house corner he glanced along Bachelor’s walk. Dedalus’
daughter there still outside Dillon’s auctionrooms. Must be selling off some
old furniture. Knew her eyes at once from the father. Lobbing about waiting for
him. Home always breaks up when the mother goes. Fifteen children he had. Birth
every year almost. That’s in their theology or the priest won’t give the poor
woman the confession, the absolution. Increase and multiply. Did you ever hear
such an idea? Eat you out of house and home. No families themselves to feed.
Living on the fat of the land. Their butteries and larders. I’d like to see
them do the black fast Yom Kippur. Crossbuns. One meal and a collation for fear
he’d collapse on the altar. A housekeeper of one of those fellows if you could
pick it out of her. Never pick it out of her. Like getting £. s. d. out of him.
Does himself well. No guests. All for number one. Watching his water. Bring
your own bread and butter. His reverence: mum’s the word.</p>
<p>Good Lord, that poor child’s dress is in flitters. Underfed she looks too.
Potatoes and marge, marge and potatoes. It’s after they feel it. Proof of the
pudding. Undermines the constitution.</p>
<p>As he set foot on O’Connell bridge a puffball of smoke plumed up from the
parapet. Brewery barge with export stout. England. Sea air sours it, I heard.
Be interesting some day get a pass through Hancock to see the brewery. Regular
world in itself. Vats of porter wonderful. Rats get in too. Drink themselves
bloated as big as a collie floating. Dead drunk on the porter. Drink till they
puke again like christians. Imagine drinking that! Rats: vats. Well, of course,
if we knew all the things.</p>
<p>Looking down he saw flapping strongly, wheeling between the gaunt quaywalls,
gulls. Rough weather outside. If I threw myself down? Reuben J’s son must have
swallowed a good bellyful of that sewage. One and eightpence too much. Hhhhm.
It’s the droll way he comes out with the things. Knows how to tell a story too.</p>
<p>They wheeled lower. Looking for grub. Wait.</p>
<p>He threw down among them a crumpled paper ball. Elijah thirtytwo feet per sec
is com. Not a bit. The ball bobbed unheeded on the wake of swells, floated
under by the bridgepiers. Not such damn fools. Also the day I threw that stale
cake out of the Erin’s King picked it up in the wake fifty yards astern. Live
by their wits. They wheeled, flapping.</p>
<p class="poem">
The hungry famished gull<br/>
Flaps o’er the waters dull.</p>
<p>That is how poets write, the similar sounds. But then Shakespeare has no
rhymes: blank verse. The flow of the language it is. The thoughts. Solemn.</p>
<p class="poem">
Hamlet, I am thy father’s spirit<br/>
Doomed for a certain time to walk the earth.</p>
<p>—Two apples a penny! Two for a penny!</p>
<p>His gaze passed over the glazed apples serried on her stand. Australians they
must be this time of year. Shiny peels: polishes them up with a rag or a
handkerchief.</p>
<p>Wait. Those poor birds.</p>
<p>He halted again and bought from the old applewoman two Banbury cakes for a
penny and broke the brittle paste and threw its fragments down into the Liffey.
See that? The gulls swooped silently, two, then all from their heights,
pouncing on prey. Gone. Every morsel.</p>
<p>Aware of their greed and cunning he shook the powdery crumb from his hands.
They never expected that. Manna. Live on fish, fishy flesh they have, all
seabirds, gulls, seagoose. Swans from Anna Liffey swim down here sometimes to
preen themselves. No accounting for tastes. Wonder what kind is swanmeat.
Robinson Crusoe had to live on them.</p>
<p>They wheeled flapping weakly. I’m not going to throw any more. Penny quite
enough. Lot of thanks I get. Not even a caw. They spread foot and mouth disease
too. If you cram a turkey say on chestnutmeal it tastes like that. Eat pig like
pig. But then why is it that saltwater fish are not salty? How is that?</p>
<p>His eyes sought answer from the river and saw a rowboat rock at anchor on the
treacly swells lazily its plastered board.</p>
<p class="poem">
Kino’s<br/>
11/—<br/>
Trousers</p>
<p>Good idea that. Wonder if he pays rent to the corporation. How can you own
water really? It’s always flowing in a stream, never the same, which in the
stream of life we trace. Because life is a stream. All kinds of places are good
for ads. That quack doctor for the clap used to be stuck up in all the
greenhouses. Never see it now. Strictly confidential. Dr Hy Franks. Didn’t cost
him a red like Maginni the dancing master self advertisement. Got fellows to
stick them up or stick them up himself for that matter on the q. t. running in
to loosen a button. Flybynight. Just the place too. POST NO BILLS. POST 110
PILLS. Some chap with a dose burning him.</p>
<p>If he...?</p>
<p>O!</p>
<p>Eh?</p>
<p>No... No.</p>
<p>No, no. I don’t believe it. He wouldn’t surely?</p>
<p>No, no.</p>
<p>Mr Bloom moved forward, raising his troubled eyes. Think no more about that.
After one. Timeball on the ballastoffice is down. Dunsink time. Fascinating
little book that is of sir Robert Ball’s. Parallax. I never exactly understood.
There’s a priest. Could ask him. Par it’s Greek: parallel, parallax. Met him
pike hoses she called it till I told her about the transmigration. O rocks!</p>
<p>Mr Bloom smiled O rocks at two windows of the ballastoffice. She’s right after
all. Only big words for ordinary things on account of the sound. She’s not
exactly witty. Can be rude too. Blurt out what I was thinking. Still, I don’t
know. She used to say Ben Dollard had a base barreltone voice. He has legs like
barrels and you’d think he was singing into a barrel. Now, isn’t that wit. They
used to call him big Ben. Not half as witty as calling him base barreltone.
Appetite like an albatross. Get outside of a baron of beef. Powerful man he was
at stowing away number one Bass. Barrel of Bass. See? It all works out.</p>
<p>A procession of whitesmocked sandwichmen marched slowly towards him along the
gutter, scarlet sashes across their boards. Bargains. Like that priest they are
this morning: we have sinned: we have suffered. He read the scarlet letters on
their five tall white hats: H. E. L. Y. S. Wisdom Hely’s. Y lagging behind drew
a chunk of bread from under his foreboard, crammed it into his mouth and
munched as he walked. Our staple food. Three bob a day, walking along the
gutters, street after street. Just keep skin and bone together, bread and
skilly. They are not Boyl: no, M’Glade’s men. Doesn’t bring in any business
either. I suggested to him about a transparent showcart with two smart girls
sitting inside writing letters, copybooks, envelopes, blottingpaper. I bet that
would have caught on. Smart girls writing something catch the eye at once.
Everyone dying to know what she’s writing. Get twenty of them round you if you
stare at nothing. Have a finger in the pie. Women too. Curiosity. Pillar of
salt. Wouldn’t have it of course because he didn’t think of it himself first.
Or the inkbottle I suggested with a false stain of black celluloid. His ideas
for ads like Plumtree’s potted under the obituaries, cold meat department. You
can’t lick ’em. What? Our envelopes. Hello, Jones, where are you going? Can’t
stop, Robinson, I am hastening to purchase the only reliable inkeraser
<i>Kansell,</i> sold by Hely’s Ltd, 85 Dame street. Well out of that ruck I am.
Devil of a job it was collecting accounts of those convents. Tranquilla
convent. That was a nice nun there, really sweet face. Wimple suited her small
head. Sister? Sister? I am sure she was crossed in love by her eyes. Very hard
to bargain with that sort of a woman. I disturbed her at her devotions that
morning. But glad to communicate with the outside world. Our great day, she
said. Feast of Our Lady of Mount Carmel. Sweet name too: caramel. She knew I, I
think she knew by the way she. If she had married she would have changed. I
suppose they really were short of money. Fried everything in the best butter
all the same. No lard for them. My heart’s broke eating dripping. They like
buttering themselves in and out. Molly tasting it, her veil up. Sister? Pat
Claffey, the pawnbroker’s daughter. It was a nun they say invented barbed wire.</p>
<p>He crossed Westmoreland street when apostrophe S had plodded by. Rover
cycleshop. Those races are on today. How long ago is that? Year Phil Gilligan
died. We were in Lombard street west. Wait: was in Thom’s. Got the job in
Wisdom Hely’s year we married. Six years. Ten years ago: ninetyfour he died yes
that’s right the big fire at Arnott’s. Val Dillon was lord mayor. The Glencree
dinner. Alderman Robert O’Reilly emptying the port into his soup before the
flag fell. Bobbob lapping it for the inner alderman. Couldn’t hear what the
band played. For what we have already received may the Lord make us. Milly was
a kiddy then. Molly had that elephantgrey dress with the braided frogs.
Mantailored with selfcovered buttons. She didn’t like it because I sprained my
ankle first day she wore choir picnic at the Sugarloaf. As if that. Old
Goodwin’s tall hat done up with some sticky stuff. Flies’ picnic too. Never put
a dress on her back like it. Fitted her like a glove, shoulders and hips. Just
beginning to plump it out well. Rabbitpie we had that day. People looking after
her.</p>
<p>Happy. Happier then. Snug little room that was with the red wallpaper.
Dockrell’s, one and ninepence a dozen. Milly’s tubbing night. American soap I
bought: elderflower. Cosy smell of her bathwater. Funny she looked soaped all
over. Shapely too. Now photography. Poor papa’s daguerreotype atelier he told
me of. Hereditary taste.</p>
<p>He walked along the curbstone.</p>
<p>Stream of life. What was the name of that priestylooking chap was always
squinting in when he passed? Weak eyes, woman. Stopped in Citron’s saint
Kevin’s parade. Pen something. Pendennis? My memory is getting. Pen ...? Of
course it’s years ago. Noise of the trams probably. Well, if he couldn’t
remember the dayfather’s name that he sees every day.</p>
<p>Bartell d’Arcy was the tenor, just coming out then. Seeing her home after
practice. Conceited fellow with his waxedup moustache. Gave her that song
<i>Winds that blow from the south</i>.</p>
<p>Windy night that was I went to fetch her there was that lodge meeting on about
those lottery tickets after Goodwin’s concert in the supperroom or oakroom of
the Mansion house. He and I behind. Sheet of her music blew out of my hand
against the High school railings. Lucky it didn’t. Thing like that spoils the
effect of a night for her. Professor Goodwin linking her in front. Shaky on his
pins, poor old sot. His farewell concerts. Positively last appearance on any
stage. May be for months and may be for never. Remember her laughing at the
wind, her blizzard collar up. Corner of Harcourt road remember that gust.
Brrfoo! Blew up all her skirts and her boa nearly smothered old Goodwin. She
did get flushed in the wind. Remember when we got home raking up the fire and
frying up those pieces of lap of mutton for her supper with the Chutney sauce
she liked. And the mulled rum. Could see her in the bedroom from the hearth
unclamping the busk of her stays: white.</p>
<p>Swish and soft flop her stays made on the bed. Always warm from her. Always
liked to let her self out. Sitting there after till near two taking out her
hairpins. Milly tucked up in beddyhouse. Happy. Happy. That was the night...</p>
<p>—O, Mr Bloom, how do you do?</p>
<p>—O, how do you do, Mrs Breen?</p>
<p>—No use complaining. How is Molly those times? Haven’t seen her for ages.</p>
<p>—In the pink, Mr Bloom said gaily. Milly has a position down in
Mullingar, you know.</p>
<p>—Go away! Isn’t that grand for her?</p>
<p>—Yes. In a photographer’s there. Getting on like a house on fire. How are
all your charges?</p>
<p>—All on the baker’s list, Mrs Breen said.</p>
<p>How many has she? No other in sight.</p>
<p>—You’re in black, I see. You have no...</p>
<p>—No, Mr Bloom said. I have just come from a funeral.</p>
<p>Going to crop up all day, I foresee. Who’s dead, when and what did he die of?
Turn up like a bad penny.</p>
<p>—O, dear me, Mrs Breen said. I hope it wasn’t any near relation.</p>
<p>May as well get her sympathy.</p>
<p>—Dignam, Mr Bloom said. An old friend of mine. He died quite suddenly,
poor fellow. Heart trouble, I believe. Funeral was this morning.</p>
<p class="poem">
Your funeral’s tomorrow<br/>
While you’re coming through the rye.<br/>
Diddlediddle dumdum<br/>
Diddlediddle...</p>
<p>—Sad to lose the old friends, Mrs Breen’s womaneyes said melancholily.</p>
<p>Now that’s quite enough about that. Just: quietly: husband.</p>
<p>—And your lord and master?</p>
<p>Mrs Breen turned up her two large eyes. Hasn’t lost them anyhow.</p>
<p>—O, don’t be talking! she said. He’s a caution to rattlesnakes. He’s in
there now with his lawbooks finding out the law of libel. He has me
heartscalded. Wait till I show you.</p>
<p>Hot mockturtle vapour and steam of newbaked jampuffs rolypoly poured out from
Harrison’s. The heavy noonreek tickled the top of Mr Bloom’s gullet. Want to
make good pastry, butter, best flour, Demerara sugar, or they’d taste it with
the hot tea. Or is it from her? A barefoot arab stood over the grating,
breathing in the fumes. Deaden the gnaw of hunger that way. Pleasure or pain is
it? Penny dinner. Knife and fork chained to the table.</p>
<p>Opening her handbag, chipped leather. Hatpin: ought to have a guard on those
things. Stick it in a chap’s eye in the tram. Rummaging. Open. Money. Please
take one. Devils if they lose sixpence. Raise Cain. Husband barging. Where’s
the ten shillings I gave you on Monday? Are you feeding your little brother’s
family? Soiled handkerchief: medicinebottle. Pastille that was fell. What is
she?...</p>
<p>—There must be a new moon out, she said. He’s always bad then. Do you
know what he did last night?</p>
<p>Her hand ceased to rummage. Her eyes fixed themselves on him, wide in alarm,
yet smiling.</p>
<p>—What? Mr Bloom asked.</p>
<p>Let her speak. Look straight in her eyes. I believe you. Trust me.</p>
<p>—Woke me up in the night, she said. Dream he had, a nightmare.</p>
<p>Indiges.</p>
<p>—Said the ace of spades was walking up the stairs.</p>
<p>—The ace of spades! Mr Bloom said.</p>
<p>She took a folded postcard from her handbag.</p>
<p>—Read that, she said. He got it this morning.</p>
<p>—What is it? Mr Bloom asked, taking the card. U. P.?</p>
<p>—U. p: up, she said. Someone taking a rise out of him. It’s a great shame
for them whoever he is.</p>
<p>—Indeed it is, Mr Bloom said.</p>
<p>She took back the card, sighing.</p>
<p>—And now he’s going round to Mr Menton’s office. He’s going to take an
action for ten thousand pounds, he says.</p>
<p>She folded the card into her untidy bag and snapped the catch.</p>
<p>Same blue serge dress she had two years ago, the nap bleaching. Seen its best
days. Wispish hair over her ears. And that dowdy toque: three old grapes to
take the harm out of it. Shabby genteel. She used to be a tasty dresser. Lines
round her mouth. Only a year or so older than Molly.</p>
<p>See the eye that woman gave her, passing. Cruel. The unfair sex.</p>
<p>He looked still at her, holding back behind his look his discontent. Pungent
mockturtle oxtail mulligatawny. I’m hungry too. Flakes of pastry on the gusset
of her dress: daub of sugary flour stuck to her cheek. Rhubarb tart with
liberal fillings, rich fruit interior. Josie Powell that was. In Luke Doyle’s
long ago. Dolphin’s Barn, the charades. U. p: up.</p>
<p>Change the subject.</p>
<p>—Do you ever see anything of Mrs Beaufoy? Mr Bloom asked.</p>
<p>—Mina Purefoy? she said.</p>
<p>Philip Beaufoy I was thinking. Playgoers’ Club. Matcham often thinks of the
masterstroke. Did I pull the chain? Yes. The last act.</p>
<p>—Yes.</p>
<p>—I just called to ask on the way in is she over it. She’s in the lying-in
hospital in Holles street. Dr Horne got her in. She’s three days bad now.</p>
<p>—O, Mr Bloom said. I’m sorry to hear that.</p>
<p>—Yes, Mrs Breen said. And a houseful of kids at home. It’s a very stiff
birth, the nurse told me.</p>
<p>—O, Mr Bloom said.</p>
<p>His heavy pitying gaze absorbed her news. His tongue clacked in compassion.
Dth! Dth!</p>
<p>—I’m sorry to hear that, he said. Poor thing! Three days! That’s terrible
for her.</p>
<p>Mrs Breen nodded.</p>
<p>—She was taken bad on the Tuesday...</p>
<p>Mr Bloom touched her funnybone gently, warning her:</p>
<p>—Mind! Let this man pass.</p>
<p>A bony form strode along the curbstone from the river staring with a rapt gaze
into the sunlight through a heavystringed glass. Tight as a skullpiece a tiny
hat gripped his head. From his arm a folded dustcoat, a stick and an umbrella
dangled to his stride.</p>
<p>—Watch him, Mr Bloom said. He always walks outside the lampposts. Watch!</p>
<p>—Who is he if it’s a fair question? Mrs Breen asked. Is he dotty?</p>
<p>—His name is Cashel Boyle O’Connor Fitzmaurice Tisdall Farrell, Mr Bloom
said smiling. Watch!</p>
<p>—He has enough of them, she said. Denis will be like that one of these
days.</p>
<p>She broke off suddenly.</p>
<p>—There he is, she said. I must go after him. Goodbye. Remember me to
Molly, won’t you?</p>
<p>—I will, Mr Bloom said.</p>
<p>He watched her dodge through passers towards the shopfronts. Denis Breen in
skimpy frockcoat and blue canvas shoes shuffled out of Harrison’s hugging two
heavy tomes to his ribs. Blown in from the bay. Like old times. He suffered her
to overtake him without surprise and thrust his dull grey beard towards her,
his loose jaw wagging as he spoke earnestly.</p>
<p>Meshuggah. Off his chump.</p>
<p>Mr Bloom walked on again easily, seeing ahead of him in sunlight the tight
skullpiece, the dangling stickumbrelladustcoat. Going the two days. Watch him!
Out he goes again. One way of getting on in the world. And that other old mosey
lunatic in those duds. Hard time she must have with him.</p>
<p>U. p: up. I’ll take my oath that’s Alf Bergan or Richie Goulding. Wrote it for
a lark in the Scotch house I bet anything. Round to Menton’s office. His oyster
eyes staring at the postcard. Be a feast for the gods.</p>
<p>He passed the <i>Irish Times</i>. There might be other answers lying there.
Like to answer them all. Good system for criminals. Code. At their lunch now.
Clerk with the glasses there doesn’t know me. O, leave them there to simmer.
Enough bother wading through fortyfour of them. Wanted, smart lady typist to
aid gentleman in literary work. I called you naughty darling because I do not
like that other world. Please tell me what is the meaning. Please tell me what
perfume does your wife. Tell me who made the world. The way they spring those
questions on you. And the other one Lizzie Twigg. My literary efforts have had
the good fortune to meet with the approval of the eminent poet A. E. (Mr Geo.
Russell). No time to do her hair drinking sloppy tea with a book of poetry.</p>
<p>Best paper by long chalks for a small ad. Got the provinces now. Cook and
general, exc. cuisine, housemaid kept. Wanted live man for spirit counter.
Resp. girl (R.C.) wishes to hear of post in fruit or pork shop. James Carlisle
made that. Six and a half per cent dividend. Made a big deal on Coates’s
shares. Ca’ canny. Cunning old Scotch hunks. All the toady news. Our gracious
and popular vicereine. Bought the <i>Irish Field</i> now. Lady Mountcashel has
quite recovered after her confinement and rode out with the Ward Union
staghounds at the enlargement yesterday at Rathoath. Uneatable fox. Pothunters
too. Fear injects juices make it tender enough for them. Riding astride. Sit
her horse like a man. Weightcarrying huntress. No sidesaddle or pillion for
her, not for Joe. First to the meet and in at the death. Strong as a brood mare
some of those horsey women. Swagger around livery stables. Toss off a glass of
brandy neat while you’d say knife. That one at the Grosvenor this morning. Up
with her on the car: wishswish. Stonewall or fivebarred gate put her mount to
it. Think that pugnosed driver did it out of spite. Who is this she was like? O
yes! Mrs Miriam Dandrade that sold me her old wraps and black underclothes in
the Shelbourne hotel. Divorced Spanish American. Didn’t take a feather out of
her my handling them. As if I was her clotheshorse. Saw her in the viceregal
party when Stubbs the park ranger got me in with Whelan of the <i>Express.</i>
Scavenging what the quality left. High tea. Mayonnaise I poured on the plums
thinking it was custard. Her ears ought to have tingled for a few weeks after.
Want to be a bull for her. Born courtesan. No nursery work for her, thanks.</p>
<p>Poor Mrs Purefoy! Methodist husband. Method in his madness. Saffron bun and
milk and soda lunch in the educational dairy. Y. M. C. A. Eating with a
stopwatch, thirtytwo chews to the minute. And still his muttonchop whiskers
grew. Supposed to be well connected. Theodore’s cousin in Dublin Castle. One
tony relative in every family. Hardy annuals he presents her with. Saw him out
at the Three Jolly Topers marching along bareheaded and his eldest boy carrying
one in a marketnet. The squallers. Poor thing! Then having to give the breast
year after year all hours of the night. Selfish those t.t’s are. Dog in the
manger. Only one lump of sugar in my tea, if you please.</p>
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