<h2><SPAN name="page93"></SPAN><span class="pagenum"></span>XI</h2>
<p>I <span class="smcap">was</span> unable this time to stay to
dinner: such at any rate was the plea on which I took
leave. I desired in truth to get away from my young lady,
for that obviously helped me not to pretend to satisfy her.
How <i>could</i> I satisfy her? I asked myself—how
could I tell her how much had been kept back? I
didn’t even know and I certainly didn’t desire to
know. My own policy had ever been to learn the least about
poor Saltram’s weaknesses—not to learn the
most. A great deal that I had in fact learned had been
forced upon me by his wife. There was something even
irritating in Miss Anvoy’s crude conscientiousness, and I
wondered why, after all, she couldn’t have let him alone
and been content to entrust George Gravener with the purchase of
the good house. I was sure he would have driven a bargain,
got something excellent and cheap. I laughed louder even
than she, I temporised, I failed her; I told her I must think
over her case. I professed a horror of responsibilities and
twitted her with her own extravagant passion for them. It
wasn’t really that I was afraid of the scandal, the moral
discredit for the Fund; what troubled me most was a feeling of a
different order. Of course, as the beneficiary of the Fund
was to enjoy a simple life-interest, as it was hoped that new
beneficiaries would arise and come up to new standards, it
wouldn’t be a trifle that the first of these worthies
shouldn’t have been a striking example of the domestic
virtues. The Fund would start badly, as it were, and the
laurel would, in some respects at least, scarcely be greener from
the brows of the original wearer. That idea, however, was
at that hour, as I have hinted, not the source of solicitude it
ought perhaps to have been, for I felt less the irregularity of
Saltram’s getting the money than that of this exalted young
woman’s giving it up. I wanted her to have it for
herself, and I told her so before I went away. She looked
graver at this than she had looked at all, saying she hoped such
a preference wouldn’t make me dishonest.</p>
<p>It made me, to begin with, very restless—made me,
instead of going straight to the station, fidget a little about
that many-coloured Common which gives Wimbledon horizons.
There was a worry for me to work off, or rather keep at a
distance, for I declined even to admit to myself that I had, in
Miss Anvoy’s phrase, been saddled with it. What could
have been clearer indeed than the attitude of recognising
perfectly what a world of trouble The Coxon Fund would in future
save us, and of yet liking better to face a continuance of that
trouble than see, and in fact contribute to, a deviation from
attainable bliss in the life of two other persons in whom I was
deeply interested? Suddenly, at the end of twenty minutes,
there was projected across this clearness the image of a massive
middle-aged man seated on a bench under a tree, with sad
far-wandering eyes and plump white hands folded on the head of a
stick—a stick I recognised, a stout gold-headed staff that
I had given him in devoted days. I stopped short as he
turned his face to me, and it happened that for some reason or
other I took in as I had perhaps never done before the beauty of
his rich blank gaze. It was charged with experience as the
sky is charged with light, and I felt on the instant as if we had
been overspanned and conjoined by the great arch of a bridge or
the great dome of a temple. Doubtless I was rendered
peculiarly sensitive to it by something in the way I had been
giving him up and sinking him. While I met it I stood there
smitten, and I felt myself responding to it with a sort of guilty
grimace. This brought back his attention in a smile which
expressed for me a cheerful weary patience, a bruised noble
gentleness. I had told Miss Anvoy that he had no dignity,
but what did he seem to me, all unbuttoned and fatigued as he
waited for me to come up, if he didn’t seem unconcerned
with small things, didn’t seem in short majestic?
There was majesty in his mere unconsciousness of our little
conferences and puzzlements over his maintenance and his
reward.</p>
<p>After I had sat by him a few minutes I passed my arm over his
big soft shoulder—wherever you touched him you found
equally little firmness—and said in a tone of which the
suppliance fell oddly on my own ear: “Come back to town
with me, old friend—come back and spend the
evening.” I wanted to hold him, I wanted to keep him,
and at Waterloo, an hour later, I telegraphed possessively to the
Mulvilles. When he objected, as regards staying all night,
that he had no things, I asked him if he hadn’t everything
of mine. I had abstained from ordering dinner, and it was
too late for preliminaries at a club; so we were reduced to tea
and fried fish at my rooms—reduced also to the
transcendent. Something had come up which made me want him
to feel at peace with me—and which, precisely, was all the
dear man himself wanted on any occasion. I had too often
had to press upon him considerations irrelevant, but it gives me
pleasure now to think that on that particular evening I
didn’t even mention Mrs. Saltram and the children.
Late into the night we smoked and talked; old shames and old
rigours fell away from us; I only let him see that I was
conscious of what I owed him. He was as mild as contrition
and as copious as faith; he was never so fine as on a shy return,
and even better at forgiving than at being forgiven. I dare
say it was a smaller matter than that famous night at Wimbledon,
the night of the problematical sobriety and of Miss Anvoy’s
initiation; but I was as much in it on this occasion as I had
been out of it then. At about 1.30 he was sublime.</p>
<p>He never, in whatever situation, rose till all other risings
were over, and his breakfasts, at Wimbledon, had always been the
principal reason mentioned by departing cooks. The coast
was therefore clear for me to receive her when, early the next
morning, to my surprise, it was announced to me his wife had
called. I hesitated, after she had come up, about telling
her Saltram was in the house, but she herself settled the
question, kept me reticent by drawing forth a sealed letter
which, looking at me very hard in the eyes, she placed, with a
pregnant absence of comment, in my hand. For a single
moment there glimmered before me the fond hope that Mrs. Saltram
had tendered me, as it were, her resignation and desired to
embody the act in an unsparing form. To bring this about I
would have feigned any humiliation; but after my eyes had caught
the superscription I heard myself say with a flatness that
betrayed a sense of something very different from relief:
“Oh the Pudneys!” I knew their envelopes though
they didn’t know mine. They always used the kind sold
at post-offices with the stamp affixed, and as this letter
hadn’t been posted they had wasted a penny on me. I
had seen their horrid missives to the Mulvilles, but hadn’t
been in direct correspondence with them.</p>
<p>“They enclosed it to me, to be delivered. They
doubtless explain to you that they hadn’t your
address.”</p>
<p>I turned the thing over without opening it. “Why
in the world should they write to me?”</p>
<p>“Because they’ve something to tell you. The
worst,” Mrs. Saltram dryly added.</p>
<p>It was another chapter, I felt, of the history of their
lamentable quarrel with her husband, the episode in which,
vindictively, disingenuously as they themselves had behaved, one
had to admit that he had put himself more grossly in the wrong
than at any moment of his life. He had begun by insulting
the matchless Mulvilles for these more specious protectors, and
then, according to his wont at the end of a few months, had dug a
still deeper ditch for his aberration than the chasm left yawning
behind. The chasm at Wimbledon was now blessedly closed;
but the Pudneys, across their persistent gulf, kept up the
nastiest fire. I never doubted they had a strong case, and
I had been from the first for not defending him—reasoning
that if they weren’t contradicted they’d perhaps
subside. This was above all what I wanted, and I so far
prevailed that I did arrest the correspondence in time to save
our little circle an infliction heavier than it perhaps would
have borne. I knew, that is I divined, that their
allegations had gone as yet only as far as their courage,
conscious as they were in their own virtue of an exposed place in
which Saltram could have planted a blow. It was a question
with them whether a man who had himself so much to cover up would
dare his blow; so that these vessels of rancour were in a manner
afraid of each other. I judged that on the day the Pudneys
should cease for some reason or other to be afraid they would
treat us to some revelation more disconcerting than any of its
predecessors. As I held Mrs. Saltram’s letter in my
hand it was distinctly communicated to me that the day had
come—they had ceased to be afraid. “I
don’t want to know the worst,” I presently
declared.</p>
<p>“You’ll have to open the letter. It also
contains an enclosure.”</p>
<p>I felt it—it was fat and uncanny. “Wheels
within wheels!” I exclaimed. “There’s
something for me too to deliver.”</p>
<p>“So they tell me—to Miss Anvoy.”</p>
<p>I stared; I felt a certain thrill. “Why
don’t they send it to her directly?”</p>
<p>Mrs. Saltram hung fire. “Because she’s
staying with Mr. and Mrs. Mulville.”</p>
<p>“And why should that prevent?”</p>
<p>Again my visitor faltered, and I began to reflect on the
grotesque, the unconscious perversity of her action. I was
the only person save George Gravener and the Mulvilles who was
aware of Sir Gregory Coxon’s and of Miss Anvoy’s
strange bounty. Where could there have been a more signal
illustration of the clumsiness of human affairs than her having
complacently selected this moment to fly in the face of it?
“There’s the chance of their seeing her
letters. They know Mr. Pudney’s hand.”</p>
<p>Still I didn’t understand; then it flashed upon
me. “You mean they might intercept it? How can
you imply anything so base?” I indignantly demanded.</p>
<p>“It’s not I—it’s Mr. Pudney!”
cried Mrs. Saltram with a flush. “It’s his own
idea.”</p>
<p>“Then why couldn’t he send the letter to you to be
delivered?”</p>
<p>Mrs. Saltram’s embarrassment increased; she gave me
another hard look. “You must make that out for
yourself.”</p>
<p>I made it out quickly enough. “It’s a
denunciation?”</p>
<p>“A real lady doesn’t betray her husband!”
this virtuous woman exclaimed.</p>
<p>I burst out laughing, and I fear my laugh may have had an
effect of impertinence. “Especially to Miss Anvoy,
who’s so easily shocked? Why do such things concern
<i>her</i>?” I asked, much at a loss.</p>
<p>“Because she’s there, exposed to all his
craft. Mr. and Mrs. Pudney have been watching this: they
feel she may be taken in.”</p>
<p>“Thank you for all the rest of us! What difference
can it make when she has lost her power to contribute?”</p>
<p>Again Mrs. Saltram considered; then very nobly: “There
are other things in the world than money.” This
hadn’t occurred to her so long as the young lady had any;
but she now added, with a glance at my letter, that Mr. and Mrs.
Pudney doubtless explained their motives. “It’s
all in kindness,” she continued as she got up.</p>
<p>“Kindness to Miss Anvoy? You took, on the whole,
another view of kindness before her reverses.”</p>
<p>My companion smiled with some acidity “Perhaps
you’re no safer than the Mulvilles!”</p>
<p>I didn’t want her to think that, nor that she should
report to the Pudneys that they had not been happy in their
agent; and I well remember that this was the moment at which I
began, with considerable emotion, to promise myself to enjoin
upon Miss Anvoy never to open any letter that should come to her
in one of those penny envelopes. My emotion, and I fear I
must add my confusion, quickly deepened; I presently should have
been as glad to frighten Mrs. Saltram as to think I might by some
diplomacy restore the Pudneys to a quieter vigilance.</p>
<p>“It’s best you should take <i>my</i> view of my
safety,” I at any rate soon responded. When I saw she
didn’t know what I meant by this I added: “You may
turn out to have done, in bringing me this letter, a thing
you’ll profoundly regret.” My tone had a
significance which, I could see, did make her uneasy, and there
was a moment, after I had made two or three more remarks of
studiously bewildering effect, at which her eyes followed so
hungrily the little flourish of the letter with which I
emphasised them that I instinctively slipped Mr. Pudney’s
communication into my pocket. She looked, in her
embarrassed annoyance, capable of grabbing it to send it back to
him. I felt, after she had gone, as if I had almost given
her my word I wouldn’t deliver the enclosure. The
passionate movement, at any rate, with which, in solitude, I
transferred the whole thing, unopened, from my pocket to a drawer
which I double-locked would have amounted, for an initiated
observer, to some such pledge.</p>
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