<p><SPAN name="c45" id="c45"></SPAN> </p>
<p> </p>
<h4>CHAPTER XLV.</h4>
<h3>SHOWING HOW MRS. ORME<br/>COULD BE VERY WEAK MINDED.<br/> </h3>
<p>I venture to think, I may almost say to hope, that Lady Mason's
confession at the end of the last chapter will not have taken anybody
by surprise. If such surprise be felt I must have told my tale badly.
I do not like such revulsions of feeling with regard to my characters
as surprises of this nature must generate. That Lady Mason had
committed the terrible deed for which she was about to be tried, that
Mr. Furnival's suspicion of her guilt was only too well founded, that
Mr. Dockwrath with his wicked ingenuity had discovered no more than
the truth, will, in its open revelation, have caused no surprise to
the reader;—but it did cause terrible surprise to Sir Peregrine
Orme.</p>
<p>And now we must go back a little and endeavour to explain how it was
that Lady Mason had made this avowal of her guilt. That she had not
intended to do so when she entered Sir Peregrine's library is very
certain. Had such been her purpose she would not have asked Mrs. Orme
to visit her at Orley Farm. Had such a course of events been in her
mind she would not have spoken of her departure from The Cleeve as
doubtful. No. She had intended still to keep her terrible secret to
herself; still to have leaned upon Sir Peregrine's arm as on the arm
of a trusting friend. But he had overcome her by his generosity; and
in her fixed resolve that he should not be dragged down into this
abyss of misery the sudden determination to tell the truth at least
to him had come upon her. She did tell him all; and then, as soon as
the words were out of her mouth, the strength which had enabled her
to do so deserted her, and she fell at his feet overcome by weakness
of body as well as spirit.</p>
<p>But the words which she spoke did not at first convey to his mind
their full meaning. Though she had twice repeated the assertion that
she was guilty, the fact of her guilt did not come home to his
understanding as a thing that he could credit. There was something,
he doubted not, to surprise and harass him,—something which when
revealed and made clear might, or might not, affect his purpose of
marrying,—something which it behoved this woman to tell before she
could honestly become his wife, something which was destined to give
his heart a blow. But he was very far as yet from understanding the
whole truth. Let us think of those we love best, and ask ourselves
how much it would take to convince us of their guilt in such a
matter. That thrusting of the lie down the throat of Joseph Mason had
become to him so earnest a duty, that the task of believing the lie
to be on the other side was no easy one. The blow which he had to
suffer was a cruel blow. Lady Mason, however, was merciful, for she
might have enhanced the cruelty tenfold.</p>
<p>He stood there wondering and bewildered for some minutes of time,
while she, with her face hidden, still clung round his knees. "What
is it?" at last he said. "I do not understand." But she had no answer
to make to him. Her great resolve had been quickly made and quickly
carried out, but now the reaction left her powerless. He stooped down
to raise her; but when he moved she fell prone upon the ground; he
could hear her sobs as though her bosom would burst with them.</p>
<p>And then by degrees the meaning of her words began to break upon him.
"I am guilty of all this with which they charge me." Could that be
possible? Could it be that she had forged that will; that with base,
premeditated contrivance she had stolen that property; stolen it and
kept it from that day to this;—through all these long years? And
then he thought of her pure life, of her womanly, dignified repose,
of her devotion to her son,—such devotion indeed!—of her sweet pale
face and soft voice! He thought of all this, and of his own love and
friendship for her,—of Edith's love for her! He thought of it all,
and he could not believe that she was guilty. There was some other
fault, some much lesser fault than that, with which she charged
herself. But there she lay at his feet, and it was necessary that he
should do something towards lifting her to a seat.</p>
<p>He stooped and took her by the hand, but his feeble strength was not
sufficient to raise her. "Lady Mason," he said, "speak to me. I do
not understand you. Will you not let me seat you on the sofa?"</p>
<p>But she, at least, had realised the full force of the revelation she
had made, and lay there covered with shame, broken-hearted, and
unable to raise her eyes from the ground. With what inward struggles
she had played her part during the last few months, no one might ever
know! But those struggles had been kept to herself. The world, her
world, that world for which she had cared, in which she had lived,
had treated her with honour and respect, and had looked upon her as
an ill-used innocent woman. But now all that would be over. Every one
now must know what she was. And then, as she lay there, that thought
came to her. Must every one know it? Was there no longer any hope for
her? Must Lucius be told? She could bear all the rest, if only he
might be ignorant of his mother's disgrace;—he, for whom all had
been done! But no. He, and every one must know it. Oh! if the
beneficent Spirit that sees all and pities all would but take her
that moment from the world!</p>
<p>When Sir Peregrine asked her whether he should seat her on the sofa,
she slowly picked herself up, and with her head still crouching
towards the ground, placed herself where she before had been sitting.
He had been afraid that she would have fainted, but she was not one
of those women whose nature easily admits of such relief as that.
Though she was always pale in colour and frail looking, there was
within her a great power of self-sustenance. She was a woman who with
a good cause might have dared anything. With the worst cause that a
woman could well have, she had dared and endured very much. She did
not faint, nor gasp as though she were choking, nor become hysteric
in her agony; but she lay there, huddled up in the corner of the
sofa, with her face hidden, and all those feminine graces forgotten
which had long stood her in truth so royally. The inner, true, living
woman was there at last,—that and nothing else.</p>
<p>But he,—what was he to do? It went against his heart to harass her
at that moment; but then it was essential that he should know the
truth. The truth, or a suspicion of the truth was now breaking upon
him; and if that suspicion should be confirmed, what was he to do? It
was at any rate necessary that everything should be put beyond a
doubt.</p>
<p>"Lady Mason," he said, "if you are able to speak to
<span class="nowrap">me—"</span></p>
<p>"Yes," she said, gradually straightening herself, and raising her
head though she did not look at him. "Yes. I am able." But there was
something terrible in the sound of her voice. It was such a sound of
agony that he felt himself unable to persist.</p>
<p>"If you wish it I will leave you, and come back,—say in an hour."</p>
<p>"No, no; do not leave me." And her whole body was shaken with a
tremour, as though of an ague fit. "Do not go away, and I will tell
you everything. I did it."</p>
<p>"Did what?"</p>
<p>"I—forged the will. I did it all.—I am guilty."</p>
<p>There was the whole truth now, declared openly and in the most simple
words, and there was no longer any possibility that he should doubt.
It was very terrible,—a terrible tragedy. But to him at this present
moment the part most frightful was his and her present position. What
should he do for her? How should he counsel her? In what way so act
that he might best assist her without compromising that high sense of
right and wrong which in him was a second nature. He felt at the
moment that he would still give his last shilling to rescue
her,—only that there was the property! Let the heavens fall, justice
must be done there. Even a wretch such as Joseph Mason must have that
which was clearly his own.</p>
<p>As she spoke those last words, she had risen from the sofa, and was
now standing before him resting with her hands upon the table, like a
prisoner in the dock.</p>
<p>"What!" he said; "with your own hands?"</p>
<p>"Yes; with my own hands. When he would not do justice to my baby,
when he talked of that other being the head of his house, I did it,
with my own hands,—during the night."</p>
<p>"And you wrote the names,—yourself?"</p>
<p>"Yes; I wrote them all." And then there was again silence in the
room; but she still stood, leaning on the table, waiting for him to
speak her doom.</p>
<p>He turned away from the spot in which he had confronted her and
walked to the window. What was he to do? How was he to help her? And
how was he to be rid of her? How was he to save his daughter from
further contact with a woman such as this? And how was he to bid his
daughter behave to this woman as one woman should behave to another
in her misery? Then too he had learned to love her himself,—had
yearned to call her his own; and though this in truth was a minor
sorrow, it was one which at the moment added bitterness to the
others. But there she stood, still waiting her doom, and it was
necessary that that doom should be spoken by him.</p>
<p>"If this can really be true—"</p>
<p>"It is true. You do not think that a woman would falsely tell such a
tale as that against herself!"</p>
<p>"Then I fear—that this must be over between you and me."</p>
<p>There was a relief to her, a sort of relief, in those words. The doom
as so far spoken was so much a matter of course that it conveyed no
penalty. Her story had been told in order that that result might be
attained with certainty. There was almost a tone of scorn in her
voice as she said, "Oh yes; all that must be over."</p>
<p>"And what next would you have me do?" he asked.</p>
<p>"I have nothing to request," she said. "If you must tell it to all
the world, do so."</p>
<p>"Tell it; no. It will not be my business to be an informer."</p>
<p>"But you must tell it. There is Mrs. Orme."</p>
<p>"Yes: to Edith!"</p>
<p>"And I must leave the house. Oh, where shall I go when he knows it?
And where will he go?" Wretched miserable woman, but yet so worthy of
pity! What a terrible retribution for that night's work was now
coming on her!</p>
<p>He again walked to the window to think how he might answer these
questions. Must he tell his daughter? Must he banish this criminal at
once from his house? Every one now had been told of his intended
marriage; every one had been told through Lord Alston, Mr. Furnival,
and such as they. That at any rate must now be untold. And would it
be possible that she should remain there, living with them at The
Cleeve, while all this was being done? In truth he did not know how
to speak. He had not hardness of heart to pronounce her doom.</p>
<p>"Of course I shall leave the house," she said, with something almost
of pride in her voice. "If there be no place open to me but a gaol I
will do that. Perhaps I had better go now and get my things removed
at once. Say a word of love for me to her;—a word of respectful
love." And she moved as though she were going to the door.</p>
<p>But he would not permit her to leave him thus. He could not let the
poor, crushed, broken creature wander forth in her agony to bruise
herself at every turn, and to be alone in her despair. She was still
the woman whom he had loved; and, over and beyond that, was she not
the woman who had saved him from a terrible downfall by rushing
herself into utter ruin for his sake? He must take some steps in her
behalf—if he could only resolve what those steps should be. She was
moving to the door, but stopping her, he took her by the hand. "You
did it," he said, "and he, your husband, knew nothing of it?" The
fact itself was so wonderful, that he had hardly as yet made even
that all his own.</p>
<p>"I did it, and he knew nothing of it. I will go now, Sir Peregrine; I
am strong enough."</p>
<p>"But where will you go?"</p>
<p>"Ah me, where shall I go?" And she put the hand which was at liberty
up to her temple, brushing back her hair as though she might thus
collect her thoughts. "Where shall I go? But he does not know it yet.
I will go now to Orley Farm. When must he be told? Tell me that. When
must he know it?"</p>
<p>"No, Lady Mason; you cannot go there to-day. It's very hard to say
what you had better do."</p>
<p>"Very hard," she echoed, shaking her head.</p>
<p>"But you must remain here at present;—at The Cleeve I mean; at any
rate for to-day. I will think about it. I will endeavour to think
what may be the best."</p>
<p>"But—we cannot meet now. She and I;—Mrs. Orme?" And then again he
was silent; for in truth the difficulties were too many for him.
Might it not be best that she should counterfeit illness and be
confined to her own room? But then he was averse to recommend any
counterfeit; and if Mrs. Orme did not go to her in her assumed
illness, the counterfeit would utterly fail of effect in the
household. And then, should he tell Mrs. Orme? The weight of these
tidings would be too much for him, if he did not share them with some
one. So he made up his mind that he must tell them to her—though to
no other one.</p>
<p>"I must tell her," he said.</p>
<p>"Oh yes," she replied; and he felt her hand tremble in his, and
dropped it. He had forgotten that he thus held her as all these
thoughts pressed upon his brain.</p>
<p>"I will tell it to her, but to no one else. If I might advise you, I
would say that it will be well for you now to take some rest. You are
agitated, <span class="nowrap">and—"</span></p>
<p>"Agitated! yes. But you are right, Sir Peregrine. I will go at once
to my room. And <span class="nowrap">then—"</span></p>
<p>"Then, perhaps,—in the course of the morning, you will see me
again."</p>
<p>"Where?—will you come to me there?"</p>
<p>"I will see you in her room, in her dressing-room. She will be down
stairs, you know." From which last words the tidings were conveyed to
Lady Mason that she was not to see Mrs. Orme again.</p>
<p>And then she went, and as she slowly made her way across the hall she
felt that all of evil, all of punishment that she had ever
anticipated, had now fallen upon her. There are periods in the lives
of some of us—I trust but of few—when, with the silent inner voice
of suffering, we call on the mountains to fall and crush us, and on
the earth to gape open and take us in. When, with an agony of
intensity, we wish that our mothers had been barren. In those moments
the poorest and most desolate are objects to us of envy, for their
sufferings can be as nothing to our own. Lady Mason, as she crept
silently across the hall, saw a servant girl pass down towards the
entrance to the kitchen, and would have given all, all that she had
in the world, to have changed places with that girl. But no change
was possible for her. Neither would the mountains crush her, nor
would the earth take her in. There was her burden, and she must bear
it to the end. There was the bed which she had made for herself, and
she must lie upon it. No escape was possible to her. She had herself
mixed the cup, and she must now drink of it to the dregs.</p>
<p>Slowly and very silently she made her way up to her own room, and
having closed the door behind her sat herself down upon the bed. It
was as yet early in the morning, and the servant had not been in the
chamber. There was no fire there although it was still mid-winter. Of
such details as these Sir Peregrine had remembered nothing when he
recommended her to go to her own room. Nor did she think of them at
first as she placed herself on the bed-side. But soon the bitter air
pierced her through and through, and she shivered with the cold as
she sat there. After a while she got herself a shawl, wrapped it
close around her, and then sat down again. She bethought herself that
she might have to remain in this way for hours, so she rose again and
locked the door. It would add greatly to her immediate misery if the
servants were to come while she was there, and see her in her
wretchedness. Presently the girls did come, and being unable to
obtain entrance were told by Lady Mason that she wanted the chamber
for the present. Whereupon they offered to light the fire, but she
declared that she was not cold. Her teeth were shaking in her head,
but any suffering was better than the suffering of being seen.</p>
<div class="center"><SPAN name="ill45" id="ill45"></SPAN>
<table style="margin: 0 auto" cellpadding="4px">
<tr>
<td align="center">
<SPAN href="images/ill45.jpg">
<ANTIMG src="images/ill45-t.jpg" height-obs="500" alt="Lady Mason after her Confession." /></SPAN>
</td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td align="center">
<span class="caption">Lady Mason after her Confession.<br/>
Click to <SPAN href="images/ill45.jpg">ENLARGE</SPAN></span>
</td>
</tr>
</table></div>
<p>She did not lie down, or cover herself further than she was covered
with that shawl, nor did she move from her place for more than an
hour. By degrees she became used to the cold. She was numbed, and as
it were, half dead in all her limbs, but she had ceased to shake as
she sat there, and her mind had gone back to the misery of her
position. There was so much for her behind that was worse! What
should she do when even this retirement should not be allowed to her?
Instead of longing for the time when she should be summoned to meet
Sir Peregrine, she dreaded its coming. It would bring her nearer to
that other meeting when she would have to bow her head and crouch
before her son.</p>
<p>She had been there above an hour and was in truth ill with the cold
when she heard,—and scarcely heard,—a light step come quickly along
the passage towards her door. Her woman's ear instantly told her who
owned that step, and her heart once more rose with hope. Was she
coming there to comfort her, to speak to the poor bruised sinner one
word of feminine sympathy? The quick light step stopped at the door,
there was a pause, and then a low, low knock was heard. Lady Mason
asked no question, but dropping from the bed hurried to the door and
turned the key. She turned the key, and as the door was opened half
hid herself behind it;—and then Mrs. Orme was in the room.</p>
<p>"What! you have no fire?" she said, feeling that the air struck her
with a sudden chill. "Oh, this is dreadful! My poor, poor dear!" And
then she took hold of both Lady Mason's hands. Had she possessed the
wisdom of the serpent as well as the innocence of the dove she could
not have been wiser in her first mode of addressing the sufferer. For
she knew it all. During that dreadful hour Sir Peregrine had told her
the whole story; and very dreadful that hour had been to her. He,
when he attempted to give counsel in the matter, had utterly failed.
He had not known what to suggest, nor could she say what it might be
wisest for them all to do; but on one point her mind had been at once
resolved. The woman who had once been her friend, whom she had
learned to love, should not leave the house without some sympathy and
womanly care. The guilt was very bad; yes, it was terrible; she
acknowledged that it was a thing to be thought of only with
shuddering. But the guilt of twenty years ago did not strike her
senses so vividly as the abject misery of the present day. There was
no pity in her bosom for Mr. Joseph Mason when she heard the story,
but she was full of pity for her who had committed the crime. It was
twenty years ago, and had not the sinner repented? Besides, was she
to be the judge? "Judge not, and ye shall not be judged," she said,
when she thought that Sir Peregrine spoke somewhat harshly in the
matter. So she said, altogether misinterpreting the Scripture in her
desire to say something in favour of the poor woman.</p>
<p>But when it was hinted to her that Lady Mason might return to Orley
Farm without being again seen by her, her woman's heart at once
rebelled. "If she has done wrong," said Mrs.
<span class="nowrap">Orme—</span></p>
<p>"She has done great wrong—fearful wrong," said Sir Peregrine.</p>
<p>"It will not hurt me to see her because she has done wrong. Not see
her while she is in the house! If she were in the prison, would I not
go to see her?" And then Sir Peregrine had said no more, but he loved
his daughter-in-law all the better for her unwonted vehemence.</p>
<p>"You will do what is right," he said—"as you always do." Then he
left her; and she, after standing for a few moments while she shaped
her thoughts, went straight away to Lady Mason's room.</p>
<p>She took Lady Mason by both her hands and found that they were icy
cold. "Oh, this is dreadful," she said. "Come with me, dear." But
Lady Mason still stood, up by the bed-head, whither she had retreated
from the door. Her eyes were still cast upon the ground and she
leaned back as Mrs. Orme held her, as though by her weight she would
hinder her friend from leading her from the room.</p>
<p>"You are frightfully cold," said Mrs. Orme.</p>
<p>"Has he told you?" said Lady Mason, asking the question in the lowest
possible whisper, and still holding back as she spoke.</p>
<p>"Yes; he has told me;—but no one else—no one else." And then for a
few moments nothing was spoken between them.</p>
<p>"Oh, that I could die!" said the poor wretch, expressing in words
that terrible wish that the mountains might fall upon her and crush
her.</p>
<p>"You must not say that. That would be wicked, you know. He can
comfort you. Do you not know that He will comfort you, if you are
sorry for your sins and go to Him?"</p>
<p>But the woman in her intense suffering could not acknowledge to
herself any idea of comfort. "Ah, me!" she exclaimed, with a deep
bursting sob which went straight to Mrs. Orme's heart. And then a
convulsive fit of trembling seized her so strongly that Mrs. Orme
could hardly continue to hold her hands.</p>
<p>"You are ill with the cold," she said. "Come with me, Lady Mason, you
shall not stay here longer."</p>
<p>Lady Mason then permitted herself to be led out of the room, and the
two went quickly down the passage to the head of the front stairs,
and from thence to Mrs. Orme's room. In crossing the house they had
seen no one and been seen by no one; and Lady Mason when she came to
the door hurried in, that she might again hide herself in security
for the moment. As soon as the door was closed Mrs. Orme placed her
in an arm-chair which she wheeled up to the front of the fire, and
seating herself on a stool at the poor sinner's feet, chafed her
hands within her own. She took away the shawl and made her stretch
out her feet towards the fire, and thus seated close to her, she
spoke no word for the next half-hour as to the terrible fact that had
become known to her. Then, on a sudden, as though the ice of her
heart had thawed from the warmth of the other's kindness, Lady Mason
burst into a flood of tears, and flinging herself upon her friend's
neck and bosom begged with earnest piteousness to be forgiven.</p>
<p>And Mrs. Orme did forgive her. Many will think that she was wrong to
do so, and I fear it must be acknowledged that she was not strong
minded. By forgiving her I do not mean that she pronounced absolution
for the sin of past years, or that she endeavoured to make the sinner
think that she was no worse for her sin. Mrs. Orme was a good
churchwoman but not strong, individually, in points of doctrine. All
that she left mainly to the woman's conscience and her own dealings
with her Saviour,—merely saying a word of salutary counsel as to a
certain spiritual pastor who might be of aid. But Mrs. Orme forgave
her,—as regarded herself. She had already, while all this was
unknown, taken this woman to her heart as pure and good. It now
appeared that the woman had not been pure, had not been good!—And
then she took her to her heart again! Criminal as the woman was,
disgraced and debased, subject almost to the heaviest penalties of
outraged law and justice, a felon against whom the actual hands of
the law's myrmidons would probably soon prevail, a creature doomed to
bear the scorn of the lowest of her fellow-creatures,—such as she
was, this other woman, pure and high, so shielded from the world's
impurity that nothing ignoble might touch her,—this lady took her to
her heart again and promised in her ear with low sweet words of
consolation that they should still be friends. I cannot say that Mrs.
Orme was right. That she was weak minded I feel nearly certain. But,
perhaps, this weakness of mind may never be brought against her to
her injury, either in this world or in the next.</p>
<p>I will not pretend to give the words which passed between them at
that interview. After a while Lady Mason allowed herself to be guided
all in all by her friend's advice as though she herself had been a
child. It was decided that for the present,—that is for the next day
or two,—Lady Mason should keep her room at The Cleeve as an invalid.
Counterfeit in this there would be none certainly, for indeed she was
hardly fit for any place but her own bed. If inclined and able to
leave her room, she should be made welcome to the use of Mrs. Orme's
dressing-room. It would only be necessary to warn Peregrine that for
the present he must abstain from coming there. The servants, Mrs.
Orme said, had heard of their master's intended marriage. They would
now hear that this intention had been abandoned. On this they would
put their own construction, and would account in their own fashion
for the fact that Sir Peregrine and his guest no longer saw each
other. But no suspicion of the truth would get abroad when it was
seen that Lady Mason was still treated as a guest at The Cleeve. As
to such future steps as might be necessary to be taken, Mrs. Orme
would consult with Sir Peregrine, and tell Lady Mason from time to
time. And as for the sad truth, the terrible truth,—that, at any
rate for the present, should be told to no other ears. And so the
whole morning was spent, and Mrs. Orme saw neither Sir Peregrine nor
her son till she went down to the library in the first gloom of the
winter evening.</p>
<div style="break-after:column;"></div><br />