<p><SPAN name="link2HCH0028" id="link2HCH0028"></SPAN></p>
<h2> CHAPTER 28. Mr. MICAWBER'S GAUNTLET </h2>
<p>Until the day arrived on which I was to entertain my newly-found old
friends, I lived principally on Dora and coffee. In my love-lorn
condition, my appetite languished; and I was glad of it, for I felt as
though it would have been an act of perfidy towards Dora to have a natural
relish for my dinner. The quantity of walking exercise I took, was not in
this respect attended with its usual consequence, as the disappointment
counteracted the fresh air. I have my doubts, too, founded on the acute
experience acquired at this period of my life, whether a sound enjoyment
of animal food can develop itself freely in any human subject who is
always in torment from tight boots. I think the extremities require to be
at peace before the stomach will conduct itself with vigour.</p>
<p>On the occasion of this domestic little party, I did not repeat my former
extensive preparations. I merely provided a pair of soles, a small leg of
mutton, and a pigeon-pie. Mrs. Crupp broke out into rebellion on my first
bashful hint in reference to the cooking of the fish and joint, and said,
with a dignified sense of injury, 'No! No, sir! You will not ask me sich a
thing, for you are better acquainted with me than to suppose me capable of
doing what I cannot do with ampial satisfaction to my own feelings!' But,
in the end, a compromise was effected; and Mrs. Crupp consented to achieve
this feat, on condition that I dined from home for a fortnight afterwards.</p>
<p>And here I may remark, that what I underwent from Mrs. Crupp, in
consequence of the tyranny she established over me, was dreadful. I never
was so much afraid of anyone. We made a compromise of everything. If I
hesitated, she was taken with that wonderful disorder which was always
lying in ambush in her system, ready, at the shortest notice, to prey upon
her vitals. If I rang the bell impatiently, after half-a-dozen unavailing
modest pulls, and she appeared at last—which was not by any means to
be relied upon—she would appear with a reproachful aspect, sink
breathless on a chair near the door, lay her hand upon her nankeen bosom,
and become so ill, that I was glad, at any sacrifice of brandy or anything
else, to get rid of her. If I objected to having my bed made at five
o'clock in the afternoon—which I do still think an uncomfortable
arrangement—one motion of her hand towards the same nankeen region
of wounded sensibility was enough to make me falter an apology. In short,
I would have done anything in an honourable way rather than give Mrs.
Crupp offence; and she was the terror of my life.</p>
<p>I bought a second-hand dumb-waiter for this dinner-party, in preference to
re-engaging the handy young man; against whom I had conceived a prejudice,
in consequence of meeting him in the Strand, one Sunday morning, in a
waistcoat remarkably like one of mine, which had been missing since the
former occasion. The 'young gal' was re-engaged; but on the stipulation
that she should only bring in the dishes, and then withdraw to the
landing-place, beyond the outer door; where a habit of sniffing she had
contracted would be lost upon the guests, and where her retiring on the
plates would be a physical impossibility.</p>
<p>Having laid in the materials for a bowl of punch, to be compounded by Mr.
Micawber; having provided a bottle of lavender-water, two wax-candles, a
paper of mixed pins, and a pincushion, to assist Mrs. Micawber in her
toilette at my dressing-table; having also caused the fire in my bedroom
to be lighted for Mrs. Micawber's convenience; and having laid the cloth
with my own hands, I awaited the result with composure.</p>
<p>At the appointed time, my three visitors arrived together. Mr. Micawber
with more shirt-collar than usual, and a new ribbon to his eye-glass; Mrs.
Micawber with her cap in a whitey-brown paper parcel; Traddles carrying
the parcel, and supporting Mrs. Micawber on his arm. They were all
delighted with my residence. When I conducted Mrs. Micawber to my
dressing-table, and she saw the scale on which it was prepared for her,
she was in such raptures, that she called Mr. Micawber to come in and
look.</p>
<p>'My dear Copperfield,' said Mr. Micawber, 'this is luxurious. This is a
way of life which reminds me of the period when I was myself in a state of
celibacy, and Mrs. Micawber had not yet been solicited to plight her faith
at the Hymeneal altar.'</p>
<p>'He means, solicited by him, Mr. Copperfield,' said Mrs. Micawber, archly.
'He cannot answer for others.'</p>
<p>'My dear,' returned Mr. Micawber with sudden seriousness, 'I have no
desire to answer for others. I am too well aware that when, in the
inscrutable decrees of Fate, you were reserved for me, it is possible you
may have been reserved for one, destined, after a protracted struggle, at
length to fall a victim to pecuniary involvements of a complicated nature.
I understand your allusion, my love. I regret it, but I can bear it.'</p>
<p>'Micawber!' exclaimed Mrs. Micawber, in tears. 'Have I deserved this! I,
who never have deserted you; who never WILL desert you, Micawber!' 'My
love,' said Mr. Micawber, much affected, 'you will forgive, and our old
and tried friend Copperfield will, I am sure, forgive, the momentary
laceration of a wounded spirit, made sensitive by a recent collision with
the Minion of Power—in other words, with a ribald Turncock attached
to the water-works—and will pity, not condemn, its excesses.'</p>
<p>Mr. Micawber then embraced Mrs. Micawber, and pressed my hand; leaving me
to infer from this broken allusion that his domestic supply of water had
been cut off that afternoon, in consequence of default in the payment of
the company's rates.</p>
<p>To divert his thoughts from this melancholy subject, I informed Mr.
Micawber that I relied upon him for a bowl of punch, and led him to the
lemons. His recent despondency, not to say despair, was gone in a moment.
I never saw a man so thoroughly enjoy himself amid the fragrance of
lemon-peel and sugar, the odour of burning rum, and the steam of boiling
water, as Mr. Micawber did that afternoon. It was wonderful to see his
face shining at us out of a thin cloud of these delicate fumes, as he
stirred, and mixed, and tasted, and looked as if he were making, instead
of punch, a fortune for his family down to the latest posterity. As to
Mrs. Micawber, I don't know whether it was the effect of the cap, or the
lavender-water, or the pins, or the fire, or the wax-candles, but she came
out of my room, comparatively speaking, lovely. And the lark was never
gayer than that excellent woman.</p>
<p>I suppose—I never ventured to inquire, but I suppose—that Mrs.
Crupp, after frying the soles, was taken ill. Because we broke down at
that point. The leg of mutton came up very red within, and very pale
without: besides having a foreign substance of a gritty nature sprinkled
over it, as if if had had a fall into the ashes of that remarkable kitchen
fireplace. But we were not in condition to judge of this fact from the
appearance of the gravy, forasmuch as the 'young gal' had dropped it all
upon the stairs—where it remained, by the by, in a long train, until
it was worn out. The pigeon-pie was not bad, but it was a delusive pie:
the crust being like a disappointing head, phrenologically speaking: full
of lumps and bumps, with nothing particular underneath. In short, the
banquet was such a failure that I should have been quite unhappy—about
the failure, I mean, for I was always unhappy about Dora—if I had
not been relieved by the great good humour of my company, and by a bright
suggestion from Mr. Micawber.</p>
<p>'My dear friend Copperfield,' said Mr. Micawber, 'accidents will occur in
the best-regulated families; and in families not regulated by that
pervading influence which sanctifies while it enhances the—a—I
would say, in short, by the influence of Woman, in the lofty character of
Wife, they may be expected with confidence, and must be borne with
philosophy. If you will allow me to take the liberty of remarking that
there are few comestibles better, in their way, than a Devil, and that I
believe, with a little division of labour, we could accomplish a good one
if the young person in attendance could produce a gridiron, I would put it
to you, that this little misfortune may be easily repaired.'</p>
<p>There was a gridiron in the pantry, on which my morning rasher of bacon
was cooked. We had it in, in a twinkling, and immediately applied
ourselves to carrying Mr. Micawber's idea into effect. The division of
labour to which he had referred was this:—Traddles cut the mutton
into slices; Mr. Micawber (who could do anything of this sort to
perfection) covered them with pepper, mustard, salt, and cayenne; I put
them on the gridiron, turned them with a fork, and took them off, under
Mr. Micawber's direction; and Mrs. Micawber heated, and continually
stirred, some mushroom ketchup in a little saucepan. When we had slices
enough done to begin upon, we fell-to, with our sleeves still tucked up at
the wrist, more slices sputtering and blazing on the fire, and our
attention divided between the mutton on our plates, and the mutton then
preparing.</p>
<p>What with the novelty of this cookery, the excellence of it, the bustle of
it, the frequent starting up to look after it, the frequent sitting down
to dispose of it as the crisp slices came off the gridiron hot and hot,
the being so busy, so flushed with the fire, so amused, and in the midst
of such a tempting noise and savour, we reduced the leg of mutton to the
bone. My own appetite came back miraculously. I am ashamed to record it,
but I really believe I forgot Dora for a little while. I am satisfied that
Mr. and Mrs. Micawber could not have enjoyed the feast more, if they had
sold a bed to provide it. Traddles laughed as heartily, almost the whole
time, as he ate and worked. Indeed we all did, all at once; and I dare say
there was never a greater success.</p>
<p>We were at the height of our enjoyment, and were all busily engaged, in
our several departments, endeavouring to bring the last batch of slices to
a state of perfection that should crown the feast, when I was aware of a
strange presence in the room, and my eyes encountered those of the staid
Littimer, standing hat in hand before me.</p>
<p>'What's the matter?' I involuntarily asked.</p>
<p>'I beg your pardon, sir, I was directed to come in. Is my master not here,
sir?'</p>
<p>'No.'</p>
<p>'Have you not seen him, sir?'</p>
<p>'No; don't you come from him?'</p>
<p>'Not immediately so, sir.'</p>
<p>'Did he tell you you would find him here?'</p>
<p>'Not exactly so, sir. But I should think he might be here tomorrow, as he
has not been here today.' 'Is he coming up from Oxford?'</p>
<p>'I beg, sir,' he returned respectfully, 'that you will be seated, and
allow me to do this.' With which he took the fork from my unresisting
hand, and bent over the gridiron, as if his whole attention were
concentrated on it.</p>
<p>We should not have been much discomposed, I dare say, by the appearance of
Steerforth himself, but we became in a moment the meekest of the meek
before his respectable serving-man. Mr. Micawber, humming a tune, to show
that he was quite at ease, subsided into his chair, with the handle of a
hastily concealed fork sticking out of the bosom of his coat, as if he had
stabbed himself. Mrs. Micawber put on her brown gloves, and assumed a
genteel languor. Traddles ran his greasy hands through his hair, and stood
it bolt upright, and stared in confusion on the table-cloth. As for me, I
was a mere infant at the head of my own table; and hardly ventured to
glance at the respectable phenomenon, who had come from Heaven knows
where, to put my establishment to rights.</p>
<p>Meanwhile he took the mutton off the gridiron, and gravely handed it
round. We all took some, but our appreciation of it was gone, and we
merely made a show of eating it. As we severally pushed away our plates,
he noiselessly removed them, and set on the cheese. He took that off, too,
when it was done with; cleared the table; piled everything on the
dumb-waiter; gave us our wine-glasses; and, of his own accord, wheeled the
dumb-waiter into the pantry. All this was done in a perfect manner, and he
never raised his eyes from what he was about. Yet his very elbows, when he
had his back towards me, seemed to teem with the expression of his fixed
opinion that I was extremely young.</p>
<p>'Can I do anything more, sir?'</p>
<p>I thanked him and said, No; but would he take no dinner himself?</p>
<p>'None, I am obliged to you, sir.'</p>
<p>'Is Mr. Steerforth coming from Oxford?'</p>
<p>'I beg your pardon, sir?'</p>
<p>'Is Mr. Steerforth coming from Oxford?'</p>
<p>'I should imagine that he might be here tomorrow, sir. I rather thought he
might have been here today, sir. The mistake is mine, no doubt, sir.'</p>
<p>'If you should see him first—' said I.</p>
<p>'If you'll excuse me, sir, I don't think I shall see him first.'</p>
<p>'In case you do,' said I, 'pray say that I am sorry he was not here today,
as an old schoolfellow of his was here.'</p>
<p>'Indeed, sir!' and he divided a bow between me and Traddles, with a glance
at the latter.</p>
<p>He was moving softly to the door, when, in a forlorn hope of saying
something naturally—which I never could, to this man—I said:</p>
<p>'Oh! Littimer!'</p>
<p>'Sir!'</p>
<p>'Did you remain long at Yarmouth, that time?'</p>
<p>'Not particularly so, sir.'</p>
<p>'You saw the boat completed?'</p>
<p>'Yes, sir. I remained behind on purpose to see the boat completed.'</p>
<p>'I know!' He raised his eyes to mine respectfully.</p>
<p>'Mr. Steerforth has not seen it yet, I suppose?'</p>
<p>'I really can't say, sir. I think—but I really can't say, sir. I
wish you good night, sir.'</p>
<p>He comprehended everybody present, in the respectful bow with which he
followed these words, and disappeared. My visitors seemed to breathe more
freely when he was gone; but my own relief was very great, for besides the
constraint, arising from that extraordinary sense of being at a
disadvantage which I always had in this man's presence, my conscience had
embarrassed me with whispers that I had mistrusted his master, and I could
not repress a vague uneasy dread that he might find it out. How was it,
having so little in reality to conceal, that I always DID feel as if this
man were finding me out?</p>
<p>Mr. Micawber roused me from this reflection, which was blended with a
certain remorseful apprehension of seeing Steerforth himself, by bestowing
many encomiums on the absent Littimer as a most respectable fellow, and a
thoroughly admirable servant. Mr. Micawber, I may remark, had taken his
full share of the general bow, and had received it with infinite
condescension.</p>
<p>'But punch, my dear Copperfield,' said Mr. Micawber, tasting it, 'like
time and tide, waits for no man. Ah! it is at the present moment in high
flavour. My love, will you give me your opinion?'</p>
<p>Mrs. Micawber pronounced it excellent.</p>
<p>'Then I will drink,' said Mr. Micawber, 'if my friend Copperfield will
permit me to take that social liberty, to the days when my friend
Copperfield and myself were younger, and fought our way in the world side
by side. I may say, of myself and Copperfield, in words we have sung
together before now, that</p>
<p>We twa hae run about the braes<br/>
And pu'd the gowans' fine<br/>
—in a figurative point of view—on several occasions. I am not exactly<br/>
aware,' said Mr. Micawber, with the old roll in his voice, and the old<br/>
indescribable air of saying something genteel, 'what gowans may be, but<br/>
I have no doubt that Copperfield and myself would frequently have taken<br/>
a pull at them, if it had been feasible.'<br/></p>
<p>Mr. Micawber, at the then present moment, took a pull at his punch. So we
all did: Traddles evidently lost in wondering at what distant time Mr.
Micawber and I could have been comrades in the battle of the world.</p>
<p>'Ahem!' said Mr. Micawber, clearing his throat, and warming with the punch
and with the fire. 'My dear, another glass?'</p>
<p>Mrs. Micawber said it must be very little; but we couldn't allow that, so
it was a glassful.</p>
<p>'As we are quite confidential here, Mr. Copperfield,' said Mrs. Micawber,
sipping her punch, 'Mr. Traddles being a part of our domesticity, I should
much like to have your opinion on Mr. Micawber's prospects. For corn,'
said Mrs. Micawber argumentatively, 'as I have repeatedly said to Mr.
Micawber, may be gentlemanly, but it is not remunerative. Commission to
the extent of two and ninepence in a fortnight cannot, however limited our
ideas, be considered remunerative.'</p>
<p>We were all agreed upon that.</p>
<p>'Then,' said Mrs. Micawber, who prided herself on taking a clear view of
things, and keeping Mr. Micawber straight by her woman's wisdom, when he
might otherwise go a little crooked, 'then I ask myself this question. If
corn is not to be relied upon, what is? Are coals to be relied upon? Not
at all. We have turned our attention to that experiment, on the suggestion
of my family, and we find it fallacious.'</p>
<p>Mr. Micawber, leaning back in his chair with his hands in his pockets,
eyed us aside, and nodded his head, as much as to say that the case was
very clearly put.</p>
<p>'The articles of corn and coals,' said Mrs. Micawber, still more
argumentatively, 'being equally out of the question, Mr. Copperfield, I
naturally look round the world, and say, "What is there in which a person
of Mr. Micawber's talent is likely to succeed?" And I exclude the doing
anything on commission, because commission is not a certainty. What is
best suited to a person of Mr. Micawber's peculiar temperament is, I am
convinced, a certainty.'</p>
<p>Traddles and I both expressed, by a feeling murmur, that this great
discovery was no doubt true of Mr. Micawber, and that it did him much
credit.</p>
<p>'I will not conceal from you, my dear Mr. Copperfield,' said Mrs.
Micawber, 'that I have long felt the Brewing business to be particularly
adapted to Mr. Micawber. Look at Barclay and Perkins! Look at Truman,
Hanbury, and Buxton! It is on that extensive footing that Mr. Micawber, I
know from my own knowledge of him, is calculated to shine; and the
profits, I am told, are e-NOR-MOUS! But if Mr. Micawber cannot get into
those firms—which decline to answer his letters, when he offers his
services even in an inferior capacity—what is the use of dwelling
upon that idea? None. I may have a conviction that Mr. Micawber's manners—'</p>
<p>'Hem! Really, my dear,' interposed Mr. Micawber.</p>
<p>'My love, be silent,' said Mrs. Micawber, laying her brown glove on his
hand. 'I may have a conviction, Mr. Copperfield, that Mr. Micawber's
manners peculiarly qualify him for the Banking business. I may argue
within myself, that if I had a deposit at a banking-house, the manners of
Mr. Micawber, as representing that banking-house, would inspire
confidence, and must extend the connexion. But if the various
banking-houses refuse to avail themselves of Mr. Micawber's abilities, or
receive the offer of them with contumely, what is the use of dwelling upon
THAT idea? None. As to originating a banking-business, I may know that
there are members of my family who, if they chose to place their money in
Mr. Micawber's hands, might found an establishment of that description.
But if they do NOT choose to place their money in Mr. Micawber's hands—which
they don't—what is the use of that? Again I contend that we are no
farther advanced than we were before.'</p>
<p>I shook my head, and said, 'Not a bit.' Traddles also shook his head, and
said, 'Not a bit.'</p>
<p>'What do I deduce from this?' Mrs. Micawber went on to say, still with the
same air of putting a case lucidly. 'What is the conclusion, my dear Mr.
Copperfield, to which I am irresistibly brought? Am I wrong in saying, it
is clear that we must live?'</p>
<p>I answered 'Not at all!' and Traddles answered 'Not at all!' and I found
myself afterwards sagely adding, alone, that a person must either live or
die.</p>
<p>'Just so,' returned Mrs. Micawber, 'It is precisely that. And the fact is,
my dear Mr. Copperfield, that we can not live without something widely
different from existing circumstances shortly turning up. Now I am
convinced, myself, and this I have pointed out to Mr. Micawber several
times of late, that things cannot be expected to turn up of themselves. We
must, in a measure, assist to turn them up. I may be wrong, but I have
formed that opinion.'</p>
<p>Both Traddles and I applauded it highly.</p>
<p>'Very well,' said Mrs. Micawber. 'Then what do I recommend? Here is Mr.
Micawber with a variety of qualifications—with great talent—'</p>
<p>'Really, my love,' said Mr. Micawber.</p>
<p>'Pray, my dear, allow me to conclude. Here is Mr. Micawber, with a variety
of qualifications, with great talent—I should say, with genius, but
that may be the partiality of a wife—'</p>
<p>Traddles and I both murmured 'No.'</p>
<p>'And here is Mr. Micawber without any suitable position or employment.
Where does that responsibility rest? Clearly on society. Then I would make
a fact so disgraceful known, and boldly challenge society to set it right.
It appears to me, my dear Mr. Copperfield,' said Mrs. Micawber, forcibly,
'that what Mr. Micawber has to do, is to throw down the gauntlet to
society, and say, in effect, "Show me who will take that up. Let the party
immediately step forward."'</p>
<p>I ventured to ask Mrs. Micawber how this was to be done.</p>
<p>'By advertising,' said Mrs. Micawber—'in all the papers. It appears
to me, that what Mr. Micawber has to do, in justice to himself, in justice
to his family, and I will even go so far as to say in justice to society,
by which he has been hitherto overlooked, is to advertise in all the
papers; to describe himself plainly as so-and-so, with such and such
qualifications and to put it thus: "Now employ me, on remunerative terms,
and address, post-paid, to W. M., Post Office, Camden Town."'</p>
<p>'This idea of Mrs. Micawber's, my dear Copperfield,' said Mr. Micawber,
making his shirt-collar meet in front of his chin, and glancing at me
sideways, 'is, in fact, the Leap to which I alluded, when I last had the
pleasure of seeing you.'</p>
<p>'Advertising is rather expensive,' I remarked, dubiously.</p>
<p>'Exactly so!' said Mrs. Micawber, preserving the same logical air. 'Quite
true, my dear Mr. Copperfield! I have made the identical observation to
Mr. Micawber. It is for that reason especially, that I think Mr. Micawber
ought (as I have already said, in justice to himself, in justice to his
family, and in justice to society) to raise a certain sum of money—on
a bill.'</p>
<p>Mr. Micawber, leaning back in his chair, trifled with his eye-glass and
cast his eyes up at the ceiling; but I thought him observant of Traddles,
too, who was looking at the fire.</p>
<p>'If no member of my family,' said Mrs. Micawber, 'is possessed of
sufficient natural feeling to negotiate that bill—I believe there is
a better business-term to express what I mean—'</p>
<p>Mr. Micawber, with his eyes still cast up at the ceiling, suggested
'Discount.'</p>
<p>'To discount that bill,' said Mrs. Micawber, 'then my opinion is, that Mr.
Micawber should go into the City, should take that bill into the Money
Market, and should dispose of it for what he can get. If the individuals
in the Money Market oblige Mr. Micawber to sustain a great sacrifice, that
is between themselves and their consciences. I view it, steadily, as an
investment. I recommend Mr. Micawber, my dear Mr. Copperfield, to do the
same; to regard it as an investment which is sure of return, and to make
up his mind to any sacrifice.'</p>
<p>I felt, but I am sure I don't know why, that this was self-denying and
devoted in Mrs. Micawber, and I uttered a murmur to that effect. Traddles,
who took his tone from me, did likewise, still looking at the fire.</p>
<p>'I will not,' said Mrs. Micawber, finishing her punch, and gathering her
scarf about her shoulders, preparatory to her withdrawal to my bedroom: 'I
will not protract these remarks on the subject of Mr. Micawber's pecuniary
affairs. At your fireside, my dear Mr. Copperfield, and in the presence of
Mr. Traddles, who, though not so old a friend, is quite one of ourselves,
I could not refrain from making you acquainted with the course I advise
Mr. Micawber to take. I feel that the time is arrived when Mr. Micawber
should exert himself and—I will add—assert himself, and it
appears to me that these are the means. I am aware that I am merely a
female, and that a masculine judgement is usually considered more
competent to the discussion of such questions; still I must not forget
that, when I lived at home with my papa and mama, my papa was in the habit
of saying, "Emma's form is fragile, but her grasp of a subject is inferior
to none." That my papa was too partial, I well know; but that he was an
observer of character in some degree, my duty and my reason equally forbid
me to doubt.'</p>
<p>With these words, and resisting our entreaties that she would grace the
remaining circulation of the punch with her presence, Mrs. Micawber
retired to my bedroom. And really I felt that she was a noble woman—the
sort of woman who might have been a Roman matron, and done all manner of
heroic things, in times of public trouble.</p>
<p>In the fervour of this impression, I congratulated Mr. Micawber on the
treasure he possessed. So did Traddles. Mr. Micawber extended his hand to
each of us in succession, and then covered his face with his
pocket-handkerchief, which I think had more snuff upon it than he was
aware of. He then returned to the punch, in the highest state of
exhilaration.</p>
<p>He was full of eloquence. He gave us to understand that in our children we
lived again, and that, under the pressure of pecuniary difficulties, any
accession to their number was doubly welcome. He said that Mrs. Micawber
had latterly had her doubts on this point, but that he had dispelled them,
and reassured her. As to her family, they were totally unworthy of her,
and their sentiments were utterly indifferent to him, and they might—I
quote his own expression—go to the Devil.</p>
<p>Mr. Micawber then delivered a warm eulogy on Traddles. He said Traddles's
was a character, to the steady virtues of which he (Mr. Micawber) could
lay no claim, but which, he thanked Heaven, he could admire. He feelingly
alluded to the young lady, unknown, whom Traddles had honoured with his
affection, and who had reciprocated that affection by honouring and
blessing Traddles with her affection. Mr. Micawber pledged her. So did I.
Traddles thanked us both, by saying, with a simplicity and honesty I had
sense enough to be quite charmed with, 'I am very much obliged to you
indeed. And I do assure you, she's the dearest girl!—'</p>
<p>Mr. Micawber took an early opportunity, after that, of hinting, with the
utmost delicacy and ceremony, at the state of MY affections. Nothing but
the serious assurance of his friend Copperfield to the contrary, he
observed, could deprive him of the impression that his friend Copperfield
loved and was beloved. After feeling very hot and uncomfortable for some
time, and after a good deal of blushing, stammering, and denying, I said,
having my glass in my hand, 'Well! I would give them D.!' which so excited
and gratified Mr. Micawber, that he ran with a glass of punch into my
bedroom, in order that Mrs. Micawber might drink D., who drank it with
enthusiasm, crying from within, in a shrill voice, 'Hear, hear! My dear
Mr. Copperfield, I am delighted. Hear!' and tapping at the wall, by way of
applause.</p>
<p>Our conversation, afterwards, took a more worldly turn; Mr. Micawber
telling us that he found Camden Town inconvenient, and that the first
thing he contemplated doing, when the advertisement should have been the
cause of something satisfactory turning up, was to move. He mentioned a
terrace at the western end of Oxford Street, fronting Hyde Park, on which
he had always had his eye, but which he did not expect to attain
immediately, as it would require a large establishment. There would
probably be an interval, he explained, in which he should content himself
with the upper part of a house, over some respectable place of business—say
in Piccadilly,—which would be a cheerful situation for Mrs.
Micawber; and where, by throwing out a bow-window, or carrying up the roof
another story, or making some little alteration of that sort, they might
live, comfortably and reputably, for a few years. Whatever was reserved
for him, he expressly said, or wherever his abode might be, we might rely
on this—there would always be a room for Traddles, and a knife and
fork for me. We acknowledged his kindness; and he begged us to forgive his
having launched into these practical and business-like details, and to
excuse it as natural in one who was making entirely new arrangements in
life.</p>
<p>Mrs. Micawber, tapping at the wall again to know if tea were ready, broke
up this particular phase of our friendly conversation. She made tea for us
in a most agreeable manner; and, whenever I went near her, in handing
about the tea-cups and bread-and-butter, asked me, in a whisper, whether
D. was fair, or dark, or whether she was short, or tall: or something of
that kind; which I think I liked. After tea, we discussed a variety of
topics before the fire; and Mrs. Micawber was good enough to sing us (in a
small, thin, flat voice, which I remembered to have considered, when I
first knew her, the very table-beer of acoustics) the favourite ballads of
'The Dashing White Sergeant', and 'Little Tafflin'. For both of these
songs Mrs. Micawber had been famous when she lived at home with her papa
and mama. Mr. Micawber told us, that when he heard her sing the first one,
on the first occasion of his seeing her beneath the parental roof, she had
attracted his attention in an extraordinary degree; but that when it came
to Little Tafflin, he had resolved to win that woman or perish in the
attempt.</p>
<p>It was between ten and eleven o'clock when Mrs. Micawber rose to replace
her cap in the whitey-brown paper parcel, and to put on her bonnet. Mr.
Micawber took the opportunity of Traddles putting on his great-coat, to
slip a letter into my hand, with a whispered request that I would read it
at my leisure. I also took the opportunity of my holding a candle over the
banisters to light them down, when Mr. Micawber was going first, leading
Mrs. Micawber, and Traddles was following with the cap, to detain Traddles
for a moment on the top of the stairs.</p>
<p>'Traddles,' said I, 'Mr. Micawber don't mean any harm, poor fellow: but,
if I were you, I wouldn't lend him anything.'</p>
<p>'My dear Copperfield,' returned Traddles, smiling, 'I haven't got anything
to lend.'</p>
<p>'You have got a name, you know,' said I.</p>
<p>'Oh! You call THAT something to lend?' returned Traddles, with a
thoughtful look.</p>
<p>'Certainly.'</p>
<p>'Oh!' said Traddles. 'Yes, to be sure! I am very much obliged to you,
Copperfield; but—I am afraid I have lent him that already.'</p>
<p>'For the bill that is to be a certain investment?' I inquired.</p>
<p>'No,' said Traddles. 'Not for that one. This is the first I have heard of
that one. I have been thinking that he will most likely propose that one,
on the way home. Mine's another.'</p>
<p>'I hope there will be nothing wrong about it,' said I. 'I hope not,' said
Traddles. 'I should think not, though, because he told me, only the other
day, that it was provided for. That was Mr. Micawber's expression,
"Provided for."'</p>
<p>Mr. Micawber looking up at this juncture to where we were standing, I had
only time to repeat my caution. Traddles thanked me, and descended. But I
was much afraid, when I observed the good-natured manner in which he went
down with the cap in his hand, and gave Mrs. Micawber his arm, that he
would be carried into the Money Market neck and heels.</p>
<p>I returned to my fireside, and was musing, half gravely and half laughing,
on the character of Mr. Micawber and the old relations between us, when I
heard a quick step ascending the stairs. At first, I thought it was
Traddles coming back for something Mrs. Micawber had left behind; but as
the step approached, I knew it, and felt my heart beat high, and the blood
rush to my face, for it was Steerforth's.</p>
<p>I was never unmindful of Agnes, and she never left that sanctuary in my
thoughts—if I may call it so—where I had placed her from the
first. But when he entered, and stood before me with his hand out, the
darkness that had fallen on him changed to light, and I felt confounded
and ashamed of having doubted one I loved so heartily. I loved her none
the less; I thought of her as the same benignant, gentle angel in my life;
I reproached myself, not her, with having done him an injury; and I would
have made him any atonement if I had known what to make, and how to make
it.</p>
<p>'Why, Daisy, old boy, dumb-foundered!' laughed Steerforth, shaking my hand
heartily, and throwing it gaily away. 'Have I detected you in another
feast, you Sybarite! These Doctors' Commons fellows are the gayest men in
town, I believe, and beat us sober Oxford people all to nothing!' His
bright glance went merrily round the room, as he took the seat on the sofa
opposite to me, which Mrs. Micawber had recently vacated, and stirred the
fire into a blaze.</p>
<p>'I was so surprised at first,' said I, giving him welcome with all the
cordiality I felt, 'that I had hardly breath to greet you with,
Steerforth.'</p>
<p>'Well, the sight of me is good for sore eyes, as the Scotch say,' replied
Steerforth, 'and so is the sight of you, Daisy, in full bloom. How are
you, my Bacchanal?'</p>
<p>'I am very well,' said I; 'and not at all Bacchanalian tonight, though I
confess to another party of three.'</p>
<p>'All of whom I met in the street, talking loud in your praise,' returned
Steerforth. 'Who's our friend in the tights?'</p>
<p>I gave him the best idea I could, in a few words, of Mr. Micawber. He
laughed heartily at my feeble portrait of that gentleman, and said he was
a man to know, and he must know him. 'But who do you suppose our other
friend is?' said I, in my turn.</p>
<p>'Heaven knows,' said Steerforth. 'Not a bore, I hope? I thought he looked
a little like one.'</p>
<p>'Traddles!' I replied, triumphantly.</p>
<p>'Who's he?' asked Steerforth, in his careless way.</p>
<p>'Don't you remember Traddles? Traddles in our room at Salem House?'</p>
<p>'Oh! That fellow!' said Steerforth, beating a lump of coal on the top of
the fire, with the poker. 'Is he as soft as ever? And where the deuce did
you pick him up?'</p>
<p>I extolled Traddles in reply, as highly as I could; for I felt that
Steerforth rather slighted him. Steerforth, dismissing the subject with a
light nod, and a smile, and the remark that he would be glad to see the
old fellow too, for he had always been an odd fish, inquired if I could
give him anything to eat? During most of this short dialogue, when he had
not been speaking in a wild vivacious manner, he had sat idly beating on
the lump of coal with the poker. I observed that he did the same thing
while I was getting out the remains of the pigeon-pie, and so forth.</p>
<p>'Why, Daisy, here's a supper for a king!' he exclaimed, starting out of
his silence with a burst, and taking his seat at the table. 'I shall do it
justice, for I have come from Yarmouth.'</p>
<p>'I thought you came from Oxford?' I returned.</p>
<p>'Not I,' said Steerforth. 'I have been seafaring—better employed.'</p>
<p>'Littimer was here today, to inquire for you,' I remarked, 'and I
understood him that you were at Oxford; though, now I think of it, he
certainly did not say so.'</p>
<p>'Littimer is a greater fool than I thought him, to have been inquiring for
me at all,' said Steerforth, jovially pouring out a glass of wine, and
drinking to me. 'As to understanding him, you are a cleverer fellow than
most of us, Daisy, if you can do that.'</p>
<p>'That's true, indeed,' said I, moving my chair to the table. 'So you have
been at Yarmouth, Steerforth!' interested to know all about it. 'Have you
been there long?'</p>
<p>'No,' he returned. 'An escapade of a week or so.'</p>
<p>'And how are they all? Of course, little Emily is not married yet?'</p>
<p>'Not yet. Going to be, I believe—in so many weeks, or months, or
something or other. I have not seen much of 'em. By the by'; he laid down
his knife and fork, which he had been using with great diligence, and
began feeling in his pockets; 'I have a letter for you.'</p>
<p>'From whom?'</p>
<p>'Why, from your old nurse,' he returned, taking some papers out of his
breast pocket. "'J. Steerforth, Esquire, debtor, to The Willing Mind";
that's not it. Patience, and we'll find it presently. Old
what's-his-name's in a bad way, and it's about that, I believe.'</p>
<p>'Barkis, do you mean?'</p>
<p>'Yes!' still feeling in his pockets, and looking over their contents:
'it's all over with poor Barkis, I am afraid. I saw a little apothecary
there—surgeon, or whatever he is—who brought your worship into
the world. He was mighty learned about the case, to me; but the upshot of
his opinion was, that the carrier was making his last journey rather fast.—-Put
your hand into the breast pocket of my great-coat on the chair yonder, and
I think you'll find the letter. Is it there?'</p>
<p>'Here it is!' said I.</p>
<p>'That's right!'</p>
<p>It was from Peggotty; something less legible than usual, and brief. It
informed me of her husband's hopeless state, and hinted at his being 'a
little nearer' than heretofore, and consequently more difficult to manage
for his own comfort. It said nothing of her weariness and watching, and
praised him highly. It was written with a plain, unaffected, homely piety
that I knew to be genuine, and ended with 'my duty to my ever darling'—meaning
myself.</p>
<p>While I deciphered it, Steerforth continued to eat and drink.</p>
<p>'It's a bad job,' he said, when I had done; 'but the sun sets every day,
and people die every minute, and we mustn't be scared by the common lot.
If we failed to hold our own, because that equal foot at all men's doors
was heard knocking somewhere, every object in this world would slip from
us. No! Ride on! Rough-shod if need be, smooth-shod if that will do, but
ride on! Ride on over all obstacles, and win the race!'</p>
<p>'And win what race?' said I.</p>
<p>'The race that one has started in,' said he. 'Ride on!'</p>
<p>I noticed, I remember, as he paused, looking at me with his handsome head
a little thrown back, and his glass raised in his hand, that, though the
freshness of the sea-wind was on his face, and it was ruddy, there were
traces in it, made since I last saw it, as if he had applied himself to
some habitual strain of the fervent energy which, when roused, was so
passionately roused within him. I had it in my thoughts to remonstrate
with him upon his desperate way of pursuing any fancy that he took—such
as this buffeting of rough seas, and braving of hard weather, for example—when
my mind glanced off to the immediate subject of our conversation again,
and pursued that instead.</p>
<p>'I tell you what, Steerforth,' said I, 'if your high spirits will listen
to me—'</p>
<p>'They are potent spirits, and will do whatever you like,' he answered,
moving from the table to the fireside again.</p>
<p>'Then I tell you what, Steerforth. I think I will go down and see my old
nurse. It is not that I can do her any good, or render her any real
service; but she is so attached to me that my visit will have as much
effect on her, as if I could do both. She will take it so kindly that it
will be a comfort and support to her. It is no great effort to make, I am
sure, for such a friend as she has been to me. Wouldn't you go a day's
journey, if you were in my place?'</p>
<p>His face was thoughtful, and he sat considering a little before he
answered, in a low voice, 'Well! Go. You can do no harm.'</p>
<p>'You have just come back,' said I, 'and it would be in vain to ask you to
go with me?'</p>
<p>'Quite,' he returned. 'I am for Highgate tonight. I have not seen my
mother this long time, and it lies upon my conscience, for it's something
to be loved as she loves her prodigal son.—-Bah! Nonsense!—You
mean to go tomorrow, I suppose?' he said, holding me out at arm's length,
with a hand on each of my shoulders.</p>
<p>'Yes, I think so.'</p>
<p>'Well, then, don't go till next day. I wanted you to come and stay a few
days with us. Here I am, on purpose to bid you, and you fly off to
Yarmouth!'</p>
<p>'You are a nice fellow to talk of flying off, Steerforth, who are always
running wild on some unknown expedition or other!'</p>
<p>He looked at me for a moment without speaking, and then rejoined, still
holding me as before, and giving me a shake:</p>
<p>'Come! Say the next day, and pass as much of tomorrow as you can with us!
Who knows when we may meet again, else? Come! Say the next day! I want you
to stand between Rosa Dartle and me, and keep us asunder.'</p>
<p>'Would you love each other too much, without me?'</p>
<p>'Yes; or hate,' laughed Steerforth; 'no matter which. Come! Say the next
day!'</p>
<p>I said the next day; and he put on his great-coat and lighted his cigar,
and set off to walk home. Finding him in this intention, I put on my own
great-coat (but did not light my own cigar, having had enough of that for
one while) and walked with him as far as the open road: a dull road, then,
at night. He was in great spirits all the way; and when we parted, and I
looked after him going so gallantly and airily homeward, I thought of his
saying, 'Ride on over all obstacles, and win the race!' and wished, for
the first time, that he had some worthy race to run.</p>
<p>I was undressing in my own room, when Mr. Micawber's letter tumbled on the
floor. Thus reminded of it, I broke the seal and read as follows. It was
dated an hour and a half before dinner. I am not sure whether I have
mentioned that, when Mr. Micawber was at any particularly desperate
crisis, he used a sort of legal phraseology, which he seemed to think
equivalent to winding up his affairs.</p>
<p>'SIR—for I dare not say my dear Copperfield,</p>
<p>'It is expedient that I should inform you that the undersigned is Crushed.
Some flickering efforts to spare you the premature knowledge of his
calamitous position, you may observe in him this day; but hope has sunk
beneath the horizon, and the undersigned is Crushed.</p>
<p>'The present communication is penned within the personal range (I cannot
call it the society) of an individual, in a state closely bordering on
intoxication, employed by a broker. That individual is in legal possession
of the premises, under a distress for rent. His inventory includes, not
only the chattels and effects of every description belonging to the
undersigned, as yearly tenant of this habitation, but also those
appertaining to Mr. Thomas Traddles, lodger, a member of the Honourable
Society of the Inner Temple.</p>
<p>'If any drop of gloom were wanting in the overflowing cup, which is now
"commended" (in the language of an immortal Writer) to the lips of the
undersigned, it would be found in the fact, that a friendly acceptance
granted to the undersigned, by the before-mentioned Mr. Thomas Traddles,
for the sum Of 23l 4s 9 1/2d is over due, and is NOT provided for. Also,
in the fact that the living responsibilities clinging to the undersigned
will, in the course of nature, be increased by the sum of one more
helpless victim; whose miserable appearance may be looked for—in
round numbers—at the expiration of a period not exceeding six lunar
months from the present date.</p>
<p>'After premising thus much, it would be a work of supererogation to add,
that dust and ashes are for ever scattered</p>
<p>'On<br/>
'The<br/>
'Head<br/>
'Of<br/>
'WILKINS MICAWBER.'<br/></p>
<p>Poor Traddles! I knew enough of Mr. Micawber by this time, to foresee that
he might be expected to recover the blow; but my night's rest was sorely
distressed by thoughts of Traddles, and of the curate's daughter, who was
one of ten, down in Devonshire, and who was such a dear girl, and who
would wait for Traddles (ominous praise!) until she was sixty, or any age
that could be mentioned.</p>
<div style="break-after:column;"></div><br />