Back Aa

Barks and Purrs (Dramatic Reading)

<h2>ON THE TRAIN</h2> <ANTIMG border="0" alt=" " src="gifs/052.gif" width-obs="553" height-obs="270" /> KIKI-THE-DEMURE, TOBY-DOG, SHE and HE, have taken their places in a first-class compartment. The train rolls along towards distant mountains, and the freedom of Summer-time. TOBY, on a leash, lifts an inquiring nose to the window. HE has strewn the carriage with newspapers: KIKI-THE-DEMURE, silent and invisible in a closed basket, is under his immediate protection. SHE, leaning back against the dusty cushions, dreams of the mountain she loves best and of the low house on it, weighted down with jasmine and virginia-creeper. TOBY-DOG How fast this carriage goes! It can't be our regular coachman. I haven't seen the horses, but they smell very bad and make black smoke. Oh, Silent Dreamer, look at me and tell me—shall we arrive soon? (No response. TOBY gets fidgety and blows through his nostrils.) SHE Hush! Toby, hush! TOBY-DOG I've hardly said a word.... Shall we arrive soon? (He turns towards his master, who is reading, and puts a discreet paw on the edge of his knee.) HE 'Sh! ...  TOBY-DOG (resigned) Hard luck! No one wants to talk to me. I'm bored and what's more, I don't know this carriage well enough. I'm tired out. They woke me very early this morning. I amused myself by running all over the house. They had hidden the chairs under sheets, wrapped up the lamps, rolled up the rugs. Things were white and changed and awful. There was a horrid smell of camphor everywhere. My eyes filled with water, I sneezed under the chairs and slid on the bare floor in my haste to follow the maids' white aprons. They bustled about among trunks with such unwonted zeal, that I was sure something exceptional was going to happen. <ANTIMG border="0" alt=" " src="gifs/055.gif" width-obs="353" height-obs="211" align="right" /> At the last minute just as She came in, calling: "Toby's collar and the cat's basket! Quick! put the cat in his basket!"—just as she was saying that, my chum disappeared. It was indescribable! He, terrible to see, swore by all the gods, and struck the floor with his cane, furious because they had allowed his Kiki to get away. She called "Kiki!" at first supplicatingly, then in threatening tones, and the maids brought empty plates, meant to deceive, and yellow paper from the butcher's. I really thought my chum had left this world, when suddenly—there he was perched on top of the book-case, looking down on us with an expression of contempt in his green eyes. She put up her arms: "Kiki will you come down immediately! You are going to make us lose the train!" But he didn't come down and it made me dizzy—though I was on the ground—to see him way up there walking and turning about and miauling shrilly to tell us how impossible he found it to obey. He was about frantic and kept saying: "Heavens, he's going to fall." But She smiled skeptically, went out of the room and came back armed with the whip. The whip said, "crack!" twice only; then a miracle happened I think, 'cause the cat leaped to the floor, softer and more bouncey than our plaything, the ball of wool. I would have broken to pieces falling like that! ... He has been in this basket ever since.... (TOBY goes to the basket.) Ah! here's a little peek-hole.... I see his whiskers ... they're like white needles. Whew! What eyes! (He jumps back.) I'm rather afraid. One can't really shut a cat up; he always manages to get out somehow. ... He must suffer, poor fellow! Perhaps if I speak kindly to him ... (he calls very politely) Cat! <ANTIMG border="0" alt=" " src="gifs/056.gif" width-obs="479" height-obs="250" /> KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (spitting furiously) Khhh! ... TOBY-DOG (jumping back) Oh, you said a bad word! You look awful! Have you a pain anywhere? KIKI-THE-DEMURE Go away! I'm a martyr.... Go away I tell you, or I'll blow fire at you! TOBY-DOG (ingenuous) But why? KIKI-THE-DEMURE Why!--Because you're free, because I'm in this basket, because the basket's in a foul carriage which is shaking me to pieces, and because the serenity of those two exasperates me. TOBY-DOG Would you like me to look out and tell you what one sees from the carriage window? KIKI-THE-DEMURE Everything is equally odious to me. TOBY-DOG (having looked out, comes back) I haven't seen anything.... KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (bitterly) Thanks just the same. TOBY-DOG I mean I haven't seen anything that's easy to describe. Some green things which pass right close to us—so close and so fast that they give one a slap in the eye. A flat field turning 'round and 'round and over there, a little pointed steeple—it's running as fast as the carriage. Another field all red with blossoming clover has just given me another slap in the eye—a red slap. The earth is sinking in—or else we're going up, I'm not sure which. I see way off, far away, some green lawns dotted with white daisies—perhaps they're cows. KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (with sarcasm) Or wafers, for sealing letters—or anything you like. TOBY-DOG Aren't you the least little bit amused? KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (with a sinister laugh) Ha! Ask of the damned ... TOBY-DOG Of whom? KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (more and more melodramatic, but without conviction) ... of the damned in his vat of boiling oil, if anything amuses him! Mine is not physical torment. I suffer imprisonment, humiliation, darkness, neglect— (The train stops. A conductor on the platform cries "Aw-ll a-bor!! ... awl aborr!!") TOBY-DOG (bewildered) Someone's crying out! There's an accident!! Let's run!!! (He throws himself against the carriage door and scratches madly at it.) SHE, (half asleep) Toby dear, you're a nuisance! TOBY-DOG (distracted) Oh, you inexplicable person! How can you sit there quietly? Don't you hear those cries? They're stopping now—the accident has gone away. Wish I'd known... (The train starts again.) HE, (throwing down his paper) The poor beast is hungry. SHE, (now very wide awake) You think so? Well, I am too. But Toby is to eat very little. HE, (anxiously) And Kiki-the-Demure? SHE, (peremptorily) Kiki sulks, and he hid this morning, so he'll have even less than Toby. HE He isn't making a sound. Aren't you afraid he's sick? SHE No, he's simply vexed. KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (as soon as there's question of himself) Me-ow! HE, (tenderly and eagerly) Come my beautiful Kiki, my imprisoned one, come. You shall have cold roast-beef and some breast of chicken... (He opens the prison basket and KIKI puts forth his head, flattened on top like that of a serpent; then his long, striped body, cautiously, and so very slowly that one begins to think it's coming out by the yard.) <ANTIMG border="0" alt=" " src="gifs/061.gif" width-obs="491" height-obs="296" /> TOBY-DOG (pleasantly) Ah, there you are, cat! Well, now, proclaim your freedom! (KIKI, without replying, smoothes his ruffled fur.) <ANTIMG border="0" alt=" " src="gifs/062a.gif" width-obs="209" height-obs="290" /> TOBY-DOG Proclaim your freedom I tell you! It's the custom. Whenever a door is opened one must run, jump, twist oneself into half circles and cry out. KIKI-THE-DEMURE One? Who's one, pray? <ANTIMG border="0" alt=" " src="gifs/062b.gif" width-obs="291" height-obs="244" /> TOBY-DOG We dogs. KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (seated and very dignified) Would you have me bark, too? ... We have never followed the same rules of conduct, that I know of. TOBY-DOG (vexed) Oh very well, I don't insist. How do you like this carriage? KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (sniffing fastidiously) It's frightful.—However, the cushions are rather good for one's nails. (He suits the action to the word.) TOBY-DOG (aside) Now if I did that... KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (continuing to scratch the upholstery) Hon! May this spongy, gray cloth soothe my rage! ... Since morning, the whole universe has been in a state of monstrous revolt. He whom I love, and who venerates me, made not the least effort to defend me. I've submitted to humiliating contacts, been jolted to death, piercing whistles have shot through my head from ear to ear. Ho, ho, how good it is to relax the nerves and to imagine that, with gleeful claws, one tears the enemies' flesh in bloody shreds! Ho, ho! S-c-r-a-t-c-h, and lift the paws on high! Lift them high as possible! It's a supremely insolent gesture.... SHE I say, Kiki, when are you going to stop that? HE, (Indulgent and admiring) Let him alone. He's doing his nails. KIKI-THE-DEMURE He has spoken for me. I forgive him. But since it's allowed, I don't care any more about tearing the cushions ... When will I get out of this? Not that I'm afraid; they are both there, and the dog too, with their everyday faces ... I've twinges in my stomach. <ANTIMG border="0" alt=" " src="gifs/065.gif" width-obs="342" height-obs="146" /> (He yawns. The train stops. A conductor on the platform cries, "Aw-ll a-bor! Aw-ll a-b-o-r-r!!") TOBY-DOG (excited) Screaming again! Another accident?!--Let's run!... KIKI-THE-DEMURE Heavens, what a tiresome dog! What does it matter to him, if there is an accident? I don't believe in it moreover. It's the cry of a man, and men cry out for the pleasure of hearing their own voices. TOBY-DOG (calm again) I'm hungry. Can't we hope to eat soon, my mistress? I don't know what time it is in this strange country, but it seems to me... SHE Come now, we'll all have our luncheon. (She takes the things out of the basket, crumples up some tissue paper and breaks a crisp brown roll.) TOBY-DOG (chewing) What She gave me then must have been very good indeed to seem such a tiny bit. It melted in my mouth, there's not even the memory of it left... <ANTIMG border="0" alt=" " src="gifs/066.gif" width-obs="373" height-obs="211" /> KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (chewing) Breast of chicken! Purr-rr ... Goodness me! I was purring without knowing it! That won't do. They'll think me resigned to this journey. I must eat slowly, grim, and undeceived, eat for the sole purpose of keeping myself alive... SHE, (to the dog and cat) Allow me to have my luncheon now, if you please. I too, like cold chicken and the hearts of lettuce, dipped in salt... HE, (anxiously) What shall we do to make this cat go into his basket again? SHE I don't know. We'll see presently... TOBY-DOG Finished already? I could swallow three times that much. I say Cat, you're eating rather well for a martyr. KIKI-THE-DEMURE, (fibbing) Trouble digs a hole in one's interior. Move away please, I want to sleep now ... if I can. Perhaps a merciful dream will take me back to the house I've left, to the flowered cushion He gave me.... Home! sweet home! Rugs of bright colors for the delight of my eyes, a palm with nice shoots for me to eat, deep arm-chairs, under which I hide my woolen ball as a future surprise for myself—ah, and the cork hanging by a string to the door-latch! the tables covered with bibelots! I thread my way in and out among them and occasionally it amuses me to break some brittle thing. The dining-room is a temple! The vestibule, full of mystery; there unseen, I can watch those who come and go ... Oh narrow back-stairway, where the step of the milkman rings out for me like a morning angelus—farewell! farewell! my destiny carries me on, and who knows if ever ... But this is too sad! All the pretty things I've been saying have really begun to make me feel badly!! <ANTIMG border="0" alt=" " src="gifs/068.gif" width-obs="438" height-obs="295" /> (He begins a minute and mournful toilet. The train stops. A conductor on the platform cries, "Aw-ll-a-borr-a-borr!!") TOBY-DOG There it is again! An acci—Oh bother, I've had enough of that! HE, (anxiously) We're going to change trains in ten minutes. How about the cat? He'll never allow us to shut him up... SHE We'll see ... Suppose we put some meat in his basket? HE Or perhaps petting would... (They approach the redoubtable KIKI and both speak together.) HE Kiki, my beautiful Kiki, come jump on my knee, or on my shoulder. You like that as a rule. You'll doze there and then I'll put you gently into the basket. After all, it's open-work and has a comfortable cushion to protect you from the rough wicker. Come, my dear.... SHE Listen, Kiki. You must learn to act properly and to take life as it is. You can't stay there like that. We're going to change trains and a horrible guard will appear and say insulting things of you and your race. Besides you'd better obey, because if you don't, I—I'll give you a good whipping. (But before she can lift her hand against his sacred fur, Kiki gets up, stretches himself, arches his back, yawns,—to show the rosy lining of his mouth, and then walks to the open basket where he lies down with an admirable air of quiet insolence. He and She exchange eloquent glances.) <ANTIMG border="0" alt=" " src="gifs/071.gif" width-obs="490" height-obs="512" /> <hr style="width: 65%;" /> <div style="break-after:column;"></div>

1 of 2

2 of 2

Update Required To play the media you will need to either update your browser to a recent version or update your Flash plugin.