<SPAN name="startofbook"></SPAN>
<h1>Bernice Bobs Her Hair</h1>
<p>After dark on Saturday night one could stand on the first tee of
the golf-course and see the country-club windows as a yellow
expanse over a very black and wavy ocean. The waves of this
ocean, so to speak, were the heads of many curious caddies, a few
of the more ingenious chauffeurs, the golf professional's deaf
sister—and there were usually several stray, diffident waves who
might have rolled inside had they so desired. This was the
gallery.</p>
<p>The balcony was inside. It consisted of the circle of wicker
chairs that lined the wall of the combination clubroom and
ballroom. At these Saturday-night dances it was largely feminine;
a great babel of middle-aged ladies with sharp eyes and icy
hearts behind lorgnettes and large bosoms. The main function of
the balcony was critical, it occasionally showed grudging
admiration, but never approval, for it is well known among ladies
over thirty-five that when the younger set dance in the
summer-time it is with the very worst intentions in the world,
and if they are not bombarded with stony eyes stray couples will
dance weird barbaric interludes in the corners, and the more
popular, more dangerous, girls will sometimes be kissed in the
parked limousines of unsuspecting dowagers.</p>
<p>But, after all, this critical circle is not close enough to the
stage to see the actors' faces and catch the subtler byplay. It
can only frown and lean, ask questions and make satisfactory
deductions from its set of postulates, such as the one which
states that every young man with a large income leads the life of
a hunted partridge. It never really appreciates the drama of the
shifting, semi-cruel world of adolescence. No; boxes,
orchestra-circle, principals, and chorus be represented by the
medley of faces and voices that sway to the plaintive African
rhythm of Dyer's dance orchestra.</p>
<p>From sixteen-year-old Otis Ormonde, who has two more years at
Hill School, to G. Reece Stoddard, over whose bureau at home
hangs a Harvard law diploma; from little Madeleine Hogue, whose
hair still feels strange and uncomfortable on top of her head, to
Bessie MacRae, who has been the life of the party a little too
long—more than ten years—the medley is not only the centre of
the stage but contains the only people capable of getting an
unobstructed view of it.</p>
<p>With a flourish and a bang the music stops. The couples exchange
artificial, effortless smiles, facetiously repeat "<i>la</i>-de-<i>da</i>-<i>da</i>
dum-<i>dum</i>," and then the clatter of young feminine voices soars
over the burst of clapping.</p>
<p>A few disappointed stags caught in midfloor as they had been
about to cut in subsided listlessly back to the walls, because
this was not like the riotous Christmas dances—these summer
hops were considered just pleasantly warm and exciting, where
even the younger marrieds rose and performed ancient waltzes and
terrifying fox trots to the tolerant amusement of their younger
brothers and sisters.</p>
<p>Warren McIntyre, who casually attended Yale, being one of the
unfortunate stags, felt in his dinner-coat pocket for a cigarette
and strolled out onto the wide, semidark veranda, where couples
were scattered at tables, filling the lantern-hung night with
vague words and hazy laughter. He nodded here and there at the
less absorbed and as he passed each couple some half-forgotten
fragment of a story played in his mind, for it was not a large
city and every one was Who's Who to every one else's past. There,
for example, were Jim Strain and Ethel Demorest, who had been
privately engaged for three years. Every one knew that as soon as
Jim managed to hold a job for more than two months she would
marry him. Yet how bored they both looked, and how wearily Ethel
regarded Jim sometimes, as if she wondered why she had trained
the vines of her affection on such a wind-shaken poplar.</p>
<p>Warren was nineteen and rather pitying with those of his friends
who hadn't gone East to college. But, like most boys, he bragged
tremendously about the girls of his city when he was away from
it. There was Genevieve Ormonde, who regularly made the rounds of
dances, house-parties, and football games at Princeton, Yale,
Williams, and Cornell; there was black-eyed Roberta Dillon, who
was quite as famous to her own generation as Hiram Johnson or Ty
Cobb; and, of course, there was Marjorie Harvey, who besides
having a fairylike face and a dazzling, bewildering tongue was
already justly celebrated for having turned five cart-wheels in
succession during the last pump-and-slipper dance at New Haven.</p>
<p>Warren, who had grown up across the street from Marjorie, had
long been "crazy about her." Sometimes she seemed to reciprocate
his feeling with a faint gratitude, but she had tried him by her
infallible test and informed him gravely that she did not love
him. Her test was that when she was away from him she forgot him
and had affairs with other boys. Warren found this discouraging,
especially as Marjorie had been making little trips all summer,
and for the first two or three days after each arrival home he
saw great heaps of mail on the Harveys' hall table addressed to
her in various masculine handwritings. To make matters worse, all
during the month of August she had been visited by her cousin
Bernice from Eau Claire, and it seemed impossible to see her
alone. It was always necessary to hunt round and find some one to
take care of Bernice. As August waned this was becoming more and
more difficult.</p>
<p>Much as Warren worshipped Marjorie he had to admit that Cousin
Bernice was sorta dopeless. She was pretty, with dark hair and
high color, but she was no fun on a party. Every Saturday night
he danced a long arduous duty dance with her to please Marjorie,
but he had never been anything but bored in her company.</p>
<p>"Warren"——a soft voice at his elbow broke in upon his thoughts,
and he turned to see Marjorie, flushed and radiant as usual. She
laid a hand on his shoulder and a glow settled almost
imperceptibly over him.</p>
<p>"Warren," she whispered "do something for me—dance with Bernice.
She's been stuck with little Otis Ormonde for almost an
hour."</p>
<p>Warren's glow faded.</p>
<p>"Why—sure," he answered half-heartedly.</p>
<p>"You don't mind, do you? I'll see that you don't get stuck."</p>
<p>"'Sall right."</p>
<p>Marjorie smiled—that smile that was thanks enough.</p>
<p>"You're an angel, and I'm obliged loads."</p>
<p>With a sigh the angel glanced round the veranda, but Bernice and
Otis were not in sight. He wandered back inside, and there in
front of the women's dressing-room he found Otis in the centre of
a group of young men who were convulsed with laughter. Otis was
brandishing a piece of timber he had picked up, and discoursing
volubly.</p>
<p>"She's gone in to fix her hair," he announced wildly. "I'm
waiting to dance another hour with her."</p>
<p>Their laughter was renewed.</p>
<p>"Why don't some of you cut in?" cried Otis resentfully. "She
likes more variety."</p>
<p>"Why, Otis," suggested a friend "you've just barely got used to
her."</p>
<p>"Why the two-by-four, Otis?" inquired Warren, smiling.</p>
<p>"The two-by-four? Oh, this? This is a club. When she comes out
I'll hit her on the head and knock her in again."</p>
<p>Warren collapsed on a settee and howled with glee.</p>
<p>"Never mind, Otis," he articulated finally. "I'm relieving you
this time."</p>
<p>Otis simulated a sudden fainting attack and handed the stick to
Warren.</p>
<p>"If you need it, old man," he said hoarsely.</p>
<p>No matter how beautiful or brilliant a girl may be, the
reputation of not being frequently cut in on makes her position
at a dance unfortunate. Perhaps boys prefer her company to that
of the butterflies with whom they dance a dozen times an but,
youth in this jazz-nourished generation is temperamentally
restless, and the idea of fox-trotting more than one full fox
trot with the same girl is distasteful, not to say odious. When
it comes to several dances and the intermissions between she can
be quite sure that a young man, once relieved, will never tread
on her wayward toes again.</p>
<p>Warren danced the next full dance with Bernice, and finally,
thankful for the intermission, he led her to a table on the
veranda. There was a moment's silence while she did unimpressive
things with her fan.</p>
<p>"It's hotter here than in Eau Claire," she said.</p>
<p>Warren stifled a sigh and nodded. It might be for all he knew or
cared. He wondered idly whether she was a poor conversationalist
because she got no attention or got no attention because she was
a poor conversationalist.</p>
<p>"You going to be here much longer?" he asked and then turned
rather red. She might suspect his reasons for asking.</p>
<p>"Another week," she answered, and stared at him as if to lunge at
his next remark when it left his lips.</p>
<p>Warren fidgeted. Then with a sudden charitable impulse he decided
to try part of his line on her. He turned and looked at her
eyes.</p>
<p>"You've got an awfully kissable mouth," he began quietly.</p>
<p>This was a remark that he sometimes made to girls at college
proms when they were talking in just such half dark as this.
Bernice distinctly jumped. She turned an ungraceful red and
became clumsy with her fan. No one had ever made such a remark to
her before.</p>
<p>"Fresh!"——the word had slipped out before she realized it, and
she bit her lip. Too late she decided to be amused, and offered
him a flustered smile.</p>
<p>Warren was annoyed. Though not accustomed to have that remark
taken seriously, still it usually provoked a laugh or a paragraph
of sentimental banter. And he hated to be called fresh, except
in a joking way. His charitable impulse died and he switched the
topic.</p>
<p>"Jim Strain and Ethel Demorest sitting out as usual," he
commented.</p>
<p>This was more in Bernice's line, but a faint regret mingled with
her relief as the subject changed. Men did not talk to her about
kissable mouths, but she knew that they talked in some such way
to other girls.</p>
<p>"Oh, yes," she said, and laughed. "I hear they've been mooning
around for years without a red penny. Isn't it silly?"</p>
<p>Warren's disgust increased. Jim Strain was a close friend of his
brother's, and anyway he considered it bad form to sneer at
people for not having money. But Bernice had had no intention of
sneering. She was merely nervous.</p>
<h4>II</h4>
<p>When Marjorie and Bernice reached home at half after midnight
they said good night at the top of the stairs. Though cousins,
they were not intimates. As a matter of fact Marjorie had no
female intimates—she considered girls stupid. Bernice on the
contrary all through this parent-arranged visit had rather longed
to exchange those confidences flavored with giggles and tears
that she considered an indispensable factor in all feminine
intercourse. But in this respect she found Marjorie rather cold;
felt somehow the same difficulty in talking to her that she had
in talking to men. Marjorie never giggled, was never frightened,
seldom embarrassed, and in fact had very few of the qualities
which Bernice considered appropriately and blessedly feminine.</p>
<p>As Bernice busied herself with tooth-brush and paste this night
she wondered for the hundredth time why she never had any
attention when she was away from home. That her family were the
wealthiest in Eau Claire; that her mother entertained
tremendously, gave little diners for her daughter before all
dances and bought her a car of her own to drive round in, never
occurred to her as factors in her home-town social success. Like
most girls she had been brought up on the warm milk prepared by
Annie Fellows Johnston and on novels in which the female was
beloved because of certain mysterious womanly qualities, always
mentioned but never displayed.</p>
<p>Bernice felt a vague pain that she was not at present engaged in
being popular. She did not know that had it not been for
Marjorie's campaigning she would have danced the entire evening
with one man; but she knew that even in Eau Claire other girls
with less position and less pulchritude were given a much bigger
rush. She attributed this to something subtly unscrupulous in
those girls. It had never worried her, and if it had her mother
would have assured her that the other girls cheapened themselves
and that men really respected girls like Bernice.</p>
<p>She turned out the light in her bathroom, and on an impulse
decided to go in and chat for a moment with her aunt Josephine,
whose light was still on. Her soft slippers bore her noiselessly
down the carpeted hall, but hearing voices inside she stopped
near the partly openers door. Then she caught her own name, and
without any definite intention of eavesdropping lingered—and the
thread of the conversation going on inside pierced her
consciousness sharply as if it had been drawn through with a
needle.</p>
<p>"She's absolutely hopeless!" It was Marjorie's voice. "Oh, I know
what you're going to say! So many people have told you how
pretty and sweet she is, and how she can cook! What of it? She
has a bum time. Men don't like her."</p>
<p>"What's a little cheap popularity?"</p>
<p>Mrs. Harvey sounded annoyed.</p>
<p>"It's everything when you're eighteen," said Marjorie
emphatically. "I've done my best. I've been polite and I've made
men dance with her, but they just won't stand being bored. When I
think of that gorgeous coloring wasted on such a ninny, and
think what Martha Carey could do with it—oh!"</p>
<p>"There's no courtesy these days."</p>
<p>Mrs. Harvey's voice implied that modern situations were too much
for her. When she was a girl all young ladies who belonged to
nice families had glorious times.</p>
<p>"Well," said Marjorie, "no girl can permanently bolster up a
lame-duck visitor, because these days it's every girl for
herself. I've even tried to drop hints about clothes and things,
and she's been furious—given me the funniest looks. She's
sensitive enough to know she's not getting away with much, but
I'll bet she consoles herself by thinking that she's very
virtuous and that I'm too gay and fickle and will come to a bad
end. All unpopular girls think that way. Sour grapes! Sarah
Hopkins refers to Genevieve and Roberta and me as gardenia girls!
I'll bet she'd give ten years of her life and her European
education to be a gardenia girl and have three or four men in
love with her and be cut in on every few feet at dances."</p>
<p>"It seems to me," interrupted Mrs. Harvey rather wearily, "that
you ought to be able to do something for Bernice. I know she's
not very vivacious."</p>
<p>Marjorie groaned.</p>
<p>"Vivacious! Good grief! I've never heard her say anything to a
boy except that it's hot or the floor's crowded or that she's
going to school in New York next year. Sometimes she asks them
what kind of car they have and tells them the kind she has.
Thrilling!"</p>
<p>There was a short silence and then Mrs. Harvey took up her
refrain:</p>
<p>"All I know is that other girls not half so sweet and attractive
get partners. Martha Carey, for instance, is stout and loud, and
her mother is distinctly common. Roberta Dillon is so thin this
year that she looks as though Arizona were the place for her.
She's dancing herself to death."</p>
<p>"But, mother," objected Marjorie impatiently, "Martha is cheerful
and awfully witty and an awfully slick girl, and Roberta's a
marvellous dancer. She's been popular for ages!"</p>
<p>Mrs. Harvey yawned.</p>
<p>"I think it's that crazy Indian blood in Bernice," continued
Marjorie. "Maybe she's a reversion to type. Indian women all
just sat round and never said anything."</p>
<p>"Go to bed, you silly child," laughed Mrs. Harvey. "I wouldn't
have told you that if I'd thought you were going to remember it.
And I think most of your ideas are perfectly idiotic," she
finished sleepily.</p>
<p>There was another silence, while Marjorie considered whether or
not convincing her mother was worth the trouble. People over
forty can seldom be permanently convinced of anything. At
eighteen our convictions are hills from which we look; at
forty-five they are caves in which we hide.</p>
<p>Having decided this, Marjorie said good night. When she came out
into the hall it was quite empty.</p>
<h4>III</h4>
<p>While Marjorie was breakfasting late next day Bernice came into
the room with a rather formal good morning, sat down opposite,
stared intently over and slightly moistened her lips.</p>
<p>"What's on your mind?" inquired Marjorie, rather puzzled.</p>
<p>Bernice paused before she threw her hand-grenade.</p>
<p>"I heard what you said about me to your mother last night."</p>
<p>Marjorie was startled, but she showed only a faintly heightened
color and her voice was quite even when she spoke.</p>
<p>"Where were you?"</p>
<p>"In the hall. I didn't mean to listen—at first."</p>
<p>After an involuntary look of contempt Marjorie dropped her eyes
and became very interested in balancing a stray corn-flake on her
finger.</p>
<p>"I guess I'd better go back to Eau Claire—if I'm such a
nuisance." Bernice's lower lip was trembling violently and she
continued on a wavering note: "I've tried to be nice, and—and
I've been first neglected and then insulted. No one ever visited
me and got such treatment."</p>
<p>Marjorie was silent.</p>
<p>"But I'm in the way, I see. I'm a drag on you. Your friends don't
like me." She paused, and then remembered another one of her
grievances. "Of course I was furious last week when you tried to
hint to me that that dress was unbecoming. Don't you think I know
how to dress myself?"</p>
<p>"No," murmured less than half-aloud.</p>
<p>"What?"</p>
<p>"I didn't hint anything," said Marjorie succinctly. "I said, as I
remember, that it was better to wear a becoming dress three
times straight than to alternate it with two frights."</p>
<p>"Do you think that was a very nice thing to say?"</p>
<p>"I wasn't trying to be nice." Then after a pause: "When do you
want to go?"</p>
<p>Bernice drew in her breath sharply.</p>
<p>"Oh!" It was a little half-cry.</p>
<p>Marjorie looked up in surprise.</p>
<p>"Didn't you say you were going?"</p>
<p>"Yes, but——"</p>
<p>"Oh, you were only bluffing!"</p>
<p>They stared at each other across the breakfast-table for a
moment. Misty waves were passing before Bernice's eyes, while
Marjorie's face wore that rather hard expression that she used
when slightly intoxicated undergraduate's were making love to
her.</p>
<p>"So you were bluffing," she repeated as if it were what she might
have expected.</p>
<p>Bernice admitted it by bursting into tears. Marjorie's eyes
showed boredom.</p>
<p>"You're my cousin," sobbed Bernice. "I'm v-v-visiting you. I was
to stay a month, and if I go home my mother will know and she'll
wah-wonder——"</p>
<p>Marjorie waited until the shower of broken words collapsed into
little sniffles.</p>
<p>"I'll give you my month's allowance," she said coldly, "and you
can spend this last week anywhere you want. There's a very nice
hotel——"</p>
<p>Bernice's sobs rose to a flute note, and rising of a sudden she
fled from the room.</p>
<p>An hour later, while Marjorie was in the library absorbed in
composing one of those non-committal marvelously elusive letters
that only a young girl can write, Bernice reappeared, very
red-eyed, and consciously calm. She cast no glance at Marjorie
but took a book at random from the shelf and sat down as if to
read. Marjorie seemed absorbed in her letter and continued
writing. When the clock showed noon Bernice closed her book with
a snap.</p>
<p>"I suppose I'd better get my railroad ticket."</p>
<p>This was not the beginning of the speech she had rehearsed
up-stairs, but as Marjorie was not getting her cues—wasn't
urging her to be reasonable; it's an a mistake—it was the best
opening she could muster.</p>
<p>"Just wait till I finish this letter," said Marjorie without
looking round. "I want to get it off in the next mail."</p>
<p>After another minute, during which her pen scratched busily, she
turned round and relaxed with an air of "at your service." Again
Bernice had to speak.</p>
<p>"Do you want me to go home?"</p>
<p>"Well," said Marjorie, considering, "I suppose if you're not
having a good time you'd better go. No use being miserable."</p>
<p>"Don't you think common kindness——"</p>
<p>"Oh, please don't quote 'Little Women'!" cried Marjorie
impatiently. "That's out of style."</p>
<p>"You think so?"</p>
<p>"Heavens, yes! What modern girl could live like those inane
females?"</p>
<p>"They were the models for our mothers."</p>
<p>Marjorie laughed.</p>
<p>"Yes, they were—not! Besides, our mothers were all very well in
their way, but they know very little about their daughters'
problems."</p>
<p>Bernice drew herself up.</p>
<p>"Please don't talk about my mother."</p>
<p>Marjorie laughed.</p>
<p>"I don't think I mentioned her."</p>
<p>Bernice felt that she was being led away from her subject.</p>
<p>"Do you think you've treated me very well?"</p>
<p>"I've done my best. You're rather hard material to work with."</p>
<p>The lids of Bernice's eyes reddened.</p>
<p>"I think you're hard and selfish, and you haven't a feminine
quality in you."</p>
<p>"Oh, my Lord!" cried Marjorie in desperation "You little nut!
Girls like you are responsible for all the tiresome colorless
marriages; all those ghastly inefficiencies that pass as feminine
qualities. What a blow it must be when a man with imagination
marries the beautiful bundle of clothes that he's been building
ideals round, and finds that she's just a weak, whining, cowardly
mass of affectations!"</p>
<p>Bernice's mouth had slipped half open.</p>
<p>"The womanly woman!" continued Marjorie. "Her whole early life is
occupied in whining criticisms of girls like me who really do
have a good time."</p>
<p>Bernice's jaw descended farther as Marjorie's voice rose.</p>
<p>"There's some excuse for an ugly girl whining. If I'd been
irretrievably ugly I'd never have forgiven my parents for
bringing me into the world. But you're starting life without any
handicap—" Marjorie's little fist clinched, "If you expect me to
weep with you you'll be disappointed. Go or stay, just as you
like." And picking up her letters she left the room.</p>
<p>Bernice claimed a headache and failed to appear at luncheon. They
had a matin�e date for the afternoon, but the headache
persisting, Marjorie made explanation to a not very downcast boy.
But when she returned late in the afternoon she found Bernice
with a strangely set face waiting for her in her bedroom.</p>
<p>"I've decided," began Bernice without preliminaries, "that maybe
you're right about things—possibly not. But if you'll tell me
why your friends aren't—aren't interested in me I'll see if I
can do what you want me to."</p>
<p>Marjorie was at the mirror shaking down her hair.</p>
<p>"Do you mean it?"</p>
<p>"Yes."</p>
<p>"Without reservations? Will you do exactly what I say?"</p>
<p>"Well, I——"</p>
<p>"Well nothing! Will you do exactly as I say?"</p>
<p>"If they're sensible things."</p>
<p>"They're not! You're no case for sensible things."</p>
<p>"Are you going to make—to recommend——"</p>
<p>"Yes, everything. If I tell you to take boxing-lessons you'll
have to do it. Write home and tell your mother you're going' to
stay another two weeks.</p>
<p>"If you'll tell me——"</p>
<p>"All right—I'll just give you a few examples now. First you have
no ease of manner. Why? Because you're never sure about your
personal appearance. When a girl feels that she's perfectly
groomed and dressed she can forget that part of her. That's
charm. The more parts of yourself you can afford to forget the
more charm you have."</p>
<p>"Don't I look all right?"</p>
<p>"No; for instance you never take care of your eyebrows. They're
black and lustrous, but by leaving them straggly they're a
blemish. They'd be beautiful if you'd take care of them in
one-tenth the time you take doing nothing. You're going to brush
them so that they'll grow straight."</p>
<p>Bernice raised the brows in question.</p>
<p>"Do you mean to say that men notice eyebrows?"</p>
<p>"Yes—subconsciously. And when you go home you ought to have your
teeth straightened a little. It's almost imperceptible,
still——"</p>
<p>"But I thought," interrupted Bernice in bewilderment, "that you
despised little dainty feminine things like that."</p>
<p>"I hate dainty minds," answered Marjorie. "But a girl has to be
dainty in person. If she looks like a million dollars she can
talk about Russia, ping-pong, or the League of Nations and get
away with it."</p>
<p>"What else?"</p>
<p>"Oh, I'm just beginning! There's your dancing."</p>
<p>"Don't I dance all right?"</p>
<p>"No, you don't—you lean on a man; yes, you do—ever so slightly.
I noticed it when we were dancing together yesterday. And you
dance standing up straight instead of bending over a little.
Probably some old lady on the side-line once told you that you
looked so dignified that way. But except with a very small girl
it's much harder on the man, and he's the one that counts."</p>
<p>"Go on." Bernice's brain was reeling.</p>
<p>"Well, you've got to learn to be nice to men who are sad birds.
You look as if you'd been insulted whenever you're thrown with
any except the most popular boys. Why, Bernice, I'm cut in on
every few feet—and who does most of it? Why, those very sad
birds. No girl can afford to neglect them. They're the big part
of any crowd. Young boys too shy to talk are the very best
conversational practice. Clumsy boys are the best dancing
practice. If you can follow them and yet look graceful you can
follow a baby tank across a barb-wire sky-scraper."</p>
<p>Bernice sighed profoundly, but Marjorie was not through.</p>
<p>"If you go to a dance and really amuse, say, three sad birds that
dance with you; if you talk so well to them that they forget
they're stuck with you, you've done something. They'll come back
next time, and gradually so many sad birds will dance with you
that the attractive boys will see there's no danger of being
stuck—then they'll dance with you."</p>
<p>"Yes," agreed Bernice faintly. "I think I begin to see."</p>
<p>"And finally," concluded Marjorie, "poise and charm will just
come. You'll wake up some morning knowing you've attained it and
men will know it too."</p>
<p>Bernice rose.</p>
<p>"It's been awfully kind of you—but nobody's ever talked to me
like this before, and I feel sort of startled."</p>
<p>Marjorie made no answer but gazed pensively at her own image in
the mirror.</p>
<p>"You're a peach to help me," continued Bernice.</p>
<p>Still Marjorie did not answer, and Bernice thought she had seemed
too grateful.</p>
<p>"I know you don't like sentiment," she said timidly.</p>
<p>Marjorie turned to her quickly.</p>
<p>"Oh, I wasn't thinking about that. I was considering whether we
hadn't better bob your hair."</p>
<p>Bernice collapsed backward upon the bed.</p>
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