<h3><SPAN name="CHAPTER_XIX" id="CHAPTER_XIX"></SPAN>CHAPTER XIX</h3>
<h4>UNTO US A CHILD IS BORN</h4>
<p>Ronnie laid down his bow, and put his right arm round his wife.</p>
<p>He still held the precious Infant of Prague between his knees, his left
hand on the ebony finger-board.</p>
<p>"My darling!" Helen said. "So we shall be at home for Christmas after
all. How glad I am!"</p>
<p>He looked at her dumbly, and waited.</p>
<p>He felt like the prodigal, who had planned to suggest as his only
possible desert, a place among the hired servants, but was so lifted
into realisation of sonship by the father's welcome, that perforce he
left that sentence unspoken.</p>
<p>So Ronnie looked at her dumbly, reading the utter love for him in her
eyes.</p>
<p><SPAN name="Page_272" id="Page_272"></SPAN>Back came the words of his hymn, replete with fresh meaning.</p>
<p>"O come, all ye faithful,<br/>
Joyful and triumphant!"<br/></p>
<p>They were such faithful eyes—Helen's; and now they seemed filled with
triumphant joy.</p>
<p>"Ronnie," she said, "do you remember how I wrote to you at Leipzig, that
this Christmas we would have a Christmas-tree? Did not you wonder,
darling, why I said that?"</p>
<p>"Yes," answered Ronnie. "I thought of it this evening when I saw a
Christmas-tree at the lodge. I had meant to ask you the night I reached
home, but I did not remember then."</p>
<p>"Ah, if you had," she said, "if you only had!"</p>
<p>"Well?" he questioned. "Tell me now."</p>
<p>"Ronnie, do you remember that in that letter I said I had something to
tell you, and <SPAN name="Page_273" id="Page_273"></SPAN>that I enclosed a note, written some weeks before,
telling you this thing?"</p>
<p>"Yes, dear," said Ronnie. "But you forgot to enclose the note. It was
not there. I tore the envelope right open; I hunted high and low. Then
we concluded you had after all considered it unimportant."</p>
<p>"It was all-important, Ronnie; and it <i>was</i> there."</p>
<p>"It was—<i>where</i>?" asked Ronnie.</p>
<p>"Under Aubrey's foot.... Oh, hush, darling, hush! We must not say hard
things of a man who has confessed, and who is bitterly repentant. I
can't tell you the whole story now; you shall hear every detail later;
but he saw it fall from the letter, as you opened it. He was tempted,
first, to cover it with his foot; then, to put it in his pocket; and,
after he had read it, he wrote to me implying that you had told him the
news it contained; so, when you arrived home, how could I possibly
imagine that you did not know it?"</p>
<p>"Did not know <i>what?</i>" asked Ronnie.</p>
<p><SPAN name="Page_274" id="Page_274"></SPAN>She drew a folded paper from her pocket.</p>
<p>"My darling, this will tell you best. It is the note intended to reach
you at Leipzig; it is the note which, until this afternoon, I had all
along believed you to have received."</p>
<p>She put her note into his hand.</p>
<p>"I hope you will be able to read it by this light, Ronnie. I was very
weak when I wrote it. I could only use pencil."</p>
<p>Ronnie unfolded it gravely.</p>
<p>She knelt, with bowed head, beside him. She dared not watch his face.</p>
<p>She heard his breath come short and fast. He moved his knees, and let go
his 'cello.</p>
<p>The Infant of Prague slipped unnoticed to the floor.</p>
<p>When he read of the birth of his little son, with a hard choking sob,
Ronnie turned and gathered her to him, holding her close, yet eagerly
reading the letter over her head; reading it, to its very last word.</p>
<p>Then, dropping the letter, he clasped her to him, with a strength and a
depth of tenderness such as she had never before known in<SPAN name="Page_275" id="Page_275"></SPAN> Ronnie. And
his first words were not what Helen had expected.</p>
<p>"Helen," he said, with another desperate tearless sob, "oh, to think
that you had to go through <i>that</i>—alone!"</p>
<p>"My darling boy," she answered, "don't worry about that! It is all over,
now; and it is so true—oh, <i>so</i> true, Ronnie—that the anguish is no
more remembered in the greatness of the joy."</p>
<p>"But I can't forget," said Ronnie—"I shall never forget—that my wife
bore the suffering, the danger, the weakness, and I was not there to
share it. I did not even know what she was going through."</p>
<p>"Ronnie dear—think of your little son."</p>
<p>"I can think of nothing of mine just yet," he answered, "excepting of my
wife."</p>
<p>She gave in to his mood, and waited; letting him hold her close in
perfect silence.</p>
<p>It was strangely sweet to Helen, because it was so completely
unexpected. She had been prepared for a moment of intense surprise,
followed by a rapture of pride and <SPAN name="Page_276" id="Page_276"></SPAN>delight; then a wild rush to the
nursery to see his first-born. She was quite willing, now her part was
over, that her part should be forgotten. It was as unexpected as it was
comfortingly precious, that Ronnie should be thus stricken by the
thought of her pain, and of her need of him to help her bear it.</p>
<p>At last he said: "Helen, I see it all now. It was the Upas tree indeed:
utterly, preposterously, altogether, selfish!"</p>
<p>"My darling, no!" she cried. "Oh, don't be so unjust to yourself! When I
used those terrible words, I thought you had had my letter, had come
home knowing it all, yet absorbed completely in other things. Misled by
Aubrey, I cruelly misjudged you, Ronnie. It was not selfish to go; it
was not selfish to be away. You did not know, or you would not have
gone. I was glad you should not know, glad you should be away, so that I
could bear it alone, without hindering your work; letting you find the
joy when you reached home, without having had any of <SPAN name="Page_277" id="Page_277"></SPAN>the hardness or
the worry. I wished it to be so, my darling boy—and I was glad."</p>
<p>Then Ronnie gently put his wife out of his arms, and took her sweet face
between his hands, looking long into her eyes, before he made reply. And
Helen, steadfastly returning his gaze, saw a look growing in her
husband's face, such as she had never yet seen there, and knew, even
before he began to speak, what he was going to say; and her protective
love, longing as ever to shield him from pain, cried out: "Oh, must I
let him realise that?"</p>
<p>But, at last, through the guidance of wiser Hands than hers, the matter
had passed beyond Helen's control.</p>
<p>"My wife," said Ronnie slowly, "when I called it 'the Upas tree indeed,'
I did not mean the <i>one</i> act of going off in ignorance and leaving you
alone during the whole of that time, when any man who cared at all would
wish to be at hand, to bear, and share, and guard. I do not brand that
as selfish; because you purposely withheld from me <SPAN name="Page_278" id="Page_278"></SPAN>the truth, and bid
me go. But <i>why</i> did you withhold it? Why, after the first shock, did
you feel glad to face the prospect of bearing it alone; glad I should be
away? Ah, here we find the very roots of the Upas tree! Was it not
because, during the whole of our married life, I have been cheerfully,
complacently selfish? I have calmly accepted as the rule of the home,
that I should hear of no worries which you could keep from me, tread
upon no thorns which you could clear out of my path, bear no burdens
which your loving hands could lift and carry out of sight. Your
interests, your pleasures, your friends, your pursuits, all have been
swept on one side, if they seemed in the smallest degree likely to
interfere with my work, my desires, my career. You have lived for
me—absolutely. I have lived for myself. True, we have loved each other
tenderly; we have been immensely happy. But, all the while, the shadow
of the Upas tree was there. My very love was selfish! It was sheer joy
to love you, because you are so sweetly, so altogether, <SPAN name="Page_279" id="Page_279"></SPAN>lovable. But
when did I—because of my love for you—do one single thing at any cost
to self? I was utterly, preposterously, altogether, selfish! You knew
this. You knew I hated pain, or worry, or anything which put my
comfortable life out of gear. So you gladly let me go, leaving you to
bear it all alone. You knew that, had you told me, I should have given
up my book and stayed with you; because my self-love would have been
more wounded by going than by staying. But you also knew that during all
those months you would have had to listen while I bemoaned the
circumstances, and bewailed my plot. You knew the bloom would be taken
off the coming joy, so you preferred to let me go. Oh, Helen, is not
this true?"</p>
<p>She bent her head and kissed his hand. She was weeping silently. She
could not say it was not true.</p>
<p>"It was the Upas tree indeed," said Ronnie.</p>
<p>"Darling," she whispered, "it was my fault too—"</p>
<p><SPAN name="Page_280" id="Page_280"></SPAN>"Hush," he said. "There are faults too noble to be accounted faults.
But—if you think you were at all to blame—you must atone, by truly and
faithfully helping in my fight to root up the Upas tree."</p>
<p>"Ronnie," she said, "a pair of baby hands will help us both. We must
learn to live life at its highest, for the sake of our little son."</p>
<p>Then, knowing he had endured as much heart-searching as a man could bear
and be the better for it, she said, smiling:</p>
<p>"Ronnie, his funny little hands are so absurdly like yours."</p>
<p>"Like <i>mine</i>?" repeated Ronnie, as one awaking slowly from a sad dream,
to a blissful reality. "Why are they like mine?"</p>
<p>"Because he is a tiny miniature of you, you dear, silly old boy! You do
not seem to understand that you are actually a father, Ronnie, with a
little son of your own!"</p>
<p>She looked up into his worn face, and saw the young glad joy of life
creep slowly back into it.</p>
<p><SPAN name="Page_281" id="Page_281"></SPAN>"And his mouth, darling—his little mouth is just like yours; only, as
I told you in the letter, when I kiss it—it does not kiss back,
Ronnie."</p>
<p>"What?" cried Ronnie. "What?" Then he understood; and, this time, it was
no mirage. Ronnie's desert wanderings were over.</p>
<hr style='width: 45%;' />
<p>"But don't you want to see your son?" Helen asked, presently.</p>
<p>Ronnie leapt up.</p>
<p>"See him? Why, of course I do! Oh, come on!... Helen! What does one say
to a very young baby?"</p>
<p>Helen followed him upstairs, laughing.</p>
<p>"That entirely depends upon circumstances. One usually says: 'Did it?'
'Is it then?' or 'Was it?' But I almost think present conditions require
a more definite statement of fact. I fancy one would say: 'How do you
do, baby? <i>I</i> am your papa!' ... This way, Ronnie, in my own old
<SPAN name="Page_282" id="Page_282"></SPAN>nurseries. Oh, darling, I am afraid I am going to cry! But you must not
mind. They will only be tears of unutterable joy. Think what it will be
to me, to see my baby in his father's arms!"</p>
<hr style="width: 65%;" /><p><SPAN name="Page_283" id="Page_283"></SPAN></p>
<h3><SPAN name="CHAPTER_XX" id="CHAPTER_XX"></SPAN>CHAPTER XX</h3>
<h4>GOOD-NIGHT TO THE INFANT OF PRAGUE</h4>
<p>The last hour of Christmas Eve ticked slowly to its close.</p>
<p>On all around grew that sense of the herald angels, bending over a
waiting world, poised upon outstretched wings. The hush had fallen which
carries the mind away to the purple hills of Bethlehem, the watching
shepherds, the quiet folds, the sudden glory in the sky.</p>
<p>The old Grange was closing its eyes at last, and settling itself to
slumber.</p>
<p>One by one the brightly lighted windows darkened; the few remaining
lights moved upwards.</p>
<p>The Hollymead Waits had duly arrived, and played their annual Christmas
hymns. They had won gold from Ronnie, by ministering to his new-found
proud delight in his <SPAN name="Page_284" id="Page_284"></SPAN>infant son. The village blacksmith, who played the
cornet and also acted spokesman for the band, had closed the selections
of angelic music, by exclaiming hoarsely, under cover of the night: "A
merry Christmas and a 'appy New Year, to Mrs. West, to Mr. West, and to
<i>Master</i> West!"</p>
<p>Ronnie dashed out jubilant. The Waits departed well-content.</p>
<p>Helen said: "You dear old silly!"</p>
<p>"Master West," wakened by the cornet, also had something to say; but he
confided his remarks to his nurse, and was soon hushed back to slumber.</p>
<hr style='width: 45%;' />
<p>In the studio, the fire burned low.</p>
<p>The reflections in the long mirror, were indefinite and dim.</p>
<p>The Infant of Prague lay forgotten on the floor.</p>
<hr style='width: 45%;' />
<p>As midnight drew very near, the door of the studio was pushed softly
open, and Helen <SPAN name="Page_285" id="Page_285"></SPAN>came in, wearing a soft white wrapper; a lighted candle
in her hand.</p>
<p>She placed the candle on a table; then, stooping, carefully lifted
Ronnie's 'cello from the floor, laid it in its rosewood case, and stood
looking down upon it. Then, smiling, touched its silver strings, with
loving fingers.</p>
<p>"Poor Infant of Prague!" she said. "Has Ronnie forgotten even to put you
to bed? Never mind! To-morrow you and he shall sing Christmas hymns
together, while I and his little son listen and admire."</p>
<p>She closed the case. Then some impulse made her open it again. Her sweet
eyes filled with tears. No one was there to see. Ronnie's wife knelt
down and gently kissed the unconscious, shining face of the Infant of
Prague.</p>
<hr style='width: 45%;' />
<p>Turning from the settee beneath the window, she saw herself reflected in
the mirror—a tall fair figure in trailing garments, soft and white.</p>
<p><SPAN name="Page_286" id="Page_286"></SPAN>She held the candle high above her head, looked at her own reflection,
and smiled.</p>
<p>She was glad she was so lovely—for Ronnie's sake.</p>
<p>Ronnie's love to-night was very wonderful.</p>
<p>She moved towards the door, but paused in passing, to look into the
smouldering embers of the fire.</p>
<p>At that moment the clocks struck midnight. She heard the Westminster
chimes, up on the landing.</p>
<p>It was Christmas Day.</p>
<p>"Unto us a Child is born; unto us a Son is given," murmured Helen. "Oh,
holy Christ of Christmas, may the new life to come be very perfect for
my Ronnie, my baby, and me."</p>
<hr style='width: 45%;' />
<p>"Helen!" came Ronnie's eager happy voice, shouting over the stairs. "I
say, <i>Helen</i>! Where are you?"</p>
<p>"Coming, darling!" she called, passing out of the studio, and moving
swiftly down the corridor.</p>
<p><SPAN name="Page_287" id="Page_287"></SPAN>Ronnie, on the landing, was leaning over the banisters, an expression
of comic dismay on his face.</p>
<p>"Oh, I say!" he whispered. "I've done it now! I believe I've woke the
baby!"</p>
<p>Helen, mounting the stairs, paused to look up at him, love and laughter
in her eyes.</p>
<p>"Undoubtedly you have, you naughty boy! No shouting allowed here now,
after dark. But what do you think I was doing? Why, I was in the studio,
putting to bed the Infant of Prague."<br/><br/><br/></p>
<h3>THE END.</h3>
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