<p><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_263" id="Page_263"></SPAN></span></p>
<div class="figcenter"> <ANTIMG src="images/deco-263.png" width-obs="400" height-obs="70" alt="" title="" /></div>
<hr style="width: 65%;" />
<h2>CHAPTER VI</h2>
<h1>Types That Should <br/>and Should Not Marry <br/>Each Other</h1>
<div class="figleft"> <ANTIMG src="images/dropcap-263.png" width-obs="75" height-obs="100" alt="" title="" /></div>
<p> am so sorry to hear the Browns are being
divorced. I have known George and Mary for years and they are as fine a
man and woman as I ever saw. But they just don't seem able to get along
together."</p>
<p>How many times you have heard something like this. And the speaker got
nearer the truth than he knew. For the Georges and Marys everywhere are,
on the whole, fine men and women.<br/><br/></p>
<h4>Married to the Wrong One</h4>
<p>� Each one is all right in himself, but merely married to the wrong
person—a fact we have recognized when both George and Mary made
successes of their second ventures and lived happily ever after.<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_264" id="Page_264"></SPAN></span></p>
<p>Human happiness, as we have noted in the introduction to this volume, is
attained only through <i>doing what the organism was built to do, in an
environment that is favorable</i>. Marriage is only the attempt of two
people to attain these two ends individually, mutually and
simultaneously.<br/><br/></p>
<h4>Difficulties of Double Harness</h4>
<p>� Now, since it is almost impossible for one to achieve happiness when
untrammeled and free, is it to be wondered at that so few achieve it in
double harness? For the difficulties to be surmounted are doubled and
the helps are halved by the presence of a running mate.<br/><br/></p>
<h4>Mere Marriedness is not Mating</h4>
<p>� That "two can live on less than one" is not true—but it is nearer the
truth than that two can find ultimate happiness together easier than
either can find an approximation of happiness alone.</p>
<p>This is not saying that any one who is unmated can have happiness as
complete as that which comes to the rightly mated—for nothing else in
life can compare with that—but they must be RIGHTLY MATED, not merely
<i>married</i>.</p>
<p>No one who has observed or thought on this sub<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_265" id="Page_265"></SPAN></span>ject will deny that it is
a thousand times better not to be married at all than to be married to
the wrong person.<br/><br/></p>
<h4>Secrets Told by Statistics</h4>
<p>� Surveys of the causes for divorce during the past ten years in the
United States have revealed some startling facts—facts which only prove
again that Human Analysis shows us the truth about ourselves as no
science has ever shown it to us before.</p>
<p>One of the most illuminating facts these surveys have revealed is that
<i>only those men and women can be happy together whose natures
automatically encourage each other in the doing of the things each likes
to do, in the way each likes to do them</i>.</p>
<p>Inborn inclination determines the things every human being prefers to
do, concerning all the fundamental activities of his life, and also the
manner in which he prefers to do them. These inborn inclinations, as we
have previously pointed out, are written all over us in the unmistakable
language of type.</p>
<p>When we know a man's type we know what<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_266" id="Page_266"></SPAN></span> things he prefers to <i>do</i> in
life's main experiences and <i>how</i> he prefers to do them. And we know
that unless he is permitted to do approximately what he <i>wants</i> to do in
approximately the <i>way</i> he prefers, he becomes unhappy and unsuccessful.<br/><br/></p>
<h4>Infatuation No Guide</h4>
<p>� These biological bents are so deeply embedded in every individual that
no amount of affection, admiration, or respect, or passion for any other
individual suffices to enable any one to go through long years doing
what he dislikes and still be happy. Only in the first flush of
infatuation can he sacrifice his own preferences for those of another.</p>
<p>After a while passion and infatuation ooze away. Nature sees to that,
just as she sees to their coming in the first place. Then there return
the old leanings, preferences, tendencies and cravings inherent in the
type of each.<br/><br/></p>
<h4>The Real "Reversion to Type"</h4>
<p>� Under this urge of his type each reverts gradually but irresistibly to
his old habits, doing largely what he prefers to do in the ways that are
to his liking. When that day comes the real test of their marriage
begins. If the distance between them is<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_267" id="Page_267"></SPAN></span> too great they can not cross
that chasm, and thereafter each lives a life inwardly removed from the
other.</p>
<p>They make attempts to cross the barrier and some of these are successful
for a short while. They talk to and fro across the void sometimes; but
their communings become less frequent, their voices less distinct, until
at last each withdraws into himself. There he lives, in the world of his
own nature—as completely separated from his mate as though they dwelt
on different planets.<br/><br/></p>
<h4>We Can Know</h4>
<p>� "But how is one to know the right person?" you ask. By recognizing
science's recent discovery to the effect that certain types can travel
helpfully, happily and harmoniously together and that certain others
never can.<br/><br/></p>
<h4>What Every Individual Owes to Himself</h4>
<p>� Every individual owes it to himself to find the right work and the
right mate, because these are fundamental needs of every human being.</p>
<p>Lacking them, life is a failure; possessing but one of them, life is
half a failure.</p>
<p>To obtain and apply the very fullest knowledge<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_268" id="Page_268"></SPAN></span> toward the attainment of
these two great requisites should be the aim of every person.<br/><br/></p>
<h4>Neglected Subjects</h4>
<p>� Despite the fact that these are the most vital problems pertaining to
human happiness and that every individual's life depends for its glory
or defeat, joy or sorrow upon the right settlement of them—they are two
of the most neglected.<br/><br/></p>
<h4>Divorce Courts</h4>
<p>� Our divorce courts are full of splendid men and women who are there
not because they are weak or wrong, but because they stepped into
nature's age-old Instinct trap without realizing where it would lead
them.</p>
<p>These men and women who pay so heavy a price for their ignorance and
blindness are <i>not</i> to blame. Most of them have been taught that to be
legally bound together was sufficient guarantee of marital bliss.</p>
<p>But experience has shown us that there are certain kinds of people each
individual can associate with in harmony and that there are those with
whom he could never be happy though a hundred ministers pronounced them
mated for life.<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_269" id="Page_269"></SPAN></span><br/><br/></p>
<h4>Times Will Change</h4>
<p>� But the time is coming when we will select our mates scientifically,
not merely sentimentally. It is also coming when we will know what every
child is fitted to do by looking at him, just as we know better today
than to set a shepherd dog on the trail of criminals or a bloodhound to
herd sheep.<br/><br/></p>
<h4>The Great Quest</h4>
<p>� Instead of beclouding the significance and the sanity of life's great
quest; instead of encouraging every manner of mismating as we do today,
we will some day arm our children with knowledge enabling them to wisely
choose their life work and their life mate.<br/><br/></p>
<h4>Dolly's Dimple</h4>
<p>� The fact that Dolly has a dimple may make your senses whirl but it is
not sufficient basis for marriage. There are things of vastly greater
importance, though of course this does not seem possible to you at the
time.<br/><br/></p>
<h4>Sammy's Smile</h4>
<p>� And though Sammy sports a smile the gods might envy, he may not be the
right man for Dolly. Even a smile that never comes off, great<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_270" id="Page_270"></SPAN></span>
lubricator that it undeniably is, is not sufficient foundation for a
"till-death-do-us-part" contract.<br/><br/></p>
<h4>Little Things vs. Big Things</h4>
<p>� When we hear of a divorce we assume that it was caused by the
inability of those two people to agree upon fundamentals. We suppose
that they found within themselves wide divergences of opinion, feeling
or attitude regarding really worth while questions—social, religious,
political or economic. We are inclined to imagine that "the little
things" should take care of themselves and that only the "big things"
such as these should be allowed to separate two lives, once they have
been joined together.<br/><br/></p>
<h4>What the Records Show</h4>
<p>� Yet the exact opposite is what happens, according to the divorce
records of the United States.</p>
<p>These records show that divorces do not arise out of differences in what
we have always called the big things of life, but out of those things
which we have always called the little ones.<br/><br/></p>
<h4>Why He Can't Change</h4>
<p>� We do not expect a husband or wife to change<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_271" id="Page_271"></SPAN></span> his religion and take on
his partner's faith. We imagine this is an inherent thing more or less
deeply imbedded in him and not to be altered, while we consider it only
fair and right for John to give up his favorite sport, his hobby and
some of his habits for Mary's sake.</p>
<p>At the risk of shocking the supersensitive, it must be admitted that
most individuals get their religious leanings from external
sources—parents, teachers, ministers, friends and especially by the
accident of being born in a certain country, among a certain sect or
within a certain community.</p>
<p>On the other hand, one's preferences in the matter of diversions are
born in him, part and parcel of his very being and remain so to the end
of his life. Accordingly, just as it is easier to change the frosting on
a cake than to change the inside, it is easier to change a man's
religion than to change his activities.<br/><br/></p>
<h4>Diversion and Divorce</h4>
<p>� Most of the divorces granted in America during the past ten years have
been demanded, not on grounds dealing with the so-called fundamentals,
but for differences regarding so-called unimportant<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_272" id="Page_272"></SPAN></span> things. And more
than seventy out of every hundred divorces every year in this country
are asked for on grounds pertaining to <i>diversion</i>.</p>
<p>In other words, more than seventy per cent of American divorces are
granted because husbands and wives can not adapt themselves to each
other in the matter of how they shall spend their LEISURE hours.</p>
<p>"People who can not play together will not work together long," said
Elbert Hubbard. Human Analysis, which shows that each type tends
automatically to the doing of certain things in certain ways whenever
free to act, proves that this is just as literal as it sounds.</p>
<p>The only time we are free to act is during our leisure hours. All other
hours are mortgaged to earning a living—in the accomplishment of which
we often have very little outlet for natural trends. So it is only
"after hours" and "over Sundays" that the masses of mankind have an
opportunity to express their real natures.<br/><br/></p>
<h4>Uncongenial Work Affects Marriage</h4>
<p>� The less one's work permits him to do the things he enjoys the more
surely will he turn to<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_273" id="Page_273"></SPAN></span> them in the hours when this restraint is
removed. If such a one has a husband or wife who encourages him in the
following of his natural bents during leisure hours, that marriage
stands a big chance of being happy.</p>
<p>These two people may differ widely in their respective religious
ideas—one may be a Catholic, the other a Protestant, or one a Shaker
and the other a Christian Scientist—but they can build lasting
happiness together.</p>
<p>On the other hand, two people who agree perfectly as to religious,
social and political views but who can not agree as to the disposition
of their leisure hours are bound for the rocks.</p>
<p>As the honeymoon fades, each reverts to the kind of recreation congenial
to his type. If his mate is averse to his diversions each goes his own
way.<br/><br/></p>
<h4>The Eternal Triangle</h4>
<p>� The tragedy of "the other man" and "the other woman" is not a mystery
to him who understands Human Analysis. It is always the result of
finding some one of kindred standards and tastes—that is, some one
whose type is congenial. The Eternal Triangle arises again and again in<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_274" id="Page_274"></SPAN></span>
human lives, not accidentally, but as the inevitable result of violating
inexorable laws.<br/><br/></p>
<h4>Law of Marital Happiness</h4>
<p>� MARRIAGE SHOULD TAKE PLACE ONLY BETWEEN THOSE WHOSE FIRST
TYPE-ELEMENTS ARE SUFFICIENTLY SIMILAR FOR THEM TO ENJOY THE SAME
GENERAL DIVERSIONS, YET WHOSE SECOND TYPE-ELEMENTS ARE SUFFICIENTLY
DISSIMILAR TO MAKE EACH STRONG WHERE THE OTHER IS WEAK.</p>
<p>� The application of the law to each of the five types will be explained
in the following sections of this chapter.<br/><br/></p>
<hr style="width: 10%;" />
<h2>Part One</h2>
<h3>THE ALIMENTIVE IN LOVE</h3>
<p>� Just as each type reacts differently to all the other situations in
life, each reacts differently to love.</p>
<p>The Alimentive, as we have pointed out, is less mature than the other
types, with the Thoracic next, and so on down to the Cerebral which is
the most mature of all. Because the Alimentive has<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_275" id="Page_275"></SPAN></span> rightly been called
"the baby of the race;" because no extremely fat person ever really
grows up, this type prefers those love-expressions natural to the
immature.<br/><br/></p>
<h4>The Most Affectionate Type</h4>
<p>� Caressing, petting, fondling and cuddling—those demonstrations not of
wild passion but of affection such as children enjoy—are most often
used by Alimentive men and women when in love.</p>
<p>� Because they are inclined to bestow little attentions more or less
promiscuously, they often get the reputation of being flirtatious when
they are not. Such actions also are often taken by the one to whom they
are directed as indicating more than the giver means.</p>
<p>So beware of taking the little pats of fat people too seriously. They
mean well, but have the baby's habit of bestowing innocent smiles and
caresses everywhere.<br/><br/></p>
<h4>Why They are Loved</h4>
<p>� Each type has traits peculiar to itself which tend to make others fall
in love with it. In the Alimentive the outstanding trait which wins love
is his sweet disposition.<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_276" id="Page_276"></SPAN></span></p>
<p>The human ego is so constituted that we tend to like all interesting
people who do not offer us opposition. The Alimentive is amenable,
affable, agreeable. His ready smile, his tendency to promote harmony and
his general geniality bring him love and keep it for him while more
clever types lose it.<br/><br/></p>
<h4>Millionaires Marry Them</h4>
<p>� "Why does a brilliant business man marry that little fat woman who is
not his equal mentally?" the world has asked many a time. Human Analysis
answers it, as it answers so many of the other age-long queries about
human eccentricities.</p>
<p>� The little fat woman has a sweet disposition—one of the most soothing
of human attributes. The business man has enough of "brilliant" people
all day. When he gets home he is rather inclined to be merely the "tired
business man," and in that state nothing is more agreeable than a wife
with a smile.</p>
<p>� As for fat husbands, many a wife supports them in preference to being
supported by another and less agreeable man.<br/><br/></p>
<h4>The Prettiest Type</h4>
<p>� When a woman becomes engaged her friends<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_277" id="Page_277"></SPAN></span> all inquire, "What does he
do?" but when a man's engagement is announced every one asks, "What does
she look like?" So it is small wonder that men have placed prettiness
near the top of the list, and the Alimentive woman is the prettiest of
all types. This little fact must not be overlooked when searching for
the causes which have prompted so many of the world's wealthiest men to
marry them. Other men may have to content themselves with plain wives,
but the man of means can pick and choose—and every man prefers a pretty
wife to a plain one.</p>
<p>Feminine prettiness (not beauty) consists of the rose-bud mouth, the
baby eyes, the cute little nose, the round cheeks, the dimpled chin,
etc.—all more or less monopolized by the Alimentive type.<br/><br/></p>
<h4>The "Womanly" Type</h4>
<p>� The fat woman's refusal to worry keeps the wrinkles away and as long
as she does not become obese she remains attractive. Her "clinging-vine"
ways make men call her the most "womanly" type, and even when she tips
the scales at two hundred and fifty they are still for her. Then they
say "she looks so motherly."<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_278" id="Page_278"></SPAN></span></p>
<p>So the fat woman goes through life more loved by men than any other
type, and in old age she presents a picture of calmness and domestic
serenity that is appealing to everybody.<br/><br/></p>
<h4>Marry Earliest and Oftenest</h4>
<p>� Being in demand, the Alimentive woman marries earlier than any other
type. As a widow the same demand takes her off the marriage market while
younger and brainier women pine their lives away in spinsterhood.</p>
<p>Look back and you will recall that it was the pretty, plump girls who
had beaux earliest, married earliest, and who, even when left with
several children, did not remain widows long.<br/><br/></p>
<h4>Desirable Traits of Alimentive Wives</h4>
<p>� Next to her sweet disposition, the traits which make the Alimentive
wife most pleasant to get along with are serenity, optimism and good
cooking.<br/><br/></p>
<h4>Her Weaknesses</h4>
<p>� Many an Alimentive wife loses her husband's love because of her too
easy-going habits. Unless controlled, these lead to slovenliness in
personal appearance and housekeeping.<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_279" id="Page_279"></SPAN></span><br/><br/></p>
<h4>The Alimentive Wife and Money</h4>
<p>� The Alimentive wife usually has her share of the family income because
she has the endearing ways that wring it out of hubby.</p>
<p>Sales people everywhere say, "We like to see a fat woman coming, for she
usually has money, spends it freely and is easy to please."<br/><br/></p>
<h4>In Disagreements</h4>
<p>� What they do with their quarrels after they are through with them
determines to a great extent the ultimate success of any pair's
marriage. Alimentive husbands and wives bury the hatchet sooner than
other types and they avoid altercations.<br/><br/></p>
<h4>Lives Anywhere</h4>
<p>� The Alimentive wife offers less resistance to her husband's plans than
any other. So when he announces they are moving to some other
neighborhood, city or state she acquiesces with better grace than other
types.<br/><br/></p>
<h4>Family Friends</h4>
<p>� The responsibility of adding new friends to the family rests equally
upon each partner in marriage. The average husband, by reason of
mingling more<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_280" id="Page_280"></SPAN></span> with the world, has the greater opportunity, but every
wife can and should consider that she owes it to herself, her husband
and her children to contribute her quota.</p>
<p>Alimentive husbands and wives add their share of new acquaintances to
any marriage in which they are partners. The Alimentive wife always
enjoys having people in to dinner and the Alimentive husband enjoys
bringing them. The warmth of hospitality in Alimentive homes brings them
more friendships than come to other types.<br/><br/></p>
<h4>Fat Man Also Marries Young</h4>
<p>� The fat man marries young, but for a different reason than the fat
woman. The fat man, as you will note, "gets a job" early in life. From
that time on his services seldom go begging.</p>
<p>He makes a good salary earlier than other types and is therefore sooner
in a position to marry.<br/><br/></p>
<h4>The "Ladies' Man"</h4>
<p>� Just as the fat woman is "a man's woman," so the fat man is almost
invariably "a ladies' man." The fat man usually "knows women" better
than any other type and it is certain that the fat woman "knows men."
Her record proves it.<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_281" id="Page_281"></SPAN></span><br/><br/></p>
<h4>No Fat Bachelors</h4>
<p>� Just as there are few fat "old maids," there are few fat bachelors.
You can count on the fingers of one hand all the really overweight ones
you ever knew.<br/><br/></p>
<h4>The Best "Provider"</h4>
<p>� Because he makes money easily through the various forms of his
superior business qualifications, the average fat man has plenty of
money for his family and likes to spend it upon them. He is the best
provider of all the types. Fat people are the most lenient parents and
usually over-indulge their children.</p>
<p>The husband who makes a habit for years of sending home crates of the
first strawberries, melons and oranges of the season is a fat one every
time.<br/><br/></p>
<h4>Desirable Traits of Fat Husbands</h4>
<p>� His generous provision for his family and the fact that he is
essentially a "family man" are two desirable traits of the Alimentive
husband. He depends more on his home than other types, he marries young
to have a home and he is seldom farther away from it than he has to be.<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_282" id="Page_282"></SPAN></span></p>
<p>It is unfortunate that the one type which makes the best "travelling
man" is more inconvenienced by the absence from home than any other type
would be. But he has not submitted silently. All the world knows what a
"hard life" the traveling salesman leads and how he misses "the wife,
the kids and the good home cooking."<br/><br/></p>
<h4>Weaknesses of Alimentive Husbands</h4>
<p>� The Alimentive husband has but one weakness that materially endangers
his marital happiness. He is inclined to be too easy and extravagant,
and not to save money.<br/><br/></p>
<h4>Mates for Alimentives</h4>
<p>� Because of his amenability the Alimentive can marry almost any type
and be happy. But for fullest happiness, those who are predominantly
Alimentive—that is, those in whom the Alimentive type comes
first—should marry, as a first choice, those who are predominantly
Muscular. The Muscular shares the Alimentive's ambition to "get on in
the world" and at the same time adds to the union the practicality which
offsets the too easy-going, lackadaisical tendencies of the Alimentive.<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_283" id="Page_283"></SPAN></span></p>
<p>The second choice for the predominantly Alimentive should be the one who
is predominantly Thoracic. These two types have much in common. The
brilliance and speed of the Thoracic keeps the Alimentive "looking to
his laurels," and thus tends to prevent the carelessness which is so
great a handicap to the predominantly Alimentive.</p>
<p>The third choice of the predominantly Alimentive may be one who is also
predominantly Alimentive, but in that case it should be an
Alimentive-Muscular or an Alimentive-Cerebral.</p>
<p>The last type the pure Alimentive should ever marry is the pure
Cerebral.<br/><br/></p>
<hr style="width: 10%;" />
<h2>Part Two</h2>
<div style="break-after:column;"></div><br />
1 of 2
2 of 2
Previous
Next
Update Required
To play the media you will need to either update your browser to a recent version or update your Flash plugin.