<h4><SPAN name="A_BALLADE_OF_AN_ANTI-PURITAN" id="A_BALLADE_OF_AN_ANTI-PURITAN"></SPAN>A BALLADE OF AN ANTI-PURITAN</h4>
<p>They spoke of Progress spiring round,<br/>
Of Light and Mrs. Humphry Ward—<br/>
It is not true to say I frowned,<br/>
Or ran about the room and roared;<br/>
I might have simply sat and snored—<br/>
I rose politely in the club<br/>
And said, "I feel a little bored;<br/>
Will someone take me to a pub?"<br/>
<br/>
The new world's wisest did surround<br/>
Me; and it pains me to record<br/>
I did not think their views profound,<br/>
Or their conclusions well assured;<br/>
The simple life I can't afford,<br/>
Besides, I do not like the grub—<br/>
I wait a mash and sausage, "scored"—<br/>
Will someone take me to a pub?<br/>
<br/>
I know where Men can still be found,<br/>
Anger and clamorous accord,<br/>
And virtues growing from the ground,<br/>
And fellowship of beer and board,<br/>
And song, that is a sturdy cord.<br/>
And hope, that is a hardy shrub,<br/>
And goodness, that is God's last word—<br/>
Will someone take me to a pub?<br/>
<br/>
ENVOI<br/>
<br/>
Prince, Bayard would have smashed his sword<br/>
To see the sort of knights you dub—Is<br/>
that the last of them—O Lord!<br/>
Will someone take me to a pub?<br/>
<br/><br/></p>
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