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<h2> THE STAGE-COACH. </h2>
<p>Omne bene<br/>
Sine poena<br/>
Tempua est ludendi.<br/>
Venit hora<br/>
Absque mora<br/>
Libros deponendi.<br/>
OLD HOLIDAY SCHOOL-SONG.<br/></p>
<p>IN the preceding paper I have made some general observations on the
Christmas festivities of England, and am tempted to illustrate them by
some anecdotes of a Christmas passed in the country; in perusing which I
would most courteously invite my reader to lay aside the austerity of
wisdom, and to put on that genuine holiday spirit which is tolerant of
folly and anxious only for amusement.</p>
<p>In the course of a December tour in Yorkshire, I rode for a long distance
in one of the public coaches on the day preceding Christmas. The coach was
crowded, both inside and out, with passengers who, by their talk, seemed
principally bound to the mansions of relations or friends to eat the
Christmas dinner. It was loaded also with hampers of game and baskets and
boxes of delicacies, and hares hung dangling their long ears about the
coachman's box, presents from distant friends for the impending feast. I
had three fine rosy-cheeked school boys for my fellow-passengers inside,
full of the buxom health and manly spirit which I have observed in the
children of this country. They were returning home for the holidays in
high glee, and promising themselves a world of enjoyment. It was
delightful to hear the gigantic plans of the little rogues, and the
impracticable feats they were to perform during their six weeks'
emancipation from the abhorred thraldom of book, birch, and pedagogue.
They were full of anticipations of the meeting with the family and
household, down to the very cat and dog, and of the joy they were to give
their little sisters by the presents with which their pockets were
crammed; but the meeting to which they seemed to look forward with the
greatest impatience was with Bantam, which I found to be a pony, and,
according to their talk, possessed of more virtues than any steed since
the days of Bucephalus. How he could trot! how he could run! and then such
leaps as he would take!—there was not a hedge in the whole country
that he could not clear.</p>
<p>They were under the particular guardianship of the coachman, to whom,
whenever an opportunity presented, they addressed a host of questions, and
pronounced him one of the best fellows in the world. Indeed, I could not
but notice the more than ordinary air of bustle and importance of the
coachman, who wore his hat a little on one side and had a large bunch of
Christmas greens stuck in the buttonhole of his coat. He is always a
personage full of mighty care and business, but he is particularly so
during this season, having so many commissions to execute in consequence
of the great interchange of presents. And here, perhaps, it may not be
unacceptable to my untravelled readers to have a sketch that may serve as
a general representation of this very numerous and important class of
functionaries, who have a dress, a manner, a language, an air peculiar to
themselves and prevalent throughout the fraternity; so that wherever an
English stage-coachman may be seen he cannot be mistaken for one of any
other craft or mystery.</p>
<p>He has commonly a broad, full face, curiously mottled with red, as if the
blood had been forced by hard feeding into every vessel of the skin; he is
swelled into jolly dimensions by frequent potations of malt liquors, and
his bulk is still further increased by a multiplicity of coats, in which
he is buried like a cauliflower, the upper one reaching to his heels. He
wears a broad-brimmed, low-crowned hat; a huge roll of colored
handkerchief about his neck, knowingly knotted and tucked in at the bosom;
and has in summer-time a large bouquet of flowers in his buttonhole, the
present, most probably, of some enamored country lass. His waistcoat is
commonly of some bright color, striped, and his small-clothes extend far
below the knees, to meet a pair of jockey boots which reach about halfway
up his legs.</p>
<p>All this costume is maintained with much precision; he has a pride in
having his clothes of excellent materials, and, notwithstanding the
seeming grossness of his appearance, there is still discernible that
neatness and propriety of person which is almost inherent in an
Englishman. He enjoys great consequence and consideration along the road;
has frequent conferences with the village housewives, who look upon him as
a man of great trust and dependence; and he seems to have a good
understanding with every bright-eyed country lass. The moment he arrives
where the horses are to be changed, he throws down the reins with
something of an air and abandons the cattle to the care of the ostler, his
duty being merely to drive from one stage to another. When off the box his
hands are thrust into the pockets of his great coat, and he rolls about
the inn-yard with an air of the most absolute lordliness. Here he is
generally surrounded by an admiring throng of ostlers, stableboys,
shoeblacks, and those nameless hangers-on that infest inns and taverns,
and run errands and do all kind of odd jobs for the privilege of battening
on the drippings of the kitchen and the leakage of the tap-room. These all
look up to him as to an oracle, treasure up his cant phrases, echo his
opinions about horses and other topics of jockey lore, and, above all,
endeavor to imitate his air and carriage. Every ragamuffin that has a coat
to his back thrusts his hands in the pockets, rolls in his gait, talks
slang, and is an embryo Coachey.</p>
<p>Perhaps it might be owing to the pleasing serenity that reigned in my own
mind that I fancied I saw cheerfulness in every countenance throughout the
journey. A stage-coach, however, carries animation always with it, and
puts the world in motion as it whirls along. The horn, sounded at the
entrance of the village, produces a general bustle. Some hasten forth to
meet friends; some with bundles and bandboxes to secure places, and in the
hurry of the moment can hardly take leave of the group that accompanies
them. In the meantime the coachman has a world of small commissions to
execute. Sometimes he delivers a hare or pheasant; sometimes jerks a small
parcel or newspaper to the door of a public house; and sometimes, with
knowing leer and words of sly import, hands to some half-blushing,
half-laughing house-maid an odd-shaped billet-doux from some rustic
admirer. As the coach rattles through the village every one runs to the
window, and you have glances on every side of fresh country faces and
blooming giggling girls. At the corners are assembled juntos of village
idlers and wise men, who take their stations there for the important
purpose of seeing company pass; but the sagest knot is generally at the
blacksmith's, to whom the passing of the coach is an event fruitful of
much speculation. The smith, with the horse's heel in his lap, pauses as
the vehicle whirls by; the cyclops round the anvil suspend their ringing
hammers and suffer the iron to grow cool; and the sooty spectre in brown
paper cap laboring at the bellows leans on the handle for a moment, and
permits the asthmatic engine to heave a long-drawn sigh, while he glares
through the murky smoke and sulphurous gleams of the smithy.</p>
<p>Perhaps the impending holiday might have given a more than usual animation
to the country, for it seemed to me as if everybody was in good looks and
good spirits. Game, poultry, and other luxuries of the table were in brisk
circulation in the villages; the grocers', butchers', and fruiterers'
shops were thronged with customers. The housewives were stirring briskly
about, putting their dwellings in order, and the glossy branches of holly
with their bright-red berries began to appear at the windows. The scene
brought to mind an old writer's account of Christmas preparation: "Now
capons and hens, besides turkeys, geese, and ducks, with beef and mutton,
must all die, for in twelve days a multitude of people will not be fed
with a little. Now plums and spice, sugar and honey, square it among pies
and broth. Now or never must music be in tune, for the youth must dance
and sing to get them a heat, while the aged sit by the fire. The country
maid leaves half her market, and must be sent again if she forgets a pack
of cards on Christmas Eve. Great is the contention of holly and ivy
whether master or dame wears the breeches. Dice and cards benefit the
butler; and if the cook do not lack wit, he will sweetly lick his
fingers."</p>
<p>I was roused from this fit of luxurious meditation by a shout from my
little travelling companions. They had been looking out of the
coach-windows for the last few miles, recognizing every tree and cottage
as they approached home, and now there was a general burst of joy.
"There's John! and there's old Carlo! and there's Bantam!" cried the happy
little rogues, clapping their hands.</p>
<p>At the end of a lane there was an old sober-looking servant in livery
waiting for them; he was accompanied by a superannuated pointer and by the
redoubtable Bantam, a little old rat of a pony with a shaggy mane and long
rusty tail, who stood dozing quietly by the roadside, little dreaming of
the bustling times that awaited him.</p>
<p>I was pleased to see the fondness with which the little fellows leaped
about the steady old footman and hugged the pointer, who wriggled his
whole body for joy. But Bantam was the great object of interest; all
wanted to mount at once, and it was with some difficulty that John
arranged that they should ride by turns and the eldest should ride first.</p>
<p>Off they set at last, one on the pony, with the dog bounding and barking
before him, and the others holding John's hands, both talking at once and
overpowering him with questions about home and with school anecdotes. I
looked after them with a feeling in which I do not know whether pleasure
or melancholy predominated; for I was reminded of those days when, like
them, I had known neither care nor sorrow and a holiday was the summit of
earthly felicity. We stopped a few moments afterwards to water the horses,
and on resuming our route a turn of the road brought us in sight of a neat
country-seat. I could just distinguish the forms of a lady and two young
girls in the portico, and I saw my little comrades, with Bantam, Carlo,
and old John, trooping along the carriage-road. I leaned out of the
coach-window, in hopes of witnessing the happy meeting, but a grove of
trees shut it from my sight.</p>
<p>In the evening we reached a village where I had determined to pass the
night. As we drove into the great gateway of the inn, I saw on one side
the light of a rousing kitchen-fire beaming through a window. I entered,
and admired, for the hundredth time, that picture of convenience,
neatness, and broad honest enjoyment, the kitchen of an English inn. It
was of spacious dimensions, hung round with copper and tin vessels highly
polished, and decorated here and there with a Christmas green. Hams,
tongues, and flitches of bacon were suspended from the ceiling; a
smoke-jack made its ceaseless clanking beside the fireplace, and a clock
ticked in one corner. A well-scoured deal table extended along one side of
the kitchen, with a cold round of beef and other hearty viands upon it,
over which two foaming tankards of ale seemed mounting guard. Travellers
of inferior order were preparing to attack this stout repast, while others
sat smoking and gossiping over their ale on two high-backed oaken settles
beside the fire. Trim housemaids were hurrying backwards and forwards
under the directions of a fresh bustling landlady, but still seizing an
occasional moment to exchange a flippant word and have a rallying laugh
with the group round the fire. The scene completely realized Poor Robin's
humble idea of the comforts of midwinter:</p>
<p>Now trees their leafy hats do bare<br/>
To reverence Winter's silver hair;<br/>
A handsome hostess, merry host,<br/>
A pot of ale now and a toast,<br/>
Tobacco and a good coal fire,<br/>
Are things this season doth require.*<br/></p>
<p>* Poor Robin's Almanack, 1684.<br/></p>
<p>I had not been long at the inn when a post-chaise drove up to the door. A
young gentleman stept out, and by the light of the lamps I caught a
glimpse of a countenance which I thought I knew. I moved forward to get a
nearer view, when his eye caught mine. I was not mistaken; it was Frank
Bracebridge, a sprightly, good-humored young fellow with whom I had once
travelled on the Continent. Our meeting was extremely cordial, for the
countenance of an old fellow-traveller always brings up the recollection
of a thousand pleasant scenes, odd adventures, and excellent jokes. To
discuss all these in a transient interview at an inn was impossible; and,
finding that I was not pressed for time and was merely making a tour of
observation, he insisted that I should give him a day or two at his
father's country-seat, to which he was going to pass the holidays and
which lay at a few miles' distance. "It is better than eating a solitary
Christmas dinner at an inn," said he, "and I can assure you of a hearty
welcome in something of the old-fashioned style." His reasoning was
cogent, and I must confess the preparation I had seen for universal
festivity and social enjoyment had made me feel a little impatient of my
loneliness. I closed, therefore, at once with his invitation; the chaise
drove up to the door, and in a few moments I was on my way to the family
mansion of the Bracebridges.</p>
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