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Wit and Humor of America, The Vol 02

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<h2>THE RECRUIT</h2> <h3>BY ROBERT W. CHAMBERS</h3> <div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> Sez Corporal Madden to Private McFadden: "Bedad, yer a bad 'un! Now turn out yer toes! Yer belt is unhookit, Yer cap is on crookit, Ye may not be dhrunk, But, be jabers, ye look it! Wan—two! Wan—two! Ye monkey-faced divil, I'll jolly ye through! Wan—two! Time! Mark! Ye march like the aigle in Cintheral Parrk!" </div> <div class="stanza"> Sez Corporal Madden to Private McFadden: "A saint it ud sadden To dhrill such a mug! Eyes front! ye baboon, ye! Chin up! ye gossoon, ye! Ye've jaws like a goat— Halt! ye leather-lipped loon, ye! Wan—two! Wan—two! Ye whiskered orang-outang, I'll fix you! Wan—two! Time! Mark! Ye've eyes like a bat! can ye see in the dark?" </div> <div class="stanza"> Sez Corporal Madden to Private McFadden: "Yer figger wants padd'n— Sure, man, ye've no shape! Behind ye yer shoulders Stick out like two bowlders; Yer shins is as thin As a pair of pen-holders! Wan—two! Wan—two! Yer belly belongs on yer back, ye Jew! Wan—two! Time! Mark! I'm dhry as a dog—I can't shpake but I bark!" </div> <div class="stanza"> Sez Corporal Madden to Private McFadden: "Me heart it ud gladden To blacken yer eye. Ye're gettin' too bold, ye Compel me to scold ye— 'T is halt! that I say— Will ye heed what I told ye? Wan—two Wan—two! Be jabers, I'm dhryer than Brian Boru! Wan—two! Time! Mark! What's wur-ruk for chickens is sport for the lark!" </div> <div class="stanza"> Sez Corporal Madden to Private McFadden: "I'll not stay a gadd'n Wid dagoes like you! I'll travel no farther, I'm dyin' for—wather; Come on, if ye like— Can ye loan me a quarther? Ya-as, you, What—two? And ye'll pay the potheen? Ye're a daisy! Whurroo! You'll do! Whist! Mark! The Rigiment's flatthered to own ye, me spark!" </div> </div> <hr style="width: 65%;" /> <div style="break-after:column;"></div>

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