Wit and Humor of America, The Vol 04

<h2><SPAN name="A_CABLE-CAR_PREACHER" id="A_CABLE-CAR_PREACHER"></SPAN>A CABLE-CAR PREACHER</h2> <h3>BY SAM WALTER FOSS</h3> <h3>I</h3> <div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> <span class="i0">"'Tis strange how thoughtless people are,"<br/></span> <span class="i2">A man said in a cable-car,<br/></span> <span class="i0">"How careless and how thoughtless," said<br/></span> <span class="i2">The Loud Man in the cable-car;<br/></span> <span class="i2">And then the Man with One Lame Leg<br/></span> <span class="i2">Said softly, "Pardon me, I beg,<br/></span> <span class="i0">For your valise is on my knee;<br/></span> <span class="i2">It's sore," said he of One Lame Leg.<br/></span></div> </div> <h3>II</h3> <div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> <span class="i2">A woman then came in with twins<br/></span> <span class="i2">And stumbled o'er the Loud Man's shins;<br/></span> <span class="i0">And she was tired half to death,<br/></span> <span class="i2">This Woman Who Came in with Twins;<br/></span> <span class="i2">And then the Man with One Lame Leg<br/></span> <span class="i2">Said, "Madam, take my seat, I beg."<br/></span> <span class="i0">She sat, with her vociferant Twins,<br/></span> <span class="i2">And thanked the man of One Lame Leg.<br/></span> <span class='pagenum'><SPAN name="Page_648" id="Page_648"></SPAN></span></div> </div> <h3>III</h3> <div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> <span class="i2">"'Tis strange how selfish people are,<br/></span> <span class="i2">They carry boorishness so far;<br/></span> <span class="i0">How selfish, careless, thoughtless," said<br/></span> <span class="i2">The Loud Man of the cable-car.<br/></span> <span class="i2">A Man then with the Lung Complaint<br/></span> <span class="i2">Grew dizzy and began to faint;<br/></span> <span class="i0">He reeled and swayed from side to side,<br/></span> <span class="i2">This poor Man with the Lung Complaint.<br/></span></div> </div> <h3>IV</h3> <div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> <span class="i2">The Woman Who Came in with Twins<br/></span> <span class="i2">Said, "You can hardly keep your pins;<br/></span> <span class="i0">Pray, take my seat." He sat, and thanked<br/></span> <span class="i2">The Woman Who Came in with Twins.<br/></span> <span class="i2">The Loud Man once again began<br/></span> <span class="i2">To curse the selfishness of man;<br/></span> <span class="i0">Our lack of manners he bewailed<br/></span> <span class="i2">With vigor, did this Loud, Loud Man.<br/></span></div> </div> <h3>V</h3> <div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> <span class="i2">But still the Loud Man kept his seat;<br/></span> <span class="i2">A Blind Man stumbled o'er his feet;<br/></span> <span class="i0">The Loud Man preached on selfishness,<br/></span> <span class="i2">And preached, and preached, and kept his seat.<br/></span> <span class="i2">The poor Man with the Lung Complaint<br/></span> <span class="i2">Stood up&mdash;a brave, heroic saint&mdash;<br/></span> <span class="i0">And to the Blind Man, "Take my seat,"<br/></span> <span class="i2">Said he who had the Lung Complaint.<br/></span> <span class='pagenum'><SPAN name="Page_649" id="Page_649"></SPAN></span></div> </div> <h3>VI</h3> <div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> <span class="i2">The Loud Man preached on selfish sins;<br/></span> <span class="i2">The Woman Who Came in with Twins;<br/></span> <span class="i0">The poor Man with the Lung Complaint,<br/></span> <span class="i2">Stood, while he preached on selfish sins.<br/></span> <span class="i2">And still the Man with One Lame Leg<br/></span> <span class="i2">Stood there on his imperfect peg<br/></span> <span class="i0">And heard the screed on selfish sins&mdash;<br/></span> <span class="i2">This patient Man with One Lame Leg.<br/></span></div> </div> <h3>VII</h3> <div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> <span class="i2">The Loud Man of the cable-car<br/></span> <span class="i2">Sat still and preached and traveled far;<br/></span> <span class="i0">The Blind Man spake no word unto<br/></span> <span class="i2">The Loud Man of the cable-car.<br/></span> <span class="i0">The Lame-Legged Man looked reconciled,<br/></span> <span class="i2">And she with Twins her grief beguiled,<br/></span> <span class="i0">The poor Man with the Lung Complaint&mdash;<br/></span> <span class="i2">All stood, and sweetly, sadly smiled.<br/></span> <span class='pagenum'><SPAN name="Page_650" id="Page_650"></SPAN></span></div> </div> <hr style="width: 65%;" /> <div style="break-after:column;"></div><br />