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<h2> CHAPTER XVIII </h2>
<p>Everything was now in a regular train: theatre, actors, actresses, and
dresses, were all getting forward; but though no other great impediments
arose, Fanny found, before many days were past, that it was not all
uninterrupted enjoyment to the party themselves, and that she had not to
witness the continuance of such unanimity and delight as had been almost
too much for her at first. Everybody began to have their vexation. Edmund
had many. Entirely against <i>his</i> judgment, a scene-painter arrived
from town, and was at work, much to the increase of the expenses, and,
what was worse, of the eclat of their proceedings; and his brother,
instead of being really guided by him as to the privacy of the
representation, was giving an invitation to every family who came in his
way. Tom himself began to fret over the scene-painter's slow progress, and
to feel the miseries of waiting. He had learned his part—all his
parts, for he took every trifling one that could be united with the
Butler, and began to be impatient to be acting; and every day thus
unemployed was tending to increase his sense of the insignificance of all
his parts together, and make him more ready to regret that some other play
had not been chosen.</p>
<p>Fanny, being always a very courteous listener, and often the only listener
at hand, came in for the complaints and the distresses of most of them. <i>She</i>
knew that Mr. Yates was in general thought to rant dreadfully; that Mr.
Yates was disappointed in Henry Crawford; that Tom Bertram spoke so quick
he would be unintelligible; that Mrs. Grant spoiled everything by
laughing; that Edmund was behindhand with his part, and that it was misery
to have anything to do with Mr. Rushworth, who was wanting a prompter
through every speech. She knew, also, that poor Mr. Rushworth could seldom
get anybody to rehearse with him: <i>his</i> complaint came before her as
well as the rest; and so decided to her eye was her cousin Maria's
avoidance of him, and so needlessly often the rehearsal of the first scene
between her and Mr. Crawford, that she had soon all the terror of other
complaints from <i>him</i>. So far from being all satisfied and all
enjoying, she found everybody requiring something they had not, and giving
occasion of discontent to the others. Everybody had a part either too long
or too short; nobody would attend as they ought; nobody would remember on
which side they were to come in; nobody but the complainer would observe
any directions.</p>
<p>Fanny believed herself to derive as much innocent enjoyment from the play
as any of them; Henry Crawford acted well, and it was a pleasure to <i>her</i>
to creep into the theatre, and attend the rehearsal of the first act, in
spite of the feelings it excited in some speeches for Maria. Maria, she
also thought, acted well, too well; and after the first rehearsal or two,
Fanny began to be their only audience; and sometimes as prompter,
sometimes as spectator, was often very useful. As far as she could judge,
Mr. Crawford was considerably the best actor of all: he had more
confidence than Edmund, more judgment than Tom, more talent and taste than
Mr. Yates. She did not like him as a man, but she must admit him to be the
best actor, and on this point there were not many who differed from her.
Mr. Yates, indeed, exclaimed against his tameness and insipidity; and the
day came at last, when Mr. Rushworth turned to her with a black look, and
said, "Do you think there is anything so very fine in all this? For the
life and soul of me, I cannot admire him; and, between ourselves, to see
such an undersized, little, mean-looking man, set up for a fine actor, is
very ridiculous in my opinion."</p>
<p>From this moment there was a return of his former jealousy, which Maria,
from increasing hopes of Crawford, was at little pains to remove; and the
chances of Mr. Rushworth's ever attaining to the knowledge of his
two-and-forty speeches became much less. As to his ever making anything <i>tolerable</i>
of them, nobody had the smallest idea of that except his mother; <i>she</i>,
indeed, regretted that his part was not more considerable, and deferred
coming over to Mansfield till they were forward enough in their rehearsal
to comprehend all his scenes; but the others aspired at nothing beyond his
remembering the catchword, and the first line of his speech, and being
able to follow the prompter through the rest. Fanny, in her pity and
kindheartedness, was at great pains to teach him how to learn, giving him
all the helps and directions in her power, trying to make an artificial
memory for him, and learning every word of his part herself, but without
his being much the forwarder.</p>
<p>Many uncomfortable, anxious, apprehensive feelings she certainly had; but
with all these, and other claims on her time and attention, she was as far
from finding herself without employment or utility amongst them, as
without a companion in uneasiness; quite as far from having no demand on
her leisure as on her compassion. The gloom of her first anticipations was
proved to have been unfounded. She was occasionally useful to all; she was
perhaps as much at peace as any.</p>
<p>There was a great deal of needlework to be done, moreover, in which her
help was wanted; and that Mrs. Norris thought her quite as well off as the
rest, was evident by the manner in which she claimed it—"Come,
Fanny," she cried, "these are fine times for you, but you must not be
always walking from one room to the other, and doing the lookings-on at
your ease, in this way; I want you here. I have been slaving myself till I
can hardly stand, to contrive Mr. Rushworth's cloak without sending for
any more satin; and now I think you may give me your help in putting it
together. There are but three seams; you may do them in a trice. It would
be lucky for me if I had nothing but the executive part to do. <i>You</i>
are best off, I can tell you: but if nobody did more than <i>you</i>, we
should not get on very fast."</p>
<p>Fanny took the work very quietly, without attempting any defence; but her
kinder aunt Bertram observed on her behalf—</p>
<p>"One cannot wonder, sister, that Fanny <i>should</i> be delighted: it is
all new to her, you know; you and I used to be very fond of a play
ourselves, and so am I still; and as soon as I am a little more at
leisure, <i>I</i> mean to look in at their rehearsals too. What is the
play about, Fanny? you have never told me."</p>
<p>"Oh! sister, pray do not ask her now; for Fanny is not one of those who
can talk and work at the same time. It is about Lovers' Vows."</p>
<p>"I believe," said Fanny to her aunt Bertram, "there will be three acts
rehearsed to-morrow evening, and that will give you an opportunity of
seeing all the actors at once."</p>
<p>"You had better stay till the curtain is hung," interposed Mrs. Norris;
"the curtain will be hung in a day or two—there is very little sense
in a play without a curtain—and I am much mistaken if you do not
find it draw up into very handsome festoons."</p>
<p>Lady Bertram seemed quite resigned to waiting. Fanny did not share her
aunt's composure: she thought of the morrow a great deal, for if the three
acts were rehearsed, Edmund and Miss Crawford would then be acting
together for the first time; the third act would bring a scene between
them which interested her most particularly, and which she was longing and
dreading to see how they would perform. The whole subject of it was love—a
marriage of love was to be described by the gentleman, and very little
short of a declaration of love be made by the lady.</p>
<p>She had read and read the scene again with many painful, many wondering
emotions, and looked forward to their representation of it as a
circumstance almost too interesting. She did not <i>believe</i> they had
yet rehearsed it, even in private.</p>
<p>The morrow came, the plan for the evening continued, and Fanny's
consideration of it did not become less agitated. She worked very
diligently under her aunt's directions, but her diligence and her silence
concealed a very absent, anxious mind; and about noon she made her escape
with her work to the East room, that she might have no concern in another,
and, as she deemed it, most unnecessary rehearsal of the first act, which
Henry Crawford was just proposing, desirous at once of having her time to
herself, and of avoiding the sight of Mr. Rushworth. A glimpse, as she
passed through the hall, of the two ladies walking up from the Parsonage
made no change in her wish of retreat, and she worked and meditated in the
East room, undisturbed, for a quarter of an hour, when a gentle tap at the
door was followed by the entrance of Miss Crawford.</p>
<p>"Am I right? Yes; this is the East room. My dear Miss Price, I beg your
pardon, but I have made my way to you on purpose to entreat your help."</p>
<p>Fanny, quite surprised, endeavoured to shew herself mistress of the room
by her civilities, and looked at the bright bars of her empty grate with
concern.</p>
<p>"Thank you; I am quite warm, very warm. Allow me to stay here a little
while, and do have the goodness to hear me my third act. I have brought my
book, and if you would but rehearse it with me, I should be <i>so</i>
obliged! I came here to-day intending to rehearse it with Edmund—by
ourselves—against the evening, but he is not in the way; and if he
<i>were</i>, I do not think I could go through it with <i>him</i>, till I
have hardened myself a little; for really there is a speech or two. You
will be so good, won't you?"</p>
<p>Fanny was most civil in her assurances, though she could not give them in
a very steady voice.</p>
<p>"Have you ever happened to look at the part I mean?" continued Miss
Crawford, opening her book. "Here it is. I did not think much of it at
first—but, upon my word. There, look at <i>that</i> speech, and <i>that</i>,
and <i>that</i>. How am I ever to look him in the face and say such
things? Could you do it? But then he is your cousin, which makes all the
difference. You must rehearse it with me, that I may fancy <i>you</i> him,
and get on by degrees. You <i>have</i> a look of <i>his</i> sometimes."</p>
<p>"Have I? I will do my best with the greatest readiness; but I must <i>read</i>
the part, for I can say very little of it."</p>
<p>"<i>None</i> of it, I suppose. You are to have the book, of course. Now
for it. We must have two chairs at hand for you to bring forward to the
front of the stage. There—very good school-room chairs, not made for
a theatre, I dare say; much more fitted for little girls to sit and kick
their feet against when they are learning a lesson. What would your
governess and your uncle say to see them used for such a purpose? Could
Sir Thomas look in upon us just now, he would bless himself, for we are
rehearsing all over the house. Yates is storming away in the dining-room.
I heard him as I came upstairs, and the theatre is engaged of course by
those indefatigable rehearsers, Agatha and Frederick. If <i>they</i> are
not perfect, I <i>shall</i> be surprised. By the bye, I looked in upon
them five minutes ago, and it happened to be exactly at one of the times
when they were trying <i>not</i> to embrace, and Mr. Rushworth was with
me. I thought he began to look a little queer, so I turned it off as well
as I could, by whispering to him, 'We shall have an excellent Agatha;
there is something so <i>maternal</i> in her manner, so completely <i>maternal</i>
in her voice and countenance.' Was not that well done of me? He brightened
up directly. Now for my soliloquy."</p>
<p>She began, and Fanny joined in with all the modest feeling which the idea
of representing Edmund was so strongly calculated to inspire; but with
looks and voice so truly feminine as to be no very good picture of a man.
With such an Anhalt, however, Miss Crawford had courage enough; and they
had got through half the scene, when a tap at the door brought a pause,
and the entrance of Edmund, the next moment, suspended it all.</p>
<p>Surprise, consciousness, and pleasure appeared in each of the three on
this unexpected meeting; and as Edmund was come on the very same business
that had brought Miss Crawford, consciousness and pleasure were likely to
be more than momentary in <i>them</i>. He too had his book, and was
seeking Fanny, to ask her to rehearse with him, and help him to prepare
for the evening, without knowing Miss Crawford to be in the house; and
great was the joy and animation of being thus thrown together, of
comparing schemes, and sympathising in praise of Fanny's kind offices.</p>
<p><i>She</i> could not equal them in their warmth. <i>Her</i> spirits sank
under the glow of theirs, and she felt herself becoming too nearly nothing
to both to have any comfort in having been sought by either. They must now
rehearse together. Edmund proposed, urged, entreated it, till the lady,
not very unwilling at first, could refuse no longer, and Fanny was wanted
only to prompt and observe them. She was invested, indeed, with the office
of judge and critic, and earnestly desired to exercise it and tell them
all their faults; but from doing so every feeling within her shrank—she
could not, would not, dared not attempt it: had she been otherwise
qualified for criticism, her conscience must have restrained her from
venturing at disapprobation. She believed herself to feel too much of it
in the aggregate for honesty or safety in particulars. To prompt them must
be enough for her; and it was sometimes <i>more</i> than enough; for she
could not always pay attention to the book. In watching them she forgot
herself; and, agitated by the increasing spirit of Edmund's manner, had
once closed the page and turned away exactly as he wanted help. It was
imputed to very reasonable weariness, and she was thanked and pitied; but
she deserved their pity more than she hoped they would ever surmise. At
last the scene was over, and Fanny forced herself to add her praise to the
compliments each was giving the other; and when again alone and able to
recall the whole, she was inclined to believe their performance would,
indeed, have such nature and feeling in it as must ensure their credit,
and make it a very suffering exhibition to herself. Whatever might be its
effect, however, she must stand the brunt of it again that very day.</p>
<p>The first regular rehearsal of the three first acts was certainly to take
place in the evening: Mrs. Grant and the Crawfords were engaged to return
for that purpose as soon as they could after dinner; and every one
concerned was looking forward with eagerness. There seemed a general
diffusion of cheerfulness on the occasion. Tom was enjoying such an
advance towards the end; Edmund was in spirits from the morning's
rehearsal, and little vexations seemed everywhere smoothed away. All were
alert and impatient; the ladies moved soon, the gentlemen soon followed
them, and with the exception of Lady Bertram, Mrs. Norris, and Julia,
everybody was in the theatre at an early hour; and having lighted it up as
well as its unfinished state admitted, were waiting only the arrival of
Mrs. Grant and the Crawfords to begin.</p>
<p>They did not wait long for the Crawfords, but there was no Mrs. Grant. She
could not come. Dr. Grant, professing an indisposition, for which he had
little credit with his fair sister-in-law, could not spare his wife.</p>
<p>"Dr. Grant is ill," said she, with mock solemnity. "He has been ill ever
since he did not eat any of the pheasant today. He fancied it tough, sent
away his plate, and has been suffering ever since".</p>
<p>Here was disappointment! Mrs. Grant's non-attendance was sad indeed. Her
pleasant manners and cheerful conformity made her always valuable amongst
them; but <i>now</i> she was absolutely necessary. They could not act,
they could not rehearse with any satisfaction without her. The comfort of
the whole evening was destroyed. What was to be done? Tom, as Cottager,
was in despair. After a pause of perplexity, some eyes began to be turned
towards Fanny, and a voice or two to say, "If Miss Price would be so good
as to <i>read</i> the part." She was immediately surrounded by
supplications; everybody asked it; even Edmund said, "Do, Fanny, if it is
not <i>very</i> disagreeable to you."</p>
<p>But Fanny still hung back. She could not endure the idea of it. Why was
not Miss Crawford to be applied to as well? Or why had not she rather gone
to her own room, as she had felt to be safest, instead of attending the
rehearsal at all? She had known it would irritate and distress her; she
had known it her duty to keep away. She was properly punished.</p>
<p>"You have only to <i>read</i> the part," said Henry Crawford, with renewed
entreaty.</p>
<p>"And I do believe she can say every word of it," added Maria, "for she
could put Mrs. Grant right the other day in twenty places. Fanny, I am
sure you know the part."</p>
<p>Fanny could not say she did <i>not</i>; and as they all persevered, as
Edmund repeated his wish, and with a look of even fond dependence on her
good-nature, she must yield. She would do her best. Everybody was
satisfied; and she was left to the tremors of a most palpitating heart,
while the others prepared to begin.</p>
<p>They <i>did</i> begin; and being too much engaged in their own noise to be
struck by an unusual noise in the other part of the house, had proceeded
some way when the door of the room was thrown open, and Julia, appearing
at it, with a face all aghast, exclaimed, "My father is come! He is in the
hall at this moment."</p>
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