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<h2> CHAPTER XXVI </h2>
<p>William's desire of seeing Fanny dance made more than a momentary
impression on his uncle. The hope of an opportunity, which Sir Thomas had
then given, was not given to be thought of no more. He remained steadily
inclined to gratify so amiable a feeling; to gratify anybody else who
might wish to see Fanny dance, and to give pleasure to the young people in
general; and having thought the matter over, and taken his resolution in
quiet independence, the result of it appeared the next morning at
breakfast, when, after recalling and commending what his nephew had said,
he added, "I do not like, William, that you should leave Northamptonshire
without this indulgence. It would give me pleasure to see you both dance.
You spoke of the balls at Northampton. Your cousins have occasionally
attended them; but they would not altogether suit us now. The fatigue
would be too much for your aunt. I believe we must not think of a
Northampton ball. A dance at home would be more eligible; and if—"</p>
<p>"Ah, my dear Sir Thomas!" interrupted Mrs. Norris, "I knew what was
coming. I knew what you were going to say. If dear Julia were at home, or
dearest Mrs. Rushworth at Sotherton, to afford a reason, an occasion for
such a thing, you would be tempted to give the young people a dance at
Mansfield. I know you would. If <i>they</i> were at home to grace the
ball, a ball you would have this very Christmas. Thank your uncle,
William, thank your uncle!"</p>
<p>"My daughters," replied Sir Thomas, gravely interposing, "have their
pleasures at Brighton, and I hope are very happy; but the dance which I
think of giving at Mansfield will be for their cousins. Could we be all
assembled, our satisfaction would undoubtedly be more complete, but the
absence of some is not to debar the others of amusement."</p>
<p>Mrs. Norris had not another word to say. She saw decision in his looks,
and her surprise and vexation required some minutes' silence to be settled
into composure. A ball at such a time! His daughters absent and herself
not consulted! There was comfort, however, soon at hand. <i>She</i> must
be the doer of everything: Lady Bertram would of course be spared all
thought and exertion, and it would all fall upon <i>her</i>. She should
have to do the honours of the evening; and this reflection quickly
restored so much of her good-humour as enabled her to join in with the
others, before their happiness and thanks were all expressed.</p>
<p>Edmund, William, and Fanny did, in their different ways, look and speak as
much grateful pleasure in the promised ball as Sir Thomas could desire.
Edmund's feelings were for the other two. His father had never conferred a
favour or shewn a kindness more to his satisfaction.</p>
<p>Lady Bertram was perfectly quiescent and contented, and had no objections
to make. Sir Thomas engaged for its giving her very little trouble; and
she assured him "that she was not at all afraid of the trouble; indeed,
she could not imagine there would be any."</p>
<p>Mrs. Norris was ready with her suggestions as to the rooms he would think
fittest to be used, but found it all prearranged; and when she would have
conjectured and hinted about the day, it appeared that the day was settled
too. Sir Thomas had been amusing himself with shaping a very complete
outline of the business; and as soon as she would listen quietly, could
read his list of the families to be invited, from whom he calculated, with
all necessary allowance for the shortness of the notice, to collect young
people enough to form twelve or fourteen couple: and could detail the
considerations which had induced him to fix on the 22nd as the most
eligible day. William was required to be at Portsmouth on the 24th; the
22nd would therefore be the last day of his visit; but where the days were
so few it would be unwise to fix on any earlier. Mrs. Norris was obliged
to be satisfied with thinking just the same, and with having been on the
point of proposing the 22nd herself, as by far the best day for the
purpose.</p>
<p>The ball was now a settled thing, and before the evening a proclaimed
thing to all whom it concerned. Invitations were sent with despatch, and
many a young lady went to bed that night with her head full of happy cares
as well as Fanny. To her the cares were sometimes almost beyond the
happiness; for young and inexperienced, with small means of choice and no
confidence in her own taste, the "how she should be dressed" was a point
of painful solicitude; and the almost solitary ornament in her possession,
a very pretty amber cross which William had brought her from Sicily, was
the greatest distress of all, for she had nothing but a bit of ribbon to
fasten it to; and though she had worn it in that manner once, would it be
allowable at such a time in the midst of all the rich ornaments which she
supposed all the other young ladies would appear in? And yet not to wear
it! William had wanted to buy her a gold chain too, but the purchase had
been beyond his means, and therefore not to wear the cross might be
mortifying him. These were anxious considerations; enough to sober her
spirits even under the prospect of a ball given principally for her
gratification.</p>
<p>The preparations meanwhile went on, and Lady Bertram continued to sit on
her sofa without any inconvenience from them. She had some extra visits
from the housekeeper, and her maid was rather hurried in making up a new
dress for her: Sir Thomas gave orders, and Mrs. Norris ran about; but all
this gave <i>her</i> no trouble, and as she had foreseen, "there was, in
fact, no trouble in the business."</p>
<p>Edmund was at this time particularly full of cares: his mind being deeply
occupied in the consideration of two important events now at hand, which
were to fix his fate in life—ordination and matrimony—events
of such a serious character as to make the ball, which would be very
quickly followed by one of them, appear of less moment in his eyes than in
those of any other person in the house. On the 23rd he was going to a
friend near Peterborough, in the same situation as himself, and they were
to receive ordination in the course of the Christmas week. Half his
destiny would then be determined, but the other half might not be so very
smoothly wooed. His duties would be established, but the wife who was to
share, and animate, and reward those duties, might yet be unattainable. He
knew his own mind, but he was not always perfectly assured of knowing Miss
Crawford's. There were points on which they did not quite agree; there
were moments in which she did not seem propitious; and though trusting
altogether to her affection, so far as to be resolved—almost
resolved—on bringing it to a decision within a very short time, as
soon as the variety of business before him were arranged, and he knew what
he had to offer her, he had many anxious feelings, many doubting hours as
to the result. His conviction of her regard for him was sometimes very
strong; he could look back on a long course of encouragement, and she was
as perfect in disinterested attachment as in everything else. But at other
times doubt and alarm intermingled with his hopes; and when he thought of
her acknowledged disinclination for privacy and retirement, her decided
preference of a London life, what could he expect but a determined
rejection? unless it were an acceptance even more to be deprecated,
demanding such sacrifices of situation and employment on his side as
conscience must forbid.</p>
<p>The issue of all depended on one question. Did she love him well enough to
forego what had used to be essential points? Did she love him well enough
to make them no longer essential? And this question, which he was
continually repeating to himself, though oftenest answered with a "Yes,"
had sometimes its "No."</p>
<p>Miss Crawford was soon to leave Mansfield, and on this circumstance the
"no" and the "yes" had been very recently in alternation. He had seen her
eyes sparkle as she spoke of the dear friend's letter, which claimed a
long visit from her in London, and of the kindness of Henry, in engaging
to remain where he was till January, that he might convey her thither; he
had heard her speak of the pleasure of such a journey with an animation
which had "no" in every tone. But this had occurred on the first day of
its being settled, within the first hour of the burst of such enjoyment,
when nothing but the friends she was to visit was before her. He had since
heard her express herself differently, with other feelings, more chequered
feelings: he had heard her tell Mrs. Grant that she should leave her with
regret; that she began to believe neither the friends nor the pleasures
she was going to were worth those she left behind; and that though she
felt she must go, and knew she should enjoy herself when once away, she
was already looking forward to being at Mansfield again. Was there not a
"yes" in all this?</p>
<p>With such matters to ponder over, and arrange, and re-arrange, Edmund
could not, on his own account, think very much of the evening which the
rest of the family were looking forward to with a more equal degree of
strong interest. Independent of his two cousins' enjoyment in it, the
evening was to him of no higher value than any other appointed meeting of
the two families might be. In every meeting there was a hope of receiving
farther confirmation of Miss Crawford's attachment; but the whirl of a
ballroom, perhaps, was not particularly favourable to the excitement or
expression of serious feelings. To engage her early for the two first
dances was all the command of individual happiness which he felt in his
power, and the only preparation for the ball which he could enter into, in
spite of all that was passing around him on the subject, from morning till
night.</p>
<p>Thursday was the day of the ball; and on Wednesday morning Fanny, still
unable to satisfy herself as to what she ought to wear, determined to seek
the counsel of the more enlightened, and apply to Mrs. Grant and her
sister, whose acknowledged taste would certainly bear her blameless; and
as Edmund and William were gone to Northampton, and she had reason to
think Mr. Crawford likewise out, she walked down to the Parsonage without
much fear of wanting an opportunity for private discussion; and the
privacy of such a discussion was a most important part of it to Fanny,
being more than half-ashamed of her own solicitude.</p>
<p>She met Miss Crawford within a few yards of the Parsonage, just setting
out to call on her, and as it seemed to her that her friend, though
obliged to insist on turning back, was unwilling to lose her walk, she
explained her business at once, and observed, that if she would be so kind
as to give her opinion, it might be all talked over as well without doors
as within. Miss Crawford appeared gratified by the application, and after
a moment's thought, urged Fanny's returning with her in a much more
cordial manner than before, and proposed their going up into her room,
where they might have a comfortable coze, without disturbing Dr. and Mrs.
Grant, who were together in the drawing-room. It was just the plan to suit
Fanny; and with a great deal of gratitude on her side for such ready and
kind attention, they proceeded indoors, and upstairs, and were soon deep
in the interesting subject. Miss Crawford, pleased with the appeal, gave
her all her best judgment and taste, made everything easy by her
suggestions, and tried to make everything agreeable by her encouragement.
The dress being settled in all its grander parts—"But what shall you
have by way of necklace?" said Miss Crawford. "Shall not you wear your
brother's cross?" And as she spoke she was undoing a small parcel, which
Fanny had observed in her hand when they met. Fanny acknowledged her
wishes and doubts on this point: she did not know how either to wear the
cross, or to refrain from wearing it. She was answered by having a small
trinket-box placed before her, and being requested to chuse from among
several gold chains and necklaces. Such had been the parcel with which
Miss Crawford was provided, and such the object of her intended visit: and
in the kindest manner she now urged Fanny's taking one for the cross and
to keep for her sake, saying everything she could think of to obviate the
scruples which were making Fanny start back at first with a look of horror
at the proposal.</p>
<p>"You see what a collection I have," said she; "more by half than I ever
use or think of. I do not offer them as new. I offer nothing but an old
necklace. You must forgive the liberty, and oblige me."</p>
<p>Fanny still resisted, and from her heart. The gift was too valuable. But
Miss Crawford persevered, and argued the case with so much affectionate
earnestness through all the heads of William and the cross, and the ball,
and herself, as to be finally successful. Fanny found herself obliged to
yield, that she might not be accused of pride or indifference, or some
other littleness; and having with modest reluctance given her consent,
proceeded to make the selection. She looked and looked, longing to know
which might be least valuable; and was determined in her choice at last,
by fancying there was one necklace more frequently placed before her eyes
than the rest. It was of gold, prettily worked; and though Fanny would
have preferred a longer and a plainer chain as more adapted for her
purpose, she hoped, in fixing on this, to be chusing what Miss Crawford
least wished to keep. Miss Crawford smiled her perfect approbation; and
hastened to complete the gift by putting the necklace round her, and
making her see how well it looked. Fanny had not a word to say against its
becomingness, and, excepting what remained of her scruples, was
exceedingly pleased with an acquisition so very apropos. She would rather,
perhaps, have been obliged to some other person. But this was an unworthy
feeling. Miss Crawford had anticipated her wants with a kindness which
proved her a real friend. "When I wear this necklace I shall always think
of you," said she, "and feel how very kind you were."</p>
<p>"You must think of somebody else too, when you wear that necklace,"
replied Miss Crawford. "You must think of Henry, for it was his choice in
the first place. He gave it to me, and with the necklace I make over to
you all the duty of remembering the original giver. It is to be a family
remembrancer. The sister is not to be in your mind without bringing the
brother too."</p>
<p>Fanny, in great astonishment and confusion, would have returned the
present instantly. To take what had been the gift of another person, of a
brother too, impossible! it must not be! and with an eagerness and
embarrassment quite diverting to her companion, she laid down the necklace
again on its cotton, and seemed resolved either to take another or none at
all. Miss Crawford thought she had never seen a prettier consciousness.
"My dear child," said she, laughing, "what are you afraid of? Do you think
Henry will claim the necklace as mine, and fancy you did not come honestly
by it? or are you imagining he would be too much flattered by seeing round
your lovely throat an ornament which his money purchased three years ago,
before he knew there was such a throat in the world? or perhaps"—looking
archly—"you suspect a confederacy between us, and that what I am now
doing is with his knowledge and at his desire?"</p>
<p>With the deepest blushes Fanny protested against such a thought.</p>
<p>"Well, then," replied Miss Crawford more seriously, but without at all
believing her, "to convince me that you suspect no trick, and are as
unsuspicious of compliment as I have always found you, take the necklace
and say no more about it. Its being a gift of my brother's need not make
the smallest difference in your accepting it, as I assure you it makes
none in my willingness to part with it. He is always giving me something
or other. I have such innumerable presents from him that it is quite
impossible for me to value or for him to remember half. And as for this
necklace, I do not suppose I have worn it six times: it is very pretty,
but I never think of it; and though you would be most heartily welcome to
any other in my trinket-box, you have happened to fix on the very one
which, if I have a choice, I would rather part with and see in your
possession than any other. Say no more against it, I entreat you. Such a
trifle is not worth half so many words."</p>
<p>Fanny dared not make any farther opposition; and with renewed but less
happy thanks accepted the necklace again, for there was an expression in
Miss Crawford's eyes which she could not be satisfied with.</p>
<p>It was impossible for her to be insensible of Mr. Crawford's change of
manners. She had long seen it. He evidently tried to please her: he was
gallant, he was attentive, he was something like what he had been to her
cousins: he wanted, she supposed, to cheat her of her tranquillity as he
had cheated them; and whether he might not have some concern in this
necklace—she could not be convinced that he had not, for Miss
Crawford, complaisant as a sister, was careless as a woman and a friend.</p>
<p>Reflecting and doubting, and feeling that the possession of what she had
so much wished for did not bring much satisfaction, she now walked home
again, with a change rather than a diminution of cares since her treading
that path before.</p>
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