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<h1>THE SECRET BATTLE</h1>
<h2>BY A. P. HERBERT</h2>
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<h2><SPAN name="I" id="I"></SPAN>I</h2>
<p>I am going to write down some of the history of Harry Penrose, because I
do not think full justice has been done to him, and because there must
be many other young men of his kind who flung themselves into this war
at the beginning of it, and have gone out of it after many sufferings
with the unjust and ignorant condemnation of their fellows. At times, it
may be, I shall seem to digress into the dreary commonplaces of all
war-chronicles, but you will never understand the ruthless progression
of Penrose's tragedy without some acquaintance with each chapter of his
life in the army.</p>
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<p>He joined the battalion only a few days before we left Plymouth for
Gallipoli, a shy, intelligent-looking person, with smooth, freckled skin
and quick, nervous movements; and although he was at once posted to my
company we had not become at all intimate when we steamed at last into
Mudros Bay. But he had interested me from the first, and at intervals in
the busy routine of a troopship passing without escort through submarine
waters, I had been watching him and delighting in his keenness and happy
disposition.</p>
<p>It was not my first voyage through the Mediterranean, though it was the
first I had made in a transport, and I liked to see my own earlier
enthusiasm vividly reproduced in him. Cape Spartel and the first glimpse
of Africa; Tangiers and Tarifa and all that magical hour's steaming
through the narrow waters with the pink and white houses hiding under
the hills; Gibraltar Town shimmering and asleep in the noonday sun;
Malta and the bumboat women, carozzes swaying through the narrow,
chattering streets; cool drinks at caf�s in a babel of strange tongues;
all these were to Penrose part of the authentic glamour of the East; and
he said so. I might have told him, with the fatuous pomp of wider
experience, that they were in truth but a very distant reflection of the
genuine East; but I did not. For it was refreshing to see any one so
frankly confessing to the sensations of adventure and romance. To other
members of the officers' mess the spectacle of Gibraltar from the sea
may have been more stimulating than the spectacle of Southend (though
this is doubtful); but it is certain that few of them would have
admitted the grave impeachment.</p>
<p>At Malta some of us spent an evening ashore, and sat for a little in a
tawdry, riotous little caf�, where two poor singing women strove vainly
to make themselves heard above the pandemonium of clinked glasses and
bawled orders; there we met many officers newly returned from the
landing at Cape Helles, some of them with slight bodily wounds, but all
of them with grievous injury staring out of their eyes. Those of them
who would speak at all were voluble with anecdotes of horror and blood.
Most of our own party had not yet lost the light-hearted mood in which
men went to the war in those days; the 'picnic' illusion of war was not
yet dispelled; also, individually, no doubt, we had that curious
confidence of the unblooded soldier that none of these strange, terrible
things could ever actually happen to <i>us</i>; we should for ever hang upon
the pleasant fringes of war, sailing in strange seas, and drinking in
strange towns, but never definitely entangled in the more crude and
distasteful circumstances of battle. And if there were any of us with a
secret consciousness that we deceived ourselves, to-night was no time to
tear away the veil. Let there be lights and laughter and wine;
to-morrow, if need be, let us be told how the wounded had drowned in the
wired shallows, and reckon the toll of that unforgettable exploit and
the terrors that were still at work. And so we would not be dragooned
into seriousness by these messengers from the Peninsula; but rather,
with no injury to their feelings, laughed at their croakings and
continued to drink.</p>
<p>But Harry Penrose was different. He was all eagerness to hear every
detail, hideous and heroic.</p>
<p>There was one officer present, from the 29th Division, a man about
thirty, with a tanned, melancholy face and great solemn eyes, which, for
all the horrors he related, seemed to have something yet more horrible
hidden in their depths. Him Harry plied with questions, his reveller's
mood flung impatiently aside; and the man seemed ready to tell him
things, though from his occasional reservations and sorrowful smile I
knew that he was pitying Harry for his youth, his eagerness and his
ignorance.</p>
<p>Around us were the curses of overworked waiters, and the babble of loud
conversations, and the smell of spilt beer; there were two officers
uproariously drunk, and in the distance pathetic snatches of songs were
heard from the struggling singer on the dais. We were in one of the
first outposts of the Empire, and halfway to one of her greatest
adventures. And this excited youth at my side was the only one of all
that throng who was ready to hear the truth of it, and to speak of
death. I lay emphasis on this incident, because it well illustrates his
attitude towards the war at that time (which too many have now
forgotten), and because I then first found the image which alone
reflects the many curiosities of his personality.</p>
<p>He was like an imaginative, inquisitive child; a child that cherishes a
secret gallery of pictures in its mind, and must continually be feeding
this storehouse with new pictures of the unknown; that is not content
with a vague outline of something that is to come, a dentist, or a
visit, or a doll, but will not rest till the experience is safely put
away in its place, a clear, uncompromising picture, to be taken down and
played with at will.</p>
<p>Moreover, he had the fearlessness of a child—but I shall come to that
later.</p>
<p>And so we came to Mudros, threading a placid way between the deceitful
Aegean Islands. Harry loved them because they wore so green and inviting
an aspect, and again I did not undeceive him and tell him how parched
and austere, how barren of comfortable grass and shade he would find
them on closer acquaintance. We steamed into Mudros Bay at the end of an
unbelievable sunset; in the great harbour were gathered regiments of
ships—battleship, cruiser, tramp, transport, and trawler, and as the
sun sank into the western hills, the masts and the rigging of all of
them were radiant with its last rays, while all their decks and hulls
lay already in the soft blue dusk. There is something extraordinarily
soothing in the almost imperceptible motion of a big steamer gliding at
slow speed to her anchorage; as I leaned over the rail of the boat-deck
and heard the tiny bugle-calls float across from the French or English
warships, and watched the miniature crews at work upon their decks, I
became aware that Penrose was similarly engaged close at hand, and it
seemed to me an opportunity to learn something of the history of this
strange young man.</p>
<p>Beginning with his delight in the voyage and all the marvellous romance
of our surroundings, I led him on to speak of himself. Both his parents
had died when he was a boy at school. They had left him enough to go to
Oxford upon (without the help of the Exhibition he had won), and he had
but just completed his second year there when the war broke out. For
some mysterious reason he had immediately enlisted instead of applying
for a commission, like his friends. I gathered—though not from anything
he directly said—that he had had a hard time in the ranks. The majority
of his companions in training had come down from the north with the
first draft of Tynesiders; and though, God knows, the Tynesider as a
fighting man has been unsurpassed in this war, they were a wild, rough
crowd before they became soldiers, and I can understand that for a
high-strung, sensitive boy of his type the intimate daily round of
eating, talking, and sleeping with them, must have made large demands on
his patriotism and grit. But he said it did him good; and it was only
the pestering of his guardian and relations that after six months forced
him to take a commission. He had a curious lack of confidence in his
fitness to be an officer—a feeling which is deplorably absent in
hundreds not half as fit as he was; but from what I had seen of his
handling of his platoon on the voyage (and the men are difficult after a
week or two at sea) I was able to assure him that he need have no
qualms. He was, I discovered, pathetically full of military ambitions;
he dreamed already, he confessed, of decorations and promotions and
glorious charges. In short, he was like many another undergraduate
officer of those days in his eagerness and readiness for sacrifice, but
far removed from the common type in his romantic, imaginative outlook
towards the war. 'Romantic' is the only word, I think, and it is
melancholy for me to remember that even then I said to myself, 'I wonder
how long the romance will last, my son.'</p>
<p>But I could not guess just how terrible was to be its decay.</p>
<h3>II</h3>
<p>We were not to be long at Mudros. For three days we lay in the
sweltering heat of the great hill-circled bay, watching the warships
come and go, and buying fruit from the little Greek sailing boats which
fluttered round the harbour. These were days of hot anxiety about one's
kit; hourly each officer reorganized and re-disposed his exiguous
belongings, and re-weighed his valise, and jettisoned yet more precious
articles of comfort, lest the weight regulations be violated and for the
sake of an extra shirt the whole of one's equipment be cast into the sea
by the mysterious figure we believed to watch over these things.
Afterwards we found that all our care was in vain, and in the
comfortless camps of the Peninsula bitterly bewailed the little luxuries
we had needlessly left behind, now so unattainable. Down in the odorous
troop-decks the men wrote long letters describing the battles in which
they were already engaged, and the sound of quite mythical guns.</p>
<p>But on the third day came our sailing orders. In the evening a little
trawler, promoted to the dignity of a fleet-sweeper, came alongside, and
all the regiment of gross, overloaded figures, festooned with armament
and bags of food, and strange, knobbly parcels, tumbled heavily over the
side. Many men have written of the sailing of the first argosy of
troopships from that bay; and by this time the spectacle of departing
troops was an old one to the vessels there. But this did not diminish
the quality of their farewells. All the King's ships 'manned ship' as we
passed, and sent us a great wave of cheering that filled the heart with
sadness and resolution.</p>
<p>In one of the French ships was a party of her crew high up somewhere
above the deck, and they sang for us with astonishing accuracy and
feeling the 'Chant du D�part'; so moving was this that even the stolid
Northerners in our sweeper were stirred to make some more articulate
acknowledgment than the official British cheer; and one old pitman,
searching among his memories of some Lancashire music-hall, dug out a
rough version of the 'Marseillaise.' By degrees all our men took up the
tune and sang it mightily, with no suspicion of words; and the officers,
not less timidly, joined in, and were proud of the men for what they had
done. For many were moved in that moment who were never moved before.
But while we were yet warm with cheering and the sense of knighthood, we
cleared the boom and shivered a little in the breeze of the open sea.</p>
<p>The sun went down, and soon it was very cold in the sweeper: and in each
man's heart I think there was a certain chill. There were no more songs,
but the men whispered in small groups, or stood silent, shifting
uneasily their wearisome packs. For now we were indeed cut on from
civilization and committed to the unknown. The transport we had left
seemed a very haven of comfort and security; one thought longingly of
white tables in the saloon, and the unfriendly linen bags of bully-beef
and biscuits we carried were concrete evidence of a new life. The war
seemed no longer remote, and each of us realized indignantly that we
were personally involved in it. So for a little all these soldiers had a
period of serious thought unusual in the soldier's life. But as we
neared the Peninsula the excitement and novelty and the prospect of
exercising cramped limbs brought back valour and cheerfulness.</p>
<p>At Malta we had heard many tales of the still terrifying ordeal of
landing under fire. But such terrors were not for us. There was a bright
moon, and as we saw the pale cliffs of Cape Helles, all, I think,
expected each moment a torrent of shells from some obscure quarter. But
instead an unearthly stillness brooded over the two bays, and only a
Morse lamp blinking at the sweeper suggested that any living thing was
there. And there came over the water a strange musty smell; some said it
was the smell of the dead, and some the smell of an incinerator; myself
I do not know, but it was the smell of the Peninsula for ever, which no
man can forget. We disembarked at a pier of rafts by the <i>River Clyde</i>,
and stumbled eagerly ashore. And now we were in the very heart of heroic
things. Nowhere, I think, was the new soldier plunged so suddenly into
the genuine scenes of war as he was at Gallipoli; in France there was a
long transition of training-camps and railway trains and billets, and he
moved by easy gradations to the firing-line. But here, a few hours after
a night in linen sheets, we stood suddenly on the very sand where, but
three weeks before, those hideous machine-guns in the cliffs had mown
down that astonishing party of April 25. And in that silver stillness it
was difficult to believe.</p>
<p>We shambled off up the steady slope between two cliffs, marvelling that
any men could have prevailed against so perfect a 'field of fire.' By
now we were very tired, and it was heavy work labouring through the soft
sand. Queer, Moorish-looking figures in white robes peered at us from
dark corners, and here and there a man poked a tousled head from a hole
in the ground, and blinked upon our progress. Some one remarked that it
reminded him of nothing so much as the native camp at Earl's Court on a
fine August evening, and that indeed was the effect.</p>
<p>After a little the stillness was broken by a sound which we could not
conceal from ourselves was 'the distant rattle of musketry'; somewhere a
gun fired startlingly; and now as we went each man felt vaguely that at
any minute we might be plunged into the thick of a battle, laden as we
were, and I think each man braced himself for a desperate struggle. Such
is the effect of marching in the dark to an unknown destination. Soon we
were halted in a piece of apparently waste land circled by trees, and
ordered to dig ourselves a habitation at once, for 'in the morning' it
was whispered 'the Turks search all this ground.' Everything was said in
a kind of hoarse, mysterious whisper, presumably to conceal our
observations from the ears of the Turks five miles away. But then we did
not know they were five miles away; we had no idea where they were or
where we were ourselves. Men glanced furtively at the North Star for
guidance, and were pained to find that, contrary to their military
teaching, it told them nothing. Even the digging was carried on a little
stealthily till it was discovered that the Turks were not behind those
trees. The digging was a comfort to the men, who, being pitmen, were now
in their element; and the officers found solace in whispering to each
other that magical communication about the prospective 'searching'; it
was the first technical word they had used 'in the field,' and they were
secretly proud to know what it meant.</p>
<p>In a little the dawn began, and the grey trees took shape; and the sun
came up out of Asia, and we saw at last the little sugar-loaf peak of
Achi Baba, absurdly pink and diminutive in the distance. A man's first
frontal impression of that great rampart, with the outlying slopes
masking the summit, was that it was disappointingly small; but when he
had lived under and upon it for a while, day by day, it seemed to grow
in menace and in bulk, and ultimately became a hideous, overpowering
monster, pervading all his life; so that it worked upon men's nerves,
and almost everywhere in the Peninsula they were painfully conscious
that every movement they made could be watched from somewhere on that
massive hill.</p>
<p>But now the kitchens had come, and there was breakfast and viscous,
milkless tea. We discovered that all around our seeming solitude the
earth had been peopled with sleepers, who now emerged from their holes;
there was a stir of washing and cooking and singing, and the smoke went
up from the wood fires in the clear, cool air. D Company officers made
their camp under an olive-tree, with a view over the blue water to
Samothrace and Imbros, and now in the early cool, before the sun had
gathered his noonday malignity, it was very pleasant. At seven o'clock
the 'searching' began. A mile away, on the northern cliffs, the first
shell burst, stampeding a number of horses. The long-drawn warning
scream and the final crash gave all the expectant battalion a faintly
pleasurable thrill, and as each shell came a little nearer the sensation
remained. No one was afraid; without the knowledge of experience no one
could be seriously afraid on this cool, sunny morning in the grove of
olive-trees. Those chill hours in the sweeper had been much more
alarming. The common sensation was: 'At last I am really under fire;
to-day I shall write home and tell them about it.' And then, when it
seemed that the line on which the shells were falling must, if
continued, pass through the middle of our camp, the firing mysteriously
ceased.</p>
<p>Harry, I know, was disappointed; personally, I was pleased.</p>
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<p>I learned more about Harry that afternoon. He had been much exhausted by
the long night, but was now refreshed and filled with an almost childish
enthusiasm by the pictorial attractions of the place. For this
enthusiastic soul one thing only was lacking in the site of the camp:
the rise of the hill which here runs down the centre of the Peninsula,
hid from us the Dardanelles. These, he said, must immediately be viewed.
It was a bright afternoon of blue skies and gentle air,—not yet had the
dry north-east wind come to plague us with dust-clouds,—and all the
vivid colours of the scene were unspoiled. We walked over the hill
through the parched scrub, where lizards darted from under our feet and
tortoises lay comatose in the scanty shade, and came to a kind of inland
cliff, where the Turks had had many riflemen at the landing, for all the
ground was littered with empty cartridges. And there was unfolded surely
the most gorgeous panorama this war has provided for prosaic Englishmen
to see. Below was a cool, inviting grove of imperial cypresses; all
along the narrow strip between us and the shore lay the rest-lines of
the French, where moved lazy figures in blue and red, and black
Senegalese in many colours. To the left was the wide sweep of Morto Bay,
and beyond the first section of Achi Baba rising to De Tott's Battery in
terraces of olives and vines. But what caught the immediate eye, what we
had come to see and had sailed hither to fight for, was that strip of
unbelievably blue water before us, deep, generous blue, like a Chinese
bowl. On the farther shore, towards the entrance to the Straits, we
could see a wide green plain, and beyond and to the left, peak after
peak of the mountains of Asia; and far away in the middle distance there
was a glint of snow from some regal summit of the Anatolian Mountains.</p>
<p>That wide green plain was the Plain of Troy. The scarcity of classical
scholars in Expeditionary Forces, and the wearisome observations of
pressmen on the subject of Troy, have combined to belittle the
significance of the classical surroundings of the Gallipoli campaign. I
myself am a stolid, ill-read person, but I confess that the spectacle of
those historic flats was not one, in diplomatic phrase, which I could
view with indifference. On Harry, ridiculously excited already, the
effect was almost alarming. He became quite lyrical over two little
sweepers apparently anchored near the mouth of the Straits. 'That,' he
said, 'must have been where the Greek fleet lay. God! it's wonderful.'
Up on the slope towards De Tott's Battery the guns were busy, and now
and then Asiatic Annie sent over a large shell from the region of
Achilles' tomb, which burst ponderously in the sea off Cape Helles. And
there we sat on the rough edge of the cliff and talked of Achilles and
Hector and Diomed and Patroclus and the far-sounding bolts of Jove. I do
not defend or exalt this action; but this is a truthful record of a
man's personality, and I simply state what occurred. And I confess that
with the best wish in the world I was myself becoming a little bored
with Troy, when in the middle of a sentence he suddenly became silent
and gazed across the Straits with a fixed, pinched look in his face,
like a man who is reminded of some far-off calamity he had forgotten.
For perhaps a minute he maintained this rigid aspect, and then as
suddenly relaxed, murmuring in a tone of relentless determination, 'I
will.' It was not in me not to inquire into the nature of this
passionate intention, and somehow I induced him to explain.</p>
<p>It seemed that in spite of his genuine academic successes and a moderate
popularity at school and at Oxford, he had suffered from early boyhood
from a curious distrust of his own capacity in the face of anything he
had to do. In a measure, no doubt, this had even contributed to his
successes. For his nervousness took the form of an intimate, silent
brooding over any ordeal that lay before him, whether it was a visit to
his uncle, or 'Schools,' or a dance: he would lie awake for hours
imagining all conceivable forms of error and failure and humiliation
that might befall him in his endeavour. And though he was to this extent
forewarned and forearmed, it must have been a painful process. And it
explained to me the puzzling intervals of seeming melancholy which I had
seen varying his usually cheerful demeanour.</p>
<p>'You remember last night,' he said, 'I had been detailed to look after
the baggage when we disembarked, and take charge of the unloading-party?
As far as I know I did the job all right, except for losing old
Tompkins' valise—but you can't think how much worry and anxiety it gave
me <i>beforehand</i>. All the time on the sweeper I was imagining the
hundreds of possible disasters: the working-party not turning up, and me
left alone on the boat with the baggage—the Colonel's things being
dropped overboard—a row with the M.L.O.—getting the baggage ashore,
and then losing the battalion, or the working-party, or the baggage. It
all worked out quite simply, but I tell you, Benson, it gave me hell.
And it's always the same. That's really why I didn't take a
commission—because I couldn't imagine myself drilling men once without
becoming a permanent laughing-stock. I know now that I was a fool about
that—I usually do find that out—but I can't escape the feeling next
time.</p>
<p>'And now, it's not only little things like that, but that's what I feel
about the whole war. I've a terror of being a failure in it, a failure
out here—you know, a sort of regimental dud. I've heard of lots of
them; the kind of man that nobody gives an important job because he's
sure to muck it up (though I do believe Eccleston's more likely to be
that than me). But that's what I was thinking just now. Somehow, looking
at this view—Troy and all that—and thinking how those Greeks sweated
blood for ten years on afternoons like this, doing their duty for the
damned old kings, and how we've come out here to fight in the same place
thousands of years afterwards, and we still know about them and remember
their names—well, it gave me a kind of inspiration; I don't know why.
I've got a bit of confidence—God knows how long it will last—but I
swear I won't be a failure, I won't be the battalion dud—and I'll have
a damned good try to get a medal of some sort and be like—like Achilles
or somebody.'</p>
<p>Sheer breathlessness put a sudden end to this outburst, and since it was
followed by a certain shyness at his own revelations I did not probe
deeper. But I thought to myself that this young man's spirit of romance
would die hard; I did not know whether it would ever die; for certainly
I had never seen that spirit working so powerfully in any man as a
positive incentive to achievement. And I tell you all this, because I
want you to understand how it was with him in the beginning.</p>
<p>But now the bay was in shadow below us; on the hill the solemn stillness
that comes over all trenches in the hour before dusk had already
descended, and away towards the cape the Indians were coming out to
kneel in prayer beside the alien sea.</p>
<p>The Romance of War was in full song. And scrambling down the cliff, we
bathed almost reverently in the Hellespont.</p>
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