<h2><SPAN name="VIII" id="VIII"></SPAN>VIII</h2>
<p>Soon after that we went down to the Somme. It was autumn then, and all
that desolate area of stark brown earth was wet and heavy and stinking.
Down the Ancre valley there were still some leaves in Thiepval Wood, and
the tall trees along the river were green and beautiful in the thin
October sun. But the centre of battle was coming up to that valley; in a
month the green was all gone, and there was nothing to see but the
endless uniform landscape of tumbled earth and splintered trunks, and
only the big shells raising vain waterspouts in the wide pools of the
Ancre gave any brightness to the tired eye.</p>
<p>But you know about all this. Every Englishman has a picture of the Somme
in his mind, and I will not try to enlarge it. We were glad, in a way,
to go there, not in the expectation of liking it, but on the principle
of Henry v.'s speech on the eve of St. Crispin. We saw ourselves in
hospitals, or drawing-rooms, or bars, saying, 'Yes, we were six months
on the Somme' (as indeed we were); we were going to be 'in the swing.'
But it was very vile. After Souchez it was real war again, and many
Souchez reputations wilted there and died. Yet with all its horror and
discomfort and fear that winter was more bearable than the Gallipoli
summer. For, at the worst, there was a little respite, spasms of repose.
You came back sometimes to billets, cold, bare, broken houses, but still
houses, where you might make a brave blaze of a wood fire and huddle
round it in a cheery circle with warm drinks and a song or two. And
sometimes there were estaminets and kind French women; or you went far
back to an old ch�teau, perched over the village, and there was bridge
and a piano and guests at Headquarters. Civilization was within reach,
and sometimes you had a glimpse of it—and made the most of it.</p>
<p>But we had a bad time, as every one did. After a stiff three weeks of
holding a nasty bit of the line, much digging of assembly trenches, and
carrying in the mud, we took our part in a great battle. I shall not
tell you about it (it is in the histories); but it was a black day for
the battalion. We lost 400 men and 20 officers, more than twice the
total British casualties at Omdurman. Hewett was killed and six other
officers, the Colonel and twelve more were wounded. Eustace showed
superb courage with a hideous wound. Harry and myself survived. Now I
had made a mistake about Harry. After that scouting episode at Souchez I
told myself that his 'nerve' was gone, that for a little anyhow he would
be no good in action. But soon after we got to the Somme he had
surprised me by doing a very good piece of work under fire. We were
digging a new 'jumping-off' line in No Man's Land, two hundred men at
work at once. They were spotted, the Boches dropped some Minnies about,
and there was the beginnings of a slight stampede—you know the sort of
thing—mythical orders to 'Retire' came along. All Harry did was to get
the men back and keep them together, and keep them digging: the
officer's job—but he did very well, and to me, as I say, surprisingly
well. The truth was, as I afterwards perceived, that only what I may
call his 'scouting' nerve was gone. It is a peculiar kind of
super-nerve, as I have tried to show, and losing it he had lost a very
valuable quality, but that was all at present.</p>
<p>Or I may put it another way. There is a theory held among soldiers,
which I will call the theory of the favourite fear. Every civilian has
his favourite fear, death by burning or by drowning, the fear of falling
from a great height, or being mangled in a machine—something which it
makes us shiver to think about. Among soldiers such special fears are
even more acute, though less openly confessed, but in the evenings men
will sometimes lie on the straw in the smoky barns and whisper the
things of which they are most afraid.</p>
<p>It is largely a matter of locality and circumstance. In Gallipoli, where
the Turks' rapid musketry fire was almost incredibly intense and their
snipers uncannily accurate, men would say that they hated bullets, but
shell-fire left them unmoved. The same men travelled to France and found
rifle fire practically extinct but gun-power increasingly terrible, and
rapidly reversed their opinions.</p>
<p>More often, however, there has been some particular experience which,
out of a multitude of shocks, has been able to make a lasting
impression, and leave behind it the favourite fear.</p>
<p>One man remembers the death of a friend caught by the gas without his
gas mask, and is possessed with the fear that he may one day forget his
own and perish in the same agony. And such is the effect on conduct of
these obsessions that this man will neglect the most ordinary
precautions against other dangers, will be reckless under heavy
shell-fire, but will not move an inch without his respirator.</p>
<p>With others it is the fear of being left to die between the lines,
caught on the wire and riddled by both sides, the fear of snipers, of
5-9's, even of whizz-bangs. One man feels safe in the open, but in the
strongest dug-out has a horror that it may be blown in upon him. There
is the fear of the empty trench, where, like a child on the dark
staircase, another man is convinced that there are enemies lying behind
the parapet ready to leap upon him; and there is the horror of being
killed on the way down from the line after a relief.</p>
<p>But most to be pitied of all the men I have known, was one who had
served at Gallipoli in the early days; few men then could have an
orderly burial in a recognized ground, but often the stretcher-bearers
buried them hastily where they could in and about the lines. This man's
fear was that one day a sniper would get him in the head; that unskilled
companions would pronounce his death sentence, and that he would wake
up, perhaps within a few yards of his own trench, and know that he was
buried but not dead.</p>
<p>That was how it was with Harry. The one thing he could not face at
present was crawling lonely in the dark with the thought of that tornado
of bullets in his head. Nothing else frightened him—now—more than it
frightened the rest of us, though, God knows, that was enough.</p>
<p>So that he did quite well in this battle in a sound, undistinguished
way. He commanded a platoon for the occasion, and took them through the
worst part of the show without exceptional losses; and he got as far as
any of the regiment got. He held out there for two days under very heavy
shell-fire, with a mixed lot of men from several battalions, and a
couple of strange officers. In the evening of the second day we were to
be relieved, and being now in command I sent him down with a runner to
Brigade Headquarters to fix up a few points about our position and the
relief. There was a terrific barrage to pass, but both of them got
through. When his business was done he started back to rejoin the
battalion. By that time it was about eleven o'clock at night, and the
relief was just beginning; there was no reason why he should have come
back at all; indeed, the Brigade Major told him he had better not, had
better wait there in the warm dug-out, and join us as we passed down.
Now when a man has been through a two days' battle of this kind, has had
no sleep and hardly any food for two days, and finished up with a
two-mile trudge over a stony wilderness of shell-holes, through a
vicious barrage of heavy shells; when after all this he finds himself,
worn and exhausted so that he can hardly stand, but safe and comfortable
in a deep dug-out where there are friendly lights and the soothing
voices of calm men; and when he has the choice of staying there, the
right side of the barrage, till it is time to go out to rest, or of
going back through that same barrage, staggering into the same
shell-holes, with the immediate prospect <i>of doing it all over again
with men to look after as well as himself</i>—well, the temptation is
almost irresistible. But Harry did resist it—I can't tell you how—and
he started back. The barrage was worse than ever, all down the valley
road, and, apparently, when they came near the most dangerous part,
Harry's runner was hit by a big splinter and blown twenty yards. There
were no stretchers unoccupied for five miles, and it was evident that
the boy—he was only a kid—would die in a little time. He knew it
himself, but he was very frightened in that hideous valley where the
shells still fell, and he begged Harry not to leave him. And so we came
upon them as we stumbled down, thanking our stars we were through the
worst of it, Harry and the runner crouched together in a shell-hole,
with the heart of the barrage blazing and roaring sixty yards off, and
stray shells all round.</p>
<p>From a military or, indeed, a common-sense point of view, it was a
futile performance—the needless risk of a valuable officer's life.</p>
<p>They do not give decorations for that kind of thing. But I was glad he
had stayed with that young runner.</p>
<p>And I only tell you this to show you how wrong I was, and how much stuff
he had in him still.</p>
<h3>II</h3>
<p>And now Colonel Philpott comes into the story. I wish to God he had kept
out of it altogether. He was one of a class of officer with which our
division was specially afflicted—at least we believed so, if only for
the credit of the British Army; for if they were typical of the Old Army
I do not know how we came out of 1914 with as much honour as we did. But
I am happy to think they were not. We called them the Old Duds, and we
believed that for some forgotten sin of ours, or because of a certain
strong 'Temporary' spirit we had, they were dumped upon us by way of
penalty. We had peculiarly few Regular officers, and so perhaps were
inclined to be extra critical of these gentlemen. Anyhow, at one time
they came in swarms, lazy, stupid, ignorant men, with many years of
service—retired, reserve, or what not—but no discoverable distinction
either in intellect, or character, or action. And when they had told us
about Simla and all the injustices they had suffered in the matter of
promotion or pay, they ousted some young and vigorous Temporary fellow
who at least knew something of fighting, if there were stray passages in
the King's Regulations which he did not know by heart; and in about a
week their commands were discontented and slack. In about two months
they were evacuated sick (for they had no 'guts,' most of them), and
that was the finest moment of their careers—for them and for us.</p>
<p>Lt.-Col. (Tem'y) W. K. Philpott (Substantive Captain after God knows how
many years) out-dudded them all, though, to give him his due, he had
more staying power than most of them. He took over the battalion when
Colonel Roberts was wounded, and the contrast was painfully acute. I was
his adjutant for twelve months in all, and an adjutant knows most things
about his C.O. He was a short, stoutish fellow, with beady eyes and an
unsuccessful moustache, slightly grey, like a stubble-field at dawn. He
had all the exaggerated respect for authority and his superiors of the
old-school Regular, with none of its sincerity; for while he said things
about the Brigadier which no colonel should say before a junior officer,
he positively cringed when they met. And though he bullied defaulters,
and blustered about his independence before juniors, there was no
superior military goose to whom he would have said the most diffident
'Bo.' He was lazy beyond words, physically and mentally, but to see him
double out of the mess when a general visited the village was an
education. It made one want to vomit....</p>
<p>Then, of course, he believed very strongly in 'The Book,' not Holy Writ,
but all that mass of small red publications which expound the whole art
of being a soldier in a style calculated to invest with mystery the most
obvious truths. 'It says it in The Book' was his great gambit—and a
good one too. Yet he betrayed the most astonishing ignorance of The
Book. Any second lieutenant could have turned him inside out in two
minutes on Field Service Regulations, and just where you expected him to
be really efficient and knowledgeable, the conduct of trials, and
Military Law, and so on, he made the most hideous elementary howlers.</p>
<p>But ignorance is easily forgivable if a man will work, if a man will
learn. But he would neither. He left everything to somebody else, the
second-in-command, the adjutant, the orderly-room. He would not say what
he wanted (he very seldom knew), and when in despair you made out his
orders for him he invariably disagreed; when he disagreed he was as
obstinate as a mule, without being so clever. When he did agree it took
half an hour to explain the simplest arrangement. If you asked him to
sign some correspondence for the Brigade, he was too lazy and told you
to sign it yourself; and when you did that he apologized to the Brigade
for the irregularities of his adjutant—'a Temporary fellow, you know.'
For he had an ill-concealed contempt for all Temporaries; and that was
perhaps one reason why we disliked him so much. He would not believe
that a young officer, who had not spent twenty years drinking in
mess-rooms, could have any military value whatever. Moreover, it annoyed
him intensely (and here he had my sympathy) to see such men enjoying the
same pay or rank as he had enjoyed during the almost apocryphal period
of his captaincy. And having himself learned practically nothing during
that long lotus-time, it was inconceivable to him that any man, however
vigorous or intelligent, could have learned anything in two years of
war.</p>
<p>Now let me repeat that I do not believe him to be typical of the Old
Army, I know he was not (thank God); but this is a history of what
happened to Harry, and Colonel Philpott was one of the things which
happened—very forcibly. So I give him to you as we found him, and since
he may be alive I may say that his name is fictitious, though there are,
unhappily, so many of him alive that I have no fears that he will
recognize himself. He would not be the same man if he did.</p>
<p>We went out for a fortnight's rest after that battle, and Harry had
trouble with him almost at once. He had amused and irritated Harry from
the first—the Old Duds always did—for his respect for authority was
very civilian and youthful in character; he took a man for what he was,
and if he decided he was good stood by him loyally for ever after; if he
did not he was severe, not to say intolerant, and regrettably lacking in
that veneration for the old and incapable which is the soul of military
discipline.</p>
<p>Philpott's arrogance on the subject of Temporaries annoyed him
intensely; it annoyed us all, and this I think it was that made him say
a very unfortunate thing. He was up before the C.O. with some trifling
request or other (I forget what), and somehow the question of his
seniority and service came up. Incidentally, Harry remarked, quite
mildly, that he believed he was nearly due for promotion. Colonel
Philpott gave as close an imitation of a lively man as I ever saw him
achieve; he nearly had a fit. I forget all he said—he thundered for a
long time, banging his fist on the King's Regulations, and knocking
everything off the rickety table—but this was the climax:</p>
<p>'Promotion, by God! and how old are you, young man? and how much service
have you seen? Let me tell you this, Master Penrose, when I was your age
I hadn't begun to <i>think</i> about promotion, and I did fifteen years as a
captain—fifteen solid years!'</p>
<p>'And I don't wonder,' said Harry.</p>
<p>It was very unfortunate.</p>
<h3>III</h3>
<p>When we went back to the line, Harry was detailed for many
working-parties; and some of them, particularly the first, were very
nasty. The days of comfortable walking in communication trenches were
over. We were in captured ground churned up by our own fire, and all
communication with the front was over the open, over the shell-holes.
Harry was told off to take a ration-party, carrying rations up to the
battalion in the line, a hundred men. These were bad jobs to do. It
meant three-quarters of a mile along an uphill road, heavily shelled;
then there was a mile over the shell-hole country, where there were no
landmarks or duckboards, or anything to guide you. For a single man in
daylight, with a map, navigation was difficult enough in this uniform
wilderness until you had been over it a time or two; to go over it for
the first time, in the dark, with a hundred men carrying heavy loads,
was the kind of thing that makes men transfer to the Flying Corps. Harry
got past the road with the loss of three men only; there, at any rate,
you went straight ahead, however slowly. But when he left the road, his
real troubles began. It was pitch dark and drizzling, and the way was
still uphill. With those unhappy carrying-parties, where three-fourths
of the men carried two heavy sacks of bread and tinned meat and other
food, and the rest two petrol tins of water, or a jar of rum, or rifle
oil, or whale oil, besides a rifle, and a bandolier, and two
respirators, and a great-coat—you must move with exquisite slowness, or
you will lose your whole party in a hundred yards. And even when you are
just putting one foot in front of another, moving so slowly that it
maddens you, there are halts and hitches every few yards: a man misses
his footing and slides down into a crater with his awful load; the hole
is full of foul green water, and he must be hauled out quickly lest he
drown. Half-way down the line a man halts to ease his load, or shift his
rifle, or scratch his nose; when he goes on he can see no one ahead of
him, and the cry 'Not in touch' comes sullenly up to the front. Or you
cross the path of another party, burdened as yours. In the dark, or
against the flaring skyline, they look like yours, bent, murky shapes
with bumps upon them, and some of your men trail off with the other
party. And though you pity your men more than yourself, it is difficult
sometimes to be gentle with them, difficult not to yield to the intense
exasperation of it all, and curse foolishly....</p>
<p>But Harry was good with his men, and they stumbled on, slipping,
muttering, with a dull ache at the shoulders and a dogged rage in their
hearts. He was trying to steer by the compass, and he was aiming for a
point given him on the map, the rendezvous for the party he was to meet.
This point was the junction of three trenches, but as all trenches
thereabouts had been so blotted out as to be almost indistinguishable
from casual shell-holes, it was not so good a rendezvous as it had
seemed to the Brigade. However, Harry managed to find it, or believed
that he had found it—for in that murk and blackness nothing was
certain; if he had found it, the other party had not, for there was no
one there. They might be late, they might be lost, they might be waiting
elsewhere. So Harry sent out a scout or two and waited, while the men
lay down in the muddy ruins of the trench and dozed unhappily. And while
they waited, the Boche, who had been flinging big shells about at random
since dusk, took it into his head to plaster these old trenches with
5-9's. Harry ran, or floundered along the line, telling the men to lie
close where they were. There was indeed nothing else to do, but it gave
the men confidence, and none of them melted away. As he ran, a big one
burst very near and knocked him flat, but he was untouched; it is
marvellous how local the effect of H.E. can be. For about ten minutes
they had a bad time, and then it ceased, suddenly.</p>
<p>And now was one of those crucial moments which distinguish a good
officer from a bad, or even an ordinary officer. It was easy to say,
'Here I am at the rendezvous' (by this time Harry had got his bearings a
little by the lights, and knew he was in the right spot) 'with these
something rations; the men are done and a bit shaken; so am I; the other
people haven't turned up; if they want their rations they can damned
well come here and get them; I've done my part, and I'm going home.' But
a real good officer, with a conscience and an imagination, would say:
'Yes—but I've been sent up here to get these rations to the men in the
line; my men will have a rest to-morrow, and some sleep, and some good
food; the men in the line now will still be in the line, with no sleep,
and little rest, and if these rations are left here in the mud and not
found before dawn, they'll have no food either; and whatever other
people may do or not do, it's up to me to get these rations up there
somehow, if we have to walk all night and carry them right up to the
Front Line ourselves, and I'm not going home till I've done it.' I don't
know, but I think that that's the sort of thing Harry said to himself;
and anyhow after the row with Philpott he was particularly anxious to
make good. So he got his men out and told them about it all, and they
floundered on. It was raining hard now, with a bitter wind when they
passed the crest of the hill. Harry had a vague idea of the direction of
the line so long as they were on the slope; but on the flat, when they
had dodged round a few hundred shell-holes, halting and going on and
halting again, all sense of direction departed, and very soon they were
hopelessly lost. The flares were no good, for the line curved, and there
seemed to be lights all around, going up mistily through the rain in a
wide circle. Once you were properly lost the compass was useless, for
you might be in the Boche lines, you might be anywhere.... At such
moments a kind of mad, desperate self-pity, born of misery and weariness
and rage, takes hold of the infantryman, and if he carries a load, he is
truly ready to fall down and sleep where he is—or die. And in the
wretched youth in charge there is a sense of impotence and
responsibility that makes his stomach sink within him. Some of the men
began to growl a little, but Harry held on despairingly. And then by
God's grace they ran into another party, a N.C.O. and a few men; these
were the party—or some of them—that should have met them at the
rendezvous; they too had been lost and were now wandering back to the
line. Well, Harry handed over the rations and turned home, well pleased
with himself. He was too sick of the whole affair, and it was too dark
and beastly to think of getting a receipt. It was a pity; for while he
trudged home, the N.C.O., as we afterwards heard, was making a mess of
the whole business. Whether he had not enough men, or perhaps lost them,
or miscalculated the amount of rations or what, is not clear, but half
of all that precious food was found lying in the mud at noon the next
day when it was too late, and half the battalion in the line went very
short. Then the Colonel rang up Philpott, and complained bitterly about
the conduct of the officer in charge of our ration-party. Philpott sent
for Harry and accused him hotly of dumping the rations carelessly
anywhere, of not finishing his job.</p>
<p>Harry gave his account of the affair quite simply, without enlarging on
the bad time he had had, though that was clear enough to a man with any
knowledge. <i>But he could not show a receipt.</i> Philpott was the kind of
man who valued receipts more than righteousness. He refused to believe
Harry's straightforward tale, cursed him for a lazy swine, and sent him
to apologize to the Colonel of the Blanks. That officer did listen to
Harry's story, believed it, and apologized to <i>him</i>. Harry was a little
soothed, but from that day I know there was a great bitterness in his
heart. For he had done a difficult job very well, and had come back
justly proud of himself and his men. And to have the work wasted by a
bungling N.C.O., and his word doubted by a Philpott....</p>
<p>And that I may call the beginning of the second stage.</p>
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