<h4>IV</h4><h4><i>Where Is She?</i></h4>
<p>One fine summer day, a month after these her first adventures, during which time
she had been very carefully watched, the princess was lying on the bed in the queen's
own chamber, fast asleep. One of the windows was open, for it was noon, and the day
was so sultry that the little girl was wrapped in nothing less ethereal than slumber
itself. The queen came into the room, and not observing that the baby was on the bed,
opened another window. A frolicsome fairy wind, which had been watching for a chance
of mischief, rushed in at the one window, and taking its way over the bed where the
child was lying, caught her up, and rolling and floating her along like a piece of
flue, or a dandelion seed, carried her with it through the opposite window, and away.
The queen went down-stairs, quite ignorant of the loss she had herself occasioned.
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<p>When the nurse returned, she supposed that her Majesty had carried her off, and,
dreading a scolding, delayed making inquiry about her. But hearing nothing, she grew
uneasy, and went at length to the queen's boudoir, where she found her Majesty.</p>
<p>"Please, your Majesty, shall I take the baby?" said she.</p>
<p>"Where is she?" asked the queen.</p>
<p>"Please forgive me. I know it was wrong."</p>
<p>"What do you mean?" said the queen, looking grave.</p>
<p>"Oh! don't frighten me, your Majesty!" exclaimed the nurse, clasping her
hands.</p>
<p>The queen saw that something was amiss, and fell down in a faint. The nurse rushed
about the palace, screaming, "My baby! my baby!"</p>
<p>Every one ran to the queen's room. But the queen could give no orders. They soon
found out, however, that the princess was missing, and in a moment the palace was
like a beehive in a garden; and in one minute more the queen was brought to herself
by a great shout and a clapping of hands. They had found the princess fast asleep
under a rose-bush, to which the elfish little wind-puff had carried her, finishing
its mischief by shaking a shower of red rose-leaves all over the little white
sleeper. Startled by the noise the servants made, she woke, and, furious with glee,
scattered the rose-leaves in all directions, like a shower of spray in the sunset.
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<p>She was watched more carefully after this, no doubt; yet it would be endless to
relate all the odd incidents resulting from this peculiarity of the young princess.
But there never was a baby in a house, not to say a palace, that kept the household
in such constant good humour, at least below-stairs. If it was not easy for her
nurses to hold her, at least she made neither their arms nor their hearts ache. And
she was so nice to play at ball with! There was positively no danger of letting her
fall. They might throw her down, or knock her down, or push her down, but they
couldn't <i>let</i> her down. It is true, they might let her fly into the fire or the
coal-hole, or through the window; but none of these accidents had happened as yet. If
you heard peals of laughter resounding from some unknown region, you might be sure
enough of the cause. Going down into the kitchen, or <i>the room</i>, you would find
Jane and Thomas, and Robert and Susan, all and sum, playing at ball with the little
princess. She was the ball herself, and did not enjoy it the less for that. Away she
went, flying from one to another, screeching with laughter. And the servants loved
the ball itself better even than the game. But they had to take some care how they
threw her, for if she received an upward direction, she would never come down again
without being fetched.<!-- Page 317 --><SPAN name="Page_317" id="Page_317"></SPAN></p>
<h4>V</h4>
<h4><i>What Is to Be Done?</i></h4>
<p>But above-stairs it was different. One day, for instance, after breakfast, the
king went into his counting-house, and counted out his money.</p>
<p>The operation gave him no pleasure.</p>
<p>"To think," said he to himself, "that every one of these gold sovereigns weighs a
quarter of an ounce, and my real, live, flesh-and-blood princess weighs nothing at
all!"</p>
<p>And he hated his gold sovereigns, as they lay with a broad smile of
self-satisfaction all over their yellow faces.</p>
<p>The queen was in the parlour, eating bread and honey. But at the second mouthful
she burst out crying, and could not swallow it. The king heard her sobbing. Glad of
anybody, but especially of his queen, to quarrel with, he clashed his gold sovereigns
into his money-box, clapped his crown on his head, and rushed into the parlour.</p>
<p>"What is all this about?" exclaimed he. "What are you crying for, queen?"</p>
<p>"I can't eat it," said the queen, looking ruefully at the honey-pot.</p>
<p>"No wonder!" retorted the king. "You've just eaten your breakfast—two turkey
eggs, and three anchovies."<!-- Page 318 --><SPAN name="Page_318" id="Page_318"></SPAN></p>
<p>"Oh, that's not it!" sobbed her Majesty. "It's my child, my child!"</p>
<p>"Well, what's the matter with your child? She's neither up the chimney nor down
the draw-well. Just hear her laughing."</p>
<p>Yet the king could not help a sigh, which he tried to turn into a cough,
saying:</p>
<p>"It is a good thing to be light-hearted, I am sure, whether she be ours or
not."</p>
<p>"It is a bad thing to be light-headed," answered the queen, looking with prophetic
soul far into the future.</p>
<p>"'T is a good thing to be light-handed," said the king.</p>
<p>"'T is a bad thing to be light-fingered," answered the queen.</p>
<p>"'T is a good thing to be light-footed," said the king.</p>
<p>"'T is a bad thing—" began the queen; but the king interrupted her.</p>
<p>"In fact," said he, with the tone of one who concludes an argument in which he has
had only imaginary opponents, and in which, therefore, he has come off
triumphant—"in fact, it is a good thing altogether to be light-bodied."</p>
<p>"But it is a bad thing altogether to be light-minded," retorted the queen, who was
beginning to lose her temper.</p>
<p>This last answer quite discomfited his Majesty, who turned on his heel, and betook
himself to his counting-house again. But he was not half-way towards it, when the
voice of his queen overtook him.<!-- Page 319 --><SPAN name="Page_319" id="Page_319"></SPAN></p>
<p>"And it's a bad thing to be light-haired," screamed she, determined to have more
last words, now that her spirit was roused.</p>
<p>The queen's hair was black as night; and the king's had been, and his daughter's
was, golden as morning. But it was not this reflection on his hair that arrested him;
it was the double use of the word <i>light</i>. For the king hated all witticisms,
and punning especially. And besides, he could not tell whether the queen meant
light-<i>haired</i> or light-<i>heired</i>; for why might she not aspirate her vowels
when she was exasperated herself?</p>
<p>He turned upon his other heel, and rejoined her. She looked angry still, because
she knew that she was guilty, or, what was much the same, knew that he thought
so.</p>
<p>"My dear queen," said he, "duplicity of any sort is exceedingly objectionable
between married people of any rank, not to say kings and queens; and the most
objectionable form duplicity can assume is that of punning."</p>
<p>"There!" said the queen, "I never made a jest, but I broke it in the making. I am
the most unfortunate woman in the world!"</p>
<p>She looked so rueful that the king took her in his arms; and they sat down to
consult.</p>
<p>"Can you bear this?" said the king.</p>
<p>"No, I can't," said the queen.</p>
<p>"Well, what's to be done?" said the king.</p>
<p>"I'm sure I don't know," said the queen. "But might you not try an apology?"
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<p>"To my old sister, I suppose you mean?" said the king.</p>
<p>"Yes," said the queen.</p>
<p>"Well, I don't mind," said the king.</p>
<p>So he went the next morning to the house of the princess, and, making a very
humble apology, begged her to undo the spell. But the princess declared, with a grave
face, that she knew nothing at all about it. Her eyes, however, shone pink, which was
a sign that she was happy. She advised the king and queen to have patience, and to
mend their ways. The king returned disconsolate. The queen tried to comfort him.</p>
<p>"We will wait till she is older. She may then be able to suggest something
herself. She will know at least how she feels, and explain things to us."</p>
<p>"But what if she should marry?" exclaimed the king, in sudden consternation at the
idea.</p>
<p>"Well, what of that?" rejoined the queen.</p>
<p>"Just think! If she were to have children! In the course of a hundred years the
air might be as full of floating children as of gossamers in autumn."</p>
<p>"That is no business of ours," replied the queen. "Besides, by that time they will
have learned to take care of themselves."</p>
<p>A sigh was the king's only answer.</p>
<p>He would have consulted the court physicians; but he was afraid they would try
experiments upon her.</p>
<h4>VI<!-- Page 321 --><SPAN name="Page_321" id="Page_321"></SPAN></h4>
<h4><i>She Laughs Too Much</i></h4>
<p>Meantime, notwithstanding awkward occurrences, and griefs that she brought upon
her parents, the little princess laughed and grew—not fat, but plump and tall.
She reached the age of seventeen, without having fallen into any worse scrape than a
chimney; by rescuing her from which, a little bird-nesting urchin got fame and a
black face. Nor, thoughtless as she was, had she committed anything worse than
laughter at everybody and everything that came in her way. When she was told, for the
sake of experiment, that General Clanrunfort was cut to pieces with all his troops,
she laughed; when she heard that the enemy was on his way to besiege her father's
capital, she laughed hugely; but when she was told that the city would certainly be
abandoned to the mercy of the enemy's soldiery—why, then she laughed
immoderately. She never could be brought to see the serious side of anything. When
her mother cried, she said:</p>
<p>"What queer faces mamma makes! And she squeezes water out of her cheeks! Funny
mamma!"</p>
<p>And when her papa stormed at her, she laughed, and danced round and round him,
clapping her hands, and crying:</p>
<p>"Do it again, papa. Do it again! It's such fun! Dear, funny papa!"</p>
<p>And if he tried to catch her, she glided from him in an instant, not in the least
afraid of him, but thinking it part of the game not to be caught. With one push of
her foot, she would be floating in the air above his head; or she would go dancing
backwards and forwards and sideways, like a great butterfly. It happened several
times, when her father and mother were holding a consultation about her in private,
that they were interrupted by vainly repressed outbursts of laughter over their
heads; and looking up with indignation, saw her floating at full length in the air
above them, whence she regarded them with the most comical appreciation of the
position.<!-- Page 322 --><SPAN name="Page_322" id="Page_322"></SPAN></p>
<p>One day an awkward accident happened. The princess had come out upon the lawn with
one of her attendants, who held her by the hand. Spying her father at the other side
of the lawn, she snatched her hand from the maid's, and sped across to him. Now when
she wanted to run alone, her custom was to catch up a stone in each hand, so that she
might come down again after a bound. Whatever she wore as part of her attire had no
effect in this way. Even gold, when it thus became as it were a part of herself, lost
all its weight for the time. But whatever she only held in her hands retained its
downward tendency. On this occasion she could see nothing to catch up but a huge
toad, that was walking across the lawn as if he had a hundred years to do it in. Not
knowing what disgust meant, for this was one of her peculiarities, she snatched up
the toad and bounded away. She had almost reached her father, and he was holding out
his arms to receive her, and take from her lips the kiss which hovered on them like a
butterfly on a rosebud, when a puff of wind blew her aside into the arms of a young
page, who had just been receiving a message from his Majesty. Now it was no great
peculiarity in the princess that, once she was set agoing, it always cost her time
and trouble to check herself. On this occasion there was no time. She <i>must</i>
kiss—and she kissed the page. She did not mind it much; for she had no shyness
in her composition; and she knew, besides, that she could not help it. So she only
laughed, like a musical box. The poor page fared the worst. For the princess, trying
to correct the unfortunate tendency of the kiss, put out her hands to keep off the
page; so that, along with the kiss, he received, on the other cheek, a slap with the
huge black toad, which she poked right into his eye. He tried to laugh, too, but the
attempt resulted in such an odd contortion of countenance, as showed that there was
no danger of his pluming himself on the kiss. As for the king, his dignity was
greatly hurt, and he did not speak to the page for a whole month.<!-- Page 323 --><SPAN name="Page_323" id="Page_323"></SPAN></p>
<p>I may here remark that it was very amusing to see her run, if her mode of
progression could properly be called running. For first she would make a bound; then,
having alighted, she would run a few steps, and make another bound. Sometimes she
would fancy she had reached the ground before she actually had, and her feet would go
backwards and forwards, running upon nothing at all, like those of a chicken on its
back. Then she would laugh like the very spirit of fun; only in her laugh there was
something missing. What it was, I find myself unable to describe. I think it was a
certain tone, depending upon the possibility of sorrow—<i>morbidezza</i>,
perhaps. She never smiled.<!-- Page 324 --><SPAN name="Page_324" id="Page_324"></SPAN></p>
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