<h2><SPAN name="RILEYS" id="RILEYS"></SPAN>THE WARS OF THE RILEYS</h2>
<p>It was the night before Washington’s Birthday that Mr. Riley broke loose.
They will speak of it long in the Windy City as “the night of the big
storm,” and with good right—it was “that suddint and fierce,” just like
Mr. Riley himself in his berserker moods. Mr. Riley was one of the
enlivening problems of “the Bureau” in the region back of the stock-yards
that kept it from being dulled by the routine of looking after the poor.
He was more: he rose to the dignity of a “cause” at uncertain intervals
when the cost of living, underpay and overtime, sickness and death,
overpopulation, and all the other well-worn<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_17" id="Page_17">[Pg 17]</SPAN></span> props of poverty retired to
the wings and left the stage to Mr. Riley rampant, sufficient for the time
and as informing as a whole course at the School of Philanthropy. In
between, Mr. Riley was a capable meat-cutter earning good wages, who
wouldn’t have done a neighbor out of a cent that was his due, a robust
citizen with more than his share of good looks, a devoted husband and a
doting father, inseparable when at home from little Mike, whose baby trick
of squaring off and offering to “bust his father’s face” was the pride of
the block.</p>
<p>“Will yez look at de kid? Ain’t he a foine one?” shouted Mr. Riley, with
peals of laughter; and the men smoking their pipes at the fence set the
youngster on with admiring taunts. Mike was just turned three. His great
stunt, when his father<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_18" id="Page_18">[Pg 18]</SPAN></span> was not at hand, was to fall off everything in
sight. Daily alarms brought from the relief party of hurrying mothers the
unvarying cry, “Who’s got hurted? Is it Mike?” But only Mike’s feelings
were hurt. Doleful howls, as he hove in sight, convoyed and comforted by
Kate, aged seven, gave abundant proof that in wind and limb he was all
that could be desired.</p>
<p>This was Mr. Riley in his hours of ease and domesticity. Mr. Riley rampant
was a very different person. His arrival was invariably heralded by the
smashing of the top of the kitchen stove, followed by the summary ejection
of the once beloved family, helter-skelter, from the tenement. Three times
the Bureau had been at the expense of having the stove top mended to keep
the little Rileys from starving and<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_19" id="Page_19">[Pg 19]</SPAN></span> freezing at once, and it was looking
forward with concern to the meat-cutter’s next encounter with his
grievance. For there was a psychological reason for the manner of his
outbreaks. The Rileys had once had a boarder, when Kate was a baby. He
happened to be Mrs. Riley’s brother, and he left, presuming on the
kinship, without paying his board. As long as the meat-cutter was sober he
remembered only the pleasant comradeship with his brother-in-law, and
extended the hospitality of a neighborly fireside to his wife’s relations.
But no sooner had he taken a drink or two than the old grievance loomed
large, and grew, as he went on, into a capital injury, to be avenged upon
all and everything that in any way recalled the monstrous wrong of his
life. That the cooking-stove should come<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_20" id="Page_20">[Pg 20]</SPAN></span> first was natural, from his
point of view. Upon it had been prepared the felonious meals, by it he had
smoked the pipe of peace with the false friend. The crash in the kitchen
had become the unvarying signal for the hasty exit of the rest of the
family and the organizing of Kate into a scouting party to keep Mrs. Riley
and the Bureau informed about the progress of events in the house where
the meat-cutter raged alone.</p>
<p>Mrs. Riley was a loyal, if not always a patient, woman—who can blame
her?—and accepted the situation as part of the marital compact, clearly
comprehended, perhaps foreshadowed, in her vow to cling to her husband
“for better for worse,” and therefore not to be questioned. In times of
peace she remembered not the days of storm and stress. Once indeed,<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_21" id="Page_21">[Pg 21]</SPAN></span> when
her best gingham had been sacrificed to the furies of war, she had
considered whether the indefinite multiplication of the tribe of Riley
were in the long run desirable, and had put it to the young woman from the
Bureau, who was superintending the repair of the stove top, this way: “I
am thinking, Miss Kane, if I will live with Mr. Riley any longer; would
you?”—to the blushing confusion of that representative of the social
order. However, that crisis passed. Mr. Riley took the pledge for the
fourth or fifth time, and the next day appeared at the office,
volunteering to assign himself and his earnings to the Bureau for the
benefit of his wife and his creditors, reserving only enough for luncheons
and tobacco, but nothing for drinks. The Bureau took an hour off to<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_22" id="Page_22">[Pg 22]</SPAN></span>
recover from the shock. If it had misgivings, it refused to listen to
them. The world had turned a corner in the city by the lake and was on the
home-stretch: Mr. Riley had reformed.</p>
<p>And, in truth, so it seemed. For once he was as good as his word.
Christmas passed, and the manifold temptations of New Year, with Mike and
his father still chums. Kate was improving the chance to profit by the
school-learning so fatally interrupted in other days. Seventeen weeks went
by with Mr. Riley’s wages paid in at the Bureau every Saturday; the grocer
smiled a fat welcome to the Riley children, the clock man and the spring
man and the other installment collectors had ceased to be importunate.
Mrs. Riley was having blissful visions of a new spring hat. Life back<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_23" id="Page_23">[Pg 23]</SPAN></span> of
the stock-yards was in a way of becoming ordinary and slow, when the fatal
twenty-second of February hove in sight.</p>
<p>The night before, Mr. Riley, quitting work, met a friend at the gate, who,
pitying his penniless state, informed him that “there was the price of a
drink at the corner” for him, meaning at Quinlan’s saloon. Now this was
prodding the meat-cutter in a tender spot. He hated waste as much as his
employers, who proverbially exploited all of the pig but the squeal. He
didn’t want the drink, but to have it waiting there with no one to come
for it was wicked waste. It was his clear duty to save it, and he did.
Among those drinking at the bar were some of his fellow-workmen, who stood
treat. That called for a return, and Riley’s credit was good. It was late<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_24" id="Page_24">[Pg 24]</SPAN></span>
before the party broke up; it was 3 <span class="smcaplc">A.M.</span> when the meat-cutter burst into
the tenement, roaring drunk, clamoring for the lives of brothers-in-law in
general and that of his own in particular, and smashed the stove lids with
crash after crash that aroused the slumbering household with a jerk.</p>
<p>For once it was caught napping. The long peace had bred a fatal sense of
security. Kate was off scouting duty and Mrs. Riley had her hands full
with Pat, Bridget, and the baby all having measles at once—too full to
take warning from her husband’s suspicious absence at bedtime. Roused in
the middle of the night to the defense of her brood, she fought gallantly,
but without hope. The battle was bloody and brief. Beaten and bruised, she
gathered up her young and fled into the blinding storm to<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_25" id="Page_25">[Pg 25]</SPAN></span> the house of a
pitying neighbor, who took them in, measles and all, to snuggle up with
his own while he mounted guard on the doorstep against any pursuing enemy.
But the meat-cutter merely slammed the door upon his evicted family. He
spent the rest of the night smashing the reminders of his brother-in-law’s
hated kin. Kate, reconnoitering at daybreak, brought back word that he was
raging around the house with three other drunken men. The opening of the
Bureau found her encamped on the doorstep with a demand that help come
quickly—the worst had happened. “Has little Mike broken his neck?” they
asked in breathless chorus. “Worse nor that,” she panted; “do be comin’,
Miss Kane!”</p>
<p>“Oh, what is it? Are any of the children dead?”</p>
<p><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_26" id="Page_26">[Pg 26]</SPAN></span>“Worse nor that; Mr. Riley has broke loose!” Kate always spoke of her
father in his tantrums as Mister, as if he were a doubtful acquaintance.
Her story of the night’s doings was so lurid that the intimacy of many a
<i>post-bellum</i> remorse felt unequal to the strain, and Miss Kane
commandeered a policeman on the way to the house. The meat-cutter received
her with elaborate inebriate courtesy, loftily ignoring the officer.</p>
<p>“Who is he?” he asked, aside.</p>
<p>She tried evasion. “A friend of mine I met.” She was sorry immediately.</p>
<p>“Is he that? Then he is no friend of mine. Oh, Miss Kane,” he grieved,
“why did you go for to get him? You know I’d have protected you!” This
with an indignant scowl at his fellow-marauders, who<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_27" id="Page_27">[Pg 27]</SPAN></span> were furtively
edging toward the door. An inquest of the house showed the devastation of
war. The kitchen was a wreck; the bedroom furniture smashed; the Morris
chair in which the family of young Rileys had reveled in the measles lay
in splinters. “It was so hot here last night,” suggested the meat-cutter,
gravely, “it must have fell to pieces.” In the course of the inspection
Mrs. Riley appeared, keeping close to the policeman, wrathful and fearful
at once, with a wondrous black eye. Her husband regarded it with expert
interest and ventured the reflection that it was a shame, and she the
fine-looking woman that she was! At that Mrs. Riley edged away toward her
husband and eyed the bluecoat with hostile looks.</p>
<p>Between crying and laughing, “the<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_28" id="Page_28">[Pg 28]</SPAN></span> Bureau lady” dismissed the policeman
and officiated at the reunion of the family on condition that the
meat-cutter appear at the office and get the dressing down which he so
richly deserved, which he did. But his dignity had been offended by the
brass buttons, and he insisted upon its being administered by one of his
own sex.</p>
<p>“I like her,” he explained, indicating Miss Kane with reproving
forefinger, “but she’s gone back on me.” Another grievance had been added
to that of the unpaid board.</p>
<p>The peace that was made lasted just ten days, when Mr. Riley broke loose
once more, and this time he was brought into court. The whole Bureau went
along to tell the story of the compact and the manner of its breaking. Mr.
Riley listened attentively to the recital of the black record.</p>
<p><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_29" id="Page_29">[Pg 29]</SPAN></span>“What have you to say to this?” scowled the Judge. The prisoner nodded.</p>
<p>“It is all true what the lady says, your Honor; she put it fair.”</p>
<p>“I have a good mind to send you to Bridewell to break stone.”</p>
<p>“Don’t do that, Judge, and lose me job. I want to be wid me family.” Mrs.
Riley looked imploringly at the bench. His Honor’s glance took in her face
with the family group.</p>
<p>“Looks like it,” he mused; but in the end he agreed to hand him over to
the Bureau for one more trial, first administering the pledge in open
court. Mr. Riley took the oath with great solemnity and entire good faith,
kissed the Bible with a smack, reached up a large red fist for the Judge
to shake, and the clerk. Then he<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_30" id="Page_30">[Pg 30]</SPAN></span> pledged lasting friendship to the whole
Bureau, including Miss Kane, whom he generously forgave the wrong she had
done him, presented little Mike to the Court as “de foinest kid in de
ward,” took the gurgling baby from Mrs. Riley and gallantly gave her his
arm. Leaning fondly upon it, a little lame and sore yet from the fight and
with one eye in deep mourning, she turned a proudly hopeful look upon her
husband, like a rainbow spanning a black departing cloud. And thus, with
fleet-footed Kate in the van proclaiming the peace, and three prattling
children clinging to their hands and clothes, they passed out into life to
begin it anew. And bench and Bureau, with sudden emotion, hopelessly
irrational and altogether hopeful and good, cheered them on their way.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<hr style="width: 50%;" />
<p><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_31" id="Page_31">[Pg 31]</SPAN></span></p>
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