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<h2> Where I Lived, and What I Lived For </h2>
<p>At a certain season of our life we are accustomed to consider every spot
as the possible site of a house. I have thus surveyed the country on every
side within a dozen miles of where I live. In imagination I have bought
all the farms in succession, for all were to be bought, and I knew their
price. I walked over each farmer's premises, tasted his wild apples,
discoursed on husbandry with him, took his farm at his price, at any
price, mortgaging it to him in my mind; even put a higher price on it—took
everything but a deed of it—took his word for his deed, for I dearly
love to talk—cultivated it, and him too to some extent, I trust, and
withdrew when I had enjoyed it long enough, leaving him to carry it on.
This experience entitled me to be regarded as a sort of real-estate broker
by my friends. Wherever I sat, there I might live, and the landscape
radiated from me accordingly. What is a house but a <i>sedes</i>, a seat?—better
if a country seat. I discovered many a site for a house not likely to be
soon improved, which some might have thought too far from the village, but
to my eyes the village was too far from it. Well, there I might live, I
said; and there I did live, for an hour, a summer and a winter life; saw
how I could let the years run off, buffet the winter through, and see the
spring come in. The future inhabitants of this region, wherever they may
place their houses, may be sure that they have been anticipated. An
afternoon sufficed to lay out the land into orchard, wood-lot, and
pasture, and to decide what fine oaks or pines should be left to stand
before the door, and whence each blasted tree could be seen to the best
advantage; and then I let it lie, fallow, perchance, for a man is rich in
proportion to the number of things which he can afford to let alone.</p>
<p>My imagination carried me so far that I even had the refusal of several
farms—the refusal was all I wanted—but I never got my fingers
burned by actual possession. The nearest that I came to actual possession
was when I bought the Hollowell place, and had begun to sort my seeds, and
collected materials with which to make a wheelbarrow to carry it on or off
with; but before the owner gave me a deed of it, his wife—every man
has such a wife—changed her mind and wished to keep it, and he
offered me ten dollars to release him. Now, to speak the truth, I had but
ten cents in the world, and it surpassed my arithmetic to tell, if I was
that man who had ten cents, or who had a farm, or ten dollars, or all
together. However, I let him keep the ten dollars and the farm too, for I
had carried it far enough; or rather, to be generous, I sold him the farm
for just what I gave for it, and, as he was not a rich man, made him a
present of ten dollars, and still had my ten cents, and seeds, and
materials for a wheelbarrow left. I found thus that I had been a rich man
without any damage to my poverty. But I retained the landscape, and I have
since annually carried off what it yielded without a wheelbarrow. With
respect to landscapes,</p>
<p>"I am monarch of all I <i>survey</i>,<br/>
My right there is none to dispute."<br/></p>
<p class="nind">
I have frequently seen a poet withdraw, having enjoyed the most valuable
part of a farm, while the crusty farmer supposed that he had got a few
wild apples only. Why, the owner does not know it for many years when a
poet has put his farm in rhyme, the most admirable kind of invisible
fence, has fairly impounded it, milked it, skimmed it, and got all the
cream, and left the farmer only the skimmed milk.</p>
<p>The real attractions of the Hollowell farm, to me, were: its complete
retirement, being, about two miles from the village, half a mile from the
nearest neighbor, and separated from the highway by a broad field; its
bounding on the river, which the owner said protected it by its fogs from
frosts in the spring, though that was nothing to me; the gray color and
ruinous state of the house and barn, and the dilapidated fences, which put
such an interval between me and the last occupant; the hollow and
lichen-covered apple trees, gnawed by rabbits, showing what kind of
neighbors I should have; but above all, the recollection I had of it from
my earliest voyages up the river, when the house was concealed behind a
dense grove of red maples, through which I heard the house-dog bark. I was
in haste to buy it, before the proprietor finished getting out some rocks,
cutting down the hollow apple trees, and grubbing up some young birches
which had sprung up in the pasture, or, in short, had made any more of his
improvements. To enjoy these advantages I was ready to carry it on; like
Atlas, to take the world on my shoulders—I never heard what
compensation he received for that—and do all those things which had
no other motive or excuse but that I might pay for it and be unmolested in
my possession of it; for I knew all the while that it would yield the most
abundant crop of the kind I wanted, if I could only afford to let it
alone. But it turned out as I have said.</p>
<p>All that I could say, then, with respect to farming on a large scale—I
have always cultivated a garden—was, that I had had my seeds ready.
Many think that seeds improve with age. I have no doubt that time
discriminates between the good and the bad; and when at last I shall
plant, I shall be less likely to be disappointed. But I would say to my
fellows, once for all, As long as possible live free and uncommitted. It
makes but little difference whether you are committed to a farm or the
county jail.</p>
<p>Old Cato, whose "De Re Rustic�" is my "Cultivator," says—and the
only translation I have seen makes sheer nonsense of the passage—"When
you think of getting a farm turn it thus in your mind, not to buy
greedily; nor spare your pains to look at it, and do not think it enough
to go round it once. The oftener you go there the more it will please you,
if it is good." I think I shall not buy greedily, but go round and round
it as long as I live, and be buried in it first, that it may please me the
more at last.</p>
<p><br/></p>
<p>The present was my next experiment of this kind, which I purpose to
describe more at length, for convenience putting the experience of two
years into one. As I have said, I do not propose to write an ode to
dejection, but to brag as lustily as chanticleer in the morning, standing
on his roost, if only to wake my neighbors up.</p>
<p>When first I took up my abode in the woods, that is, began to spend my
nights as well as days there, which, by accident, was on Independence Day,
or the Fourth of July, 1845, my house was not finished for winter, but was
merely a defence against the rain, without plastering or chimney, the
walls being of rough, weather-stained boards, with wide chinks, which made
it cool at night. The upright white hewn studs and freshly planed door and
window casings gave it a clean and airy look, especially in the morning,
when its timbers were saturated with dew, so that I fancied that by noon
some sweet gum would exude from them. To my imagination it retained
throughout the day more or less of this auroral character, reminding me of
a certain house on a mountain which I had visited a year before. This was
an airy and unplastered cabin, fit to entertain a travelling god, and
where a goddess might trail her garments. The winds which passed over my
dwelling were such as sweep over the ridges of mountains, bearing the
broken strains, or celestial parts only, of terrestrial music. The morning
wind forever blows, the poem of creation is uninterrupted; but few are the
ears that hear it. Olympus is but the outside of the earth everywhere.</p>
<p>The only house I had been the owner of before, if I except a boat, was a
tent, which I used occasionally when making excursions in the summer, and
this is still rolled up in my garret; but the boat, after passing from
hand to hand, has gone down the stream of time. With this more substantial
shelter about me, I had made some progress toward settling in the world.
This frame, so slightly clad, was a sort of crystallization around me, and
reacted on the builder. It was suggestive somewhat as a picture in
outlines. I did not need to go outdoors to take the air, for the
atmosphere within had lost none of its freshness. It was not so much
within doors as behind a door where I sat, even in the rainiest weather.
The Harivansa says, "An abode without birds is like a meat without
seasoning." Such was not my abode, for I found myself suddenly neighbor to
the birds; not by having imprisoned one, but having caged myself near
them. I was not only nearer to some of those which commonly frequent the
garden and the orchard, but to those smaller and more thrilling songsters
of the forest which never, or rarely, serenade a villager—the wood
thrush, the veery, the scarlet tanager, the field sparrow, the
whip-poor-will, and many others.</p>
<p>I was seated by the shore of a small pond, about a mile and a half south
of the village of Concord and somewhat higher than it, in the midst of an
extensive wood between that town and Lincoln, and about two miles south of
that our only field known to fame, Concord Battle Ground; but I was so low
in the woods that the opposite shore, half a mile off, like the rest,
covered with wood, was my most distant horizon. For the first week,
whenever I looked out on the pond it impressed me like a tarn high up on
the side of a mountain, its bottom far above the surface of other lakes,
and, as the sun arose, I saw it throwing off its nightly clothing of mist,
and here and there, by degrees, its soft ripples or its smooth reflecting
surface was revealed, while the mists, like ghosts, were stealthily
withdrawing in every direction into the woods, as at the breaking up of
some nocturnal conventicle. The very dew seemed to hang upon the trees
later into the day than usual, as on the sides of mountains.</p>
<p>This small lake was of most value as a neighbor in the intervals of a
gentle rain-storm in August, when, both air and water being perfectly
still, but the sky overcast, mid-afternoon had all the serenity of
evening, and the wood thrush sang around, and was heard from shore to
shore. A lake like this is never smoother than at such a time; and the
clear portion of the air above it being, shallow and darkened by clouds,
the water, full of light and reflections, becomes a lower heaven itself so
much the more important. From a hill-top near by, where the wood had been
recently cut off, there was a pleasing vista southward across the pond,
through a wide indentation in the hills which form the shore there, where
their opposite sides sloping toward each other suggested a stream flowing
out in that direction through a wooded valley, but stream there was none.
That way I looked between and over the near green hills to some distant
and higher ones in the horizon, tinged with blue. Indeed, by standing on
tiptoe I could catch a glimpse of some of the peaks of the still bluer and
more distant mountain ranges in the northwest, those true-blue coins from
heaven's own mint, and also of some portion of the village. But in other
directions, even from this point, I could not see over or beyond the woods
which surrounded me. It is well to have some water in your neighborhood,
to give buoyancy to and float the earth. One value even of the smallest
well is, that when you look into it you see that earth is not continent
but insular. This is as important as that it keeps butter cool. When I
looked across the pond from this peak toward the Sudbury meadows, which in
time of flood I distinguished elevated perhaps by a mirage in their
seething valley, like a coin in a basin, all the earth beyond the pond
appeared like a thin crust insulated and floated even by this small sheet
of interverting water, and I was reminded that this on which I dwelt was
but <i>dry land</i>.</p>
<p>Though the view from my door was still more contracted, I did not feel
crowded or confined in the least. There was pasture enough for my
imagination. The low shrub oak plateau to which the opposite shore arose
stretched away toward the prairies of the West and the steppes of Tartary,
affording ample room for all the roving families of men. "There are none
happy in the world but beings who enjoy freely a vast horizon"—said
Damodara, when his herds required new and larger pastures.</p>
<p>Both place and time were changed, and I dwelt nearer to those parts of the
universe and to those eras in history which had most attracted me. Where I
lived was as far off as many a region viewed nightly by astronomers. We
are wont to imagine rare and delectable places in some remote and more
celestial corner of the system, behind the constellation of Cassiopeia's
Chair, far from noise and disturbance. I discovered that my house actually
had its site in such a withdrawn, but forever new and unprofaned, part of
the universe. If it were worth the while to settle in those parts near to
the Pleiades or the Hyades, to Aldebaran or Altair, then I was really
there, or at an equal remoteness from the life which I had left behind,
dwindled and twinkling with as fine a ray to my nearest neighbor, and to
be seen only in moonless nights by him. Such was that part of creation
where I had squatted;</p>
<p>"There was a shepherd that did live,<br/>
And held his thoughts as high<br/>
As were the mounts whereon his flocks<br/>
Did hourly feed him by."<br/></p>
<p class="nind">
What should we think of the shepherd's life if his flocks always wandered
to higher pastures than his thoughts?</p>
<p>Every morning was a cheerful invitation to make my life of equal
simplicity, and I may say innocence, with Nature herself. I have been as
sincere a worshipper of Aurora as the Greeks. I got up early and bathed in
the pond; that was a religious exercise, and one of the best things which
I did. They say that characters were engraven on the bathing tub of King
Tchingthang to this effect: "Renew thyself completely each day; do it
again, and again, and forever again." I can understand that. Morning
brings back the heroic ages. I was as much affected by the faint hum of a
mosquito making its invisible and unimaginable tour through my apartment
at earliest dawn, when I was sitting with door and windows open, as I
could be by any trumpet that ever sang of fame. It was Homer's requiem;
itself an Iliad and Odyssey in the air, singing its own wrath and
wanderings. There was something cosmical about it; a standing
advertisement, till forbidden, of the everlasting vigor and fertility of
the world. The morning, which is the most memorable season of the day, is
the awakening hour. Then there is least somnolence in us; and for an hour,
at least, some part of us awakes which slumbers all the rest of the day
and night. Little is to be expected of that day, if it can be called a
day, to which we are not awakened by our Genius, but by the mechanical
nudgings of some servitor, are not awakened by our own newly acquired
force and aspirations from within, accompanied by the undulations of
celestial music, instead of factory bells, and a fragrance filling the air—to
a higher life than we fell asleep from; and thus the darkness bear its
fruit, and prove itself to be good, no less than the light. That man who
does not believe that each day contains an earlier, more sacred, and
auroral hour than he has yet profaned, has despaired of life, and is
pursuing a descending and darkening way. After a partial cessation of his
sensuous life, the soul of man, or its organs rather, are reinvigorated
each day, and his Genius tries again what noble life it can make. All
memorable events, I should say, transpire in morning time and in a morning
atmosphere. The Vedas say, "All intelligences awake with the morning."
Poetry and art, and the fairest and most memorable of the actions of men,
date from such an hour. All poets and heroes, like Memnon, are the
children of Aurora, and emit their music at sunrise. To him whose elastic
and vigorous thought keeps pace with the sun, the day is a perpetual
morning. It matters not what the clocks say or the attitudes and labors of
men. Morning is when I am awake and there is a dawn in me. Moral reform is
the effort to throw off sleep. Why is it that men give so poor an account
of their day if they have not been slumbering? They are not such poor
calculators. If they had not been overcome with drowsiness, they would
have performed something. The millions are awake enough for physical
labor; but only one in a million is awake enough for effective
intellectual exertion, only one in a hundred millions to a poetic or
divine life. To be awake is to be alive. I have never yet met a man who
was quite awake. How could I have looked him in the face?</p>
<p>We must learn to reawaken and keep ourselves awake, not by mechanical
aids, but by an infinite expectation of the dawn, which does not forsake
us in our soundest sleep. I know of no more encouraging fact than the
unquestionable ability of man to elevate his life by a conscious endeavor.
It is something to be able to paint a particular picture, or to carve a
statue, and so to make a few objects beautiful; but it is far more
glorious to carve and paint the very atmosphere and medium through which
we look, which morally we can do. To affect the quality of the day, that
is the highest of arts. Every man is tasked to make his life, even in its
details, worthy of the contemplation of his most elevated and critical
hour. If we refused, or rather used up, such paltry information as we get,
the oracles would distinctly inform us how this might be done.</p>
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