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Wit and Humor of America, The Vol 06

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<h2>THE BEAR STORY</h2> <h3>THAT ALEX "IST MAKED UP HIS-OWN-SE'F"</h3> <h3>BY JAMES WHITCOMB RILEY</h3> <div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> W'y, wunst they wuz a Little Boy went out In the woods to shoot a Bear. So, he went out 'Way in the grea'-big woods—he did.—An' he Wuz goin' along—an' goin' along, you know, An' purty soon he heerd somepin' go "Wooh!"— Ist thataway—"Woo-ooh!" An' he wuz skeered, He wuz. An' so he runned an' clumbed a tree— A grea'-big tree, he did,—a sicka-more tree. An' nen he heerd it ag'in: an' he looked round, An' 't'uz a Bear!—a grea'-big shore-nuff Bear!— No: 't'uz two Bears, it wuz—two grea'-big Bears— One of 'em wuz—ist one's a grea'-big Bear.— But they ist boff went "Wooh!"—An' here they come To climb the tree an' git the Little Boy An' eat him up! </div> <div class="stanza"> An' nen the Little Boy He 'uz skeered worse'n ever! An' here come The grea'-big Bear a-climbin' th' tree to git The Little Boy an' eat him up—Oh, no!— It 'uzn't the Big Bear 'at dumb the tree— It 'uz the Little Bear. So here he come Climbin' the tree—an' climbin' the tree! Nen when He git wite clos't to the Little Boy, w'y nen The Little Boy he ist pulled up his gun An' shot the Bear, he did, an' killed him dead! An' nen the Bear he falled clean on down out The tree—away clean to the ground, he did— Spling-splung! he falled plum down, an' killed him, too! An' lit wite side o' where the Big Bear's at. </div> <div class="stanza"> An' nen the Big Bear's awful mad, you bet!— 'Cause—'cause the Little Boy he shot his gun An' killed the Little Bear.—'Cause the Big Bear He—he 'uz the Little Bear's Papa.—An' so here He come to climb the big old tree an' git The Little Boy an' eat him up! An' when The Little Boy he saw the grea'-big Bear A-comin', he 'uz badder skeered, he wuz, Than any time! An' so he think he'll climb Up higher—'way up higher in the tree Than the old Bear kin climb, you know.—But he— He can't climb higher 'an old Bears kin climb,— 'Cause Bears kin climb up higher in the trees Than any little Boys in all the Wo-r-r-ld! </div> <div class="stanza"> An' so here come the grea'-big Bear, he did,— A-climbin' up—an' up the tree, to git The Little Boy an' eat him up! An' so The Little Boy he clumbed on higher, an' higher, An' higher up the tree—an' higher—an' higher— An' higher'n iss-here house is!—An' here come Th' old Bear—clos'ter to him all the time!— An' nen—first thing you know,—when th' old Big Bear Wuz wite clos't to him—nen the Little Boy Ist jabbed his gun wite in the old Bear's mouf An' shot an' killed him dead!—No; I fergot,— He didn't shoot the grea'-big Bear at all— 'Cause they 'uz no load in the gun, you know— 'Cause when he shot the Little Bear, w'y, nen No load 'uz any more nen in the gun! </div> <div class="stanza"> But th' Little Boy clumbed higher up, he did— He clumbed lots higher—an' on up higher—an' higher An' higher—tel he ist can't climb no higher, 'Cause nen the limbs 'uz all so little, 'way Up in the teeny-weeny tip-top of The tree, they'd break down wiv him ef he don't Be keerful! So he stop an' think: An' nen He look around—An' here come th' old Bear! </div> <div class="stanza"> An' so the Little Boy make up his mind He's got to ist git out o' there some way!— 'Cause here come the old Bear!—so clos't, his bref's Purt 'nigh so's he kin feel how hot it is Ag'inst his bare feet—ist like old "Ring's" bref When he's ben out a-huntin' an's all tired. So when th' old Bear's so clos't—the Little Boy Ist gives a grea'-big jump fer 'nother tree— No!—no he don't do that!—I tell you what The Little Boy does:—W'y, nen—w'y, he—Oh, yes— The Little Boy he finds a hole up there 'At's in the tree—an' climbs in there an' hides— An' nen th' old Bear can't find the Little Boy At all!—But, purty soon th' old Bear finds The Little Boy's gun 'at's up there—'cause the gun It's too tall to tooked wiv him in the hole. So, when the old Bear find' the gun, he knows The Little Boy's ist hid 'round somers there,— An' th' old Bear 'gins to snuff an' sniff around, An' sniff an' snuff around—so's he kin find Out where the Little Boy's hid at.—An' nen—nen— Oh, yes!—W'y, purty soon the old Bear climbs 'Way out on a big limb—a grea'-long limb,— An' nen the Little Boy climbs out the hole An' takes his ax an' chops the limb off!... Nen The old Bear falls k-splunge! clean to the ground An' bust an' kill hisse'f plum dead, he did! </div> <div class="stanza"> An' nen the Little Boy he git his gun An' 'menced a-climbin' down the tree ag'in— No!—no, he didn't git his gun—'cause when The Bear falled, nen the gun falled, too—An' broked It all to pieces, too!—An' nicest gun!— His Pa ist buyed it!—An' the Little Boy Ist cried, he did; an' went on climbin' down The tree—an' climbin' down—an' climbin' down!— An'-sir! when he 'uz purt'-nigh down,—w'y, nen The old Bear he jumped up ag'in!—an' he Ain't dead at all—ist 'tendin' thataway, So he kin git the Little Boy an' eat Him up! But the Little Boy he 'uz too smart To climb clean down the tree.—An' the old Bear He can't climb up the tree no more—'cause when He fell, he broke one of his—he broke all His legs!—an' nen he couldn't climb! But he Ist won't go 'way an' let the Little Boy Come down out of the tree. An' the old Bear Ist growls 'round there, he does—ist growls an' goes "Wooh!—woo-ooh!" all the time! An' Little Boy He haf to stay up in the tree—all night— An' 'thout no supper neether!—On'y they Wuz apples on the tree!—An' Little Boy Et apples—ist all night—an' cried—an' cried! Nen when 't'uz morning th' old Bear went "Wooh!" Ag'in, an' try to climb up in the tree An' git the Little Boy.—But he can't Climb t'save his soul, he can't!—An' oh! he's mad!— He ist tear up the ground! an' go "Woo-ooh!" An'—Oh, yes!—purty soon, when morning's come All light—so's you kin see, you know,—w'y, nen The old Bear finds the Little Boy's gun, you know, 'At's on the ground.—(An' it ain't broke at all— I ist said that!) An' so the old Bear think He'll take the gun an' shoot the Little Boy:— But Bears they don't know much 'bout shootin' guns: So when he go to shoot the Little Boy, The old Bear got the other end the gun Ag'in' his shoulder, 'stid o' th'other end— So when he try to shoot the Little Boy, It shot the Bear, it did—an' killed him dead! An' nen the Little Boy clumb down the tree An' chopped his old woolly head off:—Yes, an' killed The other Bear ag'in, he did—an' killed All boff the bears, he did—an' tuk 'em home An' cooked'em, too, an' et'em! —An' that's all. </div> </div> <hr style="width: 65%;" /> <div style="break-after:column;"></div>

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