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Wit and Humor of America, The Vol 06

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<h2>DE GRADUAL COMMENCE</h2> <h3>BY WALLACE BRUCE AMSBARY</h3> <div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> Oui, Oui, M'sieu, I'm mos' happee, My ches' wid proud expan', I feel de bes' I evere feel, An' over all dis lan' Dere's none set op so moch as me; You'll know w'en I am say My leddle daughter Madeline Is gradual to-day. </div> <div class="stanza"> She is de ver' mos' smartes' gairl Dat I am evere know, I'm fin' dis out, de teacher, he Is tol' me dat is so; She is so smart dat she say t'ings I am no understan', She is know more dan any one Dat leeve on ol' Ste. Anne. </div> <div class="stanza"> De Gradual Commence is hol' Down at de gr'ad beeg hall, W'ere plaintee peopl' can gat seat For dem to see it all. De School Board wid dere president, Dey sit opon front row, Dey look so stiff an' dignify, For w'at I am not know. </div> <div class="stanza"> De classe dat mak' de "gradual" Dey're on de stage, you see, In semi-cirque dat face de peop', Some scare as dey can be; Den wan of dem dey all mak' spe'k, Affer de nodder's t'roo, Dis tak' dem 'bout t'ree hour an' half De hull t'ing for to do. </div> <div class="stanza"> Ma Madeline she is all feex op, Mos' beautiful to see, In nice w'ite drass, my wife he buy Overe to Kankakee. An' when she rise to mak' de spe'k How smart she look on face, Dey all expec' somet'ing dey hear, Dere's hush fall on de place. </div> <div class="stanza"> She tell us how to mak' de leeve, How raise beeg familee; She tell it all so smood an' plain Dat you can't help but see; An' how she learn her all of dat Ees more dan I can say, But she is know it, for she talk In smartes' kind of way. </div> <div class="stanza"> W'en all is t'roo de president De sheepskin he geeve 'way; Dey're all nice print opon dem, An' dis is w'at dey say: "To dem dat is concern' wid dese Presents you onderstan' De h'owner dese; is gradual At High School on Ste. Anne." </div> <div class="stanza"> An' now dat she is gradual She ees know all about De world an' how to mak' it run From inside to de out; For dis is one de primere t'ings W'at she is learn, you see, Dat long beeg word I can pronounce, It's call philosophee. </div> <div class="stanza"> An' you can' blame me if I am Ver' proud an' puff op so, To hav' a daughter like dis wan Dat's everyt'ing she know. No wonder dat I gat beeg head, My hat's too small, dey say— Ma leddle daughter Madeline Is gradual to-day. </div> </div> <hr style="width: 65%;" /> <div style="break-after:column;"></div>

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