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<h2> V. LOVE. </h2>
<p>Every promise of the soul has innumerable fulfilments; each of its joys
ripens into a new want. Nature, uncontainable, flowing, forelooking, in
the first sentiment of kindness anticipates already a benevolence which
shall lose all particular regards in its general light. The introduction
to this felicity is in a private and tender relation of one to one, which
is the enchantment of human life; which, like a certain divine rage and
enthusiasm, seizes on man at one period and works a revolution in his mind
and body; unites him to his race, pledges him to the domestic and civic
relations, carries him with new sympathy into nature, enhances the power
of the senses, opens the imagination, adds to his character heroic and
sacred attributes, establishes marriage, and gives permanence to human
society.</p>
<p>The natural association of the sentiment of love with the heyday of the
blood seems to require that in order to portray it in vivid tints, which
every youth and maid should confess to be true to their throbbing
experience, one must not be too old. The delicious fancies of youth reject
the least savor of a mature philosophy, as chilling with age and pedantry
their purple bloom. And therefore I know I incur the imputation of
unnecessary hardness and stoicism from those who compose the Court and
Parliament of Love. But from these formidable censors I shall appeal to my
seniors. For it is to be considered that this passion of which we speak,
though it begin with the young, yet forsakes not the old, or rather
suffers no one who is truly its servant to grow old, but makes the aged
participators of it not less than the tender maiden, though in a different
and nobler sort. For it is a fire that kindling its first embers in the
narrow nook of a private bosom, caught from a wandering spark out of
another private heart, glows and enlarges until it warms and beams upon
multitudes of men and women, upon the universal heart of all, and so
lights up the whole world and all nature with its generous flames. It
matters not therefore whether we attempt to describe the passion at
twenty, at thirty, or at eighty years. He who paints it at the first
period will lose some of its later, he who paints it at the last, some of
its earlier traits. Only it is to be hoped that by patience and the Muses'
aid we may attain to that inward view of the law which shall describe a
truth ever young and beautiful, so central that it shall commend itself to
the eye, at whatever angle beholden.</p>
<p>And the first condition is, that we must leave a too close and lingering
adherence to facts, and study the sentiment as it appeared in hope and not
in history. For each man sees his own life defaced and disfigured, as the
life of man is not, to his imagination. Each man sees over his own
experience a certain stain of error, whilst that of other men looks fair
and ideal. Let any man go back to those delicious relations which make the
beauty of his life, which have given him sincerest instruction and
nourishment, he will shrink and moan. Alas! I know not why, but infinite
compunctions embitter in mature life the remembrances of budding joy and
cover every beloved name. Every thing is beautiful seen from the point of
the intellect, or as truth. But all is sour, if seen as experience.
Details are melancholy; the plan is seemly and noble. In the actual world—the
painful kingdom of time and place—dwell care, and canker, and fear.
With thought, with the ideal, is immortal hilarity, the rose of joy. Round
it all the Muses sing. But grief cleaves to names, and persons, and the
partial interests of to-day and yesterday.</p>
<p>The strong bent of nature is seen in the proportion which this topic of
personal relations usurps in the conversation of society. What do we wish
to know of any worthy person so much, as how he has sped in the history of
this sentiment? What books in the circulating libraries circulate? How we
glow over these novels of passion, when the story is told with any spark
of truth and nature! And what fastens attention, in the intercourse of
life, like any passage betraying affection between two parties? Perhaps we
never saw them before, and never shall meet them again. But we see them
exchange a glance, or betray a deep emotion, and we are no longer
strangers. We understand them, and take the warmest interest in the
development of the romance. All mankind love a lover. The earliest
demonstrations of complacency and kindness are nature's most winning
pictures. It is the dawn of civility and grace in the coarse and rustic.
The rude village boy teases the girls about the school-house door;—but
to-day he comes running into the entry, and meets one fair child disposing
her satchel; he holds her books to help her, and instantly it seems to him
as if she removed herself from him infinitely, and was a sacred precinct.
Among the throng of girls he runs rudely enough, but one alone distances
him; and these two little neighbors, that were so close just now, have
learned to respect each other's personality. Or who can avert his eyes
from the engaging, half-artful, half-artless ways of school-girls who go
into the country shops to buy a skein of silk or a sheet of paper, and
talk half an hour about nothing with the broad-faced, good-natured
shop-boy. In the village they are on a perfect equality, which love
delights in, and without any coquetry the happy, affectionate nature of
woman flows out in this pretty gossip. The girls may have little beauty,
yet plainly do they establish between them and the good boy the most
agreeable, confiding relations, what with their fun and their earnest,
about Edgar and Jonas and Almira, and who was invited to the party, and
who danced at the dancing-school, and when the singing-school would begin,
and other nothings concerning which the parties cooed. By and by that boy
wants a wife, and very truly and heartily will he know where to find a
sincere and sweet mate, without any risk such as Milton deplores as
incident to scholars and great men.</p>
<p>I have been told that in some public discourses of mine my reverence for
the intellect has made me unjustly cold to the personal relations. But now
I almost shrink at the remembrance of such disparaging words. For persons
are love's world, and the coldest philosopher cannot recount the debt of
the young soul wandering here in nature to the power of love, without
being tempted to unsay, as treasonable to nature, aught derogatory to the
social instincts. For though the celestial rapture falling out of heaven
seizes only upon those of tender age, and although a beauty overpowering
all analysis or comparison and putting us quite beside ourselves we can
seldom see after thirty years, yet the remembrance of these visions
outlasts all other remembrances, and is a wreath of flowers on the oldest
brows. But here is a strange fact; it may seem to many men, in revising
their experience, that they have no fairer page in their life's book than
the delicious memory of some passages wherein affection contrived to give
a witchcraft, surpassing the deep attraction of its own truth, to a parcel
of accidental and trivial circumstances. In looking backward they may find
that several things which were not the charm have more reality to this
groping memory than the charm itself which embalmed them. But be our
experience in particulars what it may, no man ever forgot the visitations
of that power to his heart and brain, which created all things anew; which
was the dawn in him of music, poetry, and art; which made the face of
nature radiant with purple light, the morning and the night varied
enchantments; when a single tone of one voice could make the heart bound,
and the most trivial circumstance associated with one form is put in the
amber of memory; when he became all eye when one was present, and all
memory when one was gone; when the youth becomes a watcher of windows and
studious of a glove, a veil, a ribbon, or the wheels of a carriage; when
no place is too solitary and none too silent, for him who has richer
company and sweeter conversation in his new thoughts than any old friends,
though best and purest, can give him; for the figures, the motions, the
words of the beloved object are not like other images written in water,
but, as Plutarch said, "enamelled in fire," and make the study of
midnight:—</p>
<p>"Thou art not gone being gone, where'er thou art,<br/>
Thou leav'st in him thy watchful eyes, in him thy<br/>
loving heart."<br/></p>
<p>In the noon and the afternoon of life we still throb at the recollection
of days when happiness was not happy enough, but must be drugged with the
relish of pain and fear; for he touched the secret of the matter who said
of love,—</p>
<p>"All other pleasures are not worth its pains:"<br/></p>
<p>and when the day was not long enough, but the night too must be consumed
in keen recollections; when the head boiled all night on the pillow with
the generous deed it resolved on; when the moonlight was a pleasing fever
and the stars were letters and the flowers ciphers and the air was coined
into song; when all business seemed an impertinence, and all the men and
women running to and fro in the streets, mere pictures.</p>
<p>The passion rebuilds the world for the youth. It makes all things alive
and significant. Nature grows conscious. Every bird on the boughs of the
tree sings now to his heart and soul. The notes are almost articulate. The
clouds have faces as he looks on them. The trees of the forest, the waving
grass and the peeping flowers have grown intelligent; and he almost fears
to trust them with the secret which they seem to invite. Yet nature
soothes and sympathizes. In the green solitude he finds a dearer home than
with men:—</p>
<p>"Fountain-heads and pathless groves,<br/>
Places which pale passion loves,<br/>
Moonlight walks, when all the fowls<br/>
Are safely housed, save bats and owls,<br/>
A midnight bell, a passing groan,—<br/>
These are the sounds we feed upon."<br/></p>
<p>Behold there in the wood the fine madman! He is a palace of sweet sounds
and sights; he dilates; he is twice a man; he walks with arms akimbo; he
soliloquizes; he accosts the grass and the trees; he feels the blood of
the violet, the clover and the lily in his veins; and he talks with the
brook that wets his foot.</p>
<p>The heats that have opened his perceptions of natural beauty have made him
love music and verse. It is a fact often observed, that men have written
good verses under the inspiration of passion, who cannot write well under
any other circumstances.</p>
<p>The like force has the passion over all his nature. It expands the
sentiment; it makes the clown gentle and gives the coward heart. Into the
most pitiful and abject it will infuse a heart and courage to defy the
world, so only it have the countenance of the beloved object. In giving
him to another it still more gives him to himself. He is a new man, with
new perceptions, new and keener purposes, and a religious solemnity of
character and aims. He does not longer appertain to his family and
society; he is somewhat; he is a person; he is a soul.</p>
<p>And here let us examine a little nearer the nature of that influence which
is thus potent over the human youth. Beauty, whose revelation to man we
now celebrate, welcome as the sun wherever it pleases to shine, which
pleases everybody with it and with themselves, seems sufficient to itself.
The lover cannot paint his maiden to his fancy poor and solitary. Like a
tree in flower, so much soft, budding, informing loveliness is society for
itself; and she teaches his eye why Beauty was pictured with Loves and
Graces attending her steps. Her existence makes the world rich. Though she
extrudes all other persons from his attention as cheap and unworthy, she
indemnifies him by carrying out her own being into somewhat impersonal,
large, mundane, so that the maiden stands to him for a representative of
all select things and virtues. For that reason the lover never sees
personal resemblances in his mistress to her kindred or to others. His
friends find in her a likeness to her mother, or her sisters, or to
persons not of her blood. The lover sees no resemblance except to summer
evenings and diamond mornings, to rainbows and the song of birds.</p>
<p>The ancients called beauty the flowering of virtue. Who can analyze the
nameless charm which glances from one and another face and form? We are
touched with emotions of tenderness and complacency, but we cannot find
whereat this dainty emotion, this wandering gleam, points. It is destroyed
for the imagination by any attempt to refer it to organization. Nor does
it point to any relations of friendship or love known and described in
society, but, as it seems to me, to a quite other and unattainable sphere,
to relations of transcendent delicacy and sweetness, to what roses and
violets hint and foreshow. We cannot approach beauty. Its nature is like
opaline doves'-neck lustres, hovering and evanescent. Herein it resembles
the most excellent things, which all have this rainbow character, defying
all attempts at appropriation and use. What else did Jean Paul Richter
signify, when he said to music, "Away! away! thou speakest to me of things
which in all my endless life I have not found, and shall not find." The
same fluency may be observed in every work of the plastic arts. The statue
is then beautiful when it begins to be incomprehensible, when it is
passing out of criticism and can no longer be defined by compass and
measuring-wand, but demands an active imagination to go with it and to say
what it is in the act of doing. The god or hero of the sculptor is always
represented in a transition from that which is representable to the
senses, to that which is not. Then first it ceases to be a stone. The same
remark holds of painting. And of poetry the success is not attained when
it lulls and satisfies, but when it astonishes and fires us with new
endeavors after the unattainable. Concerning it Landor inquires "whether
it is not to be referred to some purer state of sensation and existence."</p>
<p>In like manner, personal beauty is then first charming and itself when it
dissatisfies us with any end; when it becomes a story without an end; when
it suggests gleams and visions and not earthly satisfactions; when it
makes the beholder feel his unworthiness; when he cannot feel his right to
it, though he were Caesar; he cannot feel more right to it than to the
firmament and the splendors of a sunset.</p>
<p>Hence arose the saying, "If I love you, what is that to you?" We say so
because we feel that what we love is not in your will, but above it. It is
not you, but your radiance. It is that which you know not in yourself and
can never know.</p>
<p>This agrees well with that high philosophy of Beauty which the ancient
writers delighted in; for they said that the soul of man, embodied here on
earth, went roaming up and down in quest of that other world of its own
out of which it came into this, but was soon stupefied by the light of the
natural sun, and unable to see any other objects than those of this world,
which are but shadows of real things. Therefore the Deity sends the glory
of youth before the soul, that it may avail itself of beautiful bodies as
aids to its recollection of the celestial good and fair; and the man
beholding such a person in the female sex runs to her and finds the
highest joy in contemplating the form, movement, and intelligence of this
person, because it suggests to him the presence of that which indeed is
within the beauty, and the cause of the beauty.</p>
<p>If however, from too much conversing with material objects, the soul was
gross, and misplaced its satisfaction in the body, it reaped nothing but
sorrow; body being unable to fulfil the promise which beauty holds out;
but if, accepting the hint of these visions and suggestions which beauty
makes to his mind, the soul passes through the body and falls to admire
strokes of character, and the lovers contemplate one another in their
discourses and their actions, then they pass to the true palace of beauty,
more and more inflame their love of it, and by this love extinguishing the
base affection, as the sun puts out the fire by shining on the hearth,
they become pure and hallowed. By conversation with that which is in
itself excellent, magnanimous, lowly, and just, the lover comes to a
warmer love of these nobilities, and a quicker apprehension of them. Then
he passes from loving them in one to loving them in all, and so is the one
beautiful soul only the door through which he enters to the society of all
true and pure souls. In the particular society of his mate he attains a
clearer sight of any spot, any taint which her beauty has contracted from
this world, and is able to point it out, and this with mutual joy that
they are now able, without offence, to indicate blemishes and hindrances
in each other, and give to each all help and comfort in curing the same.
And beholding in many souls the traits of the divine beauty, and
separating in each soul that which is divine from the taint which it has
contracted in the world, the lover ascends to the highest beauty, to the
love and knowledge of the Divinity, by steps on this ladder of created
souls.</p>
<p>Somewhat like this have the truly wise told us of love in all ages. The
doctrine is not old, nor is it new. If Plato, Plutarch and Apuleius taught
it, so have Petrarch, Angelo and Milton. It awaits a truer unfolding in
opposition and rebuke to that subterranean prudence which presides at
marriages with words that take hold of the upper world, whilst one eye is
prowling in the cellar; so that its gravest discourse has a savor of hams
and powdering-tubs. Worst, when this sensualism intrudes into the
education of young women, and withers the hope and affection of human
nature by teaching that marriage signifies nothing but a housewife's
thrift, and that woman's life has no other aim.</p>
<p>But this dream of love, though beautiful, is only one scene in our play.
In the procession of the soul from within outward, it enlarges its circles
ever, like the pebble thrown into the pond, or the light proceeding from
an orb. The rays of the soul alight first on things nearest, on every
utensil and toy, on nurses and domestics, on the house and yard and
passengers, on the circle of household acquaintance, on politics and
geography and history. But things are ever grouping themselves according
to higher or more interior laws. Neighborhood, size, numbers, habits,
persons, lose by degrees their power over us. Cause and effect, real
affinities, the longing for harmony between the soul and the circumstance,
the progressive, idealizing instinct, predominate later, and the step
backward from the higher to the lower relations is impossible. Thus even
love, which is the deification of persons, must become more impersonal
every day. Of this at first it gives no hint. Little think the youth and
maiden who are glancing at each other across crowded rooms with eyes so
full of mutual intelligence, of the precious fruit long hereafter to
proceed from this new, quite external stimulus. The work of vegetation
begins first in the irritability of the bark and leaf-buds. From
exchanging glances, they advance to acts of courtesy, of gallantry, then
to fiery passion, to plighting troth and marriage. Passion beholds its
object as a perfect unit. The soul is wholly embodied, and the body is
wholly ensouled:—</p>
<p>"Her pure and eloquent blood<br/>
Spoke in her cheeks, and so distinctly wrought,<br/>
That one might almost say her body thought."<br/></p>
<p>Romeo, if dead, should be cut up into little stars to make the heavens
fine. Life, with this pair, has no other aim, asks no more, than Juliet,—than
Romeo. Night, day, studies, talents, kingdoms, religion, are all contained
in this form full of soul, in this soul which is all form. The lovers
delight in endearments, in avowals of love, in comparisons of their
regards. When alone, they solace themselves with the remembered image of
the other. Does that other see the same star, the same melting cloud, read
the same book, feel the same emotion, that now delight me? They try and
weigh their affection, and adding up costly advantages, friends,
opportunities, properties, exult in discovering that willingly, joyfully,
they would give all as a ransom for the beautiful, the beloved head, not
one hair of which shall be harmed. But the lot of humanity is on these
children. Danger, sorrow, and pain arrive to them, as to all. Love prays.
It makes covenants with Eternal Power in behalf of this dear mate. The
union which is thus effected and which adds a new value to every atom in
nature—for it transmutes every thread throughout the whole web of
relation into a golden ray, and bathes the soul in a new and sweeter
element—is yet a temporary state. Not always can flowers, pearls,
poetry, protestations, nor even home in another heart, content the awful
soul that dwells in clay. It arouses itself at last from these
endearments, as toys, and puts on the harness and aspires to vast and
universal aims. The soul which is in the soul of each, craving a perfect
beatitude, detects incongruities, defects and disproportion in the
behavior of the other. Hence arise surprise, expostulation and pain. Yet
that which drew them to each other was signs of loveliness, signs of
virtue; and these virtues are there, however eclipsed. They appear and
reappear and continue to attract; but the regard changes, quits the sign
and attaches to the substance. This repairs the wounded affection.
Meantime, as life wears on, it proves a game of permutation and
combination of all possible positions of the parties, to employ all the
resources of each and acquaint each with the strength and weakness of the
other. For it is the nature and end of this relation, that they should
represent the human race to each other. All that is in the world, which is
or ought to be known, is cunningly wrought into the texture of man, of
woman:—</p>
<p>"The person love does to us fit,<br/>
Like manna, has the taste of all in it."<br/></p>
<p>The world rolls; the circumstances vary every hour. The angels that
inhabit this temple of the body appear at the windows, and the gnomes and
vices also. By all the virtues they are united. If there be virtue, all
the vices are known as such; they confess and flee. Their once flaming
regard is sobered by time in either breast, and losing in violence what it
gains in extent, it becomes a thorough good understanding. They resign
each other without complaint to the good offices which man and woman are
severally appointed to discharge in time, and exchange the passion which
once could not lose sight of its object, for a cheerful, disengaged
furtherance, whether present or absent, of each other's designs. At last
they discover that all which at first drew them together,—those once
sacred features, that magical play of charms,—was deciduous, had a
prospective end, like the scaffolding by which the house was built; and
the purification of the intellect and the heart from year to year is the
real marriage, foreseen and prepared from the first, and wholly above
their consciousness. Looking at these aims with which two persons, a man
and a woman, so variously and correlatively gifted, are shut up in one
house to spend in the nuptial society forty or fifty years, I do not
wonder at the emphasis with which the heart prophesies this crisis from
early infancy, at the profuse beauty with which the instincts deck the
nuptial bower, and nature and intellect and art emulate each other in the
gifts and the melody they bring to the epithalamium.</p>
<p>Thus are we put in training for a love which knows not sex, nor person,
nor partiality, but which seeks virtue and wisdom everywhere, to the end
of increasing virtue and wisdom. We are by nature observers, and thereby
learners. That is our permanent state. But we are often made to feel that
our affections are but tents of a night. Though slowly and with pain, the
objects of the affections change, as the objects of thought do. There are
moments when the affections rule and absorb the man and make his happiness
dependent on a person or persons. But in health the mind is presently seen
again,—its overarching vault, bright with galaxies of immutable
lights, and the warm loves and fears that swept over us as clouds must
lose their finite character and blend with God, to attain their own
perfection. But we need not fear that we can lose any thing by the
progress of the soul. The soul may be trusted to the end. That which is so
beautiful and attractive as these relations, must be succeeded and
supplanted only by what is more beautiful, and so on for ever.</p>
<p><br/></p>
<hr />
<p><br/><br/><br/></p>
<p>FRIENDSHIP.<br/>
<br/>
A RUDDY drop of manly blood<br/>
The surging sea outweighs;<br/>
The world uncertain comes and goes,<br/>
The lover rooted stays.<br/>
I fancied he was fled,<br/>
And, after many a year,<br/>
Glowed unexhausted kindliness<br/>
Like daily sunrise there.<br/>
My careful heart was free again,—<br/>
O friend, my bosom said,<br/>
Through thee alone the sky is arched,<br/>
Through thee the rose is red,<br/>
All things through thee take nobler form<br/>
And look beyond the earth,<br/>
The mill-round of our fate appears<br/>
A sun-path in thy worth.<br/>
Me too thy nobleness has taught<br/>
To master my despair;<br/>
The fountains of my hidden life<br/>
Are through thy friendship fair.<br/></p>
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