Wit and Humor of America, The Vol 07

<h2>ALPHABET OF CELEBRITIES</h2> <h3>BY OLIVER HERFORD</h3> <div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> <span class="i0">E is for Edison, making believe<br/></span> <span class="i0">He's invented a clever contrivance for Eve,<br/></span> <span class="i0">Who complained that she never could laugh in her sleeve.<br/></span></div> <div class="stanza"> <span class="i0">O is for Oliver, casting aspersion<br/></span> <span class="i0">On Omar, that awfully dissolute Persian,<br/></span> <span class="i0">Though secretly longing to join the diversion.<br/></span></div> <div class="stanza"> <span class="i0">R's Rubenstein, playing that old thing in F<br/></span> <span class="i0">To Rollo and Rembrandt, who wish they were deaf.<br/></span></div> <div class="stanza"> <span class="i0">S is for Swinburne, who, seeking the true,<br/></span> <span class="i0">The good, and the beautiful, visits the Zoo,<br/></span> <span class="i0">Where he chances on Sappho and Mr. Sardou,<br/></span> <span class="i0">And Socrates, all with the same end in view.<br/></span></div> <div class="stanza"> <span class="i0">W's Wagner, who sang and played lots,<br/></span> <span class="i0">For Washington, Wesley and good Dr. Watts;<br/></span> <span class="i0">His prurient plots pained Wesley and Watts,<br/></span> <span class="i0">But Washington said he "enjoyed them in spots."<br/></span> <span class='pagenum'><SPAN name="Page_1244" id="Page_1244"></SPAN></span></div> </div> <hr style="width: 65%;" /> <div style="break-after:column;"></div><br />