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Uncle Josh's Punkin Centre Stories

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<h2> My Old Yaller Almanac </h2> Hangin' on the Kitchen Wall I'M sort of fond of readin' one thing and another, So I've read promiscus like whatever cum my way, And many a friendly argument's cum up 'tween me and mother, 'Bout things that I'd be readin' settin' round a rainy day. Sometimes it jist seemed to me thar wa'nt no end of books, Some made fer useful readin' and some jist made fer looks; But of all the different books I've read, thar's none comes up at all To My Old Yaller Almanac, Hangin' on the Kitchen Wall. I've always liked amusement, of the good and wholesome kind, It's better than a doctor, and it elevates the mind; So, often of an evening, when the farm chores all were done, I'd join the games the boys would play, gosh how I liked the fun; And once thar wuz a minstrel troop, they showed at our Town Hall, A jolly lot of fellers, 'bout twenty of 'em all. Wall I went down to see 'em, but their jokes, I knowed 'em all, Read 'em in My Old Yaller Almanac, Hangin' on the Kitchen Wall. Thar wuz Ezra Hoskins, Deacon Brown and a lot of us old codgers, Used to meet down at the grocery store, what wuz kept by Jason Rogers. There we'd set and argufy most every market day, Chawin' tobacker and whittlin' sticks to pass the time away; And many a knotty problem has put us on our mettle, Which we felt it wuz our duty to duly solve and settle; Then after they had said their say, who thought they knowed it all, I'd floor 'em with some facts I'd got From My Old Yaller Almanac, Hangin' on the Kitchen Wall. It beats a regular cyclopedium, that old fashioned yeller book, And many a pleasant hour in readin' it I've took; Somehow I've never tired of lookin' through its pages, Seein' of the different things that's happened in all ages. One time I wuz elected a Justice of the Peace, To make out legal documents, a mortgage or a lease, Them tricks that lawyers have, you bet I knowed them all, Learned them in My Old Yaller Almanac, Hangin' on the Kitchen Wall. So now I've bin to New York, and all your sights I've seen, I s'pose that to you city folks I must look most awful green, Gee whiz, what lots of fun I've had as I walked round the town, Havin' Bunco Steerers ask me if I wasn't Mr. Hiram Brown. I've rode on all your trolloly cars, and hung onto the straps, When we flew around the corners, sat on other peoples' laps, Hav'nt had no trouble, not a bit at all, Read about your city in My Old Yaller Almanac, Hangin' on the Kitchen Wall. <div style="break-after:column;"></div>

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