<p>FRIENDSHIP.<br/>
<br/>
A RUDDY drop of manly blood<br/>
The surging sea outweighs;<br/>
The world uncertain comes and goes,<br/>
The lover rooted stays.<br/>
I fancied he was fled,<br/>
And, after many a year,<br/>
Glowed unexhausted kindliness<br/>
Like daily sunrise there.<br/>
My careful heart was free again,—<br/>
O friend, my bosom said,<br/>
Through thee alone the sky is arched,<br/>
Through thee the rose is red,<br/>
All things through thee take nobler form<br/>
And look beyond the earth,<br/>
The mill-round of our fate appears<br/>
A sun-path in thy worth.<br/>
Me too thy nobleness has taught<br/>
To master my despair;<br/>
The fountains of my hidden life<br/>
Are through thy friendship fair.<br/></p>
<h2> VI. FRIENDSHIP. </h2>
<p>We have a great deal more kindness than is ever spoken. Maugre all the
selfishness that chills like east winds the world, the whole human family
is bathed with an element of love like a fine ether. How many persons we
meet in houses, whom we scarcely speak to, whom yet we honor, and who
honor us! How many we see in the street, or sit with in church, whom,
though silently, we warmly rejoice to be with! Read the language of these
wandering eye-beams. The heart knoweth.</p>
<p>The effect of the indulgence of this human affection is a certain cordial
exhilaration. In poetry and in common speech, the emotions of benevolence
and complacency which are felt towards others are likened to the material
effects of fire; so swift, or much more swift, more active, more cheering,
are these fine inward irradiations. From the highest degree of passionate
love to the lowest degree of good-will, they make the sweetness of life.</p>
<p>Our intellectual and active powers increase with our affection. The
scholar sits down to write, and all his years of meditation do not furnish
him with one good thought or happy expression; but it is necessary to
write a letter to a friend,—and forthwith troops of gentle thoughts
invest themselves, on every hand, with chosen words. See, in any house
where virtue and self-respect abide, the palpitation which the approach of
a stranger causes. A commended stranger is expected and announced, and an
uneasiness betwixt pleasure and pain invades all the hearts of a
household. His arrival almost brings fear to the good hearts that would
welcome him. The house is dusted, all things fly into their places, the
old coat is exchanged for the new, and they must get up a dinner if they
can. Of a commended stranger, only the good report is told by others, only
the good and new is heard by us. He stands to us for humanity. He is what
we wish. Having imagined and invested him, we ask how we should stand
related in conversation and action with such a man, and are uneasy with
fear. The same idea exalts conversation with him. We talk better than we
are wont. We have the nimblest fancy, a richer memory, and our dumb devil
has taken leave for the time. For long hours we can continue a series of
sincere, graceful, rich communications, drawn from the oldest, secretest
experience, so that they who sit by, of our own kinsfolk and acquaintance,
shall feel a lively surprise at our unusual powers. But as soon as the
stranger begins to intrude his partialities, his definitions, his defects,
into the conversation, it is all over. He has heard the first, the last
and best he will ever hear from us. He is no stranger now. Vulgarity,
ignorance, misapprehension are old acquaintances. Now, when he comes, he
may get the order, the dress and the dinner,—but the throbbing of
the heart and the communications of the soul, no more.</p>
<p>What is so pleasant as these jets of affection which make a young world
for me again? What so delicious as a just and firm encounter of two, in a
thought, in a feeling? How beautiful, on their approach to this beating
heart, the steps and forms of the gifted and the true! The moment we
indulge our affections, the earth is metamorphosed; there is no winter and
no night; all tragedies, all ennuis vanish,—all duties even; nothing
fills the proceeding eternity but the forms all radiant of beloved
persons. Let the soul be assured that somewhere in the universe it should
rejoin its friend, and it would be content and cheerful alone for a
thousand years.</p>
<p>I awoke this morning with devout thanksgiving for my friends, the old and
the new. Shall I not call God the Beautiful, who daily showeth himself so
to me in his gifts? I chide society, I embrace solitude, and yet I am not
so ungrateful as not to see the wise, the lovely and the noble-minded, as
from time to time they pass my gate. Who hears me, who understands me,
becomes mine,—a possession for all time. Nor is Nature so poor but
she gives me this joy several times, and thus we weave social threads of
our own, a new web of relations; and, as many thoughts in succession
substantiate themselves, we shall by and by stand in a new world of our
own creation, and no longer strangers and pilgrims in a traditionary
globe. My friends have come to me unsought. The great God gave them to me.
By oldest right, by the divine affinity of virtue with itself, I find
them, or rather not I but the Deity in me and in them derides and cancels
the thick walls of individual character, relation, age, sex, circumstance,
at which he usually connives, and now makes many one. High thanks I owe
you, excellent lovers, who carry out the world for me to new and noble
depths, and enlarge the meaning of all my thoughts. These are new poetry
of the first Bard,—poetry without stop,—hymn, ode and epic,
poetry still flowing, Apollo and the Muses chanting still. Will these too
separate themselves from me again, or some of them? I know not, but I fear
it not; for my relation to them is so pure, that we hold by simple
affinity, and the Genius of my life being thus social, the same affinity
will exert its energy on whomsoever is as noble as these men and women,
wherever I may be.</p>
<p>I confess to an extreme tenderness of nature on this point. It is almost
dangerous to me to "crush the sweet poison of misused wine" of the
affections. A new person is to me a great event and hinders me from sleep.
I have often had fine fancies about persons which have given me delicious
hours; but the joy ends in the day; it yields no fruit. Thought is not
born of it; my action is very little modified. I must feel pride in my
friend's accomplishments as if they were mine, and a property in his
virtues. I feel as warmly when he is praised, as the lover when he hears
applause of his engaged maiden. We over-estimate the conscience of our
friend. His goodness seems better than our goodness, his nature finer, his
temptations less. Every thing that is his,—his name, his form, his
dress, books and instruments,—fancy enhances. Our own thought sounds
new and larger from his mouth.</p>
<p>Yet the systole and diastole of the heart are not without their analogy in
the ebb and flow of love. Friendship, like the immortality of the soul, is
too good to be believed. The lover, beholding his maiden, half knows that
she is not verily that which he worships; and in the golden hour of
friendship we are surprised with shades of suspicion and unbelief. We
doubt that we bestow on our hero the virtues in which he shines, and
afterwards worship the form to which we have ascribed this divine
inhabitation. In strictness, the soul does not respect men as it respects
itself. In strict science all persons underlie the same condition of an
infinite remoteness. Shall we fear to cool our love by mining for the
metaphysical foundation of this Elysian temple? Shall I not be as real as
the things I see? If I am, I shall not fear to know them for what they
are. Their essence is not less beautiful than their appearance, though it
needs finer organs for its apprehension. The root of the plant is not
unsightly to science, though for chaplets and festoons we cut the stem
short. And I must hazard the production of the bald fact amidst these
pleasing reveries, though it should prove an Egyptian skull at our
banquet. A man who stands united with his thought conceives magnificently
of himself. He is conscious of a universal success, even though bought by
uniform particular failures. No advantages, no powers, no gold or force,
can be any match for him. I cannot choose but rely on my own poverty more
than on your wealth. I cannot make your consciousness tantamount to mine.
Only the star dazzles; the planet has a faint, moon-like ray. I hear what
you say of the admirable parts and tried temper of the party you praise,
but I see well that for all his purple cloaks I shall not like him, unless
he is at last a poor Greek like me. I cannot deny it, O friend, that the
vast shadow of the Phenomenal includes thee also in its pied and painted
immensity,—thee also, compared with whom all else is shadow. Thou
art not Being, as Truth is, as Justice is,—thou art not my soul, but
a picture and effigy of that. Thou hast come to me lately, and already
thou art seizing thy hat and cloak. Is it not that the soul puts forth
friends as the tree puts forth leaves, and presently, by the germination
of new buds, extrudes the old leaf? The law of nature is alternation for
evermore. Each electrical state superinduces the opposite. The soul
environs itself with friends that it may enter into a grander
self-acquaintance or solitude; and it goes alone for a season, that it may
exalt its conversation or society. This method betrays itself along the
whole history of our personal relations. The instinct of affection revives
the hope of union with our mates, and the returning sense of insulation
recalls us from the chase. Thus every man passes his life in the search
after friendship, and if he should record his true sentiment, he might
write a letter like this to each new candidate for his love:—</p>
<p>DEAR FRIEND,</p>
<p>If I was sure of thee, sure of thy capacity, sure to match my mood with
thine, I should never think again of trifles in relation to thy comings
and goings. I am not very wise; my moods are quite attainable, and I
respect thy genius; it is to me as yet unfathomed; yet dare I not presume
in thee a perfect intelligence of me, and so thou art to me a delicious
torment. Thine ever, or never.</p>
<p>Yet these uneasy pleasures and fine pains are for curiosity and not for
life. They are not to be indulged. This is to weave cobweb, and not cloth.
Our friendships hurry to short and poor conclusions, because we have made
them a texture of wine and dreams, instead of the tough fibre of the human
heart. The laws of friendship are austere and eternal, of one web with the
laws of nature and of morals. But we have aimed at a swift and petty
benefit, to suck a sudden sweetness. We snatch at the slowest fruit in the
whole garden of God, which many summers and many winters must ripen. We
seek our friend not sacredly, but with an adulterate passion which would
appropriate him to ourselves. In vain. We are armed all over with subtle
antagonisms, which, as soon as we meet, begin to play, and translate all
poetry into stale prose. Almost all people descend to meet. All
association must be a compromise, and, what is worst, the very flower and
aroma of the flower of each of the beautiful natures disappears as they
approach each other. What a perpetual disappointment is actual society,
even of the virtuous and gifted! After interviews have been compassed with
long foresight we must be tormented presently by baffled blows, by sudden,
unseasonable apathies, by epilepsies of wit and of animal spirits, in the
heyday of friendship and thought. Our faculties do not play us true, and
both parties are relieved by solitude.</p>
<p>I ought to be equal to every relation. It makes no difference how many
friends I have and what content I can find in conversing with each, if
there be one to whom I am not equal. If I have shrunk unequal from one
contest, the joy I find in all the rest becomes mean and cowardly. I
should hate myself, if then I made my other friends my asylum:—</p>
<p>"The valiant warrior famoused for fight,<br/>
After a hundred victories, once foiled,<br/>
Is from the book of honor razed quite,<br/>
And all the rest forgot for which he toiled."<br/></p>
<p>Our impatience is thus sharply rebuked. Bashfulness and apathy are a tough
husk in which a delicate organization is protected from premature
ripening. It would be lost if it knew itself before any of the best souls
were yet ripe enough to know and own it. Respect the naturlangsamkeit
which hardens the ruby in a million years, and works in duration in which
Alps and Andes come and go as rainbows. The good spirit of our life has no
heaven which is the price of rashness. Love, which is the essence of God,
is not for levity, but for the total worth of man. Let us not have this
childish luxury in our regards, but the austerest worth; let us approach
our friend with an audacious trust in the truth of his heart, in the
breadth, impossible to be overturned, of his foundations.</p>
<p>The attractions of this subject are not to be resisted, and I leave, for
the time, all account of subordinate social benefit, to speak of that
select and sacred relation which is a kind of absolute, and which even
leaves the language of love suspicious and common, so much is this purer,
and nothing is so much divine.</p>
<p>I do not wish to treat friendships daintily, but with roughest courage.
When they are real, they are not glass threads or frostwork, but the
solidest thing we know. For now, after so many ages of experience, what do
we know of nature or of ourselves? Not one step has man taken toward the
solution of the problem of his destiny. In one condemnation of folly stand
the whole universe of men. But the sweet sincerity of joy and peace which
I draw from this alliance with my brother's soul is the nut itself whereof
all nature and all thought is but the husk and shell. Happy is the house
that shelters a friend! It might well be built, like a festal bower or
arch, to entertain him a single day. Happier, if he know the solemnity of
that relation and honor its law! He who offers himself a candidate for
that covenant comes up, like an Olympian, to the great games where the
first-born of the world are the competitors. He proposes himself for
contests where Time, Want, Danger, are in the lists, and he alone is
victor who has truth enough in his constitution to preserve the delicacy
of his beauty from the wear and tear of all these. The gifts of fortune
may be present or absent, but all the speed in that contest depends on
intrinsic nobleness and the contempt of trifles. There are two elements
that go to the composition of friendship, each so sovereign that I can
detect no superiority in either, no reason why either should be first
named. One is truth. A friend is a person with whom I may be sincere.
Before him I may think aloud. I am arrived at last in the presence of a
man so real and equal that I may drop even those undermost garments of
dissimulation, courtesy, and second thought, which men never put off, and
may deal with him with the simplicity and wholeness with which one
chemical atom meets another. Sincerity is the luxury allowed, like diadems
and authority, only to the highest rank; that being permitted to speak
truth, as having none above it to court or conform unto. Every man alone
is sincere. At the entrance of a second person, hypocrisy begins. We parry
and fend the approach of our fellow-man by compliments, by gossip, by
amusements, by affairs. We cover up our thought from him under a hundred
folds. I knew a man who under a certain religious frenzy cast off this
drapery, and omitting all compliment and commonplace, spoke to the
conscience of every person he encountered, and that with great insight and
beauty. At first he was resisted, and all men agreed he was mad. But
persisting—as indeed he could not help doing—for some time in
this course, he attained to the advantage of bringing every man of his
acquaintance into true relations with him. No man would think of speaking
falsely with him, or of putting him off with any chat of markets or
reading-rooms. But every man was constrained by so much sincerity to the
like plaindealing, and what love of nature, what poetry, what symbol of
truth he had, he did certainly show him. But to most of us society shows
not its face and eye, but its side and its back. To stand in true
relations with men in a false age is worth a fit of insanity, is it not?
We can seldom go erect. Almost every man we meet requires some civility,—requires
to be humored; he has some fame, some talent, some whim of religion or
philanthropy in his head that is not to be questioned, and which spoils
all conversation with him. But a friend is a sane man who exercises not my
ingenuity, but me. My friend gives me entertainment without requiring any
stipulation on my part. A friend therefore is a sort of paradox in nature.
I who alone am, I who see nothing in nature whose existence I can affirm
with equal evidence to my own, behold now the semblance of my being, in
all its height, variety, and curiosity, reiterated in a foreign form; so
that a friend may well be reckoned the masterpiece of nature.</p>
<p>The other element of friendship is tenderness. We are holden to men by
every sort of tie, by blood, by pride, by fear, by hope, by lucre, by
lust, by hate, by admiration, by every circumstance and badge and trifle,—but
we can scarce believe that so much character can subsist in another as to
draw us by love. Can another be so blessed and we so pure that we can
offer him tenderness? When a man becomes dear to me I have touched the
goal of fortune. I find very little written directly to the heart of this
matter in books. And yet I have one text which I cannot choose but
remember. My author says,—"I offer myself faintly and bluntly to
those whose I effectually am, and tender myself least to him to whom I am
the most devoted." I wish that friendship should have feet, as well as
eyes and eloquence. It must plant itself on the ground, before it vaults
over the moon. I wish it to be a little of a citizen, before it is quite a
cherub. We chide the citizen because he makes love a commodity. It is an
exchange of gifts, of useful loans; it is good neighborhood; it watches
with the sick; it holds the pall at the funeral; and quite loses sight of
the delicacies and nobility of the relation. But though we cannot find the
god under this disguise of a sutler, yet on the other hand we cannot
forgive the poet if he spins his thread too fine and does not substantiate
his romance by the municipal virtues of justice, punctuality, fidelity and
pity. I hate the prostitution of the name of friendship to signify modish
and worldly alliances. I much prefer the company of ploughboys and
tin-peddlers to the silken and perfumed amity which celebrates its days of
encounter by a frivolous display, by rides in a curricle and dinners at
the best taverns. The end of friendship is a commerce the most strict and
homely that can be joined; more strict than any of which we have
experience. It is for aid and comfort through all the relations and
passages of life and death. It is fit for serene days and graceful gifts
and country rambles, but also for rough roads and hard fare, shipwreck,
poverty, and persecution. It keeps company with the sallies of the wit and
the trances of religion. We are to dignify to each other the daily needs
and offices of man's life, and embellish it by courage, wisdom and unity.
It should never fall into something usual and settled, but should be alert
and inventive and add rhyme and reason to what was drudgery.</p>
<p>Friendship may be said to require natures so rare and costly, each so well
tempered and so happily adapted, and withal so circumstanced (for even in
that particular, a poet says, love demands that the parties be altogether
paired), that its satisfaction can very seldom be assured. It cannot
subsist in its perfection, say some of those who are learned in this warm
lore of the heart, betwixt more than two. I am not quite so strict in my
terms, perhaps because I have never known so high a fellowship as others.
I please my imagination more with a circle of godlike men and women
variously related to each other and between whom subsists a lofty
intelligence. But I find this law of one to one peremptory for
conversation, which is the practice and consummation of friendship. Do not
mix waters too much. The best mix as ill as good and bad. You shall have
very useful and cheering discourse at several times with two several men,
but let all three of you come together and you shall not have one new and
hearty word. Two may talk and one may hear, but three cannot take part in
a conversation of the most sincere and searching sort. In good company
there is never such discourse between two, across the table, as takes
place when you leave them alone. In good company the individuals merge
their egotism into a social soul exactly co-extensive with the several
consciousnesses there present. No partialities of friend to friend, no
fondnesses of brother to sister, of wife to husband, are there pertinent,
but quite otherwise. Only he may then speak who can sail on the common
thought of the party, and not poorly limited to his own. Now this
convention, which good sense demands, destroys the high freedom of great
conversation, which requires an absolute running of two souls into one.</p>
<p>No two men but being left alone with each other enter into simpler
relations. Yet it is affinity that determines which two shall converse.
Unrelated men give little joy to each other, will never suspect the latent
powers of each. We talk sometimes of a great talent for conversation, as
if it were a permanent property in some individuals. Conversation is an
evanescent relation,—no more. A man is reputed to have thought and
eloquence; he cannot, for all that, say a word to his cousin or his uncle.
They accuse his silence with as much reason as they would blame the
insignificance of a dial in the shade. In the sun it will mark the hour.
Among those who enjoy his thought he will regain his tongue.</p>
<p>Friendship requires that rare mean betwixt likeness and unlikeness that
piques each with the presence of power and of consent in the other party.
Let me be alone to the end of the world, rather than that my friend should
overstep, by a word or a look, his real sympathy. I am equally balked by
antagonism and by compliance. Let him not cease an instant to be himself.
The only joy I have in his being mine, is that the not mine is mine. I
hate, where I looked for a manly furtherance, or at least a manly
resistance, to find a mush of concession. Better be a nettle in the side
of your friend than his echo. The condition which high friendship demands
is ability to do without it. That high office requires great and sublime
parts. There must be very two, before there can be very one. Let it be an
alliance of two large, formidable natures, mutually beheld, mutually
feared, before yet they recognize the deep identity which, beneath these
disparities, unites them.</p>
<p>He only is fit for this society who is magnanimous; who is sure that
greatness and goodness are always economy; who is not swift to intermeddle
with his fortunes. Let him not intermeddle with this. Leave to the diamond
its ages to grow, nor expect to accelerate the births of the eternal.
Friendship demands a religious treatment. We talk of choosing our friends,
but friends are self-elected. Reverence is a great part of it. Treat your
friend as a spectacle. Of course he has merits that are not yours, and
that you cannot honor if you must needs hold him close to your person.
Stand aside; give those merits room; let them mount and expand. Are you
the friend of your friend's buttons, or of his thought? To a great heart
he will still be a stranger in a thousand particulars, that he may come
near in the holiest ground. Leave it to girls and boys to regard a friend
as property, and to suck a short and all-confounding pleasure, instead of
the noblest benefit.</p>
<p>Let us buy our entrance to this guild by a long probation. Why should we
desecrate noble and beautiful souls by intruding on them? Why insist on
rash personal relations with your friend? Why go to his house, or know his
mother and brother and sisters? Why be visited by him at your own? Are
these things material to our covenant? Leave this touching and clawing.
Let him be to me a spirit. A message, a thought, a sincerity, a glance
from him, I want, but not news, nor pottage. I can get politics and chat
and neighborly conveniences from cheaper companions. Should not the
society of my friend be to me poetic, pure, universal and great as nature
itself? Ought I to feel that our tie is profane in comparison with yonder
bar of cloud that sleeps on the horizon, or that clump of waving grass
that divides the brook? Let us not vilify, but raise it to that standard.
That great defying eye, that scornful beauty of his mien and action, do
not pique yourself on reducing, but rather fortify and enhance. Worship
his superiorities; wish him not less by a thought, but hoard and tell them
all. Guard him as thy counterpart. Let him be to thee for ever a sort of
beautiful enemy, untamable, devoutly revered, and not a trivial
conveniency to be soon outgrown and cast aside. The hues of the opal, the
light of the diamond, are not to be seen if the eye is too near. To my
friend I write a letter and from him I receive a letter. That seems to you
a little. It suffices me. It is a spiritual gift worthy of him to give and
of me to receive. It profanes nobody. In these warm lines the heart will
trust itself, as it will not to the tongue, and pour out the prophecy of a
godlier existence than all the annals of heroism have yet made good.</p>
<p>Respect so far the holy laws of this fellowship as not to prejudice its
perfect flower by your impatience for its opening. We must be our own
before we can be another's. There is at least this satisfaction in crime,
according to the Latin proverb;—you can speak to your accomplice on
even terms. Crimen quos inquinat, aequat. To those whom we admire and
love, at first we cannot. Yet the least defect of self-possession
vitiates, in my judgment, the entire relation. There can never be deep
peace between two spirits, never mutual respect, until in their dialogue
each stands for the whole world.</p>
<p>What is so great as friendship, let us carry with what grandeur of spirit
we can. Let us be silent,—so we may hear the whisper of the gods.
Let us not interfere. Who set you to cast about what you should say to the
select souls, or how to say any thing to such? No matter how ingenious, no
matter how graceful and bland. There are innumerable degrees of folly and
wisdom, and for you to say aught is to be frivolous. Wait, and thy heart
shall speak. Wait until the necessary and everlasting overpowers you,
until day and night avail themselves of your lips. The only reward of
virtue is virtue; the only way to have a friend is to be one. You shall
not come nearer a man by getting into his house. If unlike, his soul only
flees the faster from you, and you shall never catch a true glance of his
eye. We see the noble afar off and they repel us; why should we intrude?
Late,—very late,—we perceive that no arrangements, no
introductions, no consuetudes or habits of society would be of any avail
to establish us in such relations with them as we desire,—but solely
the uprise of nature in us to the same degree it is in them; then shall we
meet as water with water; and if we should not meet them then, we shall
not want them, for we are already they. In the last analysis, love is only
the reflection of a man's own worthiness from other men. Men have
sometimes exchanged names with their friends, as if they would signify
that in their friend each loved his own soul.</p>
<p>The higher the style we demand of friendship, of course the less easy to
establish it with flesh and blood. We walk alone in the world. Friends
such as we desire are dreams and fables. But a sublime hope cheers ever
the faithful heart, that elsewhere, in other regions of the universal
power, souls are now acting, enduring, and daring, which can love us and
which we can love. We may congratulate ourselves that the period of
nonage, of follies, of blunders and of shame, is passed in solitude, and
when we are finished men we shall grasp heroic hands in heroic hands. Only
be admonished by what you already see, not to strike leagues of friendship
with cheap persons, where no friendship can be. Our impatience betrays us
into rash and foolish alliances which no god attends. By persisting in
your path, though you forfeit the little you gain the great. You
demonstrate yourself, so as to put yourself out of the reach of false
relations, and you draw to you the first-born of the world,—those
rare pilgrims whereof only one or two wander in nature at once, and before
whom the vulgar great show as spectres and shadows merely.</p>
<p>It is foolish to be afraid of making our ties too spiritual, as if so we
could lose any genuine love. Whatever correction of our popular views we
make from insight, nature will be sure to bear us out in, and though it
seem to rob us of some joy, will repay us with a greater. Let us feel if
we will the absolute insulation of man. We are sure that we have all in
us. We go to Europe, or we pursue persons, or we read books, in the
instinctive faith that these will call it out and reveal us to ourselves.
Beggars all. The persons are such as we; the Europe, an old faded garment
of dead persons; the books, their ghosts. Let us drop this idolatry. Let
us give over this mendicancy. Let us even bid our dearest friends
farewell, and defy them, saying, 'Who are you? Unhand me: I will be
dependent no more.' Ah! seest thou not, O brother, that thus we part only
to meet again on a higher platform, and only be more each other's because
we are more our own? A friend is Janus-faced; he looks to the past and the
future. He is the child of all my foregoing hours, the prophet of those to
come, and the harbinger of a greater friend.</p>
<p>I do then with my friends as I do with my books. I would have them where I
can find them, but I seldom use them. We must have society on our own
terms, and admit or exclude it on the slightest cause. I cannot afford to
speak much with my friend. If he is great he makes me so great that I
cannot descend to converse. In the great days, presentiments hover before
me in the firmament. I ought then to dedicate myself to them. I go in that
I may seize them, I go out that I may seize them. I fear only that I may
lose them receding into the sky in which now they are only a patch of
brighter light. Then, though I prize my friends, I cannot afford to talk
with them and study their visions, lest I lose my own. It would indeed
give me a certain household joy to quit this lofty seeking, this spiritual
astronomy or search of stars, and come down to warm sympathies with you;
but then I know well I shall mourn always the vanishing of my mighty gods.
It is true, next week I shall have languid moods, when I can well afford
to occupy myself with foreign objects; then I shall regret the lost
literature of your mind, and wish you were by my side again. But if you
come, perhaps you will fill my mind only with new visions; not with
yourself but with your lustres, and I shall not be able any more than now
to converse with you. So I will owe to my friends this evanescent
intercourse. I will receive from them not what they have but what they
are. They shall give me that which properly they cannot give, but which
emanates from them. But they shall not hold me by any relations less
subtile and pure. We will meet as though we met not, and part as though we
parted not.</p>
<p>It has seemed to me lately more possible than I knew, to carry a
friendship greatly, on one side, without due correspondence on the other.
Why should I cumber myself with regrets that the receiver is not
capacious? It never troubles the sun that some of his rays fall wide and
vain into ungrateful space, and only a small part on the reflecting
planet. Let your greatness educate the crude and cold companion. If he is
unequal he will presently pass away; but thou art enlarged by thy own
shining, and no longer a mate for frogs and worms, dost soar and burn with
the gods of the empyrean. It is thought a disgrace to love unrequited. But
the great will see that true love cannot be unrequited. True love
transcends the unworthy object and dwells and broods on the eternal, and
when the poor interposed mask crumbles, it is not sad, but feels rid of so
much earth and feels its independency the surer. Yet these things may
hardly be said without a sort of treachery to the relation. The essence of
friendship is entireness, a total magnanimity and trust. It must not
surmise or provide for infirmity. It treats its object as a god, that it
may deify both.</p>
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