<p><SPAN name="link2HCH0033" id="link2HCH0033"></SPAN></p>
<h2> CHAPTER XXXIII </h2>
<p>Considering that Mr. Hilbery lived in a house which was accurately
numbered in order with its fellows, and that he filled up forms, paid
rent, and had seven more years of tenancy to run, he had an excuse for
laying down laws for the conduct of those who lived in his house, and this
excuse, though profoundly inadequate, he found useful during the
interregnum of civilization with which he now found himself faced. In
obedience to those laws, Rodney disappeared; Cassandra was dispatched to
catch the eleven-thirty on Monday morning; Denham was seen no more; so
that only Katharine, the lawful occupant of the upper rooms, remained, and
Mr. Hilbery thought himself competent to see that she did nothing further
to compromise herself. As he bade her good morning next day he was aware
that he knew nothing of what she was thinking, but, as he reflected with
some bitterness, even this was an advance upon the ignorance of the
previous mornings. He went to his study, wrote, tore up, and wrote again a
letter to his wife, asking her to come back on account of domestic
difficulties which he specified at first, but in a later draft more
discreetly left unspecified. Even if she started the very moment that she
got it, he reflected, she would not be home till Tuesday night, and he
counted lugubriously the number of hours that he would have to spend in a
position of detestable authority alone with his daughter.</p>
<p>What was she doing now, he wondered, as he addressed the envelope to his
wife. He could not control the telephone. He could not play the spy. She
might be making any arrangements she chose. Yet the thought did not
disturb him so much as the strange, unpleasant, illicit atmosphere of the
whole scene with the young people the night before. His sense of
discomfort was almost physical.</p>
<p>Had he known it, Katharine was far enough withdrawn, both physically and
spiritually, from the telephone. She sat in her room with the dictionaries
spreading their wide leaves on the table before her, and all the pages
which they had concealed for so many years arranged in a pile. She worked
with the steady concentration that is produced by the successful effort to
think down some unwelcome thought by means of another thought. Having
absorbed the unwelcome thought, her mind went on with additional vigor,
derived from the victory; on a sheet of paper lines of figures and symbols
frequently and firmly written down marked the different stages of its
progress. And yet it was broad daylight; there were sounds of knocking and
sweeping, which proved that living people were at work on the other side
of the door, and the door, which could be thrown open in a second, was her
only protection against the world. But she had somehow risen to be
mistress in her own kingdom, assuming her sovereignty unconsciously.</p>
<p>Steps approached her unheard. It is true that they were steps that
lingered, divagated, and mounted with the deliberation natural to one past
sixty whose arms, moreover, are full of leaves and blossoms; but they came
on steadily, and soon a tap of laurel boughs against the door arrested
Katharine's pencil as it touched the page. She did not move, however, and
sat blank-eyed as if waiting for the interruption to cease. Instead, the
door opened. At first, she attached no meaning to the moving mass of green
which seemed to enter the room independently of any human agency. Then she
recognized parts of her mother's face and person behind the yellow flowers
and soft velvet of the palm-buds.</p>
<p>"From Shakespeare's tomb!" exclaimed Mrs. Hilbery, dropping the entire
mass upon the floor, with a gesture that seemed to indicate an act of
dedication. Then she flung her arms wide and embraced her daughter.</p>
<p>"Thank God, Katharine!" she exclaimed. "Thank God!" she repeated.</p>
<p>"You've come back?" said Katharine, very vaguely, standing up to receive
the embrace.</p>
<p>Although she recognized her mother's presence, she was very far from
taking part in the scene, and yet felt it to be amazingly appropriate that
her mother should be there, thanking God emphatically for unknown
blessings, and strewing the floor with flowers and leaves from
Shakespeare's tomb.</p>
<p>"Nothing else matters in the world!" Mrs. Hilbery continued. "Names aren't
everything; it's what we feel that's everything. I didn't want silly,
kind, interfering letters. I didn't want your father to tell me. I knew it
from the first. I prayed that it might be so."</p>
<p>"You knew it?" Katharine repeated her mother's words softly and vaguely,
looking past her. "How did you know it?" She began, like a child, to
finger a tassel hanging from her mother's cloak.</p>
<p>"The first evening you told me, Katharine. Oh, and thousands of times—dinner-parties—talking
about books—the way he came into the room—your voice when you
spoke of him."</p>
<p>Katharine seemed to consider each of these proofs separately. Then she
said gravely:</p>
<p>"I'm not going to marry William. And then there's Cassandra—"</p>
<p>"Yes, there's Cassandra," said Mrs. Hilbery. "I own I was a little
grudging at first, but, after all, she plays the piano so beautifully. Do
tell me, Katharine," she asked impulsively, "where did you go that evening
she played Mozart, and you thought I was asleep?"</p>
<p>Katharine recollected with difficulty.</p>
<p>"To Mary Datchet's," she remembered.</p>
<p>"Ah!" said Mrs. Hilbery, with a slight note of disappointment in her
voice. "I had my little romance—my little speculation." She looked
at her daughter. Katharine faltered beneath that innocent and penetrating
gaze; she flushed, turned away, and then looked up with very bright eyes.</p>
<p>"I'm not in love with Ralph Denham," she said.</p>
<p>"Don't marry unless you're in love!" said Mrs. Hilbery very quickly.
"But," she added, glancing momentarily at her daughter, "aren't there
different ways, Katharine—different—?"</p>
<p>"We want to meet as often as we like, but to be free," Katharine
continued.</p>
<p>"To meet here, to meet in his house, to meet in the street." Mrs. Hilbery
ran over these phrases as if she were trying chords that did not quite
satisfy her ear. It was plain that she had her sources of information,
and, indeed, her bag was stuffed with what she called "kind letters" from
the pen of her sister-in-law.</p>
<p>"Yes. Or to stay away in the country," Katharine concluded.</p>
<p>Mrs. Hilbery paused, looked unhappy, and sought inspiration from the
window.</p>
<p>"What a comfort he was in that shop—how he took me and found the
ruins at once—how SAFE I felt with him—"</p>
<p>"Safe? Oh, no, he's fearfully rash—he's always taking risks. He
wants to throw up his profession and live in a little cottage and write
books, though he hasn't a penny of his own, and there are any number of
sisters and brothers dependent on him."</p>
<p>"Ah, he has a mother?" Mrs. Hilbery inquired.</p>
<p>"Yes. Rather a fine-looking old lady, with white hair." Katharine began to
describe her visit, and soon Mrs. Hilbery elicited the facts that not only
was the house of excruciating ugliness, which Ralph bore without
complaint, but that it was evident that every one depended on him, and he
had a room at the top of the house, with a wonderful view over London, and
a rook.</p>
<p>"A wretched old bird in a corner, with half its feathers out," she said,
with a tenderness in her voice that seemed to commiserate the sufferings
of humanity while resting assured in the capacity of Ralph Denham to
alleviate them, so that Mrs. Hilbery could not help exclaiming:</p>
<p>"But, Katharine, you ARE in love!" at which Katharine flushed, looked
startled, as if she had said something that she ought not to have said,
and shook her head.</p>
<p>Hastily Mrs. Hilbery asked for further details of this extraordinary
house, and interposed a few speculations about the meeting between Keats
and Coleridge in a lane, which tided over the discomfort of the moment,
and drew Katharine on to further descriptions and indiscretions. In truth,
she found an extraordinary pleasure in being thus free to talk to some one
who was equally wise and equally benignant, the mother of her earliest
childhood, whose silence seemed to answer questions that were never asked.
Mrs. Hilbery listened without making any remark for a considerable time.
She seemed to draw her conclusions rather by looking at her daughter than
by listening to her, and, if cross-examined, she would probably have given
a highly inaccurate version of Ralph Denham's life-history except that he
was penniless, fatherless, and lived at Highgate—all of which was
much in his favor. But by means of these furtive glances she had assured
herself that Katharine was in a state which gave her, alternately, the
most exquisite pleasure and the most profound alarm.</p>
<p>She could not help ejaculating at last:</p>
<p>"It's all done in five minutes at a Registry Office nowadays, if you think
the Church service a little florid—which it is, though there are
noble things in it."</p>
<p>"But we don't want to be married," Katharine replied emphatically, and
added, "Why, after all, isn't it perfectly possible to live together
without being married?"</p>
<p>Again Mrs. Hilbery looked discomposed, and, in her trouble, took up the
sheets which were lying upon the table, and began turning them over this
way and that, and muttering to herself as she glanced:</p>
<p>"A plus B minus C equals 'x y z'. It's so dreadfully ugly, Katharine.
That's what I feel—so dreadfully ugly."</p>
<p>Katharine took the sheets from her mother's hand and began shuffling them
absent-mindedly together, for her fixed gaze seemed to show that her
thoughts were intent upon some other matter.</p>
<p>"Well, I don't know about ugliness," she said at length.</p>
<p>"But he doesn't ask it of you?" Mrs. Hilbery exclaimed. "Not that grave
young man with the steady brown eyes?"</p>
<p>"He doesn't ask anything—we neither of us ask anything."</p>
<p>"If I could help you, Katharine, by the memory of what I felt—"</p>
<p>"Yes, tell me what you felt."</p>
<p>Mrs. Hilbery, her eyes growing blank, peered down the enormously long
corridor of days at the far end of which the little figures of herself and
her husband appeared fantastically attired, clasping hands upon a moonlit
beach, with roses swinging in the dusk.</p>
<p>"We were in a little boat going out to a ship at night," she began. "The
sun had set and the moon was rising over our heads. There were lovely
silver lights upon the waves and three green lights upon the steamer in
the middle of the bay. Your father's head looked so grand against the
mast. It was life, it was death. The great sea was round us. It was the
voyage for ever and ever."</p>
<p>The ancient fairy-tale fell roundly and harmoniously upon Katharine's
ears. Yes, there was the enormous space of the sea; there were the three
green lights upon the steamer; the cloaked figures climbed up on deck. And
so, voyaging over the green and purple waters, past the cliffs and the
sandy lagoons and through pools crowded with the masts of ships and the
steeples of churches—here they were. The river seemed to have
brought them and deposited them here at this precise point. She looked
admiringly at her mother, that ancient voyager.</p>
<p>"Who knows," exclaimed Mrs. Hilbery, continuing her reveries, "where we
are bound for, or why, or who has sent us, or what we shall find—who
knows anything, except that love is our faith—love—" she
crooned, and the soft sound beating through the dim words was heard by her
daughter as the breaking of waves solemnly in order upon the vast shore
that she gazed upon. She would have been content for her mother to repeat
that word almost indefinitely—a soothing word when uttered by
another, a riveting together of the shattered fragments of the world. But
Mrs. Hilbery, instead of repeating the word love, said pleadingly:</p>
<p>"And you won't think those ugly thoughts again, will you, Katharine?" at
which words the ship which Katharine had been considering seemed to put
into harbor and have done with its seafaring. Yet she was in great need,
if not exactly of sympathy, of some form of advice, or, at least, of the
opportunity of setting forth her problems before a third person so as to
renew them in her own eyes.</p>
<p>"But then," she said, ignoring the difficult problem of ugliness, "you
knew you were in love; but we're different. It seems," she continued,
frowning a little as she tried to fix the difficult feeling, "as if
something came to an end suddenly—gave out—faded—an
illusion—as if when we think we're in love we make it up—we
imagine what doesn't exist. That's why it's impossible that we should ever
marry. Always to be finding the other an illusion, and going off and
forgetting about them, never to be certain that you cared, or that he
wasn't caring for some one not you at all, the horror of changing from one
state to the other, being happy one moment and miserable the next—that's
the reason why we can't possibly marry. At the same time," she continued,
"we can't live without each other, because—" Mrs. Hilbery waited
patiently for the sentence to be completed, but Katharine fell silent and
fingered her sheet of figures.</p>
<p>"We have to have faith in our vision," Mrs. Hilbery resumed, glancing at
the figures, which distressed her vaguely, and had some connection in her
mind with the household accounts, "otherwise, as you say—" She cast
a lightning glance into the depths of disillusionment which were, perhaps,
not altogether unknown to her.</p>
<p>"Believe me, Katharine, it's the same for every one—for me, too—for
your father," she said earnestly, and sighed. They looked together into
the abyss and, as the elder of the two, she recovered herself first and
asked:</p>
<p>"But where is Ralph? Why isn't he here to see me?"</p>
<p>Katharine's expression changed instantly.</p>
<p>"Because he's not allowed to come here," she replied bitterly.</p>
<p>Mrs. Hilbery brushed this aside.</p>
<p>"Would there be time to send for him before luncheon?" she asked.</p>
<p>Katharine looked at her as if, indeed, she were some magician. Once more
she felt that instead of being a grown woman, used to advise and command,
she was only a foot or two raised above the long grass and the little
flowers and entirely dependent upon the figure of indefinite size whose
head went up into the sky, whose hand was in hers, for guidance.</p>
<p>"I'm not happy without him," she said simply.</p>
<p>Mrs. Hilbery nodded her head in a manner which indicated complete
understanding, and the immediate conception of certain plans for the
future. She swept up her flowers, breathed in their sweetness, and,
humming a little song about a miller's daughter, left the room.</p>
<p>The case upon which Ralph Denham was engaged that afternoon was not
apparently receiving his full attention, and yet the affairs of the late
John Leake of Dublin were sufficiently confused to need all the care that
a solicitor could bestow upon them, if the widow Leake and the five Leake
children of tender age were to receive any pittance at all. But the appeal
to Ralph's humanity had little chance of being heard to-day; he was no
longer a model of concentration. The partition so carefully erected
between the different sections of his life had been broken down, with the
result that though his eyes were fixed upon the last Will and Testament,
he saw through the page a certain drawing-room in Cheyne Walk.</p>
<p>He tried every device that had proved effective in the past for keeping up
the partitions of the mind, until he could decently go home; but a little
to his alarm he found himself assailed so persistently, as if from
outside, by Katharine, that he launched forth desperately into an
imaginary interview with her. She obliterated a bookcase full of law
reports, and the corners and lines of the room underwent a curious
softening of outline like that which sometimes makes a room unfamiliar at
the moment of waking from sleep. By degrees, a pulse or stress began to
beat at regular intervals in his mind, heaping his thoughts into waves to
which words fitted themselves, and without much consciousness of what he
was doing, he began to write on a sheet of draft paper what had the
appearance of a poem lacking several words in each line. Not many lines
had been set down, however, before he threw away his pen as violently as
if that were responsible for his misdeeds, and tore the paper into many
separate pieces. This was a sign that Katharine had asserted herself and
put to him a remark that could not be met poetically. Her remark was
entirely destructive of poetry, since it was to the effect that poetry had
nothing whatever to do with her; all her friends spent their lives in
making up phrases, she said; all his feeling was an illusion, and next
moment, as if to taunt him with his impotence, she had sunk into one of
those dreamy states which took no account whatever of his existence. Ralph
was roused by his passionate attempts to attract her attention to the fact
that he was standing in the middle of his little private room in Lincoln's
Inn Fields at a considerable distance from Chelsea. The physical distance
increased his desperation. He began pacing in circles until the process
sickened him, and then took a sheet of paper for the composition of a
letter which, he vowed before he began it, should be sent that same
evening.</p>
<p>It was a difficult matter to put into words; poetry would have done it
better justice, but he must abstain from poetry. In an infinite number of
half-obliterated scratches he tried to convey to her the possibility that
although human beings are woefully ill-adapted for communication, still,
such communion is the best we know; moreover, they make it possible for
each to have access to another world independent of personal affairs, a
world of law, of philosophy, or more strangely a world such as he had had
a glimpse of the other evening when together they seemed to be sharing
something, creating something, an ideal—a vision flung out in
advance of our actual circumstances. If this golden rim were quenched, if
life were no longer circled by an illusion (but was it an illusion after
all?), then it would be too dismal an affair to carry to an end; so he
wrote with a sudden spurt of conviction which made clear way for a space
and left at least one sentence standing whole. Making every allowance for
other desires, on the whole this conclusion appeared to him to justify
their relationship. But the conclusion was mystical; it plunged him into
thought. The difficulty with which even this amount was written, the
inadequacy of the words, and the need of writing under them and over them
others which, after all, did no better, led him to leave off before he was
at all satisfied with his production, and unable to resist the conviction
that such rambling would never be fit for Katharine's eye. He felt himself
more cut off from her than ever. In idleness, and because he could do
nothing further with words, he began to draw little figures in the blank
spaces, heads meant to resemble her head, blots fringed with flames meant
to represent—perhaps the entire universe. From this occupation he
was roused by the message that a lady wished to speak to him. He had
scarcely time to run his hands through his hair in order to look as much
like a solicitor as possible, and to cram his papers into his pocket,
already overcome with shame that another eye should behold them, when he
realized that his preparations were needless. The lady was Mrs. Hilbery.</p>
<p>"I hope you're not disposing of somebody's fortune in a hurry," she
remarked, gazing at the documents on his table, "or cutting off an entail
at one blow, because I want to ask you to do me a favor. And Anderson
won't keep his horse waiting. (Anderson is a perfect tyrant, but he drove
my dear father to the Abbey the day they buried him.) I made bold to come
to you, Mr. Denham, not exactly in search of legal assistance (though I
don't know who I'd rather come to, if I were in trouble), but in order to
ask your help in settling some tiresome little domestic affairs that have
arisen in my absence. I've been to Stratford-on-Avon (I must tell you all
about that one of these days), and there I got a letter from my
sister-in-law, a dear kind goose who likes interfering with other people's
children because she's got none of her own. (We're dreadfully afraid that
she's going to lose the sight of one of her eyes, and I always feel that
our physical ailments are so apt to turn into mental ailments. I think
Matthew Arnold says something of the same kind about Lord Byron.) But
that's neither here nor there."</p>
<p>The effect of these parentheses, whether they were introduced for that
purpose or represented a natural instinct on Mrs. Hilbery's part to
embellish the bareness of her discourse, gave Ralph time to perceive that
she possessed all the facts of their situation and was come, somehow, in
the capacity of ambassador.</p>
<p>"I didn't come here to talk about Lord Byron," Mrs. Hilbery continued,
with a little laugh, "though I know that both you and Katharine, unlike
other young people of your generation, still find him worth reading." She
paused. "I'm so glad you've made Katharine read poetry, Mr. Denham!" she
exclaimed, "and feel poetry, and look poetry! She can't talk it yet, but
she will—oh, she will!"</p>
<p>Ralph, whose hand was grasped and whose tongue almost refused to
articulate, somehow contrived to say that there were moments when he felt
hopeless, utterly hopeless, though he gave no reason for this statement on
his part.</p>
<p>"But you care for her?" Mrs. Hilbery inquired.</p>
<p>"Good God!" he exclaimed, with a vehemence which admitted of no question.</p>
<p>"It's the Church of England service you both object to?" Mrs. Hilbery
inquired innocently.</p>
<p>"I don't care a damn what service it is," Ralph replied.</p>
<p>"You would marry her in Westminster Abbey if the worst came to the worst?"
Mrs. Hilbery inquired.</p>
<p>"I would marry her in St. Paul's Cathedral," Ralph replied. His doubts
upon this point, which were always roused by Katharine's presence, had
vanished completely, and his strongest wish in the world was to be with
her immediately, since every second he was away from her he imagined her
slipping farther and farther from him into one of those states of mind in
which he was unrepresented. He wished to dominate her, to possess her.</p>
<p>"Thank God!" exclaimed Mrs. Hilbery. She thanked Him for a variety of
blessings: for the conviction with which the young man spoke; and not
least for the prospect that on her daughter's wedding-day the noble
cadences, the stately periods, the ancient eloquence of the marriage
service would resound over the heads of a distinguished congregation
gathered together near the very spot where her father lay quiescent with
the other poets of England. The tears filled her eyes; but she remembered
simultaneously that her carriage was waiting, and with dim eyes she walked
to the door. Denham followed her downstairs.</p>
<p>It was a strange drive. For Denham it was without exception the most
unpleasant he had ever taken. His only wish was to go as straightly and
quickly as possible to Cheyne Walk; but it soon appeared that Mrs. Hilbery
either ignored or thought fit to baffle this desire by interposing various
errands of her own. She stopped the carriage at post-offices, and
coffee-shops, and shops of inscrutable dignity where the aged attendants
had to be greeted as old friends; and, catching sight of the dome of St.
Paul's above the irregular spires of Ludgate Hill, she pulled the cord
impulsively, and gave directions that Anderson should drive them there.
But Anderson had reasons of his own for discouraging afternoon worship,
and kept his horse's nose obstinately towards the west. After some
minutes, Mrs. Hilbery realized the situation, and accepted it
good-humoredly, apologizing to Ralph for his disappointment.</p>
<p>"Never mind," she said, "we'll go to St. Paul's another day, and it may
turn out, though I can't promise that it WILL, that he'll take us past
Westminster Abbey, which would be even better."</p>
<p>Ralph was scarcely aware of what she went on to say. Her mind and body
both seemed to have floated into another region of quick-sailing clouds
rapidly passing across each other and enveloping everything in a vaporous
indistinctness. Meanwhile he remained conscious of his own concentrated
desire, his impotence to bring about anything he wished, and his
increasing agony of impatience.</p>
<p>Suddenly Mrs. Hilbery pulled the cord with such decision that even
Anderson had to listen to the order which she leant out of the window to
give him. The carriage pulled up abruptly in the middle of Whitehall
before a large building dedicated to one of our Government offices. In a
second Mrs. Hilbery was mounting the steps, and Ralph was left in too
acute an irritation by this further delay even to speculate what errand
took her now to the Board of Education. He was about to jump from the
carriage and take a cab, when Mrs. Hilbery reappeared talking genially to
a figure who remained hidden behind her.</p>
<p>"There's plenty of room for us all," she was saying. "Plenty of room. We
could find space for FOUR of you, William," she added, opening the door,
and Ralph found that Rodney had now joined their company. The two men
glanced at each other. If distress, shame, discomfort in its most acute
form were ever visible upon a human face, Ralph could read them all
expressed beyond the eloquence of words upon the face of his unfortunate
companion. But Mrs. Hilbery was either completely unseeing or determined
to appear so. She went on talking; she talked, it seemed to both the young
men, to some one outside, up in the air. She talked about Shakespeare, she
apostrophized the human race, she proclaimed the virtues of divine poetry,
she began to recite verses which broke down in the middle. The great
advantage of her discourse was that it was self-supporting. It nourished
itself until Cheyne Walk was reached upon half a dozen grunts and murmurs.</p>
<p>"Now," she said, alighting briskly at her door, "here we are!"</p>
<p>There was something airy and ironical in her voice and expression as she
turned upon the doorstep and looked at them, which filled both Rodney and
Denham with the same misgivings at having trusted their fortunes to such
an ambassador; and Rodney actually hesitated upon the threshold and
murmured to Denham:</p>
<p>"You go in, Denham. I..." He was turning tail, but the door opening and
the familiar look of the house asserting its charm, he bolted in on the
wake of the others, and the door shut upon his escape. Mrs. Hilbery led
the way upstairs. She took them to the drawing-room. The fire burnt as
usual, the little tables were laid with china and silver. There was nobody
there.</p>
<p>"Ah," she said, "Katharine's not here. She must be upstairs in her room.
You have something to say to her, I know, Mr. Denham. You can find your
way?" she vaguely indicated the ceiling with a gesture of her hand. She
had become suddenly serious and composed, mistress in her own house. The
gesture with which she dismissed him had a dignity that Ralph never
forgot. She seemed to make him free with a wave of her hand to all that
she possessed. He left the room.</p>
<p>The Hilberys' house was tall, possessing many stories and passages with
closed doors, all, once he had passed the drawing-room floor, unknown to
Ralph. He mounted as high as he could and knocked at the first door he
came to.</p>
<p>"May I come in?" he asked.</p>
<p>A voice from within answered "Yes."</p>
<p>He was conscious of a large window, full of light, of a bare table, and of
a long looking-glass. Katharine had risen, and was standing with some
white papers in her hand, which slowly fluttered to the ground as she saw
her visitor. The explanation was a short one. The sounds were
inarticulate; no one could have understood the meaning save themselves. As
if the forces of the world were all at work to tear them asunder they sat,
clasping hands, near enough to be taken even by the malicious eye of Time
himself for a united couple, an indivisible unit.</p>
<p>"Don't move, don't go," she begged of him, when he stooped to gather the
papers she had let fall. But he took them in his hands and, giving her by
a sudden impulse his own unfinished dissertation, with its mystical
conclusion, they read each other's compositions in silence.</p>
<p>Katharine read his sheets to an end; Ralph followed her figures as far as
his mathematics would let him. They came to the end of their tasks at
about the same moment, and sat for a time in silence.</p>
<p>"Those were the papers you left on the seat at Kew," said Ralph at length.
"You folded them so quickly that I couldn't see what they were."</p>
<p>She blushed very deeply; but as she did not move or attempt to hide her
face she had the appearance of some one disarmed of all defences, or Ralph
likened her to a wild bird just settling with wings trembling to fold
themselves within reach of his hand. The moment of exposure had been
exquisitely painful—the light shed startlingly vivid. She had now to
get used to the fact that some one shared her loneliness. The bewilderment
was half shame and half the prelude to profound rejoicing. Nor was she
unconscious that on the surface the whole thing must appear of the utmost
absurdity. She looked to see whether Ralph smiled, but found his gaze
fixed on her with such gravity that she turned to the belief that she had
committed no sacrilege but enriched herself, perhaps immeasurably, perhaps
eternally. She hardly dared steep herself in the infinite bliss. But his
glance seemed to ask for some assurance upon another point of vital
interest to him. It beseeched her mutely to tell him whether what she had
read upon his confused sheet had any meaning or truth to her. She bent her
head once more to the papers she held.</p>
<p>"I like your little dot with the flames round it," she said meditatively.</p>
<p>Ralph nearly tore the page from her hand in shame and despair when he saw
her actually contemplating the idiotic symbol of his most confused and
emotional moments.</p>
<p>He was convinced that it could mean nothing to another, although somehow
to him it conveyed not only Katharine herself but all those states of mind
which had clustered round her since he first saw her pouring out tea on a
Sunday afternoon. It represented by its circumference of smudges
surrounding a central blot all that encircling glow which for him
surrounded, inexplicably, so many of the objects of life, softening their
sharp outline, so that he could see certain streets, books, and situations
wearing a halo almost perceptible to the physical eye. Did she smile? Did
she put the paper down wearily, condemning it not only for its inadequacy
but for its falsity? Was she going to protest once more that he only loved
the vision of her? But it did not occur to her that this diagram had
anything to do with her. She said simply, and in the same tone of
reflection:</p>
<p>"Yes, the world looks something like that to me too."</p>
<p>He received her assurance with profound joy. Quietly and steadily there
rose up behind the whole aspect of life that soft edge of fire which gave
its red tint to the atmosphere and crowded the scene with shadows so deep
and dark that one could fancy pushing farther into their density and still
farther, exploring indefinitely. Whether there was any correspondence
between the two prospects now opening before them they shared the same
sense of the impending future, vast, mysterious, infinitely stored with
undeveloped shapes which each would unwrap for the other to behold; but
for the present the prospect of the future was enough to fill them with
silent adoration. At any rate, their further attempts to communicate
articulately were interrupted by a knock on the door, and the entrance of
a maid who, with a due sense of mystery, announced that a lady wished to
see Miss Hilbery, but refused to allow her name to be given.</p>
<p>When Katharine rose, with a profound sigh, to resume her duties, Ralph
went with her, and neither of them formulated any guess, on their way
downstairs, as to who this anonymous lady might prove to be. Perhaps the
fantastic notion that she was a little black hunchback provided with a
steel knife, which she would plunge into Katharine's heart, appeared to
Ralph more probable than another, and he pushed first into the dining-room
to avert the blow. Then he exclaimed "Cassandra!" with such heartiness at
the sight of Cassandra Otway standing by the dining-room table that she
put her finger to her lips and begged him to be quiet.</p>
<p>"Nobody must know I'm here," she explained in a sepulchral whisper. "I
missed my train. I have been wandering about London all day. I can bear it
no longer. Katharine, what am I to do?"</p>
<p>Katharine pushed forward a chair; Ralph hastily found wine and poured it
out for her. If not actually fainting, she was very near it.</p>
<p>"William's upstairs," said Ralph, as soon as she appeared to be recovered.
"I'll go and ask him to come down to you." His own happiness had given him
a confidence that every one else was bound to be happy too. But Cassandra
had her uncle's commands and anger too vividly in her mind to dare any
such defiance. She became agitated and said that she must leave the house
at once. She was not in a condition to go, had they known where to send
her. Katharine's common sense, which had been in abeyance for the past
week or two, still failed her, and she could only ask, "But where's your
luggage?" in the vague belief that to take lodgings depended entirely upon
a sufficiency of luggage. Cassandra's reply, "I've lost my luggage," in no
way helped her to a conclusion.</p>
<p>"You've lost your luggage," she repeated. Her eyes rested upon Ralph, with
an expression which seemed better fitted to accompany a profound
thanksgiving for his existence or some vow of eternal devotion than a
question about luggage. Cassandra perceived the look, and saw that it was
returned; her eyes filled with tears. She faltered in what she was saying.
She began bravely again to discuss the question of lodging when Katharine,
who seemed to have communicated silently with Ralph, and obtained his
permission, took her ruby ring from her finger and giving it to Cassandra,
said: "I believe it will fit you without any alteration."</p>
<p>These words would not have been enough to convince Cassandra of what she
very much wished to believe had not Ralph taken the bare hand in his and
demanded:</p>
<p>"Why don't you tell us you're glad?" Cassandra was so glad that the tears
ran down her cheeks. The certainty of Katharine's engagement not only
relieved her of a thousand vague fears and self-reproaches, but entirely
quenched that spirit of criticism which had lately impaired her belief in
Katharine. Her old faith came back to her. She seemed to behold her with
that curious intensity which she had lost; as a being who walks just
beyond our sphere, so that life in their presence is a heightened process,
illuminating not only ourselves but a considerable stretch of the
surrounding world. Next moment she contrasted her own lot with theirs and
gave back the ring.</p>
<p>"I won't take that unless William gives it me himself," she said. "Keep it
for me, Katharine."</p>
<p>"I assure you everything's perfectly all right," said Ralph. "Let me tell
William—"</p>
<p>He was about, in spite of Cassandra's protest, to reach the door, when
Mrs. Hilbery, either warned by the parlor-maid or conscious with her usual
prescience of the need for her intervention, opened the door and smilingly
surveyed them.</p>
<p>"My dear Cassandra!" she exclaimed. "How delightful to see you back again!
What a coincidence!" she observed, in a general way. "William is upstairs.
The kettle boils over. Where's Katharine, I say? I go to look, and I find
Cassandra!" She seemed to have proved something to her own satisfaction,
although nobody felt certain what thing precisely it was.</p>
<p>"I find Cassandra," she repeated.</p>
<p>"She missed her train," Katharine interposed, seeing that Cassandra was
unable to speak.</p>
<p>"Life," began Mrs. Hilbery, drawing inspiration from the portraits on the
wall apparently, "consists in missing trains and in finding—" But
she pulled herself up and remarked that the kettle must have boiled
completely over everything.</p>
<p>To Katharine's agitated mind it appeared that this kettle was an enormous
kettle, capable of deluging the house in its incessant showers of steam,
the enraged representative of all those household duties which she had
neglected. She ran hastily up to the drawing-room, and the rest followed
her, for Mrs. Hilbery put her arm round Cassandra and drew her upstairs.
They found Rodney observing the kettle with uneasiness but with such
absence of mind that Katharine's catastrophe was in a fair way to be
fulfilled. In putting the matter straight no greetings were exchanged, but
Rodney and Cassandra chose seats as far apart as possible, and sat down
with an air of people making a very temporary lodgment. Either Mrs.
Hilbery was impervious to their discomfort, or chose to ignore it, or
thought it high time that the subject was changed, for she did nothing but
talk about Shakespeare's tomb.</p>
<p>"So much earth and so much water and that sublime spirit brooding over it
all," she mused, and went on to sing her strange, half-earthly song of
dawns and sunsets, of great poets, and the unchanged spirit of noble
loving which they had taught, so that nothing changes, and one age is
linked with another, and no one dies, and we all meet in spirit, until she
appeared oblivious of any one in the room. But suddenly her remarks seemed
to contract the enormously wide circle in which they were soaring and to
alight, airily and temporarily, upon matters of more immediate moment.</p>
<p>"Katharine and Ralph," she said, as if to try the sound. "William and
Cassandra."</p>
<p>"I feel myself in an entirely false position," said William desperately,
thrusting himself into this breach in her reflections. "I've no right to
be sitting here. Mr. Hilbery told me yesterday to leave the house. I'd no
intention of coming back again. I shall now—"</p>
<p>"I feel the same too," Cassandra interrupted. "After what Uncle Trevor
said to me last night—"</p>
<p>"I have put you into a most odious position," Rodney went on, rising from
his seat, in which movement he was imitated simultaneously by Cassandra.
"Until I have your father's consent I have no right to speak to you—let
alone in this house, where my conduct"—he looked at Katharine,
stammered, and fell silent—"where my conduct has been reprehensible
and inexcusable in the extreme," he forced himself to continue. "I have
explained everything to your mother. She is so generous as to try and make
me believe that I have done no harm—you have convinced her that my
behavior, selfish and weak as it was—selfish and weak—" he
repeated, like a speaker who has lost his notes.</p>
<p>Two emotions seemed to be struggling in Katharine; one the desire to laugh
at the ridiculous spectacle of William making her a formal speech across
the tea-table, the other a desire to weep at the sight of something
childlike and honest in him which touched her inexpressibly. To every
one's surprise she rose, stretched out her hand, and said:</p>
<p>"You've nothing to reproach yourself with—you've been always—"
but here her voice died away, and the tears forced themselves into her
eyes, and ran down her cheeks, while William, equally moved, seized her
hand and pressed it to his lips. No one perceived that the drawing-room
door had opened itself sufficiently to admit at least half the person of
Mr. Hilbery, or saw him gaze at the scene round the tea-table with an
expression of the utmost disgust and expostulation. He withdrew unseen. He
paused outside on the landing trying to recover his self-control and to
decide what course he might with most dignity pursue. It was obvious to
him that his wife had entirely confused the meaning of his instructions.
She had plunged them all into the most odious confusion. He waited a
moment, and then, with much preliminary rattling of the handle, opened the
door a second time. They had all regained their places; some incident of
an absurd nature had now set them laughing and looking under the table, so
that his entrance passed momentarily unperceived. Katharine, with flushed
cheeks, raised her head and said:</p>
<p>"Well, that's my last attempt at the dramatic."</p>
<p>"It's astonishing what a distance they roll," said Ralph, stooping to turn
up the corner of the hearthrug.</p>
<p>"Don't trouble—don't bother. We shall find it—" Mrs. Hilbery
began, and then saw her husband and exclaimed: "Oh, Trevor, we're looking
for Cassandra's engagement-ring!"</p>
<p>Mr. Hilbery looked instinctively at the carpet. Remarkably enough, the
ring had rolled to the very point where he stood. He saw the rubies
touching the tip of his boot. Such is the force of habit that he could not
refrain from stooping, with an absurd little thrill of pleasure at being
the one to find what others were looking for, and, picking the ring up, he
presented it, with a bow that was courtly in the extreme, to Cassandra.
Whether the making of a bow released automatically feelings of
complaisance and urbanity, Mr. Hilbery found his resentment completely
washed away during the second in which he bent and straightened himself.
Cassandra dared to offer her cheek and received his embrace. He nodded
with some degree of stiffness to Rodney and Denham, who had both risen
upon seeing him, and now altogether sat down. Mrs. Hilbery seemed to have
been waiting for the entrance of her husband, and for this precise moment
in order to put to him a question which, from the ardor with which she
announced it, had evidently been pressing for utterance for some time
past.</p>
<p>"Oh, Trevor, please tell me, what was the date of the first performance of
'Hamlet'?"</p>
<p>In order to answer her Mr. Hilbery had to have recourse to the exact
scholarship of William Rodney, and before he had given his excellent
authorities for believing as he believed, Rodney felt himself admitted
once more to the society of the civilized and sanctioned by the authority
of no less a person than Shakespeare himself. The power of literature,
which had temporarily deserted Mr. Hilbery, now came back to him, pouring
over the raw ugliness of human affairs its soothing balm, and providing a
form into which such passions as he had felt so painfully the night before
could be molded so that they fell roundly from the tongue in shapely
phrases, hurting nobody. He was sufficiently sure of his command of
language at length to look at Katharine and again at Denham. All this talk
about Shakespeare had acted as a soporific, or rather as an incantation
upon Katharine. She leaned back in her chair at the head of the tea-table,
perfectly silent, looking vaguely past them all, receiving the most
generalized ideas of human heads against pictures, against yellow-tinted
walls, against curtains of deep crimson velvet. Denham, to whom he turned
next, shared her immobility under his gaze. But beneath his restraint and
calm it was possible to detect a resolution, a will, set now with
unalterable tenacity, which made such turns of speech as Mr. Hilbery had
at command appear oddly irrelevant. At any rate, he said nothing. He
respected the young man; he was a very able young man; he was likely to
get his own way. He could, he thought, looking at his still and very
dignified head, understand Katharine's preference, and, as he thought
this, he was surprised by a pang of acute jealousy. She might have married
Rodney without causing him a twinge. This man she loved. Or what was the
state of affairs between them? An extraordinary confusion of emotion was
beginning to get the better of him, when Mrs. Hilbery, who had been
conscious of a sudden pause in the conversation, and had looked wistfully
at her daughter once or twice, remarked:</p>
<p>"Don't stay if you want to go, Katharine. There's the little room over
there. Perhaps you and Ralph—"</p>
<p>"We're engaged," said Katharine, waking with a start, and looking straight
at her father. He was taken aback by the directness of the statement; he
exclaimed as if an unexpected blow had struck him. Had he loved her to see
her swept away by this torrent, to have her taken from him by this
uncontrollable force, to stand by helpless, ignored? Oh, how he loved her!
How he loved her! He nodded very curtly to Denham.</p>
<p>"I gathered something of the kind last night," he said. "I hope you'll
deserve her." But he never looked at his daughter, and strode out of the
room, leaving in the minds of the women a sense, half of awe, half of
amusement, at the extravagant, inconsiderate, uncivilized male, outraged
somehow and gone bellowing to his lair with a roar which still sometimes
reverberates in the most polished of drawing-rooms. Then Katharine,
looking at the shut door, looked down again, to hide her tears.</p>
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