<p>July 11th.—There has been no rain since the day before Whitsunday,
five weeks ago, which partly, but not entirely, accounts for the
disappointment my beds have been. The dejected gardener went mad soon
after Whitsuntide, and had to be sent to an asylum. He took to going about
with a spade in one hand and a revolver in the other, explaining that he
felt safer that way, and we bore it quite patiently, as becomes civilised
beings who respect each other's prejudices, until one day, when I mildly
asked him to tie up a fallen creeper—and after he bought the
revolver my tones in addressing him were of the mildest, and I quite left
off reading to him aloud—he turned round, looked me straight in the
face for the first time since he has been here, and said, "Do I look like
Graf X—— ——(a great local celebrity), or like a
monkey?" After which there was nothing for it but to get him into an
asylum as expeditiously as possible. There was no gardener to be had in
his place, and I have only just succeeded in getting one; so that what
with the drought, and the neglect, and the gardener's madness, and my
blunders, the garden is in a sad condition; but even in a sad condition it
is the dearest place in the world, and all my mistakes only make me more
determined to persevere.</p>
<p>The long borders, where the rockets were, are looking dreadful. The
rockets have done flowering, and, after the manner of rockets: in other
walks of life, have degenerated into sticks; and nothing else in those
borders intends to bloom this summer. The giant poppies I had planted out
in them in April have either died off or remained quite small, and so have
the columbines; here and there a delphinium droops unwillingly, and that
is all. I suppose poppies cannot stand being moved, or perhaps they were
not watered enough at the time of transplanting; anyhow, those borders are
going to be sown to-morrow with more poppies for next year; for poppies I
will have, whether they like it or not, and they shall not be touched,
only thinned out.</p>
<p>Well, it is no use being grieved, and after all, directly I come out and
sit under the trees, and look at the dappled sky, and see the sunshine on
the cornfields away on the plain, all the disappointment smooths itself
out, and it seems impossible to be sad and discontented when everything
about me is so radiant and kind.</p>
<p>To-day is Sunday, and the garden is so quiet, that, sitting here in this
shady corner watching the lazy shadows stretching themselves across the
grass, and listening to the rooks quarrelling in the treetops, I almost
expect to hear English church bells ringing for the afternoon service. But
the church is three miles off, has no bells, and no afternoon service.
Once a fortnight we go to morning prayer at eleven and sit up in a sort of
private box with a room behind, whither we can retire unobserved when the
sermon is too long or our flesh too weak, and hear ourselves being prayed
for by the blackrobed parson. In winter the church is bitterly cold; it is
not heated, and we sit muffled up in more furs than ever we wear out of
doors; but it would of course be very wicked for the parson to wear furs,
however cold he may be, so he puts on a great many extra coats under his
gown, and, as the winter progresses, swells to a prodigious size. We know
when spring is coming by the reduction in his figure. The congregation sit
at ease while the parson does the praying for them, and while they are
droning the long-drawn-out chorales, he retires into a little wooden box
just big enough to hold him. He does not come out until he thinks we have
sung enough, nor do we stop until his appearance gives us the signal. I
have often thought how dreadful it would be if he fell ill in his box and
left us to go on singing. I am sure we should never dare to stop,
unauthorised by the Church. I asked him once what he did in there; he
looked very shocked at such a profane question, and made an evasive reply.</p>
<p>If it were not for the garden, a German Sunday would be a terrible day;
but in the garden on that day there is a sigh of relief and more profound
peace, nobody raking or sweeping or fidgeting; only the little flowers
themselves and the whispering trees.</p>
<p>I have been much afflicted again lately by visitors—not stray
callers to be got rid of after a due administration of tea and things you
are sorry afterwards that you said, but people staying in the house and
not to be got rid of at all. All June was lost to me in this way, and it
was from first to last a radiant month of heat and beauty; but a garden
where you meet the people you saw at breakfast, and will see again at
lunch and dinner, is not a place to be happy in. Besides, they had a knack
of finding out my favourite seats and lounging in them just when I longed
to lounge myself; and they took books out of the library with them, and
left them face downwards on the seats all night to get well drenched with
dew, though they might have known that what is meat for roses is poison
for books; and they gave me to understand that if they had had the
arranging of the garden it would have been finished long ago—whereas
I don't believe a garden ever is finished. They have all gone now, thank
heaven, except one, so that I have a little breathing space before others
begin to arrive. It seems that the place interests people, and that there
is a sort of novelty in staying in such a deserted corner of the world,
for they were in a perpetual state of mild amusement at being here at all.
Irais is the only one left. She is a young woman with a beautiful, refined
face, and her eyes and straight, fine eyebrows are particularly lovable.
At meals she dips her bread into the salt-cellar, bites a bit off, and
repeats the process, although providence (taking my shape) has caused
salt-spoons to be placed at convenient intervals down the table. She
lunched to-day on beer, Schweine-koteletten, and cabbage-salad with
caraway seeds in it, and now I hear her through the open window,
extemporising touching melodies in her charming, cooing voice. She is
thin, frail, intelligent, and lovable, all on the above diet. What better
proof can be needed to establish the superiority of the Teuton than the
fact that after such meals he can produce such music? Cabbage salad is a
horrid invention, but I don't doubt its utility as a means of encouraging
thoughtfulness; nor will I quarrel with it, since it results so
poetically, any more than I quarrel with the manure that results in roses,
and I give it to Irais every day to make her sing. She is the sweetest
singer I have ever heard, and has a charming trick of making up songs as
she goes along. When she begins, I go and lean out of the window and look
at my little friends out there in the borders while listening to her
music, and feel full of pleasant sadness and regret. It is so sweet to be
sad when one has nothing to be sad about.</p>
<p>The April baby came panting up just as I had written that, the others
hurrying along behind, and with flaming cheeks displayed for my admiration
three brand-new kittens, lean and blind, that she was carrying in her
pinafore, and that had just been found motherless in the woodshed.</p>
<p>"Look," she cried breathlessly, "such a much!"</p>
<p>I was glad it was only kittens this time, for she had been once before
this afternoon on purpose, as she informed me, sitting herself down on the
grass at my feet, to ask about the lieber Gott, it being Sunday and her
pious little nurse's conversation having run, as it seems, on heaven and
angels.</p>
<p>Her questions about the lieber Gott are better left unrecorded, and I was
relieved when she began about the angels.</p>
<p>"What do they wear for clothes?" she asked in her German-English.</p>
<p>"Why, you've seen them in pictures," I answered, "in beautiful, long
dresses, and with big, white wings." "Feathers?" she asked.</p>
<p>"I suppose so,—and long dresses, all white and beautiful."</p>
<p>"Are they girlies?"</p>
<p>"Girls? Ye—es."</p>
<p>"Don't boys go into the Himmel?"</p>
<p>"Yes, of course, if they're good."</p>
<p>"And then what do <i>they</i> wear?" "Why, the same as all the other
angels, I suppose."</p>
<p>"Dwesses?"</p>
<p>She began to laugh, looking at me sideways as though she suspected me of
making jokes. "What a funny Mummy!" she said, evidently much amused. She
has a fat little laugh that is very infectious.</p>
<p>"I think," said I, gravely, "you had better go and play with the other
babies."</p>
<p>She did not answer, and sat still a moment watching the clouds. I began
writing again.</p>
<p>"Mummy," she said presently.</p>
<p>"Well?"</p>
<p>"Where do the angels get their dwesses?"</p>
<p>I hesitated. "From lieber Gott," I said.</p>
<p>"Are there shops in the Himmel?"</p>
<p>"Shops? No."</p>
<p>"But, then, where does lieber Gott buy their dwesses?"</p>
<p>"Now run away like a good baby; I'm busy."</p>
<p>"But you said yesterday, when I asked about lieber Gott, that you would
tell about Him on Sunday, and it is Sunday. Tell me a story about Him."</p>
<p>There was nothing for it but resignation, so I put down my pencil with a
sigh. "Call the others, then."</p>
<p>She ran away, and presently they all three emerged from the bushes one
after the other, and tried all together to scramble on to my knee. The
April baby got the knee as she always seems to get everything, and the
other two had to sit on the grass.</p>
<p>I began about Adam and Eve, with an eye to future parsonic probings. The
April baby's eyes opened wider and wider, and her face grew redder and
redder. I was surprised at the breathless interest she took in the story—the
other two were tearing up tufts of grass and hardly listening. I had
scarcely got to the angels with the flaming swords and announced that that
was all, when she burst out, "Now I'll tell about it. Once upon a time
there was Adam and Eva, and they had plenty of clothes, and there was no
snake, and lieber Gott wasn't angry with them, and they could eat as many
apples as they liked, and was happy for ever and ever—there now!"</p>
<p>She began to jump up and down defiantly on my knee.</p>
<p>"But that's not the story," I said rather helplessly. "Yes, yes! It's a
much nicelier one! Now another."</p>
<p>"But these stories are true," I said severely; "and it's no use my telling
them if you make them up your own way afterwards."</p>
<p>"Another! another!" she shrieked, jumping up and down with redoubled
energy, all her silvery curls flying.</p>
<p>I began about Noah and the flood.</p>
<p>"Did it rain so badly?" she asked with a face of the deepest concern and
interest.</p>
<p>"Yes, all day long and all night long for weeks and weeks——"</p>
<p>"And was everybody so wet?"</p>
<p>"Yes—"</p>
<p>"But why didn't they open their umbwellas?"</p>
<p>Just then I saw the nurse coming out with the tea-tray.</p>
<p>"I'll tell you the rest another time," I said, putting her off my knee,
greatly relieved; "you must all go to Anna now and have tea."</p>
<p>"I don't like Anna," remarked the June baby, not having hitherto opened
her lips; "she is a stupid girl."</p>
<p>The other two stood transfixed with horror at this statement, for, besides
being naturally extremely polite, and at all times anxious not to hurt any
one's feelings, they had been brought up to love and respect their kind
little nurse.</p>
<p>The April baby recovered her speech first, and lifting her finger, pointed
it at the criminal in just indignation. "Such a child will never go into
the Himmel," she said with great emphasis, and the air of one who delivers
judgment.</p>
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