<p>December 22nd.—Up to now we have had a beautiful winter. Clear
skies, frost, little wind, and, except for a sharp touch now and then,
very few really cold days. My windows are gay with hyacinths and lilies of
the valley; and though, as I have said, I don't admire the smell of
hyacinths in the spring when it seems wanting in youth and chastity next
to that of other flowers, I am glad enough now to bury my nose in their
heavy sweetness. In December one cannot afford to be fastidious; besides,
one is actually less fastidious about everything in the winter. The keen
air braces soul as well as body into robustness, and the food and the
perfume disliked in the summer are perfectly welcome then.</p>
<p>I am very busy preparing for Christmas, but have often locked myself up in
a room alone, shutting out my unfinished duties, to study the flower
catalogues and make my lists of seeds and shrubs and trees for the spring.
It is a fascinating occupation, and acquires an additional charm when you
know you ought to be doing something else, that Christmas is at the door,
that children and servants and farm hands depend on you for their
pleasure, and that, if you don't see to the decoration of the trees and
house, and the buying of the presents, nobody else will. The hours fly by
shut up with those catalogues and with Duty snarling on the other side of
the door. I don't like Duty—everything in the least disagreeable is
always sure to be one's duty. Why cannot it be my duty to make lists and
plans for the dear garden? "And so it is," I insisted to the Man of Wrath,
when he protested against what he called wasting my time upstairs. "No,"
he replied sagely; "your garden is not your duty, because it is your
Pleasure."</p>
<p>What a comfort it is to have such wells of wisdom constantly at my
disposal! Anybody can have a husband, but to few is it given to have a
sage, and the combination of both is as rare as it is useful. Indeed, in
its practical utility the only thing I ever saw to equal it is a sofa my
neighbour has bought as a Christmas surprise for her husband, and which
she showed me the last time I called there—a beautiful invention, as
she explained, combining a bedstead, a sofa, and a chest of drawers, and
into which you put your clothes, and on top of which you put yourself, and
if anybody calls in the middle of the night and you happen to be using the
drawing-room as a bedroom, you just pop the bedclothes inside, and there
you are discovered sitting on your sofa and looking for all the world as
though you had been expecting visitors for hours.</p>
<p>"Pray, does he wear pyjamas?" I inquired.</p>
<p>But she had never heard of pyjamas.</p>
<p>It takes a long time to make my spring lists. I want to have a border all
yellow, every shade of yellow from fieriest orange to nearly white, and
the amount of work and studying of gardening books it costs me will only
be appreciated by beginners like myself. I have been weeks planning it,
and it is not nearly finished. I want it to be a succession of glories
from May till the frosts, and the chief feature is to be the number of
"ardent marigolds"—flowers that I very tenderly love—and
nasturtiums. The nasturtiums are to be of every sort and shade, and are to
climb and creep and grow in bushes, and show their lovely flowers and
leaves to the best advantage. Then there are to be eschscholtzias,
dahlias, sunflowers, zinnias, scabiosa, portulaca, yellow violas, yellow
stocks, yellow sweet-peas, yellow lupins—everything that is yellow
or that has a yellow variety. The place I have chosen for it is a long,
wide border in the sun, at the foot of a grassy slope crowned with lilacs
and pines, and facing southeast. You go through a little pine wood, and,
turning a corner, are to come suddenly upon this bit of captured morning
glory. I want it to be blinding in its brightness after the dark, cool
path through the wood.</p>
<p>That is the idea. Depression seizes me when I reflect upon the probable
difference between the idea and its realisation. I am ignorant, and the
gardener is, I do believe, still more so; for he was forcing some tulips,
and they have all shrivelled up and died, and he says he cannot imagine
why. Besides, he is in love with the cook, and is going to marry her after
Christmas, and refuses to enter into any of my plans with the enthusiasm
they deserve, but sits with vacant eye dreamily chopping wood from morning
till night to keep the beloved one's kitchen fire well supplied. I cannot
understand any one preferring cooks to marigolds; those future marigolds,
shadowy as they are, and whose seeds are still sleeping at the seedsman's,
have shone through my winter days like golden lamps.</p>
<p>I wish with all my heart I were a man, for of course the first thing I
should do would be to buy a spade and go and garden, and then I should
have the delight of doing everything for my flowers with my own hands and
need not waste time explaining what I want done to somebody else. It is
dull work giving orders and trying to describe the bright visions of one's
brain to a person who has no visions and no brain, and who thinks a yellow
bed should be calceolarias edged with blue.</p>
<p>I have taken care in choosing my yellow plants to put down only those
humble ones that are easily pleased and grateful for little, for my soil
is by no means all that it might be, and to most plants the climate is
rather trying. I feel really grateful to any flower that is sturdy and
willing enough to flourish here. Pansies seem to like the place and so do
sweet-peas; pinks don't, and after much coaxing gave hardly any flowers
last summer. Nearly all the roses were a success, in spite of the sandy
soil, except the tea-rose Adam, which was covered with buds ready to open,
when they suddenly turned brown and died, and three standard Dr. Grills
which stood in a row and simply sulked. I had been very excited about Dr.
Grill, his description in the catalogues being specially fascinating, and
no doubt I deserved the snubbing I got. "Never be excited, my dears, about
anything," shall be the advice I will give the three babies when the time
comes to take them out to parties, "or, if you are, don't show it. If by
nature you are volcanoes, at least be only smouldering ones. Don't look
pleased, don't look interested, don't, above all things, look eager. Calm
indifference should be written on every feature of your faces. Never show
that you like any one person, or any one thing. Be cool, languid, and
reserved. If you don't do as your mother tells you and are just gushing,
frisky, young idiots, snubs will be your portion. If you do as she tells
you, you'll marry princes and live happily ever after."</p>
<p>Dr. Grill must be a German rose. In this part of the world the more you
are pleased to see a person the less is he pleased to see you; whereas, if
you are disagreeable, he will grow pleasant visibly, his countenance
expanding into wider amiability the more your own is stiff and sour. But I
was not Prepared for that sort of thing in a rose, and was disgusted with
Dr. Grill. He had the best place in the garden—warm, sunny, and
sheltered; his holes were prepared with the tenderest care; he was given
the most dainty mixture of compost, clay, and manure; he was watered
assiduously all through the drought when more willing flowers got nothing;
and he refused to do anything but look black and shrivel. He did not die,
but neither did he live—he just existed; and at the end of the
summer not one of him had a scrap more shoot or leaf than when he was
first put in in April. It would have been better if he had died straight
away, for then I should have known what to do; as it is, there he is still
occupying the best place, wrapped up carefully for the winter, excluding
kinder roses, and probably intending to repeat the same conduct next year.
Well, trials are the portion of mankind, and gardeners have their share,
and in any case it is better to be tried by plants than persons, seeing
that with plants you know that it is you who are in the wrong, and with
persons it is always the other way about—and who is there among us
who has not felt the pangs of injured innocence, and known them to be
grievous?</p>
<p>I have two visitors staying with me, though I have done nothing to provoke
such an infliction, and had been looking forward to a happy little
Christmas alone with the Man of Wrath and the babies. Fate decreed
otherwise. Quite regularly, if I look forward to anything, Fate steps in
and decrees otherwise; I don't know why it should, but it does. I had not
even invited these good ladies—like greatness on the modest, they
were thrust upon me. One is Irais, the sweet singer of the summer, whom I
love as she deserves, but of whom I certainly thought I had seen the last
for at least a year, when she wrote and asked if I would have her over
Christmas, as her husband was out of sorts, and she didn't like him in
that state. Neither do I like sick husbands, so, full of sympathy, I
begged her to come, and here she is. And the other is Minora.</p>
<p>Why I have to have Minora I don't know, for I was not even aware of her
existence a fortnight ago. Then coming down cheerfully one morning to
breakfast—it was the very day after my return from England—I
found a letter from an English friend, who up till then had been perfectly
innocuous, asking me to befriend Minora. I read the letter aloud for the
benefit of the Man of Wrath, who was eating Spickgans, a delicacy much
sought after in these parts. "Do, my dear Elizabeth," wrote my friend,
"take some notice of the poor thing. She is studying art in Dresden, and
has nowhere literally to go for Christmas. She is very ambitious and
hardworking—"</p>
<p>"Then," interrupted the Man of Wrath, "she is not pretty. Only ugly girls
work hard."</p>
<p>"—and she is really very clever—"</p>
<p>"I do not like clever girls, they are so stupid," again interrupted the
Man of Wrath.</p>
<p>"—and unless some kind creature like yourself takes pity on her she
will be very lonely."</p>
<p>"Then let her be lonely."</p>
<p>"Her mother is my oldest friend, and would be greatly distressed to think
that her daughter should be alone in a foreign town at such a season."</p>
<p>"I do not mind the distress of the mother."</p>
<p>"Oh, dear me," I exclaimed impatiently, "I shall have to ask her to come!"</p>
<p>"If you should be inclined," the letter went on, "to play the good
Samaritan, dear Elizabeth, I am positive you would find Minora a bright,
intelligent companion—"</p>
<p>"Minora?" questioned the Man of Wrath.</p>
<p>The April baby, who has had a nursery governess of an altogether
alarmingly zealous type attached to her person for the last six weeks,
looked up from her bread and milk.</p>
<p>"It sounds like islands," she remarked pensively.</p>
<p>The governess coughed.</p>
<p>"Majora, Minora, Alderney, and Sark," explained her pupil.</p>
<p>I looked at her severely.</p>
<p>"If you are not careful, April," I said, "you'll be a genius when you grow
up and disgrace your parents."</p>
<p>Miss Jones looked as though she did not like Germans. I am afraid she
despises us because she thinks we are foreigners—an attitude of mind
quite British and wholly to her credit; but we, on the other hand, regard
her as a foreigner, which, of course, makes things complicated.</p>
<p>"Shall I really have to have this strange girl?" I asked, addressing
nobody in particular and not expecting a reply.</p>
<p>"You need not have her," said the Man of Wrath composedly, "but you will.
You will write to-day and cordially invite her, and when she has been here
twenty-four hours you will quarrel with her. I know you, my dear."</p>
<p>"Quarrel! I? With a little art-student?" Miss Jones cast down her eyes.
She is perpetually scenting a scene, and is always ready to bring whole
batteries of discretion and tact and good taste to bear on us, and seems
to know we are disputing in an unseemly manner when we would never dream
it ourselves but for the warning of her downcast eyes. I would take my
courage in both hands and ask her to go, for besides this superfluity of
discreet behaviour she is, although only nursery, much too zealous, and
inclined to be always teaching and never playing; but, unfortunately, the
April baby adores her and is sure there never was any one so beautiful
before. She comes every day with fresh accounts of the splendours of her
wardrobe, and feeling descriptions of her umbrellas and hats; and Miss
Jones looks offended and purses up her lips. In common with most
governesses, she has a little dark down on her upper lip, and the April
baby appeared one day at dinner with her own decorated in faithful
imitation, having achieved it after much struggling, with the aid of a
lead pencil and unbounded love. Miss Jones put her in the corner for
impertinence. I wonder why governesses are so unpleasant. The Man of Wrath
says it is because they are not married. Without venturing to differ
entirely from the opinion of experience, I would add that the strain of
continually having to set an example must surely be very great. It is much
easier, and often more pleasant, to be a warning than an example, and
governesses are but women, and women are sometimes foolish, and when you
want to be foolish it must be annoying to have to be wise.</p>
<p>Minora and Irais arrived yesterday together; or rather, when the carriage
drove up, Irais got out of it alone, and informed me that there was a
strange girl on a bicycle a little way behind. I sent back the carriage to
pick her up, for it was dusk and the roads are terrible.</p>
<p>"But why do you have strange girls here at all?" asked Irais rather
peevishly, taking off her hat in the library before the fire, and
otherwise making herself very much at home; "I don't like them. I'm not
sure that they're not worse than husbands who are out of order. Who is
she? She would bicycle from the station, and is, I am sure, the first
woman who has done it. The little boys threw stones at her."</p>
<p>"Oh, my dear, that only shows the ignorance of the little boys. Never mind
her. Let us have tea in peace before she comes." "But we should be much
happier without her," she grumbled. "Weren't we happy enough in the
summer, Elizabeth—just you and I?"</p>
<p>"Yes, indeed we were," I answered heartily, putting my arms round her. The
flame of my affection for Irais burns very brightly on the day of her
arrival; besides, this time I have prudently provided against her sinning
with the salt-cellars by ordering them to be handed round like vegetable
dishes. We had finished tea and she had gone up to her room to dress
before Minora and her bicycle were got here. I hurried out to meet her,
feeling sorry for her, plunged into a circle of strangers at such a very
personal season as Christmas. But she was not very shy; indeed, she was
less shy than I was, and lingered in the hall, giving the servants
directions to wipe the snow off the tyres of her machine before she lent
an attentive ear to my welcoming remarks.</p>
<p>"I couldn't make your man understand me at the station," she said at last,
when her mind was at rest about her bicycle; "I asked him how far it was,
and what the roads were like, and he only smiled. Is he German? But of
course he is—how odd that he didn't understand. You speak English
very well,—very well indeed, do you know." By this time we were in
the library, and she stood on the hearth-rug warming her back while I
poured her out some tea.</p>
<p>"What a quaint room," she remarked, looking round, "and the hall is so
curious too. Very old, isn't it? There's a lot of copy here."</p>
<p>The Man of Wrath, who had been in the hall on her arrival and had come in
with us, began to look about on the carpet. "Copy" he inquired, "Where's
copy?"</p>
<p>"Oh—material, you know, for a book. I'm just jotting down what
strikes me in your country, and when I have time shall throw it into book
form." She spoke very loud, as English people always do to foreigners.</p>
<p>"My dear," I said breathlessly to Irais, when I had got into her room and
shut the door and Minora was safely in hers, "what do you think—she
writes books!"</p>
<p>"What—the bicycling girl?"</p>
<p>"Yes—Minora—imagine it!"</p>
<p>We stood and looked at each other with awestruck faces.</p>
<p>"How dreadful!" murmured Irais. "I never met a young girl who did that
before."</p>
<p>"She says this place is full of copy." "Full of what?"</p>
<p>"That's what you make books with."</p>
<p>"Oh, my dear, this is worse than I expected! A strange girl is always a
bore among good friends, but one can generally manage her. But a girl who
writes books—why, it isn't respectable! And you can't snub that sort
of people; they're unsnubbable."</p>
<p>"Oh, but we'll try!" I cried, with such heartiness that we both laughed.</p>
<p>The hall and the library struck Minora most; indeed, she lingered so long
after dinner in the hall, which is cold, that the Man of Wrath put on his
fur coat by way of a gentle hint. His hints are always gentle.</p>
<p>She wanted to hear the whole story about the chapel and the nuns and
Gustavus Adolphus, and pulling out a fat note-book began to take down what
I said. I at once relapsed into silence.</p>
<p>"Well?" she said.</p>
<p>"That's all."</p>
<p>"Oh, but you've only just begun."</p>
<p>"It doesn't go any further. Won't you come into the library?"</p>
<p>In the library she again took up her stand before the fire and warmed
herself, and we sat in a row and were cold. She has a wonderfully good
profile, which is irritating. The wind, however, is tempered to the shorn
lamb by her eyes being set too closely together.</p>
<p>Irais lit a cigarette, and leaning back in her chair, contemplated her
critically beneath her long eyelashes. "You are writing a book?" she asked
presently.</p>
<p>"Well—yes, I suppose I may say that I am. Just my impressions, you
know, of your country. Anything that strikes me as curious or amusing—I
jot it down, and when I have time shall work it up into something, I
daresay."</p>
<p>"Are you not studying painting?"</p>
<p>"Yes, but I can't study that for ever. We have an English proverb: 'Life
is short and Art is long'—too long, I sometimes think—and
writing is a great relaxation when I am tired."</p>
<p>"What shall you call it?"</p>
<p>"Oh, I thought of calling it Journeyings in Germany. It sounds well, and
would be correct. Or Jottings from German Journeyings,—I haven't
quite decided yet which."</p>
<p>"By the author of Prowls in Pomerania, you might add," suggested Irais.</p>
<p>"And Drivel from Dresden," said I.</p>
<p>"And Bosh from Berlin," added Irais.</p>
<p>Minora stared. "I don't think those two last ones would do," she said,
"because it is not to be a facetious book. But your first one is rather a
good title," she added, looking at Irais and drawing out her note-book. "I
think I'll just jot that down."</p>
<p>"If you jot down all we say and then publish it, will it still be your
book?" asked Irais.</p>
<p>But Minora was so busy scribbling that she did not hear.</p>
<p>"And have you no suggestions to make, Sage?" asked Irais, turning to the
Man of Wrath, who was blowing out clouds of smoke in silence.</p>
<p>"Oh, do you call him Sage?" cried Minora; "and always in English?"</p>
<p>Irais and I looked at each other. We knew what we did call him, and were
afraid Minora would in time ferret it out and enter it in her note-book.
The Man of Wrath looked none too well pleased to be alluded to under his
very nose by our new guest as "him."</p>
<p>"Husbands are always sages," said I gravely.</p>
<p>"Though sages are not always husbands," said Irais with equal gravity.
"Sages and husbands—sage and husbands—" she went on musingly,
"what does that remind you of, Miss Minora?"</p>
<p>"Oh, I know,—how stupid of me!" cried Minora eagerly, her pencil in
mid-air and her brain clutching at the elusive recollection, "sage and,—why,—yes,—no,—yes,
of course—oh," disappointedly, "but that's vulgar—I can't put
it in."</p>
<p>"What is vulgar?" I asked.</p>
<p>"She thinks sage and onions is vulgar," said Irais languidly; "but it
isn't, it is very good." She got up and walked to the piano, and, sitting
down, began, after a little wandering over the keys, to sing.</p>
<p>"Do you play?" I asked Minora.</p>
<p>"Yes, but I am afraid I am rather out of practice."</p>
<p>I said no more. I know what that sort of playing is.</p>
<p>When we were lighting our bedroom candles Minora began suddenly to speak
in an unknown tongue. We stared. "What is the matter with her?" murmured
Irais.</p>
<p>"I thought, perhaps," said Minora in English, "you might prefer to talk
German, and as it is all the same to me what I talk—" "Oh, pray
don't trouble," said Irais. "We like airing our English—don't we,
Elizabeth?"</p>
<p>"I don't want my German to get rusty though," said Minora; "I shouldn't
like to forget it."</p>
<p>"Oh, but isn't there an English song," said Irais, twisting round her neck
as she preceded us upstairs, "''Tis folly to remember, 'tis wisdom to
forget'?"</p>
<p>"You are not nervous sleeping alone, I hope," I said hastily.</p>
<p>"What room is she in?" asked Irais.</p>
<p>"No. 12."</p>
<p>"Oh!—do you believe in ghosts?"</p>
<p>Minora turned pale.</p>
<p>"What nonsense," said I; "we have no ghosts here. Good-night. If you want
anything, mind you ring."</p>
<p>"And if you see anything curious in that room," called Irais from her
bedroom door, "mind you jot it down."</p>
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