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<h2> CHAPTER 34. A Shoal of Barnacles </h2>
<p>Mr Henry Gowan and the dog were established frequenters of the cottage,
and the day was fixed for the wedding. There was to be a convocation of
Barnacles on the occasion, in order that that very high and very large
family might shed as much lustre on the marriage as so dim an event was
capable of receiving.</p>
<p>To have got the whole Barnacle family together would have been impossible
for two reasons. Firstly, because no building could have held all the
members and connections of that illustrious house. Secondly, because
wherever there was a square yard of ground in British occupation under the
sun or moon, with a public post upon it, sticking to that post was a
Barnacle. No intrepid navigator could plant a flag-staff upon any spot of
earth, and take possession of it in the British name, but to that spot of
earth, so soon as the discovery was known, the Circumlocution Office sent
out a Barnacle and a despatch-box. Thus the Barnacles were all over the
world, in every direction—despatch-boxing the compass.</p>
<p>But, while the so-potent art of Prospero himself would have failed in
summoning the Barnacles from every speck of ocean and dry land on which
there was nothing (except mischief) to be done and anything to be
pocketed, it was perfectly feasible to assemble a good many Barnacles.
This Mrs Gowan applied herself to do; calling on Mr Meagles frequently
with new additions to the list, and holding conferences with that
gentleman when he was not engaged (as he generally was at this period) in
examining and paying the debts of his future son-in-law, in the apartment
of scales and scoops.</p>
<p>One marriage guest there was, in reference to whose presence Mr Meagles
felt a nearer interest and concern than in the attendance of the most
elevated Barnacle expected; though he was far from insensible of the
honour of having such company. This guest was Clennam. But Clennam had
made a promise he held sacred, among the trees that summer night, and, in
the chivalry of his heart, regarded it as binding him to many implied
obligations. In forgetfulness of himself, and delicate service to her on
all occasions, he was never to fail; to begin it, he answered Mr Meagles
cheerfully, 'I shall come, of course.'</p>
<p>His partner, Daniel Doyce, was something of a stumbling-block in Mr
Meagles's way, the worthy gentleman being not at all clear in his own
anxious mind but that the mingling of Daniel with official Barnacleism
might produce some explosive combination, even at a marriage breakfast.
The national offender, however, lightened him of his uneasiness by coming
down to Twickenham to represent that he begged, with the freedom of an old
friend, and as a favour to one, that he might not be invited. 'For,' said
he, 'as my business with this set of gentlemen was to do a public duty and
a public service, and as their business with me was to prevent it by
wearing my soul out, I think we had better not eat and drink together with
a show of being of one mind.' Mr Meagles was much amused by his friend's
oddity; and patronised him with a more protecting air of allowance than
usual, when he rejoined: 'Well, well, Dan, you shall have your own
crotchety way.'</p>
<p>To Mr Henry Gowan, as the time approached, Clennam tried to convey by all
quiet and unpretending means, that he was frankly and disinterestedly
desirous of tendering him any friendship he would accept. Mr Gowan treated
him in return with his usual ease, and with his usual show of confidence,
which was no confidence at all.</p>
<p>'You see, Clennam,' he happened to remark in the course of conversation
one day, when they were walking near the Cottage within a week of the
marriage, 'I am a disappointed man. That you know already.'</p>
<p>'Upon my word,' said Clennam, a little embarrassed, 'I scarcely know how.'</p>
<p>'Why,' returned Gowan, 'I belong to a clan, or a clique, or a family, or a
connection, or whatever you like to call it, that might have provided for
me in any one of fifty ways, and that took it into its head not to do it
at all. So here I am, a poor devil of an artist.'</p>
<p>Clennam was beginning, 'But on the other hand—' when Gowan took him
up.</p>
<p>'Yes, yes, I know. I have the good fortune of being beloved by a beautiful
and charming girl whom I love with all my heart.' ('Is there much of it?'
Clennam thought. And as he thought it, felt ashamed of himself.)</p>
<p>'And of finding a father-in-law who is a capital fellow and a liberal good
old boy. Still, I had other prospects washed and combed into my childish
head when it was washed and combed for me, and I took them to a public
school when I washed and combed it for myself, and I am here without them,
and thus I am a disappointed man.'</p>
<p>Clennam thought (and as he thought it, again felt ashamed of himself), was
this notion of being disappointed in life, an assertion of station which
the bridegroom brought into the family as his property, having already
carried it detrimentally into his pursuit? And was it a hopeful or a
promising thing anywhere?</p>
<p>'Not bitterly disappointed, I think,' he said aloud. 'Hang it, no; not
bitterly,' laughed Gowan. 'My people are not worth that—though they
are charming fellows, and I have the greatest affection for them. Besides,
it's pleasant to show them that I can do without them, and that they may
all go to the Devil. And besides, again, most men are disappointed in
life, somehow or other, and influenced by their disappointment. But it's a
dear good world, and I love it!'</p>
<p>'It lies fair before you now,' said Arthur.</p>
<p>'Fair as this summer river,' cried the other, with enthusiasm, 'and by
Jove I glow with admiration of it, and with ardour to run a race in it.
It's the best of old worlds! And my calling! The best of old callings,
isn't it?'</p>
<p>'Full of interest and ambition, I conceive,' said Clennam.</p>
<p>'And imposition,' added Gowan, laughing; 'we won't leave out the
imposition. I hope I may not break down in that; but there, my being a
disappointed man may show itself. I may not be able to face it out gravely
enough. Between you and me, I think there is some danger of my being just
enough soured not to be able to do that.'</p>
<p>'To do what?' asked Clennam.</p>
<p>'To keep it up. To help myself in my turn, as the man before me helps
himself in his, and pass the bottle of smoke. To keep up the pretence as
to labour, and study, and patience, and being devoted to my art, and
giving up many solitary days to it, and abandoning many pleasures for it,
and living in it, and all the rest of it—in short, to pass the
bottle of smoke according to rule.'</p>
<p>'But it is well for a man to respect his own vocation, whatever it is; and
to think himself bound to uphold it, and to claim for it the respect it
deserves; is it not?' Arthur reasoned. 'And your vocation, Gowan, may
really demand this suit and service. I confess I should have thought that
all Art did.'</p>
<p>'What a good fellow you are, Clennam!' exclaimed the other, stopping to
look at him, as if with irrepressible admiration. 'What a capital fellow!
You have never been disappointed. That's easy to see.'</p>
<p>It would have been so cruel if he had meant it, that Clennam firmly
resolved to believe he did not mean it. Gowan, without pausing, laid his
hand upon his shoulder, and laughingly and lightly went on:</p>
<p>'Clennam, I don't like to dispel your generous visions, and I would give
any money (if I had any), to live in such a rose-coloured mist. But what I
do in my trade, I do to sell. What all we fellows do, we do to sell. If we
didn't want to sell it for the most we can get for it, we shouldn't do it.
Being work, it has to be done; but it's easily enough done. All the rest
is hocus-pocus.</p>
<p>Now here's one of the advantages, or disadvantages, of knowing a
disappointed man. You hear the truth.'</p>
<p>Whatever he had heard, and whether it deserved that name or another, it
sank into Clennam's mind. It so took root there, that he began to fear
Henry Gowan would always be a trouble to him, and that so far he had
gained little or nothing from the dismissal of Nobody, with all his
inconsistencies, anxieties, and contradictions. He found a contest still
always going on in his breast between his promise to keep Gowan in none
but good aspects before the mind of Mr Meagles, and his enforced
observation of Gowan in aspects that had no good in them. Nor could he
quite support his own conscientious nature against misgivings that he
distorted and discoloured himself, by reminding himself that he never
sought those discoveries, and that he would have avoided them with
willingness and great relief. For he never could forget what he had been;
and he knew that he had once disliked Gowan for no better reason than that
he had come in his way.</p>
<p>Harassed by these thoughts, he now began to wish the marriage over, Gowan
and his young wife gone, and himself left to fulfil his promise, and
discharge the generous function he had accepted. This last week was, in
truth, an uneasy interval for the whole house. Before Pet, or before
Gowan, Mr Meagles was radiant; but Clennam had more than once found him
alone, with his view of the scales and scoop much blurred, and had often
seen him look after the lovers, in the garden or elsewhere when he was not
seen by them, with the old clouded face on which Gowan had fallen like a
shadow. In the arrangement of the house for the great occasion, many
little reminders of the old travels of the father and mother and daughter
had to be disturbed and passed from hand to hand; and sometimes, in the
midst of these mute witnesses, to the life they had had together, even Pet
herself would yield to lamenting and weeping. Mrs Meagles, the blithest
and busiest of mothers, went about singing and cheering everybody; but
she, honest soul, had her flights into store rooms, where she would cry
until her eyes were red, and would then come out, attributing that
appearance to pickled onions and pepper, and singing clearer than ever.
Mrs Tickit, finding no balsam for a wounded mind in Buchan's Domestic
Medicine, suffered greatly from low spirits, and from moving recollections
of Minnie's infancy. When the latter was powerful with her, she usually
sent up secret messages importing that she was not in parlour condition as
to her attire, and that she solicited a sight of 'her child' in the
kitchen; there, she would bless her child's face, and bless her child's
heart, and hug her child, in a medley of tears and congratulations,
chopping-boards, rolling-pins, and pie-crust, with the tenderness of an
old attached servant, which is a very pretty tenderness indeed.</p>
<p>But all days come that are to be; and the marriage-day was to be, and it
came; and with it came all the Barnacles who were bidden to the feast.
There was Mr Tite Barnacle, from the Circumlocution Office, and Mews
Street, Grosvenor Square, with the expensive Mrs Tite Barnacle NEE
Stiltstalking, who made the Quarter Days so long in coming, and the three
expensive Miss Tite Barnacles, double-loaded with accomplishments and
ready to go off, and yet not going off with the sharpness of flash and
bang that might have been expected, but rather hanging fire. There was
Barnacle junior, also from the Circumlocution Office, leaving the Tonnage
of the country, which he was somehow supposed to take under his
protection, to look after itself, and, sooth to say, not at all impairing
the efficiency of its protection by leaving it alone. There was the
engaging Young Barnacle, deriving from the sprightly side of the family,
also from the Circumlocution Office, gaily and agreeably helping the
occasion along, and treating it, in his sparkling way, as one of the
official forms and fees of the Church Department of How not to do it.
There were three other Young Barnacles from three other offices, insipid
to all the senses, and terribly in want of seasoning, doing the marriage
as they would have 'done' the Nile, Old Rome, the new singer, or
Jerusalem.</p>
<p>But there was greater game than this. There was Lord Decimus Tite Barnacle
himself, in the odour of Circumlocution—with the very smell of
Despatch-Boxes upon him. Yes, there was Lord Decimus Tite Barnacle, who
had risen to official heights on the wings of one indignant idea, and that
was, My Lords, that I am yet to be told that it behoves a Minister of this
free country to set bounds to the philanthropy, to cramp the charity, to
fetter the public spirit, to contract the enterprise, to damp the
independent self-reliance, of its people. That was, in other words, that
this great statesman was always yet to be told that it behoved the Pilot
of the ship to do anything but prosper in the private loaf and fish trade
ashore, the crew being able, by dint of hard pumping, to keep the ship
above water without him. On this sublime discovery in the great art How
not to do it, Lord Decimus had long sustained the highest glory of the
Barnacle family; and let any ill-advised member of either House but try
How to do it by bringing in a Bill to do it, that Bill was as good as dead
and buried when Lord Decimus Tite Barnacle rose up in his place and
solemnly said, soaring into indignant majesty as the Circumlocution
cheering soared around him, that he was yet to be told, My Lords, that it
behoved him as the Minister of this free country, to set bounds to the
philanthropy, to cramp the charity, to fetter the public spirit, to
contract the enterprise, to damp the independent self-reliance, of its
people. The discovery of this Behoving Machine was the discovery of the
political perpetual motion. It never wore out, though it was always going
round and round in all the State Departments.</p>
<p>And there, with his noble friend and relative Lord Decimus, was William
Barnacle, who had made the ever-famous coalition with Tudor Stiltstalking,
and who always kept ready his own particular recipe for How not to do it;
sometimes tapping the Speaker, and drawing it fresh out of him, with a
'First, I will beg you, sir, to inform the House what Precedent we have
for the course into which the honourable gentleman would precipitate us;'
sometimes asking the honourable gentleman to favour him with his own
version of the Precedent; sometimes telling the honourable gentleman that
he (William Barnacle) would search for a Precedent; and oftentimes
crushing the honourable gentleman flat on the spot by telling him there
was no Precedent. But Precedent and Precipitate were, under all
circumstances, the well-matched pair of battle-horses of this able
Circumlocutionist. No matter that the unhappy honourable gentleman had
been trying in vain, for twenty-five years, to precipitate William
Barnacle into this—William Barnacle still put it to the House, and
(at second-hand or so) to the country, whether he was to be precipitated
into this. No matter that it was utterly irreconcilable with the nature of
things and course of events that the wretched honourable gentleman could
possibly produce a Precedent for this—William Barnacle would
nevertheless thank the honourable gentleman for that ironical cheer, and
would close with him upon that issue, and would tell him to his teeth that
there Was NO Precedent for this. It might perhaps have been objected that
the William Barnacle wisdom was not high wisdom or the earth it bamboozled
would never have been made, or, if made in a rash mistake, would have
remained blank mud. But Precedent and Precipitate together frightened all
objection out of most people.</p>
<p>And there, too, was another Barnacle, a lively one, who had leaped through
twenty places in quick succession, and was always in two or three at once,
and who was the much-respected inventor of an art which he practised with
great success and admiration in all Barnacle Governments. This was, when
he was asked a Parliamentary question on any one topic, to return an
answer on any other. It had done immense service, and brought him into
high esteem with the Circumlocution Office.</p>
<p>And there, too, was a sprinkling of less distinguished Parliamentary
Barnacles, who had not as yet got anything snug, and were going through
their probation to prove their worthiness. These Barnacles perched upon
staircases and hid in passages, waiting their orders to make houses or not
to make houses; and they did all their hearing, and ohing, and cheering,
and barking, under directions from the heads of the family; and they put
dummy motions on the paper in the way of other men's motions; and they
stalled disagreeable subjects off until late in the night and late in the
session, and then with virtuous patriotism cried out that it was too late;
and they went down into the country, whenever they were sent, and swore
that Lord Decimus had revived trade from a swoon, and commerce from a fit,
and had doubled the harvest of corn, quadrupled the harvest of hay, and
prevented no end of gold from flying out of the Bank. Also these Barnacles
were dealt, by the heads of the family, like so many cards below the
court-cards, to public meetings and dinners; where they bore testimony to
all sorts of services on the part of their noble and honourable relatives,
and buttered the Barnacles on all sorts of toasts. And they stood, under
similar orders, at all sorts of elections; and they turned out of their
own seats, on the shortest notice and the most unreasonable terms, to let
in other men; and they fetched and carried, and toadied and jobbed, and
corrupted, and ate heaps of dirt, and were indefatigable in the public
service. And there was not a list, in all the Circumlocution Office, of
places that might fall vacant anywhere within half a century, from a lord
of the Treasury to a Chinese consul, and up again to a governor-general of
India, but as applicants for such places, the names of some or of every
one of these hungry and adhesive Barnacles were down.</p>
<p>It was necessarily but a sprinkling of any class of Barnacles that
attended the marriage, for there were not two score in all, and what is
that subtracted from Legion! But the sprinkling was a swarm in the
Twickenham cottage, and filled it. A Barnacle (assisted by a Barnacle)
married the happy pair, and it behoved Lord Decimus Tite Barnacle himself
to conduct Mrs Meagles to breakfast.</p>
<p>The entertainment was not as agreeable and natural as it might have been.
Mr Meagles, hove down by his good company while he highly appreciated it,
was not himself. Mrs Gowan was herself, and that did not improve him. The
fiction that it was not Mr Meagles who had stood in the way, but that it
was the Family greatness, and that the Family greatness had made a
concession, and there was now a soothing unanimity, pervaded the affair,
though it was never openly expressed. Then the Barnacles felt that they
for their parts would have done with the Meagleses when the present
patronising occasion was over; and the Meagleses felt the same for their
parts. Then Gowan asserting his rights as a disappointed man who had his
grudge against the family, and who, perhaps, had allowed his mother to
have them there, as much in the hope it might give them some annoyance as
with any other benevolent object, aired his pencil and his poverty
ostentatiously before them, and told them he hoped in time to settle a
crust of bread and cheese on his wife, and that he begged such of them as
(more fortunate than himself) came in for any good thing, and could buy a
picture, to please to remember the poor painter. Then Lord Decimus, who
was a wonder on his own Parliamentary pedestal, turned out to be the
windiest creature here: proposing happiness to the bride and bridegroom in
a series of platitudes that would have made the hair of any sincere
disciple and believer stand on end; and trotting, with the complacency of
an idiotic elephant, among howling labyrinths of sentences which he seemed
to take for high roads, and never so much as wanted to get out of. Then Mr
Tite Barnacle could not but feel that there was a person in company, who
would have disturbed his life-long sitting to Sir Thomas Lawrence in full
official character, if such disturbance had been possible: while Barnacle
junior did, with indignation, communicate to two vapid gentlemen, his
relatives, that there was a feller here, look here, who had come to our
Department without an appointment and said he wanted to know, you know;
and that, look here, if he was to break out now, as he might you know (for
you never could tell what an ungentlemanly Radical of that sort would be
up to next), and was to say, look here, that he wanted to know this
moment, you know, that would be jolly; wouldn't it?</p>
<p>The pleasantest part of the occasion by far, to Clennam, was the
painfullest. When Mr and Mrs Meagles at last hung about Pet in the room
with the two pictures (where the company were not), before going with her
to the threshold which she could never recross to be the old Pet and the
old delight, nothing could be more natural and simple than the three were.
Gowan himself was touched, and answered Mr Meagles's 'O Gowan, take care
of her, take care of her!' with an earnest 'Don't be so broken-hearted,
sir. By Heaven I will!'</p>
<p>And so, with the last sobs and last loving words, and a last look to
Clennam of confidence in his promise, Pet fell back in the carriage, and
her husband waved his hand, and they were away for Dover; though not until
the faithful Mrs Tickit, in her silk gown and jet black curls, had rushed
out from some hiding-place, and thrown both her shoes after the carriage:
an apparition which occasioned great surprise to the distinguished company
at the windows.</p>
<p>The said company being now relieved from further attendance, and the chief
Barnacles being rather hurried (for they had it in hand just then to send
a mail or two which was in danger of going straight to its destination,
beating about the seas like the Flying Dutchman, and to arrange with
complexity for the stoppage of a good deal of important business otherwise
in peril of being done), went their several ways; with all affability
conveying to Mr and Mrs Meagles that general assurance that what they had
been doing there, they had been doing at a sacrifice for Mr and Mrs
Meagles's good, which they always conveyed to Mr John Bull in their
official condescension to that most unfortunate creature.</p>
<p>A miserable blank remained in the house and in the hearts of the father
and mother and Clennam. Mr Meagles called only one remembrance to his aid,
that really did him good.</p>
<p>'It's very gratifying, Arthur,' he said, 'after all, to look back upon.'</p>
<p>'The past?' said Clennam.</p>
<p>'Yes—but I mean the company.'</p>
<p>It had made him much more low and unhappy at the time, but now it really
did him good. 'It's very gratifying,' he said, often repeating the remark
in the course of the evening. 'Such high company!'</p>
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