<SPAN name="startofbook"></SPAN>
<p class="bold2">KIPPS</p>
<h2><span> by H. G. Wells</span></h2>
<p><span class='pagenum'><SPAN name="Page_1" id="Page_1"></SPAN></span></p>
<h2><span>BOOK I</span> <span class="smaller">THE MAKING OF KIPPS</span></h2>
<hr />
<p><span class='pagenum'><SPAN name="Page_3" id="Page_3"></SPAN></span></p>
<h2><span>CHAPTER I</span> <span class="smaller">THE LITTLE SHOP AT NEW ROMNEY</span></h2>
<p class="center">§1</p>
<p>Until he was nearly arrived at adolescence it did not become clear to
Kipps how it was that he was under the care of an aunt and uncle instead
of having a father and mother like other boys. Yet he had vague memories
of a somewhere else that was not New Romney—of a dim room, a window
looking down on white buildings—and of a some one else who talked to
forgotten people, and who was his mother. He could not recall her
features very distinctly, but he remembered with extreme definition a
white dress she wore, with a pattern of little sprigs of flowers and
little bows of ribbon upon it, and a girdle of straight-ribbed white
ribbon about the waist. Linked with this, he knew not how, were clouded
half-obliterated recollections of scenes in which there was weeping,
weeping in which he was inscrutably moved to join. Some terrible tall
man with a loud voice played a part in these scenes, and either before
or after them there were impressions of looking for interminable periods
out of the windows of railway trains in the company of these two people....</p>
<p><span class='pagenum'><SPAN name="Page_4" id="Page_4"></SPAN></span></p>
<p>He knew, though he could not remember that he had ever been told, that
a certain faded, wistful face, that looked at him from a plush and gilt
framed daguerreotype above the mantel of the "sitting-room," was the
face of his mother. But that knowledge did not touch his dim memories
with any elucidation. In that photograph she was a girlish figure,
leaning against a photographer's stile, and with all the self-conscious
shrinking natural to that position. She had curly hair and a face far
younger and prettier than any other mother in his experience. She swung
a Dolly Varden hat by the string, and looked with obedient respectful
eyes on the photographer-gentleman who had commanded the pose. She was
very slight and pretty. But the phantom mother that haunted his memory
so elusively was not like that, though he could not remember how she
differed. Perhaps she was older, or a little less shrinking, or, it may
be, only dressed in a different way....</p>
<p>It is clear she handed him over to his aunt and uncle at New Romney with
explicit directions and a certain endowment. One gathers she had
something of that fine sense of social distinctions that subsequently
played so large a part in Kipps' career. He was not to go to a "common"
school, she provided, but to a certain seminary in Hastings that was not
only a "middle-class academy," with mortar boards and every evidence of
a higher social tone, but also remarkably cheap. She seems to have been
animated by the desire to do her best for Kipps, even at a <span class='pagenum'><SPAN name="Page_5" id="Page_5"></SPAN></span>certain
sacrifice of herself, as though Kipps were in some way a superior sort
of person. She sent pocket-money to him from time to time for a year or
more after Hastings had begun for him, but her face he never saw in the
days of his lucid memory.</p>
<p>His aunt and uncle were already high on the hill of life when first he
came to them. They had married for comfort in the evening or at any rate
in the late afternoon of their days. They were at first no more than
vague figures in the background of proximate realities, such realities
as familiar chairs and tables, quiet to ride and drive, the newel of the
staircase, kitchen furniture, pieces of firewood, the boiler tap, old
newspapers, the cat, the High Street, the back yard and the flat fields
that are always so near in that little town. He knew all the stones in
the yard individually, the creeper in the corner, the dustbin and the
mossy wall, better than many men know the faces of their wives. There
was a corner under the ironing-board which by means of a shawl could,
under propitious gods, be made a very decent cubby-house, a corner that
served him for several years as the indisputable hub of the world; and
the stringy places in the carpet, the knots upon the dresser, and the
several corners of the rag hearthrug his uncle had made, became
essential parts of his mental foundations. The shop he did not know so
thoroughly—it was a forbidden region to him; yet somehow he managed to
know it very well.</p>
<p>His aunt and uncle were, as it were, the immediate<span class='pagenum'><SPAN name="Page_6" id="Page_6"></SPAN></span> gods of this world;
and, like the gods of the world of old, occasionally descended right
into it, with arbitrary injunctions and disproportionate punishments.
And, unhappily, one rose to their Olympian level at meals. Then one had
to say one's "grace," hold one's spoon and fork in mad, unnatural ways
called "properly," and refrain from eating even nice sweet things "too
fast." If he "gobbled" there was trouble, and at the slightest <i>abandon</i>
with knife, fork, and spoon, his aunt rapped his knuckles, albeit his
uncle always finished up his gravy with his knife. Sometimes, moreover,
his uncle would come, pipe in hand, out of a sedentary remoteness in the
most disconcerting way, when a little boy was doing the most natural and
attractive things, with "Drat and drabbit that young rascal! What's he
a-doing of now?" And his aunt would appear at door or window to
interrupt interesting conversation with children who were upon unknown
grounds considered "low" and undesirable, and call him in. The
pleasantest little noises, however softly you did them,—drumming on
tea-trays, trumpeting your fists, whistling on keys, ringing chimes with
a couple of pails, or playing tunes on the window-panes,—brought down
the gods in anger. Yet what noise is fainter than your finger on the
window—gently done? Sometimes, however, these gods gave him broken toys
out of the shop, and then one loved them better—for the shop they kept
was, among other things, a toy shop. (The other things included books to
read and books to give away and<span class='pagenum'><SPAN name="Page_7" id="Page_7"></SPAN></span> local photographs; it had some
pretensions also to be a china shop, and the fascia spoke of glass; it
was also a stationer's shop with a touch of haberdashery about it, and
in the windows and odd corners were mats and terra-cotta dishes, and
milking-stools for painting; and there was a hint of picture-frames, and
fire-screens, and fishing tackle, and air-guns, and bathing suits, and
tents: various things, indeed, but all cruelly attractive to a small
boy's fingers.) Once his aunt gave him a trumpet if he would <i>promise</i>
faithfully not to blow it, and afterwards took it away again. And his
aunt made him say his Catechism and something she certainly called the
"Colic for the Day" every Sunday in the year.</p>
<p>As the two grew old while he grew up, and as his impression of them
modified insensibly from year to year, it seemed to him at last that
they had always been as they were when, in his adolescent days, his
impression of things grew fixed. His aunt he thought of as always lean,
rather worried-looking, and prone to a certain obliquity of cap, and his
uncle massive, many-chinned, and careless about his buttons. They
neither visited nor received visitors. They were always very suspicious
about their neighbours and other people generally; they feared the "low"
and they hated and despised the "stuck-up," and so they "kept themselves
<i>to</i> themselves," according to the English ideal. Consequently little
Kipps had no playmates, except through the sin of disobedience. By
inherent nature he had a sociable disposition. When he was<span class='pagenum'><SPAN name="Page_8" id="Page_8"></SPAN></span> in the High
Street he made a point of saying "Hello!" to passing cyclists, and he
would put his tongue out at the Quodling children whenever their
nursemaid was not looking. And he began a friendship with Sid Pornick,
the son of the haberdasher next door, that, with wide intermissions, was
destined to last his lifetime through.</p>
<p>Pornick, the haberdasher, I may say at once, was, according to old
Kipps, a "blaring jackass"; he was a teetotaller, a "nyar, nyar,
'im-singing Methodis'," and altogether distasteful and detrimental, he
and his together, to true Kipps ideals, so far as little Kipps could
gather them. This Pornick certainly possessed an enormous voice, and he
annoyed old Kipps greatly by calling, "You—Arn" and "Siddee," up and
down his house. He annoyed old Kipps by private choral services on
Sunday, all his family "nyar, nyar-ing"; and by mushroom culture; by
behaving as though the pilaster between the two shops was common
property; by making a noise of hammering in the afternoon, when old
Kipps wanted to be quiet after his midday meal; by going up and down
uncarpeted stairs in his boots; by having a black beard; by attempting
to be friendly; and by—all that sort of thing. In fact, he annoyed old
Kipps. He annoyed him especially with his shop doormat. Old Kipps never
beat his mat, preferring to let sleeping dust lie; and, seeking a motive
for a foolish proceeding, he held that Pornick waited until there was a
suitable wind in order that the dust disengaged in that operation might
defile his<span class='pagenum'><SPAN name="Page_9" id="Page_9"></SPAN></span> neighbour's shop. These issues would frequently develop into
loud and vehement quarrels, and on one occasion came so near to violence
as to be subsequently described by Pornick (who read his newspaper) as a
"Disgraceful Frackass." On that occasion he certainly went into his own
shop with extreme celerity.</p>
<p>But it was through one of these quarrels that the friendship of little
Kipps and Sid Pornick came about. The two small boys found themselves
one day looking through the gate at the doctor's goats together; they
exchanged a few contradictions about which goat could fight which, and
then young Kipps was moved to remark that Sid's father was a "blaring
jackass." Sid said he wasn't, and Kipps repeated that he was, and quoted
his authority. Then Sid, flying off at a tangent rather alarmingly, said
he could fight young Kipps with one hand, an assertion young Kipps with
a secret want of confidence denied. There were some vain repetitions,
and the incident might have ended there, but happily a sporting butcher
boy chanced on the controversy at this stage, and insisted upon seeing fair play.</p>
<p>The two small boys under his pressing encouragement did at last button
up their jackets, square and fight an edifying drawn battle, until it
seemed good to the butcher boy to go on with Mrs. Holyer's mutton. Then,
according to his directions and under his experienced stage management,
they shook hands and made it up. Subsequently, a little tear-stained
perhaps, but flushed with the butcher boy's approval<span class='pagenum'><SPAN name="Page_10" id="Page_10"></SPAN></span> ("tough little
kids"), and with cold stones down their necks as he advised, they sat
side by side on the doctor's gate, projecting very much behind,
staunching an honourable bloodshed, and expressing respect for one
another. Each had a bloody nose and a black eye—three days later they
matched to a shade—neither had given in, and, though this was tacit,
neither wanted any more.</p>
<p>It was an excellent beginning. After this first encounter the attributes
of their parents and their own relative value in battle never rose
between them, and if anything was wanted to complete the warmth of their
regard it was found in a joint dislike of the eldest Quodling. The
eldest Quodling lisped, had a silly sort of straw hat and a large pink
face (all covered over with self-satisfaction), and he went to the
National School with a green baize bag—a contemptible thing to do. They
called him names and threw stones at him, and when he replied by
threatenings ("Look 'ere, young Art Kipth, you better <i>thtoppit</i>!") they
were moved to attack and put him to flight.</p>
<p>And after that they broke the head of Ann Pornick's doll, so that she
went home weeping loudly—a wicked and endearing proceeding. Sid was
whacked, but, as he explained, he wore a newspaper tactically adjusted
during the transaction, and really it didn't hurt him at all.... And
Mrs. Pornick put her head out of the shop door suddenly, and threatened
Kipps as he passed.</p>
<p><span class='pagenum'><SPAN name="Page_11" id="Page_11"></SPAN></span></p>
<p class="center">§2</p>
<p>"Cavendish Academy," the school that had won the limited choice of
Kipps' vanished mother, was established in a battered private house in
the part of Hastings remotest from the sea; it was called an Academy for
Young Gentlemen, and many of the young gentlemen had parents in "India,"
and other unverifiable places. Others were the sons of credulous widows,
anxious, as Kipps' mother had been, to get something a little "superior"
to a board school education as cheaply as possible; and others again
were sent to demonstrate the dignity of their parents and guardians. And
of course there were boys from France.</p>
<p>Its "principal" was a lean, long creature of indifferent digestion and
temper, who proclaimed himself on a gilt-lettered board in his front
garden George Garden Woodrow, F.S.Sc., letters indicating that he had
paid certain guineas for a bogus diploma. A bleak white-washed outhouse
constituted his schoolroom, and the scholastic quality of its carved and
worn desks and forms was enhanced by a slippery blackboard and two large
yellow out-of-date maps, one of Africa and the other of Wiltshire, that
he had picked up cheap at a sale. There were other maps and globes in
his study, where he interviewed inquiring parents, but these his pupils
never saw. And in a glass cupboard in the passage was several
shillingsworth of test tubes and chemicals, a tripod, a glass retort,
and a damaged<span class='pagenum'><SPAN name="Page_12" id="Page_12"></SPAN></span> Bunsen burner, manifesting that the "Scientific
laboratory" mentioned in the prospectus was no idle boast.</p>
<p>This prospectus, which was in dignified but incorrect English, laid
particular stress on the sound preparation for a commercial career given
in the Academy, but the army, navy and civil service were glanced at in
an ambiguous sentence. There was something vague in the prospectus about
"examinational successes"—though Woodrow, of course, disapproved of
"cram"—and a declaration that the curriculum included "art," "modern
foreign languages" and "a sound technical and scientific training." Then
came insistence upon the "moral well-being" of the pupils, and an
emphatic boast of the excellence of the religious instruction, "so often
neglected nowadays even in schools of wide repute." "That's bound to
fetch 'em," Mr. Woodrow had remarked when he drew up the prospectus. And
in conjunction with the mortarboards it certainly did. Attention was
directed to the "motherly" care of Mrs. Woodrow—in reality a small
partially effaced woman with a plaintive face and a mind above cookery;
and the prospectus concluded with a phrase intentionally vague, "Fare
unrestricted, and our own milk and produce."</p>
<p>The memories Kipps carried from that school into after life were set in
an atmosphere of stuffiness and mental muddle; and included countless
pictures of sitting on creaking forms bored and idle, of blot licking
and the taste of ink, of torn books with covers that set one's teeth on
edge, of the slimy surface of the<span class='pagenum'><SPAN name="Page_13" id="Page_13"></SPAN></span> laboured slates, of furtive
marble-playing, whispered story-telling, and of pinches, blows, and a
thousand such petty annoyances being perpetually "passed on" according
to the custom of the place, of standing up in class and being hit
suddenly and unreasonably for imaginary misbehaviour, of Mr. Woodrow's
raving days, when a scarcely sane injustice prevailed, of the cold
vacuity of the hour of preparation before the bread-and-butter
breakfast, and of horrible headaches and queer, unprecedented, internal
feelings resulting from Mrs. Woodrow's motherly rather than intelligent
cookery. There were dreary walks, when the boys marched two by two, all
dressed in the mortarboard caps that so impressed the widowed mothers;
there were dismal half-holidays when the weather was wet and the spirit
of evil temper and evil imagination had the pent boys to work its will
on; there were unfair, dishonourable fights and miserable defeats and
victories, there was bullying and being bullied. A coward boy Kipps
particularly afflicted, until at last he was goaded to revolt by
incessant persecution, and smote Kipps to tolerance with whirling fists.
There were memories of sleeping three in a bed, of the dense leathery
smell of the schoolroom when one returned thither after ten minutes'
play, of a playground of mud and incidental sharp flints. And there was
much furtive foul language.</p>
<p>"Our Sundays are our happiest days," was one of Woodrow's formulæ with
the inquiring parent, but Kipps was not called in evidence. They were to
him<span class='pagenum'><SPAN name="Page_14" id="Page_14"></SPAN></span> terrible gaps of inanity—no work, no play, a drear expanse of time
with the mystery of church twice and plum duff once in the middle. The
afternoon was given up to furtive relaxations, among which "Torture
Chamber" games with the less agreeable, weaker boys figured. It was from
the difference between this day and common days that Kipps derived his
first definite conceptions of the nature of God and heaven. His instinct
was to evade any closer acquaintance as long as he could.</p>
<p>The school work varied, according to the prevailing mood of Mr. Woodrow.
Sometimes that was a despondent lethargy; copy-books were distributed or
sums were "set," or the great mystery of bookkeeping was declared in
being, and beneath these superficial activities lengthy conversations
and interminable guessing games with marbles went on while Mr. Woodrow
sat inanimate at his desk heedless of school affairs, staring in front
of him at unseen things. At times his face was utterly inane, at times
it had an expression of stagnant amazement, as if he saw before his eyes
with pitiless clearness the dishonour and mischief of his being....</p>
<p>At other times the F.S.Sc. roused himself to action, and would stand up
a wavering class and teach it, goading it with bitter mockery and blows
through a chapter of Ann's "First French Course," or "France and the
French," or a Dialogue about a traveller's washing, or the parts of an
opera-house. His own knowledge of French had been obtained years ago in<span class='pagenum'><SPAN name="Page_15" id="Page_15"></SPAN></span>
another English private school, and he had refreshed it by occasional
weeks of loafing and mean adventure in Dieppe. He would sometimes in
their lessons hit upon some reminiscence of these brighter days, and
then he would laugh inexplicably and repeat French phrases of an
unfamiliar type.</p>
<p>Among the commoner exercises he prescribed the learning of long passages
of poetry from a "Poetry Book," which he would delegate an elder boy to
"hear," and there was reading aloud from the Holy Bible, verse by
verse—it was none of your "godless" schools!—so that you counted the
verses up to your turn and then gave yourself to conversation—and
sometimes one read from a cheap History of this land. They did, as Kipps
reported, "loads of catechism." Also there was much learning of
geographical names and lists, and sometimes Woodrow in an outbreak of
energy would see these names were actually found on a map. And once,
just once, there was a chemistry lesson—a lesson of indescribable
excitement—glass things of the strangest shape, a smell like bad eggs,
something bubbling in something, a smash and stench, and Mr. Woodrow
saying quite distinctly—they thrashed it out in the dormitory
afterwards—"Damn!" followed by the whole school being kept in, with
extraordinary severities, for an hour....</p>
<p>But interspersed with the memories of this grey routine were certain
patches of brilliant colour—the holidays, his holidays, which in spite
of the feud between their seniors, he spent as much as possible with<span class='pagenum'><SPAN name="Page_16" id="Page_16"></SPAN></span>
Sid Pornick, the son of the irascible black-bearded haberdasher next
door. They seemed to be memories of a different world. There were
glorious days of "mucking about" along the beach, the siege of
unresisting Martello towers, the incessant interest of the mystery and
motion of windmills, the windy excursions with boarded feet over the
yielding shingle to Dungeness lighthouse—Sid Pornick and he far adrift
from reality, smugglers and armed men from the moment they left Great
Stone behind them—wanderings in the hedgeless reedy marsh, long
excursions reaching even to Hythe, where the machine guns of the Empire
are forever whirling and tapping, and to Rye and Winchelsea, perched
like dream-cities on their little hills. The sky in these memories was
the blazing hemisphere of the marsh heavens in summer, or its wintry
tumult of sky and sea; and there were wrecks, real wrecks, in it (near
Dymchurch pitched high and blackened and rotting were the ribs of a
fishing smack flung aside like an empty basket when the sea had devoured
its crew); and there was bathing all naked in the sea, bathing to one's
armpits and even trying to swim in the warm sea-water (spite of his
aunt's prohibition), and (with her indulgence) the rare eating of dinner
from a paper parcel miles away from home. Toke and cold ground rice
pudding with plums it used to be—there is no better food at all. And
for the background, in the place of Woodrow's mean, fretting rule, were
his aunt's spare but frequently quite amiable figure—for though she
insisted<span class='pagenum'><SPAN name="Page_17" id="Page_17"></SPAN></span> on his repeating the English Church Catechism every Sunday,
she had an easy way over dinners that one wanted to take abroad—and his
uncle, corpulent and irascible, but sedentary and easily escaped. And freedom!</p>
<p>The holidays were indeed very different from school. They were free,
they were spacious, and though he never knew it in these words—they had
an element of beauty. In his memory of his boyhood they shone like
strips of stained glass window in a dreary waste of scholastic wall,
they grew brighter and brighter as they grew remoter. There came a time
at last and moods when he could look back to them with a feeling akin to tears.</p>
<p>The last of these windows was the brightest, and instead of the
kaleidoscopic effects of its predecessors its glory was a single figure.
For in the last of his holidays, before the Moloch of Retail Trade got
hold of him, Kipps made his first tentative essays at the mysterious
shrine of Love. Very tentative they were, for he had become a boy of
subdued passions, and potential rather than actual affectionateness.</p>
<p>And the objects of these first stirrings of the great desire was no
other than Ann Pornick, the head of whose doll he and Sid had broken
long ago, and rejoiced over long ago, in the days when he had yet to
learn the meaning of a heart.</p>
<p><span class='pagenum'><SPAN name="Page_18" id="Page_18"></SPAN></span></p>
<p class="center">§3</p>
<p>Negotiations were already on foot to make Kipps into a draper before he
discovered the lights that lurked in Ann Pornick's eyes. School was
over, absolutely over, and it was chiefly present to him that he was
never to go to school again. It was high summer. The "breaking up" of
school had been hilarious; and the excellent maxim, "Last Day's Pay
Day," had been observed by him with a scrupulous attention to his
honour. He had punched the heads of all his enemies, wrung wrists and
kicked shins; he had distributed all his unfinished copybooks, all his
school books, his collection of marbles and his mortarboard cap among
such as loved him; and he had secretly written in obscure pages of their
books, "remember Art Kipps." He had also split the anæmic Woodrow's
cane, carved his own name deeply in several places about the premises,
and broken the scullery window. He had told everybody so often that he
was to learn to be a sea captain that he had come almost to believe the
thing himself. And now he was home, and school was at an end for him for evermore.</p>
<p>He was up before six on the day of his return, and out in the hot
sunlight of the yard. He set himself to whistle a peculiarly penetrating
arrangement of three notes supposed by the boys of the Hastings Academy
and himself and Sid Pornick, for no earthly reason whatever, to be the
original Huron war-cry. As he did this he feigned not to be doing it,
because<span class='pagenum'><SPAN name="Page_19" id="Page_19"></SPAN></span> of the hatred between his uncle and the Pornicks, but to be
examining with respect and admiration a new wing of the dustbin recently
erected by his uncle—a pretence that would not have deceived a nestling tomtit.</p>
<p>Presently there came a familiar echo from the Pornick hunting-ground.
Then Kipps began to sing, "Ar pars eight tra-la, in the lane be'ind the
church." To which an unseen person answered, "Ar pars eight it is, in
the lane be'ind the church." The "tra-la" was considered to render this
sentence incomprehensible to the uninitiated. In order to conceal their
operations still more securely, both parties to this duet then gave vent
to a vocalisation of the Huron war-cry again, and after a lingering
repetition of the last and shrillest note, dispersed severally, as
became boys in the enjoyment of holidays, to light the house fires for the day.</p>
<p>Half-past eight found Kipps sitting on the sunlit gate at the top of the
long lane that runs towards the sea, clashing his boots in a slow
rhythm, and whistling with great violence all that he knew of an
excruciatingly pathetic air. There appeared along by the churchyard wall
a girl in a short frock, brown-haired, quick-coloured, and with dark
blue eyes. She had grown so that she was a little taller than Kipps, and
her colour had improved. He scarcely remembered her, so changed was she
since last holidays—if indeed he had seen her last holidays, a thing he
could not clearly remember. Some vague emotion arose at the<span class='pagenum'><SPAN name="Page_20" id="Page_20"></SPAN></span> sight of
her. He stopped whistling and regarded her, oddly tongue-tied.</p>
<p>"He can't come," said Ann, advancing boldly. "Not yet."</p>
<p>"What—not Sid?"</p>
<p>"No. Father's made him dust all his boxes again."</p>
<p>"What for?"</p>
<p>"I dunno. Father's in a stew 'smorning."</p>
<p>"Oh!"</p>
<p>Pause. Kipps looked at her, and then was unable to look at her again.
She regarded him with interest. "You left school?" she remarked after a pause.</p>
<p>"Yes."</p>
<p>"So's Sid."</p>
<p>The conversation languished. Ann put her hands on the top of the gate,
and began a stationary hopping, a sort of ineffectual gymnastic experiment.</p>
<p>"Can you run?" she said presently.</p>
<p>"Run you any day," said Kipps.</p>
<p>"Gimme a start?"</p>
<p>"Where for?" said Kipps.</p>
<p>Ann considered, and indicated a tree. She walked towards it, and turned.
"Gimme to here?" she called.</p>
<p>Kipps, standing now and touching the gate, smiled to express conscious
superiority. "Further!" he said.</p>
<p>"Here?"</p>
<p>"Bit more!" said Kipps, and then, repenting of his magnanimity, said
"Orf!" suddenly, and so recovered his lost concession.</p>
<p><span class='pagenum'><SPAN name="Page_21" id="Page_21"></SPAN></span></p>
<p>They arrived abreast at the tree, flushed and out of breath.</p>
<p>"Tie!" said Ann, throwing her hair back from her face with her hand.</p>
<p>"I won," panted Kipps.</p>
<p>They disputed firmly but quite politely.</p>
<p>"Run it again, then," said Kipps. "<i>I</i> don't mind."</p>
<p>They returned towards the gate.</p>
<p>"You don't run bad," said Kipps, temperately expressing sincere
admiration. "I'm pretty good, you know."</p>
<p>Ann sent her hair back by an expert toss of the head. "You give me a
start," she allowed.</p>
<p>They became aware of Sid approaching them.</p>
<p>"You better look out, young Ann," said Sid, with that irreverent want of
sympathy usual in brothers. "You been out nearly 'arf-hour. Nothing
ain't been done upstairs. Father said he didn't know where you was, but
when he did he'd warm y'r young ear."</p>
<p>Ann prepared to go.</p>
<p>"How about that race?" asked Kipps.</p>
<p>"Lor!" cried Sid, quite shocked. "You ain't been racing <i>her!</i>"</p>
<p>Ann swung herself round the end of the gate with her eyes on Kipps, and
then turned away suddenly and ran off down the lane.</p>
<p>Kipps' eyes tried to go after her, and came back to Sid's.</p>
<p>"I give her a lot of start," said Kipps apologetically. "It wasn't a
proper race." And so the subject<span class='pagenum'><SPAN name="Page_22" id="Page_22"></SPAN></span> was dismissed. But Kipps was
<i>distrait</i> for some seconds, perhaps, and the mischief had begun in him.</p>
<p class="center">§4</p>
<p>They proceeded to the question of how two accomplished Hurons might most
satisfactorily spend the morning. Manifestly their line lay straight
along the lane to the sea.</p>
<p>"There's a new wreck," said Sid, "and my!—don't it smell just!"</p>
<p>"Smell?"</p>
<p>"Fair make you sick. It's rotten wheat."</p>
<p>They fell to talking of wrecks, and so came to ironclads and wars and
suchlike manly matters.</p>
<p>Half-way to the wreck Kipps made a casual irrelevant remark. "Your
sister ain't a bad sort," he said off-handedly.</p>
<p>"I clout her a lot," said Sidney modestly, and after a pause the talk
reverted to more suitable topics.</p>
<p>The new wreck was full of rotting grain, and smelt abominably, even as
Sid had said. This was excellent. They had it all to themselves. They
took possession of it in force, at Sid's suggestion, and had speedily to
defend it against enormous numbers of imaginary "natives," who were at
last driven off by loud shouts of <i>bang</i>, <i>bang</i>, and vigorous thrusting
and shoving of sticks. Then, also at Sid's direction, they sailed with
it into the midst of a combined French, German and Russian fleet,
demolishing the <span class='pagenum'><SPAN name="Page_23" id="Page_23"></SPAN></span>combination unassisted, and having descended to the
beach, clambered up the side and cut out their own vessel in brilliant
style, they underwent a magnificent shipwreck (with vocalised thunder)
and floated "waterlogged"—so Sid insisted—upon an exhausted sea.</p>
<p>These things drove Ann out of mind for a time. But at last, as they
drifted without food or water upon a stagnant ocean, haggard-eyed, chins
between their hands, looking in vain for a sail, she came to mind again abruptly.</p>
<p>"It's rather nice 'aving sisters," remarked one perishing mariner.</p>
<p>Sid turned round and regarded him thoughtfully. "Not it!" he said.</p>
<p>"No?"</p>
<p>"Not a bit of it." He grinned confidentially. "Know too much," he said;
and afterwards, "Get out of things."</p>
<p>He resumed his gloomy scrutiny of the hopeless horizon. Presently he
fell to spitting jerkily between his teeth, as he had read was the way
with such ripe manhood as chews its quid.</p>
<p>"Sisters," he said, "is rot. That's what sisters are. Girls if you like,
but sisters—no!"</p>
<p>"But ain't sisters girls?"</p>
<p>"<i>N-eaow!</i>" said Sid, with unspeakable scorn.</p>
<p>And Kipps answered, "Of course. I didn't mean—— I wasn't thinking of
that."</p>
<p>"You got a girl?" asked Sid, spitting very cleverly again.</p>
<p><span class='pagenum'><SPAN name="Page_24" id="Page_24"></SPAN></span></p>
<p>Kipps admitted his deficiency. He felt compunction.</p>
<p>"You don't know who <i>my</i> girl is, Art Kipps—I bet."</p>
<p>"Who is, then?" asked Kipps, still chiefly occupied by his own poverty.</p>
<p>"Ah!"</p>
<p>Kipps let a moment elapse before he did his duty. "Tell us!"</p>
<p>Sid eyed him and hesitated. "Secret?" he said.</p>
<p>"Secret."</p>
<p>"Dying solemn?"</p>
<p>"Dying solemn!" Kipps' self-concentration passed into curiosity.</p>
<p>Sid administered a terrible oath. Even after that precaution he adhered
lovingly to his facts. "It begins with a Nem," he said, doling them out
parsimoniously. "M A U D," he spelt, with a stern eye on Kipps, "C H A R
T E R I S."</p>
<p>Now, Maud Charteris was a young person of eighteen and the daughter of
the vicar of St. Bavon's,—besides which she had a bicycle,—so that as
her name unfolded the face of Kipps lengthened with respect. "Get out!"
he gasped incredulously. "She ain't your girl, Sid Pornick."</p>
<p>"She is!" answered Sid, stoutly.</p>
<p>"What—truth?"</p>
<p>"<i>Truth.</i>"</p>
<p>Kipps scrutinised his face. "Reely?"</p>
<p>Sid touched wood, whistled, and repeated a binding doggerel with great
solemnity.</p>
<p><span class='pagenum'><SPAN name="Page_25" id="Page_25"></SPAN></span></p>
<p>Kipps still struggled with the amazing new light on the world about
him. "D'you mean—she knows?"</p>
<p>Sid flushed deeply, and his aspect became stern and gloomy. He resumed
his wistful scrutiny of the sunlit sea. "I'd die for that girl, Art
Kipps," he said presently, and Kipps did not press a question he felt to
be ill timed. "I'd do anything she asked me to do," said Sid—"just
anything. If she was to ask me to chuck myself into the sea." He met
Kipps' eye. "I <i>would</i>," he said.</p>
<p>They were pensive for a space, and then Sid began to discourse in
fragments of Love, a theme upon which Kipps had already in a furtive way
meditated a little, but which, apart from badinage, he had never yet
heard talked about in the light of day. Of course many and various
aspects of life had come to light in the muffled exchange of knowledge
that went on under the shadow of Woodrow, but this of Sentimental Love
was not among them. Sid, who was a boy with an imagination, having once
broached this topic, opened his heart, or at any rate a new wing of his
heart, to Kipps, and found no fault with Kipps for a lack of return. He
produced a thumbed novelette that had played a part in his sentimental
awakening; he proffered it to Kipps, and confessed there was a character
in it, a baronet, singularly like himself. This baronet was a person of
volcanic passions which he concealed beneath a demeanour of "icy
cynicism." The utmost expression he permitted himself was to grit his
teeth; and now his attention was called to it,<span class='pagenum'><SPAN name="Page_26" id="Page_26"></SPAN></span> Kipps remarked that Sid
also had a habit of gritting his teeth—and indeed had had all the
morning. They read for a time, and presently Sid talked again. The
conception of love Sid made evident was compact of devotion and much
spirited fighting and a touch of mystery; but through all that cloud of
talk there floated before Kipps a face that was flushed and hair that
was tossed aside.</p>
<p>So they budded, sitting on the blackening old wreck in which men had
lived and died, looking out to sea, talking of that other sea upon which
they must presently embark....</p>
<p>They ceased to talk, and Sid read; but Kipps falling behind with the
reading and not wishing to admit that he read slowlier than Sid, whose
education was of the inferior elementary school brand, lapsed into
meditation.</p>
<p>"I <i>would</i> like to 'ave a girl," said Kipps. "I mean just to talk to and
all that...."</p>
<p>A floating object distracted them at last from this obscure topic. They
abandoned the wreck and followed the new interest a mile along the
beach, bombarding it with stones until it came to land. They had
inclined to a view that it would contain romantic mysteries, but it was
simply an ill-preserved kitten—too much even for them. And at last they
were drawn dinnerward and went home hungry and pensive side by side.</p>
<p><span class='pagenum'><SPAN name="Page_27" id="Page_27"></SPAN></span></p>
<p class="center">§5</p>
<p>But Kipps' imagination had been warmed by that talk of love, and in the
afternoon, when he saw Ann Pornick in the High Street and said "Hello!"
it was a different "hello" from that of their previous intercourse. And
when they had passed they both looked back and caught each other doing
so. Yes, he <i>did</i> want a girl badly....</p>
<p>Afterwards he was distracted by a traction engine going through the
town, and his aunt had got some sprats for supper. When he was in bed,
however, sentiment came upon him again in a torrent quite abruptly and
abundantly, and he put his head under the pillow and whispered very
softly, "I love Ann Pornick," as a sort of supplementary devotion.</p>
<p>In his subsequent dreams he ran races with Ann, and they lived in a
wreck together, and always her face was flushed and her hair about her
face. They just lived in a wreck and ran races, and were very, very fond
of one another. And their favourite food was rock-chocolate, dates, such
as one buys off barrows, and sprats—fried sprats....</p>
<p>In the morning he could hear Ann singing in the scullery next door. He
listened to her for some time, and it was clear to him that he must put
things before her.</p>
<p>Towards dusk that evening they chanced on one another at the gate by the
church; but though there was much in his mind, it stopped there with a
resolute<span class='pagenum'><SPAN name="Page_28" id="Page_28"></SPAN></span> shyness until he and Ann were out of breath catching
cockchafers, and were sitting on that gate of theirs again. Ann sat up
upon the gate, dark against vast masses of flaming crimson and darkling
purple, and her eyes looked at Kipps from a shadowed face. There came a
stillness between them, and quite abruptly he was moved to tell his love.</p>
<p>"Ann," he said, "I <i>do</i> like you. I wish you was my girl.... I say, Ann:
will you <i>be</i> my girl?"</p>
<p>Ann made no pretence of astonishment. She weighed the proposal for a
moment with her eyes on Kipps. "If you like, Artie," she said lightly.
"<i>I</i> don't mind if I am."</p>
<p>"All right," said Kipps, breathless with excitement, "then you are."</p>
<p>"All right," said Ann.</p>
<p>Something seemed to fall between them, and they no longer looked openly
at one another. "Lor'!" cried Ann suddenly, "see that one!" and jumped
down and darted after a cockchafer that had boomed within a yard of her
face. And with that they were girl and boy again....</p>
<p>They avoided their new relationship painfully.</p>
<p>They did not recur to it for several days, though they met twice. Both
felt that there remained something before this great experience was
complete, but there was an infinite diffidence about the next step.
Kipps talked in fragments of all sorts of matters, telling particularly
of the great things that were being done to make a man and a draper of
him, how he had<span class='pagenum'><SPAN name="Page_29" id="Page_29"></SPAN></span> two new pairs of trousers and a black coat and four new
shirts. And all the while his imagination was urging him to that unknown
next step, and when he was alone and in the dark he became even an
enterprising wooer. It became evident to him that it would be nice to
take Ann by the hand; even the decorous novelettes Sid affected egged
him on to that greater nearness of intimacy.</p>
<p>Then a great idea came to him, in a paragraph called "Lovers' Tokens"
that he read in a torn fragment of <i>Tit Bits</i>. It fell in to the measure
of his courage—a divided sixpence! He secured his aunt's best scissors,
fished a sixpence out of his jejune tin money-box, and jabbed his finger
in a varied series of attempts to get it in half. When they met again
the sixpence was still undivided. He had not intended to mention the
matter to her at that stage, but it came up spontaneously. He
endeavoured to explain the theory of broken sixpences and his unexpected
failure to break one.</p>
<p>"But what you break it for?" said Ann. "It's no good if it's broke."</p>
<p>"It's a Token," said Kipps.</p>
<p>"Like...?"</p>
<p>"Oh, you keep half and I keep half, and when we're sep'rated you look at
your half and I look at mine—see! Then we think of each other."</p>
<p>"Oh!" said Ann, and appeared to assimilate this information.</p>
<p>"Only <i>I</i> can't get it in 'arf nohow," said Kipps.</p>
<p><span class='pagenum'><SPAN name="Page_30" id="Page_30"></SPAN></span></p>
<p>They discussed this difficulty for some time without illumination. Then
Ann had a happy thought. "Tell you what," she said, starting away from
him abruptly and laying a hand on his arm, "you let <i>me</i> 'ave it, Artie.
I know where father keeps his file."</p>
<p>Kipps handed her the sixpence, and they came upon a pause.</p>
<p>"I'll easy do it," said Ann.</p>
<p>In considering the sixpence side by side, his head had come near her
cheek. Quite abruptly he was moved to take his next step into the
unknown mysteries of love.</p>
<p>"Ann," he said, and gulped at his temerity, "I <i>do</i> love you. Straight.
I'd do anything for you, Ann. Reely—I would."</p>
<p>He paused for breath. She answered nothing, but she was no doubt
enjoying herself. He came yet closer to her—his shoulder touched hers.
"Ann, I wish you'd——"</p>
<p>He stopped.</p>
<p>"What?" said Ann.</p>
<p>"Ann—lemme kiss you."</p>
<p>Things seemed to hang for a space; his tone, the drop of his courage,
made the thing incredible as he spoke. Kipps was not of that bold order
of wooers who impose conditions.</p>
<p>Ann perceived that she was not prepared for kissing after all. Kissing,
she said, was silly, and when Kipps would have displayed a belated
enterprise, she flung away from him. He essayed argument. He<span class='pagenum'><SPAN name="Page_31" id="Page_31"></SPAN></span> stood afar
off, as it were—the better part of a yard—and said she <i>might</i> let him
kiss her, and then that he didn't see what good it was for her to be his
girl if he couldn't kiss her.</p>
<p>She repeated that kissing was silly. A certain estrangement took them
homeward. They arrived in the dusky High Street not exactly together,
and not exactly apart, but struggling. They had not kissed, but all the
guilt of kissing was between them. When Kipps saw the portly contours of
his uncle standing dimly in the shop doorway, his footsteps faltered,
and the space between our young couple increased. Above, the window over
Pornick's shop was open, and Mrs. Pornick was visible, taking the air.
Kipps assumed an expression of extreme innocence. He found himself face
to face with his uncle's advanced outposts of waistcoat buttons.</p>
<p>"Where ye bin, my boy?"</p>
<p>"Bin for a walk, uncle."</p>
<p>"Not along of that brat of Pornick's?"</p>
<p>"Along of who?"</p>
<p>"That gell"—indicating Ann with his pipe.</p>
<p>"Oh, no, uncle!"—very faintly.</p>
<p>"Run in, my boy."</p>
<p>Old Kipps stood aside, with an oblique glance upward, and his nephew
brushed clumsily by him and vanished out of sight of the street, into
the vague obscurity of the little shop. The door closed behind old Kipps
with a nervous jangle of its bell, and he set himself to light the
single oil lamp that illuminated<span class='pagenum'><SPAN name="Page_32" id="Page_32"></SPAN></span> his shop at nights. It was an
operation requiring care and watching, or else it flared and "smelt."
Often it smelt after all. Kipps for some reason found the dusky
living-room with his aunt in it too populous for his feelings, and went upstairs.</p>
<p>"That brat of Pornick's!" It seemed to him that a horrible catastrophe
had occurred. He felt he had identified himself inextricably with his
uncle, and cut himself off from her for ever by saying "Oh, no!" At
supper he was so visibly depressed that his aunt asked him if he wasn't
feeling well. Under this imminent threat of medicine he assumed an
unnatural cheerfulness.</p>
<p>He lay awake for nearly half an hour that night, groaning because things
had all gone wrong—because Ann wouldn't let him kiss her, and because
his uncle had called her a brat. It seemed to Kipps almost as though he
himself had called her a brat....</p>
<p>There came an interval during which Ann was altogether inaccessible.
One, two, three days passed, and he did not see her. Sid he met several
times; they went fishing, and twice they bathed; but though Sid lent and
received back two further love stories, they talked no more of love.
They kept themselves in accord, however, agreeing that the most
flagrantly sentimental story was "proper." Kipps was always wanting to
speak of Ann, but never daring to do so. He saw her on Sunday evening
going off to chapel. She was more beautiful than ever in her Sunday
clothes, but she pretended not to see him because her<span class='pagenum'><SPAN name="Page_33" id="Page_33"></SPAN></span> mother was with
her. But he thought she pretended not to see him because she had given
him up for ever. Brat!—who could be expected ever to forgive that? He
abandoned himself to despair, he ceased even to haunt the places where
she might be found.</p>
<p class="center">§6</p>
<p>With paralysing unexpectedness came the end.</p>
<p>Mr. Shalford, the draper at Folkestone to whom he was to be bound
apprentice, had expressed a wish to "shape the lad a bit" before the
autumn sale. Kipps became aware that his box was being packed, and
gathered the full truth of things on the evening before his departure.
He became feverishly eager to see Ann just once more. He made silly and
needless excuses to go out into the yard, he walked three times across
the street without any excuse at all, to look up at the Pornick windows.
Still she was hidden. He grew desperate. It was within half an hour of
his departure that he came on Sid.</p>
<p>"Hello!" he said; "I'm orf!"</p>
<p>"Business?"</p>
<p>"Yes."</p>
<p>Pause.</p>
<p>"I say, Sid. You going 'ome?"</p>
<p>"Straight now."</p>
<p>"D'you mind? Ask Ann about that."</p>
<p>"About what?"</p>
<p>"She'll know."</p>
<p><span class='pagenum'><SPAN name="Page_34" id="Page_34"></SPAN></span></p>
<p>And Sid said he would. But even that, it seemed, failed to evoke Ann.</p>
<p>At last the Folkestone bus rumbled up, and he ascended. His aunt stood
in the doorway to see him off. His uncle assisted with the box and
portmanteau. Only furtively could he glance up at the Pornick windows,
and still it seemed Ann hardened her heart against him. "Get up!" said
the driver, and the hoofs began to clatter. No—she would not come out
even to see him off. The bus was in motion, and old Kipps was going back
into his shop. Kipps stared in front of him, assuring himself that he
did not care.</p>
<p>He heard a door slam, and instantly craned out his neck to look back. He
knew that slam so well. Behold! out of the haberdasher's door a small,
untidy figure in homely pink print had shot resolutely into the road,
and was sprinting in pursuit. In a dozen seconds she was abreast of the
bus. At the sight of her Kipps' heart began to beat very quickly, but he
made no immediate motion of recognition.</p>
<p>"Artie!" she cried breathlessly, "Artie! Artie! You know! I got <i>that</i>!"</p>
<p>The bus was already quickening its pace, and leaving her behind again,
when Kipps realized what "that" meant. He became animated, he gasped,
and gathered his courage together, and mumbled an incoherent request to
the driver to "stop jest a jiff for sunthin'." The driver grunted, as
the disparity of their years demanded, and then the bus had pulled up,
and Ann was below.</p>
<p><span class='pagenum'><SPAN name="Page_35" id="Page_35"></SPAN></span></p>
<p>She leapt up upon the wheel. Kipps looked down into Ann's face, and it
was foreshortened and resolute. He met her eyes just for one second as
their hands touched. He was not a reader of eyes. Something passed
quickly from hand to hand, something that the driver, alert at the
corner of his eye, was not allowed to see. Kipps hadn't a word to say,
and all she said was, "I done it, 'smorning." It was like a blank space
in which something pregnant should have been written and wasn't. Then
she dropped down, and the bus moved forward.</p>
<p>After the lapse of about ten seconds it occurred to him to stand and
wave his new bowler hat at her over the corner of the bus top, and to
shout hoarsely, "Goo-bye, Ann! Don' forget me—while I'm away!"</p>
<p>She stood in the road looking after him, and presently she waved her hand.</p>
<p>He remained standing unstably, his bright, flushed face looking back at
her, and his hair fluffing in the wind, and he waved his hat until at
last the bend of the road hid her from his eyes. Then he turned about
and sat down, and presently he began to put the half sixpence he held
clenched in his hand into his trouser pocket. He looked sideways at the
driver, to judge how much he had seen.</p>
<p>Then he fell a-thinking. He resolved that, come what might, when he came
back to New Romney at Christmas, he would by hook or by crook kiss Ann.</p>
<p>Then everything would be perfect and right, and he would be perfectly happy.</p>
<hr />
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