<h2>CHAPTER XXIV</h2>
<p>At the close of three weeks I was able to quit my chamber and move about the
house. And on the first occasion of my sitting up in the evening I asked
Catherine to read to me, because my eyes were weak. We were in the library, the
master having gone to bed: she consented, rather unwillingly, I fancied; and
imagining my sort of books did not suit her, I bid her please herself in the
choice of what she perused. She selected one of her own favourites, and got
forward steadily about an hour; then came frequent questions.</p>
<p>“Ellen, are not you tired? Hadn’t you better lie down now?
You’ll be sick, keeping up so long, Ellen.”</p>
<p>“No, no, dear, I’m not tired,” I returned, continually.</p>
<p>Perceiving me immovable, she essayed another method of showing her disrelish
for her occupation. It changed to yawning, and stretching, and—</p>
<p>“Ellen, I’m tired.”</p>
<p>“Give over then and talk,” I answered.</p>
<p>That was worse: she fretted and sighed, and looked at her watch till eight, and
finally went to her room, completely overdone with sleep; judging by her
peevish, heavy look, and the constant rubbing she inflicted on her eyes. The
following night she seemed more impatient still; and on the third from
recovering my company she complained of a headache, and left me. I thought her
conduct odd; and having remained alone a long while, I resolved on going and
inquiring whether she were better, and asking her to come and lie on the sofa,
instead of upstairs in the dark. No Catherine could I discover upstairs, and
none below. The servants affirmed they had not seen her. I listened at Mr.
Edgar’s door; all was silence. I returned to her apartment, extinguished
my candle, and seated myself in the window.</p>
<p>The moon shone bright; a sprinkling of snow covered the ground, and I reflected
that she might, possibly, have taken it into her head to walk about the garden,
for refreshment. I did detect a figure creeping along the inner fence of the
park; but it was not my young mistress: on its emerging into the light, I
recognised one of the grooms. He stood a considerable period, viewing the
carriage-road through the grounds; then started off at a brisk pace, as if he
had detected something, and reappeared presently, leading Miss’s pony;
and there she was, just dismounted, and walking by its side. The man took his
charge stealthily across the grass towards the stable. Cathy entered by the
casement-window of the drawing-room, and glided noiselessly up to where I
awaited her. She put the door gently to, slipped off her snowy shoes, untied
her hat, and was proceeding, unconscious of my espionage, to lay aside her
mantle, when I suddenly rose and revealed myself. The surprise petrified her an
instant: she uttered an inarticulate exclamation, and stood fixed.</p>
<p>“My dear Miss Catherine,” I began, too vividly impressed by her
recent kindness to break into a scold, “where have you been riding out at
this hour? And why should you try to deceive me by telling a tale? Where have
you been? Speak!”</p>
<p>“To the bottom of the park,” she stammered. “I didn’t
tell a tale.”</p>
<p>“And nowhere else?” I demanded.</p>
<p>“No,” was the muttered reply.</p>
<p>“Oh, Catherine!” I cried, sorrowfully. “You know you have
been doing wrong, or you wouldn’t be driven to uttering an untruth to me.
That does grieve me. I’d rather be three months ill, than hear you frame
a deliberate lie.”</p>
<p>She sprang forward, and bursting into tears, threw her arms round my neck.</p>
<p>“Well, Ellen, I’m so afraid of you being angry,” she said.
“Promise not to be angry, and you shall know the very truth: I hate to
hide it.”</p>
<p>We sat down in the window-seat; I assured her I would not scold, whatever her
secret might be, and I guessed it, of course; so she commenced—</p>
<p>“I’ve been to Wuthering Heights, Ellen, and I’ve never missed
going a day since you fell ill; except thrice before, and twice after you left
your room. I gave Michael books and pictures to prepare Minny every evening,
and to put her back in the stable: you mustn’t scold <i>him</i> either,
mind. I was at the Heights by half-past six, and generally stayed till
half-past eight, and then galloped home. It was not to amuse myself that I
went: I was often wretched all the time. Now and then I was happy: once in a
week perhaps. At first, I expected there would be sad work persuading you to
let me keep my word to Linton: for I had engaged to call again next day, when
we quitted him; but, as you stayed upstairs on the morrow, I escaped that
trouble. While Michael was refastening the lock of the park door in the
afternoon, I got possession of the key, and told him how my cousin wished me to
visit him, because he was sick, and couldn’t come to the Grange; and how
papa would object to my going: and then I negotiated with him about the pony.
He is fond of reading, and he thinks of leaving soon to get married; so he
offered, if I would lend him books out of the library, to do what I wished: but
I preferred giving him my own, and that satisfied him better.</p>
<p>“On my second visit Linton seemed in lively spirits; and Zillah (that is
their housekeeper) made us a clean room and a good fire, and told us that, as
Joseph was out at a prayer-meeting and Hareton Earnshaw was off with his
dogs—robbing our woods of pheasants, as I heard afterwards—we might
do what we liked. She brought me some warm wine and gingerbread, and appeared
exceedingly good-natured; and Linton sat in the arm-chair, and I in the little
rocking chair on the hearth-stone, and we laughed and talked so merrily, and
found so much to say: we planned where we would go, and what we would do in
summer. I needn’t repeat that, because you would call it silly.</p>
<p>“One time, however, we were near quarrelling. He said the pleasantest
manner of spending a hot July day was lying from morning till evening on a bank
of heath in the middle of the moors, with the bees humming dreamily about among
the bloom, and the larks singing high up overhead, and the blue sky and bright
sun shining steadily and cloudlessly. That was his most perfect idea of
heaven’s happiness: mine was rocking in a rustling green tree, with a
west wind blowing, and bright white clouds flitting rapidly above; and not only
larks, but throstles, and blackbirds, and linnets, and cuckoos pouring out
music on every side, and the moors seen at a distance, broken into cool dusky
dells; but close by great swells of long grass undulating in waves to the
breeze; and woods and sounding water, and the whole world awake and wild with
joy. He wanted all to lie in an ecstasy of peace; I wanted all to sparkle and
dance in a glorious jubilee. I said his heaven would be only half alive; and he
said mine would be drunk: I said I should fall asleep in his; and he said he
could not breathe in mine, and began to grow very snappish. At last, we agreed
to try both, as soon as the right weather came; and then we kissed each other
and were friends.</p>
<p>“After sitting still an hour, I looked at the great room with its smooth
uncarpeted floor, and thought how nice it would be to play in, if we removed
the table; and I asked Linton to call Zillah in to help us, and we’d have
a game at blindman’s-buff; she should try to catch us: you used to, you
know, Ellen. He wouldn’t: there was no pleasure in it, he said; but he
consented to play at ball with me. We found two in a cupboard, among a heap of
old toys, tops, and hoops, and battledores and shuttlecocks. One was marked C.,
and the other H.; I wished to have the C., because that stood for Catherine,
and the H. might be for Heathcliff, his name; but the bran came out of H., and
Linton didn’t like it. I beat him constantly; and he got cross again, and
coughed, and returned to his chair. That night, though, he easily recovered his
good humour: he was charmed with two or three pretty songs—<i>your</i>
songs, Ellen; and when I was obliged to go, he begged and entreated me to come
the following evening; and I promised. Minny and I went flying home as light as
air; and I dreamt of Wuthering Heights and my sweet, darling cousin, till
morning.</p>
<p>“On the morrow I was sad; partly because you were poorly, and partly that
I wished my father knew, and approved of my excursions: but it was beautiful
moonlight after tea; and, as I rode on, the gloom cleared. I shall have another
happy evening, I thought to myself; and what delights me more, my pretty Linton
will. I trotted up their garden, and was turning round to the back, when that
fellow Earnshaw met me, took my bridle, and bid me go in by the front entrance.
He patted Minny’s neck, and said she was a bonny beast, and appeared as
if he wanted me to speak to him. I only told him to leave my horse alone, or
else it would kick him. He answered in his vulgar accent, ‘It
wouldn’t do mitch hurt if it did;’ and surveyed its legs with a
smile. I was half inclined to make it try; however, he moved off to open the
door, and, as he raised the latch, he looked up to the inscription above, and
said, with a stupid mixture of awkwardness and elation: ‘Miss Catherine!
I can read yon, now.’</p>
<p>“‘Wonderful,’ I exclaimed. ‘Pray let us hear
you—you <i>are</i> grown clever!’</p>
<p>“He spelt, and drawled over by syllables, the name—‘Hareton
Earnshaw.’</p>
<p>“‘And the figures?’ I cried, encouragingly, perceiving that
he came to a dead halt.</p>
<p>“‘I cannot tell them yet,’ he answered.</p>
<p>“‘Oh, you dunce!’ I said, laughing heartily at his failure.</p>
<p>“The fool stared, with a grin hovering about his lips, and a scowl
gathering over his eyes, as if uncertain whether he might not join in my mirth:
whether it were not pleasant familiarity, or what it really was, contempt. I
settled his doubts, by suddenly retrieving my gravity and desiring him to walk
away, for I came to see Linton, not him. He reddened—I saw that by the
moonlight—dropped his hand from the latch, and skulked off, a picture of
mortified vanity. He imagined himself to be as accomplished as Linton, I
suppose, because he could spell his own name; and was marvellously discomfited
that I didn’t think the same.”</p>
<p>“Stop, Miss Catherine, dear!” I interrupted. “I shall not
scold, but I don’t like your conduct there. If you had remembered that
Hareton was your cousin as much as Master Heathcliff, you would have felt how
improper it was to behave in that way. At least, it was praiseworthy ambition
for him to desire to be as accomplished as Linton; and probably he did not
learn merely to show off: you had made him ashamed of his ignorance before, I
have no doubt; and he wished to remedy it and please you. To sneer at his
imperfect attempt was very bad breeding. Had <i>you</i> been brought up in his
circumstances, would you be less rude? He was as quick and as intelligent a
child as ever you were; and I’m hurt that he should be despised now,
because that base Heathcliff has treated him so unjustly.”</p>
<p>“Well, Ellen, you won’t cry about it, will you?” she
exclaimed, surprised at my earnestness. “But wait, and you shall hear if
he conned his A B C to please me; and if it were worth while being civil to the
brute. I entered; Linton was lying on the settle, and half got up to welcome
me.</p>
<p>“‘I’m ill to-night, Catherine, love,’ he said;
‘and you must have all the talk, and let me listen. Come, and sit by me.
I was sure you wouldn’t break your word, and I’ll make you promise
again, before you go.’</p>
<p>“I knew now that I mustn’t tease him, as he was ill; and I spoke
softly and put no questions, and avoided irritating him in any way. I had
brought some of my nicest books for him: he asked me to read a little of one,
and I was about to comply, when Earnshaw burst the door open: having gathered
venom with reflection. He advanced direct to us, seized Linton by the arm, and
swung him off the seat.</p>
<p>“‘Get to thy own room!’ he said, in a voice almost
inarticulate with passion; and his face looked swelled and furious. ‘Take
her there if she comes to see thee: thou shalln’t keep me out of this.
Begone wi’ ye both!’</p>
<p>“He swore at us, and left Linton no time to answer, nearly throwing him
into the kitchen; and he clenched his fist as I followed, seemingly longing to
knock me down. I was afraid for a moment, and I let one volume fall; he kicked
it after me, and shut us out. I heard a malignant, crackly laugh by the fire,
and turning, beheld that odious Joseph standing rubbing his bony hands, and
quivering.</p>
<p>“‘I wer sure he’d sarve ye out! He’s a grand lad!
He’s getten t’ raight sperrit in him! <i>He</i> knaws—ay, he
knaws, as weel as I do, who sud be t’ maister yonder—Ech, ech, ech!
He made ye skift properly! Ech, ech, ech!’</p>
<p>“‘Where must we go?’ I asked of my cousin, disregarding the
old wretch’s mockery.</p>
<p>“Linton was white and trembling. He was not pretty then, Ellen: oh, no!
he looked frightful; for his thin face and large eyes were wrought into an
expression of frantic, powerless fury. He grasped the handle of the door, and
shook it: it was fastened inside.</p>
<p>“‘If you don’t let me in, I’ll kill you!—If you
don’t let me in, I’ll kill you!’ he rather shrieked than
said. ‘Devil! devil!—I’ll kill you—I’ll kill
you!’</p>
<p>“Joseph uttered his croaking laugh again.</p>
<p>“‘Thear, that’s t’ father!’ he cried.
‘That’s father! We’ve allas summut o’ either side in
us. Niver heed, Hareton, lad—dunnut be ’feard—he cannot get
at thee!’</p>
<p>“I took hold of Linton’s hands, and tried to pull him away; but he
shrieked so shockingly that I dared not proceed. At last his cries were choked
by a dreadful fit of coughing; blood gushed from his mouth, and he fell on the
ground. I ran into the yard, sick with terror; and called for Zillah, as loud
as I could. She soon heard me: she was milking the cows in a shed behind the
barn, and hurrying from her work, she inquired what there was to do? I
hadn’t breath to explain; dragging her in, I looked about for Linton.
Earnshaw had come out to examine the mischief he had caused, and he was then
conveying the poor thing upstairs. Zillah and I ascended after him; but he
stopped me at the top of the steps, and said I shouldn’t go in: I must go
home. I exclaimed that he had killed Linton, and I <i>would</i> enter. Joseph
locked the door, and declared I should do ‘no sich stuff,’ and
asked me whether I were ‘bahn to be as mad as him.’ I stood crying
till the housekeeper reappeared. She affirmed he would be better in a bit, but
he couldn’t do with that shrieking and din; and she took me, and nearly
carried me into the house.</p>
<p>“Ellen, I was ready to tear my hair off my head! I sobbed and wept so
that my eyes were almost blind; and the ruffian you have such sympathy with
stood opposite: presuming every now and then to bid me ‘wisht,’ and
denying that it was his fault; and, finally, frightened by my assertions that I
would tell papa, and that he should be put in prison and hanged, he commenced
blubbering himself, and hurried out to hide his cowardly agitation. Still, I
was not rid of him: when at length they compelled me to depart, and I had got
some hundred yards off the premises, he suddenly issued from the shadow of the
road-side, and checked Minny and took hold of me.</p>
<p>“‘Miss Catherine, I’m ill grieved,’ he began,
‘but it’s rayther too bad—’</p>
<p>“I gave him a cut with my whip, thinking perhaps he would murder me. He
let go, thundering one of his horrid curses, and I galloped home more than half
out of my senses.</p>
<p>“I didn’t bid you good-night that evening, and I didn’t go to
Wuthering Heights the next: I wished to go exceedingly; but I was strangely
excited, and dreaded to hear that Linton was dead, sometimes; and sometimes
shuddered at the thought of encountering Hareton. On the third day I took
courage: at least, I couldn’t bear longer suspense, and stole off once
more. I went at five o’clock, and walked; fancying I might manage to
creep into the house, and up to Linton’s room, unobserved. However, the
dogs gave notice of my approach. Zillah received me, and saying ‘the lad
was mending nicely,’ showed me into a small, tidy, carpeted apartment,
where, to my inexpressible joy, I beheld Linton laid on a little sofa, reading
one of my books. But he would neither speak to me nor look at me, through a
whole hour, Ellen: he has such an unhappy temper. And what quite confounded me,
when he did open his mouth, it was to utter the falsehood that I had occasioned
the uproar, and Hareton was not to blame! Unable to reply, except passionately,
I got up and walked from the room. He sent after me a faint
‘Catherine!’ He did not reckon on being answered so: but I
wouldn’t turn back; and the morrow was the second day on which I stayed
at home, nearly determined to visit him no more. But it was so miserable going
to bed and getting up, and never hearing anything about him, that my resolution
melted into air before it was properly formed. It <i>had</i> appeared wrong to
take the journey once; now it seemed wrong to refrain. Michael came to ask if
he must saddle Minny; I said ‘Yes,’ and considered myself doing a
duty as she bore me over the hills. I was forced to pass the front windows to
get to the court: it was no use trying to conceal my presence.</p>
<p>“‘Young master is in the house,’ said Zillah, as she saw me
making for the parlour. I went in; Earnshaw was there also, but he quitted the
room directly. Linton sat in the great arm-chair half asleep; walking up to the
fire, I began in a serious tone, partly meaning it to be true—</p>
<p>“‘As you don’t like me, Linton, and as you think I come on
purpose to hurt you, and pretend that I do so every time, this is our last
meeting: let us say good-bye; and tell Mr. Heathcliff that you have no wish to
see me, and that he mustn’t invent any more falsehoods on the
subject.’</p>
<p>“‘Sit down and take your hat off, Catherine,’ he answered.
‘You are so much happier than I am, you ought to be better. Papa talks
enough of my defects, and shows enough scorn of me, to make it natural I should
doubt myself. I doubt whether I am not altogether as worthless as he calls me,
frequently; and then I feel so cross and bitter, I hate everybody! I <i>am</i>
worthless, and bad in temper, and bad in spirit, almost always; and, if you
choose, you <i>may</i> say good-bye: you’ll get rid of an annoyance.
Only, Catherine, do me this justice: believe that if I might be as sweet, and
as kind, and as good as you are, I would be; as willingly, and more so, than as
happy and as healthy. And believe that your kindness has made me love you
deeper than if I deserved your love: and though I couldn’t, and cannot
help showing my nature to you, I regret it and repent it; and shall regret and
repent it till I die!’</p>
<p>“I felt he spoke the truth; and I felt I must forgive him: and, though we
should quarrel the next moment, I must forgive him again. We were reconciled;
but we cried, both of us, the whole time I stayed: not entirely for sorrow; yet
I <i>was</i> sorry Linton had that distorted nature. He’ll never let his
friends be at ease, and he’ll never be at ease himself! I have always
gone to his little parlour, since that night; because his father returned the
day after.</p>
<p>“About three times, I think, we have been merry and hopeful, as we were
the first evening; the rest of my visits were dreary and troubled: now with his
selfishness and spite, and now with his sufferings: but I’ve learned to
endure the former with nearly as little resentment as the latter. Mr.
Heathcliff purposely avoids me: I have hardly seen him at all. Last Sunday,
indeed, coming earlier than usual, I heard him abusing poor Linton cruelly for
his conduct of the night before. I can’t tell how he knew of it, unless
he listened. Linton had certainly behaved provokingly: however, it was the
business of nobody but me, and I interrupted Mr. Heathcliff’s lecture by
entering and telling him so. He burst into a laugh, and went away, saying he
was glad I took that view of the matter. Since then, I’ve told Linton he
must whisper his bitter things. Now, Ellen, you have heard all. I can’t
be prevented from going to Wuthering Heights, except by inflicting misery on
two people; whereas, if you’ll only not tell papa, my going need disturb
the tranquillity of none. You’ll not tell, will you? It will be very
heartless, if you do.”</p>
<p>“I’ll make up my mind on that point by to-morrow, Miss
Catherine,” I replied. “It requires some study; and so I’ll
leave you to your rest, and go think it over.”</p>
<p>I thought it over aloud, in my master’s presence; walking straight from
her room to his, and relating the whole story: with the exception of her
conversations with her cousin, and any mention of Hareton. Mr. Linton was
alarmed and distressed, more than he would acknowledge to me. In the morning,
Catherine learnt my betrayal of her confidence, and she learnt also that her
secret visits were to end. In vain she wept and writhed against the interdict,
and implored her father to have pity on Linton: all she got to comfort her was
a promise that he would write and give him leave to come to the Grange when he
pleased; but explaining that he must no longer expect to see Catherine at
Wuthering Heights. Perhaps, had he been aware of his nephew’s disposition
and state of health, he would have seen fit to withhold even that slight
consolation.</p>
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