<hr style="width: 65%;" /><p><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_39" id="Page_39"></SPAN></span></p>
<h2>CHAPTER IV.</h2>
<div class='chaptertitle'>THE WEARY SPIRIT GIVES SOME ACCOUNT OF HIMSELF.</div>
<div class='unindent'><span class="smcap">How</span> long Hopkins would have remained in an
unconscious state had not a cold perspiration
sprung forth from his forehead, and, trickling
over his temples, brought him to his senses, I
cannot say. Suffice it to relate that his stupor
lasted hardly more than a minute. When he
opened his eyes and gazed over toward the
haunted vase, he saw there the same depressing
nothingness accompanied by the same soul-chilling
sighs that had so discomfited him. To
the ear there was something there, a something
quite as perceptible to the auricular sense as if
it were a living, tangible creature, but as imperceptible
to the eye as that which has never
existed. The presence, or whatever else it
was that had entered into Toppleton's life so
unceremoniously, was apparently much affected
by the searching gaze which its victim directed
toward it.<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_40" id="Page_40"></SPAN></span></div>
<p>"Don't look at me that way, I beg of you,
Mr. Toppleton," said the spirit after it had
sighed a half dozen times and given an occasional
nervous whistle. "I don't deserve all
that your glance implies, and if you could only
understand me, I think you would sympathize
with me in my trials."</p>
<p>"I? I sympathize with you? Well, I like
that," cried Toppleton, raising himself on his
elbow and staring blankly at the vase. "It
appears to me that I am the object of sympathy
this time. What the deuce are you, anyhow?
How am I to understand you, when you sit
around like a maudlin void lost in a vacuum?
Are you an apparition or what?"</p>
<p>"I am neither an apparition nor a what,"
returned the spirit. "I couldn't be an apparition
without appearing. I suppose you might
call me a limited perception; that is, I can be
perceived but not seen, although I am human."</p>
<p>"You must be a sort of cross between a
rumour and a small boy, I suppose; is that
it?" queried Toppleton, with a touch of sarcasm
in his tone.</p>
<p>"If you mean that I am half-way between
things which should be seen and not heard, and
other things which should be heard and not
seen, I fancy your surmise approximates
correctness. For my part, a love of conciseness<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_41" id="Page_41"></SPAN></span>
leads me to set myself down as a Presence,"
was the spirit's answer.</p>
<p>"I'll give you a liberal reward," retorted
Toppleton, eagerly, "if you'll place yourself in
the category of an Absence as regards me and
my office here; for, to tell you the truth, I am
addicted more or less to heart disease, and I
can't say I care to risk an association with a
vocally inclined zero, such as you seem to be.
What's your price?"</p>
<p>"You wrong me, Toppleton," returned the
Presence, indignantly, floating from the edge
of the vase over to the large rocking chair in
the corner by the window, which began at once
to sway to and fro, to the undisguised wonderment
of its owner. "I am not a blackmailer, as
you might see at once if you could look into
my face."</p>
<p>"Where do you keep your face?" asked
Hopkins, sitting up and embracing his knees.
"If you have brought it along with you for
heaven's sake trot it out. I can't ruin my eyes
on you as you are now. Have you no office
hours, say from ten to two, when you may be
seen by those desirous of feasting their eyes
upon your tangibility?"</p>
<p>"I am afraid you are joking, Hopkins," said
the spirit, growing familiar. "If you are, I beg
that you will stop. What is a good joke<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_42" id="Page_42"></SPAN></span>
to some eyes is a very serious matter to
others."</p>
<p>"That, my dear Presence," returned Toppleton,
"is a very true observation, as is borne out
by the large percentage of serious matter that
appears in comic journals."</p>
<p>"Please do not be flippant," said the voice
from the rocking-chair, sadly. "I have come
to you as a suppliant for assistance. The
fact that I have come without my body is
against me, I know, but that is a circumstance
over which I have absolutely no control. My
body has been stolen from me, and I am at
present a shapeless wanderer with nowhere to
lay my head, and no head to lay there, if perchance
the world held some corner that I
might call my own."</p>
<p>"I can't see what you have to complain
about on that score," said Toppleton, rising
from the floor and seizing a large magnifying
glass from his table and gazing searchingly
through it into the chair which still rocked
violently. "An individual like yourself, if you
are an individual, ought to be able to find
comfort anywhere. The avidity with which you
have seized upon that chair, and the extraordinary
vitality you seem to have imparted to its
rockers, indicate to my mind that the world
has about everything for you that any reasonable<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_43" id="Page_43"></SPAN></span>
being can desire. If you can percolate
into my apartment and make use of the luxuries
I had fondly hoped were exclusively mine, I
can't see what is to prevent your settling down
at Windsor Castle if you will. Aren't there
any comfortable chairs and beds there?"</p>
<p>"I don't know whether there are or not,"
replied the Presence. "I never went there, and
being a loyal British Presence, I should hesitate
very strongly before I would discommode the
Royal family."</p>
<p>"It might be awkward, I suppose," returned
Toppleton with a laugh, "if you should happen
to fall asleep in the Prince of Wales' favourite
arm-chair, and he should happen to come in
and sit on you, for I presume you are no more
visible to Royalty than you are to Republican
simplicity as embodied in myself. Still, as a
loyal British subject, I should think you'd
rather be sat on by the Prince than by a
common mortal."</p>
<p>As Hopkins spoke these words the chair
stopped rocking, and if its attitude meant anything,
its invisible occupant was leaning forward
and staring with pained astonishment at the
young lawyer, who was leaning gracefully against
the mantelpiece. Then on a sudden the chair's
attitude was relaxed and it rocked slowly backward
again, resuming its former pace. A few<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_44" id="Page_44"></SPAN></span>
minutes passed without a word being spoken,
at the end of which time the spirit sighed
deeply.</p>
<p>"Is there anything in this world," it asked,
"is there anything too sacred for you
Americans to joke about? Have you no ideals,
no—"</p>
<p>"Plenty of ideals but no special idols,"
returned Hopkins, perceiving the spirit's drift.
"But of course, if I hurt your feelings by joking
about the Prince, I apologize. Though unasked,
you are still my guest, and I should be very
sorry to seem lacking in courtesy. But tell
me about this body of yours. How did you
come to lose it, and is it still living?"</p>
<p>"Yes, it is still living," replied the spirit.
"Living a life of honoured ease."</p>
<p>"But how the deuce did you come to lose it?
that's what I can't understand. I have heard
of men losing pretty nearly everything but their
bodies."</p>
<p>"As I have already told you," said the spirit,
wearily, "it was stolen from me."</p>
<p>"And have you no clue to the thieves? Do
you know where it is?"</p>
<p>"Yes, I know where it is. In fact I saw it
only last week," replied the spirit with a sob,
"and it's getting old, Toppleton, very old.
When it was taken away from me it was erect<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_45" id="Page_45"></SPAN></span>
of stature, broad-shouldered, muscular and full
of health. To-day it is round-shouldered, flabby
and generally consumptive-looking. When I
occupied it, the face was clean-shaven and
ruddy. The hair was of a rich auburn, the
hands milk white. The carriage was graceful,
and about my lips there played a smile that
fascinated. The blue eyes sparkled, the teeth
shone out between my lips when I smiled, like a
strip of chased silver in the sunlight; I tell you,
Toppleton, when I had that body it had some
style about it; but now—it breaks my heart to
think of it now!"</p>
<p>"It hasn't lost its good looks altogether, has
it?" queried Hopkins, his voice slightly tremulous
with the sympathy he was beginning to
feel for this disembodied entity before him.</p>
<p>"It has," sobbed the spirit; "and I'm not
surprised that it has, considering the life it has
led since I lost it. The auburn hair that used
to be my mother's pride, and my schoolmates'
source of wit, has gradually dropped away and
left a hairless scalp of an insignificant pinkish
hue which would disgrace a shrimp. My once
happy smile has subsided into something like a
toothless sneer; for my dazzling teeth are no
more. The blue eyes are expressionless, the
elastic step is halting, and, what is worse, the
present occupant of my physical self has<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_46" id="Page_46"></SPAN></span>
grown a beard that makes me look like a
pirate."</p>
<p>"I wonder you recognized yourself," said
Hopkins.</p>
<p>"It was strange; but I did recognize myself
by my ring which I still wear," returned the
spirit. "But, Toppleton," it added, "you have
no notion how terrible it is for a man to see
himself growing old and breaking away from all
the habits and principles of youth, powerless to
interfere. For instance, my body was temperate
when I was in it. I never drank more
than one glass of whiskey in one day. Now it
is brandy and water all day long, and it galls me,
like the merry hereafter, with my temperance
scruples, to see myself given over to intemperate
drams. <i>I</i> never used profane language. Last
Friday I heard my own lips condemn a poor unoffending
fly to everlasting punishment. But I
want to tell you how this outrageous thing came
to pass. I want to tell you how it was that in the
very bud of my existence I was robbed of a suitable
case in which to go through life, and I want
you, with your extraordinary knowledge of the
law, as I understand it to be, to devise some
scheme for my relief. If you don't, nobody will,
and before many years it will be too late. The
body is growing weaker every day. I can see
that, and I want to get it back again before it<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_47" id="Page_47"></SPAN></span>
becomes absolutely valueless. I believe that
under my care, restored to its original owner, it
can be fixed up and made quite respectable for
its declining years. Of course the teeth and the
hair are gone for ever, but I think I can furbish
up the smile, the eye and the hands. I know
that I can restore my former good habits."</p>
<p>"I'm hanged if I see how I can help you,"
rejoined Hopkins. "Do you mean to say that
the present occupant of your personality is the
creature who robbed you of it?"</p>
<p>"Precisely," said the spirit. "He's the
very same person, and, stars above us, how he
has abused the premises! He has made my
name famous—"</p>
<p>"You don't mean to say that he took your
name too?" put in Hopkins incredulously.</p>
<p>"I mean just that," retorted the spirit. "He
stole my name, my body, my prospects, my
clothing—every blessed thing I had except my
consciousness, and he thrust that out into a
cold, unsympathetic world, to float around in
invisible nebulousness for thirty long years.
Oh, it is an awful tale of villainy, Toppleton!
Awful!"</p>
<p>"You say he has made your name famous,"
said Toppleton. "You give him credit for that,
don't you?"</p>
<p>"I would if the very fame accorded my name<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_48" id="Page_48"></SPAN></span>
did not tend to make me infamous in the eyes
of those I hold most dear; and the beastly part
of it is that I can't explain the situation to
them."</p>
<p>"Why not?" asked Hopkins. "If you can
lay all this misery bare to me, why can't you
lay it before those for whose good will and
admiration you are lamenting?"</p>
<p>"Because, Hopkins, they never address me,
and it is my hard fate not to be able to open a
conversation," returned the spirit. "If you will
remember, it was not until you asked me who
the devil I was, or some equally choice question
of like import, that I began to hold converse
with you; you are the only man with whom I
have talked for thirty years, Hopkins, because
you are the only person who has taken the
initiative."</p>
<p>"Well, you goaded me into it," returned
Hopkins. "So I can't see why you can't goad
your friends of longer standing into it."</p>
<p>"The explanation is simple," replied the
spirit. "My friends haven't had the courage
to withstand the terrors of the situation. The
minute I have whistled, sighed or laughed, they
have made a bee line for the door, and raised
such a hullabaloo about the 'supernatural visitation,'
as they termed my efforts, that I
couldn't do a thing with them. They've everyone<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_49" id="Page_49"></SPAN></span>
of them, from my respected mother down,
avoided me, even as that man Stubbs has
avoided me. I believe you too would have fled
if the door hadn't locked automatically, and so
forced you to remain here."</p>
<p>"If I could have avoided this interview I
should most certainly have done so," said
Toppleton, candidly. "You can probably
guess yourself how very unpleasant it is to
be disturbed in your work by a whistle that
emanates from some unseen lips, and to have
your room taken possession of by an invisible
being with a grievance."</p>
<p>"Yes, Hopkins. I've had almost the same
experience myself," replied the spirit; "and to
be as candid with you as you have been with
me, I will say that it was just that experience,
and nothing else, that is responsible for my
present difficulties."</p>
<p>"That's encouraging for me," said Hopkins,
nervously. "But tell me how have you become
infamously famous?"</p>
<p>"The bandit who now occupies my being
has violated every principle of religion and
politics that he found in me when he took possession,"
returned the spirit, leaving the rocking-chair
and settling down on the mantelpiece,
in front of the clock. "Where I was a pronounced
Tory he has made me vote with the<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_50" id="Page_50"></SPAN></span>
Liberals. Notwithstanding the fact that I was
brought up in the Church of England, he joined
first the dissenters and is now a thorough
agnostic, and signs my name to the most
outrageous views on social and moral subjects
you ever heard advanced. My family have cut
loose from me as I am represented by him, and
the dearest friend of my youth never mentions
my name save in terms of severest reprehension.
Would you like that, Hopkins Toppleton?"</p>
<p>"I'd be precious far from liking it," Hopkins
answered. "It seems to me I'd commit suicide
under such circumstances. Have you thought
of that?"</p>
<p>"Often," replied the spirit; "but the question
has always been, how?"</p>
<p>"Take poison! Shoot yourself! Drown
yourself!"</p>
<p>"I can't take poison. That fiend who
robbed me has my stomach, so what could I
put the poison into?" retorted the spirit.
"Shoot myself? How? I haven't a pistol.
If I had a pistol I couldn't fire it, because I've
nothing to pull the trigger with. If I had
something to pull the trigger with, what should
I fire at? I have no brains to blow out, no
heart to shoot at. I'd simply fire into air."</p>
<p>"How about the third method?" queried
Toppleton.<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_51" id="Page_51"></SPAN></span></p>
<p>"Drowning?" asked the unhappy Presence.
"That wouldn't work. I've nothing to drown.
If I could get under water, I'd bubble right up
again, so you see it's useless. Besides, it's only
the body that dies, not the spirit. You see the
shape I'm left in."</p>
<p>"No," returned Hopkins, "I perceive the
lack of shape you are left in, and I must confess
you are in the hardest luck of any person I ever
knew; but really, my dear sir, I don't see how
I can render you any assistance, so we might
as well consider the interview at an end. Now
that I am better acquainted with you I will say,
however, that if it gives you any pleasure to loll
around here or to sleep up there in my cloisonné
jar with the rose leaves, you are welcome to do
so."</p>
<p>"If you would only hear my story, Hopkins,"
said the spirit, beseechingly, "you would be so
wrought up by its horrible details that you
would devise some plan for my relief. You
would be less than a man if you did not, and I
am told that you Americans are great fighters.
Take this case for me, won't you?"</p>
<p>Hopkins hesitated. He was strongly inclined
to yield, the cause was so extraordinary, and
yet he could not in a moment overcome his
strongly-cultivated repugnance to burdening
himself with a client. Then he was conscientious,<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_52" id="Page_52"></SPAN></span>
too. He did not wish to identify the
famous house of Toppleton, Morley, Harkins,
Perkins, Mawson, Bronson, Smithers and
Hicks with a case in which the possibilities of
success seemed so remote. On the other hand
he could not but reflect that, aside from the
purely humane aspect of the matter, a successful
issue would redound to the everlasting
glory of himself and his partners over the sea—that
is, it would if anybody could be made to
believe in the existence of such a case. He
realized that the emergency was one which
must be met by himself alone, because he was
thoroughly convinced that the hard-headed
practical men of affairs whom he represented
would scarcely credit his account of the occurrences
of the last hour, and would set him down
either as having been under the influence of
drink or as having lost his senses. He would
not have believed the story himself if some one
else had told it to him, and he could not expect
his partners in New York to be any more
credulous than he would have been.</p>
<p>His hesitation was short-lived, however, for
in a moment it was dispelled by a sigh from his
unseen guest. It was the most heartrending
sigh he had ever heard, and it overcame his
scruples.</p>
<p>"By George!" he said, "I will listen to your<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_53" id="Page_53"></SPAN></span>
story, and I'll help you if I can, only you will
unstring my nerves unless you get yourself a
shape of some kind or other. It makes my
blood run cold to sit here and bandy words
with an absolute nonentity."</p>
<p>"I don't know where I can get a shape," returned
the spirit.</p>
<p>"What did the thief who took your shape do
with his old one?" asked Hopkins.</p>
<p>"He'd buried it before I met him," returned
the spirit.</p>
<p>"Buried it? Oh, Heavens!" cried Hopkins,
seizing his hat. "Let's get out of this and
take a little fresh air; if we don't, I'll go mad.
Come," he added, addressing the spirit, "we'll
run over to the Lowther Arcade and buy a form.
If we can't find anything better we'll get a
wooden Indian or a French doll, or anything
having human semblance so that you can climb
into it and lessen the infernal uncanniness of
your disembodiment."</p>
<p>Hopkins rang the janitor's bell again, and
when that worthy appeared he had him unfasten
the door from the outside; then he and the
spirit started out in search of an embodiment
for the exiled soul.</p>
<p>"Hi thinks as 'ow 'e must be craizy," said
the janitor, as Toppleton disappeared around
the corner in animated conversation with his<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_54" id="Page_54"></SPAN></span>
invisible client. "E's' talkin' away like hall
possessed, hand nobody as hi can see within
hearshot. These Hamericans is nothink much
has far as 'ead goes."</p>
<p>As for Toppleton and the Presence, they
found in the Lowther Arcade just what they
wanted—an Aunt Sallie with a hollow head,
into which the spirit was able to enter, and
from which it told its tale of woe, sitting,
bodily and visibly, in the rocking-chair, before
the eyes of Hopkins Toppleton, the words
falling fluently from the open lips of the dusky
incubus the spirit had put on.</p>
<p>"It was odd, but not too infernally weird,"
said Hopkins afterwards, "and I was able to
listen without losing my equanimity, to one of
the meanest tales of robbery I ever heard."</p>
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