<hr style="width: 65%;" /><p><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_90" id="Page_90"></SPAN></span></p>
<h2>CHAPTER VII.</h2>
<div class='chaptertitle'>A CHAPTER OF PROFIT AND LOSS.</div>
<div class='unindent'><span class="smcap">So</span> overcome was the occupant of the Aunt
Sallie at this point of his story, that he requested
Hopkins' permission to leave his quarters that
he might sit on the floor near the slivers of the
shattered whiskey bottle. He needed stimulant.
Hopkins readily granted the request, for he felt
as if he would not mind having a little stimulant
for himself, but as the last drop available for
his purposes had been put to the use for which
it was intended, he had to deny himself the
comfort he would have derived from it. The
fact that this horrid event, the harrowing details
of which he had just listened to, had occurred
right there in his own apartments served to
make him doubly depressed, for it certainly
indicated that the room, despite its cheerful
situation, had been the dwelling-place of a
supernatural being, and the present lessee was
fearful lest that being should appear on the<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_91" id="Page_91"></SPAN></span>
scene once more to practise some of his infernal
tricks upon him.</div>
<p>"You mean to say that when you recovered
your senses, you had been deprived of your
body?" said Hopkins at last, breaking the
silence more for the sake of calming his
agitated mind than because he had anything
to say.</p>
<p>"Yes," replied the spirit. "I lay there on
the sofa an intellectual abstract whose concrete
had been amputated and invested by a being
who had already lived four-score of years in
one body, and who, having worn that out, was
now on the look-out for a second. The sensation
was dreadful, and when I attempted to do
what theretofore I had always done in moments
of extreme agitation—to pull fiercely at my
moustache—I was simply appalled to realize
that the power to raise my hand to do this had
passed, along with the moustache itself, into
the control of that other being. Then an
access of rage surged over me, and I attempted
to stamp my foot and shriek. The shriek was
a success, but my foot like my arm was beyond
my control.</p>
<p>"As the shriek died away I observed my
head slowly turning from the paper before it
on the table, my right hand relaxed its grasp on
the pen, and my own eyes were turned upon<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_92" id="Page_92"></SPAN></span>
me, and I was simply maddened to see the left
eye wink mischievously at me, while my mouth
broadened into a smile at my own misfortunes.</p>
<p>"'Hello,' I said to myself—that is you know
the other being in myself said this to me outside
of myself. 'You've come to, at last, eh? I
thought you were going to remain in a comatose
state for ever.'</p>
<p>"'See here, my friend,' I said, trying to be
calm. 'This is a very clever trick you've put
upon me, but from my point of view it is most
uncomfortable, and I'd just as lief have you
evacuate the premises, and permit me once more
to assume my normal condition.'</p>
<p>"'Not until I have accomplished what I set
out to accomplish,' was the answer that fell from
my own lips, which again indulged in an impertinent
smile at my expense. 'You don't suppose
that I have put in three weeks of time and
energy to make you famous with the intention
of withdrawing on the eve of success, do you?'</p>
<p>"'I don't know what you mean,' I replied,
'I don't understand the allusion, nor can I see
why you permit me to be insulted by my own
lips.'</p>
<p>"Here," said the spirit, "my face became
clouded and my smile vanished.</p>
<p>"'Ungrateful wretch that you are!' said he
who had rifled me of myself. 'Are you not<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_93" id="Page_93"></SPAN></span>
aware that three weeks have elapsed since you
and your body parted company? Are you not
aware that in that time I have forced the fight
between the brothers Baskins to a point that
has made that case the talk of London, and
you, the hero of the hour in legal circles? Do
you not understand that to-morrow you are to
appear in court to sum up for your side, and
that the London <i>Times</i> itself is to have five
stenographers in court to take down every
word that is uttered by him they call a second
Burke, because of his eloquence, by him they call
a second Sheridan, because of his wit, by him
they call the newly discovered leader of the
English bar, because of the aggressive and
powerful manner in which this now celebrated
will case has been conducted? And finally, are
you not aware that it is you who gain the
credit due to me, since it is I who have merged
my personality into yours, while you have only
to remain quiescent and accord to me the undisturbed
occupation of your physical self for a
few days more?'</p>
<p>"'I know none of these things,' I answered.
'I know that possibly an hour ago you robbed
me of my senses by your infernal machinations,
and that when they are restored to
me I find myself disembodied, nameless,
invisible.<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_94" id="Page_94"></SPAN></span>'</p>
<p>"'Do you know the date upon which I visited
you first?' asked my tormentor.</p>
<p>"'Yes, it was November eighth. You
returned on the night of November ninth—that
is you returned early this evening.'</p>
<p>"'Perhaps this will convince you of the lapse
of time, then,' retorted the occupant of my chair,
tossing me a copy of the <i>Times</i>, 'and these will
prove the rest,' he added, throwing several
other newspapers at the place where my feet
would have been had he not deprived me of
them.</p>
<p>"I looked the papers over. The <i>Times</i> was
dated November twenty-ninth and contained,
as did also the others, a long account of the
trial of the case of Baskins <i>v.</i> Baskins, in
which I seemed to have figured prominently,
concluding with a biographical sketch of myself
coupled with the announcement that my former
neighbours at Buxton were thinking of calling
upon me to stand for Parliament. The tenour
of everything in the papers was complimentary
in the highest degree. It seemed that I had
fairly routed my client's adversaries by nothing
else than the aggressive manner of my fighting;
that the case was practically won, though it
still remained for me to sum up on the morrow,
and that all London was expected to swarm
into the court room to listen to my marvellous<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_95" id="Page_95"></SPAN></span>
eloquence. I read and was stunned. My
position was more unhappy than ever, for here
was a greatness builded up for me, that was
utterly beyond my ability once returned to my
corse of clay to sustain, and before me was
placed the horrible alternative of perpetual
exile or stultification."</p>
<p>"Lovely prospect," murmured Hopkins.</p>
<p>"As I read on," continued the spirit, "I
felt the burning gaze of my visitor upon me,
though he could not see me. In my body or
out of it, he still possessed that fearful power
of mental concentration which when exerted
upon another through the medium of the eye
was withering to the soul. So nervous did I
become, that noiseless as a sun-mote I moved
across to the other side of the room, and yet
his gaze followed me as if instinctively aware
of my slightest move. For a time not a word
was spoken by either of us. I was so overcome
at the sudden revelation of my fame, that I
knew not what to say. The words of blame
that entered into my consciousness—for that
was all that was left of me—to say, I could not
utter, because however badly I had been treated
by this fearful creature in the beginning, it
could not be denied that he had exerted his
powers entirely for my benefit. On the other
hand, I found it impossible to thank him for<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_96" id="Page_96"></SPAN></span>
what he had done, since I was unable to dismiss
the sense of indignation I felt at the summary
and tricky manner in which he had robbed me
of my individuality. As for the other, he
seemed to be thinking deeply, which contributed
to my alarm, for I knew not what it was he
was revolving in his mind, and I feared some
additional exercise of his supernatural power
to my further discomfiture. Finally he spoke.</p>
<p>"'I am very deeply disappointed in you,' he
said. 'I at least supposed you to be a person
of gratitude. I deemed your nature to be
sufficiently refined and sensible to favours to
evince some little appreciation of what has been
done for you, but I must say that the veriest
clod of a peasant would be hardly less stolid
<ins title="Transcriber's Note: original reads 'n'">in</ins> the face of generous effort in his behalf
than you have been toward me. A more
unresponsive soul than yours can hardly have
lived.'</p>
<p>"'Can you blame me for not being effusively
grateful to you for having cut me out of three
weeks of existence?' I asked.</p>
<p>"'I can and I do,' he replied. 'You have
not been incommoded. Upon your own confession
you have not even been conscious
during the period that you lacked anatomy.
On the other hand, consider what I have gone
through! I have suffered more in the past<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_97" id="Page_97"></SPAN></span>
fortnight than I did in my whole previous life.
In making the substitution of my inner self for
yours in your body, I failed to remember how
much greater than the mortal mind is the
mind which has put on omniscience, and I
have found the head in which your intellect
lived at ease, so contracted, so narrow for the
accommodation of mine, that the work I have
undertaken in your interest has been one prolonged
bit of unremitting agony. If you have
ever tried to wear a shoe fifteen sizes too small
for you, you will have a faint glimmering of the
pain I have suffered in trying to encase a
number thirty mind in a seven and a quarter
head. It has been almost impossible for me
to get some of my great thoughts into this
thick cranium of yours in their entirety,—indeed
if thoughts were visible, your client
might have seen them sticking out of these
ears, or hovering above this lovely halo of
auburn hair you wear, waiting for admission to
an already overcrowded skull.'</p>
<p>"As he spoke these words," said the spirit,
with a chuckle, "I would have given ten
pounds to have had something to smile with.
I never thought one could miss his lips so
much as when I tried to grin and found I had
not the wherewithal. Despite the insulting
comment of my visitor upon the quality of my<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_98" id="Page_98"></SPAN></span>
own mind, it really filled what there was left
of me with pleasure to hear that, even though I
had departed from it, my body through its
limitations had been able to resent the intrusion
of this alien spirit so effectually.</p>
<p>"'In addition to the bad fit mentally,' continued
the usurper of my anatomy, 'I have had
to cope with your dyspepsia, which I did not
know you had, and various other physical
troubles such as rheumatism and toothache.
It appears to me that even if I had not made
you famous, the mere fact that I have relieved
you of your toothache and rheumatism for
three weeks should entitle me to your gratitude.
However, I am willing to withdraw in
your favour immediately if you insist. Of
course you will have to sum up that case to-morrow,
and I sincerely hope that you will do it
in a manner creditable to your new self, that is
to yourself as I have made you.'</p>
<p>"Of course you see, Hopkins," said the spirit,
pausing in his story for a moment, "what a
dreadful position that left me in. I was
absolutely in the dark as to what had been
done in the case. I did not know what line of
argument had been pursued—I was even unacquainted
with the name of the presiding
justice at the trial, and as for the testimony
elicited during the three weeks of my own<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_99" id="Page_99"></SPAN></span>
personal desuetude, I had not read one word of
it. To attempt to sum up the case under the
circumstances meant ruin—it meant the final
sacrifice of all my hopes; disgrace was
imminent.</p>
<p>"'I cannot sum up the case,' I answered in
a moment. 'I have not mastered the details,
nor is there time for me to do so before the
court opens.'</p>
<p>"'I am aware of that fact,' retorted the
other. 'But that is nothing to me. I am not
at all interested in upholding the undeserved
fame of an ingrate. It's nothing to me if
disgrace stares you in the face. My name is
safe; graven upon a white marble stone in a
country cemetery, it is beyond the reach of
dishonour, and is endorsed in deep-cut letters
with an epitaph extolling the virtues of him
who bore it. This is your affair entirely; I
wash my hands of it. Come, prepare for your
return.'</p>
<p>"Now I submit to you, Hopkins, that, considering
the situation, I was justified in
changing my tone toward him. Put yourself
in my place for a moment," said the spirit.</p>
<p>"I'd rather not," returned Hopkins with a
shudder.</p>
<p>"Oh, I don't mean for you to exchange
places with me. I just want you to try to<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_100" id="Page_100"></SPAN></span>
imagine what you would have done under the
circumstances. You would have besought
him even as I did to crown his work with final
success, and not leave matters in so unsatisfactory
a condition; to spare you the dishonour
of a public failure, wouldn't you?"</p>
<p>"Yes, either that or suicide would have been
my course," returned Hopkins. "I think I'd
have fled to some apothecary's and concealed
myself in a chloroform bottle until my consciousness
evaporated if I'd been you. You
must have known that this thing could not
keep up for ever, unless you would consent to
remain disembodied all your days."</p>
<p>"That was just the most horrible thing about
it," said the spirit. "When I realized what it
all meant, I was nearly distracted; but believing
suicide to be a crime, and knowing, as I have
already told you, that the mind is indestructible,
I could not do as you suggested. I might have
lulled myself into a state of perpetual unconsciousness,
but I did not care to do that, for the
reason that, despite the harrowing features of
my situation, I was morbidly interested to see
how it would all come out. At any rate, I
succumbed to my fears, and begged him not to
think of departing from my mortal habitation
and leaving me in the lurch.</p>
<p>"'Now,' he replied, his face, or rather my<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_101" id="Page_101"></SPAN></span>
face, wreathing with smiles, 'now you are talking
sense. I thought you would come to it.
It would be the height of folly for you to ruin
yourself simply to gratify your love of retaining
your form. I promise you that to-morrow
night, after the great speech has been made in
court—a speech which will ring out through
the whole country, that will echo from the hills
of Scotland across the Atlantic Ocean to the
Rocky Mountains, to re-echo thence to the
Himalayas, and so on until your fame has encircled
the earth—I promise you that then I
will depart hence and trouble you no more,
except it be your desire that I return.'"</p>
<p>"That was a fair proposition—he wasn't such
a mean fiend after all," said Hopkins.</p>
<p>"At that moment I thought he was rather a
square fiend," returned the spirit sadly; "but
he developed as time went on."</p>
<p>"And the speech next day? How was that?
Did he keep his word?" Hopkins asked.</p>
<p>"Indeed he did," said the spirit with enthusiasm,
"and it was simply marvellous. That
night, after we had had the conversation I have
just told you of, that fellow worked like a slave
getting up his points, consulting the records,
classifying the testimony and making notes for
his great oratorical effort. Hardly a poet in
the history of literature was there who did not<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_102" id="Page_102"></SPAN></span>
contribute some little line or two to make the
speech more interesting, or to emphasize some
point in a manner certain to appeal to a polished
mind or overawe an uncultivated one. Greek
and Latin authors were levied upon for tribute.
Parallels in ancient and modern history utterly
unknown to me were instituted for the elucidation
of the arguments advanced—in short, a
more polished bit of oratory than that prepared
for my tongue to utter never fell from mortal
lips before, and as for the peroration—well, it
would require the consummate art of the fiend
himself adequately to describe it. It was
simply dazzling.</p>
<p>"'There is only one drawback, one thing I
fear for to-morrow,' said the fiend, as he
finished his preparations, 'and that is that
these miserable mortal lungs of yours will not
be able to do justice to that speech, and some
of these quotations rasp on your unpractised
tongue, so that I fear their effect may be
weakened. However, I'll do the best I can
with poor tools; but one thing is certain, you
must make a sacrifice to me who have sacrificed
time and comfort to you.'</p>
<p>"'What is that?' I asked.</p>
<p>"'I cannot properly accent my words with
your teeth in their present condition. For instance
these words here: <i>And, gentlemen of the<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_103" id="Page_103"></SPAN></span>
jury, what have we to say of the plaintiff in this
action, the brother of the defendant and the firstborn
son of the decedent whose desires he now
seeks to have over-ridden by the laws of this land,
what have we to say of him? What palliation
can he offer for his unfraternal conduct in thus
dragging his own brother into the courts of this
land in a mad effort to recover the paltry sum
of thirty thousand pounds? History affords no
parallel, gentlemen of the jury, to this cause of son
living arrayed against his parent gone before, of
brother fighting brother for a miserable pittance</i>,
and so on. Don't you see that to be spoken
impressively these words demand a certain
venomous hiss? I want to electrify the jury
by that hiss, but I can't do it unless I have out
two of your back teeth and this front one.'</p>
<p>"Here he tapped the left of my two front
teeth—pearls they were, Hopkins, pearls beyond
price. Of course I objected.</p>
<p>"'I can't let you do that,' I said, 'it'll ruin
my personal appearance.'</p>
<p>"'Bah, man!' he said. 'What is personal
appearance to pre-eminent success? What are
looks compared to immortality? I must again
take advantage of your helplessness and rescue
you from the effects of your own indecision. I
have arranged to have a dentist here to-morrow
morning at eight. In five minutes he will have<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_104" id="Page_104"></SPAN></span>
the teeth out, and by noon your seething voice
will have turned twelve good men and true
into a mass of goose flesh that will be utterly
unable to resist you.'"</p>
<p>Hopkins was heartless enough to laugh at
this unexpected development.</p>
<p>"I wish I could appreciate the joke, Hopkins,"
said the spirit indignantly. "What is
fun for you was tragedy for me. I had always
prided myself on the vigour of my voice. There
was nothing weak or affected about it, nor
would I, had I been in control of my being,
have permitted such vandalism as was perpetrated
by that dentist the next morning, just
for the sake of making a <i>coup</i> with the jury. I
can't deny, however, that when the speech was
delivered the general effect was heightened by
the sibilant tone in which the words were
spoken. To me the dreadful spirit within my
body was apparent from introduction to peroration.
The deadly greenness of the fiend
shone out through every vein in my body. My
eyes, once a beautiful blue, became like the
eyes of an adder, and my cheeks took on a
pallor that was horrible to look upon, and yet
which so fascinated all beholders that they
could not take their eyes away from it. The
jurors sat petrified, terror depicted on every
line of their faces; the judge himself, a florid,<span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_105" id="Page_105"></SPAN></span>
phlegmatic person ordinarily, was pale as a
sheet and uneasy as an exposed nerve, and when
my poor innocent finger, once so prettily pink
of hue, was pointed, absolutely livid with the
scorn that that creature alone could throw into
it, at the terror-stricken plaintiff, he actually
fell backward into convulsions, and was carried
shrieking profanely from the court-room.</p>
<p>"As for me, I sat cowering directly behind
the jury-box fearful for the future, fearful for
the effect upon my poor body of the terrible
strain that was put upon it, and wondering what
I could possibly do upon resuming my normal
condition to maintain the reputation which
that morning's achievement had brought to
me. So absorbed was I in these reflections
that the judge's faltering charge at the conclusion
of the proceedings fell upon my consciousness
unheard, save as the monotonous
roar of the vehicles in the street outside was
heard; but the verdict of the jury, rendered
without leaving the box, in favour of my client
did reach my ears, and almost simultaneously
came the announcement that there would be no
appeal, since the plaintiff in the cause had been
frightened into imbecility by the fearful indictment
of his character in the summing-up of the
counsel for the defendant."</p>
<hr style="width: 65%;" /><p><span class="pagenum"><SPAN name="Page_106" id="Page_106"></SPAN></span></p>
<h2>CHAPTER VIII.</h2>
<div class='chaptertitle'>FURTHER DEVELOPMENTS IN THE MAKING OF A NAME.</div>
<div class='unindent'>"<span class="smcap">You</span> must have felt like a vest-pocket Byron,
to wake up and find yourself famous that way,"
said Toppleton; "or, perhaps you found yourself
<i>in</i>famous, eh? I don't know how it is here
in England, but in America a lawyer who'd
browbeat a poor innocent litigant into a state
bordering upon lunacy, would be requested to
move out of town."</div>
<p>"It all depends," returned the spirit. "If
my substituted self had limited his brow-beating
to the plaintiff, it might have made the reputation
which I found awaiting me upon my return
to my remains, one of infamy, but that was by
no means the case. The judge himself succumbed
to nervous prostration a week later,
the jurors vanished like a pack of frightened
hares immediately they were discharged, and
even my client shook like a leaf when he felt my
<div style="break-after:column;"></div><br />