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<h2> MORELLA </h2>
<p>Itself, by itself, solely, one everlasting, and single.<br/>
<br/>
PLATO: SYMPOS.<br/></p>
<p>WITH a feeling of deep yet most singular affection I regarded my friend
Morella. Thrown by accident into her society many years ago, my soul from
our first meeting, burned with fires it had never before known; but the
fires were not of Eros, and bitter and tormenting to my spirit was the
gradual conviction that I could in no manner define their unusual meaning
or regulate their vague intensity. Yet we met; and fate bound us together
at the altar, and I never spoke of passion nor thought of love. She,
however, shunned society, and, attaching herself to me alone rendered me
happy. It is a happiness to wonder; it is a happiness to dream.</p>
<p>Morella's erudition was profound. As I hope to live, her talents were of
no common order—her powers of mind were gigantic. I felt this, and,
in many matters, became her pupil. I soon, however, found that, perhaps on
account of her Presburg education, she placed before me a number of those
mystical writings which are usually considered the mere dross of the early
German literature. These, for what reason I could not imagine, were her
favourite and constant study—and that in process of time they became
my own, should be attributed to the simple but effectual influence of
habit and example.</p>
<p>In all this, if I err not, my reason had little to do. My convictions, or
I forget myself, were in no manner acted upon by the ideal, nor was any
tincture of the mysticism which I read to be discovered, unless I am
greatly mistaken, either in my deeds or in my thoughts. Persuaded of this,
I abandoned myself implicitly to the guidance of my wife, and entered with
an unflinching heart into the intricacies of her studies. And then—then,
when poring over forbidden pages, I felt a forbidden spirit enkindling
within me—would Morella place her cold hand upon my own, and rake up
from the ashes of a dead philosophy some low, singular words, whose
strange meaning burned themselves in upon my memory. And then, hour after
hour, would I linger by her side, and dwell upon the music of her voice,
until at length its melody was tainted with terror, and there fell a
shadow upon my soul, and I grew pale, and shuddered inwardly at those too
unearthly tones. And thus, joy suddenly faded into horror, and the most
beautiful became the most hideous, as Hinnon became Ge-Henna.</p>
<p>It is unnecessary to state the exact character of those disquisitions
which, growing out of the volumes I have mentioned, formed, for so long a
time, almost the sole conversation of Morella and myself. By the learned
in what might be termed theological morality they will be readily
conceived, and by the unlearned they would, at all events, be little
understood. The wild Pantheism of Fichte; the modified Paliggenedia of the
Pythagoreans; and, above all, the doctrines of Identity as urged by
Schelling, were generally the points of discussion presenting the most of
beauty to the imaginative Morella. That identity which is termed personal,
Mr. Locke, I think, truly defines to consist in the saneness of rational
being. And since by person we understand an intelligent essence having
reason, and since there is a consciousness which always accompanies
thinking, it is this which makes us all to be that which we call
ourselves, thereby distinguishing us from other beings that think, and
giving us our personal identity. But the principium indivduationis, the
notion of that identity which at death is or is not lost for ever, was to
me, at all times, a consideration of intense interest; not more from the
perplexing and exciting nature of its consequences, than from the marked
and agitated manner in which Morella mentioned them.</p>
<p>But, indeed, the time had now arrived when the mystery of my wife's manner
oppressed me as a spell. I could no longer bear the touch of her wan
fingers, nor the low tone of her musical language, nor the lustre of her
melancholy eyes. And she knew all this, but did not upbraid; she seemed
conscious of my weakness or my folly, and, smiling, called it fate. She
seemed also conscious of a cause, to me unknown, for the gradual
alienation of my regard; but she gave me no hint or token of its nature.
Yet was she woman, and pined away daily. In time the crimson spot settled
steadily upon the cheek, and the blue veins upon the pale forehead became
prominent; and one instant my nature melted into pity, but in, next I met
the glance of her meaning eyes, and then my soul sickened and became giddy
with the giddiness of one who gazes downward into some dreary and
unfathomable abyss.</p>
<p>Shall I then say that I longed with an earnest and consuming desire for
the moment of Morella's decease? I did; but the fragile spirit clung to
its tenement of clay for many days, for many weeks and irksome months,
until my tortured nerves obtained the mastery over my mind, and I grew
furious through delay, and, with the heart of a fiend, cursed the days and
the hours and the bitter moments, which seemed to lengthen and lengthen as
her gentle life declined, like shadows in the dying of the day.</p>
<p>But one autumnal evening, when the winds lay still in heaven, Morella
called me to her bedside. There was a dim mist over all the earth, and a
warm glow upon the waters, and amid the rich October leaves of the forest,
a rainbow from the firmament had surely fallen.</p>
<p>"It is a day of days," she said, as I approached; "a day of all days
either to live or die. It is a fair day for the sons of earth and life—ah,
more fair for the daughters of heaven and death!"</p>
<p>I kissed her forehead, and she continued:</p>
<p>"I am dying, yet shall I live."</p>
<p>"Morella!"</p>
<p>"The days have never been when thou couldst love me—but her whom in
life thou didst abhor, in death thou shalt adore."</p>
<p>"Morella!"</p>
<p>"I repeat I am dying. But within me is a pledge of that affection—ah,
how little!—which thou didst feel for me, Morella. And when my
spirit departs shall the child live—thy child and mine, Morella's.
But thy days shall be days of sorrow—that sorrow which is the most
lasting of impressions, as the cypress is the most enduring of trees. For
the hours of thy happiness are over and joy is not gathered twice in a
life, as the roses of Paestum twice in a year. Thou shalt no longer, then,
play the Teian with time, but, being ignorant of the myrtle and the vine,
thou shalt bear about with thee thy shroud on the earth, as do the
Moslemin at Mecca."</p>
<p>"Morella!" I cried, "Morella! how knowest thou this?" but she turned away
her face upon the pillow and a slight tremor coming over her limbs, she
thus died, and I heard her voice no more.</p>
<p>Yet, as she had foretold, her child, to which in dying she had given
birth, which breathed not until the mother breathed no more, her child, a
daughter, lived. And she grew strangely in stature and intellect, and was
the perfect resemblance of her who had departed, and I loved her with a
love more fervent than I had believed it possible to feel for any denizen
of earth.</p>
<p>But, ere long the heaven of this pure affection became darkened, and
gloom, and horror, and grief swept over it in clouds. I said the child
grew strangely in stature and intelligence. Strange, indeed, was her rapid
increase in bodily size, but terrible, oh! terrible were the tumultuous
thoughts which crowded upon me while watching the development of her
mental being. Could it be otherwise, when I daily discovered in the
conceptions of the child the adult powers and faculties of the woman? when
the lessons of experience fell from the lips of infancy? and when the
wisdom or the passions of maturity I found hourly gleaming from its full
and speculative eye? When, I say, all this became evident to my appalled
senses, when I could no longer hide it from my soul, nor throw it off from
those perceptions which trembled to receive it, is it to be wondered at
that suspicions, of a nature fearful and exciting, crept in upon my
spirit, or that my thoughts fell back aghast upon the wild tales and
thrilling theories of the entombed Morella? I snatched from the scrutiny
of the world a being whom destiny compelled me to adore, and in the
rigorous seclusion of my home, watched with an agonizing anxiety over all
which concerned the beloved.</p>
<p>And as years rolled away, and I gazed day after day upon her holy, and
mild, and eloquent face, and poured over her maturing form, day after day
did I discover new points of resemblance in the child to her mother, the
melancholy and the dead. And hourly grew darker these shadows of
similitude, and more full, and more definite, and more perplexing, and
more hideously terrible in their aspect. For that her smile was like her
mother's I could bear; but then I shuddered at its too perfect identity,
that her eyes were like Morella's I could endure; but then they, too,
often looked down into the depths of my soul with Morella's own intense
and bewildering meaning. And in the contour of the high forehead, and in
the ringlets of the silken hair, and in the wan fingers which buried
themselves therein, and in the sad musical tones of her speech, and above
all—oh, above all, in the phrases and expressions of the dead on the
lips of the loved and the living, I found food for consuming thought and
horror, for a worm that would not die.</p>
<p>Thus passed away two lustra of her life, and as yet my daughter remained
nameless upon the earth. "My child," and "my love," were the designations
usually prompted by a father's affection, and the rigid seclusion of her
days precluded all other intercourse. Morella's name died with her at her
death. Of the mother I had never spoken to the daughter, it was impossible
to speak. Indeed, during the brief period of her existence, the latter had
received no impressions from the outward world, save such as might have
been afforded by the narrow limits of her privacy. But at length the
ceremony of baptism presented to my mind, in its unnerved and agitated
condition, a present deliverance from the terrors of my destiny. And at
the baptismal font I hesitated for a name. And many titles of the wise and
beautiful, of old and modern times, of my own and foreign lands, came
thronging to my lips, with many, many fair titles of the gentle, and the
happy, and the good. What prompted me then to disturb the memory of the
buried dead? What demon urged me to breathe that sound, which in its very
recollection was wont to make ebb the purple blood in torrents from the
temples to the heart? What fiend spoke from the recesses of my soul, when
amid those dim aisles, and in the silence of the night, I whispered within
the ears of the holy man the syllables—Morella? What more than fiend
convulsed the features of my child, and overspread them with hues of
death, as starting at that scarcely audible sound, she turned her glassy
eyes from the earth to heaven, and falling prostrate on the black slabs of
our ancestral vault, responded—"I am here!"</p>
<p>Distinct, coldly, calmly distinct, fell those few simple sounds within my
ear, and thence like molten lead rolled hissingly into my brain. Years—years
may pass away, but the memory of that epoch never. Nor was I indeed
ignorant of the flowers and the vine—but the hemlock and the cypress
overshadowed me night and day. And I kept no reckoning of time or place,
and the stars of my fate faded from heaven, and therefore the earth grew
dark, and its figures passed by me like flitting shadows, and among them
all I beheld only—Morella. The winds of the firmament breathed but
one sound within my ears, and the ripples upon the sea murmured evermore—Morella.
But she died; and with my own hands I bore her to the tomb; and I laughed
with a long and bitter laugh as I found no traces of the first in the
channel where I laid the second.—Morella.</p>
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