<SPAN name="startofbook"></SPAN>
<h1>Waifs and Strays</h1>
<h2 class="no-break">by O. Henry</h2>
<hr />
<h2>Contents</h2>
<table summary="" >
<tr>
<td> <b>PART I—TWELVE STORIES</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td> <SPAN href="#chap01">The Red Roses of Tonia</SPAN></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td> <SPAN href="#chap02">Round The Circle</SPAN></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td> <SPAN href="#chap03">The Rubber Plant’s Story</SPAN></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td> <SPAN href="#chap04">Out of Nazareth</SPAN></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td> <SPAN href="#chap05">Confessions of a Humorist</SPAN></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td> <SPAN href="#chap06">The Sparrows in Madison Square</SPAN></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td> <SPAN href="#chap07">Hearts and Hands</SPAN></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td> <SPAN href="#chap08">The Cactus</SPAN></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td> <SPAN href="#chap09">The Detective Detector</SPAN></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td> <SPAN href="#chap10">The Dog and the Playlet</SPAN></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td> <SPAN href="#chap11">A Little Talk About Mobs</SPAN></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td> <SPAN href="#chap12">The Snow Man</SPAN></td>
</tr>
</table>
<h2><SPAN name="chap01"></SPAN>THE RED ROSES OF TONIA</h2>
<p>A trestle burned down on the International Railroad. The south-bound from San
Antonio was cut off for the next forty-eight hours. On that train was Tonia
Weaver’s Easter hat.</p>
<p>Espirition, the Mexican, who had been sent forty miles in a buckboard from the
Espinosa Ranch to fetch it, returned with a shrugging shoulder and hands empty
except for a cigarette. At the small station, Nopal, he had learned of the
delayed train and, having no commands to wait, turned his ponies toward the
ranch again.</p>
<p>Now, if one supposes that Easter, the Goddess of Spring, cares any more for the
after-church parade on Fifth Avenue than she does for her loyal outfit of
subjects that assemble at the meeting-house at Cactus, Tex., a mistake has been
made. The wives and daughters of the ranchmen of the Frio country put forth
Easter blossoms of new hats and gowns as faithfully as is done anywhere, and
the Southwest is, for one day, a mingling of prickly pear, Paris, and paradise.
And now it was Good Friday, and Tonia Weaver’s Easter hat blushed unseen
in the desert air of an impotent express car, beyond the burned trestle. On
Saturday noon the Rogers girls, from the Shoestring Ranch, and Ella Reeves,
from the Anchor-O, and Mrs. Bennet and Ida, from Green Valley, would convene at
the Espinosa and pick up Tonia. With their Easter hats and frocks carefully
wrapped and bundled against the dust, the fair aggregation would then merrily
jog the ten miles to Cactus, where on the morrow they would array themselves,
subjugate man, do homage to Easter, and cause jealous agitation among the
lilies of the field.</p>
<p>Tonia sat on the steps of the Espinosa ranch house flicking gloomily with a
quirt at a tuft of curly mesquite. She displayed a frown and a contumelious
lip, and endeavored to radiate an aura of disagreeableness and tragedy.</p>
<p>“I hate railroads,” she announced positively. “And men. Men
pretend to run them. Can you give any excuse why a trestle should burn? Ida
Bennet’s hat is to be trimmed with violets. I shall not go one step
toward Cactus without a new hat. If I were a man I would get one.”</p>
<p>Two men listened uneasily to this disparagement of their kind. One was Wells
Pearson, foreman of the Mucho Calor cattle ranch. The other was Thompson
Burrows, the prosperous sheepman from the Quintana Valley. Both thought Tonia
Weaver adorable, especially when she railed at railroads and menaced men.
Either would have given up his epidermis to make for her an Easter hat more
cheerfully than the ostrich gives up his tip or the aigrette lays down its
life. Neither possessed the ingenuity to conceive a means of supplying the sad
deficiency against the coming Sabbath. Pearson’s deep brown face and
sunburned light hair gave him the appearance of a schoolboy seized by one of
youth’s profound and insolvable melancholies. Tonia’s plight
grieved him through and through. Thompson Burrows was the more skilled and
pliable. He hailed from somewhere in the East originally; and he wore neckties
and shoes, and was made dumb by woman’s presence.</p>
<p>“The big water-hole on Sandy Creek,” said Pearson, scarcely hoping
to make a hit, “was filled up by that last rain.”</p>
<p>“Oh! Was it?” said Tonia sharply. “Thank you for the
information. I suppose a new hat is nothing to you, Mr. Pearson. I suppose you
think a woman ought to wear an old Stetson five years without a change, as you
do. If your old water-hole could have put out the fire on that trestle you
might have some reason to talk about it.”</p>
<p>“I am deeply sorry,” said Burrows, warned by Pearson’s fate,
“that you failed to receive your hat, Miss Weaver—deeply sorry,
indeed. If there was anything I could do—”</p>
<p>“Don’t bother,” interrupted Tonia, with sweet sarcasm.
“If there was anything you could do, you’d be doing it, of course.
There isn’t.”</p>
<p>Tonia paused. A sudden sparkle of hope had come into her eye. Her frown
smoothed away. She had an inspiration.</p>
<p>“There’s a store over at Lone Elm Crossing on the Nueces,”
she said, “that keeps hats. Eva Rogers got hers there. She said it was
the latest style. It might have some left. But it’s twenty-eight miles to
Lone Elm.”</p>
<p>The spurs of two men who hastily arose jingled; and Tonia almost smiled. The
Knights, then, were not all turned to dust; nor were their rowels rust.</p>
<p>“Of course,” said Tonia, looking thoughtfully at a white gulf cloud
sailing across the cerulean dome, “nobody could ride to Lone Elm and back
by the time the girls call by for me to-morrow. So, I reckon I’ll have to
stay at home this Easter Sunday.”</p>
<p>And then she smiled.</p>
<p>“Well, Miss Tonia,” said Pearson, reaching for his hat, as guileful
as a sleeping babe. “I reckon I’ll be trotting along back to Mucho
Calor. There’s some cutting out to be done on Dry Branch first thing in
the morning; and me and Road Runner has got to be on hand. It’s too bad
your hat got sidetracked. Maybe they’ll get that trestle mended yet in
time for Easter.”</p>
<p>“I must be riding, too, Miss Tonia,” announced Burrows, looking at
his watch. “I declare, it’s nearly five o’clock! I must be
out at my lambing camp in time to help pen those crazy ewes.”</p>
<p>Tonia’s suitors seemed to have been smitten with a need for haste. They
bade her a ceremonious farewell, and then shook each other’s hands with
the elaborate and solemn courtesy of the Southwesterner.</p>
<p>“Hope I’ll see you again soon, Mr. Pearson,” said Burrows.</p>
<p>“Same here,” said the cowman, with the serious face of one whose
friend goes upon a whaling voyage. “Be gratified to see you ride over to
Mucho Calor any time you strike that section of the range.”</p>
<p>Pearson mounted Road Runner, the soundest cow-pony on the Frio, and let him
pitch for a minute, as he always did on being mounted, even at the end of a
day’s travel.</p>
<p>“What kind of a hat was that, Miss Tonia,” he called, “that
you ordered from San Antone? I can’t help but be sorry about that
hat.”</p>
<p>“A straw,” said Tonia; “the latest shape, of course; trimmed
with red roses. That’s what I like—red roses.”</p>
<p>“There’s no color more becoming to your complexion and hair,”
said Burrows, admiringly.</p>
<p>“It’s what I like,” said Tonia. “And of all the
flowers, give me red roses. Keep all the pinks and blues for yourself. But
what’s the use, when trestles burn and leave you without anything?
It’ll be a dry old Easter for me!”</p>
<p>Pearson took off his hat and drove Road Runner at a gallop into the chaparral
east of the Espinosa ranch house.</p>
<p>As his stirrups rattled against the brush Burrows’s long-legged sorrel
struck out down the narrow stretch of open prairie to the southwest.</p>
<p>Tonia hung up her quirt and went into the sitting-room.</p>
<p>“I’m mighty sorry, daughter, that you didn’t get your
hat,” said her mother.</p>
<p>“Oh, don’t worry, mother,” said Tonia, coolly.
“I’ll have a new hat, all right, in time to-morrow.”</p>
<p class="p2">
When Burrows reached the end of the strip of prairie he pulled his sorrel to
the right and let him pick his way daintily across a sacuista flat through
which ran the ragged, dry bed of an arroyo. Then up a gravelly hill, matted
with bush, the horse scrambled, and at length emerged, with a snort of
satisfaction into a stretch of high, level prairie, grassy and dotted with the
lighter green of mesquites in their fresh spring foliage. Always to the right
Burrows bore, until in a little while he struck the old Indian trail that
followed the Nueces southward, and that passed, twenty-eight miles to the
southeast, through Lone Elm.</p>
<p>Here Burrows urged the sorrel into a steady lope. As he settled himself in the
saddle for a long ride he heard the drumming of hoofs, the hollow
“thwack” of chaparral against wooden stirrups, the whoop of a
Comanche; and Wells Pearson burst out of the brush at the right of the trail
like a precocious yellow chick from a dark green Easter egg.</p>
<p>Except in the presence of awing femininity melancholy found no place in
Pearson’s bosom. In Tonia’s presence his voice was as soft as a
summer bullfrog’s in his reedy nest. Now, at his gleesome yawp, rabbits,
a mile away, ducked their ears, and sensitive plants closed their fearful
fronds.</p>
<p>“Moved your lambing camp pretty far from the ranch, haven’t you,
neighbor?” asked Pearson, as Road Runner fell in at the sorrel’s
side.</p>
<p>“Twenty-eight miles,” said Burrows, looking a little grim.
Pearson’s laugh woke an owl one hour too early in his water-elm on the
river bank, half a mile away.</p>
<p>“All right for you, sheepman. I like an open game, myself. We’re
two locoed he-milliners hat-hunting in the wilderness. I notify you. Burr, to
mind your corrals. We’ve got an even start, and the one that gets the
headgear will stand some higher at the Espinosa.”</p>
<p>“You’ve got a good pony,” said Burrows, eyeing Road
Runner’s barrel-like body and tapering legs that moved as regularly as
the pistonrod of an engine. “It’s a race, of course; but
you’re too much of a horseman to whoop it up this soon. Say we travel
together till we get to the home stretch.”</p>
<p>“I’m your company,” agreed Pearson, “and I admire your
sense. If there’s hats at Lone Elm, one of ’em shall set on Miss
Tonia’s brow to-morrow, and you won’t be at the crowning. I
ain’t bragging, Burr, but that sorrel of yours is weak in the
fore-legs.”</p>
<p>“My horse against yours,” offered Burrows, “that Miss Tonia
wears the hat I take her to Cactus to-morrow.”</p>
<p>“I’ll take you up,” shouted Pearson. “But oh,
it’s just like horse-stealing for me! I can use that sorrel for a
lady’s animal when—when somebody comes over to Mucho Calor,
and—”</p>
<p>Burrows’ dark face glowered so suddenly that the cowman broke off his
sentence. But Pearson could never feel any pressure for long.</p>
<p>“What’s all this Easter business about, Burr?” he asked,
cheerfully. “Why do the women folks have to have new hats by the almanac
or bust all cinches trying to get ’em?”</p>
<p>“It’s a seasonable statute out of the testaments,” explained
Burrows. “It’s ordered by the Pope or somebody. And it has
something to do with the Zodiac I don’t know exactly, but I think it was
invented by the Egyptians.”</p>
<p>“It’s an all-right jubilee if the heathens did put their brand on
it,” said Pearson; “or else Tonia wouldn’t have anything to
do with it. And they pull it off at church, too. Suppose there ain’t but
one hat in the Lone Elm store, Burr!”</p>
<p>“Then,” said Burrows, darkly, “the best man of us’ll
take it back to the Espinosa.”</p>
<p>“Oh, man!” cried Pearson, throwing his hat high and catching it
again, “there’s nothing like you come off the sheep ranges before.
You talk good and collateral to the occasion. And if there’s more than
one?”</p>
<p>“Then,” said Burrows, “we’ll pick our choice and one of
us’ll get back first with his and the other won’t.”</p>
<p>“There never was two souls,” proclaimed Pearson to the stars,
“that beat more like one heart than yourn and mine. Me and you might be
riding on a unicorn and thinking out of the same piece of mind.”</p>
<p>At a little past midnight the riders loped into Lone Elm. The half a hundred
houses of the big village were dark. On its only street the big wooden store
stood barred and shuttered.</p>
<p>In a few moments the horses were fastened and Pearson was pounding cheerfully
on the door of old Sutton, the storekeeper.</p>
<p>The barrel of a Winchester came through a cranny of a solid window shutter
followed by a short inquiry.</p>
<p>“Wells Pearson, of the Mucho Calor, and Burrows, of Green Valley,”
was the response. “We want to buy some goods in the store. Sorry to wake
you up but we must have ’em. Come on out, Uncle Tommy, and get a move on
you.”</p>
<p>Uncle Tommy was slow, but at length they got him behind his counter with a
kerosene lamp lit, and told him of their dire need.</p>
<p>“Easter hats?” said Uncle Tommy, sleepily. “Why, yes, I
believe I have got just a couple left. I only ordered a dozen this spring.
I’ll show ’em to you.”</p>
<p>Now, Uncle Tommy Sutton was a merchant, half asleep or awake. In dusty
pasteboard boxes under the counter he had two left-over spring hats. But, alas!
for his commercial probity on that early Saturday morn—they were hats of
two springs ago, and a woman’s eye would have detected the fraud at half
a glance. But to the unintelligent gaze of the cowpuncher and the sheepman they
seemed fresh from the mint of contemporaneous April.</p>
<p>The hats were of a variety once known as “cart-wheels.” They were
of stiff straw, colored red, and flat brimmed. Both were exactly alike, and
trimmed lavishly around their crowns with full blown, immaculate, artificial
white roses.</p>
<p>“That all you got, Uncle Tommy?” said Pearson. “All right.
Not much choice here, Burr. Take your pick.”</p>
<p>“They’re the latest styles” lied Uncle Tommy.
“You’d see ’em on Fifth Avenue, if you was in New
York.”</p>
<p>Uncle Tommy wrapped and tied each hat in two yards of dark calico for a
protection. One Pearson tied carefully to his calfskin saddle-thongs; and the
other became part of Road Runner’s burden. They shouted thanks and
farewells to Uncle Tommy, and cantered back into the night on the home stretch.</p>
<p>The horsemen jockeyed with all their skill. They rode more slowly on their way
back. The few words they spoke were not unfriendly. Burrows had a Winchester
under his left leg slung over his saddle horn. Pearson had a six shooter belted
around him. Thus men rode in the Frio country.</p>
<p>At half-past seven in the morning they rode to the top of a hill and saw the
Espinosa Ranch, a white spot under a dark patch of live-oaks, five miles away.</p>
<p>The sight roused Pearson from his drooping pose in the saddle. He knew what
Road Runner could do. The sorrel was lathered, and stumbling frequently; Road
Runner was pegging away like a donkey engine.</p>
<p>Pearson turned toward the sheepman and laughed. “Good-bye, Burr,”
he cried, with a wave of his hand. “It’s a race now. We’re on
the home stretch.”</p>
<p>He pressed Road Runner with his knees and leaned toward the Espinosa. Road
Runner struck into a gallop, with tossing head and snorting nostrils, as if he
were fresh from a month in pasture.</p>
<p>Pearson rode twenty yards and heard the unmistakable sound of a Winchester
lever throwing a cartridge into the barrel. He dropped flat along his
horse’s back before the crack of the rifle reached his ears.</p>
<p>It is possible that Burrows intended only to disable the horse—he was a
good enough shot to do that without endangering his rider. But as Pearson
stooped the ball went through his shoulder and then through Road Runner’s
neck. The horse fell and the cowman pitched over his head into the hard road,
and neither of them tried to move.</p>
<p>Burrows rode on without stopping.</p>
<p>In two hours Pearson opened his eyes and took inventory. He managed to get to
his feet and staggered back to where Road Runner was lying.</p>
<p>Road Runner was lying there, but he appeared to be comfortable. Pearson
examined him and found that the bullet had “creased” him. He had
been knocked out temporarily, but not seriously hurt. But he was tired, and he
lay there on Miss Tonia’s hat and ate leaves from a mesquite branch that
obligingly hung over the road.</p>
<p>Pearson made the horse get up. The Easter hat, loosed from the saddle-thongs,
lay there in its calico wrappings, a shapeless thing from its sojourn beneath
the solid carcass of Road Runner. Then Pearson fainted and fell head long upon
the poor hat again, crumpling it under his wounded shoulders.</p>
<p>It is hard to kill a cowpuncher. In half an hour he revived—long enough
for a woman to have fainted twice and tried ice-cream for a restorer. He got up
carefully and found Road Runner who was busy with the near-by grass. He tied
the unfortunate hat to the saddle again, and managed to get himself there, too,
after many failures.</p>
<p>At noon a gay and fluttering company waited in front of the Espinosa Ranch. The
Rogers girls were there in their new buckboard, and the Anchor-O outfit and the
Green Valley folks—mostly women. And each and every one wore her new
Easter hat, even upon the lonely prairies, for they greatly desired to shine
forth and do honor to the coming festival.</p>
<p>At the gate stood Tonia, with undisguised tears upon her cheeks. In her hand
she held Burrow’s Lone Elm hat, and it was at its white roses, hated by
her, that she wept. For her friends were telling her, with the ecstatic joy of
true friends, that cart-wheels could not be worn, being three seasons passed
into oblivion.</p>
<p>“Put on your old hat and come, Tonia,” they urged.</p>
<p>“For Easter Sunday?” she answered. “I’ll die
first.” And wept again.</p>
<p>The hats of the fortunate ones were curved and twisted into the style of
spring’s latest proclamation.</p>
<p>A strange being rode out of the brush among them, and there sat his horse
languidly. He was stained and disfigured with the green of the grass and the
limestone of rocky roads.</p>
<p>“Hallo, Pearson,” said Daddy Weaver. “Look like you’ve
been breaking a mustang. What’s that you’ve got tied to your
saddle—a pig in a poke?”</p>
<p>“Oh, come on, Tonia, if you’re going,” said Betty Rogers.
“We mustn’t wait any longer. We’ve saved a seat in the
buckboard for you. Never mind the hat. That lovely muslin you’ve got on
looks sweet enough with any old hat.”</p>
<p>Pearson was slowly untying the queer thing on his saddle. Tonia looked at him
with a sudden hope. Pearson was a man who created hope. He got the thing loose
and handed it to her. Her quick fingers tore at the strings.</p>
<p>“Best I could do,” said Pearson slowly. “What Road Runner and
me done to it will be about all it needs.”</p>
<p>“Oh, oh! it’s just the right shape,” shrieked Tonia.
“And red roses! Wait till I try it on!”</p>
<p>She flew in to the glass, and out again, beaming, radiating, blossomed.</p>
<p>“Oh, don’t red become her?” chanted the girls in recitative.
“Hurry up, Tonia!”</p>
<p>Tonia stopped for a moment by the side of Road Runner.</p>
<p>“Thank you, thank you, Wells,” she said, happily. “It’s
just what I wanted. Won’t you come over to Cactus to-morrow and go to
church with me?”</p>
<p>“If I can,” said Pearson. He was looking curiously at her hat, and
then he grinned weakly.</p>
<p>Tonia flew into the buckboard like a bird. The vehicles sped away for Cactus.</p>
<p>“What have you been doing, Pearson?” asked Daddy Weaver. “You
ain’t looking so well as common.”</p>
<p>“Me?” said Pearson. “I’ve been painting flowers. Them
roses was white when I left Lone Elm. Help me down, Daddy Weaver, for I
haven’t got any more paint to spare.”</p>
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