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<h2> VIII: Midsummer-Night’s Dream </h2>
<p>You may imagine in what state of wondering I went out of that place, and
how little I could now do away with my curiosity. By the droll looks and
head-turnings which followed me from strangers that passed me by in the
street, I was made aware that I must be talking aloud to myself, and the
words which I had evidently uttered were these: “But who in the world can
he have smashed up?”</p>
<p>Of course, beneath the public stare and smile I kept the rest of my
thoughts to myself; yet they so possessed and took me from my
surroundings, that presently, while crossing Royal Street, I was nearly
run down by an electric car. Nor did even this serve to disperse my
preoccupation; my walk back to Court and Chancel streets is as if it had
not been; I can remember nothing about it, and the first account that I
took of external objects was to find myself sitting in my accustomed chair
in the Library, with the accustomed row of books about the battle of
Cowpens waiting on the table in front of me. How long we had thus been
facing each other, the books and I, I’ve not a notion. And with such
mysterious machinery are we human beings filled—machinery that is in
motion all the while, whether we are aware of it or not—that now,
with some part of my mind, and with my pencil assisting, I composed
several stanzas to my kingly ancestor, the goal of my fruitless search;
and yet during the whole process of my metrical exercise I was really
thinking and wondering about John Mayrant, his battles and his loves.</p>
<p>ODE ON INTIMATIONS OF ROYALTY<br/>
<br/>
I sing to thee, thou Great Unknown,<br/>
Who canst connect me with a throne<br/>
Through uncle, cousin, aunt, or sister,<br/>
But not, I trust, through bar sinister.<br/>
<br/>
Chorus:<br/>
Gules! Gules! and a cuckoo peccant!<br/></p>
<p>Such was the frivolous opening of my poem, which, as it progressed, grew
even less edifying; I have quoted this fragment merely to show you how
little reverence for the Selected Salic Scions was by this time left in my
spirit, and not because the verses themselves are in the least
meritorious; they should serve as a model for no serious-minded singer,
and they afford a striking instance of that volatile mood, not to say that
inclination to ribaldry, which will at seasons crop out in me, do what I
will. It is my hope that age may help me to subdue this, although I have
observed it in some very old men.</p>
<p>I did not send my poem to Aunt Carola, but I wrote her a letter, even
there and then, couched in terms which I believe were altogether
respectful. I deplored my lack of success in discovering the link that was
missing between me and king’s blood; I intimated my conviction that
further effort on my part would still be met with failure; and I renounced
with fitting expressions of disappointment my candidateship for the Scions
thanking Aunt Carola for her generosity, by which I must now no longer
profit. I added that I should remain in Kings Port for the present, as I
was finding the climate of decided benefit to my health, and the courtesy
of the people an education in itself.</p>
<p>Whatever pain at missing the glory of becoming a Scion may have lingered
with me after this was much assuaged in a few days by my reading an
article in a New York paper, which gave an account of a meeting of my
Aunt’s Society, held in that city. My attention was attracted to this
article by the prominent heading given to it: THEY WORE THEIR CROWNS. This
in very conspicuous Roman capitals, caused me to sit up. There must have
been truth in some of it, because the food eaten by the Scions was
mentioned as consisting of sandwiches, sherry and croquettes; yet I think
that the statement that the members present addressed each other according
to the royal families from which they severally traced descent, as, for
example, Brother Guelph and Sister Plantagenet, can scarce have beers
aught but an exaggeration; nevertheless, the article brought me undeniable
consolation for my disappointment.</p>
<p>After finishing my letter to Aunt Carola I should have hastened out to
post it and escape from Cowpens, had I not remembered that John Mayrant
had more or less promised to meet me here. Now, there was but a slender
chance that he boy would speak to me on the subject of his late encounter;
this I must learn from other sources; but he might speak to me about
something that would open a way for my hostile preparations against Miss
Rieppe. So far he had not touched upon his impending marriage in any way,
but this reserve concerning a fact generally known among the people whom I
was seeing could hardly go on long without becoming ridiculous. If he
should shun mention of it to-day, I would take this as a plain sign that
he did not look forward to it with the enthusiasm which a lover ought to
feel for his approaching bliss; and on such silence from him I would
begin, if I could, to undermine his intention of keeping an engagement of
the heart when the heart no longer entered into it.</p>
<p>While my thoughts continued to be busied over this lover and his concerns,
I noticed the works of William Shakespeare close beside me upon a shelf;
and although it was with no special purpose in mind that I took out one of
the volumes and sat down with it to wait for John Mayrant, in a little
while an inspiration came to me from its pages, so that I was more anxious
than ever the boy should not fail to meet me here in the Library.</p>
<p>Was it the bruise on his forehead that had perturbed his manner just now
when he entered the Exchange? No, this was not likely to be the reason,
since he had been full as much embarrassed that first day of my seeing him
there, when he had given his order for Lady Baltimore so lamely that the
girl behind the counter had come to his aid. And what could it have been
that he had begun to tell her to-day as I was leaving the place? Was the
making of that cake again to be postponed on account of the General’s
precarious health? And what had been the nature of the insult which young
John Mayrant had punished and was now commanded to shake hands over? Could
it in truth be the owner of the Hermana whom he had thrashed so well as to
lay him up in bed? That incident had damaged two people at least, the
unknown vanquished combatant in his bodily welfare, and me in my character
as an upstanding man in the fierce feminine estimation of Miss La Heu; but
this injury it was my intention to set right; my confession to the girl
behind the counter was merely delayed. As I sat with Shakespeare open in
my lap, I added to my store of reasoning one little new straw of argument
in favor of my opinion that John Mayrant was no longer at ease or happy
about his love affair. I had never before met any young man in whose
manner nature was so finely tempered with good bringing-up; forwardness
and shyness were alike absent from him, and his bearing had a sort of
polished unconsciousness as far removed from raw diffidence as it was from
raw conceit; it was altogether a rare and charming address in a youth of
such true youthfulness, but it had failed him upon two occasions which I
have already mentioned. Both times that he had come to the Exchange he had
stumbled in his usually prompt speech, lost his habitual ease, and
betrayed, in short, all the signs of being disconcerted. The matter seemed
suddenly quite plain to me: it was the nature of his errands to the
Exchange. The first time he had been ordering the cake for his own
wedding, and to-day it was something about the wedding again. Evidently
the high mettle of his delicacy and breeding made him painfully conscious
of the view which others must take of the part that Miss Rieppe was
playing in all this—a view from which it was out of his power to
shield her; and it was this consciousness that destroyed his composure.
From what I was soon to learn of his fine and unmoved disregard for
unfavorable opinion when he felt his course to be the right one, I know
that it was no thought at all of his own scarcely heroic role during these
days, but only the perception that outsiders must detect in his affianced
lady some of those very same qualities which had chilled his too
precipitate passion for her, and left him alone, without romance, without
family sympathy, without social acclamations, with nothing indeed save his
high-strung notion of honor to help him bravely face the wedding march.
How appalling must the wedding march sound to a waiting bridegroom who
sees the bride, that he no longer looks at except with distaste and
estrangement, coming nearer and nearer to him up the aisle! A funeral
march would be gayer than that music, I should think! The thought came to
me to break out bluntly and say to him: “Countermand the cake! She’s only
playing with you while that yachtsman is making up his mind.” But there
could be but one outcome of such advice to John Mayrant: two people,
instead of one, would be in bed suffering from contusions. As I mused on
the boy and his attractive and appealing character, I became more rejoiced
than ever that he had thrashed somebody, I cared not very much who nor yet
very much why, so long as such thrashing had been thorough, which seemed
quite evidently and happily the case. He stood now in my eyes, in some way
that is too obscure for me to be able to explain to you, saved from some
reproach whose subtlety likewise eludes my powers of analysis.</p>
<p>It was already five minutes after three o’clock, my dinner hour, when he
at length appeared in the Library; and possibly I put some reproach into
my greeting: “Won’t you walk along with me to Mrs. Trevise’s?” (That was
my boarding house.)</p>
<p>“I could not get away from the Custom House sooner,” he explained; and
into his eyes there came for a moment that look of unrest and
preoccupation which I had observed at times while we had discussed Newport
and alcoholic girls. The two subjects seemed certainly far enough apart!
But he immediately began upon a conversation briskly enough—so
briskly that I suspected at once he had got his subject ready in advance;
he didn’t want me to speak first, lest I turn the talk into channels
embarrassing, such as bruised foreheads or wedding cake. Well, this should
not prevent me from dropping in his cup the wholesome bitters which I had
prepared.</p>
<p>“Well, sir! Well, sir!” such was his hearty preface. “I wonder if you’re
feeling ashamed of yourself?”</p>
<p>“Never when I read Shakespeare,” I answered restoring the plume to its
place.</p>
<p>He looked at the title. “Which one?”</p>
<p>“One of the unsuitable love affairs that was prevented in time.”</p>
<p>“Romeo and Juliet?”</p>
<p>“No; Bottom and Titania—and Romeo and Juliet were not prevented in
time. They had their bliss once and to the full, and died before they
caused each other anything but ecstasy. No weariness of routine, no tears
of disenchantment; complete love, completely realized—and finis!
It’s the happiest ending of all the plays.”</p>
<p>He looked at me hard. “Sometimes I believe you’re ironic!”</p>
<p>I smiled at him. “A sign of the highest civilization, then. But please to
think of Juliet after ten years of Romeo and his pin-headed intelligence
and his preordained infidelities. Do you imagine that her predecessor,
Rosamond, would have had no successors? Juliet would have been compelled
to divorce Romeo, if only for the children’s sake.</p>
<p>“The children!” cried John Mayrant. “Why, it’s for their sake deserted
women abstain from divorce!”</p>
<p>“Juliet would see deeper than such mothers. She could not have her little
sons and daughters grow up and comprehend their father’s absences, and see
their mother’s submission to his returns for such discovery would scorch
the marrow of any hearts they had.”</p>
<p>At this, as we came out of the Library, he made an astonishing rejoinder,
and one which I cannot in the least account for: “South Carolina does not
allow divorce.”</p>
<p>“Then I should think,” I said to him, “that all you people here would be
doubly careful as to what manner of husbands and wives you chose for
yourselves.”</p>
<p>Such a remark was sailing, you may say, almost within three points of the
wind; and his own accidental allusion to Romeo had brought it about with
an aptness and a celerity which were better for my purpose than anything I
had privately developed from the text of Bottom and Titania; none the
less, however, did I intend to press into my service that fond couple also
as basis for a moral, in spite of the sharp turn which those last words of
mine now caused him at once to give to our conversation. His quick
reversion to the beginning of the talk seemed like a dodging of remarks
that hit too near home for him to relish hearing pursued.</p>
<p>“Well, sir,” he resumed with the same initial briskness, “I was ashamed if
you were not.”</p>
<p>“I still don’t make out what impropriety we have jointly committed.”</p>
<p>“What do you think of the views you expressed about our country?”</p>
<p>“Oh! When we sat on the gravestones.”</p>
<p>“What do you think about it to-day?”</p>
<p>I turned to him as we slowly walked toward Worship Street. “Did you say
anything then that you would take back now?”</p>
<p>He pondered, wrinkling his forehead. “Well, but all the same, didn’t we
give the present hour a pretty black eye?”</p>
<p>“The present hour deserves a black eye, and two of them!”</p>
<p>He surveyed me squarely. “I believe you’re a pessimist!”</p>
<p>“That is the first trashy thing I’ve heard you say.”</p>
<p>“Thank you! At least admit you’re scarcely an optimist.”</p>
<p>“Optimist! Pessimist! Why, you’re talking just like a newspaper!”</p>
<p>He laughed. “Oh, don’t compare a gentleman to a newspaper.”</p>
<p>“Then keep your vocabulary clean of bargain-counter words. A while ago the
journalists had a furious run upon the adjective ‘un-American.’ Anybody or
anything that displeased them was ‘un-American.’ They ran it into the
ground, and in its place they have lately set up ‘pessimist,’ which
certainly has a threatening appearance. They don’t know its meaning, and
in their mouths it merely signifies that what a man says snakes them feel
personally uncomfortable. The word has become a dusty rag of slang. The
arrested burglar very likely calls the policeman a pessimist; and,
speaking reverently and with no intention to shock you, the scribes and
Pharisees would undoubtedly have called Christ a pessimist when He called
them hypocrites, had they been acquainted with the word.”</p>
<p>Once more my remarks drew from the boy an unexpected rejoinder. We had
turned into Worship Street, and, as we passed the churchyard, he stopped
and laid his hand upon the railing of the pate.</p>
<p>“You don’t shock me,” he said; and then: “But you would shock my aunts.”
He paused, gazing into the churchyard, before he continued more slowly:
“And so should I—if they knew it—shock them.”</p>
<p>“If they knew what?” I asked.</p>
<p>His hand indicated a sculptured crucifix near by.</p>
<p>“Do you believe everything still?” he answered. “Can you?”</p>
<p>As he looked at me, I suppose that he read negation in my eyes.</p>
<p>“No more can I,” he murmured. Again he looked in among the tombstones and
flowers, where the old custodian saw us and took off his hat. “Howdy,
Daddy Ben!” John Mayrant returned pleasantly, and then resuming to me: “No
more can I believe everything.” Then he gave a brief, comical laugh. “And
I hope my aunts won’t find that out! They would think me gone to perdition
indeed. But I always go to church here” (he pointed to the quiet building,
which, for all its modest size and simplicity, had a stately and
inexpressible charm), “because I like to kneel where my mother said her
prayers, you know.” He flushed a little over this confidence into which he
had fallen, but he continued: “I like the words of the service, too, and I
don’t ask myself over-curiously what I do believe; but there’s a permanent
something within us—a Greater Self—don’t you think?”</p>
<p>“A permanent something,” I assented, “which has created all the religions
all over the earth from the beginning, and of which Christianity itself is
merely one of the present temples.”</p>
<p>He made an exclamation at my word “present.”</p>
<p>“Do you think anything in this world is final?” I asked him.</p>
<p>“But—” he began, somewhat at a loss.</p>
<p>“Haven’t you found out yet that human nature is the one indestructible
reality that we know?”</p>
<p>“But—” he began again.</p>
<p>“Don’t we have the ‘latest thing’ all the time, and never the ultimate
thing, never, never? The latest thing in women’s hats is that huge-brimmed
affair with the veil as voluminous as a double-bed mosquito netting. That
hat will look improbable next spring. The latest thing in science is
radium. Radium has exploded the conservation of energy theory—turned
it into a last year’s hat. Answer me, if Christianity is the same as when
it wore among its savage ornaments a devil with horns and a flaming Hell!
Forever and forever the human race reaches out its hand and shapes some
system, some creed, some government, and declares: ‘This is at length the
final thing, the cure-all,’ and lo and behold, something flowing and
eternal in the race itself presently splits the creed and the government
to pieces! Truth is a very marvelous thing. We feel it; it can fill our
eyes with tears, our hearts with joy, it can make us die for it; but once
our human lips attempt to formulate and thus imprison it, it becomes a
lie. You cannot shut truth up in any words.”</p>
<p>“But it shall prevail!” the boy exclaimed with a sort of passion.</p>
<p>“Everything prevails,” I answered him.</p>
<p>“I don’t like that,” he said.</p>
<p>“Neither do I,” I returned. “But Jacob got Esau’s inheritance by a mean
trick.”</p>
<p>“Jacob was punished for it.”</p>
<p>“Did that help Esau much?”</p>
<p>“You are a pessimist!”</p>
<p>“Just because I see Jacob and Esau to-day, alive and kicking in Wall
Street, Washington, Newport, everywhere?”</p>
<p>“You’re no optimist, anyhow!”</p>
<p>“I hope I’m blind in neither eye.”</p>
<p>“You don’t give us credit—”</p>
<p>“For what?”</p>
<p>“For what we’ve accomplished since Jacob.”</p>
<p>“Printing, steam, and electricity, for instance? They spread the Bible and
the yellow journal with equal velocity.”</p>
<p>“I don’t mean science. Take our institutions.”</p>
<p>“Well, we’ve accomplished hospitals and the stock market—a pretty
even set-off between God and the devil.”</p>
<p>He laughed. “You don’t take a high view of us!”</p>
<p>“Nor a low one. I don’t play ostrich with any of the staring permanences
of human nature. We’re just as noble to-day as David was sometimes, and
just as bestial to-day as David was sometimes, and we’ve every possibility
inside us all the time, whether we paint our naked skins, or wear steel
armor or starched shirts.”</p>
<p>“Well, I believe good is the guiding power in the world.”</p>
<p>“Oh, John Mayrant! Good and evil draw us on like a span of horses,
sometimes like a tandem, taking turns in the lead. Order has melted into
disorder, and disorder into new order—how many times?”</p>
<p>“But better each time.”</p>
<p>“How can you know, who never lived in any age but your own?”</p>
<p>“I know we have a higher ideal.”</p>
<p>“Have we? The Greek was taught to love his neighbor as himself. He gave
his great teacher a cup of poison. We gave ours the cross.”</p>
<p>Again he looked away from me into the sweet old churchyard. “I can’t
answer you, but I don’t believe it.”</p>
<p>This brought me to gayety. “That’s unanswerable, anyhow!”</p>
<p>He still stared at the graves. “Those people in there didn’t think all
these uncomfortable things.”</p>
<p>“Ah! no! They belonged in the first volume of the history of our national
soul, before the bloom was off us.”</p>
<p>“That’s an odd notion! And pray what volume are we in now?”</p>
<p>“Only the second.”</p>
<p>“Since when?”</p>
<p>“Since that momentous picnic, the Spanish War!”</p>
<p>“I don’t see how that took the bloom off us.”</p>
<p>“It didn’t. It merely waked Europe up to the facts.”</p>
<p>“Our battleships, you mean?”</p>
<p>“Our steel rails, our gold coffers, our roaring affluence.”</p>
<p>“And our very accurate shooting!” he insisted; for he was a Southerner,
and man’s gallantry appealed to him more than man’s industry.</p>
<p>I laughed. “Yes, indeed! We may say that the Spanish War closed our first
volume with a bang. And now in the second we bid good-by to the virgin
wilderness, for it’s explored; to the Indian, for he’s conquered; to the
pioneer, for he’s dead; we’ve finished our wild, romantic adolescence and
we find ourselves a recognized world power of eighty million people, and
of general commercial endlessness, and playtime over.”</p>
<p>I think, John Mayrant now asserted, “that it is going too far to say the
bloom is off us.”</p>
<p>“Oh, you’ll find snow in the woods away into April and May. The
freedom-loving American, the embattled farmer, is not yet extinct in the
far recesses. But the great cities grow like a creeping paralysis over
freedom, and the man from the country is walking into them all the time
because the poor, restless fellow believes wealth awaits him on their
pavements. And when he doesn’t go to them, they come to him. The Wall
Street bucket-shop goes fishing in the woods with wires a thousand miles
long; and so we exchange the solid trailblazing enterprise of Volume One
for Volume Two’s electric unrest. In Volume One our wagon was hitched to
the star of liberty. Capital and labor have cut the traces. The labor
union forbids the workingman to labor as his own virile energy and skill
prompt him. If he disobeys, he is expelled and called a ‘scab.’ Don’t let
us call ourselves the land of the free while such things go on. We’re all
thinking a deal too much about our pockets nowadays. Eternal vigilance
cannot watch liberty and the ticker at the same time.</p>
<p>“Well,” said John Mayrant, “we’re not thinking about our pockets in Kings
Port, because” (and here there came into his voice and face that sudden
humor which made him so delightful)—“because we haven’t got any
pockets to think of!”</p>
<p>This brought me down to cheerfulness from my flight among the cold clouds.</p>
<p>He continued: “Any more lamentations, Mr. Jeremiah?”</p>
<p>“Those who begin to call names, John Mayrant—but never mind! I could
lament you sick if I chose to go on about our corporations and corruption
that I see with my pessimistic eye; but the other eye sees the American
man himself—the type that our eighty millions on the whole melt into
and to which my heart warms each time I land again from more polished and
colder shores—my optimistic eye sees that American dealing
adequately with these political diseases. For stronger even than his
kindness, his ability, and his dishonesty is his self-preservation. He’s
going to stand up for the ‘open shop’ and sit down on the ‘trust’; and I
assure you that I don’t in the least resemble the Evening Post.”</p>
<p>A look of inquiry was in John Mayrant’s features.</p>
<p>“The New York Evening Post,” I repeated with surprise. Still the inquiry
of his face remained.</p>
<p>“Oh, fortunate youth!” I cried. “To have escaped the New York Evening
Post!”</p>
<p>“Is it so heinous?”</p>
<p>“Well!... well!... how exactly describe it?... make you see it?... It’s
partially tongue-tied, a sad victim of its own excesses. Habitual
over-indulgence in blaming has given it a painful stutter when attempting
praise; it’s the sprucely written sheet of the supercilious; it’s the
after-dinner pill of the American who prefers Europe; it’s our Republic’s
common scold, the Xantippe of journalism, the paper without a country.”</p>
<p>“The paper without a country! That’s very good!”</p>
<p>“Oh, no! I’ll tell you something much better, but it is not mine. A clever
New Yorker said that what with The Sun—”</p>
<p>“I know that paper.”</p>
<p>“—what with The Sun making vice so attractive in the morning and the
Post making virtue so odious in the evening, it was very hard for a man to
be good in New York.”</p>
<p>“I fear I should subscribe to The Sun,” said John Mayrant. He took his
hand from the church-gate railing, and we had turned to stroll down
Worship Street when he was unexpectedly addressed.</p>
<p>For some minutes, while John Mayrant and I had been talking, I had grown
aware, without taking any definite note of it, that the old custodian of
the churchyard, Daddy Ben, had come slowly near us from the distant corner
of his demesne, where he had been (to all appearances) engaged in some
trifling activity among the flowers—perhaps picking off the faded
blossoms. It now came home to me that the venerable negro had really been,
in a surreptitious way, watching John Mayrant, and waiting for something—either
for the right moment to utter what he now uttered, or his own delayed
decision to utter it at all.</p>
<p>“Mas’ John!” he called quite softly. His tone was fairly padded with
caution, and I saw that in the pause which followed, his eye shot a swift
look at the bruise on Mayrant’s forehead, and another look, equally swift,
at me.</p>
<p>“Well, Daddy Ben, what is it?”</p>
<p>The custodian shunted close to the gate which separated him from us. “Mas’
John, I speck de President he dun’ know de cullud people like we knows
‘um, else he nebber bin ‘pint dat ar boss in de Cussum House, no, sah.”</p>
<p>After this effort he wiped his forehead and breathed hard.</p>
<p>To my astonishment, the effort brought immediately a stern change over
John Mayrant’s face; then he answered in the kindest tones, “Thank you,
Daddy Ben.”</p>
<p>This answer interpreted for me the whole thing, which otherwise would have
been obscure enough: the old man held it to be an indignity that his young
“Mas’ John” should, by the President’s act, find himself the subordinate
of a member of the black race, and he had just now, in his perspiring
effort, expressed his sympathy! Why he had chosen this particular moment
(after quite obvious debate with himself) I did not see until somewhat
later.</p>
<p>He now left us standing at the gate; and it was not for some moments that
John Mayrant spoke again, evidently closing, for our two selves, this
delicate subject.</p>
<p>“I wish we had not got into that second volume of yours.”</p>
<p>“That’s not progressive.”</p>
<p>“I hate progress.”</p>
<p>“What’s the use? Better grow old gracefully!</p>
<p>“‘Qui no pas l’esprit de son age<br/>
De son age a tout le malheur.’”<br/></p>
<p>“Well, I’m personally not growing old, just yet.”</p>
<p>“Neither is the United States.”</p>
<p>“Well, I don’t know. It’s too easy for sick or worthless people to survive
nowadays. They are clotting up our square miles very fast. Philanthropists
don’t seem to remember that you can beget children a great deal faster
than you can educate them; and at this rate I believe universal suffrage
will kill us off before our time.”</p>
<p>“Do not believe it! We are going to find out that universal suffrage is
like the appendix—useful at an early stage of the race’s evolution
but to-day merely a threat to life.”</p>
<p>He thought this over. “But a surgical operation is pretty serious, you
know.”</p>
<p>“It’ll be done by absorption. Why, you’ve begun it yourselves, and so has
Massachusetts. The appendix will be removed, black and white—and I
shouldn’t much fear surgery. We’re not nearly civilized enough yet to have
lost the power Of recuperation, and in spite of our express-train speed, I
doubt if we shall travel from crudity to rottenness without a pause at
maturity.”</p>
<p>“That is the old, old story,” he said.</p>
<p>“Yes; is there anything new under the sun?”</p>
<p>He was gloomy. “Nothing, I suppose.” Then the gloom lightened. “Nothing
new under the sun—except the fashionable families of Newport!”</p>
<p>This again brought us from the clouds of speculation down to Worship
Street, where we were walking toward South Place. It also unexpectedly
furnished me with the means to lead back our talk so gently, without a
jolt or a jerk, to my moral and the delicate topic of matrimony from which
he had dodged away, that he never awoke to what was coming until it had
come. He began pointing out, as we passed them, certain houses which were
now, or had at some period been, the dwellings of his many relatives: “My
cousin Julia So-and-so lives there,” he would say; or, “My great-uncle,
known as Regent Tom, owned that before the War”; and once, “The Rev.
Joseph Priedieu, my great-grandfather, built that house to marry his fifth
wife in, but the grave claimed him first.”</p>
<p>So I asked him a riddle. “What is the difference between Kings Port and
Newport?”</p>
<p>This he, of course, gave up.</p>
<p>“Here you are all connected by marriage, and there they are all connected
by divorce.”</p>
<p>“That’s true!” he cried, “that’s very true. I met the most embarrassingly
cater-cornered families.”</p>
<p>“Oh, they weren’t embarrassed!” I interjected.</p>
<p>“No, but I was,” said John.</p>
<p>“And you told me you weren’t innocent!” I exclaimed. “They are going to
institute a divorce march,” I continued. “‘Lohengrin’ or
‘Midsummer-Night’s Dream’ played backward. They have not settled which it
is to be taught in the nursery with the other kindergarten melodies.”</p>
<p>He was still unsuspectingly diverted; and we walked along until we turned
in the direction of my boarding-house.</p>
<p>“Did you ever notice,” I now said, “what a perpetual allegory
‘Midsummer-Night’s Dream’ contains?”</p>
<p>“I thought it was just a fairy sort of thing.”</p>
<p>“Yes, but when a great poet sets his hand to a fairy sort of thing, you
get—well, you get poor Titania.”</p>
<p>“She fell in love with a jackass,” he remarked. “Puck bewitched her.”</p>
<p>“Precisely. A lovely woman with her arms around a jackass. Does that never
happen in Kings Port?”</p>
<p>He began smiling to himself. “I’m afraid Puck isn’t all dead yet.”</p>
<p>I was now in a position to begin dropping my bitters. “Shakespeare was
probably too gallant to put it the other way, and make Oberon fall in love
with a female jackass. But what an allegory!”</p>
<p>“Yes,” he muttered. “Yes.”</p>
<p>I followed with another drop. “Titania got out of it. It is not always
solved so easily.”</p>
<p>“No,” he muttered. “No.” It was quite evident that the flavor of my
bitters reached him.</p>
<p>He was walking slowly, with his head down, and frowning hard. We had now
come to the steps of my boarding-house, and I dropped my last drop. “But a
disenchanted woman has the best of it—before marriage, at least.”</p>
<p>He looked up quickly. “How?”</p>
<p>I evinced surprise. “Why, she can always break off honorably, and we never
can, I suppose.”</p>
<p>For the third time this day he made me an astonishing rejoinder: “Would
you like to take orders from a negro?”</p>
<p>It reduced me to stammering. “I have never—such a juncture has never—”</p>
<p>“Of course you wouldn’t. Even a Northerner!”</p>
<p>His face, as he said this, was a single glittering piece of fierceness. I
was still so much taken aback that I said rather flatly: “But who has to?”</p>
<p>“I have to.” With this he abruptly turned on his heel and left me standing
on the steps. For a moment I stared after him; and then, as I rang the
bell, he was back again; and with that formality which at times overtook
him he began: “I will ask you to excuse my hasty—”</p>
<p>“Oh, John Mayrant! What a notion!”</p>
<p>But he was by no means to be put off, and he proceeded with stiffer
formality: “I feel that I have not acted politely just now, and I beg to
assure you that I intended no slight.”</p>
<p>My first impulse was to lay a hand upon his shoulder and say to him: “My
dear fellow, stuff and nonsense!” Thus I should have treated any Northern
friend; but here was no Northerner. I am glad that I had the sense to feel
that any careless, good-natured putting away of his deliberate and
definitely tendered apology would seem to him a “slight” on my part. His
punctilious value for certain observances between man and man reached me
suddenly and deeply, and took me far from the familiarity which breeds
contempt.</p>
<p>“Why, John Mayrant,” I said, “you could never offend me unless I thought
that you wished to, and how should I possibly think that?”</p>
<p>“Thank you,” he replied very simply.</p>
<p>I rang the bell a second time. “If we can get into the house,” I
suggested, “won’t you stop and dine with me?”</p>
<p>He was going to accept. “I shall be—” he had begun, in tones of
gratification, when in one instant his face was stricken with complete
dismay. “I had forgotten,” he said; and this time he was gone indeed, and
in a hurry most apparent. It resembled a flight.</p>
<p>What was the matter now? You will naturally think that it was an
appointment with his ladylove which he had forgotten; this was certainly
my supposition as I turned again to the front door. There stood one of the
waitresses, glaring with her white eyes half out of her black face at the
already distant back of John Mayrant.</p>
<p>“Oh!” I thought; but, before I could think any more, the tall, dreadful
boarder—the lady whom I secretly called Juno—swept up the
steps, and by me into the house, with a dignity that one might term
deafening.</p>
<p>The waitress now muttered, or rather sang, a series of pious apostrophes.
“Oh, Lawd, de rampages and de ructions! Oh, Lawd, sinner is in my way,
Daniel!” She was strongly, but I think pleasurably, excited; and she next
turned to me with a most natural grin, and saying, “Chick’n’s mos’ gone,
sah,” she went back to the dining room.</p>
<p>This admonition sent me upstairs to make as hasty a toilet as I could.</p>
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