<SPAN name="toc117" id="toc117"></SPAN>
<SPAN name="pdf118" id="pdf118"></SPAN>
<h3 class="tei tei-head" style="text-align: left; margin-bottom: 2.40em; margin-top: 2.40em"><span style="font-size: 120%">Chapter III. Gold-Mines</span></h3>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
This was the visit of Mitya of which Grushenka had spoken to
Rakitin with such horror. She was just then expecting the
<span class="tei tei-q">“message,”</span> and was much relieved that Mitya had not been to see
her that day or the day before. She hoped that <span class="tei tei-q">“please God he won't
come till I'm gone away,”</span> and he suddenly burst in on her. The
rest we know already. To get him off her hands she suggested at
once that he should walk with her to Samsonov's, where she said
she absolutely must go <span class="tei tei-q">“to settle his accounts,”</span> and when Mitya
accompanied her at once, she said good-by to him at the gate, making
him promise to come at twelve o'clock to take her home again.
Mitya, too, was delighted at this arrangement. If she was sitting
at Samsonov's she could not be going to Fyodor Pavlovitch's, <span class="tei tei-q">“if
only she's not lying,”</span> he added at once. But he thought she was
not lying from what he saw.</p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
He was that sort of jealous man who, in the absence of the beloved
woman, at once invents all sorts of awful fancies of what may be
happening to her, and how she may be betraying him, but, when
shaken, heartbroken, convinced of her faithlessness, he runs back to
her; at the first glance at her face, her gay, laughing, affectionate
face, he revives at once, lays aside all suspicion and with joyful
shame abuses himself for his jealousy.</p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
After leaving Grushenka at the gate he rushed home. Oh, he
had so much still to do that day! But a load had been lifted from
his heart, anyway.</p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“Now I must only make haste and find out from Smerdyakov
whether anything happened there last night, whether, by any chance,
she went to Fyodor Pavlovitch; ough!”</span> floated through his mind.</p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
Before he had time to reach his lodging, jealousy had surged up
again in his restless heart.</p>
<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page425"></span><SPAN name="Pg425" id="Pg425" class="tei tei-anchor"></SPAN>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
Jealousy! <span class="tei tei-q">“Othello was not jealous, he was trustful,”</span> observed
Pushkin. And that remark alone is enough to show the deep insight
of our great poet. Othello's soul was shattered and his whole
outlook clouded simply because <em class="tei tei-emph"><span style="font-style: italic">his ideal was destroyed</span></em>. But Othello
did not begin hiding, spying, peeping. He was trustful, on the
contrary. He had to be led up, pushed on, excited with great difficulty
before he could entertain the idea of deceit. The truly jealous
man is not like that. It is impossible to picture to oneself the shame
and moral degradation to which the jealous man can descend without
a qualm of conscience. And yet it's not as though the jealous
were all vulgar and base souls. On the contrary, a man of lofty
feelings, whose love is pure and full of self-sacrifice, may yet hide
under tables, bribe the vilest people, and be familiar with the lowest
ignominy of spying and eavesdropping.</p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
Othello was incapable of making up his mind to faithlessness—not
incapable of forgiving it, but of making up his mind to it—though
his soul was as innocent and free from malice as a babe's. It
is not so with the really jealous man. It is hard to imagine what
some jealous men can make up their mind to and overlook, and
what they can forgive! The jealous are the readiest of all to forgive,
and all women know it. The jealous man can forgive extraordinarily
quickly (though, of course, after a violent scene), and he
is able to forgive infidelity almost conclusively proved, the very
kisses and embraces he has seen, if only he can somehow be convinced
that it has all been <span class="tei tei-q">“for the last time,”</span> and that his rival
will vanish from that day forward, will depart to the ends of the
earth, or that he himself will carry her away somewhere, where that
dreaded rival will not get near her. Of course the reconciliation
is only for an hour. For, even if the rival did disappear next day,
he would invent another one and would be jealous of him. And one
might wonder what there was in a love that had to be so watched
over, what a love could be worth that needed such strenuous guarding.
But that the jealous will never understand. And yet among
them are men of noble hearts. It is remarkable, too, that those very
men of noble hearts, standing hidden in some cupboard, listening
and spying, never feel the stings of conscience at that moment,
anyway, though they understand clearly enough with their <span class="tei tei-q">“noble
hearts”</span> the shameful depths to which they have voluntarily sunk.</p>
<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page426"></span><SPAN name="Pg426" id="Pg426" class="tei tei-anchor"></SPAN>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
At the sight of Grushenka, Mitya's jealousy vanished, and, for an
instant he became trustful and generous, and positively despised
himself for his evil feelings. But it only proved that, in his love
for the woman, there was an element of something far higher than
he himself imagined, that it was not only a sensual passion, not only
the <span class="tei tei-q">“curve of her body,”</span> of which he had talked to Alyosha. But,
as soon as Grushenka had gone, Mitya began to suspect her of all
the low cunning of faithlessness, and he felt no sting of conscience
at it.</p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
And so jealousy surged up in him again. He had, in any case, to
make haste. The first thing to be done was to get hold of at least
a small, temporary loan of money. The nine roubles had almost
all gone on his expedition. And, as we all know, one can't take a
step without money. But he had thought over in the cart where
he could get a loan. He had a brace of fine dueling pistols in a case,
which he had not pawned till then because he prized them above
all his possessions.</p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
In the <span class="tei tei-q">“Metropolis”</span> tavern he had some time since made acquaintance
with a young official and had learnt that this very
opulent bachelor was passionately fond of weapons. He used to
buy pistols, revolvers, daggers, hang them on his wall and show them
to acquaintances. He prided himself on them, and was quite a
specialist on the mechanism of the revolver. Mitya, without stopping
to think, went straight to him, and offered to pawn his pistols
to him for ten roubles. The official, delighted, began trying to
persuade him to sell them outright. But Mitya would not consent,
so the young man gave him ten roubles, protesting that nothing
would induce him to take interest. They parted friends.</p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
Mitya was in haste; he rushed towards Fyodor Pavlovitch's by
the back way, to his arbor, to get hold of Smerdyakov as soon as
possible. In this way the fact was established that three or four
hours before a certain event, of which I shall speak later on, Mitya
had not a farthing, and pawned for ten roubles a possession he
valued, though, three hours later, he was in possession of thousands....
But I am anticipating. From Marya Kondratyevna (the
woman living near Fyodor Pavlovitch's) he learned the very disturbing
fact of Smerdyakov's illness. He heard the story of his
fall in the cellar, his fit, the doctor's visit, Fyodor Pavlovitch's
<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page427"></span><SPAN name="Pg427" id="Pg427" class="tei tei-anchor"></SPAN>
anxiety; he heard with interest, too, that his brother Ivan had set
off that morning for Moscow.</p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“Then he must have driven through Volovya before me,”</span> thought
Dmitri, but he was terribly distressed about Smerdyakov. <span class="tei tei-q">“What
will happen now? Who'll keep watch for me? Who'll bring me
word?”</span> he thought. He began greedily questioning the women
whether they had seen anything the evening before. They quite
understood what he was trying to find out, and completely reassured
him. No one had been there. Ivan Fyodorovitch had been
there the night; everything had been perfectly as usual. Mitya
grew thoughtful. He would certainly have to keep watch to-day,
but where? Here or at Samsonov's gate? He decided that he must
be on the look out both here and there, and meanwhile ... meanwhile....
The difficulty was that he had to carry out the new
plan that he had made on the journey back. He was sure of its
success, but he must not delay acting upon it. Mitya resolved to
sacrifice an hour to it: <span class="tei tei-q">“In an hour I shall know everything, I shall
settle everything, and then, then, first of all to Samsonov's. I'll
inquire whether Grushenka's there and instantly be back here again,
stay till eleven, and then to Samsonov's again to bring her home.”</span>
This was what he decided.</p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
He flew home, washed, combed his hair, brushed his clothes,
dressed, and went to Madame Hohlakov's. Alas! he had built his
hopes on her. He had resolved to borrow three thousand from that
lady. And what was more, he felt suddenly convinced that she
would not refuse to lend it to him. It may be wondered why, if he
felt so certain, he had not gone to her at first, one of his own sort,
so to speak, instead of to Samsonov, a man he did not know, who
was not of his own class, and to whom he hardly knew how to speak.</p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
But the fact was that he had never known Madame Hohlakov
well, and had seen nothing of her for the last month, and that he
knew she could not endure him. She had detested him from the
first because he was engaged to Katerina Ivanovna, while she had,
for some reason, suddenly conceived the desire that Katerina Ivanovna
should throw him over, and marry the <span class="tei tei-q">“charming, chivalrously
refined Ivan, who had such excellent manners.”</span> Mitya's manners
she detested. Mitya positively laughed at her, and had once said
about her that she was just as lively and at her ease as she was uncultivated.
<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page428"></span><SPAN name="Pg428" id="Pg428" class="tei tei-anchor"></SPAN>
But that morning in the cart a brilliant idea had struck
him: <span class="tei tei-q">“If she is so anxious I should not marry Katerina Ivanovna”</span>
(and he knew she was positively hysterical upon the subject) <span class="tei tei-q">“why
should she refuse me now that three thousand, just to enable me
to leave Katya and get away from her for ever. These spoilt fine
ladies, if they set their hearts on anything, will spare no expense to
satisfy their caprice. Besides, she's so rich,”</span> Mitya argued.</p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
As for his <span class="tei tei-q">“plan”</span> it was just the same as before; it consisted of the
offer of his rights to Tchermashnya—but not with a commercial
object, as it had been with Samsonov, not trying to allure the lady
with the possibility of making a profit of six or seven thousand—but
simply as a security for the debt. As he worked out this new
idea, Mitya was enchanted with it, but so it always was with him
in all his undertakings, in all his sudden decisions. He gave himself
up to every new idea with passionate enthusiasm. Yet, when he
mounted the steps of Madame Hohlakov's house he felt a shiver of
fear run down his spine. At that moment he saw fully, as a mathematical
certainty, that this was his last hope, that if this broke down,
nothing else was left him in the world, but to <span class="tei tei-q">“rob and murder
some one for the three thousand.”</span> It was half-past seven when he
rang at the bell.</p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
At first fortune seemed to smile upon him. As soon as he was
announced he was received with extraordinary rapidity. <span class="tei tei-q">“As though
she were waiting for me,”</span> thought Mitya, and as soon as he had
been led to the drawing-room, the lady of the house herself ran in,
and declared at once that she was expecting him.</p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“I was expecting you! I was expecting you! Though I'd no
reason to suppose you would come to see me, as you will admit yourself.
Yet, I did expect you. You may marvel at my instinct,
Dmitri Fyodorovitch, but I was convinced all the morning that you
would come.”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“That is certainly wonderful, madam,”</span> observed Mitya, sitting
down limply, <span class="tei tei-q">“but I have come to you on a matter of great importance....
On a matter of supreme importance for me, that is,
madam ... for me alone ... and I hasten—”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“I know you've come on most important business, Dmitri
Fyodorovitch; it's not a case of presentiment, no reactionary harking
back to the miraculous (have you heard about Father Zossima?).
<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page429"></span><SPAN name="Pg429" id="Pg429" class="tei tei-anchor"></SPAN>
This is a case of mathematics: you couldn't help coming, after all
that has passed with Katerina Ivanovna; you couldn't, you couldn't,
that's a mathematical certainty.”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“The realism of actual life, madam, that's what it is. But allow
me to explain—”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“Realism indeed, Dmitri Fyodorovitch. I'm all for realism now.
I've seen too much of miracles. You've heard that Father Zossima
is dead?”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“No, madam, it's the first time I've heard of it.”</span> Mitya was
a little surprised. The image of Alyosha rose to his mind.</p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“Last night, and only imagine—”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“Madam,”</span> said Mitya, <span class="tei tei-q">“I can imagine nothing except that I'm
in a desperate position, and that if you don't help me, everything
will come to grief, and I first of all. Excuse me for the triviality
of the expression, but I'm in a fever—”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“I know, I know that you're in a fever. You could hardly fail
to be, and whatever you may say to me, I know beforehand. I have
long been thinking over your destiny, Dmitri Fyodorovitch, I am
watching over it and studying it.... Oh, believe me, I'm an experienced
doctor of the soul, Dmitri Fyodorovitch.”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“Madam, if you are an experienced doctor, I'm certainly an experienced
patient,”</span> said Mitya, with an effort to be polite, <span class="tei tei-q">“and I
feel that if you are watching over my destiny in this way, you will
come to my help in my ruin, and so allow me, at least to explain to
you the plan with which I have ventured to come to you ... and
what I am hoping of you.... I have come, madam—”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“Don't explain it. It's of secondary importance. But as for help,
you're not the first I have helped, Dmitri Fyodorovitch. You have
most likely heard of my cousin, Madame Belmesov. Her husband
was ruined, <span class="tei tei-q">‘had come to grief,’</span> as you characteristically express it,
Dmitri Fyodorovitch. I recommended him to take to horse-breeding,
and now he's doing well. Have you any idea of horse-breeding,
Dmitri Fyodorovitch?”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“Not the faintest, madam; ah, madam, not the faintest!”</span> cried
Mitya, in nervous impatience, positively starting from his seat. <span class="tei tei-q">“I
simply implore you, madam, to listen to me. Only give me two
minutes of free speech that I may just explain to you everything,
the whole plan with which I have come. Besides, I am short of
<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page430"></span><SPAN name="Pg430" id="Pg430" class="tei tei-anchor"></SPAN>
time. I'm in a fearful hurry,”</span> Mitya cried hysterically, feeling that
she was just going to begin talking again, and hoping to cut her
short. <span class="tei tei-q">“I have come in despair ... in the last gasp of despair,
to beg you to lend me the sum of three thousand, a loan, but on
safe, most safe security, madam, with the most trustworthy guarantees!
Only let me explain—”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“You must tell me all that afterwards, afterwards!”</span> Madame
Hohlakov with a gesture demanded silence in her turn, <span class="tei tei-q">“and whatever
you may tell me, I know it all beforehand; I've told you so
already. You ask for a certain sum, for three thousand, but I can
give you more, immeasurably more, I will save you, Dmitri Fyodorovitch,
but you must listen to me.”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
Mitya started from his seat again.</p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“Madam, will you really be so good!”</span> he cried, with strong feeling.
<span class="tei tei-q">“Good God, you've saved me! You have saved a man from a
violent death, from a bullet.... My eternal gratitude—”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“I will give you more, infinitely more than three thousand!”</span> cried
Madame Hohlakov, looking with a radiant smile at Mitya's ecstasy.</p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“Infinitely? But I don't need so much. I only need that fatal
three thousand, and on my part I can give security for that sum
with infinite gratitude, and I propose a plan which—”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“Enough, Dmitri Fyodorovitch, it's said and done.”</span> Madame
Hohlakov cut him short, with the modest triumph of beneficence:
<span class="tei tei-q">“I have promised to save you, and I will save you. I will save you
as I did Belmesov. What do you think of the gold-mines, Dmitri
Fyodorovitch?”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“Of the gold-mines, madam? I have never thought anything
about them.”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“But I have thought of them for you. Thought of them over
and over again. I have been watching you for the last month. I've
watched you a hundred times as you've walked past, saying to myself:
That's a man of energy who ought to be at the gold-mines.
I've studied your gait and come to the conclusion: that's a man who
would find gold.”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“From my gait, madam?”</span> said Mitya, smiling.</p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“Yes, from your gait. You surely don't deny that character can
be told from the gait, Dmitri Fyodorovitch? Science supports the
idea. I'm all for science and realism now. After all this business
<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page431"></span><SPAN name="Pg431" id="Pg431" class="tei tei-anchor"></SPAN>
with Father Zossima, which has so upset me, from this very day I'm
a realist and I want to devote myself to practical usefulness. I'm
cured. <span class="tei tei-q">‘Enough!’</span> as Turgenev says.”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“But, madam, the three thousand you so generously promised to
lend me—”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“It is yours, Dmitri Fyodorovitch,”</span> Madame Hohlakov cut in
at once. <span class="tei tei-q">“The money is as good as in your pocket, not three thousand,
but three million, Dmitri Fyodorovitch, in less than no time.
I'll make you a present of the idea: you shall find gold-mines, make
millions, return and become a leading man, and wake us up and
lead us to better things. Are we to leave it all to the Jews? You
will found institutions and enterprises of all sorts. You will help
the poor, and they will bless you. This is the age of railways, Dmitri
Fyodorovitch. You'll become famous and indispensable to the Department
of Finance, which is so badly off at present. The depreciation
of the rouble keeps me awake at night, Dmitri Fyodorovitch;
people don't know that side of me—”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“Madam, madam!”</span> Dmitri interrupted with an uneasy presentiment.
<span class="tei tei-q">“I shall indeed, perhaps, follow your advice, your wise advice,
madam.... I shall perhaps set off ... to the gold-mines....
I'll come and see you again about it ... many times, indeed ...
but now, that three thousand you so generously ... oh, that would
set me free, and if you could to-day ... you see, I haven't a minute,
a minute to lose to-day—”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“Enough, Dmitri Fyodorovitch, enough!”</span> Madame Hohlakov interrupted
emphatically. <span class="tei tei-q">“The question is, will you go to the gold-mines
or not; have you quite made up your mind? Answer yes or
no.”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“I will go, madam, afterwards.... I'll go where you like ...
but now—”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“Wait!”</span> cried Madame Hohlakov. And jumping up and running
to a handsome bureau with numerous little drawers, she began pulling
out one drawer after another, looking for something with desperate
haste.</p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“The three thousand,”</span> thought Mitya, his heart almost stopping,
<span class="tei tei-q">“and at the instant ... without any papers or formalities ...
that's doing things in gentlemanly style! She's a splendid woman,
if only she didn't talk so much!”</span></p>
<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page432"></span><SPAN name="Pg432" id="Pg432" class="tei tei-anchor"></SPAN>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“Here!”</span> cried Madame Hohlakov, running back joyfully to Mitya,
<span class="tei tei-q">“here is what I was looking for!”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
It was a tiny silver ikon on a cord, such as is sometimes worn next
the skin with a cross.</p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“This is from Kiev, Dmitri Fyodorovitch,”</span> she went on reverently,
<span class="tei tei-q">“from the relics of the Holy Martyr, Varvara. Let me put it
on your neck myself, and with it dedicate you to a new life, to a new
career.”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
And she actually put the cord round his neck, and began arranging
it. In extreme embarrassment, Mitya bent down and helped
her, and at last he got it under his neck-tie and collar through his
shirt to his chest.</p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“Now you can set off,”</span> Madame Hohlakov pronounced, sitting
down triumphantly in her place again.</p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“Madam, I am so touched. I don't know how to thank you, indeed ...
for such kindness, but ... If only you knew how
precious time is to me.... That sum of money, for which I shall
be indebted to your generosity.... Oh, madam, since you are so
kind, so touchingly generous to me,”</span> Mitya exclaimed impulsively,
<span class="tei tei-q">“then let me reveal to you ... though, of course, you've known it
a long time ... that I love somebody here.... I have been false
to Katya ... Katerina Ivanovna I should say.... Oh, I've behaved
inhumanly, dishonorably to her, but I fell in love here with
another woman ... a woman whom you, madam, perhaps, despise,
for you know everything already, but whom I cannot leave on any
account, and therefore that three thousand now—”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“Leave everything, Dmitri Fyodorovitch,”</span> Madame Hohlakov interrupted
in the most decisive tone. <span class="tei tei-q">“Leave everything, especially
women. Gold-mines are your goal, and there's no place for women
there. Afterwards, when you come back rich and famous, you will
find the girl of your heart in the highest society. That will be a
modern girl, a girl of education and advanced ideas. By that time
the dawning woman question will have gained ground, and the new
woman will have appeared.”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“Madam, that's not the point, not at all....”</span> Mitya clasped
his hands in entreaty.</p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“Yes, it is, Dmitri Fyodorovitch, just what you need; the very
thing you're yearning for, though you don't realize it yourself. I
<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page433"></span><SPAN name="Pg433" id="Pg433" class="tei tei-anchor"></SPAN>
am not at all opposed to the present woman movement, Dmitri
Fyodorovitch. The development of woman, and even the political
emancipation of woman in the near future—that's my ideal. I've
a daughter myself, Dmitri Fyodorovitch, people don't know that
side of me. I wrote a letter to the author, Shtchedrin, on that
subject. He has taught me so much, so much about the vocation
of woman. So last year I sent him an anonymous letter of two
lines: <span class="tei tei-q">‘I kiss and embrace you, my teacher, for the modern woman.
Persevere.’</span> And I signed myself, <span class="tei tei-q">‘A Mother.’</span> I thought of signing
myself <span class="tei tei-q">‘A contemporary Mother,’</span> and hesitated, but I stuck to the
simple <span class="tei tei-q">‘Mother’</span>; there's more moral beauty in that, Dmitri Fyodorovitch.
And the word <span class="tei tei-q">‘contemporary’</span> might have reminded him of
<span class="tei tei-q">‘<span class="tei tei-hi"><span style="font-style: italic">The Contemporary</span></span>’</span>—a painful recollection owing to the
censorship.... Good Heavens, what is the matter!”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“Madam!”</span> cried Mitya, jumping up at last, clasping his hands
before her in helpless entreaty. <span class="tei tei-q">“You will make me weep if you
delay what you have so generously—”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“Oh, do weep, Dmitri Fyodorovitch, do weep! That's a noble
feeling ... such a path lies open before you! Tears will ease
your heart, and later on you will return rejoicing. You will hasten
to me from Siberia on purpose to share your joy with me—”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“But allow me, too!”</span> Mitya cried suddenly. <span class="tei tei-q">“For the last time I
entreat you, tell me, can I have the sum you promised me to-day,
if not, when may I come for it?”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“What sum, Dmitri Fyodorovitch?”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“The three thousand you promised me ... that you so generously—”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“Three thousand? Roubles? Oh, no, I haven't got three thousand,”</span>
Madame Hohlakov announced with serene amazement. Mitya
was stupefied.</p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“Why, you said just now ... you said ... you said it was as
good as in my hands—”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“Oh, no, you misunderstood me, Dmitri Fyodorovitch. In that
case you misunderstood me. I was talking of the gold-mines. It's
true I promised you more, infinitely more than three thousand, I
remember it all now, but I was referring to the gold-mines.”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“But the money? The three thousand?”</span> Mitya exclaimed, awkwardly.</p>
<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page434"></span><SPAN name="Pg434" id="Pg434" class="tei tei-anchor"></SPAN>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“Oh, if you meant money, I haven't any. I haven't a penny,
Dmitri Fyodorovitch. I'm quarreling with my steward about it,
and I've just borrowed five hundred roubles from Miüsov, myself.
No, no, I've no money. And, do you know, Dmitri Fyodorovitch,
if I had, I wouldn't give it to you. In the first place I never lend
money. Lending money means losing friends. And I wouldn't give
it to you particularly. I wouldn't give it you, because I like you
and want to save you, for all you need is the gold-mines, the gold-mines,
the gold-mines!”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“Oh, the devil!”</span> roared Mitya, and with all his might brought
his fist down on the table.</p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“Aie! Aie!”</span> cried Madame Hohlakov, alarmed, and she flew
to the other end of the drawing-room.</p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
Mitya spat on the ground, and strode rapidly out of the room, out
of the house, into the street, into the darkness! He walked like one
possessed, and beating himself on the breast, on the spot where he
had struck himself two days previously, before Alyosha, the last
time he saw him in the dark, on the road. What those blows upon
his breast signified, <em class="tei tei-emph"><span style="font-style: italic">on that spot</span></em>, and what he meant by it—that
was, for the time, a secret which was known to no one in the
world, and had not been told even to Alyosha. But that secret
meant for him more than disgrace; it meant ruin, suicide. So he
had determined, if he did not get hold of the three thousand that
would pay his debt to Katerina Ivanovna, and so remove from his
breast, from <em class="tei tei-emph"><span style="font-style: italic">that spot on his breast</span></em>, the shame he carried upon it,
that weighed on his conscience. All this will be fully explained
to the reader later on, but now that his last hope had vanished, this
man, so strong in appearance, burst out crying like a little child
a few steps from the Hohlakovs' house. He walked on, and not
knowing what he was doing, wiped away his tears with his fist.
In this way he reached the square, and suddenly became aware that
he had stumbled against something. He heard a piercing wail from
an old woman whom he had almost knocked down.</p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“Good Lord, you've nearly killed me! Why don't you look where
you're going, scapegrace?”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“Why, it's you!”</span> cried Mitya, recognizing the old woman in the
dark. It was the old servant who waited on Samsonov, whom
Mitya had particularly noticed the day before.</p>
<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page435"></span><SPAN name="Pg435" id="Pg435" class="tei tei-anchor"></SPAN>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“And who are you, my good sir?”</span> said the old woman, in quite a
different voice. <span class="tei tei-q">“I don't know you in the dark.”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“You live at Kuzma Kuzmitch's. You're the servant there?”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“Just so, sir, I was only running out to Prohoritch's.... But I
don't know you now.”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“Tell me, my good woman, is Agrafena Alexandrovna there
now?”</span> said Mitya, beside himself with suspense. <span class="tei tei-q">“I saw her to the
house some time ago.”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“She has been there, sir. She stayed a little while, and went off
again.”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“What? Went away?”</span> cried Mitya. <span class="tei tei-q">“When did she go?”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“Why, as soon as she came. She only stayed a minute. She only
told Kuzma Kuzmitch a tale that made him laugh, and then she
ran away.”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“You're lying, damn you!”</span> roared Mitya.</p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“Aie! Aie!”</span> shrieked the old woman, but Mitya had vanished.</p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
He ran with all his might to the house where Grushenka lived.
At the moment he reached it, Grushenka was on her way to Mokroe.
It was not more than a quarter of an hour after her departure.</p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
Fenya was sitting with her grandmother, the old cook, Matryona,
in the kitchen when <span class="tei tei-q">“the captain”</span> ran in. Fenya uttered a piercing
shriek on seeing him.</p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“You scream?”</span> roared Mitya, <span class="tei tei-q">“where is she?”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
But without giving the terror-stricken Fenya time to utter a
word, he fell all of a heap at her feet.</p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“Fenya, for Christ's sake, tell me, where is she?”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“I don't know. Dmitri Fyodorovitch, my dear, I don't know.
You may kill me but I can't tell you.”</span> Fenya swore and protested.
<span class="tei tei-q">“You went out with her yourself not long ago—”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“She came back!”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“Indeed she didn't. By God I swear she didn't come back.”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“You're lying!”</span> shouted Mitya. <span class="tei tei-q">“From your terror I know
where she is.”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
He rushed away. Fenya in her fright was glad she had got off
so easily. But she knew very well that it was only that he was in
such haste, or she might not have fared so well. But as he ran, he
surprised both Fenya and old Matryona by an unexpected action.
On the table stood a brass mortar, with a pestle in it, a small brass
<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page436"></span><SPAN name="Pg436" id="Pg436" class="tei tei-anchor"></SPAN>
pestle, not much more than six inches long. Mitya already had
opened the door with one hand when, with the other, he snatched
up the pestle, and thrust it in his side-pocket.</p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“Oh, Lord! He's going to murder some one!”</span> cried Fenya, flinging
up her hands.</p>
</div>
<div class="tei tei-div" style="margin-bottom: 3.00em; margin-top: 3.00em">
<div style="break-after:column;"></div><br />