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<h3 class="tei tei-head" style="text-align: left; margin-bottom: 2.40em; margin-top: 2.40em"><span style="font-size: 120%">Chapter V. A Sudden Resolution</span></h3>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
She was sitting in the kitchen with her grandmother; they were
both just going to bed. Relying on Nazar Ivanovitch, they had
not locked themselves in. Mitya ran in, pounced on Fenya and
seized her by the throat.</p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“Speak at once! Where is she? With whom is she now, at
Mokroe?”</span> he roared furiously.</p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
Both the women squealed.</p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“Aie! I'll tell you. Aie! Dmitri Fyodorovitch, darling, I'll
tell you everything directly, I won't hide anything,”</span> gabbled Fenya,
frightened to death; <span class="tei tei-q">“she's gone to Mokroe, to her officer.”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“What officer?”</span> roared Mitya.</p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“To her officer, the same one she used to know, the one who
threw her over five years ago,”</span> cackled Fenya, as fast as she could
speak.</p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
Mitya withdrew the hands with which he was squeezing her
throat. He stood facing her, pale as death, unable to utter a word,
but his eyes showed that he realized it all, all, from the first word,
and guessed the whole position. Poor Fenya was not in a condition
at that moment to observe whether he understood or not. She
remained sitting on the trunk as she had been when he ran into the
room, trembling all over, holding her hands out before her as though
trying to defend herself. She seemed to have grown rigid in that
position. Her wide-opened, scared eyes were fixed immovably upon
him. And to make matters worse, both his hands were smeared
with blood. On the way, as he ran, he must have touched his forehead
<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page443"></span><SPAN name="Pg443" id="Pg443" class="tei tei-anchor"></SPAN>
with them, wiping off the perspiration, so that on his forehead
and his right cheek were blood-stained patches. Fenya was on the
verge of hysterics. The old cook had jumped up and was staring
at him like a mad woman, almost unconscious with terror.</p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
Mitya stood for a moment, then mechanically sank on to a chair
next to Fenya. He sat, not reflecting but, as it were, terror-stricken,
benumbed. Yet everything was clear as day: that officer,
he knew about him, he knew everything perfectly, he had known
it from Grushenka herself, had known that a letter had come from
him a month before. So that for a month, for a whole month, this
had been going on, a secret from him, till the very arrival of this
new man, and he had never thought of him! But how could he,
how could he not have thought of him? Why was it he had forgotten
this officer, like that, forgotten him as soon as he heard of
him? That was the question that faced him like some monstrous
thing. And he looked at this monstrous thing with horror, growing
cold with horror.</p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
But suddenly, as gently and mildly as a gentle and affectionate
child, he began speaking to Fenya as though he had utterly forgotten
how he had scared and hurt her just now. He fell to questioning
Fenya with an extreme preciseness, astonishing in his position, and
though the girl looked wildly at his blood-stained hands, she, too,
with wonderful readiness and rapidity, answered every question as
though eager to put the whole truth and nothing but the truth
before him. Little by little, even with a sort of enjoyment, she
began explaining every detail, not wanting to torment him, but, as
it were, eager to be of the utmost service to him. She described
the whole of that day, in great detail, the visit of Rakitin and
Alyosha, how she, Fenya, had stood on the watch, how the mistress
had set off, and how she had called out of the window to Alyosha
to give him, Mitya, her greetings, and to tell him <span class="tei tei-q">“to remember
for ever how she had loved him for an hour.”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
Hearing of the message, Mitya suddenly smiled, and there was
a flush of color on his pale cheeks. At the same moment Fenya said
to him, not a bit afraid now to be inquisitive:</p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“Look at your hands, Dmitri Fyodorovitch. They're all over
blood!”</span></p>
<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page444"></span><SPAN name="Pg444" id="Pg444" class="tei tei-anchor"></SPAN>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“Yes,”</span> answered Mitya mechanically. He looked carelessly at
his hands and at once forgot them and Fenya's question.</p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
He sank into silence again. Twenty minutes had passed since
he had run in. His first horror was over, but evidently some new
fixed determination had taken possession of him. He suddenly stood
up, smiling dreamily.</p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“What has happened to you, sir?”</span> said Fenya, pointing to his
hands again. She spoke compassionately, as though she felt very
near to him now in his grief. Mitya looked at his hands again.</p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“That's blood, Fenya,”</span> he said, looking at her with a strange expression.
<span class="tei tei-q">“That's human blood, and my God! why was it shed?
But ... Fenya ... there's a fence here”</span> (he looked at her as
though setting her a riddle), <span class="tei tei-q">“a high fence, and terrible to look at.
But at dawn to-morrow, when the sun rises, Mitya will leap over
that fence.... You don't understand what fence, Fenya, and,
never mind.... You'll hear to-morrow and understand ... and
now, good-by. I won't stand in her way. I'll step aside, I know
how to step aside. Live, my joy.... You loved me for an hour,
remember Mityenka Karamazov so for ever.... She always used
to call me Mityenka, do you remember?”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
And with those words he went suddenly out of the kitchen.
Fenya was almost more frightened at this sudden departure than she
had been when he ran in and attacked her.</p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
Just ten minutes later Dmitri went in to Pyotr Ilyitch Perhotin,
the young official with whom he had pawned his pistols. It was
by now half-past eight, and Pyotr Ilyitch had finished his evening
tea, and had just put his coat on again to go to the <span class="tei tei-q">“Metropolis”</span> to
play billiards. Mitya caught him coming out.</p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
Seeing him with his face all smeared with blood, the young man
uttered a cry of surprise.</p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“Good heavens! What is the matter?”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“I've come for my pistols,”</span> said Mitya, <span class="tei tei-q">“and brought you the
money. And thanks very much. I'm in a hurry, Pyotr Ilyitch,
please make haste.”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
Pyotr Ilyitch grew more and more surprised; he suddenly caught
sight of a bundle of bank-notes in Mitya's hand, and what was more,
he had walked in holding the notes as no one walks in and no one
carries money: he had them in his right hand, and held them outstretched
<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page445"></span><SPAN name="Pg445" id="Pg445" class="tei tei-anchor"></SPAN>
as if to show them. Perhotin's servant-boy, who met
Mitya in the passage, said afterwards that he walked into the passage
in the same way, with the money outstretched in his hand, so
he must have been carrying them like that even in the streets. They
were all rainbow-colored hundred-rouble notes, and the fingers holding
them were covered with blood.</p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
When Pyotr Ilyitch was questioned later on as to the sum of
money, he said that it was difficult to judge at a glance, but that it
might have been two thousand, or perhaps three, but it was a big,
<span class="tei tei-q">“fat”</span> bundle. <span class="tei tei-q">“Dmitri Fyodorovitch,”</span> so he testified afterwards,
<span class="tei tei-q">“seemed unlike himself, too; not drunk, but, as it were, exalted,
lost to everything, but at the same time, as it were, absorbed, as
though pondering and searching for something and unable to come
to a decision. He was in great haste, answered abruptly and very
strangely, and at moments seemed not at all dejected but quite
cheerful.”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“But what <em class="tei tei-emph"><span style="font-style: italic">is</span></em> the matter with you? What's wrong?”</span> cried Pyotr
Ilyitch, looking wildly at his guest. <span class="tei tei-q">“How is it that you're all
covered with blood? Have you had a fall? Look at yourself!”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
He took him by the elbow and led him to the glass.</p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
Seeing his blood-stained face, Mitya started and scowled wrathfully.</p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“Damnation! That's the last straw,”</span> he muttered angrily, hurriedly
changing the notes from his right hand to the left, and impulsively
jerked the handkerchief out of his pocket. But the handkerchief
turned out to be soaked with blood, too (it was the handkerchief
he had used to wipe Grigory's face). There was scarcely
a white spot on it, and it had not merely begun to dry, but had
stiffened into a crumpled ball and could not be pulled apart. Mitya
threw it angrily on the floor.</p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“Oh, damn it!”</span> he said. <span class="tei tei-q">“Haven't you a rag of some sort ...
to wipe my face?”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“So you're only stained, not wounded? You'd better wash,”</span> said
Pyotr Ilyitch. <span class="tei tei-q">“Here's a wash-stand. I'll pour you out some
water.”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“A wash-stand? That's all right ... but where am I to put
this?”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
With the strangest perplexity he indicated his bundle of hundred-rouble
<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page446"></span><SPAN name="Pg446" id="Pg446" class="tei tei-anchor"></SPAN>
notes, looking inquiringly at Pyotr Ilyitch as though it were
for him to decide what he, Mitya, was to do with his own money.</p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“In your pocket, or on the table here. They won't be lost.”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“In my pocket? Yes, in my pocket. All right.... But, I
say, that's all nonsense,”</span> he cried, as though suddenly coming out of
his absorption. <span class="tei tei-q">“Look here, let's first settle that business of the
pistols. Give them back to me. Here's your money ... because I
am in great need of them ... and I haven't a minute, a minute
to spare.”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
And taking the topmost note from the bundle he held it out to
Pyotr Ilyitch.</p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“But I shan't have change enough. Haven't you less?”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“No,”</span> said Mitya, looking again at the bundle, and as though not
trusting his own words he turned over two or three of the topmost
ones.</p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“No, they're all alike,”</span> he added, and again he looked inquiringly
at Pyotr Ilyitch.</p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“How have you grown so rich?”</span> the latter asked. <span class="tei tei-q">“Wait, I'll
send my boy to Plotnikov's, they close late—to see if they won't
change it. Here, Misha!”</span> he called into the passage.</p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“To Plotnikov's shop—first-rate!”</span> cried Mitya, as though struck
by an idea. <span class="tei tei-q">“Misha,”</span> he turned to the boy as he came in, <span class="tei tei-q">“look
here, run to Plotnikov's and tell them that Dmitri Fyodorovitch
sends his greetings, and will be there directly.... But listen, listen,
tell them to have champagne, three dozen bottles, ready before I
come, and packed as it was to take to Mokroe. I took four dozen
with me then,”</span> he added (suddenly addressing Pyotr Ilyitch); <span class="tei tei-q">“they
know all about it, don't you trouble, Misha,”</span> he turned again to
the boy. <span class="tei tei-q">“Stay, listen; tell them to put in cheese, Strasburg pies,
smoked fish, ham, caviare, and everything, everything they've got,
up to a hundred roubles, or a hundred and twenty as before....
But wait: don't let them forget dessert, sweets, pears, water-melons,
two or three or four—no, one melon's enough, and chocolate, candy,
toffee, fondants; in fact, everything I took to Mokroe before, three
hundred roubles' worth with the champagne ... let it be just the
same again. And remember, Misha, if you are called Misha—His
name is Misha, isn't it?”</span> He turned to Pyotr Ilyitch again.</p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“Wait a minute,”</span> Protr Ilyitch intervened, listening and watching
<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page447"></span><SPAN name="Pg447" id="Pg447" class="tei tei-anchor"></SPAN>
him uneasily, <span class="tei tei-q">“you'd better go yourself and tell them. He'll muddle
it.”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“He will, I see he will! Eh, Misha! Why, I was going to kiss
you for the commission.... If you don't make a mistake, there's
ten roubles for you, run along, make haste.... Champagne's the
chief thing, let them bring up champagne. And brandy, too, and
red and white wine, and all I had then.... They know what I
had then.”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“But listen!”</span> Pyotr Ilyitch interrupted with some impatience.
<span class="tei tei-q">“I say, let him simply run and change the money and tell them not
to close, and you go and tell them.... Give him your note. Be
off, Misha! Put your best leg forward!”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
Pyotr Ilyitch seemed to hurry Misha off on purpose, because the
boy remained standing with his mouth and eyes wide open, apparently
understanding little of Mitya's orders, gazing up with amazement
and terror at his blood-stained face and the trembling bloodstained
fingers that held the notes.</p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“Well, now come and wash,”</span> said Pyotr Ilyitch sternly. <span class="tei tei-q">“Put
the money on the table or else in your pocket.... That's right,
come along. But take off your coat.”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
And beginning to help him off with his coat, he cried out again:</p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“Look, your coat's covered with blood, too!”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“That ... it's not the coat. It's only a little here on the sleeve....
And that's only here where the handkerchief lay. It must have
soaked through. I must have sat on the handkerchief at Fenya's,
and the blood's come through,”</span> Mitya explained at once with a
childlike unconsciousness that was astounding. Pyotr Ilyitch listened,
frowning.</p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“Well, you must have been up to something; you must have been
fighting with some one,”</span> he muttered.</p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
They began to wash. Pyotr Ilyitch held the jug and poured out
the water. Mitya, in desperate haste, scarcely soaped his hands
(they were trembling, and Pyotr Ilyitch remembered it afterwards).
But the young official insisted on his soaping them thoroughly and
rubbing them more. He seemed to exercise more and more sway
over Mitya, as time went on. It may be noted in passing that he
was a young man of sturdy character.</p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“Look, you haven't got your nails clean. Now rub your face;
<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page448"></span><SPAN name="Pg448" id="Pg448" class="tei tei-anchor"></SPAN>
here, on your temples, by your ear.... Will you go in that shirt?
Where are you going? Look, all the cuff of your right sleeve is
covered with blood.”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“Yes, it's all bloody,”</span> observed Mitya, looking at the cuff of his
shirt.</p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“Then change your shirt.”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“I haven't time. You see I'll ...”</span> Mitya went on with the
same confiding ingenuousness, drying his face and hands on the
towel, and putting on his coat. <span class="tei tei-q">“I'll turn it up at the wrist. It
won't be seen under the coat.... You see!”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“Tell me now, what game have you been up to? Have you been
fighting with some one? In the tavern again, as before? Have you
been beating that captain again?”</span> Pyotr Ilyitch asked him reproachfully.
<span class="tei tei-q">“Whom have you been beating now ... or killing, perhaps?”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“Nonsense!”</span> said Mitya.</p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“Why <span class="tei tei-q">‘nonsense’</span>?”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“Don't worry,”</span> said Mitya, and he suddenly laughed. <span class="tei tei-q">“I smashed
an old woman in the market-place just now.”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“Smashed? An old woman?”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“An old man!”</span> cried Mitya, looking Pyotr Ilyitch straight in the
face, laughing, and shouting at him as though he were deaf.</p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“Confound it! An old woman, an old man.... Have you
killed some one?”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“We made it up. We had a row—and made it up. In a place I
know of. We parted friends. A fool.... He's forgiven me....
He's sure to have forgiven me by now ... if he had got up, he
wouldn't have forgiven me”</span>—Mitya suddenly winked—<span class="tei tei-q">“only damn
him, you know, I say, Pyotr Ilyitch, damn him! Don't worry about
him! I don't want to just now!”</span> Mitya snapped out, resolutely.</p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“Whatever do you want to go picking quarrels with every one
for? ... Just as you did with that captain over some nonsense....
You've been fighting and now you're rushing off on the spree—that's
you all over! Three dozen champagne—what do you want
all that for?”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“Bravo! Now give me the pistols. Upon my honor I've no
time now. I should like to have a chat with you, my dear boy, but
I haven't the time. And there's no need, it's too late for talking.
<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page449"></span><SPAN name="Pg449" id="Pg449" class="tei tei-anchor"></SPAN>
Where's my money? Where have I put it?”</span> he cried, thrusting his
hands into his pockets.</p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“You put it on the table ... yourself.... Here it is. Had
you forgotten? Money's like dirt or water to you, it seems. Here
are your pistols. It's an odd thing, at six o'clock you pledged them
for ten roubles, and now you've got thousands. Two or three I
should say.”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“Three, you bet,”</span> laughed Mitya, stuffing the notes into the side-pocket
of his trousers.</p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“You'll lose it like that. Have you found a gold-mine?”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“The mines? The gold-mines?”</span> Mitya shouted at the top of his
voice and went off into a roar of laughter. <span class="tei tei-q">“Would you like to go
to the mines, Perhotin? There's a lady here who'll stump up three
thousand for you, if only you'll go. She did it for me, she's so
awfully fond of gold-mines. Do you know Madame Hohlakov?”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“I don't know her, but I've heard of her and seen her. Did she
really give you three thousand? Did she really?”</span> said Pyotr Ilyitch,
eyeing him dubiously.</p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“As soon as the sun rises to-morrow, as soon as Phœbus, ever
young, flies upwards, praising and glorifying God, you go to her, this
Madame Hohlakov, and ask her whether she did stump up that
three thousand or not. Try and find out.”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“I don't know on what terms you are ... since you say it so
positively, I suppose she did give it to you. You've got the money
in your hand, but instead of going to Siberia you're spending it all....
Where are you really off to now, eh?”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“To Mokroe.”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“To Mokroe? But it's night!”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“Once the lad had all, now the lad has naught,”</span> cried Mitya
suddenly.</p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“How <span class="tei tei-q">‘naught’</span>? You say that with all those thousands!”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“I'm not talking about thousands. Damn thousands! I'm talking
of the female character.</span></p>
<div class="block tei tei-quote" style="margin-bottom: 1.80em; margin-left: 3.60em; margin-top: 1.80em; margin-right: 3.60em">
<div class="tei tei-lg" style="margin-bottom: 0.90em; margin-top: 0.90em">
<div class="tei tei-l" style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: 90%">Fickle is the heart of woman</span></div>
<div class="tei tei-l" style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: 90%">Treacherous and full of vice;</span></div>
</div></div>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">I agree with Ulysses. That's what he says.”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“I don't understand you!”</span></p>
<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page450"></span><SPAN name="Pg450" id="Pg450" class="tei tei-anchor"></SPAN>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“Am I drunk?”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“Not drunk, but worse.”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“I'm drunk in spirit, Pyotr Ilyitch, drunk in spirit! But that's
enough!”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“What are you doing, loading the pistol?”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“I'm loading the pistol.”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
Unfastening the pistol-case, Mitya actually opened the powder
horn, and carefully sprinkled and rammed in the charge. Then
he took the bullet and, before inserting it, held it in two fingers in
front of the candle.</p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“Why are you looking at the bullet?”</span> asked Pyotr Ilyitch, watching
him with uneasy curiosity.</p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“Oh, a fancy. Why, if you meant to put that bullet in your
brain, would you look at it or not?”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“Why look at it?”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“It's going into my brain, so it's interesting to look and see what
it's like. But that's foolishness, a moment's foolishness. Now
that's done,”</span> he added, putting in the bullet and driving it home
with the ramrod. <span class="tei tei-q">“Pyotr Ilyitch, my dear fellow, that's nonsense,
all nonsense, and if only you knew what nonsense! Give me a little
piece of paper now.”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“Here's some paper.”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“No, a clean new piece, writing-paper. That's right.”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
And taking a pen from the table, Mitya rapidly wrote two
lines, folded the paper in four, and thrust it in his waistcoat pocket.
He put the pistols in the case, locked it up, and kept it in his hand.
Then he looked at Pyotr Ilyitch with a slow, thoughtful smile.</p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“Now, let's go.”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“Where are we going? No, wait a minute.... Are you thinking
of putting that bullet in your brain, perhaps?”</span> Pyotr Ilyitch
asked uneasily.</p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“I was fooling about the bullet! I want to live. I love life! You
may be sure of that. I love golden-haired Phœbus and his warm
light.... Dear Pyotr Ilyitch, do you know how to step aside?”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“What do you mean by <span class="tei tei-q">‘stepping aside’</span>?”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“Making way. Making way for a dear creature, and for one I
hate. And to let the one I hate become dear—that's what making
<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page451"></span><SPAN name="Pg451" id="Pg451" class="tei tei-anchor"></SPAN>
way means! And to say to them: God bless you, go your way, pass
on, while I—”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“While you—?”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“That's enough, let's go.”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“Upon my word. I'll tell some one to prevent your going there,”</span>
said Pyotr Ilyitch, looking at him. <span class="tei tei-q">“What are you going to Mokroe
for, now?”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“There's a woman there, a woman. That's enough for you. You
shut up.”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“Listen, though you're such a savage I've always liked you....
I feel anxious.”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“Thanks, old fellow. I'm a savage you say. Savages, savages!
That's what I am always saying. Savages! Why, here's Misha! I
was forgetting him.”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
Misha ran in, post-haste, with a handful of notes in change, and
reported that every one was in a bustle at the Plotnikovs'; <span class="tei tei-q">“They're
carrying down the bottles, and the fish, and the tea; it will all be
ready directly.”</span> Mitya seized ten roubles and handed it to Pyotr
Ilyitch, then tossed another ten-rouble note to Misha.</p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“Don't dare to do such a thing!”</span> cried Pyotr Ilyitch. <span class="tei tei-q">“I won't
have it in my house, it's a bad, demoralizing habit. Put your money
away. Here, put it here, why waste it? It would come in handy
to-morrow, and I dare say you'll be coming to me to borrow ten
roubles again. Why do you keep putting the notes in your side-pocket?
Ah, you'll lose them!”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“I say, my dear fellow, let's go to Mokroe together.”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“What should I go for?”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“I say, let's open a bottle at once, and drink to life! I want to
drink, and especially to drink with you. I've never drunk with you,
have I?”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“Very well, we can go to the <span class="tei tei-q">‘Metropolis.’</span> I was just going
there.”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“I haven't time for that. Let's drink at the Plotnikovs', in the
back room. Shall I ask you a riddle?”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“Ask away.”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
Mitya took the piece of paper out of his waistcoat pocket, unfolded
it and showed it. In a large, distinct hand was written: <span class="tei tei-q">“I
punish myself for my whole life, my whole life I punish!”</span></p>
<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page452"></span><SPAN name="Pg452" id="Pg452" class="tei tei-anchor"></SPAN>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“I will certainly speak to some one, I'll go at once,”</span> said Pyotr
Ilyitch, after reading the paper.</p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“You won't have time, dear boy, come and have a drink. March!”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
Plotnikov's shop was at the corner of the street, next door but
one to Pyotr Ilyitch's. It was the largest grocery shop in our
town, and by no means a bad one, belonging to some rich merchants.
They kept everything that could be got in a Petersburg
shop, grocery of all sort, wines <span class="tei tei-q">“bottled by the brothers Eliseyev,”</span>
fruits, cigars, tea, coffee, sugar, and so on. There were three shop-assistants
and two errand boys always employed. Though our part
of the country had grown poorer, the landowners had gone away,
and trade had got worse, yet the grocery stores flourished as before,
every year with increasing prosperity; there were plenty of purchasers
for their goods.</p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
They were awaiting Mitya with impatience in the shop. They
had vivid recollections of how he had bought, three or four weeks
ago, wine and goods of all sorts to the value of several hundred
roubles, paid for in cash (they would never have let him have anything
on credit, of course). They remembered that then, as now,
he had had a bundle of hundred-rouble notes in his hand, and had
scattered them at random, without bargaining, without reflecting,
or caring to reflect what use so much wine and provisions would be
to him. The story was told all over the town that, driving off then
with Grushenka to Mokroe, he had <span class="tei tei-q">“spent three thousand in one
night and the following day, and had come back from the spree
without a penny.”</span> He had picked up a whole troop of gypsies (encamped
in our neighborhood at the time), who for two days got
money without stint out of him while he was drunk, and drank
expensive wine without stint. People used to tell, laughing at
Mitya, how he had given champagne to grimy-handed peasants,
and feasted the village women and girls on sweets and Strasburg
pies. Though to laugh at Mitya to his face was rather a risky
proceeding, there was much laughter behind his back, especially in
the tavern, at his own ingenuous public avowal that all he had got
out of Grushenka by this <span class="tei tei-q">“escapade”</span> was <span class="tei tei-q">“permission to kiss her
foot, and that was the utmost she had allowed him.”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
By the time Mitya and Pyotr Ilyitch reached the shop, they
found a cart with three horses harnessed abreast with bells, and
<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page453"></span><SPAN name="Pg453" id="Pg453" class="tei tei-anchor"></SPAN>
with Andrey, the driver, ready waiting for Mitya at the entrance.
In the shop they had almost entirely finished packing one box of
provisions, and were only waiting for Mitya's arrival to nail it down
and put it in the cart. Pyotr Ilyitch was astounded.</p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“Where did this cart come from in such a hurry?”</span> he asked Mitya.</p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“I met Andrey as I ran to you, and told him to drive straight here
to the shop. There's no time to lose. Last time I drove with
Timofey, but Timofey now has gone on before me with the witch.
Shall we be very late, Andrey?”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“They'll only get there an hour at most before us, not even that
maybe. I got Timofey ready to start. I know how he'll go. Their
pace won't be ours, Dmitri Fyodorovitch. How could it be? They
won't get there an hour earlier!”</span> Andrey, a lanky, red-haired, middle-aged
driver, wearing a full-skirted coat, and with a kaftan on
his arm, replied warmly.</p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“Fifty roubles for vodka if we're only an hour behind them.”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“I warrant the time, Dmitri Fyodorovitch. Ech, they won't be
half an hour before us, let alone an hour.”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
Though Mitya bustled about seeing after things, he gave his orders
strangely, as it were disconnectedly, and inconsecutively. He began
a sentence and forgot the end of it. Pyotr Ilyitch found himself
obliged to come to the rescue.</p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“Four hundred roubles' worth, not less than four hundred roubles'
worth, just as it was then,”</span> commanded Mitya. <span class="tei tei-q">“Four dozen
champagne, not a bottle less.”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“What do you want with so much? What's it for? Stay!”</span> cried
Pyotr Ilyitch. <span class="tei tei-q">“What's this box? What's in it? Surely there isn't
four hundred roubles' worth here?”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
The officious shopmen began explaining with oily politeness that
the first box contained only half a dozen bottles of champagne, and
only <span class="tei tei-q">“the most indispensable articles,”</span> such as savories, sweets, toffee,
etc. But the main part of the goods ordered would be packed
and sent off, as on the previous occasion, in a special cart also with
three horses traveling at full speed, so that it would arrive not more
than an hour later than Dmitri Fyodorovitch himself.</p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“Not more than an hour! Not more than an hour! And put in
more toffee and fondants. The girls there are so fond of it,”</span> Mitya
insisted hotly.</p>
<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page454"></span><SPAN name="Pg454" id="Pg454" class="tei tei-anchor"></SPAN>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“The fondants are all right. But what do you want with four
dozen of champagne? One would be enough,”</span> said Pyotr Ilyitch,
almost angry. He began bargaining, asking for a bill of the goods,
and refused to be satisfied. But he only succeeded in saving a hundred
roubles. In the end it was agreed that only three hundred
roubles' worth should be sent.</p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“Well, you may go to the devil!”</span> cried Pyotr Ilyitch, on second
thoughts. <span class="tei tei-q">“What's it to do with me? Throw away your money,
since it's cost you nothing.”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“This way, my economist, this way, don't be angry.”</span> Mitya
drew him into a room at the back of the shop. <span class="tei tei-q">“They'll give us a
bottle here directly. We'll taste it. Ech, Pyotr Ilyitch, come along
with me, for you're a nice fellow, the sort I like.”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
Mitya sat down on a wicker chair, before a little table, covered
with a dirty dinner-napkin. Pyotr Ilyitch sat down opposite, and
the champagne soon appeared, and oysters were suggested to the
gentlemen. <span class="tei tei-q">“First-class oysters, the last lot in.”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“Hang the oysters. I don't eat them. And we don't need anything,”</span>
cried Pyotr Ilyitch, almost angrily.</p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“There's no time for oysters,”</span> said Mitya. <span class="tei tei-q">“And I'm not hungry.
Do you know, friend,”</span> he said suddenly, with feeling, <span class="tei tei-q">“I never
have liked all this disorder.”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“Who does like it? Three dozen of champagne for peasants, upon
my word, that's enough to make any one angry!”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“That's not what I mean. I'm talking of a higher order. There's
no order in me, no higher order. But ... that's all over. There's
no need to grieve about it. It's too late, damn it! My whole
life has been disorder, and one must set it in order. Is that a
pun, eh?”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“You're raving, not making puns!”</span></p>
<div class="block tei tei-quote" style="margin-bottom: 1.80em; margin-left: 3.60em; margin-top: 1.80em; margin-right: 3.60em">
<div class="tei tei-lg" style="margin-bottom: 0.90em; margin-top: 0.90em">
<div class="tei tei-l" style="text-align: left"><span class="tei tei-q" style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: 90%">“</span><span style="font-size: 90%">Glory be to God in Heaven,</span></span></div>
<div class="tei tei-l" style="text-align: left"><span style="font-size: 90%">Glory be to God in me....</span></div>
</div></div>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“That verse came from my heart once, it's not a verse, but a
tear.... I made it myself ... not while I was pulling the captain's
beard, though....”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“Why do you bring him in all of a sudden?”</span></p>
<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page455"></span><SPAN name="Pg455" id="Pg455" class="tei tei-anchor"></SPAN>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“Why do I bring him in? Foolery! All things come to an end;
all things are made equal. That's the long and short of it.”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“You know, I keep thinking of your pistols.”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“That's all foolery, too! Drink, and don't be fanciful. I love
life. I've loved life too much, shamefully much. Enough! Let's
drink to life, dear boy, I propose the toast. Why am I pleased with
myself? I'm a scoundrel, but I'm satisfied with myself. And yet
I'm tortured by the thought that I'm a scoundrel, but satisfied with
myself. I bless the creation. I'm ready to bless God and His creation
directly, but ... I must kill one noxious insect for fear it
should crawl and spoil life for others.... Let us drink to life,
dear brother. What can be more precious than life? Nothing!
To life, and to one queen of queens!”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“Let's drink to life and to your queen, too, if you like.”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
They drank a glass each. Although Mitya was excited and expansive,
yet he was melancholy, too. It was as though some heavy,
overwhelming anxiety were weighing upon him.</p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“Misha ... here's your Misha come! Misha, come here, my
boy, drink this glass to Phœbus, the golden-haired, of to-morrow
morn....”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“What are you giving it him for?”</span> cried Pyotr Ilyitch, irritably.</p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“Yes, yes, yes, let me! I want to!”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“E—ech!”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
Misha emptied the glass, bowed, and ran out.</p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“He'll remember it afterwards,”</span> Mitya remarked. <span class="tei tei-q">“Woman, I
love woman! What is woman? The queen of creation! My heart
is sad, my heart is sad, Pyotr Ilyitch. Do you remember Hamlet?
<span class="tei tei-q">‘I am very sorry, good Horatio! Alas, poor Yorick!’</span> Perhaps that's
me, Yorick? Yes, I'm Yorick now, and a skull afterwards.”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
Pyotr Ilyitch listened in silence. Mitya, too, was silent for a
while.</p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“What dog's that you've got here?”</span> he asked the shopman, casually,
noticing a pretty little lap-dog with dark eyes, sitting in the
corner.</p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“It belongs to Varvara Alexyevna, the mistress,”</span> answered the
clerk. <span class="tei tei-q">“She brought it and forgot it here. It must be taken back
to her.”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“I saw one like it ... in the regiment ...”</span> murmured Mitya
<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page456"></span><SPAN name="Pg456" id="Pg456" class="tei tei-anchor"></SPAN>
dreamily, <span class="tei tei-q">“only that one had its hind leg broken.... By the
way, Pyotr Ilyitch, I wanted to ask you: have you ever stolen anything
in your life?”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“What a question!”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“Oh, I didn't mean anything. From somebody's pocket, you
know. I don't mean government money, every one steals that, and
no doubt you do, too....”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“You go to the devil.”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“I'm talking of other people's money. Stealing straight out of a
pocket? Out of a purse, eh?”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“I stole twenty copecks from my mother when I was nine years
old. I took it off the table on the sly, and held it tight in my
hand.”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“Well, and what happened?”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“Oh, nothing. I kept it three days, then I felt ashamed, confessed,
and gave it back.”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“And what then?”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“Naturally I was whipped. But why do you ask? Have you
stolen something?”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“I have,”</span> said Mitya, winking slyly.</p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“What have you stolen?”</span> inquired Pyotr Ilyitch curiously.</p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“I stole twenty copecks from my mother when I was nine years
old, and gave it back three days after.”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
As he said this, Mitya suddenly got up.</p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“Dmitri Fyodorovitch, won't you come now?”</span> called Andrey from
the door of the shop.</p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“Are you ready? We'll come!”</span> Mitya started. <span class="tei tei-q">“A few more
last words and—Andrey, a glass of vodka at starting. Give him
some brandy as well! That box”</span> (the one with the pistols) <span class="tei tei-q">“put
under my seat. Good-by, Pyotr Ilyitch, don't remember evil
against me.”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“But you're coming back to-morrow?”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“Of course.”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“Will you settle the little bill now?”</span> cried the clerk, springing
forward.</p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“Oh, yes, the bill. Of course.”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
He pulled the bundle of notes out of his pocket again, picked out
three hundred roubles, threw them on the counter, and ran hurriedly
<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page457"></span><SPAN name="Pg457" id="Pg457" class="tei tei-anchor"></SPAN>
out of the shop. Every one followed him out, bowing and
wishing him good luck. Andrey, coughing from the brandy he had
just swallowed, jumped up on the box. But Mitya was only just
taking his seat when suddenly to his surprise he saw Fenya before
him. She ran up panting, clasped her hands before him with a cry,
and plumped down at his feet.</p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“Dmitri Fyodorovitch, dear good Dmitri Fyodorovitch, don't
harm my mistress. And it was I told you all about it.... And
don't murder him, he came first, he's hers! He'll marry Agrafena
Alexandrovna now. That's why he's come back from Siberia.
Dmitri Fyodorovitch, dear, don't take a fellow creature's life!”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“Tut—tut—tut! That's it, is it? So you're off there to make
trouble!”</span> muttered Pyotr Ilyitch. <span class="tei tei-q">“Now, it's all clear, as clear as
daylight. Dmitri Fyodorovitch, give me your pistols at once if you
mean to behave like a man,”</span> he shouted aloud to Mitya. <span class="tei tei-q">“Do you
hear, Dmitri?”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“The pistols? Wait a bit, brother, I'll throw them into the pool
on the road,”</span> answered Mitya. <span class="tei tei-q">“Fenya, get up, don't kneel to me.
Mitya won't hurt any one, the silly fool won't hurt any one again.
But I say, Fenya,”</span> he shouted, after having taken his seat. <span class="tei tei-q">“I hurt
you just now, so forgive me and have pity on me, forgive a scoundrel....
But it doesn't matter if you don't. It's all the same now.
Now then, Andrey, look alive, fly along full speed!”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
Andrey whipped up the horses, and the bells began ringing.</p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“Good-by, Pyotr Ilyitch! My last tear is for you!...”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“He's not drunk, but he keeps babbling like a lunatic,”</span> Pyotr
Ilyitch thought as he watched him go. He had half a mind to stay
and see the cart packed with the remaining wines and provisions,
knowing that they would deceive and defraud Mitya. But, suddenly
feeling vexed with himself, he turned away with a curse and
went to the tavern to play billiards.</p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“He's a fool, though he's a good fellow,”</span> he muttered as he went.
<span class="tei tei-q">“I've heard of that officer, Grushenka's former flame. Well, if he
has turned up.... Ech, those pistols! Damn it all! I'm not his
nurse! Let them do what they like! Besides, it'll all come to
nothing. They're a set of brawlers, that's all. They'll drink and
fight, fight and make friends again. They are not men who do
anything real. What does he mean by <span class="tei tei-q">‘I'm stepping aside, I'm punishing
<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page458"></span><SPAN name="Pg458" id="Pg458" class="tei tei-anchor"></SPAN>
myself?’</span> It'll come to nothing! He's shouted such phrases
a thousand times, drunk, in the taverns. But now he's not drunk.
<span class="tei tei-q">‘Drunk in spirit’</span>—they're fond of fine phrases, the villains. Am I
his nurse? He must have been fighting, his face was all over blood.
With whom? I shall find out at the <span class="tei tei-q">‘Metropolis.’</span> And his handkerchief
was soaked in blood.... It's still lying on my floor....
Hang it!”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
He reached the tavern in a bad humor and at once made up a
game. The game cheered him. He played a second game, and
suddenly began telling one of his partners that Dmitri Karamazov
had come in for some cash again—something like three thousand
roubles, and had gone to Mokroe again to spend it with Grushenka....
This news roused singular interest in his listeners. They all
spoke of it, not laughing, but with a strange gravity. They left off
playing.</p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“Three thousand? But where can he have got three thousand?”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
Questions were asked. The story of Madame Hohlakov's present
was received with skepticism.</p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“Hasn't he robbed his old father?—that's the question.”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“Three thousand! There's something odd about it.”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“He boasted aloud that he would kill his father; we all heard him,
here. And it was three thousand he talked about ...”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
Pyotr Ilyitch listened. All at once he became short and dry in
his answers. He said not a word about the blood on Mitya's face
and hands, though he had meant to speak of it at first.</p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
They began a third game, and by degrees the talk about Mitya
died away. But by the end of the third game, Pyotr Ilyitch felt no
more desire for billiards; he laid down the cue, and without having
supper as he had intended, he walked out of the tavern. When he
reached the market-place he stood still in perplexity, wondering at
himself. He realized that what he wanted was to go to Fyodor
Pavlovitch's and find out if anything had happened there. <span class="tei tei-q">“On
account of some stupid nonsense—as it's sure to turn out—am I
going to wake up the household and make a scandal? Fooh! damn
it, is it my business to look after them?”</span></p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
In a very bad humor he went straight home, and suddenly remembered
Fenya. <span class="tei tei-q">“Damn it all! I ought to have questioned her
just now,”</span> he thought with vexation, <span class="tei tei-q">“I should have heard everything.”</span>
<span class="tei tei-pb" id="page459"></span><SPAN name="Pg459" id="Pg459" class="tei tei-anchor"></SPAN>
And the desire to speak to her, and so find out, became so
pressing and importunate that when he was half-way home he
turned abruptly and went towards the house where Grushenka
lodged. Going up to the gate he knocked. The sound of the knock
in the silence of the night sobered him and made him feel annoyed.
And no one answered him; every one in the house was asleep.</p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“And I shall be making a fuss!”</span> he thought, with a feeling of
positive discomfort. But instead of going away altogether, he fell
to knocking again with all his might, filling the street with clamor.</p>
<p class="tei tei-p" style="margin-bottom: 1.00em">
<span class="tei tei-q">“Not coming? Well, I will knock them up, I will!”</span> he muttered
at each knock, fuming at himself, but at the same time he redoubled
his knocks on the gate.</p>
</div>
<div class="tei tei-div" style="margin-bottom: 3.00em; margin-top: 3.00em">
<div style="break-after:column;"></div><br />